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journeyman-tier-fibercraft · 14 days

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Machine washed all my recent swatches. I should've taken a before photo for all of them but I forgor. Most of these have noticeable wrinkling which if I were more patient I would've controlled against. But at the end of the day if I'm going to make either a blanket or a sweater out of an machine dry-able yarn, I'm going to throw it in the dryer and live with whatever comes out.

Since I intend for this to be a master post for these swatches for me to refer back to, I'll update in a couple days with any that noticeably change gauge/get less wrinkled with relaxation. (Which I do expect, the "washed gauge" listed below should be taken with a grain of salt)

Willow Yarns Daily DK in Coffee (left), Willow Yarns Daily Worsted in Pomegranate (right)

Daily Dk swatch; 36 Stitches wide, US 6 (4.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 24 stitches by 33 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 24 stitches by 36 rows (per 4 inches)

Daily Worsted swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 7 (4.5mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 22 stitches by 29 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 22 stitches by 31 rows (per 4 inches)

Notes: These two value wools held up as expected to the washer/dryer. That is, not as well as Wool of the Andes Superwash (WotAS), but not Terribly. Putting WotAS through a cleaning cycle resulted in very little change in how the final product looked, there's a little pilling but the actual stitches are very clearly defined. With the Willow line, it's like the actual yarn is superwash (I'm able to unply the tails on these swatches fairly easily) but there's a halo around the yarn that is non superwash and thus felting. It doesn't seem to effect the actual fabric much, but it does make these swatches look more "aged" in comparison to the socks I knit out of WotAS even tho these swatches have only had one washer cycle and the socks have had multiple + wear. It's very possible that with a wool cycle washer/dryer, the surface felting would be less pronounced.

Premier Basix in Mahogany, Herrschners Supreme Worsted in Carmine

Premier Basix swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 8 (5.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 18 stitches by 26 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 18 stitches by 27 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; The name does not lie, basic as hell value acrylic. Didn't get incredibly softer in the wash and feels very "sturdy" for value acrylic. Good stitch definition tho.

Herrschners Supreme Worsted swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 8 (5.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 20 stitches by 26 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 20 stitches by 26 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; Possibly the most accurate Caron Simply Soft dupe I've ever seen. If I didn't hate that yarn I would be more impressed. Good drape for a worsted acrylic and impressive stitch definition.

Herrschners 2-ply Classic Afghan in Almond, Herrschners Baby Wonder in Sandbox

Herrschners 2-ply Classic Afghan swatch; 40 Stitches wide, US 4 (3.5mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 26 stitches by 33 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 26 stitches by 36 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; This yarn is worse than the Herrschners Afghan yarn in practically every way. It was less pleasant to knit (had a plastic feel), less soft overall, and the scarring from wrinkles is far more pronounced. I would be less negative about this yarn if I didn't buy the superior version in the same lot but it is what it is.

Herrschners Baby Wonder swatch; 36 Stitches wide, US 6 (4.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 23 stitches by 30 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 23 stitches by 31 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; The tension change from stockinette to garter really fucked this swatch up, it's rolling up noticeably more than the other swatches. Other than that, this yarn is pretty uneventful? It's not particularly soft nor particularly not soft. It's not something I want to rub my face on but I could wear a garment made from it without issue. The wool blend plays well with the acrylic in this yarn and the stitch definition is nice at this gauge.

Lion Brand Pound of Love in Straw, Herrschners Worsted 8 in Espresso

Lion Brand Pound of Love swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 8 (5.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 20 stitches by 26 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 20 stitches by 29 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; I do not like this yarn but I got it for extremely cheap so I decided to throw it into this swatch mix and it's still the same. Has a rough plasticy texture in comparison to the other value acrylics I tested here. My biggest problem with it continues to be how inconsistent the texture is within the same ball of yarn, in this single ball I've used it's gone from relatively soft to relatively rough and back.

Herrschners Worsted 8 swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 7 (4.5mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 20 stitches by 26 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 20 stitches by 28 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; I expected to utterly hate this yarn but I'm pleasantly surprised by it. The texture is Odd? I've not used a yarn that felt like this one for a very long time, it feels rather unenjoyable in the ball but knits up wayyy softer. I should've bought a lighter colour for this swatch since it's hard to tell the stitches from each other. I'll definitely consider using this yarn over my beloved Big Twist Value for blankets in the future.

Herrschners Afghan in Bing Cherry, Held Single (left) and Held Double (right)

Held Single swatch; 40 Stitches wide, US 4 (3.5mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 27 stitches by 35 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 27 stitches by 36 rows (per 4 inches)

Held Double swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 8 (5.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 20 stitches by 28 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 20 stitches by 29 rows (per 4 inches)

Notes: The real winner of this whole swatching is Herrschners Afghan held single. There's nothing wrong with it held double really (other than the terrible wrinkle but alas that's my fault) but held single, this yarn has incredible drape, softness, and stitch definition. For a really long time I've really wanted to knit a thin v neck sweater to replace one I had a good decade ago, but I've not found a yarn that would be worth the cost (both currency and labor) to justify knitting a sweater in my size at such small gauge. But This yarn absolutely hits that mark. A few negatives; Mild sheen (personal dislike, tho it's not terrible in this yarn). Had the most knots of any of the yarns I tested (I believe there was 3 total, 2 in one ball, 1 in the other). Center pulling this yarn was NOT fun, had major yarn barf that really wanted to tangle in on itself for one of the balls and the yarn is so light and airy it was hard to untangle.

Herrschners Aran in Heather, Premier Anti Pilling Everyday in Walnut

Herrschners Aran swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 7 (4.5mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 20 stitches by 28 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; 20 stitches by 28 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; Terrible. yarn. The nicest thing I can say about it is that I like the colour and that it holds it's shape well. It feels like the world's scratchiest wool but clearly made out of plastic and broken dreams. I've never had an acrylic yarn make my hands itch before. The only thing I could realistically see using this yarn for is something like baskets/yarn bowls.

Premier Anti Pilling Everyday swatch; 30 Stitches wide, US 8 (5.0mm) needles Unwashed Gauge; 19 stitches by 25 rows (per 4 inches) Washed Gauge; stitches by 27 rows (per 4 inches) Notes; The other yarn that reminded me of Caron Simply Soft but not nearly as impressive as the Herrschners Supreme Worsted. It does feel more sturdy than the Supreme Worsted but is maybe half as soft with a much worse drape. The only way I would buy this yarn again is if it was dirt cheap, otherwise it doesn't bring anything to the table that other yarns don't but better (other than maybe being anti pilling, tho I've never had a real issue with pilling from my value acrylics).

#knitting #knitblr #swatch rot?#this took over two hours to type up lmao #long post #i might eventually get more value acrylics to add to this comparison (RHSS. big twist value. whatever they sell at michaels)

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thoughtsandbones · 11 months

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Ιf eyes could kill

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!MedicDoc OC (codename: Blue) 💀💙

WARNINGS: Mention of alcohol, war, misogyny, sexism, racism, profanity, medical inaccuracies and just getting the POV of our friendly neighbourhood masked menace.

Plot: Doctor Ruhari Hari Kaur (OC is South Asian ☺️) joins the 141 again, but this time as their doctor. After the betrayal of Shepherd and Graves, Task Force 141 begins their hunt on his whereabouts and locating Makarov.

PLEASE reblog and like! Hope folks are enjoying the series, I am building up characters and plots, cos I have a lot ideas and just been enjoying writing :D

Song inspo: Deep - Nine Inch Nails and The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

A/N: Flashbacks are getting messed up when I am indenting them and I am getting lots of errors when publishing the work, please bare with some mistakes and spelling issues.

RAMC - Royal Army Medical Corps

I grew up with the OG MW2 game, so there are some references to the old one, so kind of a mix of both the OG and the new timeline... (Also I'm ignoring the OG Shepherd betrayal and keeping in line the one with the new timeline..)

spelling and some grammar mistakes as I am bad at times... :/

(FYI: bold sentences... that are like this... are supposed to describe redacted data/info to the plot... ;] .. )

Please do let me know how you all are finding this fanfic! :D

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6 and PART 7

Part 8

With both arms you push the doors leading out of the OR open letting out a loud sigh, untying your pink flamingo scrub cap and holding onto it, squeezing it within your fist. The surgery was of course a success, a simple appendectomy done in 45 minutes. The take out the pins holding your two french braids up in a bun, letting the braids fall against your back.

Yet you felt on edge. This doesn't normally happen. The irritability bubbling under your skin.

"No need to show off" Dr Jones commented when your were stitching the incision, using your preferred lock-stitch method.

That comment, along with the various other comments before, throughout and at the end of the surgery rattled you.

"Thought you'd be one of the nurses" whilst scrubbing in

"Hm wouldn't have done it that way" Αs you delved into the lower abdomen

"Do Indians chose any other career than medicine or IT?" He said post op.

The rudeness. The sheer audacity. If this was Royal Foxham Hospital, you would've snapped back at him the moment he made the first comment. But no, you didn't have the same reputation as you had back there. Here, you were just a liaison doctor begging to be a part of any surgery again.

General surgery wasn't your area of expertise. Neurosurgery was your arena. Another 4 more years, you'd be a consultant and flying solo.

But that didn't happen. Past trauma caught up to you, and crept back in your life and you dealt with it badly. Bad decisions that nearly lost your career.

Coming back to the 141 and retaining your medical licence was honestly a blessing.

You walk around the building where most of RAMC is based. Trying to calm yourself down. But those comments kept stirring in your head.

"Hey Dr Kaur" a sweet voice called out to you. You turn around and stop your aimless wondering. It was one of the nurses, Clarissa, the pink scrubs making her dark skin more radiant.

"Hey" You say weakly, giving a half-hearted smile leaning back on the wall hands behind your back.

"Look, I want to say sorry about Dr Jones earlier" She says, giving you a sympathetic smile.

"No, don't apologies for him" You say slyly. "Is he always.." you trail off

"Such a pompous ass?" She adds

"Fucking prick is what I would've gone with" You retort. Both of you laugh.

You check your watch, it was nearly 11:30 am and you had to get back to the infirmary.

"It was nice working with you" Clarissa says noting your concerned face as you checked the watch. "Just wanted to make sure you're okay?" she added

"Likewise, you were really good, and I am fine, don't worry" You reply back

Clarissa smiled, turning the around and you watch her walk away, her black braids swinging side to side against her shoulders.

You bang your head lightly against the wall and shake your head. The reminder of Dr Jones brought your irritability to a simmer.

Walking back to Building 2, you run into Gaz who was out on a jog, wearing a shorts and a grey shirt that was seeped in his sweat. He took off his headphones and nodded towards you.

"Morning Doc" he says catching up to you.

You turn to him and smiled slightly.

"Morning Gaz, how are you?" You ask

"Not bad, sweating off the alcohol from last night" He says, panting slightly.

You chuckle briefly, you remember the events of last night.

"No Soap with you?" You ask brightly

"When I swung by his room, he was throwing up in his sink, poor lad didn't make it to the toilet in time" Gaz chuckled

You laughed along with him.

"How was surgery?" Gaz asked you, turning to face you as you both approached Building 2.

"It was... good." You say slowly, pondering at the thought of whether he would want to know the drama or could you be bothered to tell the story and then get further worked up.

Spiralling in your thoughts again you think to yourself.

"Yeah?" Gaz says, looking at you.

"Yes, sorry, brain is fried" You sighed, bringing your hand up scratching your head.

"It's alright" Gaz says turning away from you, smiling.

Both of you head into Building 2, Gaz bids you are farewell as he goes to his room. You head to the infirmary and take the key out of your pocket, unlocking the door and taking off the OUT OF OFFICE sign off that you put up earlier.

Walking in, you take in the organised, clean and silent infirmary. No one is here to judge you. Just you. Strolling over to the desk, place the sign near your laptop, you sit down, leaning back into the chair and placed your feet near the edge of the desk. Tilting your head back, sinking into the silence.

The silence was broken as Captain Price waltzed in with an injured soldier on his back crying "My ankle" and "It's broken"

You quickly sit up and walk over to Price. Doctor mode activated.

"What happened?" You ask abruptly helping the marine over to the med bed with Price. You head over to the sink in the bathroom, wash and dry you hands and then grabbed a pair of gloves as Price struggled to lie the marine 's back down on the bed.

"Michaels here landed badly on his ankle when climbing over the climbing wall" Snapping the gloves on, you flex your fingers and then head to the ankle.

"It's broken" Michaels continues to whine.

Your patience already wearing thin, you gave him a stern look as he wailed at the other end of the bed. Price was trying to calm him down, but nearly snorted with laughter as he saw your face of disgust.

"If it was broken you wouldn't be able to wiggle your foot as much as you are right now" You huffed. Gently pressing the area, examining it. It was swollen.

Need ice, but could also maybe a hairline fracture... You think

Applying slight pressure to one area on the inner ankle Michaels lets out a loud yelp. You look up to Price.

"Going to call RAMC to come over and take you for an X-ray" You say aloud. Price nodded.

Michaels whined even louder.

"Calm down lad" Price shouted, Michaels stopped and looked teary eyed at Price.

Heading over to the phone you call the folks over at RAMC. To be honest you were at a lost all of a sudden. You hadn't dealt with broken feet in years, and you went over the basics in your head:

Blood, no. Visible deformity, no. Bruising of the skin, yes slightly... He was able to move his foot. But you had to be sure. X-ray to be sure.

Once off the phone, you headed over to Michaels, grabbing and crushing an instant ice-pack, then placed it on his ankle, keeping the leg elevated. Going over the basics again.

You felt your heart rate getting high, a slight tremble in your hand.

Pull it together you thought to yourself, burrowing your brows further and shaking your head. Price now seated next to Michaels watching over you.

Fifteen minutes later two medics arrive with a wheelchair to the infirmary, you help Price as he gets Michaels into the wheelchair, the ice pack dropped, and you bend down and grab it, placing it back on his ankle, securing it with a bit of medical tape.

"Thank you" you say to the two medics "Please keep me updated" you add, they nod back at you and Price and walked out.

"Cheers Blue" Price says "That was eventful" he adds chuckling slightly.

"Yeah" you sigh. "Just had to be sure, wasn't sure if it was a hairline fracture..." you mumble

"Your call Blue" Price says affirmingly and giving you a smile

You weakly smile back. Brows were still furrowed.

"Other than that, how was your day Captain?" You ask Price, trying to swiftly break the tension that loomed.

"Good!" He said exhaling deeply, trying to ignore the abysmal conversation he had with Ghost earlier. "Next task is to locate Soap!" He chuckles, shaking his head.

"Yes, Gaz said he was lurking round his sink, feeling the effects of last night" You say, slightly laughing.

"About last night.." Price begins, stepping towards you, eyes now full of concern and caution.

"Don't worry about it Captain, told you sambuca was vile." You say slyly.

"He's a boisterous lad, and it was amusing to see his drunken self"

"Yeah..." You drifted off, not making any eye contact with him.

Price takes in your dejected face. Something, perhaps someone, is bothering you.

"I believe its time for lunch, let's go grab some Blue" He says, gesturing you out the door.

Both of you leave the infirmary, at was 12:30pm, and you had breakfast at 7am.

Of course you're feeling low! Lack of sugar idiot You think, scolding yourself as you lock the infirmary and sticking up the OUT OF OFFICE sign again.

"Let's check on Soap first" Price says looking at you. You nod back following his lead.

Price leads the way as you both walk towards the door of Soap's bedroom. After knocking several times, there was no answer.

"I hope he hasn't choked on his own vomit" Price sighs, then turns to look at you. You raise your eyebrows at him

"Do you have a master key?" You ask

"No, I do not" Price replied sighing again.

Price banged one more time, the door shook.

"Soap, open up" Price said aloud.

Still no answer.

"Perhaps he's in the mess hall getting food?" You suggest

"Perhaps" Price says, looking at you and then back at the door to Soap's room. "Let's go then" Price added

You follow his lead as you both make your way down to the mess hall. It was busy, with it being lunch. You watch and follow Price, he made his way through the mess hall, soldiers making room for him and veering off from their paths that Price was heading down, stopping to nod and say hello to Captain Price, you watch from behind him, he nods his head to soldiers that say hello to him.

Near the end of the mess hall, you spot Gaz and a very hungover Soap, who was holding and nursing his head with his hands, scratching the back of his mohawk with his fingers. Price spots them, as makes his way over, looking over his right shoulder making sure you are still behind him.

Price heads over to Soap, and leans down next to him

"How's the head today?" Price whispers in his left ear, chuckling slightly.

Gaz laughs. Soap lifts his head up and groans.

"Awful" He moans "Didn't realise I would be feeling this bad" He added

Price sits down next to Soap, you go round the table sitting opposite Gaz, Soap and Price.

"Have you drunk enough water today?" You ask

"Aye" Soap says groaning, making eye contact with you.

"Taken any medicine?" You ask

"Aye, took some paracetamol about an hour ago" Soap responded

"Must keep drinking water, your brain is dehydrated" You say to him

Soap nods along, returning his head in his hands. Gaz snickered as he continued to eat his food.

"Blue, you want the lasagna?" Price asked

"Er, yeah, I'll come with" You say getting up

"Don't worry, I've got it for you" Price said smiling and gave you a wink.

"Thank you sir"

You sit back in the chair. Leaning your head back and staring at the ceiling.

Ghost walked into the mess hall. He had already eaten in the private kitchenette the 141 had next to Price's office. It was only ever him or Price that would use it. Gaz and Soap said they preferred the hustle and bustle of the mess hall. But he later found out that Price had banned them after they had once made a mess and damaged Price's expensive coffee machine.

He saw Price in the queue for getting food and went over to him.

"How's Michaels?" He asked

Price turned to look at him.

"He'll live. Blue thinks he may have a hairline fracture so was sent over to RAMC for an X-ray"

Ghost nods

"Seen Soap yet?" Ghost asks

Price chuckles

"Yeah, muppet is nursing a bag hangover" Price says, gesturing with his head to the back of the mess hall.

Ghost turned his head and spotted Gaz, Soap and you. You were shaking your head at Soap as he was running his hands over his head.

"Here, grab a tray for me" Price told Ghost

"Already ate Price" Ghost responded who now was a part of the queue to grab lunch as soldiers queued up behind him.

"For me you muppet. I'm getting Blue her food" Price said rolling his eyes as he passed a tray over to Ghost and grabbed another for himself.

"Why?" Ghost asked

"Something is up with her..." Price says slowly as he continues to stare at the food that was in front of him.

"Do you know what?"

"Maybe it's because you haven't told her who you are yet?" Price says, looking back at Ghost with a smirk.

Ghost was taken aback.

"Did you tell her?" Ghost questioned

"I told you, I'm not going to do it. You need to." Price chuckled.

Ghost looked over at the table where you sat with Gaz and Soap. Your head leaning back, eyes closed. Price was right, even from afar, you seemed on edge.

"Do you think it's what Soap said last night?" Ghost asked

Price moved along as the queue moved, Ghost followed, still holding the tray.

"Not sure." Price answered.

"What can I get you?" The staff member asked behind the food counter.

"Two lasagna's please, one with chips" Price said

Ghost grabbed the plate with the chips and placed it on the tray. He followed Price over to the fridge and took the bottle of water that was handed to him. He then made his way to the table where the other three were.

"Here you go Blue" Price said as he set the tray with the lasagna down in front of you and placing the water upright on the tray.

"Thank you very much sir" You say, giving him a slight smile, but brows still furrowed.

Price sat next to you, and Ghost joined, giving Price his tray. He sat by Soap, he looked at you. You were staring at your lasagna, not happy clearly. Something, or even someone had pissed you off.

"How's the head Johnny?" Ghost asked turning his attention to him.

"Awful Lt." Soap responded.

"You need to drink water, haven't seen you take a sip since I got here" You say, cutting up your lasagna, not making any eye contact.

"Aye, I'll grab some" Soap says, getting up and moving to the water tank behind them and grabbing a cup of water.

You look up and watch Soap drink the water, he refilled it and took another gulp. In the corner of your eye you see Dr Jones storm into the mess hall, your eyes met his, he marched over to you. Soap walked over back to the table and sat back down.

"Great" you muttered. Price looked at you whilst he took a bite of lunch, and then looked in the same direction you were looking at.

"Dr Kaur!" Dr Jones yelled

Gaz, Soap, and Ghost turned their heads to the direction of where that yell came from.

"Do you really think it is appropriate to send off an injured marine with just a sprain to us?" Dr Jones squealed "Not only are your skills in surgery lacking, but also in treating simple ailments" he hissed.

Dr Jones was now right beside you, still wearing the same blue scrubs, similar to yours, as he towered over you.

The blood coursing through you was boiling, you felt like every nerve was sizzling with anger. Taking a deep breathe in through the nose, holding for four... You get up and stand face to face with Dr Jones. Exhaling for four.

Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz looked on at you. The contempt and hate seeping out of your eyes.

"I do not currently have an X-ray machine in the infirmary." You begin, voice steady, calm, yet with sly undertone of spite. "The patient jumped over and landed poorly from a 8ft climbing wall. The damage of that impact could've been fatal" You added, your eyes piercing into his.

The chatter in the mess hall died down slightly, soldiers began averting their gaze from their food to the confrontation occurring before them.

Price looked on at you, impressed with your calm yet calculated demeanour. A smirk appeared across his face, continued to watch you, he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned slightly back to carry one watching.

Dr Jones stared back at you, stunned, you could've sworn his bottom lip quivered slightly.

"Additionally, I am a liaison doctor for the RAMC, my commanding officer is Captain Price, and he also agreed with my decision to send off the patient to you." You continued

Dr Jones mouth was open. Eyes still wide.

"I er.." He started, stumbling over his words

"Yes, it may have just been a sprain, however, there is no harm in double checking. After all, is it not the duty of the Royal Army Medical Corps to assist in any injury that any soldier gets?" You ask

"We- Well yes." Dr Jones stammers, the tips of his ears turning red, he looks around him and sees that all eyes in the mess hall are on him as well as you.

Ghost continued to look at you, your stern face locked in as you dragged Dr Jones. Your eyes still piercing the man whose face was turning red like a tomato.

"Good. Do not ever underestimate my decisions as a doctor unless you have a valid reason to. My skills in surgery are not lacking, just because I have a preferred method of stitching does not make me any less capable than you." You say bluntly. "That is all I have to say on the matter." You add.

You give him one final glare, ensuring he took the message in and sit back down to savour and enjoy the rest of your lunch.

Dr Jones began to retreat until Price spoke

"I believe you owe Dr Kaur an apology Dr Jones" Price said now looking at Dr Jones with a look of disdain.

"My apologies doctor" Dr Jones said through gritted teeth, his face now fully red.

You look back up to Dr Jones and nod back at him and then turn back to your food. Dr Jones walked off, the eyes of the mess hall trailing him as he left the door. The chatter began to increase after witnessing the alteration between the two doctors.

"Steamin' Jesus Doc" Soap says breaking the silence of the table. "That look in your eyes nearly took me out" He added laughing.

You look up briefly at him, smirking and then shrugged your shoulders.

"Honestly thought you would knock 'im out" Price exclaimed

"Not a chance" You scoffed

The anger with in you still stirred, you honestly did feel like punching him. You wanted to beat the living shit out of him. But you couldn't do that. You couldn't fuck up again. Aimlessly prodding at your half-eaten lasagna your appetite was now lost. The grip on the fork was strong, you just wanted to stab something. Or somone.

"It was impressive how you handled him Hari" Gaz said, after he took a sip of his water.

"Aye, do not want to ever piss you off" Soap says chuckling, looking at you and then to Gaz.

You look up, face still stern, eyes narrowed. You run your tongue over your teeth.

"Not only are your skills in surgery lacking, but also in treating simple ailments"

That comment rang through your head the loudest.

"You turned 'im into a blushing bride" Soap said, reaching his left arm over and tapping your on the shoulder. You look up at Soap not smiling.

Soap felt a tinge of embarrassment strike him as you gave him that same look. Before he could say anything you got up.

"I'm heading off to the training room" You say bluntly, eyes still cold. "Page me if you need anything" You add, looking at Price

Price nods at you.

"Shit, what did I do?" Soap asked as he watched you walk away.

Price and Gaz chuckle, Ghost looked at Soap and then towards you as you emptied your tray and left the mess hall.

"Clearly you don't remember last night" Ghost said

"What happened last night?!" Soap exclaimed turning to Price and Gaz.

Gaz and Price filled Soap in with the events of last night. The drunk comments he made. Soap turned red as Gaz kept going on about how he asked if you had a fella back home, and was literally sobbing at the fact you had a female ex lover.

"And you got my jacket wet" Ghost added

"Ah Jesus" Soap exclaimed, burying his flushed head in his hands.

Price's phone rang, he picked up it.

"Hello" He said

"I honestly do not remember that." Soap said "You don't think she thinks I'm like... homophobic...?" Soap whispered to Gaz

"Unlikely mate" Gaz said, patting Soap on the shoulder.

"Right, I'll send Ghost over" Price said and hung up.

Ghost looked over to Price, concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Ghost asks.

"Nothing. Blue wants to use the training room, and needs a CO to sign out the guns and needs supervision" Price said

Ghost sighed. Why him? This would make icing her out even harder.

"I'm on lunch, and seeing as though you already ate, you can go and supervise" Price said, as though he could read his mind.

"Yes sir" Ghost said, he got up and left the mess hall.

He made his way out of Building 2 and down the the training ground.

Being in close proximity to you, making it harder to avoid you. 'Specially since you were their doctor. Ghost thought.

Ηe walked in, and saw you standing by the reception area tapping your foot against the hardwood floor. You had changed out of your blue scrubs, and wore black fatigues and baggy black top that was tucked in paired with black combat boots. Your hair still in two french braids.

"Lieutenant" You say nodding your head

"Doc" He said, giving you a slight nod back.

"She wants to use training course, but she's not active duty." The man behind reception said to Ghost.

"Doc is part of the 141, so she's allowed to use the trainin' course" Ghost responded bluntly.

"Has she handled a weapon before?" The man asked Ghost

"She has." You answer

Ghost smirked under his mask as he grabbed a pen on the desk and moved towards the man behind the counter. He turned towards you.

"What course you wanna run?" He asks

"Target course 4. Two USP pistols and a knife, serrated is preferred." You say without hesitation.

Ghost raises a brow, he was slightly impressed.

"You heard her" Ghost said, turning back.

The man handed Ghost a form to sign as he went out back to retrieve the weapons. He looked over at you, you remained stoic, staring at Ghost.

"Goin' to have to supervise you." He said "That alrigh'" He asked

"Of course sir" You say

"Need you to sign here Doc" Ghost said, handing you the pen. You walk over to Ghost and take the pen and scribble your name. Ghost looked down as you signed your name: Dr Hari Kaur

The man came back with your weapons, 6 magazines and a magazine holder.

"These are live ammunitions" He said

"I know" You said "I also need a two gun holster with a belt, along with one for a knife please" You say

The man looks at you bewildered. He then looks at Ghost, who stared right back at him. He returned to the store room.

"You know what to do?" Ghost asks

"Yes sir" You say.

Ghost observed you as you inspected the pistols.

"Still allowed to play music?" You ask Ghost turning to look at him.

"Can do. What you wanna listen to?" Ghost asks

"Du Hast, Rammstein" You say and Ghost nodded.

The man returned with your holsters. Ghost watched as you looped the belt with the magazine holder through the hoops of your trousers and then attached the holsters, placing the guns in them. The knife holster was then attached to the back of the belt, you slid the knife in. Ghost handed you safety goggles and ear plugs. You took them and put them on.

"Ready?"

"Ready sir" You say

"Doc has requested music, I'll come back once I've shown her the course and will be in the box" Ghost said to the man who nodded his head as he signed off the form.

Ghost walked off and you followed behind. He opened the door to the course and stood by the door.

"Targets will pop up as you approach, knife 'em or shoot 'em, your choice, but remember, you are dealin' with live ammo, so be careful" He says "Check your corners" He adds.

"Yes sir" You say, eyeing the course, mapping out possible routes in your head. It has been years, but here's hoping that you still take these targets down.

"I'll start the music and let you know when to go, I'll be watchin' from the box" Ghost said as he points up to the little box overlooking the course. You follow where is finger is pointing.

"Thank you sir" You say returning your gaze to the course.

Ghost made his way up the stairs to the box where another soldier was.

"Lieutenant" He said getting up and saluting.

"At ease" He gruffs.

He walks over the control panel, and takes his phone out, loading up the song you wanted and grabbed the aux cord, connecting it to the phone.

He watches you, you look up at him in the box. He nods his head and you nod back and turned away, grabbing the knife from your holster and closed your eyes, rolling your neck around, inhaling through your nose and out your mouth. You got into your stance, feet planted in the ground firmly.

Ghost presses the mic button, his voice boomed over the Tannoy system. The soldier flinched but you didn't.

"Ready in 3, 2, 1" He said and pressed play. He watched eagerly as you walked quickly into the course.

The loud music boomed over the speakers. The first target popped up on your left, you knifed it with great force.

From the holster you take out the left pistol and clicking it, turning round to the right, two targets pop up.

*BANG* *BANG* You shoot them down. You crouch down, checking the corners and above you. You get up and two targets come towards you, you run towards them, shooting one and knifing the other.

Ghost continued to look down, his arms across his chest, nodding his head slightly to the music, he watched as you took down the targets, checking corners and doing a press check on your pistol.

Good He thought to himself.

You got up, and then jumped over a block, a target came up and you slid across the ground, taking a shot. Returning the knife to the holster, you grab your other gun, clicking it. Three targets come up, one running straight towards you, with both pistols in hand you shoot them down. Finding cover, you check your ammo. Eight rounds in your left and fourteen in your right pistol.

Getting back up, you crouch down walking around the obstacles, three targets pop up, you shoot them down as soon as they appeared.

"She's good" The soldier said in the box with Ghost.

"Hmm" Ghost said, keeping his eyes focused on you. You placed both guns back in the holster, taking your knife out. He watched on as you ran up to a target and knifed it, another target popped up behind you and he saw you take out your left pistol shooting it. Walking forwards, three more targets pop and and you shoot and knife them down.

You were approaching the end of the course, the song stopped, but you carried on. Ghost quickly picked up his phone and played another song by Rammstein, Sonne.

He watched as you shot down more targets, you had returned your knife to its holster and were now reloading the magazine in your left pistol. You approached the last four targets with both pistols drawn, and ran towards them shooting them down, your face scrunched up in anger and determination as you took another two shots at the target that wouldn't go down. You had finished the course.

Ghost stopped the music and pressed the mic button.

"Good practise, I'll meet you there" He says, you look up and nod, unloading the pistols.

Ghost walked down, and you walked towards him. You seemed more relaxed, brows no longer furrowed.

"Feeling better?" He asked

You smirk at him

"Much better" You respond

Both of you walk back over to reception. You hand in the full magazines.

"Grab the cleaning gear for us" Ghost said to the man. He nods and heads into the storeroom again.

"You remember how to clean a gun?" He asked you.

"Somewhat" You reply

"I'll show you, hand me one of your pistols" He said, raising his left hand out towards you.

You double check the gun is empty, opening the chamber, looking down the barrel, and then handed it to Ghost. He was taken aback.

"Well done, most recruits don't even check that" Ghost said.

You smile at him.

"My old sergeant taught me well. He would've probably shot me if I gave a gun to him with a round still in it." You say staring right at Ghost, smirking slightly.

Ghost felt a cold wave go through his body. Your old sergeant... You meant him He thought

Ghost cleared his throat "Good that you remembered"

You smile back him, staring right at him in those blue eyes.

The man brought the cleaning kit out and Ghost took ahold of it.

"Let's go to the garage" He said. You followed him, he held the door open for you and gestured you to walk ahead.

Surely she can't know. He pondered. Price wouldn't have told her, Soap couldn't of. No one else on base knew who he really was.

Both entering the garage, Ghost went over to an empty table. You sat down, looking at him still.

Ghost took a seat opposite you, he began to explain the correct way of cleaning a gun, you follow each of his commands, watching what he was doing, from disassembling the pistol, lubricating the action part and then to reassembling the pistol.

He watched as you followed his instructions.

"He would've probably shot me if I gave a gun to him with a round still in it."

Ghost smirked under his mask at what you said. It was slightly true. He knew he would've said something sarcastic back then to them.

He wondered if you knew it was him sitting right in front of him... He could just do it right now though. Rip his mask off and say "Surprise, it's me again" but he couldn't.

The garage door opened both Ghost and you looked up, Price walked in and headed in their direction.

"How was it?" He asked as he stood near you.

"Good" You say

Price turned to Ghost "What was her time?"

"5 minutes 48 seconds. She did very well." Ghost said looking at you, he watches as you smile, continuing to clean your gun.

"Not bad" Price said nodding his head. "Might have to speak to Laswell and see if we can get you active duty status"

You look up, a glee took over your face

"Really?!" You say smiling wildly

Ghost looked cautiously at Price and then at you. What is he thinking?

"Yeah" Price said

"She's not SAS." Ghost said sharply. You turn to look at Ghost, the smile disappearing.

"Women are now allowed to join aren't they?" You retort looking at Price and then at Ghost

"They are yes" Price said looking wearily at Ghost and then back at you.

"No." Ghost said bluntly. I cannot have you in the field. On missions.

"Why?" You say, eyes now focusing on Ghost.

Ghost looked at you. Eyebrows furrowed again, watching him, awaiting his reason.

"You'd be a liability" He said, the lump was forming in his throat again. Maybe this way was the way to ice you out he thought

You scoff.

"Liability?" You questioned

"Ghost-" Price started

"I am not having her in the field with us." Ghost said standing up facing Price.

"It was a suggestion Ghost, nothing set in stone." Price said, raising his voice slightly.

"She's our doctor, she patches us up, not a part of the team" Ghost said bluntly turning to look at you.

You were astonished. 2 minutes ago, everything was fine. You thought you were getting on well with your lieutenant. Clearly not.

Getting up from the chair, you pack up the cleaning kit

"Blue, listen-" Price began

"I believe it's Dr Kaur. After all I'm only here to patch you all up." You spit, not taking your eyes off Ghost, giving him the same piercing look you gave Dr Jones. Ghost felt a sharpness hit him in the chest. Grabbing the two pistols and cleaning kit you leave the two men behind whilst Price glared at Ghost. The door of the garage slamming shut.

"You really had to ruin it" Price said to Ghost

"I am not having her out there with us." Ghost said through his gritted teeth.

"You need push aside any feelings for her Simon" Price said, using his real name this time edging closer to him.

"I don't have any feelings for her" Ghost lied. Worry and anger coursing through him

"Simon. It was a mere suggestion." Price said.

"It was a bad suggestion" Ghost hissed and walked away from Price and out of the garage.

How the hell could he suggest such a stupid thing? I cannot have her out there with us on these dangerous missions. Ghost thought.

He knew he couldn't lose you. He knew you were a good soldier, but he couldn't have you out there with them. He wanted to keep you away from the horrors. He had to protect you. He couldn't let the same thing that happened in Siberia happen again.

#simon ghost riley x medic #modern warfare fanfiction #simon ghost riley x doctor #simon ghost riley #cod fanfic #fan fic ideas #simon riley #simon ghost riley x female oc #simon ghost riley x original character #modern warfare ghost #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 #mw2 x reader #simon ghost riley x south asian OC

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somediyprojects · 7 months

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DIY Rag Pillows

Project by Anneli Martin:

this fun project comes from d*s reader anneli martin of bird and lard. anneli had an old bed linen and a duvet cover that she didn’t want to throw away, so she cut them into one inch strips and crocheted these two giant floor pillows. i think the result is fantastic, and definitely a great way to spend a cold winter day indoors.

Anneli’s Rag Pillows

Materials:

-1 old cotton bed sheet or a fitted sheet -1 10mm crochet needle -Scissors -Matching fabric for the pillow -Sewing machine -Stuffing -Matching thread -Needle

Step 1 – Cutting

Step 2 – Crocheting the circle

Step 3 – Sewing the “Under pillow”

Step 4 – Stitching the crocheted pillow to the under pillow.

Old bed sheets are the best materials for this project because multiple washing makes the fibers more durable and resistant to tear since it will have raw edges.

Start cutting the sheet in a circular pattern. You want a continuous ribbon and no sharp corners. Strip should be a little less than one inch wide.

Once your sheet is transformed into a giant yarn ball, you can start crocheting.

To make a flat circle you need to increase each round. I don’t use a formula, I just increase as I go but this link can be useful for some tips.

http://crochet.about.com/b/2008/02/26/easy-crocheted-circle-instructions.htm

You want the center to be pretty solid so don’t make the first chain too long, 3 link stitches should be enough to close the circle and start going around. I used the basic single stitch to keep it tight.

Crocheting will take very little time when using such thick material and a large needle.

One bed sheet will make about 30 inch circle.

Use your crocheted circle to measure the fabric you picked to match the top .

Cut two circles of fabric that are about ½” inches larger than the finished project.

Sew the front and back of the pillow together with the right sides of the fabric facing each other, leaving a 4 inch section open.

Turn the pillow in-side-out through the hole. Use your hands to gently pull the fabric through the hole.

Stuff with generous amounts of fiberfill. Fill until the pillow is as puffy as you desire.

Sew the hole closed using a needle and thread.

Finally hand stitch the crocheted top to your pillow around the edge.

#diy #crafts #home decor #x

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imhonestlyjustsoconfused · 8 months

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I just need to let the final layer of sealer/finish dry and then I can finally glue the text block in

Here's a photo of the text block (It's 2 inches thick (5cm), I had the individually hand sew every 4 pages together (That's 308 stitches) :3)

So far I know I've spent probably 25 to 30 hours altogether (over the span of a few weeks) working on this so far

This was an extremely time-consuming and difficult project mostly because of my lack of knowledge, I've never binded a book in my life before this. It's been so fun learning and also extremely tedious. I am unbelievably proud of how this is turning out and very excited to see the final product :))

@azrielgreen is the author of this wonderful story that made me want to learn how to bind books. The title is You're Divine by Oonionchiver on ao3. It fucked me up so much that I cannot lose this novel, if the Internet goes down in flames and electricity ceases to exist, I'll at least have the physical copy of this novel in my library.

#i speak #I think the process of binding this book and putting it together is taking longer than it took me to actually read it #you're divine

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sweaterkittensahoy · 1 year

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Vintage Pattern Terminology Update: Knee Warmer (AKA Crochet Knee Cap)

(I will be releasing this as a free PDF pattern on my Ravelry page in a week or so. But I got the overall rewrite done already, so here you go!)

First published in Priscilla Wool Crochet Book 1908, revised 1912; edited by Lola Burch Hetitch; Within Public Domain in the United States

Supplies:

3.50 mm hook

Stitch markers

Scissors

Tapestry needle

3 ounces of 4-ply wool -- fingering weight (3 ounces equals just over 85 grams)

Note: While the original pattern calls for 100% wool, a wool blend with nylon or other secondary, stretchy fiber would also work. For tester pieces, Cascade 220 Fingering (100% Wool) and Knitpicks Chroma (70% Superwash Wool / 30% Nylon) were used. Items came out very similar.

Stitches:

Chain

Back Loop Only Single Crochet (BLO SC)

Front Loop Only Single Crochet (FLO SC)

Sizing:

Knee Cap laid flat before wearing: 4”

Knee Cap as designed fits up to a 14” knee circumference and a 16” thigh.

For a larger kneecap/thigh, add 2 rows to the first six rows, 2 rows to the middle six rows, and 2 rows to the final six rows per inch you would like to add.

Pattern:

Work 42 chains loosely

Row 1: Skip first chain. SC 41. Chain 1. Turn.

Row 2: BLO SC in all stitches in previous row. 41 BLO SC. Chain 1. Turn.

Row 3-6: Repeat row 2

Row 7: BLO SC in first 20 stitches. In FLO of next stitch, complete 3 FLO SC. Place a stitch marker in the second FLO SC and move it into the corresponding stitch throughout the pattern. 20 BLO sc to end. Chain 1. Turn.

Row 8: BLO SC in first 20 stitches. FLO SC in the next 3 stitches. BLO SC in following 20 stitches. Chain 1. Turn.

Row 9: BLO SC in first 20 stitches. FLO SC in next stitch. Work 3 FLO SC in the following stitch. FLO SC in next stitch. BLO SC in next 20 stitches. Chain 1. Turn.

Row 10: BLO SC in first 20 stitches. FLO SC in the FLO SC stitches of the previous row. BLO SC in next 20 stitches. Chain 1. Turn.

Rows 11-25: Repeat rows 9 and 10 until you have 21 FLO SC stitches (Row 25)

Rows 26-31: work even, working 20 BLO SC, 21 FLO SC, and 20 BLO SC. End each row with a Chain 1. Turn.

Row 32: Work 20 BLO. Skip the first FLO SC stitch. FLO SC in next 20 stitches. 20 BLO SC to end. Chain 1. Turn.

Rows 33-51: Repeat 32nd row 19 times. You will skip a FLO SC each row until you are back to the original 41 stitches at the end of the 51st row.

Rows 52-57: Work even in BLO SC. Chain 1 and turn at the end of each row. Fasten off at the end of row 57.

Seam the two long sides together. Use a tapestry needle to weave in the ends.

#crochet #crochet pattern #vintage crochet pattern #antique crochet #vintage crochet #knee warmers #stay cozy!#free crochet pattern #crocheters of tumblr

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livingmeatloaf · 1 year

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Tumblr sweatpants review

8/10 overall rating

Price: $55

Image ID: black Tumblr sweatpants laid flat on a beige carpet.

Measurements

First things first: the measurements on the size chart are confusing and not super helpful. I got the 3XL (the largest size) to be safe and I'm very glad I did. This ended up being my size, though I usually can wear a 2XL in other brands. Here is a full breakdown of the pant measurements, so you can judge them for yourself. All are measured flat then doubled where applicable.

Waistband relaxed = 42 1/2in (108cm)

Waistband stretched = 52in (132 cm)

Hip = 53in (134.5cm)

Upper thigh (at crotch level) = 31 1/2in (80cm)

Calf (10 inches above bottom hem) = 17in (43cm)

Ankle = 14in (35.5cm)

Length along outseam = 46 1/2in (118cm)

Inseam = 31 1/1in (80cm)

Pocket depth = 11 3/4in (30cm) from waistband, roughly 3 1/4in (8cm) from bottom of the opening. Curved, so hard to measure.

The waistband has a bit of stretch thanks to the elastic in it, but not much. There is a functional drawstring to tighten. The material itself has minor stretch, maybe about as much as a cotton t-shirt. The ankle cuff seam has *zero* stretch. The legs are tapered in a fairly slim cut.

The legs ended up being too long for me, so I'll have to roll up the cuffs or recuff them entirely.

The sizing chart at the time of my ordering listed the waist measurement of the 3XL at 21 1/4 and the inseam at 30 3/4. There was no indication if that waist measurement was flat, doubled, anything.

Material, Construction, and Comfort

There are no material content, washing instructions, or manufacturer origin tags inside the pants. The site lists the material as "7.8-ounce, 50/50 cotton/poly fleece, Elastic, self-fabric waistband and self-fabric cuffs." This matches what I see without doing a burn test. The outer material has a smooth, slightly ribbed finish that does look and feel like a heavier t-shirt material. The inside is a fluffy poly fleece.

All seams are fully sealed in surge stitching, with a few trailing tails at joins. The drawstring is a woven flat cord. The elastic is 1 1/2in flat elastic, stitched down on top and bottom. The elastic and drawstring are both anchored at the center back, so the drawstring is not continuous and cannot be pulled out. Both are contained within the channel of the waistband, so no elastic pressing directly to the skin.

The tumblr logo is screenprinted on the left leg. It is warm and flexible, so I believe it will serve my sweatpantsy needs. I have not yet washed them, so I cannot say how they'll hold up over time.

As long as you get the right size, there should be plenty of ease for movement. If you want a more relaxed fit, maybe go a size up so long as the size range allows you to.

Overall, I'm pleased with these and do no regret buying them. The pockets are nice and deep, the pants are comfy, and they'll keep my legs warm. The quality and construction are pretty good; if you told me these were from a mid-tier department store like JcPenney or Kohls, or that they were from an athletics brand, I would believe you. I think this is reflected in the price. I'm not a huge fan of tapered legs and the pants only just fit comfortably where I prefer a much more relaxed fit.

I would love if Tumblr offered other styles and they should definitely talk to their manufacturer about increasing the size range into truly plus sized options, as I consider myself on the lower end of plus size and only fit their largest size.

@staff Please put the option for reviews on your shop page!

#Tumblr #Tumblr merch #Review #Tumblr sweatpants review #Tumblr merch review #This is my hellsite and I'll support it with my real money #As Seen On Tumblr

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femshep-fatships · 7 months

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Code Redhead

[Shepard x OC]

The clarion call echoed throughout the citadel.

"Baby, orb of my life, my big blue world. I love you. I will always love you. Nothing I want better than to ride your whale sized tibby and hump it till I cum, stuffing your face with Bon Bons tonight. I know I promised you I'd take the night off..." Annabelle cupped the massive watermellon sized blue head of Liara T'soni. "But right now the Commander is throwing shapes in the church of dance, and with all that blubber and her terrible coordination she's threatening to crush its grooviest members! If she has one more drink. Those thighs could end lives. I gotta go..."

Liara, 30 ft around and 25 ft tall, a perfect, monolithic orb of an Asari, could do little but nod her chubby face.

A dramatic suit up montages ensues. As 5 foot 4 inch Annabelle Heidel ties her ginger and gold locks into a big bun and tucks them through the back of her all black baseball cap. The letters IMU emblazoned over her forehead in an official FBI font white stitch.

Buttshot of her perky, toned booty bouncing in one of Miranda's old Cerberus catsuits. (Dang them squats are workin for her!)

Click of her belt fastened around her waist with a jiggle of little titty she pins her official IMU badge to her suit. BACK SHOT: Tucking one arm then the other through her harness, with climbing rope, climbing clips, a walkie talkie, and an emergency pouch of twinkies (or zebra cakes if necessary) With the soft clatter of hard sugar against teeth, Annie stuffs a root beer Dum Dum in her teeth and bites it , a look of pure determination on her face. She taps the bridge of her sunglasses pushing them firmer onto her face. "My Love...please...Shepard is my friend." Liara calls, unable to see her girlfriend past her own vast fatness. "...Don't let her hurt herself." Annie gives the giant blue Mountain a thumbs up, and marches out the door in slow motion...

"Shepard?" Annabelle, IMU agent of Cerberus, wrangler of fatties, entered the pit. The thunder of music booming loudly, the red glow of mood lights still flashing. Buffets in dissaray. "Commander?" She found the commander. Hard to miss her, she was fat as hell. Shepard was gone, lost to the music and the booze sloshing in her belly (Along with the 8 pizzas 5 pies, 27 packs of beer nuts.) "Commander? (Wow. You really can't dance.) Commander could you...please we're worried you. COMMANDER? CAN YOU HEAR ME? COMMANDER!" Annie began shouting as Shepard planted her big fat booty on a 2 foot by 2 foot concrete pillar and began to "work" it Or the nearest Shepard aproximation of working it was. It was certainly working for Annie as she was turning pink at the very sight of that big tummy, and soft ass rubbing against the pillar. Shepard winked drunkenly and beckoned. Never mind. She looked like a bear trying to scratch it's ass. "Sh-shepard. SHEPARD. COMMANDER KATE SHEPARD, MA'AM PLEASE. STOP GRINDING ON THE SUPPORT BEAM. IT IS CRITICAL TO THE STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF THIS BAR. SHEPARD I REQUEST THAT YOU CEASE THROWING IT BACK AND COME WITH ME. I WILL GET YOU TO A SAFE COMFY BED. SHEPARD? SHEP-SHEPARD! NO MA'AM I AM IN A COMMITED RELATIONSHIP AND WOULD...COMMANDER I INSIST YOU DO NOT GIVE ME A LAP DA-MMFFFPP!!!~" Annie's radio crackled. Her lower body sandwhiched between the big heart shaped mounds in a tight red dress squashing her from the pelvis down. "Agent Heidel? How is she? Is the Commander Subdued?" Miranda's voice sounded worried. "Not to worry Boss, she's uh..sitting down. It's a step in the right direction." Shepard felt sleepy, slowly tipping back as the room swam, Annie looked up and for a half a second her heart beat faster, as she watched jiggly back rolls bulging out of a backless dress and soft red hair rushing at her like a falling tree. Squish. Pinned beneath the fat, suddenly snoring redhead, the Immobile Mobility Unit agent radiod her boss again her voice slightly grunting as she was now squimshed: "Shepard subdued Ma'am. Repeat Red Fox is down for the night. This milkshake will not be bringing anyone to the yard anymore tonight Boss." "Good. Stay ontop of her. That's a Cerberus VIP and war hero make damn sure you take good care of her." Miranda said gravely. Annie's entire short legs were wedged between Shepard's butt crack. Shepard's entire torso covering the small fatty spelunker. "Technically she'll be staying ontop of me tonight Ma'am. Tell Liara I'll see her in the morning."

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outsideratheart · 1 year

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I posted 1,835 times in 2022

That's 1,764 more posts than 2021!

1,667 posts created (91%)

168 posts reblogged (9%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@footygirl114

@cpheath

@putellas14

@outsideratheart

I tagged 1,307 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 1,090 posts

#woso x reader - 74 posts

#woso - 65 posts

#fcb femeni - 46 posts

#woso one shot - 42 posts

#woso imagine - 41 posts

#barcelona femeni - 36 posts

#espwnt x reader - 35 posts

#espwnt - 34 posts

#barcelona femeni x reader - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 49 characters

#you can always count on jenni to give the content

My Top Posts in 2022:

Eyes open (Leah Williamson x reader)

A/N: This could be one of the quickest fics i have ever written.

This was based of an Anon request but I cannot find it. Anon, I hope you like it.

In the 85th minute. The game was 2-0, the win was England’s but Canada refused to give up.

Leah stood on the edge of the box as Kelly sent the ball in from a corner. Everyone knew that your head was the target for corners so it came as no surprise that you are very heavily marked.

The ball hit its target but it also hit the cross bar. With the ball in the air going from head to head, Kadeisha Buchanan tries to clear it with a high kick and it just so happened that you jumped for a second header at the same time.

It’s as if it happened it slow motioned and Leah could do nothing but watch as the Canadian defender’s boot connects with your head and with force. You fall to the ground with a thud, there was no scream of pain and your body was limb as it fell.

“Y/N” Leah quickly ran to your side.

Lucy was kneeled beside you in a matter of seconds as she tried her best to keep you conscious. It was obvious from look in your eyes or more so the lack there of which told the defender the severity of your injury.

“Keira you need to keep her away” Lucy says.

Keira hated it but she knew Lucy was right. There was a huge laceration on your head and blood was flowing out fast.

“Leah, she is bleeding and you’re not good with blood. We can’t have you the two of you passed out”

“She’s unconscious?” Leah asks and although she didn’t think it possible, the panic within her grew tenfold.

“I’ll be ok. It’s Y/N. I need to see her”

Keira turns to to Lucy as if asking for permission. The defender takes her shirt off so that she can cover the wound then she nods her head. Whilst Leah rushes to your side, Keira shouts for the medics to hurry up.

“Y/N” Leah’s voice is barely a whisper. The way your eyes fail to focus on anything scares her. It’s like your body is there but your mind isn’t.

You can hear someone say your name and the voice is familiar but you can’t place it. You can hear people talking and you can feel something warm falling down your face but what you feel the most of the excruciating pain in your head.

“Something’s wrong” your eyes get heavy as the pain consumes you.

“What! No! Y/N keep your eyes open. Lucy what do I do?” Leah begins fearing the worse.

Lucy freezes. You are her best friend and as much as she wants to reassure your girlfriend she can’t. She is frozen in the spot as she looks down at you and her once white now red shirt.

“Y/N It’s Keira. I need you to keep your eyes open. Can you do that for me?”

You try to do as she asks but your eyelids are too heavy.

“Ke”

“Im here. Leah is too and Lucy. The whole team is here”

“It hurts” you try to move you hand to the source of the pain but it feels heavier than normal and then you realise that someone is holding it, that someone being Leah.

At this point the medics arrive and the team move so they can treat you but Leah, Lucy and Keira remain by your side.

When the medics ask Lucy to remove her shirt so they can access the wound Leah winces. The cut was about 4 inches long and it was deep. You would need stitches, no doubt about it.

“Keira try to keep her talking. She is going to be in a lot of pain” the medics ask.

You and Keira can talk about anything. It’s one of the reasons why you are so close. From serious topics to top ten pizza toppings, yet in this moment her mind is blank.

“It must be bad if you can’t think of anything” you use every ounce of energy to muster together a sentence.

See the full post

470 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Contract Negotiations (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: I went to this game, it was amazing! Also, I started writing this fic in Barcelona.

Throughout the season you have some pretty amazing games but no matter what, your favourite is always the last home game of the season.

This season that game is against Atletico Madrid making it that much better because you get to catch up with some of your closest friends who you don’t get to see that much during the season.

It is bitter sweet though because it is Melanie’s last game and you are 99% sure that it is Leila’s last game too. It could also be yours and Jenni’s last game at El Johan if Barca don’t stop dragging their feet with the contract extensions.

Barca is winning 2-1 and Aijbade is making a run towards the goal with you and Mapi not too far behind her. When you see Mapi slide in and miss the Atleti player you know exactly what you have to do. You are exhausted due to the heat and the physicality of the game but you put all of your energy into catching up with Aijbade before she gets into the box. You pull her shoulder back causing her to fall just in time and you have no arguments when the referee pulls out a red card.

Two minutes later you are back on the pitch celebrating the perfect season, 30 games and 30 wins. When you exit the tunnel you see a certain Ballon D’Or winner waiting for you.

“Fancy seeing you here” you say playfully as you bring her into a hug, holding her a little tighter as you both take in your surroundings. When you let go Alexia keeps her arms wrapped around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder as you put your arm around hers.

She watches you watch the crowd as they cheer and wave their flags. A few seconds in and you are lost in the moment, that is until Alexia nudges you.

“Don’t think about it” she says as if reading your mind.

When you turn to face her you see her looking at you.

You chuckle slightly “I didn’t say anything”

“When you weren’t saying anything very loudly”

You don’t respond, truth is you wouldn’t know what to say if you wanted to. This is something Alexia picks up on.

“Who would have thought” Lola says as her and Jenni walk towards the two of you “Alexia misses a penalty, well I save her penalty and Y/N Y/L/N gets a red card”

“It won’t happen again” Alexia says confidently and you can tell that she isn’t happy with herself for missing it.

When she turns to you she sees that Jenni’s head is buried in your neck. She sees Jenni’s body shake slightly making it clear that she is crying whilst you cover you mouth with your hand so no one can hear what you are saying to her.

You walk around the stadium with your team mates knowing for some of them it might be the last time and for some it definitely was. Looking around you wanted to say to thank you to every single person that had attended a game this season and you always wanted to say goodbye but you wasn’t sure if that was necessary, at least not yet.

As you get back towards the benches you and Mel get pulled for interviews. You go first, answering every question as well as you can without getting emotional. You and the team had just completed the perfect season and you wanted nothing more than to celebrate with them. As you hand back the microphone you hear the fans shouting your name.

“Y/N” “Y/N please will you sign this” “Y/N can I have a photo”

You hold up a finger “Uno minuto” you tell them as you listen to Mel give her last interview at El Johan. You notice one of the twins crying so you move behind the camera signalling your head to Itzel, mentally asking her if she wants you to take her daughter to which she nods her head. You quickly taking the small child from her.

Looking down at the baby and then at Mel who is holding the other twin you can’t help but feel jealous. You want what she has, you wanted to have a long career at Barcelona, have children with Alexia and have them with you at the games. You begin thinking of you future and how the next couple of days will either cement your future with Barca or it will flip your life upside down.

You go to the stands starting at the goal line to meet the fans with the aim to meet, sign and take photos with as many people as you can. You give your shirt to a young fan who created a sign asking for it. You then tell the fans thank you before running into the locker room to get the shirt you wore during the first half so you can give that one away too.

Alexia talks to her friends whilst watching you.

“She is making us look bad” Ana tells her.

Your girlfriend doesn’t face her team mate, instead choosing to keep her attention on you.

“She lives for this. No matter the game or the score, she always makes time for the fans”

Ana hums in agreement, she had watched you do this so many times though out the season.

“Ale” Mapi says “why does it feel like she is saying goodbye?”

Alexia looks at her national team mate, someone who you are very close with. She knows that you haven’t talked to anyone other than her about your future so she understands the uncertainty radiating from the defender.

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489 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

Never Stopped (Leah Williamson x reader)

A/N: So I started this on 20th April and I kept coming back to it every now and then but I was determined to finish it before the Euros so here it is and it could be one of my favourite fics i have written so far, also could be my longest at 6.7k words but i’m not sure. Anyways, I hope you guys like it!

Dubai is beautiful. You were skeptical when you were first told about your pre world cup training being held in a different time zone, to you it didn’t make sense but this is exactly what the team needed. It was a chance to get away from the pressure that mounted back in England and it gave the team the perfect opportunity to bond. A lot of the players saw each other frequently with most of them playing in the WSL but it was different for you and Lucy as you both played in France with Lyon.

You remember when you made the decision to leave Arsenal, you would go so far as to say it was the hardest one you have every made. You left the team that raised you, the people that you called family but most importantly it would mean you living over 580 miles away from your girlfriend.

Leah was your everything. You remember when she first joined the Arsenal senior team, it didn’t take long for you to fall for her and god did you fall hard, you put the cheesy rom coms to shame. Despite her being your girlfriend she was also your best friend but she wasn’t your only best friend. It was you, Leah and Jordan, you were dubbed the three amigos by your team mate Alex Scott.

The distance was thing that killed your relationship in the end. You thought it was worth it, you were willing to fight for your happiness but Leah couldn’t do it and it broke your heart, but what hurt more was that a couple of months later you found out she began seeing Jordan. It went from being the three of you to being the two and them, then you, all the way in France.

You are in the recovery room with Lucy scrolling aimlessly through twitter.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Lucy look up from her phone then back down then back at you. This sequence repeating itself a few more times but you lose your patience.

“What is it Lucy?” You ask your best friend.

The way she looked at you, you could tell that she was debating saying something.

“I’m just going to say it” Lucy pauses causing you to let out a small chuckle.

“Well you are doing a rubbish job at it” you say thinking of the irony.

“Leah and Jordan broke up” your body tenses at her words though it wasn’t a surprise, it was what Beth first said to you when you got to the hotel.

“Doesn’t change anything” you say bluntly before turning your attention back to your phone.

“Liar” Lucy whispers to herself but you hear her and deep down you know she isn’t completely wrong.

Considering your history, you and Leah still get along. It was difficult to talk about her when you broke up, let alone be in the same room together. After time you realised that you cannot spend your life avoiding Leah Williamson, truth is you didn’t want to. You and Leah both agreed that you wouldn’t let your past affect your future, that your lives would be a lot better with each other in it. Over time it got back to how it was before you started dating, you didn’t hate her anymore, you didn’t hate Jordan, you liked that your two best friends found happiness in each other even though it could hurt at times.

After a few weeks, the camp in Dubai ends and the team is the strongest it has ever been. The way you played on the pitch filled you with confidence going into the World Cup.

The flight from Dubai to France is 7 hours and no mater how hard you try you could not go to sleep so you settle with watching a film instead. You look up when you see Kiera grabbing her things making it known that she is moving seats which you found strange.

“I’m sorry” she mouthed before moving to her new seat thus adding to your confusion.

Things soon became clear when the person she switched with sits in her seat. That someone is Leah Williamson.

You can see her staring at you out of the corner of your eye. You ignore her hoping that she will go away. Although you two are good you still avoid been alone with her, even though technical you aren’t alone with her now but everyone was doing their own thing which mean’t it was like it was just the two of you.

You pause the film, taking you headphones off and turning to face the blonde.

“You look good, I mean I couldn’t keep my eyes of you when we were in Dubai, whether in was on the pitch or when we were at the beach” the flirtatiousness in her voice is clear but it didn’t have the effect on you Leah has hoped it would, instead it has the opposite.

You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you do so.

“You don’t get to say shit like that anymore” you whisper through gritted teeth.

Once upon a time you would have loved to hear Leah say that but things are different now.

“Why not?” Leah asks innocently “I’m not with Jordan anymore” you laugh her at blatancy.

“I know, the whole team knows. I don’t see why you think that would change anything”

“I just though that now that I’m single we could, you know” Leah stumbles on her words.

You shake your head in annoyance “Stop talking Leah” you tell her before putting your headphones back on and resuming your film.

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501 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

Dropping Hints (Christen Press x reader)

A/N: I had two requests so i put them together, in result we have this fic. Also, i didn’t know what simping was so i had to google it, it must be an american thing.

Anon request: 1:hi can you write one for christen press where the reader is famous and everybody is obsessed with her but they don’t know her and christen are dating. 2: Can you pls write a Christen press x reader where the reader is really famous (you can choose what she’s famous for) and the team is constantly simping over her but they don’t know the reader is dating christen ( you can pick how they found out)

Touring was one your favourite parts of your job. It was what everything led to, all of the writing sessions, hours in the studio and time away from your girlfriend.

Tonight was your first of two sell out shows at The Forum, the last two shows of your tour. Best of all you had sent your girlfriend tickets so that she and her friends could come watch.

“Happy Birthday Mal” Christen says as she hands her an envelope.

Everyone watches as Mal opens it, her reaction is priceless.

“Are these real? How did you get them?” Mal asks as she gets up and hugs Christen tightly.

“Yes, there real and let’s just say I know a guy” Christen says.

“Or a girl” Tobin whispers so that only Christen can hear her.

“Shut up. You’re just jealous that she likes my present better” Christen sticks her tongue out at her best friend.

“What is it Mal?”

“Yeah, show us”

Mal stands up and shows the team the Y/N Y/L/N VIP tickets.

You could only send a certain amount of tickets so you jokingly told Christen that her team mates would have to fight over them, little did you know that this is exactly what would happen.

You are one of the team’s favourite artists, it seems like every single player liked at least one of your songs. They would listen to you during workouts and in the locker room before and after games. You were a staple for the USWNT.

You had told Christen that the tickets were for anyone but her attendance was mandatory and you knew she would bring Tobin because she had been a keeper of your secret relationship since the moment is started.

After an hour of negotiations Christen texted you to tell you that it would be her, Tobin, Mal, Sam, Rose, Sonnett and Kelley that would coming to your concert.

You reply to her saying that you will be looking for her in the crowd and that you will see her after the concert.

***************************

You were sat backstage waiting for your manager to come and tell you it was go time. You were exhausted, your throat hurt and you missed your girlfriend, it wasn’t a good combination.

“Cheer up Y/N you will see her soon” Your manager sits next to you.

You don’t respond as you get a text from Christen. It was a selfie of her and the rest of the girls in their seats.

“Do you want to know where she is sat?” Your manager asks which gets your attention straight away. You nod your head.

Your manager tells you that they are sat to the left of your drummer.

“In all seriousness I do need you to cheer it, it’s showtime”

“You know me, always ready to put on a show”

You both walk to the stairs that lead up to the stage. She connects your in ears and hands you your microphone.

“Two more shows Y/N, I know it had been hard but I am so proud of you”

“Let’s go!” You shout and watch as your band walk out and you can hear the fans screaming. When you walk out the arena erupts.

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519 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

All Is Fair In Love and Football (Alex Morgan x reader)

A/N: Here’s a little Alex x Reader + Charlie fic that i had no intention of writing but it has been stuck in my head for a few a few days so i thought i would share it.

Angel City FC vs San Diego Wave

Captain vs Captain

Wife vs Wife

This is the fixture that you have been looking forward to since you and Alex decided to leave Orlando Pride and today is game day.

In the tunnel, you stand at the front ready to lead your team. When you turn to the right you see your wife who had the same job. You give her a quick wink, to which she shakes her head, before walking onto the the pitch.

As you stand in line you look into the crowd and you see your biggest fan, Charlie. This is her first game where she isn’t wearing a shirt with Morgan or Y/L/N on the back. You and Alex decided that Charlie would remain neutral when the two of you played each other.

You and Alex shake hands before taking your places on the pitch.

“Remember, she is our enemy today” Christen tells you.

“I hope you told Ali the same thing, she is the one who has to stop Alex” You say jokingly.

Truth is you love to play against Alex, no one pushes you more than she does. Now it actually means something, this isn’t a scrimmage at practice for the pride or national team, it is an NWSL game and in some ways it was a derby, San Diego are your rivals.

Angel City are dominating the game in the first 15 minutes so it doesn’t come as a shock when Christen crosses the ball into the box and you get your head on it perfectly. You run and jump into her arms as you hear the home fans cheering.

It doesn’t take San Diego long to come back though, they are a strong side and you are prepared for a battle but you also know how hard Alex is to stop when she is determined to score, which happens just before half time.

The second half is a lot more physical, you are running down the middle when you are knocked off your feet, you expect to see Abby Dahlkemper or Naomi Girma as they are two that have been marking you the whole game so it is safe to say you are shocked when you see Alex standing over you holding her hand out.

“Sorry baby” Alex says as she helps you up.

You simply shake you head in frustration, you were going to be one on one with the keeper and Alex knows that you don’t miss in that situation. If is was anyone other than your wife you would have reacted very differently.

Call it childish but when Alex next had the ball you wanted payback. You may be professional athletes but you are also very competitive and she needs to know that she won’t get away with taking you out.

Alex gets up without your help “Sorry baby” you say reiterating her words, just as you did she shakes her head but when she turns around you see her smiling which you reciprocate.

It is the 85th minute and the game is still tied.

You manage to get past Naomi now all you had to go was get past Abby but you realise that you don’t have to when you see Christen running along side you. You play a simple through ball to Christen who hits it perfectly, the two of you once again celebrating with each other as the ball hits the back of the net.

The final whilst gets blown with Angel City winning 2-1.

You shake hands with the San Diego players, Alex is the last person you get to.

“Now I remember how much I hate playing against you” Alex says as she wraps her arms around your waist.

“Is that why you took me out?” You tease, raising your eyebrows.

“All is fair in love and football” Alex tells you “I have some media, are you”

“Going to get the little one, I sure am” you say finishing her sentence.

You walk towards where Charlie is sitting with Alex’s family, signing a few signs and taking a few photos along the way.

When you get to where your daughter is you are surprised to see that she has changed her shirt, her pink nike t-shirt had been replaced with a San Diego shirt which you are guessing has your wife’s name and number on the back.

You reach you arms up and Charlie practically jumps in them.

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525 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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ghostonly · 2 years

Text

FTM Top Surgery Q&A - Installment #4

4-Week Post-Op Recovery and Progress

Welcome to installment #4! If you're new here, I'm currently working on a Q&A / Series combo where I outline my experience with FTM top surgery as a large, disabled guy with ADHD and low income. I'll also answer any questions sent in to me. Currently, I haven't received any questions. If you have any now or when you're done reading this post, feel free to send them to me. I'll be taking questions all the way until May of 2023, when the series should be wrapping up.

If you want to know more about the series, check out the announcement here or visit the installment masterlist here.

If you haven't read the previous installments, I recommend you do, as I'll be introducing terminology there that will be used in this installment.

In this installment, I'll be covering the healing and recovery progress of weeks 3 and 4. This will include the removal of stitches, incision tape, and drains as well as scar care and so on.

Under the cut, there are photos showing the surgical site before it's completely healed. If you're sensitive to scars, injury, blood, or other things that go along with surgery, please continue with caution or let me know you'd like a copy of my commentary without the images.

Various Removals

On day 1 of week 3, I had my 2-week follow-up. This was a very exciting appointment, because it meant getting the rest of the shit attached to me removed!

Tbh, while I was excited to have that over with, I was pretty scared of it hurting and, honestly, with good reason. I'm not going to sugar coat this.

Stitch Removal

The first thing to be removed were the non-dissolvable stitches. There were two on the inside ends of my incisions (I think to hold the ends of the drains tubes in place) and a bunch around the outside of my nipples.

The stitches being removed hurt pretty bad. Someone tugging at plastic stitching that's wound under your skin does not feel great. This is the first time I've had stitches at an age where I remember them, so I didn't know what to expect. I think my expectations were pretty accurate though. The pains were sharp and uh... spicy, you could say.

Incision Tape Removal

So, the stitches coming out didn't feel great. However, the incision tape removal was the worst. Straight up, this was the most painful part of the entire surgery process.

The skin under where I used to have breasts is extremely fragile. Firstly because I probably have EDS, so my skin is wimpy and fragile anyway. Secondly because that fragility in combination with having had large boobs that sweat and chafe meant that that crease of skin was constantly getting damaged from being too dry or too moist combined with friction. It's like raw, underdeveloped skin covered in crepe paper, to paint a vivid picture.

The adhesive on the incision tape is extremely sticky and extremely strong. It's basically glue. I was already tensed up from having the pain of the stitch removal, and then they had to take the tape off.

We can assume each incision is roughly 10 inches long. With no pain meds, no numbing, no anesthetic, I had to sit there for a solid 30 seconds straight while a nurse on either side of me pulled the tape off. I don't know if I've ever sworn that many times for that long of a time in my life.

I would not feel remiss comparing it to torture. They took off at least the top layer of skin (not to the point that it was raw underneath, but it generally hurts to have any amount of skin removed from a layer beneath it if its not totally dead, you feel me?), and in many speck-sized spots, it came off to the raw level. And I just had to sit there and let them.

My chest felt raw and sore for hours after. If you get a prescription for something strong like oxycodone-acetaminophine, save one. Take it a couple of hours before you're scheduled to get your incision tape off. I doubt it will prevent it from hurting like a bitch, but it might do a little something.

-9999/10, would not recommend

Drain Removal

Directly after the tape, it was time for them to remove the drains. You can imagine how I felt about that, having just gone through a straight minute or so of various tortures.

"It's not going to hurt."

Okay, like I haven't heard that before.

It didn't hurt.

I didn't even feel it to be honest. She told me to take a deep breath on the count of 3 and then they both pulled one of the drains out. If there was any sensation at all, I didn't notice it - probably because I was still focused on the burning across the surface of my chest. And the relief was immediate. Like, if we ignore the terrible tape pain, the drains coming out immediately had me feeling better.

Movement and Pain Changes in Week 3

Week 3 was amazing. Started out shitty with the tape removal, but getting all the extra crap off of me made everything so much more comfortable.

Week 3 is when I started to get back to a feeling of Normal in terms of movement and pain. I still occasionally got twinges in my nipples from reaching too far, but I got back to an almost normal range of motion, was able to start sleeping on my sides without the drains causing pain, and resume most of the activity I was doing before surgery (please note this is only because I am not a very active person. Please don't go to the gym or something at week 3 lol)

Chest Upkeep

After everything came off, a new bit of upkeep was added to my routine: bacitracin. On top of using Vaseline gauze on my nipples, I then had to start applying bacitracin (an antibacterial ointment) to my incision 3-5 times a day. It sounds like a lot and like it would be hard to remember but, I actually didn't have a hard time remembering. I didn't count how many times per day I did it, but it was easy to remember to do it repeatedly. Every time the bacitracin dried out/fully absorbed (into either my skin or the bra I was wearing) my chest felt a bit more stiff and uncomfortable. Applying more moistened everything again and made it feel better.

They didn't tell me to, but I found it was also helpful to apply some of the ointment on top of the nipple gauze. Because the gauze is just one layer of meshy material, the ointment goes right through it pretty much, so you can moisturize your nipples and also protect them from bacteria without having to remove the gauze. (There's not necessarily a reason not to remove the Vaseline gauze. I just didn't want to mess with it more than necessary.)

The addition of the ointment on the gauze also helped to kind of re-adhere it to my chest since every few hours is enough time for the edges to dry out and start to come up a bit with any movement that leads to bra/chest friction.

Binder Usage

Because the pain went down so dramatically with the drains gone, the idea of wearing the binder for 6 weeks, as the doctor wanted, became a much more tolerable idea. The pressure and stability is nice most of the time.

However, as much as I wanted to avoid unnecessary swelling that could occur if I don't wear the binder as long as instructed, at the beginning of week 4, I stopped wearing it.

The reason why is because of the construction of the binder. So, you know how it's made up of long, narrow panels that are heavily stitched together? Well, the stitching between the panels began to loosen from use, leaving a gap of a few millimeters between the two panels on one of my half-binders. When pulled across my chest, the panels not being directly next to each other led to higher tension at the center where the panels were separated which, in turn, led to painful imprints right across my nipples and incisions. Not only did this hurt a lot, it seemed like it could cause problems with healing.

So, week 4 being the week where I began to actually feel pretty close to normal, I just said fuck it and stopped wearing it.

Chest Protection Without the Binder

I didn't want to just go from all to nothing. My chest still felt a bit uh... operated on. That is to say, accidental chafing, scratching, or interference with foreign objects scared me still.

So, while I stopped wearing the binder, I did keep wearing my flat-fronted sports bras, which was also good for keeping the gooey bacitracin ointment from getting on my blankets and clothes.

Movement and Pain Changes in Week 4

With the binder out of the picture, everything became even nicer. My range of motion was almost entirely back to normal. Lifting my arms fully up was still a bit too much tension on the ends of my incisions, but they can almost get there.

The twinges in my nipples had stopped by this point. However, the feeling was slowly returning to the incision/scar area. This felt a bit bruise like and didn't feel super nice to touch a bunch, but wasn't much of a bother.

Everyday Changes

Without the binder on, I could wear t-shirts without it being noticeable that there was anything under them anymore, which was super nice!

I went to the grocery store for the first time after surgery and it was unbelievable being able to walk around and focus on things other than my chest, which has been my biggest source of dysphoria.

Scar Healing Progress

Week 3 - 5/11, 5/14, 5/17

Week 4 - 5/20, 5/22, 5/24

Questions for the Future

There are a few things I'm wondering about that I won't be able to find out until some more time has passed.

Do wrinkles near the scar go away?

I assume most of the small wrinkles will smooth out a bit over time. However, I am a little bit concerned about this one (perspective from my POV, looking down):

The wrinkle in the middle of this picture is pretty raised because there was a wider piece of skin above the stitches than below. I wonder if my body will figure out how to shrink that down or if it will look like this forever. I guess we'll see!

Will my nipples become cold sensitive again?

I've been wondering, also, if my nipples will become sensitive to cold again and harden/raise from that, or if they'll remain in this kind of in-between state where they're not flat but they're not hard either. At the moment, they're a bit raised but also totally squishy lol. It's a bit weird, but not a bad thing I suppose

Will this shape be grounds for a revision?

And, finally, something I will probably get an answer to at my 6-week follow-up: is the pointed shape at the back end of my left incision grounds for a revision?

You can see this very clearly in the front-facing picture in the last set. Perhaps not enough fat was taken out there and the skin wasn't cut and pulled tight enough before stitching, so it sticks out weirdly. I'm not really a fan. If it was just an appearance thing, it would be bothersome enough, but I can also feel it and bump into it when moving my left arm. I'm kind of hoping I can get that fixed, as much as I don't relish another operation any time soon.

Here's what it looks like from my POV with my arm down:

Well, that's it for weeks 3 and 4!

I'll leave u with another flat and happy selfie from after my shower the other day

As always, thanks for reading and here's a link back to the masterlist.

#top surgery #ftm top surgery #surgery #trans #transition #trans surgery #ftm #queer #lgbt #lgbt+#lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbtqia #q&a #series #ghostsurgeryseries

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