#im literally so proud of myself i really didnt think i was gonna pull it off and i fuckin did

[coccolithophore]

y'all. i just learned how to use adobe after effects in 3 weeks and made a hand-drawn, start to finish animation for some coworkers. please clap.

#im literally so proud of myself i really didnt think i was gonna pull it off and i fuckin did #aside from how it constantly crashes i think ae is one of the better adobe products its kinda fun to fuck around in #cant believe i can animate now tho. this will beneficial for my blorbo needs..... #kiwi.txt

[genderstarbucks]

i have a request

xenogender for ppl who r pro stoning mspec lesbian/gays or ppl who believe male lesbians exist, also dawg half of the stuff in ur intro isnt real and just made up so you can feel special just put "I am gay/queer and trans" nobody needs to know that you are an otter attracted to twinks and bears 500+ fetishes n shit , gay ppl didnt die just so you can sit around and say "guyyyyssss ughhh lesbians can be attracted to men!! they can they can!!!" and trans ppl didnt die just so you can say "guys dont see me as a girl pls it makes me sooo uncomfy but im a female ftm woman trans man pussy vagina cunt man BUT DONT CALL ME A WOMAN GIRL PLS PLS DONT USE SHE HER ON ME!!!!!!!! IM JUST A SHEHERWOMAN BOY!!!"

Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders

[one-abuse-survivor]

my dad ruined christmas. He started off with constantly antagonising my sister, arguing with my mum and shouting at her, and then, later when i was attempting to get a screwdriver to release my new toy car from its case (it was a mini delorean from back to the future haha so awesome!) he corners me and starts going back on a rant of how dumb i am and how im such a bad child for him. I understand i was in the wrong for repeating ‘excuse me please, excuse me’ the entire time, but i was trying to drown out his voice but also try hoping politeness will help move it along and i can be free quicker. I tried shouting to my mum saying, ‘mum, help me please come on, hes trapped me again, hellooo mum help me’ but she literally couldnt care less, even waving a hand in dismissal towards me, then he told me he was gonna hit me if i didnt start behaving, and he wuestioned what he’d done that was so horrible, that made me not speak to him anymore and act like he wasnt even living here, but i ignored him. I just had to get to my room, and i did. He did back me up further, to which i told him to f off (ik bad on my part, i wish i hadnt said it) but it ahocked him so horribly that he went to go tell my mum, and i made my immaculate escape lol. But as this hasnt happened to me since before quarentine in 2020 (when he would do this for hours at a time, for almost 2 years at that point) ive just been in a huge mental fog and obsessing over the new year and what new challenges i ‘have to overcome’ and stuff and im so scared, honestly. All this year was me pulling myself up from depression and wanting to be unalive and now im acc wanting to live and be happy, i dont know how lol. I mean, what if i screw it up and suddenly it all comes back and i give in this time? What if i dont be my best self next year and finally, finally get away from my parents? My birthdah is next week and im almost sure hes gonna ruin it, like he has the past 3. I have hope he wont, and that this years gonna be great, but i have so much dread and fear, and idk how to make those go away fully tbh

Nonnie, I'm so sorry he did this. I hope you know what your dad did to you on Christmas day and all those times before quarantine is really abusive, and your mum not caring is also abusive and neglectful. You did not deserve his insults or his threats. I don't think you were in the wrong for doing or saying any of the things you did and said in that situation—I think you did your best to de-escalate it and get yourself to safety.

When it comes to abuse, in my personal opinion, there's no wrong way to react—nothing you can do or say that means you actually caused or deserved the abuse. More often than not, we act on instinct in these situations—and not rationally—because our fight/flight/freeze/fawn response has been triggered. So please, don't be hard on yourself for the way you handled the situation. You should never have been put in that position in the first place, and it's him you should be mad at for cornering and abusing you, and not yourself for the way you reacted. All you wanted was to keep yourself safe.

I also want you to know that demanding to know what he did to make you not speak to him was really abusive of him. My mother did this too, and I just want you to know you're not alone .

I'm sorry 2021 was such a bad year, and I really hope you're proud of yourself for everything you accomplished regarding your depression, because that's huge! I also hope your birthday went well after all ❤️

Regarding dread about 2022 not being good/not being the year you finally leave, try to focus on the things you can control, nonnie. Some days, "what you can control" can look like gathering all your important documents and giving your friends your belongings (like books, toys...) little by little so you don't have to take everything with you in one go later on. Other days, it can look like getting through the day or even through the next few minutes. That's okay. It's okay if "doing your best" some days looks like surviving the day. You're still working towards getting out of there by surviving, I really hope you know that.

Sending all my support your way. You know I'm here if you need to reach out again ❤️

#Ask #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive father tw #Verbal abuse tw #Emotional abuse tw #Neglect tw #Neglectful mother #Threats tw #Suicidal tw #Quarantine mention #Covid mention #Dissociation tw

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Disney but just the Queer Mood™ Songs, a full Spotify Playlist

Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!

Tracklist with specific lyrics that fuck us all up under the cut:

KEY: A general list of which songs resonate with people. The 🏳️‍🌈is for general songs; if you relate to a song but don’t see ur emoji beneath it, send me a message and I’ll add it!

🏳️‍🌈 General Queer Anthem  🌈 Gays specifically have related to this song  ❤️ Gay Men specifically have related to this song  🧡 Lesbians specifically have related to this song 💕 Bisexuals/Pansexuals specifically have related to this song  💜 Asexuals/Ace-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 💚 Aromatics/Aro-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 🤍 Trans people have specifically related to this song 🖤 Nonbinary/Genderqueer people have specifically related to this song  💗 Polyamorous people have specifically related to this song

Know Who You Are - Moana

🏳️‍🌈

They have stolen the heart from inside you But this does not define you  This is not who you are You know who you are...

I Wonder - Sleeping Beauty 

🌈🧡

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder why each little bird has a someone To sing to, sweet things to, A gay little love melody I wonder, I wonder, I wonder if my heart keeps singing, Will my song go winging To someone, who'll find me And bring back a love song to me...

Mother Knows Best - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈 honestly this is just... a general song for some of our shitty relationships to guardian figures...

It's a scary world out there Mother knows best One way or another Something will go wrong, I swear

Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know? I only bathed and changed and nursed you Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it Let me die alone here, be my guest When it's too late You'll see, just wait Mother knows best

Don't forget it You'll regret it...

Dangerous to Dream - Frozen Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈

I can't be what you expect of me But I'm trying every day with all I do and do not say Here on the edge of the abyss Knowing everything in my whole life has lead to this And so I pull inside myself, close the walls, put up my guard I've practiced every single day for this So why is it so hard?

I can't dwell on what we've lost And our secrecy and silence comes at such a cost

I wish I could tell the truth Show you who's behind the door I wish you knew what all this pantomime And pageantry was for

It's dangerous to wish I could make choices of my own Dangerous to even have that thought I'm dangerous just standing here for everyone to see If I let go of rules who knows how dangerous I'd be?

Reflection - Mulan 

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤- literally everyone requested this. everyone. so im just copy-pasting the entire lyrics sorry not sorry

Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I’ve tried  When will my reflection show who I am inside?

How I pray that a time will come I can free myself From their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud They want a docile lamb No one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?

Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series

🏳️‍🌈 when u realize u might not be straight lol

I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong

Everything I ever thought I knew Where I've been, where I'm going Everything I counted on turned out to be untrue Could've guessed, should've known, now I do

If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?

I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am

God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame

🏳️‍🌈...yeah. yeah

Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?

God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth God help my people, they look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will

I ask for nothing, I can get by But I know so many less lucky than I Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God

Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast

🌈 when a cishet thinks ur interested smh

Madame Gaston! Can't you just see it? Madame Gaston! His little wife No, sir! Not me! I guarantee it I want much more than this provincial life!

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere I want it more than I can tell And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid

🌈 SO many people requested this one guys it’s not even funny

Wandering free, wish I could be Part of that world

Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimming Ready to stand

When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?

One Jump Ahead (Reprise) - Aladdin

🏳️‍🌈

Riff-raff, street rat I don't buy that If only they'd look closer

Would they see a poor boy? No, siree They'd find out There's so much more to me...

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

That I've been one rotten kid Some son, some pride and some joy But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times...

Water flows under the bridge Let it pass, let it go There's no good reason that you should believe me Not yet, I know, but

Someday and soon I'll make you proud of your boy Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you...

Someone’s Waiting for You - The Rescuers

🏳️‍🌈

Be brave, little one Make a wish for each sad little tear Hold your head up though no one is near Someone's waiting for you

Always keep a little prayer in your pocket And you're sure to see the light Soon there'll be joy and happiness And your little world will be bright

Have faith, little one Til your hopes and your wishes come true

Stick to the Status Quo - High School Musical 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 YOU ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY THIS IS HERE

No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know It is better by far to keep things as they are Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo

Into the Unknown - Frozen 2

🏳️‍🌈

I can hear you, but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away

I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go

Where are you going? Don't leave me alone How do I follow you Into the unknown?

Go the Distance - Hercules 

🏳️‍🌈

I have often dreamed of a far off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me

And a voice keeps saying This is where I'm meant to be

I am on my way, I can go the distance I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong I know every mile will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to find where I belong

Tomorrow - Annie

🏳️‍🌈 - betcha didnt know disney had an annie movie did u

The sun will come out tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow There'll be sun

When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, oh, The sun’ll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may...

Learn Me Right - Brave

🏳️‍🌈💜💚

Though I may speak some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word I have no strength with which to speak When you sit me down and see I’m weak

We will run and scream you will dance with me We'll fulfill our dreams, and we'll be free We will be who we are, and they’ll heal our scars Sadness will be far away...

Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast 

🏳️‍🌈

You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too

I will understand you Strange how I'm drawn to the danger I reach out my hand to you

If you're caught in the shadows and turned all around Lost in the darkness, you will be found If you hear my voice, follow the sound Cause I'm here to guide you home... 

I Don’t Dance - High School Musical 2 

🌈 ❤️ 💕 okay so if you weren’t here for the high school musical tumblr revival you may be confused but listen... it’s about being mlm... 

Step up to the plate, start swinging

I wanna play ball Now that’s all, this is what I do It ain’t no dance that you can show me

I’ve got what it takes playin’ my game So you best skin that pitch you gonna throw me, yeah I’ll show you how I swing

I can prove it to you ‘til you know it’s true Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too You’re talking a lot, show me what you got Stop, swing!

Kiss the Girl - cover of The Little Mermaid 

this version is sung by a girl so 🧡💕

There you see her, sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do It's possible she want you too There is one way to ask her...

Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King 

🏳️‍🌈

An enchanted moment And it sees me through It's enough for this restless warrior Just to be with you

There's a time for everyone if they only learn That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors When the heart of this star-crossed voyager Beats in time with yours

And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer That we got this far And can you feel the love tonight? How it's laid to rest It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best

Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast 

🏳️‍🌈- a lot of queer people tend to empathize with “beastly” characters so we all latched the fuck onto this movie huh

Just a little change, small to say the least Both a little scared, neither one prepared

Ever just the same, ever a surprise Ever as before, ever just as sure As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time, tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change Learning you were wrong...

Healing Incantation - Tangled 

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤

Heal what has been hurt Change the fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine

So Close - Enchanted 

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting waiting here with you And now, forever, I know All that I wanted to hold you so close

Oh, how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now?

So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this one's not pretend Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are So close, so close, and still So far...

If Only - Descendants

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A million thoughts in my head Should I let my heart keep listening? Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line Nothing lost but something missing I can't decide what's wrong, what's right Which way should I go?

Every step, every word With every hour I'm feeling in To something new, something brave To someone I've never been

Will you still be with me When the magic's all run out?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be

Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin 

🏳️‍🌈- out of context could be interpreted as romantic, esp since the credits version is a duet (🌈 💕) but the original context is friendship so honestly it’s very 💜💚

I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me

I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far I can only dream of you

But when the morning comes and the sun begins to rise, I will lose you Because it’s just a dream, when I open up my eyes, I will lose you

I used to believe in forever, But forever is too good to be true I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far

I don't know what else to do Except to try to dream of you And wonder, if you're dreaming too Wherever you are

I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) - Hercules

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that

Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to ya Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through ya Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you feel And who you're thinking of

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!" Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love

Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈🤍 🖤 

Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home? Home is an empty dream, lost to the night Father, I feel so alone

When will the dawning break, oh, endless night Sleepless I dream of the day

I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine

Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series 

🏳️‍🌈🤍

There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours Life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!

No one else can tell you what to do Or who to be! No one gets to say if you will stay or go

Look inside your heart and find the key... And set yourself free!

Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose Why not test your limits? You've got what it takes Let it out and follow where it goes

No more letting someone else define you to a "T" You know that you are strong You've known it all along So seize the day, let down your hair You’ll find a way to set yourself free!

So look to the horizon Open up your wings! Fly away to find your destiny... And set yourself free!

Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake 

🏳️‍🌈 ALL OF US ALL OF US

Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under

Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!

Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending "Stay in your place, better seen and not heard," Well, now that story is ending

Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!

I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms

You don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand I'm a boy - No, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I’m not here 

And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man They can't break me As long as I know who I am

They can't tell me who to be 'Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleepin' While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe!

Crossing the Line - cover of Tangled: the Series 

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 tfw when u are DONE with that fuckin closet 

This has to stop now This thing where you think that you've been my friend And don't even hear how you condescend The way you've always done

How I've tried to jump that great divide! But I've never got the chances you were given You don't know how much I've been denied Well, I'm not being patient anymore

I'm crossing the line! And I'm done holding back So look out, clear the track, it's my turn! I'm taking what's mine Every drop, every smidge If I'm burning a bridge, let it burn! But I'm crossing the line...

Let it Go - Frozen 

🏳️‍🌈 listen. i do not have to explain this one. you all know exactly why it’s here. we were all tiny gays in 2013 losing our shit in the theater for no discernable reason why. we know

Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!

Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door! I don't care what they're going to say!

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!

No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

I'm never going back, the past is in the past!

Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone!

This is Me - Camp Rock 

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 💕 🤍

I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say But I have this dream right inside of me I'm gonna let it show it's time To let you know It's to let you know

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark? To dream about a life where you're the shining star

This is real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now Gonna let the light shine on me Now I've found who I am there's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be...

Breaking Free - High School Musical 

🏳️‍🌈 🖤

You know the world can see us In a way that's different than who we are Creating space between us 'Till we're separate hearts But your faith it gives me strength Strength to believe

Soarin, flyin There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach If we’re trying, yeah we’re breaking free  We’re running, climbin  To get to the place, to be all that we can be  Now’s the time, so we’re breaking free

True To Your Heart - Mulan 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me Deep in my soul, I know that I'm your destiny Though you're unsure Why fight the tide Don't think so much Let your heart decide

True to your heart You must be true to your heart That's when the heavens'll part And, baby, shower you with my love Open your eyes Your heart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your heart I know it's gonna lead you straight to me

Someone ya know is on your side can set you free I can do that for you if you believe in me Why second guess what feels so right Just trust your heart And you'll see the light

Never Knew I Needed - The Princess and the Frog 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing...

My accidental happily ever after The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You'd be the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here always

Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas 

🏳️‍🌈 - colors.... rainbows.... yea

How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know...

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew

How high will the sycamore grow If you cut it down, then you'll never know And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind...

I See the Light - Tangled 

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 - you would not BELIEVE how many of y’all requested this one

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be

Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here, suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go

And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted

All at once, everything looks different Now that I see you

Strangers Like Me - Tarzan 

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 🖤- that moment when u find another queer person and ur like “holy shit”

I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there

Come with me now to see my world Where there's beauty beyond your dreams Can you feel the things I feel Right now, with you Take my hand There's a world I need to know...

Why Should I Worry? - Oliver & Company 

🏳️‍🌈- we’re queer, we’re here, get used to it 

Why should I worry? Why should I care? I may not have a dime But I got street savoir-faire Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation And I got street savoir-faire

Why should I worry? Why should I care? And even when I crossed that line I got street savoir-faire

Welcome - Brother Bear 

🏳️‍🌈 pride parade amirite

Everyone's invited This is how we live We are here for each other, happy to give All we have we share And all of us we care

There's a bond between us nobody can explain It's a celebration of life We see our friends again I'll be there for you I know you'll be there for me, too So come on!

This has to be the most beautiful The most peaceful place I've ever been to It's nothing like I've never seen before When I think how far I've come I can't believe it And yet I see it In them I see family I see the way we used to be...

The Great Divide - Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings

🏳️‍🌈

I'm on your side Let's take this ride And together we're facing the world Doing things nobody's done before And the great divide doesn’t seem so wide anymore

With You by My Side - Tangled: the Series 

💗 - tangled the series was so close to being canon polyam istg

Now; now more than ever We must stick together united

If we're destined to head in our own different ways Let's make the most of these sweet final days Why not go out in a glorious blaze

There's nothing I couldn't do Not with you by my side What in the world would I do Without you by my side...

Love Will Find a Way - The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

In a perfect world One we've never known We would never need to face the world alone They can have the world We'll create our own I may not be brave or strong or smart But somewhere in my secret heart

And if only they could feel it too The happiness I feel with you

Like dark turning into day Somehow we'll come through Now that I've found you Love will find a way I know love will find a way

Space Between - Descendants 2

🧡 never have i ever seen gays flock to a song faster

And you can find me in the space between Where two worlds come to meet I'll never be out of reach Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between You'll never be alone No matter where you go We can meet in the space between

Even if we're worlds apart You're still in my heart It will always be you and me, yeah

If I Never Knew You - Pocahontas

🏳️‍🌈🌈

And if I never held you I would never have a clue How at last I'd find in you The missing part of me...

In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes So dry your eyes

If I never knew you I'd be safe but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true

I thought our love would be so beautiful  Somehow we'd make the whole world bright I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night But still my heart is saying we were right

I’d Give Anything - Tangled: the Series 

🧡 rapunzel’s sad breakup song

So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice, I'll pay the price that's due Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew...

Someday - Hunchback of Notre Dame 

🏳️‍🌈

I used to believe In the days I was naïve That I'd live to see A day of justice dawn And though I will die Long before that morning comes I'll die while believing still It will come when I am gone

Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live

Someday, these dreams will all be real Till then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day Someday soon... 

No One Is Alone - Into the Woods 

🏳️‍🌈

Mother cannot guide you, now your on your own. Only me beside you, still you're not alone. No one is alone. Truly, no one is alone…

People make mistakes Holding to their own  Thinking they’re alone 

Someone is on your side, someone else is not  While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot  They are not alone, no one is alone...

I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) - Moana

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 - it’s about the self-acceptance binch

Sometimes, the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are

The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on Earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me! It's like the tide, always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me That come what may I know the way

Show Yourself - Frozen 2 

🏳️‍🌈 - this one was claimed immediately by the queer community and we all have a stake in it but i do want to point out that i got this from a LOT of 🤍 🖤 💜 💚

I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside You have secrets too But you don't have to hide

I've never felt so certain All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason Could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different Normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?

Oh, show yourself Let me see who you are... Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more!

(Come, my darling, homeward bound) I am found!

Transformation / Beauty and the Beast (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈

We are home, we are where we shall be forever  Trust in me, for you know I won’t run away from today This is all that I need, and all that I need to say  Don’t you know how you’ve changed me? Strange how I finally see  I found home, you’re my home, stay with me... 

Finale / Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production 

🏳️‍🌈 this makes me bawl so it gets finale

There’s so much I longed to say Then say it all, beginning with today It’s like a dream I thought could never be  Elsa, you’re free 

Here we stand in the light of day Let the sun shine on 

I take this warmth within and send it up above Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this world with light and love And here surrounded by a family at least  We’re never going back, the past is in the past 

Let our true love go  Let it go!

#disney #disney songs #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #mine

[muwur]

do u think u could write something fluffy for atsumu? :D (if not, bc he just showed up in the anime, futakuchi?) nd they/them pronouns pls :3 ty ty!!!

dating headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for atsumu and futakuchi

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.6k words

a/n: oml my first request fgrinffej thank u anon <3 been doing sum ~research~ and brainstorming snaccing and i hope this is okay ! >:) for u i shall do both ppl hehe. feel free to lmk if you would like me to redo or add anything, i wanna do my requests justice :*)

also i find myself gettin inspo at 4 am ofhfuohf i hope this is a bit fluffy, tho its a bit playful n snarky as well fnoggrefjf. also this took me so long bc i literaly got this whole other idea LMAOOOO but i find it more suitable as a separate piece so be on the lookout for that (nudge nudge itll feature atsumu ;) i got a bit carried away AAHA). here u goo

atsumu

✧ boi’s a tease

✧ on days he stays really late to practice so like?? most days LOL  you drop by a nearby eatery and pick up some fatty tuna (or something else, you like to change it up sometimes even if fatty tuna is his fave)  for him to munch on (gotta replenish your body!!)

✧ even though it’s for him, he’ll make you share the food with him as you both sit on a field nearby the gym

✧ likes to feed you but exaggerates it just to mess with you

✧ “say ahh, y/n” he coos with a smirk when he holds out some food from his chopsticks

✧ and just to mess with him back, you close your mouth around the piece, taking it from the chopsticks slowly and never breaking eye contact with him until after you chew and swallow

✧ “ah, that was delicious, honey” you smile cheekily

✧ rip atsumu, he malfuncc inside

✧ however

✧ fights you for the last piece of any food or snack you’re sharing

✧ “why even offer sharing if you’re just gonna hog it all”

✧ “you were just slower than me, that’s not my problem”

✧ in the end, he would definitely just let you have it. Only fights you when hes bored and wants to provoke you, which is often

✧ pretty affectionate in public. likes to ruffle your hair or place a head on your hand, no matter what height you are

✧ especially likes to do this when you’re annoyed at him, which kinda makes it not cute anymore and you just wanna punch him in the face

✧ as annoying as he could be tho you had to admit that your bickering could be quite fun he was definitely a caring partner

✧ is quick to take notice how youre feeling, liek:

✧  “hey, are you feeling okay?”

✧ “yeah im fine, why?”

✧ “you know you dont have to lie, right? you cant hide these things, anyways, i can just tell if something’s up. what’s wrong, babe?”

✧ pulls you aside to talk things out a little, then offers to spend some time together after practice  

✧ squeezes your hand as he walks you home, plants a soft kiss to your forehead before parting ways, and says goodnight

✧ he also notices any changes, no matter how small, in your appearances:

✧ *scrutinizing you* “what do you want, atsumu?”

✧ “did you do something different today? maybe like with your hair or uniform or something?”

✧ “o-oh, yeah, i did.”

✧ “hm. it really suits you, actually.”

✧ “oh, thanks. it’s such a small change, i didnt think anyone would notice--”

✧  “dont get too ahead of yourself, i didnt say it looked nice-- im kidding, im kidding!” he has to say in order to defend himself from your piercing glare

✧ lowkey highkey cant go long without seeing you

✧ so when he finally gets to spend some time with you, he’s even more touchy than usual

✧ you eye him suspiciously before saying, “you’re acting like you missed me or something”

✧  “yeah, i did miss you. something wrong with that?” he asks, burying his face in your neck as he hugs you from behind

✧ “yes, because its been two days”

✧ expect lots of kisses and hugs, though. mans is deprived and he gets what he wants (with consent, of course)

✧ makes sure everyone knows he’s there to stand up for you if necessary, which can be pretty intimidating

✧ loves it when you fall asleep on his shoulder. will take selfies with your sleeping face and show you later

✧  “you look cute even when you’re drooling all over my arm”

✧ doesn’t talk about how he sniffed or kissed your head when you were asleep. definitely doesn’t admit how he was whispering about how lucky he was to be in love with you asdfghjk

✧ was the first to admit he loved you

✧ it occurred after his team won a game to qualify for nationals. excitedly, you raced your way to meet him and tackled him in a hug. who cares if he was sweaty. “i knew you guys would win, and im so proud, atsumu.”

✧ he stumbled a bit and hugged back. he pulled away shortly to look you in the eye

✧  “y/n, i love you.”

✧ and all you could do was blush before he pulled you into a soft, yet passionate kiss

✧ surrounded by like. literally everyone lol

✧ osamu just fake gags in the background

✧ later that day:

✧  “sooooo do I get a reward for winning ? ;)”

✧  “dont push your luck”

✧ but you do spend the night just chilling at his place, watching a movie and cuddling, unwinding from a long day

futakuchi

✧ you met each other in class, bonding over how bored and sleepy you both were

✧ one day he started passing you notes and you went with along it until this class’s purpose in y’alls lives was just for goofing off and totally not to see each other’s smiles or be a bit flirty

✧ loves to mess around with you, but also thinks highly of you

✧ shortly after you started dating and met the boy’s volleyball team, moniwa asks you to please keep futakuchi in line

✧  “babe, please, you’re driving your seniors crazy”

✧ but ever since he became captain, you could sense that futakuchi seemed more responsible

✧ but poor bby was also wayyyy more tired than usual

✧ you poked his back with your pencil whenever you found him dozing off in class, just in time before he risked getting caught by the teacher

✧ you also nagged him about getting more rest and maintaining his health, doing things to help him out until he gave in and made a better attempt at taking care of himself

✧ unless you have other activities going on, you’d usually come by the gym to watch practice and then walk home with futakuchi

✧ you always bring him and his team snacks. they all love you, especially koganegawa

✧ “how are you and y/n dating, they’re so much nicer than futaku--”

✧ cant even finish his sentence before the captain smacks his head and poor kogane chokes on his snacc

✧ but les be real you also go to admire your manz

✧ on the walk home one day:

✧  “you hit a really good spike today”

✧ sheepishly scratches the back of his head, “oh, thanks. kogane’s sets are improving, so it’s getting easier to hit the ball”

✧ secretly loves and craves your praise

✧ futakuchi’s pretty down for pda. you two can often be seen walking down the aisles, hand in hand

✧ will also give you lots of pecks, especially on your cheeks and lips

✧ he also insists on helping you carry your things

✧ wants you to rely on him

✧ saw you shivering once and took his jacket off, draping it around you like nbd

✧ lets just say he wishes he coulda thought of that sooner dhqnwxhgergk  youre not allowed to look this cute

✧ but now you literally keep half his closet in your house cuz he always tells you to return it whenever you want

✧ could go on dates anywhere and literally have such a good time. the night market? y’all will share foods and play games the whole time. the park? he could go for a nice, relaxing walk, or if it’s at night, he’d love to lie in the grass and admire the night sky with you (as long as you hold hands lol). at home? would totally binge some shows or movies with you, has sour gummies n a blanket ready to share hog

✧ can be a tease, but will protect you at all costs

✧ glares at anyone who looks at you with interest (boi gets jealous)

✧ had to pull you into his arms and give you a kiss to save you from getting hit on by someone from a rival school. “hey babe, i’ve been looking for you. let’s head back, everyone’s waiting.”

✧ you happily follow him, not noticing how futakuchi looks back at his now sworn-enemy and sticks his tongue out at them

✧ he will fIGHT anyone who hurts you, is very overprotective to say the least

✧ always makes sure he knows where you’re at, starts to worry a bit if you’ve gone mia

✧ got reallly worried one time when he called you like 5 times and you didnt pick up!

✧ 20 minutes later his phone rings and he picks it up immediately. “hello? y/n? are you okay?? you haven’t been answering me for a while.”

✧  “ahh, yes, im sorry about that, my phone died :P”

✧ thinks the best cuddles are the ones in which you both end up falling asleep. also likes to admire your sleeping face totes not a creeper

✧ also loveloveloves to snuggle you from behind and bury his face in your neck and loves to just smELL you

✧ you told him you loved him first

✧ you were having a rough day when you heard a knock on your door

✧ opening it, you found a futakuchi giving you a small smile and carrying a plastic bag full of goodies. “i, uh, didn’t want you to be alone, so i thought we could hang out for a bit? just us two, your favorite snacks, and whatever else you want to do”

✧ touched by his gesture, you pulled him in by his jacket’s collar and gave him a long kiss

✧ after separating, you looked into his eyes as you cupped his face gently. “thank you, kenji. i love you. this means a lot to me”

✧ ejiufnicenjfdhksujsk he nearly melted in place

✧ later tries playing the pocky game with you, but then y’all forget about the pocky after your first round and stick to the smooching

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya #futakuchi kenji #futakuchi x reader #haikyuu x you

[gevejsbvdj]

Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex. 

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that. 

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE. 

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it. 

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley? 

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me. 

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile. 

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn. 

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck. 

Jesus. Okay, moving on. 

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t. 

Mel couldn’t provide proof either. 

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant. 

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot. 

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to. 

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom. 

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true. 

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that. 

Listen to me. 

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD. 

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture. 

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts. 

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty? 

...I’m gonna let you answer that. 

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it... 

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out. 

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE. 

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

black lives matter resources

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Big News

Summary: Sarah and Ava have big news for the groupchat.

WC: ~1.5k

[Other Bekker renamed the chat “HOUSE PARTY”]

Other Bekker: it’s official

Other Bekker: i own a house

Other Bekker: with my WIFE!!!!!!

Bekker: We’re throwing a housewarming party and everyone’s invited!

Dr. Lanik: What’s the dress code

Other Bekker: casual if you wear a suit ill kill you

Ethan Choi: When? 

Bekker: We were thinking it would start at around six or seven? It would mean a lot to us if Crockett could make it.

FreeWilly: Will there be alcohol?

Other Bekker: some of us are sober. No

no-ah: I’m in

Maggie<3: Wait who’s sober other than Crockett?

Dr. Lanik: Me

Other Bekker: me

connor: @OtherBekker there was an open bar at your wedding

Bekker: Circumstances change

Ethan Choi: This is such a fun conversation. Let’s not have it.

April: So back to the party… details!

Other Bekker: ill send the address in a bit but its gonna be potluck style. Everybody brings food. itll be pretty casual so dont be that asshole (@Dr.Lanik). starting at six ish and ending at maybe 10 or 11 depending on how tired we all are

Ethan Choi: Crockett’s program usually ends at like 5:30 so we might be a little late?

Other Bekker: ok sounds good. how is he btw

Ethan Choi: Pretty well. He’s outpatient for another few weeks and then his doctors are going to discuss long term options. Hopefully he’ll be back at work soon, too

April: Tell him we’re proud of him?

Ethan Choi: As soon as I pick him up tonight.

-

Sarah: are we telling them tonight?

Wifey: I was thinking so, yes. I mean, we have our house, and the paperwork went through.

Sarah: im so excited

Wifey: Me too, honey

-

Nat: Not to alarm anybody but whoever’s in charge of Connor right now, come to treatment 4

FreeWilly: love the implication that we take turns babysitting him

Dr. Lanik: We kind of do. I think it’s Maggie’s turn.

Maggie<3: I’m not at work. Who’s next in line?

April: @QueenElsa

Queen Elsa: Fine

connor: im a big boy i can take care of myself

Nat: You literally have a concussion

Ethan Choi: Why?

Nat: He fainted after a surgery. His sugar is low on the finger prick and he said he hasn’t had any water since his shift started

Dr. Lanik: @connor We’ve talked about this

connor: ok boomer

Dr. Lanik: @connor Stop calling me a boomer! We’re the same age!

connor: ok

connor: boomer

Bekker: Can you grow up @connor

connor: no

Queen Elsa: Update for everyone, Connor is getting a CT. He’s eating a Snickers bar right now and we’re pushing fluids

FreeWilly: youre not you when youre hungry

Dr. Lanik: @Bekker @OtherBekker What day will your housewarming party be? My daughter’s birthday is Friday.

Maggie<3: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT

Other Bekker: ?????

Bekker: We were thinking Saturday.

April: @FreeWilly Did you know about this???????

FreeWilly: uh yeah?

no-ah: Why did none of us know you had a daughter?

Dr. Lanik: I just don’t see how it’s any of your business.

Nat: How old is she? Who’s her mother? What school does she go to? How did we go this long without knowing?

[Dr. Lanik has sent an image to the chat]

Dr. Lanik: This is Emma, she’s almost eleven, and this is the most information any of you will ever be getting about her.

Ethan Choi: Well this has been a wild ride

Other Bekker: now taking bets on how crockett will react. $10 says he thinks its a joke

no-ah: Coward. He knows everything. $20 says he already knew.

Other Bekker: youre on

Queen Elsa: ...Anyways, Connor’s CT came back alright. It’s a minor concussion; he’ll be fine soon. 

Maggie<3: That’s good

Dr. Lanik: @FreeWilly and I will look after him.

Ethan Choi: Just picked up Crockett, he says hi. He also has letters for each of you as part of his process

Nat: That’s sweet

Ethan Choi: I have been assured none of them contain nudes

Other Bekker: thank g-d

Ethan Choi: I’ll be giving them to you all at work.

Ethan Choi: Crockett will be cooking something I won’t even try to pronounce for the housewarming party

Other Bekker: his cooking is all so good...

no-ah: It slaps

Queen Elsa: Is it that pasta thing??? With the crawfish????

Ethan Choi: Honestly, I don’t know.

Nat: Owen and I are bringing cookies.

Bekker: Important question, @Dr.Lanik… will Emma be coming?

Dr. Lanik: No. I don’t want her near any of you.

connor: hes got a point

Maggie<3: Have you never, in your life, had to bring her to a doctor?

Dr. Lanik: We use East Mercy so that you all keep your noses out of my life.

FreeWilly: ouch

April: I mean, if I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want any of you near her either.

Nat: Harsh, I trust you with my son

April: You’re different.

Bekker: Do I hear wedding bells?

Nat: @April What if we kissed in the doctor’s lounge… and we’re both girls?

Nat: Haha just kidding

Nat: Unless…?

April: Did you just hit on me with a meme

Nat: Did it work?

Other Bekker: another win for the gaydies

Other Bekker: THEY BOTH JUST WENT INTO THE DOCTORS LOUNGE JHGFKHFRH

Ethan Choi: Crockett laughed 

connor: do you read these messages to him?

Ethan Choi: Sometimes. He likes to be in the loop.

FreeWilly: hot take but. we could just add him back to the chat?

Ethan Choi: He’s not ready for that yet, but he does like to be updated on your lives and one-on-one texting is stressful for him

Other Bekker: we spend more time talking about crockett now than we did when he was in the chat

no-ah: Sweet I have my Crockett letter

Ethan Choi: I'll put them in your lockers. My shift is starting so I'm turning my phone to silent. 

Other Bekker: Crockett Time

Bekker: Did he write me one?

Other Bekker: @Bekker both mine and yours are in my locker i think. one is for "blonde bekker" and one is for "brunette bekker"

no-ah: That's what he has your contacts saved as 

Queen Elsa: Mine is just a smiley face sticker in an envelope?

Other Bekker: jsyk we should probably keep these private! this is important to him

Maggie<3: I'm so excited to see him again on Saturday, I've missed him.

FreeWilly: He's been busy. I think his program is like eight to five every day but Sunday

Nat: What's that even like?

Other Bekker: they have an in house aa group that meets a few times a day and theres a ton of other support like therapy to get to the root of the problem. i mean before he got sober the first time he was self medicating 

Other Bekker: he does a lot of art therapy i think. when he was inpatient he kept mailing paintings to my wife and i 

-

Curry (Not Dr.): Hey, it's Elsa Curry from Med. Sarah gave me your number. I was just wondering why you gave me a sticker?

Crockett: dont u put them on the inside of your binder? the one u put ur case notes in at the end of ur shift 

Curry (Not Dr.): How did you know that?

Crockett: u pull ur binder out when ur stressed to reference old cases. i thot u might like another sticker so u know ur not in this alone

Crockett: :)

-

[crickett has renamed the chat "dick bros"]

crickett: @connor do u wanna fuck again this weekend lmao

connor: ???

connor: i thought that was a one time thing

Ethan Choi: It doesn't have to be. 

-

Maggie<3: @Bekker @OtherBekker Sorry I'm running a little behind! I couldn't find my keys

Bekker: No harm, no foul!

[Bekker has sent an image to the chat]

Bekker: Definitely hurry, we're having so much fun!

-

Crockett: baby

HUBBY: I'm sitting right beside you.

Crockett: ik but im feeling kinda overwhelmed 

HUBBY: Do you want to go home?

Crockett: i think i just need air will you cover for me if someone comes looking

-

Other Bekker: THANK YOU @Maggie<3 FOR ACTUALLY HELPING CLEAN UP 

FreeWilly: sorry!

connor: sorry ahhhhhh i didnt think about it 

Nat: Congrats again, you two, this is huge!

April: ^^

no-ah: Will we get to meet her, or will she be a secret like Laniks daughter?

Bekker: You'll all definitely get to meet her, but let's not do so much at once? Adjusting to a new home is hard, and from what the adoption agency tells us, she's had a rough go of it.

no-ah: Of course! 

Queen Elsa: No little girl could have a better home! Congratulations on your daughter and I wish you really good luck. If you ever need help, we're all here!

Dr. Lanik: She's about eight, right?

Bekker: Yes

Dr. Lanik: If she needs help adjusting, let me know, and maybe Emma and I can help. She was about that age when I adopted her.

connor: the Lanik lore we are getting today omg

Dr. Lanik: You'll both be great parents, and @OtherBekker don't hesitate to let me know if you need extra time off. This is a big deal and you shouldn't have to stress about work when you should be worrying about your family. @Bekker I'll also ask Dr. Latham to be lenient with you as well.

Other Bekker: thank you from both of us <3

connor: who knew lanik had a heart. 

#chicago med #fic #mine #medgroupchat

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

*clears throat* *pulls up powerpoint* *shuffles speaker notes*

okay kids strap in this is gonna be long probably. im gonna add a read more so hopefully that works, otherwise i am,,so sorry,,

w that lets begin

so. lets start w the basics

season 1: didnt like him. really didnt like him. i have Issues w suicide as a topic in general so when he baited midoriya he lost any fondness i couldve had towards him. then his actions durnig the battle training? hes a fcukin maniac. but i enjoyed learning more abt him as a character so whatever. i thought his confrontation w midoriya in the aftermath of that was,,interesting

season 2: still dont like him, but his eventual coming arnd during the final exam made me more open to him. also sports festival was,,,interesting, ig. i thought it was interesting how he wouldnt accept the win; if he was the same character he was in season 1, he wouldve taken it, i feel like. but he didnt. so hey, growth smwh

season 3: i thought i didnt like him, but then he got kidnapped and i got a case of the shakes(tm) until he was rescued. i rlly vibed w midoriya screaming and crying while he was kidnapped. cut to the provis license exam:

(excuse my crying abt aoyama lmao)(and also the fact that i used to call bakugou “bakugon” yes i know thats not his name yes i did that bc i didnt like him and i think im funny as shit). then,,,the scene. kacchan v. deku 2. uhh i was vibing w him honestly. hes a mood,,,regrettably,,,until he beat midoriya at least

season 4 (so far): pls stop yelling, regrettably relatable gremlin

now lets dive into what all that means huh

i dislike bakugou for the following reasons.

- suicide-baited midoriya. not only that, but he tormented him for years simply because he couldn’t get over his own private feelings; midoriya did nothing to deserve his scorn. literally nothing.

- beyond even that, is still a prick to most everyone he meets; he’s short and irritated and won’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt (at least not as first). 

- even now, he still has issues giving respect or even just being decent to both people he knows and people he doesn’t.

- speaking of, he has never ever apologized for his previous actions. not even after he finds out he’s wrong (like when midoriya tells him he never, ever, looked down on him). he hasnt even really apologized via action rather than words if you wanna try that route with me. he might be better than he was, but he refuses to acknowledge that he was ever wrong in the first place and thats not functional

- hes so focused on “winning” as a concept. it doesnt matter if youre supposed to be an ally to him; if he perceives you as being in his way, he’ll do his damnedest to fucking destroy you. he has few genuinely heroic qualities (not to say he has few good qualities, just few heroic ones); hes just strong and determined, but he’s a case study of how those qualities can be twisted as all fucking hell

- hes so proud. he is s o fucking proud. he has such an issue with pride that i cant fucking handle it sometimes man

i like bakugou for the following reasons.

- he has grown. he might not have said anything to anyone about it, but he has grown as a person since the series started

- he does have morals and he sticks to them. they might be basic things such as “dont be a villain” but theyre. something and he stands by them. hes not a slimy snake is what im saying

- hes funny. when he isnt actively bringing others down, i actually enjoy the screentime he has, bc its really funny, esp when he’s interacting w his friends and theyre having visible fun messing arnd w him

- this particular reason is hard to phrase so let me just. try and word vomit it correctly. i didnt expect him to be capable of blaming himself for smth like all might’s retirement. but he was and i,,,it adds layers to his character that i appreciate a lot. so its not that i like that he feels guilty abt it, but what it means for his character

- his interactions with kirishima. its proof that he’s learning how to be better, slowly but surely, and how to care about others properly. its sweet, genuinely and wholeheartedly

- hes not always rewarded by the narrative, and that makes him much more human to me, which i really appreciate. the biggest example i can think of is that he didn’t pass his provisional license exam on the first try. i think he’s gonna have a low point eventually, but hopefully, from there, he tries to build his way out into a better life as a better person

yeah

its just...very complex. he reminds me of myself, or at least a person i used to be. he actually reminds me of a couple combinations of ppl i used to be; just like bakugou, ive had smth similar to both a superiority and an inferiority complex in the past so its djkfjkdjnk,,,regrettably relateable,,,,,,not at the same time like he does but yknow the feeligns and how they clash are still there

but yeah. its bc he reminds me of myself i both hate him and like him.

like he reminds me of aspects abt myself i h a t e. i have issues w pride, i used to be a huge jerk (not to the degree he was, thank god, but i have a conscious now so when im reminded of how i used to be in like elementary school, i feel ashamed and since bakugou hasnt fucking,,,acknowledged,,the abuse he put midoriya through yet,,i get angry with him)

and the one guilt episode we saw him have reminded me of a very dark time in my life (2016) and its just. oh no. so thats where the anger fizzles out because i cant hate that more than i just feel pity abt it

in contrast, its bc he reminds me of things i hate abt myself that i have high hopes for him. i crawled out of the hole i was in; i made it through the stages of being a prick and then being thrust into a guilt-induced depression. im certainly not a good person, but im much better than i was

so just,,im already proof that ppl can change, but,,,,if i had a character to cling to when doubt came creeping in, i think that wouldve be great. i know im not the only one that feels like this. if bakugou can make the right turnaround, i think he could mean a lot to a bunch of people, me included

obviously the turnaround would have to be done right (and he better fucking beg for midoriya’s forgiveness) but i have hope that it can be

he has a long way to go, both in action and in word. but i am hopeful for his development. he reminds me of many things i hate about myself, but also to push on despite those things. my feelings about him are complicated due to that

yea. heres my book report sir djknkjnsknfjkn

#idk if this is very coherent but oh well #i love him i hate him i have such high hopes for him- #jkdjkd #c makes a word #textpost #bakugo katsuki

[janetbrown711]

“Does it get lonely?” Eva and Lena?

Eva and Louie teleported to the familiar part of the underworld, right in front of a gate where Cerberus waited, wagging his tale when he saw them. Eva smiled and ran right toward him and started petting him.

"I almost didn't believe her when she said Cerberus liked you. Guess i see that now," Louie said.

"Well who could resist such a handsome and good boy," Eva said as Cerberus barked happily.

"Usually everyone. C'mon. Do you want to see your girlfriend or not?" Louie asked, opening the gate.

"Right... right... can Cerberus come along?" Eva asked. Louie looked at them to ponder a moment.

"Plleeeeaaaaasssseeeee?" She begged.

"No, no. He has a job to do. He needs to guard the gates," he decided.

"Awwww," Eva lowered her head as Cerberus whined.

"Oh you'll get over it," Louie rolled his eyes and summoned a bone for all three of Cerberus' heads, which kept him happy enough for Eva and Louie to leave.

"Sooooo... we're just gonna walk dorectly to Lena and say 'surprise I snuck away from my mother so she's gonna be pissed as heck, but hey at least I'm here now'?" Eva asked.

"If that's what your plan is," Louie said.

"Right... that sounds good. I don't need to stall," Eva nodded.

"Right. Here we are," in the blink of an eye it seemed they appeared at a giant black door. It looked as if it were made of obsidian and at least 10 feet tall.

"Do we knock or...?" Eva asked, but Louie had already put his hand on the door and they slid open slowly.

"Louie, aren't you supposed to be killing people?" Lena called from the other room, "and you can teleport. When have you ever used the door?"

Louie didnt respond, letting himself in and Eva follow. He took her to the room where Lena sat on her throne looking over papers, but the moment Eva entered the room Lena shot up and looked at her.

"I thought I smelt life. Eva, what on tartarus are you doing here?" Lena got up and went to her.

"I ran away again, but this time to stay much, much longer. Maybe forever. I'm really mad at my mom. I just cannot stand those stupid gardens. I want to be here, with you," Eva grabbed Lena's hands, looking her in the eyes. Lena blushed.

"Mariella will be begging for Webby to strike me down or to drown me in the river Styx," Lena said.

"She doesn't know where I am. Trust me," Eva reassured her, "besides, it's not like she can stomp her way in here. She'll need to get past Cerberus, who i am one hundred percent sure is on our side," she smiled.

"Well when you put it that way... Llewellyn, I'm going out for the day. That doesn't mean you can slack off, now I'm requiring you do your job plus at least half of the paperwork," Lena commanded, to which Louie nodded and disappeared in his familiar smoke.

"So shall we?" Lena offered her arm in escort.

"Oh of course!" Eva gladly accepted, but frowned when she discovered she was just too short to make it really work. Lena laughed.

"We don't have to walk like this if you don't want to," she suggested.

"No, no. I got this," Eva said. She thought hard for a very long time when suddenly vines burst through the ground, lifting her up to be the proper height.

"How on earth did you do that? This is the underworld. Plants don't grow here. Except for that one garden, but still," Lena baffled.

"I'm a plant goddess. I want plants to make me taller, i get plants to make me taller," Eva lifted her head up proud.

"You're so adorable," Lena laughed.

"Why thank you," Eva nodded, and they started walking together.

"So how long do you think you can stay here without your mother finding out and making her way down here?" Lena asked as they strolled.

"Forever hopefully. I'm tired of her treating me like a possession. I just want to be here. With you," Eva smiled. Lena couldn't help but smile too, but a though occured to her that made it waver.

"Does it get lonely?" She asked.

"Yeah... it does. The flower nymphs are great and all but they're just... so... annoying," she laughed.

"Oh you're telling me? Deal with them when they're dead," Lena chuckled.

"Oh i can believe that," Eva agreed.

"But to answer yeah. It does. Dewey stops by every now amd then with a letter but mother doesn't leave me alone with anyone for more than ten minutes," Eva said.

"Geez, you should see her on the council. And the way she runs spring ugh, she is so uptight," Lena said.

"I know right?! It's psychotic, how organized it is. I'm so glad she's given me the reigns in recent years. Only for a bit though, but hey, its nice," Eva shrugged.

"Sounds like it," Lena agreed.

"Gah, you know in some ways i envy your family," Eva said.

"I'm sorry- what?! My family?" Lena cackled.

"What? What's so funny about that? At least you have sibilings," Eva put her hands on her hips.

"Well yeah, but have you met my parents? They're crazy. My dad literally ate me and my siblings. The titans are absolutely bonkers," Lena said.

"Well true... but they're gone now. So, isn't everything good now?" Eva asked.

"Depends on your opinion on good. I mean we tolerate each other but the pantheon never agrees on anything. Heck, the only reason i got this underworld gig is because the only way we could decide was pulling straws. Webby won, Violet sorta won, and I lost. But hey, fair is fair. We barely talk about that anyway. If you consider that good, then hey, that's good," Lena said.

"So you never wanted to be queen of the underworld?" Eva asked.

"Well... i never was too fond of all the other gods. They were always so loud and obnoxious. I always liked to imagine myself on the sea, all alone on a boat of my choosing. It'd be nice is all I'm saying," Lena sighed as she shook the idea away.

"So why don't you leave?" Eva asked.

"I can't just shirk all my duties. The underworld would be in chaos without me and ghost would probably leak into the overworld and it'd be a mess. Trust me when I say its better this way. I find some joy in my work anyhow. If i wasn't queen of the underworld i wouldn't have Cerberus, and he's my best friend," Lena said.

"Well what about Louie?" Eva asked.

"Llewellyn? Well he works for me. I don't know if i can exactly call him a friend. Him being a friend would just... distract me. And him," Lena stated.

"Well then I guess I see why Louie wanted me to be his friend so bad, since the only person who can would think it a distraction. I bet you two are friends but don't consider yourselves friends because you aren't buddy buddy," Eva crossed her arms.

"Maybe you're right... c'mon. I know a place where we can go," Lena gestured for Eva to follow and they started walking again.

They walked a bit in silence, turning corners here and there in the dark hallways that were lit by blue torches along the wall. Despite the underworld usually being really, really hot the temple was surprisingly chilly. Eva wished she brought a coat.

"We're here," Lena said when they arrive to a dark blue door with a warning sign written in a language Eva didn't speak.

"What's it say?" Eva asked.

"'Warning: hot lava. No living souls entry' in Fury," Lena stated.

"Uh... are you sure i should be here then?" Eva questioned.

"Don't worry, I say that to keep the furies away. You'll be fine," Lena winked as she opened the door to reveal a garden unlike any Eva had ever seen, even the one she had visited earlier.

The trees were grey and twisted about, but they had beautiful orange blossoms springing out of it, indicating it was still alive. Looking closely at the bark she could see lava running through it. The grass was grey and felt soft under her bare feet. There were plenty other plants and trees growing about, and not to far off was a stunning waterfall but made of lava. A lavafall if you will.

"This is so pretty! How did you make it grow?" Eva asked.

"This garden is my own secret project. It isn't like the garden of souls where the dead are put into the plants, but rather I used the seeds your mother gives me in the cornucopia and mutate them with the lava so they can grow into the fruit of the underworld. I never was too fond of the way above world food tasted. This is where it's at," Lena said.

"Can I have some then?" Eva asked.

"Eva... if you ate one of these then you become part of the underworld and can never leave. Are you truly ready to make that kind of commitment to never leave this place and never see the overworld or most of your friends, even your mother, thereof?" Lena asked. Eva sat on a marble bench.

"Well when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so easy, heh..." Eva tried to laugh, but it fell flat.

"Well... doesn't hermes stop by and every now and then?" Eva asked.

"He sometimes helps lost souls find there way to the underworld and has a small room in here, yeah," Lena said.

"Well... then yeah. Im okay," Eva nodded.

"What about your mother? Are you positive you never want to see her again?" Lena questioned. Eva had to pause to think.

"I think she needs to learn that i don't belong to her the hard way. I'm ready," Eva made up her mind. Lena nodded.

"Which do you want to try?" Lena asked.

"Oooh they all look soooo good! Hmmmm," Eva wandered through the garden a bit before picking a pomegranate from a silver tree.

"You and your pomegranates," Lena rolled her eyes.

When Eva took a bite out of the juicy purple fruit, Louie teleported into the room with a message.

"Lena, Mariella is here, and she wants her daughter."

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

#ducktales au #hades and persephone au #my fics #eva colibri #louie duck #lena despell #cerberus #a good boy #love them #fun tid bit i have legit never eaten a pomegranate #idk what they taste like #so #next parts gonna be fun #mariella is angry #lol #good luck lena

[zackmephisto]

dirt watches aew

ITS TIME BITCHEZ

stop i don't want to see this betrayal :(

mjf turned and now my depression is Worse i hate him i love him :(

JURASSIC EXPRESS AAAAAA

N Y L A YES OG MY GOD

i know I didnt hear yall boo nyla.

HANGMAN AND PAC REEEE

SCUUUUU REEEEE

M I S T E R M O X L E Y

:'''''(

STOP IM GONNA CRY KENNY NOOO

is it really nakazawa v mox. that's wild

mox looks good wtf?

STOP pulling the crazy shit dude. hes a good boy.

is he wrestling in pants bc his legs got fucked up or

that was weak. wtf ?

is it just bc hes still sort of hurt and they want to book him stronger than kenny?

o he speak

"you are one radical son of a bitch" how come he can say bitch but chuck cant say the s word

👀

damn yeah what's next for him. he really did fuck up kenny. who is next. I'm excited idc who is next like.... whoever it is they're gonna be working w the best of the best tbh

wait what the fuck why is it a championship match with sammy and chris and scu. why

cheer dark order and their gimp army you FUCKING cowards

T H E M!!!!!

GOD I LOVE MY CHILDREN STOP IM GONNA CRY MARKO WEARING THE MASK

THE MARKO CHANTS THANK YOU LORD

i have no more will to live now that marko ate the pin

STOP BEFORE I CRY FOR REAL

oH MY GOD LUCHASAURUS AAAA

luchasuarus said "back off my baby dinosaurs" and i respect that

hes obv still a little hurt tho you can see it in his movement

I STAN ONE DINOSAUR FAMILY

hmmm how come scu have to defend their championships every five minutes but chris jericho is always safe 🤔

gfys shawn spears

i'm a simple woman. i see shawn spears on my screen and I switch tabs

I constantly thank god for darby allin

Aubrey 😍😍😍😍

if darby loses i sue

JOEY!!!

uh. i mean. i mean. joey. big deal. who even cares about him and his braids and he smells anyway 😡

thank u darby i love you and definitely not joey...

DARBY AND JON WAIT STOP I CANT BREATHE OH MY GOD NO PLEASE THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN SCREEEEEE

I'm literally screeching darby vs mox??? NAME A MORE ICONIC DUO

ya'll have a crowd full on transphobes huh

darby vs mox tho this is so goddamn exciting

SO excited oh my god who is nyla fighting !!

who??

people really are such big transphobes that they're cheering someone who hasn't had a match yet. i hate straighties

thank you queen I love you

get well soon dad i miss u :(

i feel like i should know her by sight but i don't

o i remember her. i like her merch

shes annoying

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

AWESOME KONG AND BRANDI MY SKIN IS CLEARING AS I SPEAK

perish, blonde woman

god i love this. i LOVE THIS

if mjf joins the inner circle i want it to be known right now at 5:56 pm that i will Still Stan. okay. i stood w baron corbin through it all. i'll stand by mjf through it all.

every time some one swears on aew and it's not chuck taylor i lose six months of my life

OH?!?!?!

HELLO MAX I LOVE YOU GOOD MORNING MY SWEET SCARF SON

he's handsome no one @ me ever again

i lov u asshole love you so much

LOVE YOUUUU

NO I LOVE YOU I'M NOT UPSET I LOVE YOU

expose him Max EXPOSE HIM

max 😍😍😍😍😍

I believe every word you've ever said ever

max is right stop SAYING MEAN THINGS TO HIM

THIS MAN IS HURT MAY I HUG HIM

max STOP I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

AND WHAT A HANDSOME NEW FACE IT IS

YES YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM AND I DO KNOW IT

wake up sheeple max is RIGHT

"my third or fourth installment" go off king.. go off......

sigh. I didnt want to do this. but i'm gonna have to stan.

or not?

MAX SAID A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY AND I IMMEDIATELY GOT UP TO GRAB THE CHAMPAGNE I SAVED FOR THIS EXACT SITUATION

ok thank god i dont have to stan the inner circle

thanks max i love you

HE IS HANDSOME ITS TRUE

ok... maybe that was funny. but I still love max

dont do this Max I dont want to stan

this is making me laugh hella hard dncnsndj

I LOVE THE HUG

cody man come on just let me have my max in peace

sigh

cmon Maxwell let's go

who?

wardlow I see

ok. I stan if he likes max

@ Maxwell Jacob Friedman choke me like that d*ddy

good morning it's been an hour and I've had four mikes and am on my fifth i'm drunk and in love with mjf

cowboy 😍😍😍😍😍

wait please don't let hangman lose I dont want to see him sad anymore

pac is fucking. more than human. I love him too

COW👏BOY👏SHIT👏

"i'm shocked by pac's leg strength" me 2 bud. those legs? i'm always shocked. hes so ripped his muscles have muscles

BASTARD SHIT LMFAOO HOW THE TURNS HABE TABLED

COWBOY STOP MAKING THESE NOISES I FEEL NSFWORK

yall are going to commercial in the middle of this match? disgostang. guess its valid bc this alcohol is going right thru me but. >:(

so Twitter says luchasaurus is actually Back back I'm really really happy abt that I missed dinosaur father

i finished going to the bathroom and sat down and it came back on clearly this is dirt rights

hangman and pac didnt get up for a second and I was Ben Affleck w cigarette. jpeg for a second thinking abt pac vs moxley

thank u for being a good bean mr ref bryce

:(((((((((((((((((((((

suing aew for emotional distress

JESUS matt Jackson

OH MY GOD AAAAAA ORANGE IVE NEVER LOVED A MAN MORE

literally I love orange cassidy more than i love myself

I'd be more exciting for this bucks/proud n powerful moment if orange cassidy wasn't on screen for two (2) seconds. His Impact

aew refs are my new mandatory kin

dont hurt Brandon Cutler hes a good boy

:(

thank god for private party

proud n powerful vs private party is dirt rights

me: :l

scu: SCUUUUU

me: :)

oh yeah btw my onion on scu officially changed i love them officially

SCU SAYS FUCK NASHVILLE BUT I LOVE WRESTLING FANS AND REALLY THATS CALIFORNIANS IN A NUTSHELL, I CAN CONFIRM, BEING CALIFORNIAN

i'm DRUNK thank god for autocorrect

why is sammy not vlogging. is he okay. does he have a fever

anyway if scu loses i'm suing again

jericho, a few weeks ago: WHO WEARS A SCARF

Jericho, today: wears a scarf tonight and talks abt scarfs today

judas FUCKS one of my fave songs of all time tbh

sammy guevara is like. 12. stop hip thrusting, child

kaz, my angel. I love you. so much

sammy: I GOT EM, DAD. I GOT EM

I love sammy BUT he better eat this pin so hard hes still tasting it next week

almost started filing my aew lawsuit when scorpio sky almost got pinned

I love how effective and strong the thesz press is. so wild. thank u mr sky

oh thank fuck. thank FUCK that pin wasn't complete

PLEASE MR SKY

THANK YOU MR SKY

SCU BEAT INNER CIRCLE SO NO ONE EVER TALK SHIT ABT CALIFORNIANS EVER AGAIN

unless ur californian. in which case ur allowed

scorpio sky being the first person in aew to pin Jericho is California Rights

that was a wonderful show. orange cassidy was there so it was 10/10. everyone say thank u aew

#dirt watches aew #11.13.19 #dirt's posts

[nenastrology]

Please talk about johnny joestar he is my favorite jojo character and your brain is huge

anon you are the only one i respect i swear to god im constantly thinking about him.. ok this is going under a cut out of respect for everyone who follows me who doesnt give a shit about jojo or part 7 and its gotten horrifically long im sorry

see this is where me actually liking part 1 and having rewatched the non hamon battle parts like 4 times finally pays off because i can mentally go into constant excruciating detail about like the ways part 1 is reimagined and like how they are both essentially the disfavored son in comparison to a brother but like jonathan is given a conflict that can directly contend with his family issues like he can punch dio and work that out hes given a perfectly laid out heroic quest to solve his turmoil and also confront if dio really is like better than him johnny is given no like easily narrative closure to those similar fears he could never like prove if he is better than his like very human extremely normal brother like he couldnt beat him in a race and like be like tee hee im the better horse racer or something and like side note jolynes definitely given the best version of the narrative conflict tying into familial and emotional issues that she like is both coming to terms with her relationship with her father while also like fighting a villain with ties to dio and like understanding what he went through and like she also like becoming her own self and reconciling with him all that shit ok back to johnny..

genuinely hes like the only jojo with a real arc… like id say jolyne and hermes are definitely like prototypes for characters experiencing um development and their past issues with their family and whatever like being part of how they grow and like become closer and trust each other but like johnny and gyro are the finally realized conclusion of araki being dragged into learning what character development is idk i really love johnnys entire journey that like he finally has somebody who gives a shit about him and he has like something he actually cares about that like ends up pulling him out of his aimlessness and he discovers how ruthless and driven he can be it drives me absolutely insane how nobody seems to um get his character that hes like some soft uwu boy when hes like absolutely one of the most ruthless and definitely the biggest asshole of all the jojos like god its sooo funny how like jonathan and dio its like dio has all the asshole energy and also they grew up together so theres reason for the animosity but johnny and diego have the same level of asshole energy and johnnys first reaction to seeing a dude who beat him at horse racing a few years ago like probably mortally wounded is just like hm he can die i really hate that guy but they barely know each other nobody gets it man…

but back to other things god im sorry i mean you know how disorganized i am you signed up for this sending me this ask jsd;dks; idk like god the fact that the fights actually became vehicles for character development forcing johnny and gyro to each face their own fears and like come to terms with what they truly value really gets me like johnny finally able to like go from idk needing to just be selfish out of survival instinct because everyone who had cared about him rejected him and like being forced to pick between the like thing he thought was giving his life meaning (the corpse parts) and gyro who was actually what was making the journey worthwhile and like he really for a moment thought he couldnt do it like didnt know if he had it in him at like his lowest point there and like he realizes hes far stronger than he thought he was and that he ultimately will do whatever he has to for the people he loves which like all really comes full circle with the lil flashback in part 8 showing johnnys death like that sugar mountain saying those who lose everything will ultimately gain everything well he does finally get the corpse back and in his possession and when he finally has it like its purely to use it to save his wife and son and like his sacrifice both tying back to jonathan and erina and like everything he learned in the course of sbr like ugh ;w; its sooo sad but ultimately like the perfect ending even if im gonna go like weep now..

im really saying things and going nowhere i havent even gotten back to his father oh my god i really love that like after hearing his father be proud of him like he literally just rides away and ultimately doesnt finish the race that like its this weird odd melancholy way of ending the whole thing like he idk stops when he needs to stop and has like found his own self worth apart from his fathers approval also hm its very weird i think later on how his disability is written that like literally some of the first things johnny says in the entire story is that him saying its the story of him learning to walk again is not in the literal sense but in the metaphorical sense but then by i guess convention that araki got too lazy to figure out how to make some of the later fights work and i guess because he hates metaphors that arent pounded into ur skull cuz i guess if u are making the stupid choice to read jojo u are stupid enough to need everything spelled out for u he decided he needed some other way to signify johnnys growth and its just very awkward and weird when like the whole story is him becoming more at peace with his past and everything that has happened to him its lazy and stupid and whatever ok i literally am like forcing myself to stop typing because im feeling the deep shame kick in because i dont think ive written this much about any character other than like yusuke or sasuke probably and i feel like the little spray bottle in the back of my mind that activates when i think too hard about jojo but like ok ive said my piece you may ask me more specific questions if u want me to elaborate.. whatever stan johnny joestar… this whole text wall was me coming to terms with him probably being my favorite jojo..

#jj lb

[ryoshan]

after the fall spoilers /

when u wanna liveblog but ur the first person you know to start/finish reading: a collection of disorganised and contextless thoughts by an excitable brit

book: mentions weiss and ruby 

me: SCREAMING

fox is from vacuo!!!!!! i am VINDICATED 

ADA ADA ADA ADA 

split point of view per chapter is sososososososoososos GOOD SO GOOD DO GOOD 

nothing will beat novels for their ability to drop explicit details in a short period of time 

VELVET HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY 

coco adele? was that a typo? or is adele her middle name? stylistic choice? hmm 

what a fucking show off our boy fox is 

tiny criticism: pls stop knocking on about coco’s fashion sense we get it you’re doing that thing where you boil her down to one trait, hopefully this will happen less as the book goes on 

FOX CLAPPED HIS HANDS TO HIS EYES. “OH NO!” HE SAID. “WHYYYYYYY?” 

this initiation is some juicy fucking lore my guys 

y.. yatsuhashi CAN FUCK WITH MEMORIES???

dyou think when fox stutters over a word in team cfvy’s mental group chat, coco, yatsuhashi and velvet repeat his mistake back at him 

i am supremely interested to know how fox’s semblance interacts with rens

i literally fucking winded myself at the start of chapter 5 gasping so hard 

“she looked like she had a mortal wound in her side” OH HAHA VERY FUNNY I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE 

coco mentoring ruby has given me more life than anything so far

WEISS DONT BE MEAN TO YATSUHASHI 

oh im not comfortable with weiss calling fox red that sounds very weird and not at all in character it sounds too much like torchwick and im not about making that association 

WHY WOULD HER HAND GO TO MYRTENASTER ARE YOU REALLY GONNA FIGHT FY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY WEISS?

i really did forget how much of an ego weiss has right in the beginning ive been writing her post development for too long 

BLAKE N VELVET BLAKE N VELVE T once again i gasped so hard my lungs hurt 

wow huh okay blake being violent is..... a surprise 

“I don’t believe in fighting prejudice with violence” jess is vindicated im so proud of my wife

COCO WAS GOING TO LIKE HER, VELVET THOUGHT you’re damn right she does

i dont like velvet and coco fighting ):

fox as the hardcore realist i am once again, VINDICATED

velvet employing the same words to gus as blake did to her..... aaa.....

yatsuhashi’s semblance makes me sad cause imagine if he made someone he thought cared about him forget him and it turned out to be really easy

UGH THE THEME IN THIS BOOK IS LEARNING LESSONS AND ITS SO APPARENT AAAAAA

fox and ruby interacted...... thank you for my life............

the inclusion of not only yatsu asking velvet to guide him so he can be better in terms of his language but also an active example of this happening is really pleasing to me 

as the player of a dnd character who always splits off from the group i can say with complete confidence fox splitting off from team cfvy in the sands of vacuo will almost certainly not go well

“she kept waiting for the others to see it” ;___;

PYRRHAAAA ;____________;

literally all it takes is her name and i am sad . 

this TEAM make my heart SURGE 

coco genuinely is the big explicit wlw i’ve been hoping for 

jesus christ coco hold urself together. 

fox vc alexa play darude: sandstorm 

OK BUT CYRANO IS MCFUCKING COOL MY DUDES I COULDNT HAVE IMAGINED SOMETHING LIKE THIS 

- as long as her remembered to charge his scroll. i knew it, boy’s gonna run out of battery . 

IF MY BOY GETS KILLED I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU ROOSTERTEETH

i love when things connect with canon i love it i love it 

why is coco of all people picking on velvet ): 

VELVET BITING BACK THO aaaaaa yay but also ):

uhg i love this fuck ign fami ly 

im.... emotional,,,,,

the cairn mission......... no wonder it was so hard..... im ): 

COCO FINALLY LETTIN VELVET DO SHIT YASS

I KNOW ITS JUST THE INDLUENCE OF GUS’ SEMBLANCE BUT IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN THEY FIGHT 

also im getting serious shadow of the colossus vibes

FOX BETTER NOT DIE BERTIE NEEDS TO GET FUCKED 

i love my son he’s so strong and smart 

theres so many death flags here i dont even know who they’re on anymore

lol jk he’s fine

i really love how sure of himself fox is and so he should be he’s fought really hard to be confident

it is REALLY cool seeing an actual scene from the show written from velvet’s perspective, im all about this 

moro is gonna be happy about glynda i know it she’s fab 

“we just need you to tell us everything” “ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING” ozpin still putting tremendous amounts of pressure on teenagers i see

“we prefer to speak with you individually so we can separate you from your support system while tugging on your vulnerabilities” 

yatsu getting mad ):

im not too fond on how blithely ‘coco never picked up on that’ regarding the finer points of velvet’s tendencies when coco has been established already as a people watcher and observational thinker.,

CFY TO THE RESCUE 

what the FUCK these adults???? hello????? “i deserved that” NO YOU DIDNT???? what did glynda think he was gonna do, stab ozpin??? 

“haha we broguth her here alone to TEST you!!! you passed because you came to her!!!! hahahahahah!!!!!!” fuck you ozpin 

no explanation as to WHY she had to be brought alone as if her ‘keen observational skills’ couldnt have been asked about in the presence of her team or indeed pulled fro the written report she’ll be making 

this is such a formative mission for them and i like it but damn ozpin really up here ruining it all 

the death flags were yatsu’s ALL ALONG 

oh god the impact of velvet using some of these weapons has not been lost on me and it must be devastating for her 

“if this didnt qualify, what did?” me when i get to the end of a game with 3468758976495 different things hoarded and dropping them all on the final boss

why are coco and velvet having a conversation like they’re about to die noones dying NOONES DYING 

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH SHIFTING TO A FLASHBACK YOU WANKERS

thumbelina peach...? really???? but hey looks like beacon has more than 4 professors now

“noone knew what had frozen that beast there” interesting . 

its interesting to me that so far its been atlas thats been shown to be the least accepting of faunus but now its becoming clear mistral is worse, worse enough that velvet wont even consider going there

“velvet waited for someone to ask her what she wanted, but they never did” :( 

anyway i cant wait to see how coco is gonna make the blind worm her bitch

yatsu is so shy about his semblance im sad for him, 

I CANT BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE 

coco getting edward to help ;_____;

its both funny and depressing that sssn are here and sage and scarlet are still yet to have any actual fuckin lines or DESCRIPTORS for that matter 

fox tapping that @ everyone command and getting chewed out for it 

COCO YOU BITCH THAT WAS ART 

u kno whats getting me most? 

BOOK #2 WHEN???????????

#idk why im surprised i finished it already when ive been doing nothing else all day #anyway im gonna take a break and then start a reread for analysis purposes #( ooc. they’re lesbians harold ) #after the fall spoilers / #rwby spoilers /

[survivesalem]

Episode 2 - “AHAHAHAHAHA 😂 -screams -” -Jessie

My plan worked, mostly. Czern left and I felt bad but it’s survivor. Raffy (I believe it was Raffy at least) voted with Czern which I don’t like tbh. Raffy has a lil target on my back and I’m sitting pretty with me being the least likely to go home at this point on my tribe. 4D chess, I don’t play chess but it’s hot. I hope my tribe and Liam’s tribe don’t lose any more challenges so we can dominate. I miss Liam 🥺🥰.

Originally I'm from tengaged so the way a social game is played and how you communicate with people is really different. Unfortunately I'm bored with a lot of people on my tribe. Austin is someone I like... I want him to view me as someone new and someone who'll make a good sheep. I can kinda sense he's gonna be trouble in a way, he doesn't seem super trustworthy. Jessie is a big question mark for me. IDK where I stand with her but I think we can get along but I also think she feels comfortable. At first I didn't like Dylan all that much but now they're really rubbing off on me. Dylan stans Avatar, I stan Avatar so in my eyes Dylan is a good person. Paolo is super friendly, he's also new to the ORG community so I feel him & I could make a good duo. Zach is probably my favourite person on the tribe idk why I just feel a good energy from him and I like it so I feel like if Paolo, Zach & I could link up and form a tight 3 and just knock off someone like Jessie that would make me feel good. I really wanna prove myself with the scavenger hunt challenge I feel like I've done a lot with the challenge but I feel like I can do more so I'm ready and willing to fight to keep my tribe safe.

Omg okay so I never made one of these but I will right now! So basically I like my tribe. I know a few people on here and the other ones seem nice. I would LOVE to avoid tribal, as I think I am not in the *best* standing, but I think if I attend tribal I mayyyy be able to survive. I LOVE THAT THERE IS NO TWIST THANK FUCKING GOD. Here are my thoughts on my tribe: Brien - I have hosted Brien and he is super talkative 24/7. He is a great guy and I really want him to trust me, but I have heard he created an alliance without me. I think if I just have some more activity we might be in the clear w him. Eve- I LOVE EVE. I played with Eve in BBPokemon and they were an incredible force. I know they tend to be villainous and make a splash every season, but hopefully I can them on my side and I won't be at the receiving end of their chaos. Cameron - Don't know them and will hopefully make them the first boot. Gizmo- Awesome! They are super nice to talk to and I can tell they are a good ass player. I want to align with them on this tribe, but I am not that passionate about it. Keegan- I. LOVE. KEEGAN. Keegan is super a sweetheart and such a good guy. He is SO good at orgs and I want to go far with him. Def my #1 fav on this tribe!

UM HELLO TRIBE WHERE ARE YOU ? Legit only me and Liam are submitting for the scavanger hunt and the clock is tick tick ticking . Like guys we aren’t winning if only two people submit . Do they not realize two tribes go to tribal ? It’s literally as quiet as the movie the quiet place . On the bright side maybe me doing stuff for the tribe means they’ll keep me because wow I’m active !

Here's the problem: my tribe is half inactive. Ben and Alex truly do not give a fuck whether we win or lose. This means they will be very easy vote offs during this phase of the game, but I don't want to risk having to repeatedly go to tribal over and over again. I am starting to get frustrated. They are literally not responding to any of my messages at all. I've tried reaching out to Ben twice now, and he hasn't replied back to either of those messages. I am so sick of it. For Alex, I don't know what his problem is either. This tribe truly is cursed in part due to them all being men. I need a swap to happen soon so that I can actually be put on a competent tribe. I am terrified that we are going to lose the challenge because it doesn't even seem like Ben or Alex know that it's even going on. Ugh. I'm so over this.

This scavenger hunt has been fun. I was thankful to already own most of the items between my apartment and my parents house. What I didn't have I had to drive around to find. What gave me the most trouble was the Magic 8 Ball. I ended up finding a mini 8 ball that was fully functioning. Given that 2 tribes are going to tribal counsel, and the current state of our sheet, I'm pretty sure Good is going to tribal council. I hope I'm wrong! But hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I think I'm safe this vote. I seem to be in the majority so long as I can trust them. I just hope we are all loyal until at least tribe swap or merge, whatever happens first. If we go to tribal, I'm pretty sure Eve will be getting the vote, but who's to say.

I do not believe we are winning this challenge. But I don't think I'd be the one voted out in any case. Alex and Ben both seems like they're not even going to submit for the challenge, so I will just ride this tribe out until we get rid of the both of them. I predict that there is a swap after this round because then it will be 15 which is the perfect time to swap into 3 tribes of 5. If not, I believe that we'll go till 14 to swap into two tribes of 7. Then, we'll merge at 11. I predict that Mac, Jay, and I will be able to survive till swap, but I'm not sure how I could begin to survive a merge. Maybe if I'm put on a tribe with either Dylan, Paolo, or Austin. I can make a pull on pre-existing relationships, but I will definitely have to give up control to them.

My tribe is filled with people who never learned how to read rules properly. Alex really said "I didn't know I had to put them in a doc." Like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I am exhausted. Why can't people rise to my level? Is that too hard to ask? And! Alex said something in the tribe chat which means he's actively ignoring my messages and for why? This doesn't make any sense to me at all. Are they purposefully throwing their social games down the toilet? This is what I get for being on a tribe with all men.

There’s an hour left in the challenge. I feel like we have a chance but also think we will lose. I’m worried but I know if we go back to tribal I’m the least likely to go home. That’s king shit. ✌️😙

I am sad because I know Czern wouldn't have disappointed me like this. Jay told me that Mac or Alex allegedly said that Ben was good at challenges. Where is that? Such bullshit.

Also Alex really didn't even attempt the videos nor the high point items, huh? Ugh

Yay we flopped again x IM GETTING TRIGGERED FROM MY LAST SURVIVOR ORG!! Anyways. I am the swing vote without people realising which is hot. I’ve decided Ben needs to leave since he costed us the challenge by not submitting. I have to break it gently to Alex since he’s good mates with Ben. This also means people won’t see me as playing both sides. Woohoo. I’m not going home.

Ben is leaving because he didnt do the challenge and he doesn't talk to anyone and if Raffy wasn't on this tribe I honestly have no idea what I'd do. Pls swap soon thanks

WE WON AGAIN. wow I’m so proud of this tribe. I truly did not expect us to not go to tribal just because it’s a double tribal. Wow I’m just so proud of us. I feel like we are a very cohesive tribe too. We really vibe.

WE WON IMMUNITY *Happy dances* I feel really good about my tribe now! I really like Jessie now which I didn't think would happen but we've clicked finally. We made an agreement not to vote each other out for now. Zach is such a sweetheart and I love him. Paolo is a lil inactive because he's busy but I love his determination to contribute. Dylan is a literal fucking genius They are super intelligent and I'm so impressed. Austin is like a big ? for me if we lose I'll probably vote for him... I'm praying for a swap right now, I would like to meet new people and make more bonds before merge and then I can make some moves!

AHAHAHAHAHA 😂 -screams - so after me complaining a lil last confessional about my tribe being missing in action they came out of no where and we snagged the win. I’m currently vibing with Liam who seems to be as big of a book nerd as me . I love just finding people I get good vibes from . Still searching everyday for advantage items I’ll never stop looking for those because I never know when people will decide I’m no longer an asset. I will keep trying my hardest in each challenge 💕 we got this Tituba tribe . I’m lowkey proud of us all for snatching the win . Also my hair smells like milk I need to shower .

So we have to go to tribal I’m a little nervous bc there is always a chance you can go when you’re at tribal but it gives you the rush you crave. I have my 4 person alliance with Gizmo,Cameron and Keegan leaving Eve and Lukas in minority and I would love to stay loyal to it if they are loyal to it as well. I trust Gizmo he seems like a stand up guy Keegan seems sketchy but I trust him more then Cameron tbh. I know Gizmo has a good relationship with Lukas so I’m hoping he can keep Lukas from saying my name. I was wanting to Target Eve this tribal however I’m sure things are bound to get messy and with me and eves history she might just be petty and try to get the votes on me but I told her that if the vote is based on the challenge it should be Keegan and hopefully Keegan is the Decoy vote and gets 1 or 2 votes but ideally right now the 4 person alliance sticks together and votes Eve and Lukas can vote with us too so we can look unified and everyone can feel unified going into a potential swap. I’m gonna keep my options open come swap time bc the only person I trust 100 percent on this tribe is Gizmo idk if that’s his social game being so good but I don’t think he is playing me. So right now it’s looking like Eve will go but I’m sure if eve even has an inkling that she is getting votes then she will stir up trouble and I’m ready for trouble

Well everything has been super slow since we keep winning lol. I mean k love winning but it sometimes doesnt show where you stand really on your tribe. Jessie I trust 100% and I wanna work with liam and dylan too. I know zach paolo and dylan all know each other tho so I wanna break that up if I can before swap guess we will just have to see what happens after tribal

My alliance is voting out Ben. It is the easiest and least complex vote. I do not believe anyone would want to do anything else. It's really just that simple. I doubt this boy is even going to vote lmao

Tonight is first tribal. I hope everyone *sticks to the plan.* Eve is supposed to go home as far as I know. I had to lie to their face today....I don't like it. But! Its how the game is played. Its not personal, its drag.

[rqs902]

.

ah hyt’s issues with being too passive and not wanting to speak up about problems bc he’s worried about hurting other people’s feelings reminds me of what happened to jin fan on snzm this week :\ except hyt had to figure it out on his own bc no one else noticed and he didnt say anything about it to anyone. jin fan was urged to speak up but hyt had to mull it over in his head and stress over it until he could come to the decision that he needed to do something to help his team.

i respect that he came to that decision on his own and acted on it. as someone who’s relatively passive and conflict-avoidant myself, i think that takes a lot of resolve and courage. 

aw im happy xiao li got to sing too bc i really like his voice. what a talented boy! i think hyt is lucky the two of them give off the kind/gentle vibes so that he can pull them together. i dont know much about him, but i wonder if gem is right that hes had bad experiences with communicating with teammates (and aligning their hearts, as he said) before that’s led him to be more scared to be honest now. the 2 kids are like optimistic but you can tell hyt is so worried with their score ouch. 

wu xing’s voice is nice. im a wind player but with my limited knowledge of string instruments I feel like pengpeng’s playing is okay but not amazing. fsc’s bass is questionably out of tune?? or is it just me? something feels weird about his bass playing, it sounds kinda scratchy and sticks out to me too much, in like a weird way :\ but maybe its just because im used to hearing bass in classical music and not like this

LOL qiang ge being the buffer between jym and zk, are you sure youre gonna be okay child? the more i see qiang ge, the more smol he seems to me, like a cute child, who just happens to play the most blaring instrument LOL he seems very insecure about belonging on this show. he didnt want people to choose him unless they were absolutely sure in the first round, and then in the second round, he was so scared of ruining the next group that chose him and so grateful that they were willing to choose him and that they gave him so much encouragement to join their group. the fact that he needed that much encouragement and still felt undeserving is telling. the matching photo tshirts he custom ordered are cute! what a nice friend, to spend money on this to make everyone a little happier. i think its mature of him to encourage jym by saying he should think of the worst possible happening and try to accept it, to lessen his pressure. its still weird for me to realize people call zzn “nan ge” because he just seems so young in my mind lol but then you realize there are even younger kids on this show.

zhao ke’s rap was pretty good, i respect it. with that score i bet qiang ge’s gonna feel like it’s all his fault. i wonder if he blames himself or the instrument more for the fact that he was criticized for being too unvaried, but i feel like either of those is bad bc i feel like he should be proud of his instrument. 

aw maomao’s message and ljt’s response hahahhaha 

LOL ljt playing “who” and cutting it off abruptly. gao xin tai LOL 

ljt’s group’s perf def felt more complete. his voice is so nice, i still love it. i will say, i remember zhao tianyu sang this song on mrzz. i wonder if ljt remembers that too. 

hmm i really liked kxy’s singing voice, i thought it was really good, nicer than mz’s LOL but honestly i feel like i also understand from the teacher’s point of view, that he wasted their time and just didnt take their advice when they were trying to help him. hmm he seems likes hes very stubborn in doing what he believes, which isnt bad, he’s standing up for what he wants, but also then he immediately started crying when questioned about it. which makes me think hes not very confident in his choice and/or feels victimized/attacked for just doing what he wants. either way, kxy has shown he cries very easily lol. but i have mixed feelings about whether he’s handling criticism well. im not sure how old he is but he seems young 

LOL muji and swh just being like DELETE to wjy and being like straight up “it sounds bad” HAH im glad at least having two of them on the same page can put wjy in his place more LOL 

during the perf was muji holding the pick in his mouth? lol muji is such a 寶藏 with the bass guitar along with all his unique talents. this was a pretty epic perf, i thought theyd get a better score than that.

hm interesting that the uptown funk people told them tencent they needed to pay them more and tencent DIDNT, but they were still nice enough to approve their use of the song anyway bc of their “sincere” messages. wtf tencent. im pretty sure they have money to pay them more lol.

i kinda think yrz still seems a bit stiff to me onstage, like look at xiao zhi, hes literally so comfortable and free and hes so enjoying playing his bass guitar hes like having so much fun and is super into the music. at first i wasnt sure how well him and zy would mesh but wow hes really owned up to the avocado name LOL i feel like him and zy are really really caring older bros to yrz and hopefully yrz is super grateful bc he got super lucky. 

LOL TYLER FREAKING OUT OVER YRZ’S SMILE 

“NA GE XIAO RONG!!!!” 

HAHAHHAHAHAH 

i think it does say a lot that this perf got everyone like on their feet and grooving along, i see why they ranked 1st! 

kinda sad wsh was like yea no ones gonna notice us and then tencent proceeds to give them 5 seconds of practice room footage and the mentors are all shocked by the lowness of their score

hm :\ i kinda wanted to hear more about how they resolved the conflict between rainbow feeling too restricted by da xi’s more methodical approach to music. i think thats an interesting discussion, because i think both sides have their merits, so what kind of blend of a compromise will they come up with? and it does say a lot about their personalities. rainbow also feels similarly hesitant to reveal his feelings because of his friendship with da xi, which reminds me of hyt yet again but then this group got 5 seconds of footage in comparison so we dont really know how any of this got resolved. also how do they deal with mty sleeping and disappearing all the time?? i do think its kind of cute how mty seems to bend down and really direct his speaking towards the audience when talking to them. i really like their performance, this music style and fun-ness!

LOL the way ruiyang and yingge look at tyler is literally with such adoration wtf hahahahahaa and tyler buying them the bunny hats wtf this is so cute. feels very parental LOL theyre so supportive of him and helping him shine and tyler’s just like a child bringing them happiness LOL i think its notable that yingge says he feels like theyre all using their strengths in this perf bc thats #goals 

why do i feel like tyler and ruiyang ave absorbed yingge’s fashion LOL

THIS AESTHETIC 

i think u can tell like they (yingge?) put a lot of effort into communicating with the production team about their stage design. its not just about the music for them. lol this perf is shot like a music videoooo

ok im hesitant to comment on tyler’s trumpet playing bc it’s not very clean sounding to me, but you can tell hes putting a lot of effort into the small details still. and if hes been practicing a ton, i know it can be painful to try to play into that kind of mouthpiece cleanly with tired lips. he has yet to amaze me but it seems like he’s working hard so i respect that. hes also very lucky to be in a group with two supportive geges. like ps said, i think it is notable that ruiyang is doing so well in a genre of music he wasnt previously into. and yingge’s personality must be some kind of strong to really influence the other 2 so much 

aw tyler crying out of happiness and ruiyang just bursting out laughing and pats tyler’s head with a “早講嗎!" bc he was worried about tyler being sad hahahahaha he just sounded so taiwanese there it made me happy. aw tyler must be really well loved by all the geges who crowd him with hugs when they see him crying like xiao zhi ahahah

oof samhar being brought to tears when gem notes how hard he worked on the composition. (oo xiao zhi helped him! - that’s it, im curious how old he is, so i went to his weibo and he’s just a little older than me! born in 95. but then i saw he and zy have made some conflict-confronting posts today and im like .-. what happened? not sure whats up, but it seems like theyre generally okay, fans seem mad tho) 

actually tbh totally makes sense to me why xiao zhi, rainbow, and yingge’s groups are the top 3 in that order, like their stages were really good and memorable. 

ouch qiang ge feeling all the guilt and like he doesn’t have the skills to do better :( why is the show ok with jym acting this way? why is there a lack of communication that leads him to not understand what’s going on with the votes? they chase after him, he’s moping, they just film him and are barely encouraging enough to get him to come back at the very last minute. im sure he’s very frustrated but its also unprofessional and disrespectful of him to leave like that. how does that make his group mates feel that hes just gone? this is all very questionable to me. 

wait i havent been keeping up with their current rankings but wtf the kids who are like super worried are like ranked super high??? like im assuming they’ll be fine?? like jym and hyt’s group members are all relatively high... (I realize now why hyt got so much screentime LOL hes #1....) im surprised tyler is so low and i wonder if he’ll get more popular after this ep lol 

anyyywayyy so it looks like they’re having a party and elims next week so im sure thatll be an emotional roller coaster... and snzm is having elims next week too so thats just great... double the disaster 

#rants

[the-guccidamn]

an open letter to mi luvs

to my dearest harry niall liam louis zayn

happy 10th anniversary!

TEN?!?!?!?!

A DECADE

that is insane

i feel old but im only 22

i really spent my teenage years with you huh

anyway idk where to start

but i have a lot to say for this special day

or rather i have a lot to be thankful for

my memory of how i discovered u is still so vivid, me suffering from the pain of having my wisdom teeth removed which resulted to me searching you on youtube out of the blue. i saw your x factor videos, the funny moments compilations, video diaries, the livestreams, yes and then it went out of hand ever since and i have become a different person.

my junior year is all about 1d 1d and 1d. i was obsessed and was literally going through it. sure it wasnt my first time to be screaming over an artist (hello jobros, jb and many more) but it's definitely my first time being properly exposed to content and the fandom community in which i learned the whole stan culture of dedicating yourself to streaming, voting and counting down for new music. i became so active that everyday u have became a part of my routine. every day i will not be satisfied until i have fulfilled my 1d needs or talked about 1d enough. i listened and memorised all your songs, had everything about you ingrained in my mind. i just couldnt stop being pulled down into that spiral. i even had a fight with my mom because she didnt allow me to join the big 1d race event here in the Philippines. let me tell you how i had to wear sunglasses at church because my eyes are literally puffy and red.

but eventually, i learned to calm down and become as level headed as i can be, or maybe unconsciously academics did all that. but hey that didn't stop my love for you which was still getting stronger as years pass by. i entered college with the possibility of seeing you as my motivation still. and eventually it did happen after my freshman year. it was one of the best day of my life and i couldnt ask for more. although okay tbh i wished i have seen you closer and have seen you as 5. days after the concert, u guys literally broke my heart. zayn left and then u went on a supposedly 18 month hiatus. 18 months my ass lol but i just know it's gonna be a longer one. u were all tired from it i guess and i really understand.

i didnt stop loving you though, quietly i have been cheering you on for your solo releases and all the other things u are busy about. and even though i am currently dedicated to a totally different group right now, you will always have a special place in my heart and you will always have an impact and effect on me (shoutout to harry styles for being the proof of it)

now it's your 10th anniversary, and for this week i have allowed myself to be pulled into the 1d spiral again, allowed myself to be succumbed by my 14 year old fangirl self and boy what a bliss it was.

my timeline is full of 1d again, everything is about u again, and when i saw all your messages, i really felt it was 2013 again.

i miss you so much.

i never really realized how happy you made me until right now. i mean dont get me wrong i know im happy back then, SO SO HAPPY. but i also know that at the back of my mind, it was unhealthy, because at some point i have became too dependent on u.

but u know what, looking back, u really brought me so much happy memories. listening to your discography right now, every memory associated with it are memories that i really wanna be able to experience again.

and it meant so much to me.

i discovered u after such a tough year of my life, literally months after a very heartbreaking loss that i dont think i could completely recover from, and really if i hadnt discover you back then, what couldve happened to me? you literally saved my life and i am so so grateful.

you also taught me a lot of things, perspectives of life that are very much important, and became a way for me to experience new things that made me who i am today.

just…. thank you because you did indeed bring me joy and i felt really loved (i still dont know what i meant by this but it felt so right)

i am proud of all of you and wish u nothing but the best and for you to experience genuine happiness.

a comeback or a reunion would be asking for too much i know, but i really hope u 5 will stay as friends.

i may just be one of your millions of fans but i do know real friendship when i see one. so for the love of all things good, please talk and get that closure you all deserve. you may have known each other for 10 years only but u spent 5 years of it with each other 24 freaking 7, if u havent become family, then why not. lol.

i shall stop my 1d celebration after this letter.

no i am not saying goodbye to me being your fan. I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAN AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BOYS.

just i still feel emotional when i go full 1d and listening to ur music really makes me go through it so i dont do it often as before.

but let us meet each other again soon pls

i promise to be closer

i love you all so much

happy 10th anniversary to the band who has became my safety net, my branding during my teenage years, and that band who will always be in my heart.

all the love,

vanessa - styles (yes bitch ure still mine)

#happy 10th anniversary mi luvs #18 months my ass #indeed #you guys will always be special to me #had me going through IT #i miss you so bad it hurts #personal

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 9 | “Autumn's World”- Jakey

ok i really wasnt going to make a post tribal confessional because my last one was so long but like i have to get this off my chest... can i just say the irony is NOT lost on me that im the one who got the power to visit the pre jurors and plead my case on who i think they should vote for and......they voted for ME???? at least that's what my common sense is telling me because almost no one said anything to me during my trip there so... i doubt they voted amir because im pretty sure liam did? like..... this game is REALLY starting to make me extremely self conscious like wtf i literally havent even met half of these people and the majority of them voted for me without even knowing me.... has my whole life been a lie? am i not actually the bomb dot com?? like i dont think im this amazing person or anything and obviously i know not everyone is gonna like me but WHAT is it about me that's clearly so polarizing with people and NOT in a good way... first people in the game i didnt know wanted to vote me out now people i dont know want me out too do i have a sticker on my forehead that says hate on me? like trust and believe i hate myself enough i dont need yalls negativity too ! maybe im just too ahead of the times for certain people.. at this point i dont care, im a tough cookie and i guess im a little mean and judgemental so this is just my karma but whatever, pity party over, i guess you know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation zzzzzz

okay so i filmed two video confessionals while walking the dog but i think i just flipped the captain vote?! i truly do think i just flipped the captain vote while walking the dog which is so exciting. i knew voting jordan was stupid to scorn him for no reason, so i decided tj would be better, spoke to who i needed to speak to, and now its happening hehe [the two videos i filmed should explain why i did what i did]. this is the first time this game i felt like montenegro ali is not gone completely - i set a goal for myself and i made it happen. now no matter what this season i can be proud that i made something happen hehe. tj's target is gonna inflate like a balloon now hehe. the way i did it was i spoke to autumn first, who i knew also had the connections with the beauties who would need to be flipped, then talked about my reservations with jake/devon/augusto. i knew autumn would push tj, and i just got to sit back and here them all say tj to me?! i feel so proud that i made that happen tm, now we have a scapegoat set up. i think update so: Ideal Bootlist: Kendall > TJ > Jordan/Augusto > Jordan/Augusto > Duncan > Amir > F5: Me/Autumn/Jake/Devon/Adam Ranking as a Juror: autumn > jake > amir > duncan > jordan > augusto > devon > adam > tj > kendall

okay so... i think as a consequence of the trust rankings, i think i'm now set up very well to be shielded by both my closest allies, jake for his idol play and autumn for the perception of her as someone who runs the tribe. ideally next two votes are maybe kendall then tj? idek

im gonna say something, that i NEVER say and im gonna OWN IT. . . .. .... IM A DUMB BITCH. ok i say that a lot but THISSS time i really mean it, ive been playing this game so short sighted and completely narrowly, focused on getting these old beautys out for almost voting me out in the beginning, and today i find out, that little old ME is the one who's actually been the president of the clown academy smh obviously, i do still think i was semi valid in not trusting any of those 3 at first, but today, amir approached me finally to clear the air, because like i said before, the reason ive had no interest in working with like him or augusto was because i knew what they were plotting against me, HOWEVER .... i guess i lacked some common sense that shouldve told me well look at it from their perspective, it's just very hard for me to trust when i was lied to so, i know for a fact someone went to amir and probably told him i wanted him out last round instead of liam, and i also learn that the REAL CLOWN OF ALL THE LANDS IS DUNCAN. I had a call with jordan today, and he basically spilled the beans that duncan wants my head on a silver platter?? first of all, duncan, you're a fool. I was completely on your side and actually trusted you, so thanks for nothing! I would not be surprised if he was trying to go to amir to plan to vote me out I also talked to autumn on call today and she confirmed that to me as well, and it made me feel a lot better because i think duncan thinks that IM overconfident in the game which is NOT THE CASE...have yall seen my confessionals??? is it or is it not tea that all i do is sit and guess multiple scenarios for my paranoia...granted i KNOW im a diva and i have fits and my moments, but i genuinely try not to get comfortable, so the fact that HE thinks he can get comfty and get me out, boy you got another thing coming because i may not know what the HELL im doing 85% of the time but i think that's one of my best traits, im a wildcard and elusive and adaptability is what i try to go for more so than being that person in charge, because clearly anytime i think im in charge, thats NEVER the case... and congratulations because now there's an angry adam on the loose and duncan is now my biggest target out of no where. Funny how so much can change in less than a day huh? at this point i literally trust no one i feel like im at the liar convention of the century, i want to say i trust autumn, jordan, and kinda ali the most but idk anymore. I feel like Jakey is 100% in with duncan to get me out too but idk i dont have any proof, just a conspiracy because they both messaged me at the exact same time after ignoring me for hours so it made me think they had a call together of some sort and talked about me I'm kinda upset with myself because every time i play i do this stupid thing where i refuse to look at the bigger picture, and im glad there's still enough game left i can kinda start to snap out of it and see where it takes me from here, even though ive played twice and done decent placement wise both times i feel like i have a lot to prove as far as people just thinking im an idiot and will never catch on to things, and i definitely think duncan thinks im an idiot now but you know what, ill let him think that because the fact that people are letting me in on things, shows me i must be doing at least something right ....although it could get tricky, because i really do love autumn and me and her both agreed jordan is a huge threat down the road, but jordan is also on my side right now so i need to treat carefully with that i also need to get to WORK on connecting and mending my relationships with amir/augusto, at this point all i can do is try and be honest with them about whats been going on and hopefully they dont rule me out, BUT ... in my slight defense i never wouldve been so against them if they just owned up to it and not lied to me over and over again in the beginning xoxo but i do hereby take away all the SHIT ive talked since like..... day 7 dajfks ok last thing i want to touch on is im STILL confused why no one trusts me in this immunity challenge i got second to last after KENDALL..... like all shade at myself yall are giving me WAY too much credit... they all still think im stacked with idols and advtantages and even though i MAY have cracked the pyramid im not good at solving shit so FUCK 2048 FOR GETTING MY WAY OF GETTING THIS IDOL 

just called with amir for ages and he was 100% misting me but i'm at peace with it he is super sweet.

Adam, welcome to your tape. im not even sure where to begin .... ive never YELLED at a gay in my life like this... that gay being ME.... so here i am, having a breakdown going boo hoo hoo for me thinking people must just HATE me for whatever unknown reason, only for me to find out I UNKNOWINGLY GAVE EVERYONE A REASON DHAJKFDHAJKD rewind back to survivor auction....obviously i knew with an anonymous auction people were ALL gonna start lying about what they really got and what not ... however, im sure none of them were STUPID ENOUGH TO TELL A BLATANTLY OBVIOUSLY FALSE FABRICATION LIKE ME I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ... SO I JUST WANTED PEOPLE TO THINK I WAS AT LEAST TRYING FOR IMMUNITY SO I TOLD EVERYONE I BID ON THE IMMUNITY NECKLACES THEN WHEN I DIDNT GET THEM I WENT FOR THE ADVANTAGE, MEANWHILE NOT USING COMMON SENSE AND REALIZING IF I BID ON THE NECKLACES....I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO BID ON THE CHALLENGE ADVANTAGE i literally pulled a cirie trying to play officer sarah's own steal a vote against her but no not really because cirie is a LEGEND and im just a DUMB DUMB. AT LEAST CIRIE CAN SAY SHE WAS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EXHAUSTED WHICH IS WHY SHE MESSED UP BUT WHAT CAN I SAY?? ive never made such an idiotic mistake so obvious before.... i was probably high so ill blame the weed for some of it but mostly just me being dumb. ive been sitting around DRAGGING people for lying to me and now here i am lying right to everyone BUT IN MY DEFENSE.....it really is such a MINUSCULE lie but considering i devoted my entire first part of my game to being against people for telling me the tiniest of lies, i must look like SUCH a hyprocrite but one thing about me is at least ill own it, however, im now one of the biggest and easiest targets in the game because of what ive done so it's time to come up with something real quick (but not another lie NO MORE....) i completely deserved #9 in that challenge but dhfakj its time to completely change my game because now no one is gonna want to work with me and it's my own fault, im a dead fish being asked to come back to life, im gonna have to find a way to play this off or even just come clean and hope it doesnt completely screw me.... but wait..... i just got 9th on all these people's lists and completely lied to everyone and.....somehow they decided to let me have immunity??? what the HELL is going on? i mean logically speaking if im the biggest target here now why not keep me around because im so stupid, at first i was just trying to ACT dumb but that i actually am just dumb, it makes it a lot easier that's for sure! so yeah .... gonna lay low for a bit and not dig myself in more holes

tj and jordan really. really. think they can vote autumn out to scoop me up? like do i look like a sheep, do i look like a clown? because i do not have wool nor do i have a clown wig on. im so done with jordan he can pretend and preach till the cows come home that we are working together and that threats need to stick together.... but actions 100% speak louder than words, and his actions are nothing but shady so

yall: confess! me, who's already made 10 confessionals per round and the 1 person yall weren't talking to: ok sure ! anyway im still an idiot just a tiny update, ive decided to come clean about that damn auction even though everyone already knew oop, lying clearly wasnt working for me even tho i got immunity so maybe it did work in some sick and twisted way??? I really just tried to play it up by telling everyone that i only did it because i have trust issues and didnt know who i could really trust until after the vote, which is kinda true, but obviously my lie was just stupid nonetheless like GOD i literally couldve been in a better spot by being honest all along, but its like.....i willingly stopped in the middle of the race to put a hurdle in front of myself.... but anywho, as long as i have immunity this round, it gives me time to do damage control and see if i can salvage any of my game dafshkj I also talked with amir and augusto finally both on calls separately, to bury the unnecessary hatchet ive been holding onto, amir really did make me feel better about everything between us because he actually apologized because he was able to admit that everything that happened....was literally their own fault ctfu, like had they just been honest with me, we wouldve moved on, but i NO longer hold any ill will towards them about it from a game point, i liked being able to talk with augusto again too because i really did genuinely feel like he was someone i really wanted to play with, and i just dont want to be against the only other 3 brown gays in the game like me and autumn had such a long and great talk about the RACIAL bias in survivor YEAH i said it. I think we should have that conversation. As far as the vote goes it's actually kinda crazy to me....autumn was just talking to me earlier about wanting jordan out because he is definitely a threat, and she's somehow single handedly gotten everyone on board to do it which is scary but im just like....in awe of watching her play like i truly believe talking with her is the reason i won immunity, and i truly think if i didnt have this immunity i would be the one leaving because of my damn big mouth and my own antics. but jordan's kinda been on my side giving me select tea, however i know for a fact he's been holding out on me, but voting him out is still absolutely gonna suck for me tbh, im gonna feel like a bad person, but if there's anything ive learned the last 24 hours of this game is that whatever, this is truly just a game and i need to stop being so overtly sensitive to everything and play smart from here on out. I cant beat jordan in the end. He also just has more loyalties to other people than me so, the plan right now might be to vote him out and he might think it's autumn so he doesnt do anything crazy? i mean part of me WANTS to let him in on the tea just so he can cause chaos but it would get back to me....and im not sure him staying would benefit me enough to piss everyone off, so for ONCE watch while i sit back and shut up

I should have done this yesterday, but I guess I'll spill now. So yesterday was easily the worst day of this game so far for me. I was taking the LSAT, which I thought would give me some amount of a break from being talked about, but it turns out that everyone is going to vote me to be Captain. That part doesn't bother me AS much. What bothers me more is that Duncan and Autumn, who pent so much time genuinely connecting with, apparently turned on us to work with the Beauties over the alliance me and Jordan had with them. I understand that Autumn and Ali are close, yes, but I really thought the connection I had made with those two would allow them to at least stand up for me when people threw my name out there for Captain and have Adam voted as Captain WHEN HE WANTED TO BE IT! And then I choose to save the Bottoms. I wanted to do this not out of revenge, but in order to have a potential in with the Beauty trio of Augusto/Amir/Kendall (on top of if I save the Tops, there is no way I win immunity). So I go with my gut, and then Jakey tells me there was a chat made with the Tops about how to get Adam/Amir/Augusto or some duo of those three safe in spite of my choice. So Autumn of all people, who we went to the same fucking university, decides to vote me out of spite. That just sucks so much to know because I genuinely thought I was going to work with her and Duncan. I truly thought there was something there. And now I feel I have to start back from square one. The day has come where I think I want to work with the Beauty trio; three people I've never been on the same tribe as, but at least they understand the situation I'm in since they have a similar one. Now we can hopefully prevent this stupid Brawn vs. Beauty grudge match that the Brains had created. No more. The Ginger is done being Mr. Nice Guy. I won't sit around any more and let people take advantage of my kindness. I want to win this fucking game, and I intend to do exactly that.

This is likely the most 'dangerous' round I have been apart of. Jordan/Duncan/Autumn/TJ have been involved in an alliance for quite some time. At 8:58pm EST (2 mins before the deadline), I jumped on and asked who I should eliminate. Instead of anyone telling me publicly who to eliminate, it was Duncan of all people who privately messaged me and said to eliminate his buddy Jordan. Since then, I have had the opportunity to talk to a lot of people. I exposed the alliance to those I knew could play a role in breaking it up. For now, the plan seems to be Jordan. However, almost everyone knows about it, and idols/advantages could come into play at any point. Duncan should be safe for now, but his time is coming. I just need to be able to time everything. 

Kendall, if you see this I just want you to know that I love you so so so so so much! I know these people for whatever reason don’t give you the time of day but it’s because of that that they don’t see just how amazing you are! Your crown is slipping ma’am, but don’t let it because you’re a queen and I love you tons <3

If I had to sum up this round, I would say that overconfidence is a weakness in this game. Just look at the MESS that has transpired this round. 1) Autumn pushed for Jordan a LOT as she was in a power position 2) It ended up falling on TJ due to Duncan initially voting that way and Autumn telling others to do that 3) TJ decided to save the bottoms instead of his alliance members for some reason 4) Duncan thought he could do the most and veto my immunity to “save” Jordan only to get Devon to do it instead so his hands are clean 5) Autumn and Duncan tried to control the entire round 6) Jordan thought he could pull a fast one on Autumn by approaching people to blindside her despite not building connections with a lot of players… BASICALLY, people need to humble themselves a bit. I understand that in these games, everyone thinks they are the smartest person here but like… these people tried to have their cake, ate it too, and then threw it up and caused a mess. It’s just… wow (‘:

While I would love to blindside Autumn soon, I’ve wanted Jordan Pines out since I got to the merge because he is a dangerous player. Going into the round, I didn’t see it as a possibility given that I alongside Autumn and Amir were the only people to feel like Jordan should leave. But now? He’s Public Enemy #1 and I’m all for it. Getting Jordan out helps me a lot because now I can possibly have TJ on my side, Autumn trusts me now more than ever, Jakey and I are getting closer, Duncan did all this craziness only to have the person he tried to save leave so he’s a target, and yeah… it just is in my best interest to do so so that’s what I plan on doing.

Ngl, I played victim this round because everything that has happened to me has been because of me being scapegoated in one way or another. Granted, I did tell Kendall and Amir to place me low on their lists but I’m sure I was #8 because of the Beauty trio. In a way, I’m using that to my advantage. Even Duncan deciding to veto my immunity and not Jordan’s has been something I’ve capitalized on a lot this round and I think that decision by Duncan is what turned the tides against him ultimately. Strangely, this round has been super amazing for me? yay?

The amount of TEA I have been given this round is insane. I know Amir has an idol, Devon has a double vote, Adam has a challenge advantage & he got to talk to the prejury, the existence of the TJ/Jordan/Duncan/Autumn alliance, I was the first Beauty Jordan approached to get Autumn out, Autumn told me that if she leaves she wants Amir or I to win, I was pulled into an alliance with Autumn/Devon/Amir/myself, Adam and I agreed Amir is dangerous so Adam wants me here more than Amir, and Jakey told me about the Tops group chat when it was made and told me everything that happened there (same with Autumn). I’ve been a tea collector this round and I’m not mad at all. While I love Amir, I do fear that our games are a little too intertwined and that if I sit next to him at the end, I’ll lose badly… but I think people also seem him as a major target so in a way he’s a shield? I need to find a way to separate myself gameplay-wise. I do think I’ve done a lot for our partnership (it was my connection to Devon and my connection to Autumn that got us in these good positions) so yeah we’ll see… I just want to win yknow ;-; love Amir sooooooo much tho

im gonna write a longer one in a bit but the summary rn is jordan pines can legit go peace out and send his white male rage somewhere else im not about to listen to him get mad at me when he wanted to blindside me this round like... get that energy somewhere else im not the one

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY WERE GONNA MAKE ADAM CAPTAIN AND WE PUSHED FOR IT TO A BRAWN AND NOW BRAWN IS MAD AT BRAIN IM GOING TO TRY AND FINESSE IMMUNITY OUT OF THIS

okay okay so basically, ewkjfnekwfnew i spent all morning not wanting them to vote adam as a captain, and then for my list, i basically got multiple people to rig my position, aka devon jakey and augusto to put me mid low, and tried to make ppl put brain + ali at the top. now the lists are exposed, adam wants to work with me again, and ppl are scared of brawn + ali. I am trying to make that i can win immunity this round, and then i can shut my mouth and these people can fuck each other up so PLEASAAAAAAASEEEE LET ME WIN IMMUNITY

So here we go let me spill some tea about these people, so last round, I had devon come to me and tell me that Adam said my name, Liam was the vote for me, and many people were entertaining it and were purposely leaving me on read. Like for the entire first round, Adam liam tj jordan and Ali all didn’t make a single effort to talk any game with me. This round comes around, and it’s a damn trust list when I’m currently in the most notorious beauty threesome of all time, and Ik it’s not gonna go well cuz everyone wants us out cuz me kendall and Augusto are so prettty and they r jealous But early on in the morning, autumn wants to call, and we do, and she’s like let’s make Jordan the captain vote, which makes sense cuz that’s what jakey and Augusto told me the night prior, so like all good I agree to make the captain Jordan. Basically, being the captain in this, SUCKS, cuz u won’t win immunity and u piss off 4 people, so miss autumn, hangs up on me to call other people and suddenly tj, who mind you is doing his LSAT exam, comes back to autumn and Duncan making him the vote for the captain. They fucked him OVER LMAO, and then the trust list comes out, and allllll the beauties and jordan on the bottom, and alllll the brains at the top with Ali and jakey . So suddenly, tj has a change of heart and he messaged me about how wants to get to know the beauties better, and he cuts the tops and the bottoms live. But like, Duncan autumn tj and Jordan literallt had an alliance and the they fucked him over so like Dkndkdndkd Anyway, the immunity challenge is happening, jakey and Devon help me win immunity discretely, And now I’m IMMUNEEEEE I suddenly love this crackhead competition , and with the list order, everyone can tell the brains are playing ALL SIDES. So adam and I finally decide to talk cuz we’re both at the bottom, and I’m like okay sis are we good, and he’s like I heard some shit and I was just really honest about early hathor and I think him and I are okay rn?? So like that’s good for me, So me and adam are safe, and all hell breaks loose, cuz Jordan apparently was super convinced with his safety but autumn and Duncan cut them out of the competition. Duncan was so shady about it, he actually asked devon to do it, and he decided to do Augusto, so like Duncan’s way of being loyal to Jordan is to tell someone else to do it so he’s being extremely messy. He’s not telling me about his alliance STILL, playing dumb with me, So autumn calls me and she IS POPPINGGGGG OFFFFFFF and dragging the 2 white boys from brawn to FILTH, and organizes this entire plan for them to think it’s between tj and Duncan, but we tell them autumn, and then we all vote Jordan. Jakey tried to make it duncan but I refuse, because Duncan is necessary to be against Ali and Duncan’s whole ass game is blown up now. No one trusts him, so I want him here. and jakey was like fine hehe and honestly okay I love jakey so much, like I plan on being loyal for as long as he’s loyal to me but I feel like he’d cut me in a couple rounds. Rn we are tight tho and we tell each other everything. Augusto and Kendall AND I MIGHT MAKE IT ANOTHER ROUND LMFAOOO DKDJDKNDD, And the MESSIEST PART OF TODAY IS HOW AUTUMN GOT US FROM POINT A TO POINT B. Like she literally woke up, fucked over tj, then cut the brawn out of the comp, and then felt betrayed by them, for her fucking them over, and has now taken control of the game. Like I’m just gonna say, she betrayed her alliance with brawn and she’s starting to work with me and Augusto and for that I fuckin love her. She’s also super cool I’ll do a merge cast analysis next round Anyway yeah good night love y’all xoxoxox

okay so today jordan calls me and hes like heyyyyyy sisterrrr lets all vote autumn and i say ok ok lets do it, but in my head im like nonononoonon, cuz jordan has spent 5 days talking about getting my out, and he literally doesnt even have the votes so i cant consider this cuz jakey isnt down at all, he simply doesnt have the numbers, so the plan is me tj jakey augusto kendall jordan vote autumn but we all rat on jordan, so everyone is suppose to split on jordan and tj but someone ratted to them and now no one is paying attention to me as much LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO ps, jordan pines, i really really do like u and enjoy talking to u and i would love to get to know u after the game <3 , im still gonna slit your throat tho, sorry for that

okay so tonight jordan pines is going to jury. drew in my host chat said "i hate when my faves fight" and let it be known. im not going to fight jordan, im going to send him to jury so he can complain there. his rage and aggression im not in the mood to deal with. its crazy how jordan brought the tribe together and his reign of terror tribe calls are not working. you cant come at people with rage, when your whole strategy has revolved around treating people like your pawns. like you treated this like chess but the one in checkmate is you. cut to me being voted out but im sick of jordan and his attitude, this is a game in a serious time in the world. its coronavirus quarantine and portraying everyone as literal satan is fucked up and i have zero time for it so. he can take his bad energy to being the world's most bitter juror. i really liked jordan, but this was a really toxic ugly side that came out tonight and i hate it

this lil challenge yall came up with it? I'm not with it https://drive.google.com/open?id=1K3cO8KqOtvKoz6bPPlZ1IoTgrBWY5-7-

if yall dont come get Jordan Pines so I don't beat his ass because I wish he would pipe up to me. He got all the kids scared but not me. Bitch this vote is solid and you wouldn't be doing the most if you could save yourself so bloop. Ali ain't flipping, Devon ain't flipping, Jakey ain't flipping, and the POC's ain't flipping so you can have TJ and the little vote steal cause that's all you got. Wait til Duncan walks in and find out Jordan is trying to put the vote on him he'll really vote his ass out Fuck an idol- if it gets played it gets played but it's not like he's getting to the end so if I walk into jury, so be it. Maybe I'll actually get to finish Cagayan since every time I get hooked in an episode, some fuckery goes down in Akhmim. ALSO WHO THE FUCK SNITCHED???? WE HAD TWO AND A HALF HOURS TO GO YOU SNAKE. I bet it was Duncan or Kendall cause they're the only ones messy enough to still be up Jordan's ass after aaaaaallll of this. Devon really thought about flipping because Jordan promised him he'd reveal the rat if Devon voted with him. Girl really?? https://giphy.com/gifs/oxygenmedia-bad-girls-club-bgc-bgc10-10hUQ2QszsZ75S I'm so sick of these white boys I don't know what to do. Get back in line!!! You don't want the smoke and you know it!!! That's why Jordan's dumbass is trying to switch targets cause it's rock. solid. over here. And it's gonna stay that way too! We can kill Duncan on Thursday but tonight?? We ARE doing Jordan Pines, no I'm not taking any questions at this time. Fuck you mean "I'm tempted?" Bitch I'll end you right here right now. Tribal is minutes away so for fuck's sake stick to the damn plan. And when he goes, we got some things to discuss

today was such a hot mess, first someone leaks the plan to vote jordan out, to jordan, first of all how DARE them because THEY BEAT ME TO IT......ok i dont know if i actually wouldve but i was considering spilling the beans which is why im surprised someone else did, as soon as this happens gorl MY messages were blowing up me and autumn messaged each other at the same time like BITCH DO YOU SEE THIS HASFDKJ but anywho it was actually sad, jordan gave me good tea in the game, so i did try and create a new plan to vote duncan out, because at first jordan wanted to do autumn but i said i didnt want to do that now, maybe eventually, but not now. She helped me win the immunity so i think she genuinely wants to work with me at least for now, but im no dummy i know she's a huge threat, and im well aware that's a move that ill eventually most likely need to make even though she is easily my favorite person to talk to next to augusto/devon/amir/jakey just on like personal levels, but.... ask jakey, im loyal as long as youre not a threat to me, but the minute you become a threat, their aint no team in i ... or whatever the saying is, but yeah i said no to autumn NOW, and i said if you want me to vote with you, help me get the votes to get DUNCAN since i know he's playing everyone and targetting me directly... it almost worked, but jordan making some of the other people feel some type of way hurt him and my chances of pulling this off because in the end i couldnt risk making that move without some of those people on board because i wouldnt want to sever my loyalties to them let alone blindside them (just yet at least), and that would have also forced me on a side with tj and kendall whom i just havent completely clicked with in the game nothing against them tho, but we'll see if im next out then i deserve it for not making a move i just hope i have time to make my move still i think im doing maybe decent at trying to recover from the stupidest move of the game thus far being my POORLY thought out lie, me always quoting sandra "ill lie, but ill make up a GOOD lie.." in my head 24/7 really did not come through on that one... but anywho, devon has told me some piping hot tea, that he has the extra vote, ali has since he told me he has the nullifier, even kendall has made amends with me and ive never had a true problem with anyone personally but kendall was against me strategically and i think on call we at least cleaned the slate for now? ill probably still vote her out next round but at least i wont feel as bad but duncan....oh duncan, sweet duncan, while i adore you as a person, i dont adore you lying right to my face when i straight up asked if you wanted me out originally, when both jordan AND autumn have told me what you been up to sis.... ask my fellow beautys i can hold a grudge so dont poke the bear! and not only that but i will start plotting getting you out and that's 100% the move i want to make next if i have any say in it. Because i think everyone sees now that he's trying to play everyone and recover from his own foolish move of getting exposed from his alliance... so now that i cant believe a word you say, you can no longer believe a word i say! We can keep chatting it up and acting like bestie boos and i do genuinely like him, but from a game point his usefulness has run up. but who knows, im just the local town fool to these people, which is fine because at least i can acknowledge i am but ill probably just be voted out next fajdsk especially if my theory about duncan/jakey being in kahoots is true but guess we'll see

Okayyyyy soooo I have been socializing! It's pretty hit or miss! Ali and I talked briefly in the morning he showed me his doggo, she was absolutely precious. 10 out of 10 lost beauty tribe member will sacrifice my game for her. I talked it out with Jakey, while I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, I feel better about our relationship. Like I said I have better things to do then hate someone because of a game and I feel better knowing that he doesn't hate me on a personal level and vice versa. My call with Duncan was very informative. Turns out Scott and Duncan were the duo rather than Autumn and Duncan and the entire Devon situation wasn't as convolutedly stupid as I had initially thought. Devon I'm so sorry I called you stupid many times in these confessionals I meant it affectionally but I guess you really aren't lol. I am so sorry you are not stupid maybe game botty but you aren't dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He also agreed to work with us, I don't know if that means he's going to vote out a Brawn this round but he will probably keep me around if only for a spare vote. I tried messaging Liam to see if we can call... he hasn't message me back. It's been day... goddamnit Liam... Adam has been talking smack about me, Augusto, and Amir. Which fair enough I guess, we did try to kill him early in the game. But between us and the NuHathor, you'd think we'd be the better option to work with? Idk, Duncan said he'd talk to him but I don't hold out too much hope. I like talking to TJ quite a bit, he reminds me of Jimmy from Malaysia. He's pretty quick witted and a fun conversationalist. God I miss Jimmy :(. If worst comes to worse I really hope my fantastic personality will help me get out of this shit hole. 

#BackWithVengeance