#im literally begging i dont know what to do

[pinkandlilacroses]

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Angel - Paige bueckers

part 2

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {smut}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bellas’s pov

paige

- you wanna come over

what. the. fuck. yes, yes i do. but i don’t want to be ‘just another girl’ to her

fuck

bella

- why

- don’t you have other girls to fuck

i know that sounds rude, but its true. i’m not gonna get used by that tall, blonde, gorgeou-

wait, what am i saying.

paige

- i want u tho

fuck. should i go?

no i shouldn’t, yes i should, no, yes, no, yes

bella

- i’m straight

i mean, its the truth. i guess

paige

- you sure angel

no i’m not sure, also call me angel again. fuck

bella

- i’m sure

i’m not

paige

- then why don’t i believe you

cause its not true

bella

- you should

- cause its true

paige

- i don’t wanna believe it

fuck.

bella

- goodnight

“fuck” i scream into my pillow, thank god Avery is at Jakes tonight.

should i go

no

yes

ugh.

i cant stop thinking about her, for the past hour my favourite activity hasn’t been executed because of this tall, blonde, gorgeous girl.

fuck. im gonna regret this

bella

- whats your dorm number

paige

- 354

bella

- coming

i quickly put on some mascara and change into sweats and a hoodie. this is fucked

i start walking (running) to paige’s

i’m gonna regret this

“i knew you would change your mind” paige says, while opening her door. fuck she looks good, she has changed into a white t-shirt and boxer shorts. fuck

“shut up” i say, smashing my lips to hers, wrapping my arms around her neck and she grips my waist.

after a couple minutes, her tongue begins to explore my mouth and i let out a soft moan and she lets out a soft chuckle in response.

without breaking the kiss, she begins leading us to her room

i’m gonna regret this. i’ve never done anything with a girl before, i want to, but its my first time. i guess i’m nervous

paige throws me on her bed and kneels on-top of me, taking me in.

“you still straight” she says smugly. fuck i hate her

“i dont know” i say breathlessly, fuck i hate how vulnerable i’m being right now

she laughs, literally laughs in response.

“i think your straight” she says, at the same time taking off my hoodie.

fuck i didn’t wear a bra

“no bra princess” she says, smirking at me

fuck.

“its for you” i say, shocked at my own confidence, why am i so confident, i wasn’t 5 seconds ago

“good girl” she says, latching onto my left side and massaging my right nipple.

fuck. call me good girl again

i let out soft, breathy moans and she hums in response.

dont get me wrong, i love what shes doing. but i want her downstairs, you get me.

“paige” i say, almost out of breath

“yes baby” she says, still attached to my skin

“can you touch me” i say, almost begging

she moves from her old position and she is now extremely close to my face “where do you want me to touch you princess”

folded

i take her hand and move it to my core

she raises her eyebrows and begins to take off my sweats, painfully slow.

i let out an agitated grunt, and she doesn’t speed up. is she truing to kill me

after 3 hours, my sweats are off and she spots the wet patch on my panties. fuck. thats embarrassing

i cover my face in sheer embarrassment and she tears them away.

she starts to touch the wet patched formed and lets out an accomplished sigh.

“paige please, stop teasing”

she begins to take my panties off, with her teeth. fuck i’m dead.

my pussys glistening from my wetness and i want to die. why is she doing this to me

“so wet angel” she says, admiring me

i let out a moan, extremely annoyed by how long this is taking

she gats the hint and begins lowering her tongue to me.

“oh my god” i moan, shamelessly arching my back

flattening her tongue and licking up and down my folds, she hums against my core. i cant stop moaning

she moves to my entrance and begins teasing, and a string of pornographic moans come from my mouth.

she begins to pump her tongue in and out of my entrance, while looking up at me. fuck

“fuck paige, my clit please” i say, begging

“desperate slut, aren’t you?” she says, cocking her head up at me and i cant help but moan at that comment.

she attacks my clit and moves two of her fingers up to my mouth. fuck

“fuck paige, fuck fuck fuck fuck” i moan

“suck” she demands

i try my best to suck her long, skinny fingers but its probably a shitty attempt.

she moves her fingers from my mouth and moves them to my entrance. shit

“paige fuck” i scream as she enters me, mouth still on my clit. my hands are in her hair, pushing her down

she curls her fingers, hitting my g spot exactly and i cant stop moaning, borderline screaming.

“fuck paige, im close” i say, barley getting the words out

“cum for me angel” and those words send me over the edge. i feel myself tense around her fingers, and my back arching more that i thought i ever could, paige helps me ride out my climax

“fuck” she says, laying down next to me, im completely out of breath

“ok, you can go now” she says, facing me

i shouldn’t have done this.

#paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers #uconn #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball

[bittersweet-mermaid]

/!\ URGENT help me eat and keep the lights on and afford my meds cause i cant function without them pretty please?

Link

#im literally begging i dont know what to do #help #mutual aid #financial aid #urgent

[suntails]

lead us not

#this comp is directly based on 'lead us not into temptation' by mucha. go look it up the piece looks so GOOD #just #head in hands. this is prob my last piece before the next lore drop so do w that what u will #just give iiiiin silver just follow malleus and trust in the dream worlds hes making!!! duh!!!1!1!!!1 DUH. (lying) (lying) (lying) #he knows BEST let him lead u towards a happy end for the next 1000 years of happy dream worlds. sobibng. #yea so the composition fucked so hard i literally HAD to draw something. im genuinely begging just go look it up. u gotta see my vision #twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #book 7 spoilers #malleus draconia #twst silver #silver vanrouge #peep the other chars distorted af in the bg u cant see them well but i swear they were distinct originally #suntails #tumblr gets it first again. congrats u guys r my favs dont tell twitter

[roman-roy-apologist]

i love you animal symbolism

#like obviously i’m the dog motif guy but literally any animal symbolism is sooooo #like mq animal symbolism >>> #sharks and mice and wolves and butterflies #what that says about you — not just what you get but what you wanted to get #i’m a shark and i’m going to take you down. he smells blood in the water he’s gonna kill my pig and there’s nothing i can do #because i’m soft i’m a kid again im a mouse and im loyal and humble and a real team player! and that’s what will be my downfall #but it’s also what’s going to save me #why would a mouse choose foam over a delicious cookie? i don’t know. why would he? why would i? #i just got a little upset when you said i wasn’t a lion. you’re nothing without me #lions hunt in packs they’re sthe leaders. but i’m telling you that you dont get a pack you dont get someone to lean on and you will always #be alone. #then succession animal symbolism is like: youre a scorpion and i’m a snake and we are going to die at each others hands #it’s already written. we know the ending #im a dog and i’m mean and sharp and vicious #i’m a dog and i’m loyal and trusting #i’m a dog and i need to be kicked and i beg you to kick me because it’s all i know #you come for me with love? #lock me in a cage and feed me dog food (or chocolate cake but who knows) and i’ll never eat again #send me away until everyone knows their place #beat me with a slipper in gstaad for ordering lobster because it’s rude to order the most expensive thing on the menu when you’re not payin #because dogs don’t get a sliver platter they get a bowl of dog food in a cold wire cage #they get the scraps and they thank you for it #so you come for me with love? #you come in here guns ablazing to find they’ve turned to fucking sausages and you come for me with love? #jeez that’s a lot of tags #mythic quest #mq #succession #succession hbo

[hella1975]

not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever

#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob #bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer #BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY #and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME #'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB #WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay #but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment #just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off #ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off #you people make me mad sometimes istg #'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know #edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse #like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC #and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process #in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺' #actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo

[oceanwithouthermoon]

seeing my mutuals make fun of me with other people (especially where i can SEE IT) makes me feel sooo awkward like i thought we were buddies hi what is the problem...

#i have considered just deleting my tumblr so many times because people are so mean to me for no fucking reason hello #like can we not disagree on certain things without me getting called a freak or people asking whats 'wrong' with me #im literally BEGGING. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. #if u wanna have an actual conversation then lets do that but this weird high school bully shit is so fucking mean #my MUTUALS. PEOPLE IVE SPOKEN TO. #idk i sorta thought of this account as like an escape from irl shit but i just come on here and get people treating me in similar ways #there r people who i see their accounts and go 'cool i know this person!' +only have positive opinions of them even if we disagree sometime #but they just dont have the same attitude about me and it makes me feel so. isolated ? #this is sooo dramatic LOLLLL IM NOT THAT UPSET its just weird

[aq2003]

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

#dr who #i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life #they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different #like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him #even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT. #but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously #and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show #but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying #the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like #having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy #but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat #i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room #series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short. #i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all #she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving #and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think #it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent #martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME. #anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak #series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2. #even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao #ten and martha #10 era

[skitskatdacat63]

I never see Sebs posts until like hours later when I come on here and eventually see it and it's just like OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEB!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!! SEB ON HIS SHOULDERS 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 SUCH AN UNDERRATED MOMENT AND THEN HE JUST CASUALLY POSTS IT ON HIS INSTA OUT OF ALL OTHER PICS HE COULD'VE CHOSEN!!!!!!!! AND HE TAGGED MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOSING IT AAAAAHHHHH

#liks this is literally his first home race #and yet he posts the first pic of him and mark's beginning pr shenanigans #like seriously the grip the pics/clip of this have had on me since i first got into martian #i think about it soooooooo much bcs how could you not think of mark literally holding baby twink seb on top of his shoulders #LIKE HES LITERALLY SITTING ON HIS SHOULDERS??????? HE GOT ON TOP OF MARK?????? AND MARK HAD TO HOLD ONTO HIS THIGHS????? #just one of those pics that gives me maximum psychic damage every time i think abt it anf i have to go look at it #i cannot emphasize enough that MARK IS HOLDING SEB!!!!!!!!!! #anyways its sat in my brain a while and now its on sebs insta so i dont know what im supposed to do with myself under these circumstances #please please god im begging that he posts one of their date pictures for Singapore 2008 please seb if you could do one thing #then again he and mark are practically running their own martian blog atp so im expecting it hahaha #i mean if there was nothing else worthwhile to post for his *home race* then why would singapore be any different #i wake up late and i dont check insta very often so ill be scrolling on here for a bit after i wake up and BOOM #hits me like an absolute freight train every single time and i have to go open insta bcs i cant believe it #home field advantage w a pic of him sitting on mark.....is he your home.......is he your advantage #anyways: catie is not okay and is filled with many emotions #catie.rambling.txt

[semiotomatics]

hey re your STD clinic notes issues - I work in a tangential field so this stuff comes up every once in a while. anyways i suspect in your case there may be privacy law issues at play; the insurer can't contact your Dr without your written consent, and your Dr can't disclose your records without the same consent. I would suggest asking either if they have a standard consent form you need to fill out to facilitate the disclosure. if you've tried that already then good luck and sorry it's such an exhausting process :(

see this occurred to me too, but when i tried to ask for said form from either of them they gave me the same dumb "just get them to ask themselves" excuse 😭 i stg both of these institutions are trying to make this more difficult. im gonna wait to see what my insurance says n then try asking for a form again if they're still giving me grief. thanks for the insight/advice!!!

#clouds gets asks #of the anonymous persuasion #i dont think ive ever experienced so much derision and dismissiveness as i have w my insurance company #like ive had to literally beg them to believe me when i say im disabled and unable to work #thank GOD my therapist is on my side or idk what id do #she literally said at the last appt “we'll fight them tooth and nail” to let me stay out of work 😭😭😭 #im so glad SOMEONE understands #like if i didn't already know im going insane i would feel like im going insane #like what do they need me to say? #do they need me to make a suicide attempt? #do they need me to get arrested/committed? #idek man

[sunsetrubdowns]

Getting direly ghosted by the person I was trying to rent a room from & had a good feeling about coworker who wants to move out of her place hasn't texted me back yet people are in my apartment right now touring it and I have 6 days to get out. I've never been so severely fucked in my entire life

#🍀 #literally I dont know what to do Im about an hour away from begging everyone I know and everyone they know if they have a place #where I could at least crash because im FUCKED #any oomfs or oomfettes in the la/surrounding area have any ideas for me Im desperate 👍

[pinkandlilacroses]

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Angel - Paige bueckers

part 3

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {drug use, angst}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bella’s pov

“ok you can go now” she says, emotionless

“oh”

“i mean, no offence but i have a girl coming soon, so you cant be here” she says laying on her back, breaking our eye contact

i don’t respond and put my clothes back on. this is fucked

“have a nice night”

i haven’t cried this much in months, walking through the halls, ugly crying.

‘paige’ has been blocked by ‘bella’

“bella whats wrong” avery says, empathetically

“i hate her, i hate her so much” i cry, barley being able to choke the words out

i look at avery after my response and i have never seen her that angry, there could fully be steam coming from her ears.

“please dont talk to her, please dont hurt her, please avery, please” i cry out, begging the infuriated girl

“why not bella, she deserves it” she yells

my tears dont stop and i feel like they will never stop pouring.

“tell me what she did”

i begin the tell her the events of tonight and her anger only grows.

“that fucking bitch” is all she can say in response

“but i blocked her, and im literally never gonna speak to her again” i say, trying to make a positive point, to counteract this negative situation

“you are never gonna speak to her again”

“im gonna go off to bed”

i feel broken, i got used. i wanted my first time with a girl to be meaningful, i know i like girls and i wanted to prove to myself that having sex with girls wasn’t wrong, but i feel wrong, i feel gross. i cant believe i would let myself be that vulnerable with someone i barley know. ive never been the one to have one night stands and ive only ever had sex with someone ive been in a relationship with.

i take my valium, something i swore to never use again after getting addicted, but its the only thing that works.

“hey, how are you feeling” avery ask’s, genuinely. i’ve never seen her be this gentle before

“wheres my weed”

“bella no”

“shut up avery”

i walk to the kitchen and unlock one of the drawers, and i see the stash. thank god

i know i shouldn’t smoke as a coping mechanism, but its the only thing that works, every time something bad happens to me, i turn to smoking

after going through 3 joints, im barley able to talk or stand up. perfect

knock

ugh

knock

fuck off

knock

“who is it” i say, it barley even sounded like words

“its azzi, is avery here”

who the fuck is azzi

“avery theres a bitch here for you” i say taking another drag

“oh my god! hey azzi” avery says, excitedly, why the fuck is she acting like that

“why are you so fucking happy” i ask, knowing full well how rude i sound

“this is azzi, shes in my psychology class and we have gotten pretty close” avery says, grabbing azzi and sitting next to me on the couch

“yo dont sit on my shit” i say, mad

“your bella right?” azzi says, happily. i hate happy people

“yeah”

“yeah avery’s told me alot about you” she says

“cool” i reply, dryly

“azzis on the basketball team” avery says, my eyes widen

“of course she is” i say, sarcastically. i hate basketball

“yeah, have you been to any games” she questioned, attempting to continue this boring conversation

“nah, i dont watch basketball”

“oh well you should sometime, avery keeps saying how she wants to go to a game” azzi says, looking at avery who begins giggling. sus

“bella your probably friends with some people on the team” avery says

“you wanna hit” i offer to azzi

“nah, i dont smoke”

“boring” i say, bluntly

“do you guys mind if some of my friends come over” azzi says

“no, no, thats perfectly fine” avery says, looking at azzi. basically eye fucking her

“who” i ask

“ice, kk, aubrey, nika and ashlee” she lists

fuck my life. im to high to care

“yeah whatever” i say, lazily

“ok perfect, ill tell them to come” azzi says, excitedly

“are you sure” avery whispers to me, being nice. for once

“i dont give a fuck, its fine” i say taking a drag

im so high. god damn

10 minutes later all of azzis friends turn up, why are they all so tall. what the fuck

avery introduces herself to them and points them to our couch

“hey im kk, your bella right” kk asks

“yeah im bella”

“hey im ice”

“hey im nika”

“hey im ashlee”

“hey im aubrey”

to many people to remember

until

“oh paige came to, i hope you dont mind” azzi says to us, mostly avery

avery says nothing, myself included

“hi paige” avery says, extremely cold

“come sit guys” azzi says, breaking the silence. i wish i wasn’t so high cause i wanna go to my room

everyone sits on the couch, paige sitting the furthest away from me. funny. not funny. not laughing

conversation begins and everyone is involved. everyone but me, ugh i’m so uncomfortable

paige keeps looking at me, and yes i’m noticing because i’m looking at her to.

paige’s pov

fuck. why do i keep looking at her.

she blocked me last night so obviously shes mad about my actions last night, its just a hookup, nothing more.

its not that deep

“i’m going to bed” bella says, slurring and barely able to stand up. i didn’t know she smoked that much, i guess i don’t know anything about her. but i don’t care.

“paige are you ready to go” kk and ice say to me

“yeah, aubrey, nika, azzi, u ready to go”

“yeah lets go”

“actually im gonna stay” azzi says. sus

“buy guys” is said in unison

azzis pov

“ugh finally” avery says, while smashing her lips onto mine

A/N: im being active rn lolll. how do we like avery and azzi

#paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers #uconn #uconn women’s basketball #uconn huskies #uconn wbb #azzi fudd #nika muhl #kk arnold

[horce-divorce]

In a category with "I understand how inflation works, make things cheaper or ill steal them"; I understand the bigger picture of why food pantries are the way they are. Yes i would still rather have means testing, barrier having, church run food pantries than none at all, but still, reduce the fucking access barriers, or I will decry them. Why is that controversial

#me #i was literally just trying to update my friend on like #hey im looking into food pantries for us but it hasnt turned up anything great yet #and she got like #super defensive of these programs #and im like #not EVEN saying that i wont use it #im saying as a trans man going to the St Vinnys and begging them for my life with my (F) Deadname photo ID doesnt make me feel safe. #i didnt say i wasnt going to do it! i said i was fucking skeptical #and she got all 'but they have to do that to track who uses it for grants. they have to. they dont actually care' #i dont care!!! i KNOW that!!! what i am TELLING you #is that it functionally makes this process unsafe and deeply unappealling to me #and she got like. 'this feels defensive and im getting distracted and i cant have this conversation rn.' #i hate it when she fucking does thus #im literally just trying to talk to my friend and she acts like im one of the kids begging her to solve my problems #girl im updating you BECAUSE EVERYONE IS HUNGRY AND YOU CANT FEED US ALL. #and i thought it would be BETTER to know that i am also trying????? #apparently fucking not???????? #and like im sorry but i am so fucking tired of saying 'x thing is imperfect and we will need more help' #and being told oh but did you REALLY look? like really? do you actually fucking get it though? #and treating me like im some idiot that doesnt understand that food pantries are already scraps #i understand WHY they enact the barriers they do. they are STILL. BARRIERS.

[almostastranger]

honestly don't know if I even want to mail this bag I'm making for my mom to her because I am so sick and tired of putting in so much extra effort and time and money into people who just can't give the same back.

#it isnt just about my mom either #i dont know how to talk to my partner or if this is going to last #because i am so tired of doing everything in this relationship and even asking for something for xmas is like. too much i guess #knowing they have way more money than me and dont even want to get me something i asked for 30$ while i have no savings and got them #something they begged for for 60$ ... its not about the money either tho like. we dont go on dates we dont have dedicated time #cause they refuse to do anything i want to do because i dont want to just sit at home and play videogames #not to mention i work 40+ hrs a week and still have to do all the chores even though theyre right there #i do all the cooking all the grocery shopping since they wont leave the house #i take care of all yhe animals while they sleep. literally #but how can i say anything. cause any time i say anything they just get upset and start crying and it never changes #same with their job they dont get paid on time and don't do anything but cry and doesn't listen when I say to stop working for their parent #cause they dont like any other job out there and doesnt want to even draw and just giving excuses all the time about literally everything #what do i say im so tired at this point i dont even know how to vring it up

[jathun]

... literally how is it this hard to just not buy a game?

#i dont get it #like while i know people got really attached to the wizard franchise when they were kids #where's the critical thought? #do you really value your own entertainment so much above people that you cant even be bothered to not do something #the royalties will go straight to rowling who will use it to fund anti-trans legislation #we know this #but even if that weren't the case #the game is an anti-semitic clusterfuck of epic proportions #it's literally about stopping the evil hook-nosed bankers from kidnapping children and teaming up with the dark wizards to commit genocide #like how can it get more explicit? #and before you come at me with #well you're the one who has to be anti-semitic for thinking they're jews #actually look up what kind of depictions were used to demonize jewish people in the past #also maybe look up where the idea of goblins actually came from? #hint: its a really old caricature of jewish people #im begging #have some critical thought people

[senxitive]

I'm not religious but I do pray for inner peace. For guidance and the smallest ray of hope in my darkest moments. For mental clarity and presence. For comfort. Even in brief moments until I can collect them all and make them into something greater, more permanent. To rise out of this terrible, terrible grip that has rendered me...lifeless. To bring myself back to me. To remember who I am and what it is like to be me. To meet myself again! She has been absent for so long and I miss her.

#i could have never predicted having this hard of a time in my life #truly unreal #so i will pray i will manifest i will beg #i want me back #i want my life back #therapy things #i also am having a the re-realization that i have literally never been alone in my life #i mean that WAS part of my reason for ending my longterm relationship because ive never been able to *do me* #and i highly value my independence and freedom autonomy etc #but on the flipside what i didnt consider is that....i DONT know what its like to be alone #like im fine to be alone...when it's a DECISION #but when it's 'oops i actually dont have anyone' its....scary #its alarming its weird its unknown its not having a sounding board its not having a source of equilibrium #there are pros and cons...but man i cant believe i didnt realize 28 years of not being alone wouldnt be hard #cant believe i didnt understand the impact #mental health

[snekdood]

Im never even really upset about losing the things people steal from me, im always more upset that they feel the need to do that and all the deception and destruction of trust that goes along with it. Its genuinely upsetting for me, and so far, none of the shit anyones stolen from me has been for like. An actual justified reason. At least steal some fuckin food or something.

#yall come in here probably believing the shit ppl say about me being rich #not for a second coming to me to figure out my situation personally #only to come into my house and learn i have nothing to fucking eat. which is prolly why you steal shit you dont need but know it will hurt #me emotionally still for you to take. like its an abuse tactic sweetie you're not the revolutionary larper you pretend to be if ur robbing #from people who are what. slightly above you because i have a place to stay? #i guess we're ignoring that where i live isnt exactly the msot Expensive apartment in the world? #given the many bug infestations and everything falling apart and this place being built back in the fucking 60s or some shit #like idk what world yall live in that you think doing this shit to me is somehow you Kicking It To The Rich People #bitch you! do! not! know! my! fucking! situation!! eat fresh shit!!! #but yknow. i guess im just the richest man in the world because i love in a shitty single bedroom apartment intstead of with a roommate #or whatever dumb backglips we're making today #live*. backflips*. i hate my phone. i miss small phones #like. sometimes my mom helps me. but i need yall to underatand that the only money i have control over is my own #i desperately need you to understand this. im literally fucking begging you to THINK about this situation more. #i dont get to decide what my mom thinks is worth helping me with or not.