#in black sheep i kept thinking send you my love on a wire
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1. A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
And your ship may be coming in
You're weak, but not giving in
You'll fight it, you'll go out fighting all of them
(You'll be better
You'll be smarter and more grown up
And a better daughter or son)
2. Wake Up by Arcade Fire
Somebody filled up
My heart with nothing
Somebody told me not to cry
But now that I'm older
My heart's colder
I can see that it's a lie
3. Everything is Alright by The Glorious Sons
I'm the closest thing my mother had to a daughter
I used to be ashamed of that but now I'm kind of flattered
I learn that my weakness is a weapon anyway
So I haven't touched a pretty thing in forty days
4. The Mother We Share by CHVRCHES
Come in misery, where you can seem as old as your omens
And the mother we share
Will never keep your proud head from falling
The way is long, but you can make it easy on me
And the mother we share
Will never keep our cold heart from calling
5. BLOODMONEY by Poppy
I know what it feels like
To have my soul sucked out of my body
I finally know what it feels like
To be dead
Your soul can't be saved from the sins you've ignored
And the devil is well aware he is adored
Never forget the excess of a man
Because the grabbing hands always grab what they can
6. Video Game by Sufjan Stevens
I don’t wanna be the center of the universe
I don’t wanna be a part of that shame
In a way, I wanna be my own redeemer
I don’t wanna play your video game
I don’t care if everybody else is into it
I don’t care if it’s a popular refrain
I don’t wanna be a puppet in a theater
I don’t wanna play your video game
7. Rebellion (Lies) by Arcade Fire
People say that your dreams
Are the only things that save ya
Come on baby in our dreams,
We can live our misbehaviour
(Come on hide your lovers
Underneath the covers)
8. Reasons I Drink by Alanis Morissette
I have been working since I can remember, since I was single digits
Now, even though I've been busted
I don't know where to draw the line 'cause that groove has gotten so deep
And nothing can give reprieve like they do
Nothing can give a break for this soldier like they do
9. Black Sheep by Metric
Hello again
Friend of a friend, I knew you when
Our common goal was waiting for the world to end
Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend
You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick, the past again
I'll send you my love on a wire
Lift you up, every time
Everyone, ooh
Pulls away, ooh
From you
10. Young and Menace by Fall Out Boy
We've gone way too fast for way too long
And we were never supposed to make it half this far
And I lived so much life, lived so much life
I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice
(Oops I did it again
I forgot what I was losing my mind about)
11. Red Heart by Hey Rosetta!
Were you born a closed book,
Full of secret lines? (and bound so tight)
Or did you learn to lock it,
As not to break your spine? (oh! you were bound so tight)
Cause you shut up
And you're all shut inside
12. Gay is Not A Synonym For Shitty by Fall Out Boy
I've loved everything about you that hurt
So let me see your moves, let me see your moves
Lips pressed close to mine
True blue
But the prince of any failing empire knows that
Everybody wants, everybody wants
To drive on through the night if it's a
Drive back home
13. Combat Baby by Metric
I want to be wrong but
No one here wants to fight me like you do
Combat baby come back baby
Fight off the lethargy
Don't go quietly
Combat baby
Said you would never give up easy
Combat baby come back
14. It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking it Must be Love by Fall Out Boy
All the ways you make my stomach turn
And all the long drives
With my friends blur
And I wish I kept them inside my mind
I hide behind these words
(But I'm coming out)
15. Ivy by Frank Ocean
I thought that I was dreamin' when you said you loved me
The start of nothin', I had no chance to prepare
I couldn't see you comin'
The start of nothin', ooh, I could hate you now
It's quite alright to hate me now
But we both know that deep down
The feeling still deep down is good
16. Blue Eyes by Mika
Your heart is broken
To your surprise
You're sick of crying
For blue eyes
(Come, sorrow is so peculiar
Comes in a day, then it'll never leave you)
17. The Fault in Our Stars by Troye Sivan
The weight
Of a simple human emotion
Weighs me down
More than the tank ever did
The pain
It's determined and demanding
To ache, but I'm OK
(You lost
A part of your existence
In the war against yourself)
18. Happy Ending by Mika
Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I'd guess I wish you well
Mm, a little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
(This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending)
19. In Our Bedroom After the War by Stars
Wake up, say good morning to
That sleepy person lying next to you
If there's no one there, then there's no one there
But at least the war is over
20. Love Love Love by The Mountain Goats
Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun
But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one
Love love is going to lead you by the hand
Into a white and soundless place
Now we see things as in a mirror dimly
Then we shall see each other face to face
~BONUS TRASH TRACKS~
21. The Archers Bows Have Broken by Brand New
What did you learn tonight?
You're shouting so loud, you barely joyous, broken thing
You're a voice that never sings, is what I say
You are freezing over hell
You are bringing on the end, you do so well
You can only blame yourself, it's what I say
22. All-American Boy by Steve Grand
Ripped jeans, only drinks whiskey
I find him by the fire while his girl was getting frisky, oh...
I say we go this road tonight
He smiles, his arm's around her
But his eyes are holdin' me, just a captive to his wonder, oh...
I say we go this road tonight
#spn#playlist#music#this is the dean playlist#suicide tw for the mountain goats song#in black sheep i kept thinking send you my love on a wire#was like prayer#and yeah all of MANIA is deancas#i made both playlists without using Church and you should be proud of that#i was like is there too much fob?#then i was like haha not for cariño#Spotify#also i went into the VAULT for this#it is like half the same playlist i would have made in college about this#it is like half of the same playlist i would have made in high school about anything
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So, I’ve been working on this VERY long bkdk fanfiction, and I’ve been losing some creative spirit, so I’ve decided to post one of the chapters to brew up some more condidence.
BTW, for context, Izuku is walking around in a world he already knows and interacting with people he has already seen, he ust can’t remeber it. ;) The song is Black Sheep from the movie Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
LOADING…
LOADING…
LOADING…
START?
The bar seemed to be overly swarmed for a Thursday night. Dancing bodies take up the middle of the room, and conversing couples and groups stand on the outskirts. Both of which make it almost impossible for Izuku to make his way to the bar. However, he does manage to grab a seat and takes a look at the possible drink options in his hand. An empty glass slams into his field of vision.
Izuku blinks and looks up to see a frowning middle-aged man glaring at him. His eyes are tired and irritated, and his mouth seemed to be set in a permanent frown. “I said, ‘What’s your poison, kid’? The bartender reiterates.
His face flushes, and he lowers his head in embarrassment. “Sorry, I must have not heard from you. Tequila?” With that, the bartender walks away leaving Izuku to give a sigh of relief. He looks around dazedly at the distracted masses. None of them seemed to be the person he was looking for.
“One shot of Tequila. The bartender says tiredly. His tone of voice triggers something inside of Izuku, and he tilts his head in confusion. The bartender raises his eyebrows in response, “Can I get you anything else?”
“No…Aizawa?” He says. The name almost feels familiar coming out of his mouth. Almost like he had said them before or seen them.
Aizawa does not share his sense of confusion because he rolls his eyes and says patronizingly, “Yes, that is what my how you read my nametag.” Izuku looks down at the nametag on his chest to see that the kanji for his name is indeed printed the same way. He flushes in embarrassment once more as Aizawa walks away mumbling something about not getting enough pay.
Izuku sighs into his drink and throws it back. The only thing worse than crowds is interacting with them. Though he can’t seem to pick out any faces, he does have to admit the various people are realistically detailed and unique. It really does feel like he’s in a real bar.
“Alright! Who is ready to party?” The host shouts from the center stage. The crowd answers back enthusiastically. Izuku turns around intrigued.
“We’ve got some fan favorites here ready to grace the stage today. Everybody, give it up for the Ground Zero!” The cheering gets louder at the name of the band, and the host quickly makes his way off the stage to give them some room.
The cheering only gets louder as the members become visible under the building’s soft lights. In the back-center, a sandy blond man takes his place behind the drums. He smirks at the audience as he picks up the sticks, and Izuku can feel his chest tighten at the familiar face. A pink-haired woman in a purple zebra pink dress takes the mic. “What’s up, Tokyo! I’m Mina, and behind me are my associates, Kirishima, Jirou, and *******. As you probably already know, we’re Ground Zero.”
Kirishima, a man with spiky red hair and sharp-toothed grin, and Jirou, a woman with a short cut bob and bored expression, come from behind Mina to stand at her side with guitars in both of their hands. They continue waving to the audience until the unnamed drummer rolls his eyes at the introduction and yells something at Mina that Izuku can’t hear from where he stands. Whatever he yells makes Mina laugh and she gives her bandmates a signal for the song to begin.
Izuku couldn’t help but shake in excitement. Not only did they sound amazing, but they were playing one of his favorite songs.
Black sheep come home, black sheep come home
Black sheep come home, black sheep come home
Jirou works off the crowd’s energy and provides beginning background vocals and harmonies for the chorus. Her guitar’s bass shakes the walls of the bar, and her harmonies reverberate throughout the walls of the bar. The energy she gave off undercut her seemingly uninterested demeanor. As the established frontman, she led the group throughout every melody and note change with ease, just as a prodigy should.
Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when
Our common goal was waiting for the world to end
Mina’s voice is soft but airy enough to give the rock ballad a seductive sound. She sings the words while bouncing on around the stage with the beat. She seems to be the one having the most fun under the attention striking flirty poses along with some of the more risque lyrics. Looking to her left, she kept in time with Jirou and Kaminari while occasionally looking back to the obscured drummer.
Send you my love on a wire
Lift you up, every time, everyone, ooh, pulls away, ooh
From you
Kirishima keeps up in step and strumming in time to Jirou’s notes. He hypes the crowd in between chords and keeps them moving throughout the track. He looks to the crowd shouting out some of the lyrics while occasionally losing himself in a few of his own dance moves. His position on stage allows him to keep his strumming on beat with the drummer while hearing any switch ups from Jirou, so that the group stays in sync.
Though he’s in the back, the audience seems to automatically be drawn to Bakugou. His low vocals work with Jriou’s higher voice to create the perfect harmonies on the chorus while keeping time with the beats of his drum. From the looks of the signs, many of the crowd seems to be carrying, it seems as though he’s a fan favorite.
It's a mechanical bull, the number one
You'll take a ride from anyone
Everyone wants a ride, pulls away, ooh, from you
Izuku can say the same. He hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of him. The way his hair moves as he bangs his head up and down in time, the way he closes his eyes and seems to be lost in the music and his aura seems to scream for attention over the already loud room. Izuku can safely say that he is hooked.
The song ends with roaring applause, and Mina wishes the crowd a good night as they take their leave. Izuku’s eyes widen at the retreating figures, and he knows he has to act fast. Without thinking, he begins to push his way through the tightly knit crowd, almost getting crushed for his efforts. Without looking back at the people he nudged a little too hard, he made his way to the back of the stage. The backstage entrance isn’t hard to find as much as it’s hard to get to, but the green-haired man manages to make his way. The guards at the door were already having a rough time calming down a horde of fans who had the same idea he did.
One burly man was speaking with a blond woman in front of all the others, and he overhears their conversation as he approaches.
“Please…Please! Why can’t I see Kirishima-Kun?” The blonde pleads with the apathetic security guard, and his frown deepens. She was one of the audience members carrying a sign, although hers seemed to be dedicated to the guitarist.
“No one is getting in, by direct orders. If you have a problem with it, take it up with the manager.” He says dryly. The blonde continues her pestering to the increasingly annoyed man who looks to be about three seconds away from giving her the boot.
Izuku slowly approaches the two and clears his throat. The squabbling pair look back at him. The blonde’s face is curious, and the guard seems to be annoyed. “Is there any way to ask permission to get backstage?”
“Take it up with Aizawa. All of you.” He waves them off. “Now, get out of my face before I call the police.”
Aizawa? He quickly turns to head back toward the bar, barreling his way through the dance floor this time. He reaches the seat he was previously in and looks around. While the patrons seem to be good and drunk, there was no bartender in sight. Izuku sighed in disappointment. The groupies at the door seem to be ready to call it a day and walk off from the guards with scowls and curses. Izuku himself sighs while taking a seat in the exact same place he was in before the show. He wishes this wasn’t so difficult. He just needed to-
“What’s your poison, kid?” Aizawa appears in front of him suddenly as if answering a prayer. Izuku can hardly believe it.
“Can you help me? I mean- I need to get backstage,” he says hurriedly. His heart is pounding out of his chest, and his breath comes out in short pants.
Aizawa looks back at him as if he had grown a third head. “Calm down, Izuku.”
But Izuku is way past the point of calming down. He runs his fingers through his hair and grits his teeth. “I’m sorry. It’s just really important that I get backstage and talk to Kacchan before he leaves tonight.”
Kacchan?
“I mean…” Izuku stutters with a flush. He takes a deep breath and plops down in the seat. “What am I talking about? There’s no way I can talk to him. Everything about him screams confidence and I- I just… You know how you meet someone for the first time and instantly feel a connection. I know it sounds crazy to say but I just felt like if I talked to him for a second, then maybe I could tell him-I dunno. Forget it, just bring me another tequila.” He lowers his head in embarrassment.
For a long minute, there’s nothing but silence between them. Izuku keeps his head down expecting the bartender to walk away. Soon enough, he does, and Izuku lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Another group had taken the stage, and while most had left after Ground Zero’s performance, a good number of them were around to cheer while the next singer performed. Izuku sighed, knowing that the band was pretty popular. It was pretty stupid of him to think-
A calloused hand slammed down a twenty-dollar bill beside him. “Hey, nerd,” Izuku turns around to see Ground Zero’s drummer standing behind him.
He stares at him with an indiscernible look in his eyes and makes sure he got into his space. Before Izuku could say anything, the blonde pulls him forward and presses his lips against his. Izuku’s mind goes blank as he registers lips moving against his, and by the time he pulls away, his mind is sufficiently fried. A smirk comes back to his face as he sees the look in his eyes, and he leans forward once more to huskily whisper in his ear,
“What’s my name, Deku?”
Please be nice It’s just a first draft.
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Winter Song
Ch: 6 Hard Candy Christmas
Chapters: 6/31
Word Count: I,711
Fandom: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Rating: Teen
Warnings: some difficulty dealing with the judgement of others
Summary: Julie Hubble decides to see how Miss Mould is adjusting to life in the Ordinary world. Along the way she gets a bit of insight into Mildred, Hecate Hardbroom and enjoys a fabulous milkshake.
Notes: This story is part of the B-Sides: Stories from the world of Hecate’s Summer Playlist series. It is a prequel to Hecate’s Summer Playlist.
The title, Hard Candy Christmas, is by Dolly Parton, of course. So much to love in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
Once again, Sparky did her best to save me from my own deranged use of commas and semicolons.
“Can I get one by the window, love? I’m meeting a friend.” Julie smiled and followed the hostess to a table by the window. She slung her bag over the back of the chair and settled into the café table, making sure to keep one eye on the door. She folded, smoothed and refolded a paper napkin, knee bouncing under the table. She sniffed the red carnation sprouting from the glass vase in the middle of the table. She read and reread the menu. She checked the time on her phone; she still had twelve minutes before she was supposed to meet Miss Mould at one.
Eight minutes before the hour Julie spotted a colorful coat winding through the holiday crowds filling the sidewalk. Keeping an eye on the swirling blues and greens, Julie watched the witch approaching, slowly, eyes moving back and forth between the storefronts and a piece of paper clutched in her hand. She paused on the sidewalk in front of the café, double and triple checking the address. Julie rapped her knuckles against the window, finally catching Miss Mould’s attention and waving the witch inside.
Marigold pushed the door open and rushed to the table, looking relieved. “Ms. Hubble!” Julie stood and they awkwardly flipped between missed hugs and missed handshakes, neither doing the same thing at the same time.
“Sit down, love!” Julie pulled a chair out for Marigold and shoved the menu into her hands. “I’m bloody starving.” She plunked back into her own seat and took up the menu again. “What would you like to drink? They’ve got a lovely cuppa. And if you’re feeling indulgent, they make a fabulous Black Forest milkshake – chocolate and cherries.” They slipped into silence as each woman studied her options.
After a few minutes, Marigold closed the menu, nervously rubbing her fingers over the cover. “I think just a cup of the tomato bisque for me.”
Julie looked up, stunned. “Tomato? What? You’ll do no such thing, love!” She reached across and opened Marigold’s menu back up. “I didn’t ask you to lunch for you to skimp on a bit of soup. Order what you’d like. It’s my treat.”
“You don’t have to –”
“I know.” Julie covered one of Marigold’s hands with her own. “But I want to. You’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t get at least a double cheeseburger with chips. The brie burger is to die for, it’s me regular.”
Marigold’s eyes shone with unshed tears, but she nodded anyway. “Thank you, Ms. Hubble.”
“And if you don’t start calling me Julie, I swear I’ll order the most expensive things on the menu and then do a runner,” she said, winking.
“Julie, then. Thank you, Julie.” She smiled shyly and went back to studying the menu.
The waitress came and went. True to her word, Julie ordered the brie burger with a large side of chips. Marigold opted for the chicken and avocado sandwich with a cup of the tomato bisque instead of chips or crisps.
“How are things with the…Council?” Julie asked, glancing furtively around. “How do things stand for you?”
Marigold glanced around the café. A cheerful boisterousness filled the space as guests chatted and laughed with each other. No one paid them any mind whatsoever. “I guess the Council is more or less finished with me. They kept me in…” her voice caught, and she swallowed hard before she could go on. “They kept me in custody for thirty days. I think they were trying to decide what to do with me. If I had my powers, they would have been confiscated for a period of time. Not life.” The waitress swept by, depositing a pot of tea and two mugs. She turned her attention to preparing her tea.
Julie poured her own tea, frowning as she tried to work out the best way to say what she wanted to say. “I don’t understand why they needed to punish you at all, Marigold. You weren’t responsible.”
Marigold’s mug clattered onto the table. “How can you, of all people, say that? I nearly cost your own daughter her magic. Girls were hurt because of me.”
Carefully, Julie placed her spoon on the tabletop. “What – exactly – did you do? From what Mildred said, Ethel Hallow stole the Founding Stone. Ethel Hallow created a duplicate one to put on display. Ethel Hallow tricked her sister into taking the Stone’s power causing,” she looked around, leaned forward and dropped her voice to a whisper, “causing a magical black spot.” She leaned back in her chair. “As far as I can tell, you had a moment of weakness. You didn’t tell them where the stone was, but you didn’t know anyone was still in the castle. You almost cost my daughter, Maud, Enid and Felicity everything. You almost cost Hardbroom and Miss Cackle everything. But when it came down to the wire, Marigold, you did the right thing. You made a great sacrifice. And I’m grateful to you for it. My daughter is whole, thanks to you. So are the rest. Cackle’s still stands.”
“You sound like Miss Hardbroom,” Marigold sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes.
“Hardbroom? The one with the broomstick shoved –” she finished the sentence with a rather graphic gesture.
“That very one. She actually…” Marigold dabbed at her eyes again. “She actually spoke to the Mag— Council on my behalf. Quite forcefully, I must say. I didn’t expect her to do that. Miss Cackle and Miss Drill were also there. That’s why it was only thirty days and… and…” She took a steadying breath and a bracing gulp of tea. “Exile into the Ordinary world. Though… I suppose I’m not really exiled. I just don’t belong in the witch— I don’t belong there anymore.”
“I don’t either, love. And I’m going just fine.” The waitress approached, and Julie slid her mug to the side to make room for their meal, letting the conversation lapse into something almost like companionable silence as they ate. “Mmph!” Julie chewed her burger and swallowed. “I meant to ask you if you found a flat yet?”
Shaking her head no, Marigold set her sandwich back down without taking a bite. “It’s getting’ a bit dodgy on that front, as well. The Council put me in sort of a part-time lodging when they released me, but I’m only meant to stay there for another week. I don’t even know how to fill out the forms for an apartment. Or to find a job. I have some money saved from Cackle’s but… It won’t last long and my family isn’t exactly keen on helping out, now that I’m the black sheep.”
“I know a bit about that. Me mum wasn’t exactly thrilled when I broke out the news I was up the duff over the Sunday ham.” She took another bite of her burger, savoring the earthy taste of the brie. “Why don’t you come ‘round for supper on Friday? We can take a look at those forms together, see if we can’t get you settled.”
“You really don’t have—” Marigold stopped herself when Julie looked like she was about to fling a chip across the table at her. “That’s very kind of you,” she corrected, quickly. “I’d love to.” She spooned out the last of her soup. “This is a far sight better than Tapioca’s soup, to be sure.”
“Oi, tell me about it. I have to go to Cackle’s for a brunch Sunday for the Spe—” she dropped her voice to a whisper. “For the Spell Science Fair. I can only imagine what she does with brunch,” she said wrinkling her nose.
“I don’t miss her cooking, that’s the truth.” She fussed with her napkin a bit before speaking. “I don’t suppose… since you’re going to be at Cackle’s anyway…” Marigold stared at her empty cup of soup as if it held the secrets of the universe. “Would you mind giving Dimity, I mean, Miss Drill my regards?”
Julie suppressed a grin, and the urge to tease, responding as casually as she could, “I would be happy to. If you’ve anything you’d like to send up the mountain, I’d be happy to take it.”
“I don’t. I don’t think,” she said quickly, pushing the last bit of her sandwich away. “Thank you. Speaking of things I’d like to send along…” Marigold twisted around in her chair and pulled her oversized bag into her lap, extracting a flat package wrapped in brown paper. “This is for you. To say thank you for being kind to me when you have every reason not to be.” She handed the parcel over to Julie.
“You didn’t need to bring me anything,” Julie said, tearing into the paper anyway. “Ohhh…. Marigold. This is lovely.” It was a brightly colored acrylic painting of what looked like Mildred, standing on the stage in the theatre, holding up the staff she’d carved herself. Above her, a myriad of objects floated, captured in a glowing blue haze of magic. “That’s supposed to be Millie?”
“It is. She really did that, stopped all the things that had escaped from Vanishment from hitting the Great—from hitting Hellibore. She was magnificent. She’s going to be very powerful someday.”
“I wish that old Miss Hardbroom thought so,” Julie muttered. “This really is lovely. I know just where I’m going to hang it.”
“Thank you.” For the first time, Marigold smiled a wide, true smile. “And Julie? Miss Hardbroom does think so. She knows so. I think that’s why she’s so hard on Mildred, why she’s so keen on her learning to control her… self.”
Julie thought about that for a moment. It would be nice if it were true. Sometimes she could almost believe that Hardbroom did care about her daughter. Mildred had somehow managed to remain fond of Miss Hardbroom. She’d have to think on that a bit, she decided. For now, though… “Nah…” she said, scrunching up her face. “I don’t buy it. But I do want to buy one of those Black Forest milkshakes. Care to share with me?”
“I think you’ve made me an offer I can’t refuse,” Marigold answered, flagging down the waitress.
#ww2018winterfluffevent#julie hubble#marigold mould#adjustments are hard#if you squint there's dimigold? starmould? What is that ship name?
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Untamed Pt.7
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x plus size MASTERLIST
A/n: sorry for the late update! I hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!
"Y/N?!"
Noooooo it's my day off! Pulling the blankets over my head and rolled over.
"Y/N?!" Noooooooo.
"Y/N!" Angrily I sit up and bring the blanket down. My eyes open and....... What the fuck? There is a Christmas tree in the middle of my room?! Oh my god there is a real pine tree in the middle of my room!
Slowly, I crawl out of my bed and sit In front of the tree. The smell filled my nose heavenly and the ornaments.......looked familiar. Except for this one, a turtle dove? My fingers softly touch the dove. Who put this here? All of this.
"Y/N" Mom and Ed open my door with scared and angry expressions.
"Someone broke i-" mom looked at the Christmas tree and looked back at me then back at the tree.
"Ta-ta da" I nervously say and extend my arms out.
"I don't know if I should ask how this got here?" Ed pointed at the tree.
"Good. Cause I don't know how either" they both came in and sat next to me looking at the tree. It's beautiful. Whoever placed it here is amazing. Creepy, but amazing.
"It smells amazing" all of us take a deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell. Who knows how long we sat there just looking at the tree.
"Who wants pancakes?" I asked.
"Me" Mom said touching the turtle dove
"This is new" I nod my head and take it down.
"Usually there is two. One for a friend and one to keep, but here we have one."
"Should we freak out about all of this?" Ed questioned. I feel like if I should, but I don't. Why? Why can't I freak out about this?
"Oooh these are nice!" I look at Ed playing with some sunglasses. The sunglasses! I forgot to give them to Bucky! Aw man!
"Take those off! They are a gift to someone!" I get up and take them off his huge head.
"WHO?" He asked childish, putting his hands to the side.
"Someone special" I place them in the desk.
"Well I'm going to make the pancakes, get ready we're going to grandma's" we all got up and went out separate ways. Getting my clothes ready I head to the shower. The marks are gone but now there is a scar left behind, make up will do.
With no care I put my music on and get in the shower. I have gone back to showering once a one or twice times a day and it is fine, still feel dirty, but I can't let it get to me.
I let the music take over me and begin singing while washing my hair.
~send you my love on a wire~
~lift you up every time~
~everyone oooooooooo~
The thought of someone breaking in kinda scared me, and the thought of someone placing it in my room while I was sleeping made it worst. Holy shit! I mean the tree is beautiful, but who could have put it in there it's super heavy, and so quietly too. Rosie and Caroline know that I wanted a really tree for Christmas! Them bitches will give me socks or something they dont want. They are out.
A real Christmas tree is all I wanted! But who did I also mentioned that I wanted one. Then the realization hit me like a bowling ball hitting a pin.
"BUCKY!" I yell and open my eyes making soap get in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck that stings. I hurry and get the soap off and finish my shower in a speedy.
Quickly I dry my body and comb my hair. I should have known from the beginning that it was him. My stomach began to get butterflies as I thought about Bucky bringing a pine tree into my house quietly. He gave me a real Christmas tree for Christmas!
"Mom! I need to go somewhere can I get the car?!" I yelled running down the stairs.
"Is 12:37 we need to be at grandmas at 2" she was still making pancakes.
"I'll be back super duper fast!" She gave me her serious look. Come on, please.
"Please I need to go" I gave her my best puppy eyes. Fall for them, fall for them! She threw me the keys, happily I gave her a kiss and ran out. As i raced to Bucky's place I began trying to wrap the sunglasses. That's it! Is that all I am going to really give him! NO! I need to buy him something else! Should I just wait? Or give him the sunglasses?
"Nope! I'm waiting!" Getting out of the car I slip on ice but manage to get a hold of the car door. Getting myself together I go and knock on his door.
Knock knock knock!
I wait for 10 minutes but he doesn't answer. Ugh he's not home! I hit my head against the door. After a couple of seconds I get in the car and head straight home. What did I expect? he has family, duh. Getting home I literally flop myself on the couch.
"Where were you?" Ed asked me.
"Hukmmmmmm" my face was squished against the pillow.
"Huh?"
"I know who gave meee the tree!!!!" Shouted into the pillow. He sat next to me and put a hand on my back.
"His name is Bucky Barnes." He just hummed.
"Ed say something?"
"What do I say?"
"I dont know?! Something?!"
"Is he different?" I nod
"Is he like the other guys?" I shake my head
"Have you....you know?" I shake my head again. I lift my head and look at the destroyed artificial tree. A little chuckle escaped me thinking about Bucky just trying to get all the ornaments.
"How did you guys meet?"
"Work" I sit up trying to fix my hair. He didn't ask anything else. We ate and went to grandma's. We did the same thing over and over again, eat dinner, sit In front of the t.v. or look at the stupid fake tree, then open presents and asking where my boyfriend is, then we eat more. Same. Shit. Over. And. Over. Again.
--------------
"Hey Bucko" Tony sat next to me while drinking his spiked eggnog.
"Hey" he gave me one and I gladly drank it. Alcohol didn't affect Steve or I. Super solder serum.
"Ready for presents?" I nod my head and look at the tree. Damn, Tony goes all out! The thing is almost touching the ceiling.
"You know I didn't buy anything for you guys......i thought I wasn't going to come."
"Hey. Your presence is better than anything" he puts his head on my shoulder and finishes his eggnog.
"Tony what are you doing?" Nat asked amused.
"Don't ruin the moment!" Tony yelled and began digging into his pocket.
"Here take a picture. And post it on my Twitter account. Saying something nice" he put his head back on my shoulder and his hand on my chest like a couple.
"Smile honey"
"No" i deadpan.
"Come On sweetheart" I try moving away but he pulls me back down.
"COME ON. LOVE MEEEEE" I manage to get up and Tony falls to the floor getting a hold of my leg.
"3......2......1!" Nat takes the picture. She showed us the picture cracking up.
"Ohh Oh this is perfect" Tony let's me go and grabs his phone and process to upload the picture.
"Come and open presents!" Steve yells. Once we where all in the room Sam had a Santa hat while giving out the presents. Everyone got a bunch of presents! I got one but it didn't matter I felt good. Bunch of clothes and video games where scattered across the room it was amazing! It felt like home, I just missed someone.
"I know......Buck" Steve caught my attention from Peter teaching me how to use my new phone.
"Hm?" Both Steve and Tony give me a heavy box.
"This is from all of us." Tony said with a huge smile on his face. I began ripping the paper. Man, I felt so excited! I don't care if i just got two presents they ment something important. A record player!
"Look inside" clint said.
A bunch of old records that I enjoyed from the past. I got up and hugged Steve for the wonderful memory before war.
"Hey Bucko" I felt overwhelmed by the gift that a lump formed in my throat.
"There is something else Buck" I look at them and they had huge smiles.
"We might have gotten Tony to make you a mp3 player and put new music in there. It's the songs we think you might like. Some of our favorites too" Clint said as I open the small box inside the case.
"Thank you" I mumbled. I feel overwhelmed with comfort and care.
" Mr. Bucky sir are you crYING? " slowly I wipe my cheek. I guess I am. I try to hid the little tears but I guess I failed.
"I guess I am kid" I lightly chuckled and Peter gave me a bone crushing hug.
"DoN' t cRY" I...
"Peter..." can't...
"Peter........" breath..
"PeTER!!"
"Yes Mr.Stark?"
"Let him go. He can't breath!" Soon as he let go I felt myself take a large amount of air.
"Damn kid you got a strong hold" my voice came out raspy. Laughter filled the room.
---------
"Here we are Buck" Steve turned on the truck. He wanted to drive to my studio. 3 hour drive just talking and singing like old times.
"Thanks Steve and Sam"
"Yeah whatever. But next time can we hear music from this era! I wanna hear some Kanye West man!" Sam kept on blabbing and blabbing. Ignoring Sam I got out and walked to my door with my stuff.
"Hey" I whip my head to the side and see Y/n.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" I open the door and let her in first.
"Thanks. Umm I wanted to th-thank you for the tree. It's beautiful" her cheeks turned pink. "Welcome" I mumbled and placed my stuff on the bed.
"I got you something.." she gave me a Christmas bag. "It's not like your gift sadly. I wish I could give you something better" I open the bag and see the sunglasses that i wanted and a DVD movie. Dumbo.
"We can finally see the movie. If you want." She was nervous, I can tell. All I need is her presence, she made this Christmas better.
"Y/n, you watching the film with me will make my Christmas perfect"
Tags: @tnupsweetpie
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Hi, I’m MJ and I’m A Spiritual Ping Pong Ball
Well, I warned y’all.
From day to day, shit changes. And today is a much more positive post than yesterday.
After I pressed ‘post’, my day absolutely spiraled to shit.
We had issues with the truck, my dad was being weird, H got stuck pulling about 10 times the weight he should have. It was just a wreck.
I felt helpless because the truck needed repairs and financially, I knew it would be a ton. (Lady is a 14 year old boss hoss with 160,000 miles on her. She’s due for a pampering, I’ll admit... but now?)
H was struggling because basically everyone needed him for one thing or another... and I was struggling because I wasn’t needed for a damn thing.
I went to my parents’ house and the meltdown began.
I cried to my mama about how I was so over feeling small and unwanted. I basically reverted into childhood again and it alllllll came out. Like the badass mama bear she is, she lifted me up and told me that I just need to be patient and trust because I am a great person who deserves great things in life.
Awwww shucks, mama. You always know exactly what to say.
So, we got home and I went to my little meditation corner.... hell-bent on figuring out why now? Why all these wild, irrational thoughts?
And I cried... and cried... and cried.. and cried....
My inner child was so so so distraught... and my ego was ganging up on her... and I had given in and was joining the fight with my ego instead of standing tall with my inner child.
To go back in time a bit, my g-ma had sent me a pretty awful letter about a month ago. I’ve been working on replying to it since the day I got it.... but very half-assedly. I was putting it off because there was lots of facts and feelings I had to lay out in that letter that my inner child did not want to admit.
So, I tasked myself Monday with finally getting it done. Pressing ‘send’ and wiping my hands clean. But then my mom said that I should edit it down to be shorter and more concise..... the way it was written would cause WW3 in our family.
Well, let me start by saying that when it comes to my g-ma, I create and live in WW3 just by existing.
I am the black sheep. The ‘weirdo’ in the family. The emotional one, the ‘different’ one. I am basically the only one who doesn't jump when she says to.
So, even if I sent her a letter that said “You’re right. I’m a fuck up. I’ll be exactly how you want me to” she would still find fault in me.
Writing that letter drudged up a bunch of stuff from childhood that I had forgotten.
So, Monday I was down and out. Just sad.
Tuesday, I was starting to feel a bit angry. How could someone who supposedly ‘loved’ me damage me so bad?
By Wednesday, I was frustrated and in a true funk.
She treated me a certain way, I learned from it and treated myself that same way. Now that I see it, I want to heal it and move forward as a new person, but how?
In her eyes, I’m a real POS. Not worthy of anything. Not smart. Not talented. Not kind. Not hard working. I’m just a turd.
So, I had been treating myself like the turd she told me I was.
And in life, I was receiving the types of things that turds deserve.
Financial hardships, friends who stabbed me in the back, bosses who treated me like shit.
Damn shame it took 30 years for me to figure out that I was being treated like shit by others because I was treating myself like shit!
My inner child kept saying “I deserve this. I deserve the pain. I deserve the sadness. I deserve to be punished for being a POS.”
My ego said “Yep! You’re right, kiddo! Don’t you dare treat yourself like the true Queen that you are! Go sit in the corner and wait for the punishments to keep coming. Wait for everything to collapse. That’s what you deserve.”
During meditation, I let myself grieve. Grieve for the old way of life that is gone. Pre-pandemic life when things were ‘normal’. Grieve for the way of life I lived because my inner child felt unworthy. Grieve for the guilt I had carried and the shame I felt every single day.
Since my spiritual awakening, I have changed myself from who I was in so many ways I can’t even begin to count.
I am seriously not at all like the ‘old me’.
I think my ego misses that old me. Old me played it safe. Played life small. Stayed within bounds and didn’t let any grandiose ideas of life enter her mind.
My ego doesn't know how to handle the new me.
Positive, powerful, free, upbeat, happy, joyful and whole.
It has taken a lot of time to un-program and re-program my physical brain. It was wired for destruction, illness, sadness, depression, worry, fear and self-deprecation.
I guess I assumed that my ego and inner child had plenty of time to adjust to the new me.
But I assumed and made an ass out of me and me....
So, for the 459th day, I start anew.
Free from the chains of yesterday when I felt small and worried and frustrated.
I step into my own power and experience my freedom with true bliss.
I allow beautiful, abundant blessings to flow my way because I am not holding back anymore!
Today marks a new chapter. One I have never been in before. Because this time I am showing myself more compassion and understanding than I have before.
So.... let’s see how this chapter is. It will surely be a whole heckuva lot different than the last!
Also, as part of that new chapter, I got an interview tomorrow at a place I’ve wanted to work for a hot minute. Not exactly the huge breakthrough blessing I had been hoping for, but if I allow the blessings to trickle, maybe they’ll break the dam and I’ll experience the flood of blessings. Regardless, I am grateful for the opportunity. Things are looking up.
OH! And it’s not like anyone reads this, but I want to document it as part of my journal.
2pm ET today is the Global Mayday Meditation. Please participate if you are able to. I am going to focus on World Peace, healing and one-ness.
Can’t wait to see what this does to the Schumann Resonance!
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Fanfic Band AU: First Chapter
“Second call!” was announced behind the door.
He saw his bass, red as his trade mark, they were RGB for something the young man thought. The eyeliner made his eyes scarlet eyes remark that even more.
Three songs, only three, they had troubles with the place so they cut their time in stage.
“Fucking cunts.” said the brunette at his side like reading his thoughts.
“Green, please, don’t aggravate the obvious…” said the youth playing with her drumsticks.
“Guys, keep on, we are going to end this like the stars we are…” he said while putting his costume.
“Yeah, stars that some no good owners treat like anything… Red, we aren’t the bastards of the Elite Four yet…” Green said while eyeing Blue’s costume.
White high heel boots, a tight short black dress and a navy blue jacket. He lust a bit over her friend, but seeing her face killed his hots. Then he eyed Red seeing how that tight shirt defined his chest and those ugly pants marked his friend’s bulge, but again, seeing that face killed his desires, that wine colored coat also murdered his mood.
“Green, I know this sucks, but please, we have to keep this, it’s enough with how much money was refund to the shortage of the concert, so just suck it up and let them fuck us anally…” Red said not really believing in his motivational junk.
“Besides, that two things are your best talents.” the one with blue eyes laughed mockingly bit most of all entirely in a false way.
“Says the one who is ready to flap her purse in the corner…” Green responded.
“Sure, the one with bad boy style can say shit about my clothes, leather jackets with fluff in the collar are not as edgy as you think, you twink… or some biker bear that took your daddy issues with poking your prostate left it in the motel?” she said while trying to decide in the mirror between ponytail or just free.
“Yeah, fucking older dudes or women ‘cuz your parents leave you with your grandfather is worse than having hots for your brother…” Blue laughed at that.
“If we can kill each other…” the young woman started.
“Then we’ll kill ourselves…” the skinny man said.
“Guys… can you lighten up a bit, just don’t kill yourselves until we have our third album….” the black haired youth sighed.
“Third call, go to the stage!” it was announced.
“Okay, get your shit together and let’s explode the hell back to this world.” Red said while seeing him in the mirror trying to find any imperfection.
“Princesses, let’s do it!” claim Blue while leaving the camerin.
The darkness and silence before the storm, the omen of a concert they thought, expecting, waiting, blessed and most off all, wasted or drunk, the three youths loved it.
Spotlight shining, dazzling lights and colors exploding as the masses did in screams, attention, devotion and people living the idea of them, what else they could wish for?
Blue started, what better than go straight with this?
Then Green, guitar as precise as him.
Red started the bass… gulped and then
“Walk right in all you sinners and saints, tonight’s the night we’re gonna take off these chains!”
“Some wounds will never mend!” the crowd exploded.
The stimulating pestilence of sex, alcohol and cigarettes, Green wasn’t in the mood to think about the bunch of probably underage girls who were naked in his bed, he didn’t mind at that point they weren’t more that confused teens who would do anything for their idols.
He got up, put some pants and took some random bottle from the floor and chug it. The burn in his throat wasn’t enough, all of them were still there, every thought was still there.
The door knocked, he couldn’t care less about what happens or who could that, after all, Daisy already said he could go fuck himself.
Apparently his fortuite romance with ignorancia has already left him behind, at that point in his mess he called life was too early for surrender and too late for a prayer.
He opened the door to see his manager, Steven Stone, living in his father’s orders and shadow Green supposed.
“Hey, Green, you have a gig so grab your stuff and let’s go.” Steven said in an authoritarian voice, Green found that quite attractive of the man.
He was blind by design, Green didn’t care anymore after all he bounded with his manager by being divided by deception but being together to rise. It still hurt after all.
“Come on, the concert is in almost a fucking day, besides, we still have plenty of time…” he said while unwrapping Steve’s tie.
“Green, we can’t keep doing this, what if Red or Blue find us, or my father?” the man said getting off Green’s hands.
“Like your father is one to talk… no problem, you are still the better Stone in the bed…” he said leaning into his neck and removing the tie. Steve pushed the young adult. “Well, you’re father is more into violence but if that’s what you want…” Green didn’t care anymore, he has already lose everything. He unbuttoned all of Steve’s shirt already.
What was the point of caring? His parents didn’t care in any time for him but most off all, his sister and grandfather didn’t are anymore… he couldn’t go to hell if he was already in there.
“They say the end is coming and I need to prepare!” jumps, dances, screams, everything, the world was reflected in their music. “We can’t go to hell if we’re already there!” then it ended, applauses and happiness. Sure, that was fulfilling but still not enough. “Thanks everyone for coming tonight, I know we had to cut our time here but me and my friends are so excited to be with you and let’s get ready with this…” Red exclaimed to be interrupted by the frenetic sound of Green’s guitar.
“Black sheep, come home…” the unison whisper of the crowd started, he licked his lips.
“Hello, again, friend of a friend I knew you when!” the drastic end, the erratic guitar and drums. “Our common goal was waiting for the world to end!” the claps started.
A moonlit starry night, it was quite beautiful, but for Blue it sucked just like everything. After all, truth was just a rule that she could bend at her please, it wasn’t a big deal after all. The restaurant was boring for her tastes, she only wanted to get out, but she promised for Giovanni and Silver that she would spend that time with them.
“Hey, Blue.” there he came, Silver, the one and only person she truly cared about. Caring, harsh, distant, mysterious, naive, strong and everything she could wish. “Sorry, but father said he couldn’t go out of his work, you know how it is…” excusing his father as always.
“It’s not a big deal…” she cracked the whip with that words, maybe they were truth but maybe don’t.
“Come on, Blue, he is our father, and he is proud of you.” he is your father, she wanted to say. She didn’t want Giovanni as his father and most of all she didn’t want Silver as his brother.
“Like I care…” she said while, grabbing a menu. “And how’s college?” she shape shifted the trick of the conversation not wanting keep talking about Giovanni.
“It’s great, I was admitted quite easily.” he said with a monotone voice. She thought that whoever that had for dad the richest, most corrupted and feared men in Kanto would have easy that stuff. “And how are Red and Green?” the red haired asked. She didn’t know how to answer, Red always seemed to be stressed or just plain distant, Green kept sleeping with Mr. Stone and that kept them high in Devon.
“Well… Red is somewhat stressed and Green is… more loose these times.” she really didn’t know a bit about her best friends.
“I hope you get a vacation, too much work could be harmful…” always caring for her…
Was he always that naïve? That innocent to not see what was happening. She hated Giovanni for taking everything for her at least anything she had now.
Her parents were murdered by The Masked Man who was later found and killed by Team Rocket as she knows it was because that man was a rogue assassin from that group and how curious that the men who was behind all that adopted her from the kindness of his heart.
And most of all Silver.
She’ll send her love from a wire, lift him every time everyone walks away from him, but her feelings would never reach out. After all, she was no more than his sister.
At least the loved she wanted wasn’t the same he felt toward her, and she wasn’t okay with that.
“It’s a mechanical… bull, the number one, you’ll take a ride from anyone, everyone wants a ride,” hysterical yells, he knew some people were crying, others were so wasted to even care, but this was how they made them feel alive. “pulls away, from you…” silence, destruction a death from a reborn. He could feel it everything and at the same time it was an infinite finite world of possibilities to end this.
He saw his partners, excited and full of energy, this was RGB, and they were that.
“Okay let’s give them a night so awesome they’ll have every other one that comes…” said Blue pulling her hair behind her ear.
“If I can’t kill myself, then let’s trigger a massive suicide…” Green cracked his knuckles.
“Was a long and dark december, from the rooftops I remember, there was snow, white snow” guitar and bass together, just like Red and Green since they were kids. And the drum entered with full force, that was the raw power of Blue in a sole sound. “Clearly I remember from the windows they were watching while we froze down below…”
Cold, that was the only thing that he felt.
“Sorry, Red, but we can't… I won’t keep with this…” the blonde told with a hint of sadness in her voice but most of all it was decision in her.
“Yellow, please, give me time, I… I still want to be with you, we will sort this out… please…” the one of yellow orbs was done, her future wasn’t going to be architectured by Red’s carnival of not caring, she’ll prefer lay low.
Red didn’t understand a but, if she loved him, won’t she let him know? His armour was hollow now, his emotions just died and hit the ground. He did everything he could, but his best wasn’t enough he tried but it wasn’t enough, his love wasn’t enough but most of all, he wasn’t enough.
“Red, it’s for the better, our lives are heading different directions… and I ratter bit mingle with yours…” his love was like a poem that Yellow unfold and then returned it to him. It seems that he was a captain of a sinking ship.
Their unwound future… now there was nothing.
“Yellow, you love me?” a harsh and desperate question for a desperate man, it was like a single thread of light and hope that refused to leave him.
“Yeah, and that’s exactly why we need to end this…” she said with a smile, no sadness in her, just a bright smile and a gentle voice. If she loved him why she’d let him go? “It was a pleasure, our time together I mean, sorry for this, but we deserve something we don’t provide each other.
He still didn’t understand, he was sure de was the love of her life, then, why?
“You promised me… you promised me, Yellow!” he tried screaming, but his pain had already transcended words.
Yellow only gave him a warm smile and walked away.
“I took my love down to a violet hill, there we sat in the snow. All the time she was silent still.” he looked down and pointed the microphone toward the audience. That was all his being in just one song.
“So if you love me… won’t you let me know?” they answered.
“So if you love me… won’t you let me know?” but most important, at the end, their music reflected their world.
#profanity //#pokespe AU fanfic contest#trainer red#trainer green#trainer blue#trainer yellow#not a quote#submission
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