#image ☽ i will find myself again

[jvmiel]

I love that I have these icons I just wish I had an EXCUSE

#ooc ☽ can you tell me a story? #image ☽ i will find myself again

[forever-rogue]

I haven't seen it yet but I've thought about it some times: Eddie (with plus size reader, bc I'm a big girl and I'd really just love to picture myself with him more clearly) where reader tells him she's pregnant (after they're both finished with HS some time), Eddie being a super supportive boyfriend during the pregnancy, all excited, even reads magazines and articles and books about it all and just being super happy and crying when the baby is born 🥺 and always so supportive and reassuring when reader has intense body image issues especially after giving birth. I would LOVE it if you're willing to write something like that 💛

He seems to be such a big softie and I imagine that he'd be an amazing father. Teaching his kids to play the guitar or literally any instrument, jamming out with them playfully to Metallica, draping his Dio vest around them and all that. Ugh. My heart. 😭🥺 sure he'd be scared to become like his own father but deep down we all know that will never happen and reader would always reassure him that he's doing a splendid job at being a dad 💛

AN | We have some baby daddy Eddie because…he’s the best and why not. Maybe, if y’all want we can do more dad Eddie 🥰

Warnings | None

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You weren’t stupid. 

You were a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. So when you started throwing up in the mornings, starting feeling nauseous, and experienced way too many emotions all at once, you knew something was up. That and the fact that your period was late….for the second month in a row. The first month you were willing to chalk up to stress; you were months away from finishing college and the reality that life was going to change again was enough to make you worry. But two months was worrisome. It hadn’t happened before. Shit. 

It was the early ‘90s and while science had come a long way, part of you still didn’t want to believe the results on the little plastic stick in your hand. Maybe it was a false positive…but no. That combined with everything told you that it definitely wasn’t false. 

“Shit,” you tossed the small plastic stick into the sink with a groan. You studied your reflection and shook your head at your teary eyed mirror self. Well. At least you had beaten teen pregnancy, although not by much. And at least you were almost finished with college - you wouldn’t be super far along by the time you were. And then you could have your baby and eventually find a job and then it would - stop. You were getting way too ahead of yourself. You didn’t even positively know you were pregnant. Not until you went to the doctor. And then there were still other options. 

Fuck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey space cadet,” Eddie laughed lightly as he waved his hand in front of your face, “you with me?”

“Huh?” you blinked a few times to get rid of the bleariness from your eyes before turning your attention to him. You were sitting on the couch, watching a movie after dinner. Well, he was watching, and you were panicking. But Eddie knew something was up; you weren’t curled into his side as you normally would be. You were on the other side and hunched into yourself with a blanket expression on your face, “y-yeah. ‘s all fine, love.”

“What’s wrong?” he wasn’t buying it in the slightest, “babe.”

“Nothing.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“It’s not-”

“You are too!”

“I’m pregnant,” those two little words, ones with enormous weight behind them, spilled from your lips before you could think about it. Eddie recoiled from how he’d been leaning towards you, his eyes narrowing in confusion, “I-I think. I, umm…I took a test today and it was positive.”

“Pregnant,” he repeated as you slowly nodded, eyes welling up with fresh tears, “wow.”

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” it was instinctive to deflect and apologize, despite the fact that you weren’t at fault, “I didn’t mean to…the condom must have broken or something.”

“Angel, why are you apologizing?”

“B-because?” he reached over and gently brushed away the tears that had fallen from your eyes, “I’m the one that’s pregnant. It’s my fault.”

“Absolutely not,” he took your chin in his and turned your face to his, “last time I checked it takes two for you to get pregnant. So, you know, that’s at least half my fault, but nobody’s at fault. It’s alright, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”

“Eddie,” you pulled his hand and huffed, “this is a baby we’re talking about, not just a decision like what we want for dinner or what concert we’re going to next. This is a huge thing. Like…whatever we do will change our lives forever.”

“I know,” he put his hands on your thighs and urged you closer to his warm frame. You hesitated for a moment before relaxing and shuffling over so he could pull you into his lap. A singular look into his big, soft brown eyes had you crying you again, tears running down your cheeks as you tried to stifle your cries. Eddie made a small sound before he wrapped his arms tightly around you as you buried your face into his chest, “I know, babe. Let it all out, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“How?” it was a muffled whimper against his neck.

“Because we’ve got each other,” a kiss was pressed to the side of your head, “and whatever you want to do, you’ll always have my full support. But look at this way - you’re just about done with school and I know you, my smart girl, will make it happen no matter what. I’ve got a decent job and with that and gigs we’re okay on money. We have our own place and we can turn the extra office and practice room into a nursery.”

“Eddie,” you turned and looked at him with a small, teary smile, “why do you always know what to say?”

“‘Cause I’m your boyfriend, duh,” he pressed a kiss to your lips, not minding the salty taste of your tears, “and I love you. Always.”

“What if I…what if I want to have an abortion?” you asked and his expression didn’t falter.

“Then that’s what you’ll do,” he stated simply, “it’s your body, your choice. I’ll be with you no matter what. And if you decide we want to wait to have little nuggets until way later that’s cool too.”

“Stop being so wonderful,” he took your face tenderly in his face before resting his forehead against yours. You knew - you’d always known - that he was the only man that you could ever imagine loving so fully and deeply, “I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you,” it was a soft whisper, barely audible but it still warmed your whole body, “we’ll figure this out, I swear.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Quit staring weirdo,” you hadn’t even checked to see if he was looking, but you could feel his intense stare on you regardless. You turned out of the closet and found him leaning against the doorframe, a cheeky smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest, “Eds.”

“Can’t help it,” he grinned, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Ugh,” you teasingly groaned, “such a sap. I don’t feel so beautiful right now…more like a giant beach ball.”

It was about halfway through your pregnancy and you were definitely feeling very pregnant these days. You’d started to show but it was like overnight you had grown a much larger bump which caused you to spiral. Suddenly it all seemed so overwhelming; you were going to have a small human to take care of, you still needed to finish the nursery, and you hadn’t even thought about getting a job after having the baby and none of your pants fit right and it was everything all at once. But all your worries and fears had subsided as soon as Eddie had wrapped you up in his arms and promised that everything would work out. 

“Well, you are a beautiful beach ball,” he snorted in amusement as you glowered at him. He held up his hands in mock surrender before coming over to and pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I’m kidding, babe. You’re even more beautiful than the day we met, and now you’re growing our kid? That’s pretty fucking metal and makes you that much more beautiful.”

“This kid’s already got you wrapped around their little finger, don’t they?” he grinned and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “and their mom does too. Babe, did you know that the baby’s like the size of an ear of corn now?”

“Corn?” you grinned and he nodded eagerly, his curls bouncing roguishly, “that’s interesting. Let’s hope it comes out as a human and not a vegetable…or fruit. How did you know that?”

“You’re the one doing the hard work so I figured I gotta pull my pre-dad weight and do the behind the scenes stuff!” oh. You were absolutely and wholly in love with this man. Tears welled up in your eyes and pearled down your cheeks, causing you to sniffle, "oh no, sweetheart. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Was it something I said? Did?"

“N-no,” you shook your head and clung onto him tighter, “I mean yes…but no. ‘m just all sorts of emotional these days. You are just so…wonderful. I love you so much.”

“Oh,” his cheeks flushed a pretty pastel pink as you peppered kisses all over his face, “I love you. I just…I want to support you every way I can, you know? You’re the one doing the hardest work of all and I feel like I’m here doing nothing.”

“You’re so wrong, Eddie Munson,” you took his face in your hands and looked at him with the softest look on your face, “you’ve been so good to me this whole time; you’ve been there for me through everything. You’ve taken care of me and looked up and done so many things to make this whole pregnancy better. I don’t think I could have survived it without you. You’re going to be a great dad, Eds. You already are.”

“I’m going to try,” he promised, “I’m going to give this baby everything I never had. I want them to have all the love in the world. You and the baby.”

“I already do,” it was a soft promise that caused his heart to feel like it was full to bursting, “and so do they. You know, if I had to choose anyone in the world to be my baby daddy, I’m glad it turned out to be you.”

“Baby daddy?” dark brows rose in amusement and almost disappeared into his hairline. 

“Yeah,” you answered simply as you turned back to the closet in a desperate attempt to find something decent and comfortable to wear, “we’re not married so you’re my baby daddy.”

“Not married yet.”

“Oh? You gonna marry me, Munson?”

“Duh, baby,” his smile was so large that it seemed magical, “I’ve been planning that since the day I met you.”

“You’re a real romantic, you know that?”

‘Only for you,” he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting a hand on your belly, “and for the nugget.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had been right of course. Eddie had been smitten with your son from the moment he was born and he’d first held him in his arms. 

Jamie ended up being a little mini-me version of his father with those same big brown doe eyes and unruly brown curls. There was no denying that it was his son; not that he would ever want that. He was obsessed with his son, just as he was with you. The best things to ever happen he often claimed. You felt the same, naturally. 

And with every passing day, he proved just how wonderful of a father he was. The best of course, just like you knew he would be. And he'd helped you through so many issues, including all the bad thoughts you let seep in about your body during and after your pregnancy. He was patient and kind, and made you feel so incredibly beautiful and loved. Which you were, of course.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Where are my boys?” It had been a long day of work for you and there had been nothing you wanted more than to come home and pile up with the two of them and get all of the cuddles. You set your bag down but heard no response. Just before you could call out to them again, you heard a hushed voice and some soft music coming from down the hallway. You followed the sounds and peeked through the open door to Jamie’s room. Not surprisingly you found the two of them together, Eddie with his guitar in his hand and his clone sitting across from him, draped in Eddie’s entirely too big jean jacket. You pushed the door open gently to keep from startling either of them, “there you are, my loves!”

“Mommy,” your son was up and padded over to you as best as he could before wrapping his little arms around your legs. You instantly softened and leaned and gently ruffle through his dark mop of curls, “missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Eddie was practically beaming from his spot on the floor, setting aside his guitar to come over to you. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, sighed softly when he saw how sweetly you were looking at him.

“I missed both of my boys so very much.”

“Up,” the little one turned to you and extended his little arms up to you with an eager expression on his face, “mommy!”

“Sorry bud,” before he could protest, Eddie had scooped him up in his arms and settled him on his hip. Jamie pouted, a trait that was so reminiscent of his father, and looked between the two of you, “mommy can’t pick you up right now, you’re too big.”

“But you pick me up,” he protested with a little huff, “I want mommy.”

“Mommy can’t pick you up because she’s growing your sister,” Eddie explained softly, as he had on several other occasions. You weren’t sure if he just didn’t understand the concept of you being pregnant and him getting a little sister or if he willfully chose to ignore that little fact, “and I’m not so you’re stuck with daddy for now.”

“Okay,” he leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder as you chuckled in amusement, “I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too bud,” he promised, “you getting tired?”

“‘m not,” a weak little protest.

“How about a nap before dinner?” you suggested softly, “and then after dinner we can watch a movie?”

“Fine,” a dramatic sigh escaped his lips. This was undoubtedly Eddie Munson’s son, “can we please have chicken nuggies for dinner?”

“I think we can make that happen baby,” you promised, motioning for Eddie to put him in his bed. He was so tender as he tucked the young boy in, smoothing over his hair before kissing his forehead. 

“I’ll see you in a little while bud,” he turned to you and kissed you before gently rubbing your still small bump, “let me know if you need any help.”

“I’ve got him,” you grinned, “I’ll be out in a few and if it’s longer than that, I fell asleep and need you to come and rescue me.”

“I can do that, princess.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“You’re the most metal ever!”

“Yeah?” he asked as Jamie nodded eagerly, “so are you, kid.”

You exchanged a look with Eddie and his whole face was lit up, and he felt like he was going to melt into a puddle with all the love he held for the two of you. Three, he reminded himself, soon to be a family of four, “I think you’re pretty metal too, babe.”

“We make a pretty metal family!”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you

[marvelmusing]

Secret

A Glitter & Gold Drabble

Pairing: Darklina x Fem!Reader

Summary: As the three of you grow closer together, Alina wants to know you like no one else does.

Warnings [18+]: brief mentions of masturbation.

My Masterlist

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“Tell us a secret,” Alina demands.

Her hands wander over your bare legs casually, up your thighs to slide beneath the skirt of your dress. The eagerness of her touch flusters you, though the other people in the club don’t pay much attention to the three of you tucked away in a quiet booth.

“A secret?”

She nods, picking up her cocktail to provide you with a sip of the beverage as she holds it up to your lips. A small hum warms the back of your throat as you swallow it down.

“Something that absolutely no one else knows about you.”

Warmth burns over your cheeks, as a particular thought crosses your mind. Observing your flustered state, Aleksander smiles widely.

“Go on,” he encourages you. At some point he had draped your legs over his lap, giving Alina ease of access to your thighs.

Shaking your head, you hide your face with your hands in embarrassment.

“No, I can’t.” Alina nudges your knee gently in protest which has a small smile flickering over your features. “You’ll never talk to me again.”

Aleksander curls his fingers around each of your wrists, guiding them away from your face to reveal your expression to them both. Once again, you shake your head.

“Does it involve us?” she asks, her dark eyes sparkling with intrigue.

Closing your eyes, you nod. He ducks his head down, his nose brushing against your temple as he murmurs quietly,

“You can tell us.”

His eyes bore into yours as you turn your head sharply to look at him. He nods slowly in encouragement though he seems to notice the lingering apprehension in your eyes and the tension of your body between the two of them.

Alina squeezes your thigh gently which eases some of the discomfort at the thought of speaking your secret aloud. Aleksander strokes a finger along the length of your jawline, his thumb circling beneath your lower lip as your eyes bounce between them both.

Her gaze flickers down to your chest, rising which each breath you take and heat burns through your body.

“We won’t turn away from you,” Aleksander assures you in a whisper.

“I-”

Your eyes flutter closed.

“Sometimes, I-”

Squeezing your eyes shut tighter, you force the words out, features creasing together in anticipation of their reaction.

“Sometimes, I touch myself whilst looking at your wedding photos.”

There’s a long, frightening pause and you keep your eyes closed as you begin to ramble.

“I found them by accident, I promise. I was just looking at Alina’s portfolio for inspiration and then I found them and I just couldn’t stop thinking about them.”

Despite the desperate urge to shut your mouth and stay quiet, you continue speaking.

“It’s just that you both look so incredible and I can’t stop imagining you on your wedding night.”

Nerves bloom in your stomach at the thought of their reaction. Will they be flattered? Put off? Will they ask you to leave? You will have to make an excuse to Nik and Zoya about why you’re leaving so early in the evening. Then Aleksander breathes out a soft chuckle.

“You haven’t even seen the best photos.”

When you find the courage to open your eyes, you find Alina scrolling through her phone. She hands you the little device and your gaze falls onto the images on the screen.

“This one is my favourite,” she tells you.

“Oh my god.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @slytherheign @ellooo0ooo @vixenofcourse @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jane-arthur @ilikefictionmen @budugu @watersquirtpewpewboomm @mysweetlittledesire @dhampiravidi @morrigan-crowmwell

S&B Tag List: @motheroffae @daddymaster21

Aleksander M Tag List: @nyctophiliiiiaaa @jazmin2211 @wooya1224 @seronsalk @veescorneroftheworld

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors @noortsshift @aikeia @weallhaveadestiny @two-unbeatable-beaters

#glitter & gold au #darklina x reader #aleksander morozova x reader x alina starkov #aleksander morozova x reader #alina starkov x reader #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone x reader

[neteyamb]

ashes to ashes: chapter five

pairing: loak x f!omatikaya reader

summary: as a healer, y/n had taken an oath to treat every patient with their best interests in mind. this hadn’t been a problem, until loak’s petty injuries become a routine. she has to swallow her pride and feign concern, feign kindness, and face the ugly hate that has been brewing between them for years. 

tags: enemies to lovers, slight angst, best friend kiri, emotionally constipated aka on-brand loak, language

word count: 1.4k

notes: im on vacation, my deepest symapthies go out to myself for making me wait so long to find out what happens next

⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･

billie bossa nova: love when it makes you lose your bearings / it might be more of an obsession / you better lock your phone / and look at me when you're alone / won't take a lot to get you goin' / i'm sorry if it's torture though / that heavy breathin' on the floor / i’m yours, i'm yours 

nova – a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obsurity

loak jumps back from you, heart in his throat like a deer caught in the headlights. he attempted to choke out a response, but his mind was slurred and his mouth had become dry, leaving his lips parted with a shaky breath. his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, almost as if he was trying to remember the fluidity of your own against it. he shook his head in a thrashing manner, snapping out of his daze. your fingers itched to touch his face, arms, chest, anything, but you were unsure if it was out of pleasure or anger. 

slowly, loak began to speak, tearing you away from your inner conflict. he rolled his tongue over his lips before a coy smirk appeared. “same time next week?” you felt your face heat and opaque hate flooded into your stomach. of course he was toying with you; this man had so readily disregarded your career just moments ago. forcing yourself to hold his gaze, you take the bait. “are you deaf? i said get the fuck out of here,” you step towards him, shoving at his chest. “i hate you. don’t bother coming back to maiya’s hut, you’ve made it clear we aren’t needed.” your face sours at the image of him being left to fend for himself with a serious injury, but you quickly crush the worry when you recall his earlier words. he can go fuck himself.

✶✶✶✶

loak’s eyes darken as he walks away, fingernails forming deep crescents in his palms. it was his own fault. still, he blamed you equally; it was you that had approached him, you that provoked him into a physical fight. he only has so much willpower, and your baiting taunts were spoken through soft, inviting lips. for a split second, he was smug about having shut you up the way he had, but it was gone in an instant, replaced with the ugly, consuming fear that you would never speak to him again. despite your complicated relationship with him, you were always keen to jump back in the fighting ring the next day, and he had let himself rely on it too much.

he entered the family hut with his head tilted down, pointedly avoiding kiri’s questioning stare. he looked dishevelled, and his lips were swollen. she furrowed her brows. only y/n could make him as riled up as he looked; he would brush anybody else off with ease. “did you just suck face with a poisoned fruit or something?” his shoulders rose towards his ears as a shiver ran up his spine. “almost.” shocked, she dropped the wooden bowl she had been carving out. it rattled against the floor, completely forgotten the second it had escaped her grasp. “you made out with someone? you?” kiri has never been known for being subtle. or slow. he could see her visibly piecing together a puzzle in her brain, connecting this to their last conversation. “wait–” she starts.

loak closes the gap between them in four strides, frantically looking around the empty room as he presses a hand over her mouth. “quiet,” he hisses. kiri’s loud voice is muffled for a few seconds before she resorts to licking a long stripe on his hand. he jumps back, wiping it off aggressively on her arm. “ew, what the fuck?” she pays his complaint no mind. “you what the fuck. you kissed y/n?” she made a show of theatrically looking up at the roof in distress. “you’re in for it now.” he leans back, apprehensively looking away. “it was an accident,” he responds in defense. she balks at him. “look, i know. just forget it, i’m sure she’ll do the same.” it was an optimistic thought. 

✶✶✶✶

you had not forgotten about it. days had gone past and you were still livid; loak had ruined any possible salvation of your relationship with the words he had said, and then proceeded to shove his tongue down your throat. still, you were angrier at yourself for the way you had readily accepted it.

avoiding him had proven itself to be a difficult task; dinners were communal and you could feel him staring you down expectantly, daring you to slip into your usual snide banter with him. what's worse is you had additionally been dodging kiri; you were sure she knew something was up, and you had no interest in being reminded.

you trudge into maiya’s hut, desperate for a distraction. you had yet to retrieve fresh plants from your regular gathering area this week, and stock was running low. she was beginning to ask questions. maiya’s eyes were trained on your stiff movements as you began to grind a paste, and she was worried that if you were to grit your teeth any more, they’d be sandpapered down to nonexistance. she placed a warm hand over your own. “y/n. take a break, maite. you can join me after you get some more supplies, hmm?” maiya was an assertive person; you knew she wasn’t asking for your permission on this. unwillingly, you set the bowl down and pick up your basket.

✶✶✶✶

loak was growing impatient. if that day by the creek made him uneasy, this was threefold. without your daily arguments, he had no outlet for pent-up stress and had been snippy with his father on one too many occasions. jake wasn’t a fan of this new, brash behaviour, and the lecture loak had received about it only served to make him more restless. you were like a nova; condensing all of your muddied emotions to suddenly clash divinely with his own, only to dissolve from his grasp all at once. abrasive frustration was eating away at his insides as the days went by, and he was more angry than ever. despite its overbearing presence, he couldn’t bring himself to regret what he had done. 

loak watched your sudden dismissal from the healing hut, and determinedly recreated your footsteps into the forest. behind you, his eyes traced the slight sway of your hips and the gentle thumps of the gathering basket against your thigh. loak’s face twisted; he knew it was unfair of him to be irritated that you didn’t notice his presence once he had gotten close, but you had been actively ignoring him the whole week. he hadn’t gotten a rest from kiri’s interventions either; she would moan to him constantly about how it’s all his fault she’s been shut out by you and that he’d better fix it. he’s deluded himself to believe he was confronting you because of the soft spot he has for his sister, but it was in reality entirely for selfish purposes.

heart pounding, loak grips your bicep and flips you around to face him. “do you think this is funny? because i’m not laughing.” his syrupy eyes bore into yours, voice gravelly. you instinctually back up a bit, the small of your back now digging into rigid bark as you shift under his gaze. the corner of your mouth twitches in discomfort at his proximity. “what, have you gotten yourself another wound you want me to fix? not gonna happen, buster,” you respond evasively. loak grew more frustrated, but after so much silence, your voice rang in his ears as if it was his first time hearing it.

loak exhales sharply through his nose, involuntarily taking a few steps back. he doesn’t give you a chance to relax as he jumps head-first into the root of the issue. “i know you play a vital role in the clan. i never should have said you didn’t.” you eye him quizzically, waiting for him to continue. he struggled to keep himself from arguing against his own words, but if he wanted you to listen, they were unavoidable. “you were right to say my grandmother would be insulted,” he adds awkwardly, gesticulating poorly with his hands. it left a bad taste in his mouth, but after mulling the accusation over for hours on end, he came to the gruelling realization that it was accurate. he had never been disrespectful to moat; in truth, he actually admired healers a lot for the work they did. but watching as you would cradle him, care for him, all while having the upper hand, forced him to confront new feelings he was scared of. he will admit, it was a little immature in hindsight. you offer him no mercy, remaining tight-lipped and unmoving. persistent, he grunts his final proposal to you with an uneven tone, as if the word was unknown to him. “truce?”

⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･

notes: get a room you guys

taglist: @weasleytwinwheezes @mrslandryy @amortencjja

#atwow loak #avatar #avatar loak #avatar twow #avatar way of water #loak angst #loak sully #loak x reader #loak x you #atwow #loak fic #loak smut #loak fanfiction #loak slowburn #atwow fanfiction #atwow x reader #atwow x y/n #atwow kiri #kiri avatar #avatar wow #avatar the way of water #loak fluff #neteyam x reader

[joshscurlyhair]

☽ 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 - 𝕛𝕠𝕤𝕙 ☽

Summary: Y/N has been dreaming of an unknown man for a while now that it is making her wondering who he is. After doing some research she finds out he’s a musician for a band. One day she walks around her town to get some air when suddenly she bumps into the man who’s from her dreams. Has he been dreaming of her to?

Word count: 1.6k { AUTHORS NOTE: Thoughts on Part 2? I also really enjoyed making this and thought the song fit perfectly along with the story vibe. Happy reading! 🍂🤎} ☾Join the Taglist!☽

Everything about him was ethereal

His pretty brown eyes

His fluffy curly hair

His perfect smile along with his perfect teeth-

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Your thoughts were then cut off by your coffee machine beeping. You poured yourself a cup of coffee into your mug for the morning. You then walked over to your windows and opened the blinds letting some light into the house showing the pretty leaves that were outside on the fall crisp morning. You sip on your coffee and softly smiled at the sight. You then decided to sit down at the kitchen table and wrote in your planner, writing some to-do’s for the week. As you were writing your to-do’s you couldn’t stop thinking about that man in your dreams you were dreaming months about.

MONTHS!

You’ve never seen this man in your life before and you were dreaming of him for months now. You snap out of your thoughts and quickly grabbed your laptop and headed to Google and decided to do some digging on who exactly this man was, or even if he was real. You took another sip of your hot coffee feeling the hot liquid in your mouth. You pushed your clear glasses up to your eyes and started to stare at the screen for a bit thinking exactly what to search for first and how to word it.

You close your eyes to see if that would help you remember him more.

You were at their concert, all you could focus on was him and all he could focus on was you just staring into your eyes

His beautiful brown curly hair

His perfect smile

His facial hair that rested above his lip and on his chin

“Goddammit what can I type?” I say to myself staring at the Google search bar trying to think what to type. You shook your head and began to type:

Lead singer with brown curly hair and facial hair

Your eyes began to look through the images seeing if any of them were him.

Nope nothing

“Umm” you say as you began to think again of what to type.

Singer with curls and wears jumpsuits

You began to search with your eyes again looking at the images and found nothing again. You let out a loud groan and began typing more things that could possibly fit to get any picture or information of who this man is.

—————-

It’s been almost two hours now searching this man up and no luck. You let out a groan and started looking at the ground thinking what to do.

Guess I’ll never know who this man is

You stood up and put your coffee cup in the dishwasher then began to make some lunch for the day. You opened the fridge and start to assemble a sandwich. You decided to bring your computer up to the kitchen counter and put on a YouTube video while you made your lunch. You opened the YouTube app and began analyzing the recommended videos that popped up. You then just decided to click on a suggested playlist that was on your feed and began jamming to a couple of songs, swinging your hips side to side along with the music.

Once you were done making your lunch you sat your plate down onto the kitchen table about to sit down when suddenly you hear a guitar riff coming through your computer speaker. You never heard of the song but it sounded really good. You bobbed your head along with the music. Sounded like it was a live version since you heard what sounded like people screaming in the background.

“Champagne, caviar anyone?”

A male voice said though your computer speakers. You look up from your plate and furrow your eyebrows. Something about that voice, you couldn’t put your finger on it. You decided to turn your computer around so it was facing you and you laid eyes on the video that was right in front of you.

“Holy shit..” You let out

It was HIM

You dropped your fork on the table and pushed your plate away and brought the computer to you watching the video. “Holy shit it’s him”

You watch them preform, he was so angelic to watch. The way his hands moved, the way his hair swayed along with his movements, the way he flashed his perfect teeth with a smile.

You look at the bottom of the screen and saw the title, “Greta Van Fleet - Live at the Red Rocks Amphitheater”

You then clicked onto Google straight away and typed in the bands name. You looked at the images and saw him and his band mates, you gave a smile seeing him. He’s so pretty

Josh. Josh Kiszka is his name

You looked up his name onto Google now. You press ‘ enter ‘ and look at the thousands of pictures of him that laid before you.

Wow, this is the man I’ve been dreaming of. A man who I’ve never seen till today. He’s so fuckin beautiful

But why? Why am I dreaming of him?

You shut your computer needing to clear your head

2:30 pm

Read your phone

You stood up and got your coat so you could go for a walk to clear your mind

You closed the door behind you and heard the crunches beneath your feet from the leaves. You look around in awe at the sight of the beautiful fall day. It was just so pretty.

You continued to walk for a while until you felt like getting another coffee

“Ugh should I?” You say looking at your favorite coffee shop in front of you stopping you in your tracks. “Yeah I should”

You headed inside and ordered your per usual fall coffee order.

“For Y/N!”

I looked up from my phone and grabbed my coffee and said thank you before leaving the café.

I look down at my coffee in my hand while walking as I took a small sip closing my eyes

I felt a harsh bump on my shoulder. The hot coffee then splashed out of my cup and onto my hand. “Ow, shit” I say because of the coffee being hot.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry are you okay?-“

The man says before we both look at each other and immediately stare into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever

It was him, Josh. The man who I’ve been dreaming of

Why was he looking at me like that? Like he knew me? Could he have been dreaming of me too?

He clears his throat and began to talk again, “Please let me buy you another coffee”

He says still staring into my eyes like he’s seen me before

Wow, he’s just as beautiful in person

I nod to his response and we both headed inside the coffee shop both getting our coffees. “Um, do you mind if we sit down together?” He says holding his coffee in his hand looking at me giving me warm eyes. I nod and we both sit down looking at each other once more.

“I’m sorry for staring-“ he starts

“-No I’m sorry as well” I say as my cheeks flush a deep red looking down.

“It’s just… This is gonna sound crazy but, I think I’ve been dreaming of you. And it’s odd because I’ve never seen you before til now.. That’s why I was staring at you, I just couldn’t believe it. Apologies if I made you feel uncomfortable” He says looking down at his coffee feeling embarrassed thinking you probably thought he was crazy.

Holy shit.. He was dreaming of me too

“I’m Jo-“ He starts but I finished for him, “Josh”

He looks up and stares at me giving me a warm smile now knowing I was dreaming of him too.

“Were you dreaming of me too?” He says now leaning a bit closer. I give a warm smile and nod. Josh let’s out a huff in relief, “Holy shit this is crazy” he whisper yells getting excited showing his perfect white teeth. I get excited along with him and chuckle.

“May I add that you’re just as beautiful in person then you were in my dreams?” He says looking up at me giving me a smile showing his dimples. I chuckle and start to blush, “You as well Josh” I add.

We both then began staring into each other’s eyes

RING RING RING

Josh’s gaze now drifts at his phone that was buzzing. “Ugh it’s my brother, hold on darling”

I blush again as I take another sip from my coffee trying to hide the redness that spread across my face.

“Okay okay” He says a bit annoyed on the phone. He then ends the call and looks at me. “That was my brother, he says he needs me now for some new album ideas”

He notices your face forms a bit of a frown, “Hey, this is crazy that this happened and I think both of us are still trying to process it haha but, I think you’re absolutely beautiful and I wanna get to know you even more” He says in awe at the sight of you.

He drops his phone on counter in front of you. “Put your number in darling” He says winking at you. You then started to type your number in the new contact, putting your name as well. Once you were done he takes his phone looking at what you put, “Y/N.. That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person” He says smiling showing his dimples that were engraved into his cheeks. “I’ll text you and we can plan something soon!”

You nod and he headed out the door giving you a cheesy smile and a wave goodbye

Wow… The man of my dreams is absolutely adorable

You then chuckle at your thoughts and took another sip of your coffee

#greta van fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka smut #daniel wagner #gvf fanfiction #sammy kiszka #danny wagner #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka #joshua kiszka #fanfic #fandom #peaceful army #Spotify

[writer-in-theory]

Better Man (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: A continuation of Begin Again in which Reader and Spencer realize recovery isn't linear, and comfort ensues. (read Begin Again here)

Series Summary: A mini-series continuing the Loving You Was Red series of oneshots based on Red by Taylor Swift, this time focusing on the songs recently released from the vault for Red (Taylor’s Version).

Request?: No

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, Discussions of Past Abuse, Heavy Discussions of Recovery from Abuse, honestly just please be careful if you’re sensitive to discussions of relationship abuse, Discussions of body image, Blood, Self-inflicted injury (NOT sh), Depiction of a panic attack, There’s a happy ending I promise

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: I’m sorry? This is probably the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It hits close to home and maybe that’s why I kept delaying the release. I’m a little scared to post this, but I’m also really proud of how it turned out. Please remember to take care of yourselves and please don’t read this if it will trigger you. I love y’all and here have this!

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•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

"I wish it wasn't 4 AM, standing in the mirror saying to myself, 'You know you had to do it,’ and I know the bravest thing I ever did was run..."

What began in a coffee shop quickly turned into something far greater than you ever expected. You’d half-expected Spencer to never call again, or for you to eventually decide you weren’t ready for a relationship. Instead, the two of you kept seeing each other, continuing to choose one another.

First, in parks and other coffee shops around town. You’d go on dates in between his cases, sometimes at odd hours to accommodate his busy FBI schedule. When he was traveling, the two of you would talk on the phone for as long as you could, spending as much time as possible getting to know one another.

Eventually, it turned into nights at his apartment. It was cozy there; the green walls darkening the space and making it seem homier. The two of you would sit wrapped up in blankets on the couch, showing each other the movies you both loved and excitedly talking through most of them. Other nights you’d lay against his chest, hearing his heartbeat as he talked about whatever it was that interested him that day. You loved hearing the way Spencer would rush through the words, tumbling over them as he sought to reach the interesting bit of it all. His hands would gesture about until the explanation was over and then would find their home against you.

It was comfortable with Spencer.

Some days it was so comfortable that you nearly forgot what had been holding you back from love for so long. If it truly felt like this, why hadn’t you been out searching for the feeling at every opportunity?

“Did you know it’s almost been six months and I’ve never seen your apartment?” Spencer asked one night, both of you already settled into his bed for the night.

Other times, the reality of your situations would hit with such force it left you breathless.

There had been a reason for avoiding your apartment, of course, but he didn’t know that. Six months in and still you had yet to tell him the truth of how you came to meet Penelope. All he knew was that you’d had a bad breakup, that she’d consoled you after. You hadn’t told him that every time you walked into your apartment living room, you were reminded of that night almost two years ago.

How could you possibly explain to him that you felt like a different person in that place? That the second you stepped inside you were crushed with the weight of memories you didn’t need or want? How could you possibly tell Spencer you didn’t want him tainted by that place, ruined by the dark memories created there?

It was almost impressive, the way you’d managed to avoid it time and time again.

“Huh, really?” you answered, trying to feign nonchalance in hopes he would forget about it.

Spencer wasn’t the type to forget things though. In fact, so far he’d been quite the opposite; latching onto everything you said and storing it away for safekeeping.

“It’s okay if you don’t trust me there. I’m just curious about what it’s like.”

“Oh, it’s really nothing special,” you tried to brush off, thankful that you’d chosen to lay with your back pressed to his chest so he couldn’t see your expression. It hurt to know that Spencer thought you couldn’t trust him, but what choice did you have?

“Of course it’s special, it’s a part of you,” Spencer answers immediately, his hold around your middle squeezing tighter for just a second. It had taken a while for him to be comfortable enough with your touch, but now that he was there was hardly a time he didn’t have a hand on you. “Someone’s home says a lot about them as a person. It’s their safe space, the place they collect everything that’s important to them.”

“Is that why I’m here all the time, because I’m important to you?” You teased, but Spencer’s voice was completely serious as he returned,

“Of course you are, Y/N.”

And how could you possibly refuse him? So you nodded, squeezing your hand against the back of his on your stomach. “It’ll be six months on Friday. How about you come over then? We can make dinner, find a movie or something.”

“That sounds perfect.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The second you suggested it, you knew it was a mistake.

Now it was Friday and you were wondering if it was too late to cancel. Suddenly everything in the apartment reminded you of your ex, and you wondered if Spencer would be able to see the ghost of him there too.

Still, you pulled on an outfit worthy of a date and told yourself it would be okay. It had to be okay; there really wasn’t any other option because you liked Spencer a lot, and you knew eventually you could love him. Maybe you already did.

The knock on your front door was enough to pull a surprised yelp from you, heart racing and hands shaking as you whipped around to face it.

Sometimes it was hard to convince your brain it was safe after trauma. The brain gets so good at protecting you in its survival mode that it forgets it doesn’t always have to. You know that Spencer isn’t a danger; he’s not the same kind of man that your ex was. Still, as you crossed the room to open the front door, alarm bells rang in your head to warn you of the incoming danger.

Without knowing he had to, Spencer consistently reminded you that he was everything your ex was not. He had a small smile on his face from the moment you opened the door, reminding you that he wasn’t coming home in a bad mood.

“Happy six-month anniversary,” he greeted as you let him past the doorframe.

“I haven’t celebrated one of those since elementary school,” you couldn’t help but laugh, knowing even still that the celebration was just an excuse to have a date here. Somehow it seemed fitting for you two to celebrate something so small and sweet. With Spencer, it felt like you hadn’t ever dated anyone before like this was all brand new. With him, it felt like a beginning. “I thought we could make that pasta you told me about. Penny gave me the recipe from your friend.”

“Rossi’s carbonara?” Spencer asked, seeing the ingredients already laid out on the kitchen island. When you nodded he added, “that sounds perfect.”

So in the meantime, you showed him about the apartment. The living room where Derek had to pry your ex-boyfriend off of you, where he had screamed at you so loudly that Penny had heard from her apartment. The bathroom which had become your only safe room for months, the place where you could run the shower hot and cry so you wouldn’t have to in front of your ex. The bedroom, where your ex consistently held you close and reminded you how impossible it would be to ever become deserving of him. The bedroom with that damn mirror he’d bought to make sure you looked good enough to stand beside him daily.

The mirror you’d inadvertently stopped in front of. While you were trying to break many of the habits and routines your ex had instilled in you, the mirror was one that was the toughest. Every time you passed it, you found yourself staring at every tiny detail of yourself; checking that every hair was in place, every bit of makeup perfectly applied, clothes fitting perfectly to complement your figure. It’s like you were still checking, still making sure you were good enough.

“Thank you,” Spencer spoke softly, coming to stand behind you and wrap his arms around you.

“For what?” you asked, moving your gaze to look at him in the mirror’s reflection.

“Bringing me here, letting me into your safe space,” he explained, and you wished you could tell him. You wished you could open your mouth and admit that he was your safe space, the home you wanted to return to every day. This was just an apartment you were too scared to get rid of, a place you slept in every night.

“Well, Doctor Profiler, what does my apartment say about me?” you asked, trying to keep the mood light before you said something you’d regret, “Honestly.”

“Honestly?” Spencer took another second to glance around the bedroom before focusing back on your mirror reflection. “There aren’t many decorations. That would mean you’re either a minimalist or you don’t view this place as a permanent home. It’s clean, almost obsessively clean. Everything about this place is perfect, not a single thing out of place. You care about how it looks, how you’ll be perceived based on your apartment’s appearance. How am I doing so far?”

“Pretty damn well,” you answered back, suddenly feeling as though the mirror might swallow you whole if you looked at it any further. You didn’t want to give Spencer the chance to look into it and see everything you hated, all of the scars you’d tried desperately to hide from him.

So you pulled from his grasp, ignoring the surprised expression on his face to make your quick retreat to the kitchen. You hated the way relief flooded your chest when Spencer said your apartment was clean, a reminder of the way you’d kept it spotless for your ex.

It was easier to focus on prepping the vegetables. It was easy to guide your shaking hands to the knife, to gather up the onions, and neatly chop them. You didn’t have to think about the way Spencer was looking at you as if he was trying to read into your actions. He probably was. He’d already told you he made a point not to profile his loved ones, but you knew it had to be one of those things that were impossible to completely turn off.

“Did I say something wrong?” Spencer asked, voice smaller than what you were used to. It reminded you of the coffee shop, the way he’d hesitantly admitted that he didn’t typically go on dates.

Focus on the vegetables. It was easier, that way you didn’t have to see the hurt in his eyes as he misread your actions. “No, you didn’t,” you answered succinctly, trying not to reveal just how shaken you were.

Because within half an hour of Spencer being in this place, you were falling back into your old habits. Wanting the place absolutely spotless for him, being overjoyed by his praise. Even standing at that mirror with him, wondering if you looked good enough for him. Everything you feared was happening and there wasn’t much you could do about it. Had Chris truly ruined everything for you? Had he managed to taint even the most precious thing in your life even from so far away?

How far did his reach go? Would you ever be free from him?

“Y/N, Y/N, please talk to me,” Spencer pleaded, but you kept chopping. The speed was increasing as you willed your focus back to it. Knife up, knife down, scrape the chopped pieces out of the way, repeat.

Maybe there would always be a specter looming over your life, whispering dangerous words in your ear. Maybe you weren’t ready for a relationship, or maybe Spencer would see how you were tonight and would want to run far away. Why would he want to stay with you after seeing the way another man had already broken you?

“Darling, please, stop,” Spencer continued, “you’re having a panic attack.”

Then it happened.

It was an innocent motion, truly, but Spencer’s hand reached out to stop yours from cutting vegetables. Like a switch had been flipped, your brain sent you straight back to survival mode. He was going to hit you. So you let out a shriek, flinching and moving both of your hands to protect the vulnerable parts of your body.

“Fuck,” Spencer hissed, and you’d never heard such a crude obscenity from him without proper reason. The reason was revealed to you when you moved your hands back down from in front of your face, seeing the red bubbling up from the cut on his palm. The cut you’d made when you’d jerked away from him.

Oh, G-d.

“I’m so sorry,” you choked out, letting the knife clatter to the floor as though it burned to hold it anymore. It happened. You’d spent so much time worrying about how you’d hurt Spencer with your broken pieces, and here he was bleeding in your apartment.

“It’s okay, it’s superficial,” Spencer tried to reassure you, “it doesn’t even need stitches.”

He tried, but all you could see was the red that you’d created, the lifeblood you made spill out of him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You repeated it like a mantra, telling yourself that if you said it enough maybe one of you would believe it.

You couldn’t be here. There was blood and you’d hurt Spencer. You’d hurt him and he was still looking at you like you were something to be saved, to be cherished. No, you couldn’t stand to see that expression after all that had happened.

So you bolted to the bedroom, shutting the door with a wild slam. Like a moth to a lamp, you ended up standing in front of that damned mirror again. You could see tear tracks shining on your face, though you were so numbed you hadn’t even felt them fall. Every muscle in your body was tensed and you were shaking so badly you could see your reflection quiver.

Spencer got hurt. His hand had been there to comfort you, to let you know that you could let him in. All he had ever done was prove to you that he was not your ex, and still you’d been afraid of him. You’d actually flinched away from him, all because of this damn apartment.

Because of this damn mirror. This mirror, designed to show off only the worst parts of you. The parts even you were scared of, the places that Chris had sewn in remnants of himself. It was clear tonight that you would never be free. He’d taken you and turned you into something unlovable, something designed to hurt the ones you loved the way you’d once been hurt.

For so long you’d kept it in. Spencer was so sweet and so good. He hunted down bad guys for a living and never once complained about it despite the weariness he often came home with. You couldn’t show him those parts of you too, the jagged edges left behind from when Chris had torn you to shreds. So you’d gathered yourself up and held it together with twine and tape, willing for it to work. It had. For six months it had worked, but Spencer had looked into this mirror and it was like he could see everything you were holding back. He saw right through to the darkest parts of you and there was nothing scarier than that truth.

There was no holding it back anymore, not now that he saw the glimpse of it. With a scream that tore your throat to shreds, your fist collided with the mirror. Now the reflective pieces scattered on the ground resembled you, finally. And now that there was no reflection to hold your attention, your knees buckled and sent you collapsing to the ground. Your hand dug into one of the pieces, gripping it tightly because Spencer had reached out for you and cut himself on the edges, and now he was going to leave you discarded like this mirror and h-

“Oh, darling.”

And Spencer was gathering you up, holding the pieces together to allow you to finally release the string you’d used to tie yourself together. He was behind you, pulling you into his lap. Hands were gently prying the piece of glass from your hand, tossing it far enough away that you couldn’t reach it. When the danger was gone, those same hands were on your face, brushing back your hair and wiping away salty tears.

“You’re okay, you’re safe now,” he was telling you, “it’s safe here. Nothing can hurt you anymore.”

“It’s not okay, it’s not,” you cried back, squeezing your eyes shut so you wouldn’t see the complete adoration and worry in his hazel eyes. You didn’t deserve it, not after hurting him. “You’re bleeding. I made you bleed.”

“It was an accident,” Spencer reminded you, “I should’ve known better than to reach for you while you were panicking. It’s not your fault.”

“We were supposed to be on a date.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. All that matters right now is making sure you’re okay,” Spencer told you, never raising his voice over the soft tone one might use to talk down a victim. Because you were a victim, weren’t you? He was seeing that part of you now. Would he always look at you and see that now? Would you become a burden to him eventually? He would have to deal with the weight of victims every day at work, and then come home and have to deal with one? It wasn’t fair to Spencer, who was pulling you in close and brushing over your hair in gentle, reassuring motions. “You’re going to be okay.”

“I ruined everything. I tried so hard to be good for you and I still...it still happened.” And now that the truth was out in the world, it was like nothing was strong enough to keep you together. So you cried, letting out wailing sobs that probably hurt Spencer’s ear considering your proximity to it. He didn’t move though, didn’t even try to leave. Instead, he held you closer with touches that didn’t make you flinch and whispered the same sweet reminders into your ear until you began to believe it.

“You’re safe now, Y/N, nothing can hurt you. I won’t let anything hurt you anymore.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Sometimes there simply weren’t words to explain what happened to you. Sometimes, as much as you longed to find the perfect and eloquent statements to give, all you could do was shake your head and hope the other person understood.

Objectively, you knew what it had been. If anyone else had been in that situation, you would’ve found the proper words for it. They were controlled and abused for nearly two years of their life by someone they had loved. Someone they trusted, who had been so perfect at the start, had morphed into the kind of monster you couldn’t even dream of before. Spencer was absolutely perfect for them, and they sometimes feared that he would turn out the same. They felt incredibly guilty every time, knowing what a good man Spencer was. When it was someone else, the words flowed easily.

Now, you sat on the kitchen counter with Spencer standing close, your legs dangling on either side of him. His hands cradled yours, painstakingly picking out the glass and wiping away the blood. His head was tilted down, a bit of his hair falling into his face but you didn’t dare push it back with your free hand.

Neither of you spoke. Instead, you allowed him to focus on the act of fixing your hand; the one part of you that he was able to patch up. Tonight he had seen all the broken parts of you and all he could do was run triage, deciding the red-stained knuckles were the easiest repair. Spencer let you focus on his movements. He kept them slow, his hands always in your line of vision so as to never catch you off guard. You simply watched his hands until your own stopped shaking—until your heart didn’t feel like it would burst out of your chest at any given second.

And when all that was left to treat were the internal wounds that had been slowly bleeding since the night Derek Morgan had saved you, your gaze met Spencer’s for the first time since the breakdown. You’d have expected judgment—and maybe a little fear—to be swimming in the depths of his amber eyes, but instead all you saw was what you might dare to call love.

For as long as you knew Spencer, you’d never seen him so quiet. You’d come to love the way he saw your hesitancy to speak and filled the space with his own words; gentle explanations of concepts that had never seemed interesting until they were carried on Spencer’s voice. You wished he would do that now; that he would kiss you on the forehead and tell you all about how the concept of the modern kitchen wasn’t really invented until the 1890s with the creation of kitchen cabinets.

Spencer did no such thing. He just stood there, bracketed by your legs and his bandaged hand occupied by your matching one. His expression was gentle, open, and waiting for you to be ready.

You weren’t sure you were ever ready for this conversation, but you also knew better than to think he would leave this alone after what had happened.

“That mirror, uh...” you swallowed around the words, face scrunching up as you braced for everything that was to follow, “Chris bought it for me.”

That name hadn’t been spoken allowed in this apartment since that night well over a year ago. It sounded wrong to say it in front of Spencer as if the mere mention of the other man could mark what you’d carefully built with him. Maybe it still could, maybe when Spencer saw what he was getting himself into he’d run. You weren’t sure you could even blame him if he did, knowing the coffee shop version of you was not the same as the one who spat ashes of a burned relationship into his palm and asked him to stay anyway.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Of course, Spencer had done nothing but exceed all expectations you had for him, why would he do anything else now? You could only watch as he brought bandaged knuckles to his lips, and even though there was no way to feel the gentle kiss he’d pressed there your skin tingled anyway.

“I do,” you corrected, voice soft in sharp contrast to the last time it had been used, the pained screams tearing their way past your throat. “I told you there was a bad breakup but, uh...it wasn’t really, there was more to it than that.”

The pained expression pulling on Spencer’s features clued you into the fact that he knew more than he was letting on. You knew Penny hadn’t told him, that you’d asked her and Derek to not say anything until you had the chance to. That night, Derek had pulled you in close and reminded you that not only was Spencer a genius, but he was a profiler trained to clue into peoples’ behaviors. You hadn’t understood the weight of that warning until now, realizing that Spencer seemed to know exactly how to act around you now before you could even tell him about what had happened.

Even after you’d hurt him, Spencer had reminded you that you were safe with him.

“He bought it so I could make sure I always looked good enough to be his girlfriend,” you admitted and the words tasted like acid on your tongue. “He started off so perfectly. I thought for sure that he was gonna be the one, you know? He was so sweet at the beginning that I never realized how bad it had gotten. People only ever warn you about the physical stuff, you know? They don’t...they don’t tell you what to do when someone demands you change everything about yourself for them.”

The words began to shake and you couldn’t really see Spencer through the tears in your eyes, but you knew if you stopped now the rest would never come out. “Even then, it took him hitting me to get me to accept how wrong it all was. I loved him so much despite what he took from me. That night I was thinking about marrying him, and I’ve been scared to think about it but I think if it wasn’t for Penny and Derek, I still would’ve.”

“Derek?” It was the first time Spencer interrupted you, the first time he’d revealed his shock in the whole situation.

“Yeah,” and the mention of your mutual friend was enough to bring a small smile to your face despite the tears, “Penny called him that night, and there’s nothing like an angry FBI agent bursting through the door to convince someone to leave and never come back.”

Spencer even laughed at that one, a small sound that seemed to surprise even him. “That sounds like Morgan.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten through it without him. He’d rush over to my workplace at night to make sure I got home safe, he took me to a gym so I could learn to defend myself in case Chris ever came back while you all were on a case. He and Penny, uh...they helped me find who I was again. I’d lost myself for so long that it seemed impossible to ever get it back.” You looked down, your entwined hands a more reassuring sight for the moment. “Sometimes I still think it’s impossible. And I wish all the time that you got to know who I was before. You deserve that person, you know? The one who doesn’t...the one who’s not...”

“What, Y/N?” Spencer pressed, voice gentle and shaking, giving away his own tears.

“Broken.”

The word was like a key, unlocking all the tears you’d ever wanted to shed over the loss. A harsh sob was the only warning Spencer got before you were wrapping your arms around him and crying into his neck, clinging to him like you expected him to leave after the admission. Since you’d met Spencer it felt like you couldn’t mourn your losses. For months you’d tried to be everything Spencer deserved, everything you wanted to be. You’d tried to convince yourself that nothing had been taken from you, that the woman you’d once been hadn’t been carved from your chest and discarded.

Now, you allowed yourself to cry for that woman. You cried for the brutal scars left deep in your soul, the kind that would fade but never quite disappear. You cried for everything Spencer would never get to see and everything he would have to see. Most of all, you cried for the way Spencer didn’t shy away from your jagged edges. He still held you close and whispered sweet words into your ear until the tears died off.

And when it was over, Spencer pulled back just enough so he could look you in the eyes. His hands moved to cradle your face, his touch feather-light and comforting. He made sure you were focused on him before he said, “Darling, you’re not broken. You’re wounded, but you’re far from broken.”

You parted your lips to answer, lower lip trembling and wet from tears that hadn’t quite dried up, but Spencer wasn’t done.

“I don’t need any other version of you than the one I’ve gotten to know these past six months. I wish he’d been a better man, I wish you didn’t have to know this pain, but I wouldn’t trade this you for anything. I love you, Y/N, sharp edges and all.” Spencer knew what you needed to hear better than you knew yourself. The gentle acceptance of you, all of you as you are currently, was more than you could ever ask for from him.

“You love me?” Though you’d thought them several times, neither of you had said the words aloud before.

“What’s not to love?” Spencer’s disbelieving response was as genuine as possible but still struck confusion deep in your chest. This was meant to be your six-month anniversary celebration, a silly excuse to spend the night together. Instead, he was standing in front of you after anything but a sweet night.

“I’m quiet,” you countered, shrugging.

“You’re a good listener,” Spencer corrected easily, with no hesitation at all. “You never cut me off, you’re always interested in what I have to say.”

“I’m difficult,” you tried again, unsure why you felt the need to convince him of your flaws. Maybe because there was no way someone as good as him was so willing to accept you. You still couldn’t see it, the reason why Spencer hadn’t left yet.

“Love isn’t meant to be easy.” Again, Spencer had an answer for you, and you wondered if he would always have an answer at the ready. “You’re a person, and you never hide who you are from me. You’re real.”

“I don’t deserve you.” And if you didn’t know any better, you’d say the words broke Spencer’s heart. His expression cracked, lips parting and eyes widening, eyebrows tilted in concern.

“I wish you didn’t feel that way,” Spencer answered, holding you steady as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, nose, each cheek, and finally to your lips.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he continued to press butterfly-like kisses into your skin, laughter lifting your voice.

You felt his smile against your face, but Spencer didn’t stop until he’d pressed another, more insistent kiss to your lips. “Trying to convince you how much I love you. It has nothing to do with being deserving of love, darling.”

“Spencer,” you whined, cheeks going warm and hand pressing to his chest, “it tickles, stop.”

“I mean it. I won’t stop until I hear you say it.”

“Spencer.” But he only laughed against you as your nose twitched from his hair tickling your face. “Okay, okay. We deserve each other.”

“And you’re beautiful.”

“You’re so beautiful, Spence,” you answered cheekily, letting out a wild shriek as he scooped you up off the counter and into his arms. “Put me down! Spencer!”

He did let you down. He let you down on the bed only for his body to entrap yours, his hands easily finding the spots on your abdomen that were most ticklish.

“I surrender, I surrender, please!” you shrieked, wondering only briefly what Penelope must think from the other side of the wall. You let out a wild laugh, as equally breathless as Spencer was. He really was beautiful like this: knees on either side of your thighs, hands against your bare waist where your shirt had ridden up. Spencer’s chest was heaving, lips parted in a bright smile that reached all the way up to sparkling honey eyes. His hair was more wild than usual, pieces falling in front of his face, cheeks stained pink.

“Those aren’t the magic words,” he teased back easily.

“I seem to have forgotten, Magic Man. You might have to remind me.”

Spencer leaned forward, hands moving to the bed to prop himself up over you. You could only watch as he licked his lips, eyes carefully studying yours. “You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

“I love you,” you said instead, and it seemed to surprise both of you. It was true in every sense, but for so long you’d been terrified to make it real. The last time you’d loved someone else they’d changed every part of you, made you unrecognizable from before.

Spencer wasn’t like that. He was ready to accept you as you were, to cherish every piece that built you.

“Those aren’t the magic words, but I’ll accept them,” he told you softly, sounding breathless in an entirely different way than before.

“Good, because I do love you,” you repeated, getting the feeling that he had his own insecurities that would need addressing later. “I love you so much, Spencer Reid.”

It wasn’t perfect. Though Spencer had made the two of you laugh, there were still important discussions to be had. There would be more tears from each of you, more times you both needed reminding of your worth.

Just like before the broken mirror, there would be good days and bad days. There would be days you forgot entirely about your ex, and there would be days the memories felt so crushing all you could do is lay in bed and accept the comfort Spencer was willing to give you.

And he would be there. Each and every time, he’d be there with gentle touches and even sweeter words, proving time and time again that he was the better man.

“I love you too, Y/N, I’ll love you forever.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

General Taglist

@samuel-de-champagne-problems @just-arandomwriter @matthewgraygublerlover @silverhetdanes @ssawonderland

Reid From The Vault Taglist

@samuel-de-champagne-problems @alexontheinternet @reidsbookclub @givemeth @fightingdragonswithreid @girloncorneliastreet @silverhetdanes @just-a-human-witha-pen @shemarmooresfedora @rexorangecouny @awesomebooklover17 @safespacespence @stumbleonmywords @dumb-bitchculture @allthecolorsneverseen

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #spencer reid angst #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer reid self insert #loving you was red #reid from the vault #tw past abuse #my fics

[heottokes]

 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫.

prompt:

au 18 - celebrity au trope 13 - meet cute prompt 08 - “wait, wait. say that again. please.”

written for: you genre: fluff word count: 2k

꒰ m.list ꒱

You were always in the limelight. Everyone praised the ground you walked on. Growing up, you were everyone’s little princess, everyone’s favourite. All you would ever hear is how smart and pretty you are. All you would ever hear is how everyone loves you and want to be you. When you were in high school you had agents scout you every week until you finally accepted their offer. You didn’t know what to expect when you passed the audition. You didn’t realise the amount of work and skill you needed to have to debut – looks weren’t enough; nothing was enough. You went through hours of rigorous training while maintaining your education as best as you can. You had to change. You had to maintain your image. You had to care about your weight, looks, mannerisms, everything. There were days where you wanted to give up, where the work wasn’t worth the gain. But when you finally debut as a new young up and coming actress it was all worth it.

Everyone knew your name. Since your debut, you were non-stop. You were fully booked with movies, dramas, photoshoots, and interviews. You didn’t catch a break. You were constantly in the public. You can’t say you hated it. You enjoyed the glitz and glam. Who didn’t like getting treated like a goddess among men? But with all the good comes the bad. You couldn’t step out of your house to do mundane tasks such as grocery shopping without getting recognize. You couldn’t interact with anyone without it being put on the tabloids. Although, people love you now, you know if you make a mistake, you will be thrown away and replaced with the next shiny thing. You have been used as a PR stunt for fellow media colleagues and companies. You see all the hateful comments pointing out to every single flaw you have. That was the life you lived.

You swear you love what you do, and you love the true people that support you with pure intentions, but you needed to love yourself too. You felt as though you have given enough to deserve that. “I will be taking a two-month long break to rejuvenate myself and come back stronger and better than before.” You announced on the radio. “This will be my last schedule until I come back.” You could see it as the words left your mouth, the flood of support and hysteria. You could see the articles speculating where you would be going and who you would be going with and why you wanted to take a break “out of nowhere”. You could predict it all. You perfectly timed your announcement to be your final words so you couldn’t be questioned. As the radio went on commercial, the radio show host looked at you in shock. You gave him your signature smile making him recover his expression. “Thank you for having me. I look forward to doing this again.” You say shaking his hand.

“Yes, of course! I’ll make a request to have you back when you finish your holiday. I hope we get all the details next time.” You smiled at the passive aggressive comment not even missing a beat. It was how everyone in the entertainment industry spoke – with restrained disdain.

───────── ☾ • ☽ ──────────

You sighed peacefully. It was the fifth day of your holiday and you already felt like a million bucks. You decided to find solace in America. You weren’t a Hallyu star so the chances of running into a fan were slim to none. You were strolling down the shops when you noticed a run-down music shop. You were going to pass by without a second glance but saw a familiar name in the store.

You entered the dark musty shop wondering why a random music shop in the U.S. would be displaying a signed poster of Seo Taiji and the Boys. There was no one to greet you but you figured the owners were used to not having customers to greet. You strolled along the aisles looking at the range of selection the store had to offer. You started hearing voices coming from the back of the store as you made your way down the row of vinyl records. It sounded like a heated argument between a younger male and an older female. You stared at the backdoor where the voices were coming from which you were conveniently standing next to as the aisle ended. Before you could move away in fear of being caught for eavesdropping the door ripped open and a body flew at you. At the sudden collision, you fell backwards along with the person who ran into you. You looked at the assailant to find a boy who looks a little older than you hovering above you. He had a sharp nose and sported a frown.

“Look at what you did! You hurt our only customer!” You hear a frail and panicked voice shouting in your native tongue. “Get off her now!” The lady, who you assumed was the grandmother and owner of the store, was hitting his back repeatedly which made him get off you. “Here, my dear, I’m so sorry.” She says in broken English.

“It’s okay,” You got up dusting your white flower dress unaware of the boy’s glare. You pouted at the sight of the dirt not leaving your dress despite your attempts. You hear a scoff and as you turn to glare at the boy, he pushes past you to head out the door. Your eyes glared holes in the back of his head. ‘How rude,’ you thought.

Just as he reached to open the door he was hit straight in the back of the head with a slipper. He flinched and turned wide-eyed at his grandmother. “Where do you think you’re going?! We have a customer, serve her, and then go!” His grandmother ordered. The boy’s eyes turn to see you holding back a smirk. “Please, enjoy yourself.” The grandmother says to you kindly before returning to the back of the store.

You hear the boy sigh as he goes behind the counter. You felt awkward. You weren’t planning on buying anything but now the grandmother assumed you were and he’s staying because of it, you felt obligated to. Your hands skimmed along the vinyl records unsure of what to buy. You can hear him tapping the counter obnoxiously with his fingers. You glance at him to see he was already staring at you. You roll your eyes ignoring him only to hear the tapping become louder. Frustrated, you pick the closest vinyl to you and stomp towards the counter. You placed it in front of him and the boy looks down at your choice. You couldn’t care less; you just wanted to get out of there. He gives you a once over blatantly scrutinising you. “Never pegged you to be an AC/DC fan.” He says to you in your native language. You looked at him as if he grew two heads at the unfamiliar name. He raised the vinyl up to you revealing five men on the front of the cover, one of which was sporting devil horns.

You turn up your nose shaking your head. “I’m not.”

“Then why are you buying it?” He asked but ringed the album up anyway.

“So, you and I can get out of here.” You answer truthfully. He raises an eyebrow at your answer causing you to fluster. “Not like that, separately. You are clearly in a rush.” You hastily clarified. The boy finally smiled and God you wished he didn’t. Despite his cold demeanor and stone-cold expression, when he smiled a lone dimple surfaced on his cheek making your throat close up.

“If you’ve never listened to their music. I probably won’t recommend them. You seem too soft for them.” He says as he snatches the money from your hand. His tone was suddenly different. It was lighter than the first time you heard him speak clearly making fun of you playfully.

“You’re quick to have strong assumptions about a stranger.” You retort watching him open the rundown cash register.

The boy only seems to enjoy your response as his smile widens and his eyes sparkled with interest. “Are you saying I’m wrong?”

It was your turn to squint your eyes at him as a response since you couldn’t deny it. His dark black hair was parted in the middle framing his forehead while a black beanie covered the rest of his hair. You took notice of his hands as it was embroidered with black nail polish, which was something new to you, but it suited him. He wore a lose white shirt with a silver necklace. You couldn’t deny that the boy was good-looking. If only he didn’t have a terrible personality to match. He gave you the vinyl waiting for your response. “Well, here. You seem to like them more than I do.” You say pushing the album back to him.

He chuckles. “I don’t need it. I already have one at home.” He says handing the album back to you. “You should check them out, you never know you might like what you hear.”

“I doubt it.” You say going back and forth with him and the album. “How about I sign it for you then?” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself and God, you wish you stopped yourself.

The boy looks at you quizzically. “Why would I want your autograph?” He asked genuinely confused.

“You’re Korean right?” He nodded. “Don’t you know who I am?” You asked confused just like him.

“Didn’t we established that I’m quick to have strong assumption about strangers, stranger?” He laughed finding amusement at the situation. You couldn’t tell if he was just pulling your leg, or if he was being genuine. “Why? Who are you supposed to be?” He sports a shit-eating grin making fun of you.

“Be serious, you really don’t know who I am?”

“Am I supposed to?” He was still being playful but after seeing your face, he drops his smirk. “No, I don’t know who you are.” He says with a straight face. You feel your heart beat out of your chest. He didn’t know who you were. You couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at the feeling of someone finally not recognising you after such a long time. “I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but I’ve never been to Korea so I wouldn’t-”

“Wait, wait. Say that again.” You asked with a huge grin on your face. He stops and analyses your expression confused. “Please.” You added to emphasise the importance of your request.

“I don’t know who you are.” He repeated slowly making you flash him a smile that reached your eyes. Your enthusiasm makes him smile. He found you interesting.

“Good,” You said deciding to end the interaction before you get carried away. You placed the album in front of him. “I’m not taking this with me. It’s not my style. Put it back if you want.” You laughed before heading towards the door.  

The boy stares at the album. You were definitely weird to him, but you made him curious. “Wait,” He calls for you as your hand meets the knob of the door. You turn to see him jump over the counter and run to you. You look up to him amused at how frantic he was to get to you. “I was about to head to my friend’s place. We’re in a band. We’re playing before I have to move.” As he rambled his eyes avoided yours. “Do you want to come, maybe?” He asked scratching the back of his neck clearly nervous.

‘God, he’s cute.’ You smiled biting your bottom lip and decided to tease him. “I don’t know, will I like what I hear?”

Your playful tone makes him look at you again. He sees the smile on your lips making him smirk back. His eyes flick back to yours sharing the same sparkles in your eyes. “I guess you’re gonna have to find out.”

[a/n] i think this was shit but punk bad boy changkyun is hot. maybe i should turn this into a series?? just kidding ... unless??

꒰ m.list ꒱ 

#monsta x fluff #changkyun fluff #monsta x oneshot #monsta x scenarios #monsta x #changkyun #i.m #im changkyun #mine #d.writes #x

[jvmiel]

I have so few smiling icons but he’s adorable when he does

#image ☽ i will find myself again

[jvmiel]

Redoing of the tags

image ☽ i will find myself again

study ☽ hero is another word for damned

headcanon ☽ i left home a child and came back a hero

aesthetic ☽ stars were never peaceful

dyn; Michael ☽ you made him to be a warrior

dyn; Raziel ☽ it's too bad that you had to fall anyway

dyn; Chuck ☽ maybe i'm just never meant to meet you

dyn; Gabriel ☽ poets always love a good tragedy

open starter ☽ we all love what destroys us

wishlist ☽ does it have a happy ending

v; pre fall ☽ we were meant to own the sky

v; post fall ☽ we will be destroyed the gods

v; alt verse ☽ we were meant to be gods

starter call ☽ please allow me to burn at your side

memes ☽ but i guess i was never much of a write

drabbles ☽ i will not ask you to remember me

edits ☽ it's always been about the same boy

ooc ☽ can you tell me a story?

Discord commentary ☽ perhaps it does not know how to listen

Dash commentary ☽ love will come back again

Crack ☽ I am only body

#image ☽ i will find myself again #study ☽ hero is another word for damned #headcanon ☽ i left home a child and came back a hero #aesthetic ☽ stars were never peaceful #dyn; Raziel ☽ it's too bad that you had to fall anyway #dyn; Michael ☽ you made him to be a warrior #dyn; Chuck ☽ maybe i'm just never meant to meet you #dyn; Gabriel ☽ poets always love a good tragedy #open starter ☽ we all love what destroys us #wishlist ☽ does it have a happy ending #v; pre fall ☽ we were meant to own the sky #v; post fall ☽ we will be destroyed the gods #v; alt verse ☽ we were meant to be gods #starter call ☽ please allow me to burn at your side #memes ☽ but i guess i was never much of a write #drabbles ☽ i will not ask you to remember me #edits ☽ it's always been about the same boy #ooc ☽ can you tell me a story? #Discord commentary ☽ perhaps it does not know how to listen #Crack ☽ I am only body #Dash commentary ☽ love will come back again

[jvmiel]

Tag drop part one:

i. image ☽ 𝒊 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𖤓

i. study ☽ 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍 𖤓

i. headcanon ☽ 𝒊 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐 𖤓

ii. Michael ☽ 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒓 𖤓

ii. Raziel ☽ 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒂𝒚 𖤓

ii. Chuck ☽ 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𖤓

#i. headcanon ☽ 𝒊 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐 𖤓 #ii. Raziel ☽ 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒂𝒚 𖤓 #ii. Chuck ☽ 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𖤓 #image ☽ i will find myself again #study ☽ hero is another word for damned #dyn; Michael ☽ you made him to be a warrior