Billy: And you actually succeed??
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STEVE: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener.
EDDIE: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with them.
ARGYLE: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night.
ROBIN: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other.
NANCY: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending.
JOHNATHAN: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.
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Jonathan: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Robin and Nancy's convo?
Argyle: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Eddie: I'm in the washing machine.
Steve: I'm in the closet.
Argyle: We accept you Steve. <3
Steve: No I'm literally in the closet.
Argyle: Love is love. <3
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I’m really surprised that at no point so far has a character mixed up “upside down” with “down under” and accidentally led another character to think that they were talking about Australia the whole time. And by another character I mean Argyle.
Jonathan: it’s full of monsters with hundreds of teeth
Argyle: yeah, everyone knows that
Jonathan: and there’s really dangerous plants
Argyle: I’ve heard that too
Will: and there’s this giant spider made of smoke that can mind control you
Argyle: I didn’t know that, but it’s not surprising based on everything else I’ve heard about Australia
Will: ….
Jonathan: ….
Jonathan: what?
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Eddie, kissing Steve: Hey sweetheart.
Steve, kissing back: What’s up, babe.
Jonathan: Did we miss something?
Robin: Oh, no no, they’re just playing a game, no biggie.
Argyle: What game?
Robin: It’s called gay chicken. The point of the game is for two guys to pretend to be gay together for as long as possible, and whoever chickens out first loses.
Jonathan: And how long has it been since they are, uh… pretending?
Robin: Three weeks.
Argyle:
Jonathan:
Nancy, leaning over: They’re pretty stubborn.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Read the awesome fic by @unclewaynemunson on AO3: The gayest chicken in Hawkins
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Jonathan: Hawkins isn’t that small
Argyle: Your girlfriend’s brother is your brother’s boyfriend, and also your sister’s ex.
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Eddie and Steve stared at their bug-eyed baby in anticipation of her first word.
Steve: Say Da-da.
Eddie: Say Papa.
Lizzie: 🥺
Steve: *sigh* No pressure, whenever you're ready, baby.
Lizzie: D -
Steve: *gasps* She's going to say it!
Eddie: Traitor.
Lizzie: Ding!
Robin: Ha!
Eddie: She said Ding, Robin!
Robin: Close enough.
Lizzie: Ding! Ding! 😛
Argyle: Hey, dudes, I think your food is done.
Eddie: *sniffs* She gave us something, but we definitely shouldn't eat it.
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-During stoner night-
Jonathan: I think Will likes Mike…
Argyle: The dude with the fake threads? Really?
Steve: Why Mike!? Lucas is right there!
Eddie: Wheeler? Jesus H Christ that’s so embarrassing, Baby Byers.
Steve: Dustin! Dustin would treat him so much better than Mike could!
Argyle: This is worse then when we had to bury that super secret agent man in the desert.
Jonathan:…thank you all for understanding what I’m going through.
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Billy: I think I’m in love with Steve, but I’m not sure
Argyle: Does Steve make your heart beat faster, man?
Billy: I don’t know. I have anxiety, everything makes my heart beat faster
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Don't ask questions you already know the answer to, Heather.
Which him? Pick your poison
Or all three call that metalweedwich.
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*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*
STEVE, NANCY, and JOHNATHAN: *spinning a little and talking*
EDDIE, ROBIN, and ARGYLE: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
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