#im killing myself why did she do that

[badgroupdrawings]

tonight Bad Group Drawings, len. really badly.

more on twitter, penis (badly) warning

un-friend edited me doodles

#vocaloid #len kagamine #kagamine len #abbs #bad art #doodle #whiteboard #im killing myself why did she do that #/nsrs #hatsune miku #vocaloid miku #miku fanart #len fanart

[oatbugs]

lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake

#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH #also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl #how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break #thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo #HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance #but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart #it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends #odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway #yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh #also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the #persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway #i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was #basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them #and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok #im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE #oops it was nothing #....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway #also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real #my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige #three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp #......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF #my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like #treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡ #crushposting

[lecliss]

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same #perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues #and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop #AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! #but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love' #and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this #but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all #and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and #learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense #and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem' #is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from #but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him' #EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!? #AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER #IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!! #so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS #so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it #s such a fuckinf mess!!!!! #i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here????? #i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart #start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks #remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline. #but if i say that i will get assassinated #anyway. #sock count #personal

[dreevehere]

wishing I was confident enough to post my thoughts on things without the need for a visual or cut off

Anyways I need to say the entire main party of ISAT is the rep I really needed to see… I hold ALL of them so incredibly close to my heart…

I’m going to talk more in the tags but please play this game, it’s worth it, im only on act 3 so surely it’ll get better :^)

(I reached max tag limit LMAO???)

#dramble #isat spoilers #please play this game it’s amazing the characters are so good and worth it please trust me #im about to spoiling a few things in the tags #so DO NOT look in here if you’re planning to play the game #prommy? okay ty #ISABEAU??? YOU! WHY ARE YOU ME?? #no because before I knew about the game I had a whole thing last month where I made an obituary for MY YOUNGER SELF #I wrote about killing them myself #with my bare hands #while I don’t doubt my experience is shared that is such a specific thing that it hit me like 5 trucks #when he was talking about being shy and nerdy with big glasses and clean braids #when he spoke about his shyness and inability to ask a classmate for a PEN #to thinking he was content with living his life that way but then realizing that NO he did not want that #to growing and changing into the person he wish he knew at a young age #it’s. I think about that a lot and seeing someone in media share that very same experience is just. wow. #NOW MIRABELLE!!!! #AMAZING AROACE REP #SHE IS SO AROACE YALL #GOD SHE IS SO GOOD!!!!! #adorable sweet girl!! she loves the idea of romance!! but she doesn’t want it for herself!!! #there are people like her!!! and I love them!! #you can be nice to people sweet to people love them care about them #but still be unable to reciprocate any more than platonic love to them and that’s OKAY #ITS VALID!!! #also siffrin being ace as well!!!! #god I am so seen in such a good way #im going to cut myself off now but my shorter thoughts on the others are: #Bonnie is such a well written child character #ODILE MIXED RACE YAAAAAA

[sheilaerinniperonista]

it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.

#fugo.txt #like. idk i feel like im repeating myself but i cant stress this shit enough man. she was just a little girl #she was like 10 #damn. #and like by that point she had already very much gone thru a lot of death. her parents were gone and the only family she had was her sister #and the only friend she had was her dog. #and then they both died. and she saw them die. right after the other. and then she was completely alone #idk looking at it thru that lense its not surprising at all that she decided to do all that. she was grieving and she didn't have anyone- #-to guide her in that. and the only logical progression she could fathom is that whoever killed her sister should suffer the same. #and deep down she knows she's doing this for herself because she doesn't KNOW what else to do. and she feels guilty. what would clara even- #think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all. #thats why she froze up when fighting against kocaqi. his sister also died right in front of him. but he did what she couldnt do #he gave her peace of mind. he gave her a dignified death. she died happy. clara didnt. and sheila can NEVER give that to her #all she can do is posthumously give her peace by murdering her murderer. but would Clara want that? #ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50 #but. man.. #please take the time to think of her tjis december

[orcelito]

My druid has "fuckboy" written all over her

#speculation nation #shes a druid but she does Not look it. nor does she act like it really. #druid stuff exists to beef myself up as a front liner (spores druid ftw) #and to act as an excuse like 'whaaaat why r u so suspicious of me im a druid 🥺🥺🥺 i just want what's best for nature 🥺🥺🥺' #meanwhile here i am hogging ALL the worms we manage to find (or. well. most of them.) #bc im going full ham into my powers lol theyre so useful #this is a game of pressing Every button and seeing what happens. yet still going along the lines of good? approximately? #it very much does feel like the kind of thing a druid drow would do. willing to consort with the darkness #but still ultimately striving for peace and order. #i am just perhaps a little bug-brained to accomplish this :3 #ive been playing a Lot of bg3. progressing well through act 2. everything is so very scary and i am just 1 druid 🥺 #(i say as if i havent killed literally every single enemy ive come across. im so fucking good at this game.) #the house of healing was by far my least favorite part (so far). that boss battle was TERRIBLE but i managed to get through it. #according to my friends they just talked their way out of it. not me tho. i saw that guy strapped to the table and i was just like #'GET FUCKED BRO' *casts moonbeam* *proceeds to get the shit stabbed outta me* #holy shit he did so much damage. and he was focused ONLY ON ME....... #took me and shadowheart both healing to keep up with the damage he was doing (while astarion and karlach did most of the attacking) #but i did it! hes gone! but holy shit poking around his stuff has been so. eugh. #im in the towers now. so scary. just barely started them tho. gonna look for the prisoners and then proceed from there. #that ketheric dude is fucking terrifying. so big scared about him. but All Men Die The Same 😈 #.....well maybe not exactly the same given his 'immortality' thing 😂 but i'll figure it out. #anyways yea check out taltana im going for a mixed feminine and masculine kinda vibes with her. and enjoying it very much. #bg3 spoilers/

[izzy-b-hands]

today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

#text post #no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning #but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry #and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even' #she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year #and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down #and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings #which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit #doesn't fix it but at least i know. #the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me #but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's. #i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything???? #why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time #there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is #I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise #it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like #whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj

[malikselfindulgence]

Being the bigger person and emailing my mom's inactive email "kys" instead of saying it to her face directly

#malik's rambles #OAUAGHJ&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #mymom when im not crying screaming killing myself over grades like i used to #HOWcan you say youd rarher i hurt myself daily and study than relax all day WHAT the fuck is wrong w y #Ive been clean for over a year I am not !! doing that shit again . why did you love me only at my lowest !!!! #i hope she DIES a million times over . GOD . #ok thisis venting at this point sorry #vent #im so mature . sooo mature iam so capable of being the adult in this mother daughter relationship when i am the daugh ter . #i feel ridiculous for being so angry when this is one of the tamest things shes said or done . it feels stupid #me x oversharing on the internet . my badim just rlly fucking mad and have no time to do anything w it i have to study #“id rather have a dead daughter than a failure” smiles normally . because im so normal . #ok ENOUGH of that im just gonna take a break and relax andthen study actuall y im getting overwhelmed . #may she never breathe again AMEN !!!!!

[scionshtola]

i guess if i had criticisms of or like. wishes. for the writing on shtola it would be that i would like to see more how her being blind actually affects her and for her to face something that really made her struggle with her convictions

#like. aang i guess is the only example off the top of my head agdhsjsj #the problem is that shtola convictions don’t really lend themselves to struggle bc her convictions are things like #‘i want to know the secret at the heart of the world. i want to know the truth.’ #which is a lot harder to challenge than like ‘i refuse to kill anyone including the fire lord’ lmao #like someone who is always open to learning is going to be difficult to challenge that way #or maybe she could have something she really wants to do not work out #idk just like something that’s not easily solved?? a long term emotional arc like thancred gets in shb #idek what it would be though i need to think more #she does have some growth like she was never really a *leader* necessarily before shb and in 5.3 she tells you #to make sure she makes time for things that aren’t books lol #she does get a lot of screen time and i love her dearly obviously which is why i want a little more for her you know?? #idk if any of this makes sense…let shtola struggle more basically but she doesn’t have to *change* #it’s 12:20 am idk if this makes sense i’ll probs delete it in the morning im just talking to myself shdjsjdc #i need a text post tag #brain just going back and forth between shtola and estinien and i didn’t see him today but i did see her!

[youaremysunshine-court]

.

#like lowkey really wanna stop living idk #idk #i know its not me but she makes me feel so unloveable like ill never be loved by anyone like the minute they get to know me theyll leave #like maybe they only like the front i put up and if they knew the real me theyd hate me like she hates me #i wish id never been born i feel so unwanted i literally just wanna die #if i didnt wake up tomorrow i would be so fucking happy #i dont even know anymore if i had more willppwrr maybe id just fucking kill her or myself and be done with this shit #fucking christ #i say something anything and she takes it and twists it until it paints me as a villain i dont know what to do #i literally said oh i feel carsick and she started screaming at me twlling me not to be selfish i fucking #i was about to puke #i had to shut my mouth for the next hour up the mountains while she talked like nothing was wrong #i dont know if im being unfair to her if my pov is painting her in a bad light or what #but it fucking hurts man #it hurts so much and i dont know what to do i just wanna stop living #why does she hate me so much what did i do that made her hate me so much what can i do to make her love me #shes supposed to be the mature one here but im always the one who stops fighting and withdraws so we can have some fucking peace in this ho #house #i crave the hours when shes out of the house because it means i can just exist without feeling guilty for it

[sensitivegoblin]

….

#my sister got me these rainbow high dolls #AND IM DOING A WHOLE GROCERY ORDER TO PAY HER BACK #and they made me so happy I started scripting again (long story) #they gave me such autistic joy and now I can’t even look at them #cus she just gives these death glares like #she’d swear she doesn’t do it #but since yknow I dared to stand up for myself #she had to be all like ‘I do everything for you and nothing is happening to you’ #thanks DAD2.0 now I’m never trusting you again #our relationship is much better when we don’t live together #but if I try to tell her I’m not moving in she’ll have a whole meltdown #if I wanna make everyone happy it means that I’m miserable an depressed 24/7 #so whatever I dunno #I’m just so fucking angry I keep hurting myself #why did God make me? #i suck im a loser I have no real talent I can’t do anything right #i beg God to kill me and he doesn’t #im just so tired of killing myself to make everyone happy #the only thing that takes me out of these moments is if I imagine kms over n over n over until I feel like I can actually feel the pain #I’m so tired I want someone to hold me like they used to :’(

[atnaturesmercy]

my brain is actually broken and irreparable. im never going to escape the broken record bathtub drain. i despise it. i almost convinced myself i was a person. no, fuck, i did. i actually want to be taken out back and shot like a lame horse. i'm about to snap and have a nervous paranoid-psychotic breakdown. everything is hilarious, nothing has consequences. plaything. doll. pet. mommy's little helper. hm. tired of keeping it all together. not tired because i want to spiral (i don't), but tired because of the effort it's taking. when the fuck will it pay off. things like that. im like five coffees in trying not to day drink

#i'm not even suicidal and i would have no right to be because nothing happened so like ... why do i feel so numb #you know when you have a brain injury and you're like wow. i'm not supposed to think/process information like this? but you can't stop? #like you feel the brain damage? #she says my hands are the gentlest things and i'm very deliberate and slow and it's like ... yeah... #i can't hurt people. i'm not a sadist. i'm always so afraid i'll get people sick if i get close to them #like whatever fucked me up indefinitely will rub off on them #i can't be a person anymore but i don't ... i hate having abnormal behaviors #i dissected my burger in front of my parents yesterday and my dad asked if he cooked it wrong #and like ... ive never ever shown him how i eat i always feign normalcy #and it was just too hard and then i had to cover up and say no its fine because i almost hurt his feelings #and i just picked at it and he asked me if im getting enough calories in and im like fuck dude if i know #but nothing happened like because if something DID happen there would be no damage control #i would want to die. i promised myself that. i would kill myself. when i got my period for the first time in two years #i cried for ten hours it was like... great. like losing childhood all over #but i'm happy and well adjusted my brain just doesn't work it keeps forgetting things... randomly crying ... images wont leave #i cant even focus on numbers because i don't know the date #all of my dates and timeline in my head they're fucked up. and i know the dates for everything #i know the dates for everything that has ever happened in my life #i'm about to have a nervous breakdown but i'm also so chillax about everything

[airbenderedacted]

I love you too!!! /p For the record I also listen to will wood I’m just not a superfan and I haven’t listened to the album because I didn’t have the energy to listen to new music yesterday,,, But anyways yes idk I just remember you talking about listening to will wood a while ago and you were like “I’m a gay little spinel kinnie of course I do” so maybe I had those words subconsciously in my mind… but in any case I . I just wanted to tell you everything will be okay . Because I know you have been sad in the past :( . And being a spinel kinnie if it’s for trauma is inherently sad HASHJSNAD. Anyways goodnight or good morning depending on when you see this. Rest well buddy💗💗💗

"I'M A GAY LITTLE SPINEL KINNIE OF COURSE I DO"

#IMN SIRRY YSYHGS BJNMS IM SORRY I READ THAT PART AND IT SENTM #JKSDFHGVSD NM E SO BAD I LIKE/ . #i think ym whole brain exploded just the inherit humor of that is GODLY im scvreaming #idk what it was i SAID but you remembering it like that is killing me it's jkllk BGHVDFJMK #HELPa #crying that made me completely unable to read the rest of ur ask for like. the past IDK mins straight hjsefhjskjs #BUT ANYWASY UM! okay yeah no i've been doing really well like emotionally and healthily and academically these past few months!!! #i think it so very WILL be okay YEAH!!!! 😄 <3333 that's really nice of you to wanna send me ty <333333 #(bc god yeah i was . fucked up SO BAD the beginning of the year. and also for a decent while prior to that. The Foreshadowing to the hrtgh) #(BUT IT'S FINALLY ENDEEEEDDDD YEYAGHDHAAHHHH and it better stay that way god (it probably will lol i've fixed like. a Lot of Thimngs👍💖)) #Also. to that last spinel kinnie mention: HELP? #DWNMBDNBSNM OKAY ICAN SAY RIGHT NOW THAT THE KINNIE THING IS NOT BECAUE OF TRAUMA or at least i dont think i can say that #that fyucked up lil wad of pink bubble gum of a gem is just Literally Me and it's insane and yah :) #genuinely. very genuinely. movie premiere bringing her into existence was like having a mirror held up to my mind's eye. crazy #both in aesthetic and being ridiculously relatable on so many fronts both to past and present instances of myself like wtfff #(minus her wanting to hurt innocents during her stupid fucked up and evil phase - that was NOt a mood 😰 girl wtf the fuc) #WHY DID SHE HAVE LIKJE ALL OF MY MANNERISMS AT THE TIME. HER STUPID LITTLE WALK. THAT WAS 2019 ME HELPP #okay anyway done screaming abt being a kinnie ty for the ask and being so sweet and fun to talk to !!! 👋😄😊 <333 #fr!!!!!! ♡

[chisatowo]

I need to write an essay on Alpha NOW (<- won't because it needs to shower and sleep)

#rat rambles #oc posting #why did I get better at properly taking care of myself wheres the days where Id just stay up til 5 am doing impulse projects smh /j #but also fuck man alpha. alpha. #every now and then I just need to remember that fucked up lil bastard and lose my mind again #bastard who is having the worst time of her life (she killed two guys to piss of her ex and was shocked when said ex got pissed off) #and then the horrors #wait why did I say two ppl no she didnt it was only one #oh wair I think in my head I was counting beats oops #anyways theres a LOT more going on with alpha than that but again Im not writing that essay rn dudjdydk #but anyways are you guys ready to never see me again after tommorow (splat 3 comes out) #if any mutuals wanna play with me feel free to ask me for my switch code :> #or honestly even if we're not mutuals I might consider it if you interact regularly dhsjdhdj #honestly I rly should follow some of yall back but following ppl back makes me anxious for some reason dhdjdh #but yeah shout out to the like 4 of you who consistently rb my art I see you and love you <3

[yamikawas]

ok but literally anyone else who likes yoomtah too much should die.Lol

ps: girl i went so insane i hit max tags before i was even done typing.

#going on twitter to search for more images of her and being reminded that other people like her and getting violent abt it hashtag girl #full offense but you are never going to even come CLOSE to loving her the way i do you dont even deserve to LOOK at her ^_^ #bet yoomtah would shock you to death with a million volts to the head for trying to get in between us lol #(''you'' referring to the people i want dead for liking yoomtah not to the person reading this JSYK) #but like seriously why cant people just get that shes MINE and just shut up and draw her without saying weird crap #bro shes taken she would literally kill you for trying to get in between us the only one who she wants to cuddle and hold hands with is ME #her and i are at a point where we seriously know we're gonna get married and you STILL have the nerve to say things like that about her??? #SHE'S TAKEN SHE'S IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WE'RE PRACTICALLY ENGAGED HAVE YOU CONSIDERED DYING IN A DITCH AND GOING TO HELL #like what the hell is your problem are you somehow not aware that she is already mine. that i'm the one who truly loves her. #like what do i gotta do to drill it into your ignorant brains #SH TW /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// do i need to carve her name into my skin to prove it. Lol #i could!!! i really could!!! i bet no one else would do that for her!!! it would prove everything she means to me!!! #would you finally leave her alone then??? would that prove how much i need her??? would you finally let me have her all to myself??? #but she wouldnt want to see me hurt. and if she Did then thatd make me feel even worse. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #but i'm not about to hurt someone else irl to prove myself so what other option do i have #but also that'd require posting sh pics to prove it and well guess what happened to my old vent blogs when i posted sh pics -_- #ok if ur reading this and genuinely worried for my safety or something i am most likely Not going to actually do anything im just being a #lil mental rn and i need to get the thoughts out there so they dont fill up my brain i hope u understand JHSJDKFBJGKG #SH TW IS OVER U CAN KEEP READING IF U WANTED TO SKIP THAT #girl what is wrong with me i base my entire life around a cartoon chr and then get mad when other people like her at all #but to be fair she's the first real reason to live i've ever had like. #i remember even at early elementary school age i felt like i would question what i was even alive for and if i even had a purpose #i am not sure if that is normal or not but i have a feeling it is not? #and if u followed my old vent blogs u would know How i was. Yknow #and even with things and chrs i liked before none of them made me feel a genuine reason to live.Until Yoomtah #it didn't take long for me to notice that the happiness i felt with her was something much more significant #something that gave me hope to keep going. something that made me feel truly alive. #something i have never experienced before- she is something to LIVE for. #shes my everything!!! shes the reason why i was made!!!! i could never exist without her and thats why i felt so dead before i met her!!!!! #what i feel for her is love but also so so so much more than just ''love'' can describe!!!!!!

[readymades2002]

who even give a fuck. yknow

#getting drunk before work because who gives a shit ^_^d #yesterday was real fucking bad so im thinking like why am i even fucking trying you know none of these assholes even talk to me #unless its to go ermmmm i cant help noticing your department isnt achieving infinite growth when will you guys stop sucking #shit? just curious yhaha and if they want to talk about me they go behind my back and ask other people why im cutting #which a) i wear short sleeves this isnt a secret im keeping and 2) fuck you for deciding its your business and then NOT EVEN #ASKING /ME/ but whatever thy want to get pissy at me for their own failure to communicate fucking let them i dont care #ive been killing myself for this stupid job for a year now i wake up in the morning and my first thought is how bad my knee hurts #im one of the best we've got and what do i have to show for it no one fucking talks to me i dont care #no one will go 'hey did you get fucking sloshed before coming here' becaus etheyre scared of talking to m e for some reason #i literally dont know but if they ask then like who fucking cares this isnt on me i dont feel human doing this job i dont feel like a perso #no one treats me like one unless i waste time quote unquote to not do my job and talk to people who like care if i live or die or whatever #so like who fucking cares even ill do whatever i want ill get drunk before work ill do shit at my job ill talk to someone i love fuck it #whatever!!! should have acted like i was a person instead of ignoring the people youre throwing into a meatgrinder for profit i guess #who fucking cares! #already had my MOTHER get weird about me buyng booze for reasons that are none of her fucking business and that she #wouldnt know the details of anyway if she hadnt been snooping because i have no privacy and no space of my own lol #so might as well drink it i guess it was 30 bucks anyway and i dont have any fucking moneyyyyyyyy so what am i #who am i fucking KIDDINGGGGGGGGGG lol its fucked its all fucked!!! whatever!!! who give a shit!!! nothing fucking matters