#im honestly like completely fine

[roaringheat]

chat, i did it i finally broke up with my partner

#vark posts #did it back on monday #figured id update for those of yall that were so supportive lmao #i read all those messages i got before i did it #im honestly like completely fine #i was pretty fucked the first convo but ig i just needed to process which made the finalizing convo so much easier #was pretty emotionally exhausted for the next like 24hrs after but im just chillin now #yall were right its def a big relief lmao #its just a little awkward now since we live together but at least its not just us two here #i havent been single since dec 2020 since my first 2 relationships were unfortunately back to back lmao #they werent nearly as bad as my first relationship but it was like trying to force together two puzzle pieces that didnt fit #which made a lot of things pretty frustrating #another win for self care #ty again to those of yall that were so nice abt it even if it was just consistently liking the vent posts of me losing my mind lmao :^)

[hisbutler-problematic]

what i really love about black butler is they said what if there was one little boy and for some unknown reason absolutely unhinged occult stuff ALWAYS happened around him

they try to play it off by being like “oh he’s a phantomhive, they deal w all kinds of stuff” but then they make it very clear that this little boy is the only one who has to deal with shit like demons and shinigami and werewolves and zombies, etc

like no one is super surprised when he’s like “oh just another day dismantling the zombie factory” but there’s also a distinct “wtf do you mean zombie factory” air to it

queen: there’s witches and werewolves in germany that you have to deal with ciel: why the fuck do i have to go to germany (his only problem w that sentence)

and then the little boy has the audacity to be like “tbh don’t really believe this witch and werewolf thing :/“ to his DEMON butler

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #our ciel #im obsessed w this little dude ngl #remember that time he said ‘i’m not interested in the occult’ right in front of his demon butler with whom he holds a demon contract #hes so fucking funny #the overall attitude towards his everyday is hilarious honestly #imagine rolling up to buckingham palace and being like. hello your majesty it turns out the problem was zombies #completely straight faced #and then the queen just goes ‘oh zombies? alright’ #and it’s not just ciel it’s not just the queen #lizzie heard ‘corpses’ and freaked out but got over that FINE. #there are bigger problems to deal with than moving corpses. how will i stay CUTE through all this!! #shes right tho #also shout out to her family for hearing ‘you need to go for their heads’ and questioning nothing and just being like ‘cool tnx 4 the info’ #like. what the fuck were the phantomhives involved in BEFORE ciel ever brought a demon into all this #sky posting

[fernfreakingtastic]

If you're having a bad day but think you don't deserve someone or even yourself being nice to you:

Shane, even at his lowest, has the farmer want to see him and care about hearing how he's doing. Even when he was at his meanest/lowest points in the game, everyone that collectively put in the effort to see those hearts with him rise up knew what they were walking into. They still came by sometimes every single day they could to give him something they hoped he liked and talked to him to see how he was doing. They genuinely wanted to see him smiling and happy with his aunt and niece and get better. Whether platonically or romantically they care for him

You deserve your own farmer.

You deserve to treat yourself like how the farmer treats Shane when they're trying to get his heart events

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #me having feelings when someone accurately describes why i love Shane #i dont like how if you marry him his room in the house is an utter mess with cans but honesty #i look at my room especially on my bad days with the pop cans i keep forgetting to recycle or at least get out of my room #and i remember Shane probably has bad days to #i'd check to help him try to keep it cleaned up whether just as a reminder or actually helping him #i wouldnt make him feel like shit but still call him out if it was needed #i need to be like the farmer and care about myself like i care about Shane #If i wanna see those blue chickens i need to give myself something i like that makes me happy #add on: i do still understand why some people dont like Shane and honestly? completely fine with that! they see him differently than i do #also yes hi im not dead im just 🌟tired but trying🌟

[thwackk]

i demand your arts

here u can have this one single piece of fanart i made for the fanfic that literally ruined my entire life

#the little house on the prairie halbarry… #if you know you know #halbarry #hal jordan #barry allen #kyle rayner #guy gardner #they r fuckin silly and nothing bad happens in the story i promise. everything is fine forever :) #i gotta be so honest right now that shit is the best thing i’ve ever read in my entire life i am so completely dead serious you dont even kn #i would do horrible ungodly things to farmer barry #what. sorry the demons won #okay honestly i could gush abt this fanfic for literal days it’s not funny i could make like a whole powerpoint abt it it’s been driving me #absolutely crazy please help me #im so normal abt it #my art lol #the absolute grip this shit still has on me… i’ll never get over it

[accidental-spice]

In the words of Jessica Day, "Work sucked today, my friends"

#at least im 90% sure she said that once #anyways it sucked. a LOT #i i paid for something i shouldnt have causing my boss to have to reimburse me and they were. less than pleased #and like i get that i should have communicated better but maybe so should you guys? #i dont know. i think im not completely in the wrong about this but its hard to tell right now #i just want to cry and not think about it ever again #at the moment only one of those is happening #i just. it cant have been ENTIRELY my fault #and i honestly dont know why its such a big deal #but my boss and i have VERY different minds #uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh #i feel like everything turned out fine but i also feel like its all my fault and everything sucks #and maybe i should stand up for myself but. i do. not. want. to #i KNOW im gonna say my thoughts on it and theyre gonna say something else and ill be like uuuuhhhhh #sure yes whatever im clearly wrong #sigh

[zero-a]

people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"

#mine.txt #just thinking about all those 'think positively!' and 'romanticize your life!' posts #like on one hand i can see their merit cause self-hatred though instinctual is ultimately detrimental to your mental health #but on the other hand...some of them (a lot of them) are really just unashamedly asking other people to completely change themselves huh #all in the guise of ''positive thinking'' ''self-love'' and ''betterment'' no less #i suppose i shouldnt be surprised considering most people can barely grasp the concept of someone who Genuinely has muted emotions #as a natural state instead of a depressive symptom #not to mention the human quality of escalating things #so ofc tumblr which seems to currently be in its mental health recovery phase would naturally lean in so hard towards ''radical happiness'' #but man sometimes i really do just wanna shake the person from behind the screen and say #'no! dont you understand! this is just how i am! stop implying that everybody who doesnt feel joy at simply waking up is a miserable hag!' #sometimes they dont even imply it they just straight up say it 💀 #im honestly fine (as in idc) with seeing them but they remind me so much of those toxic positivity bitches that sell you random hoaxes #and tell you that youre ''ruining their vibes'' when youre not just beaming like the sun every waking second #well idc most of the time that is #sometimes they just trigger my szpd (and my dpd weirdly enough) #with the szpd obviously i dont like being told what to do and what to feel and having some rando assume things about me #but with the dpd its like #oh i must be doing something wrong ofc this stranger on the internet knows more about emotions and feelings than me #cause im a dumbass who doesnt Feel things therefore i must do what they say even to my own detriment #this mainly applies to those guilt-trippy ones so ive learned to steer clear of them #possibly even block the op

[spinoff-antithesis]

RATING: G RELATIONSHIP: Female Pokedex Holder Blue | Green & Silver (Pokemon) SUMMARY: green feels that she has a lot to apologize for. silver, on the other hand, doesn't know how to explain to his sister that he doesn't blame her for anything. EXTENDED SUMMARY:

“I’m proud of you. I don’t know what all happened on your journey,” she starts, looking back at the direction they’re taking, “and I wish you would’ve contacted me before you started working with Lance, but you made it out in one piece and better than I could’ve ever hoped for. I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to be there more for you.”

Silver stares at the back of her head, walking on autopilot.

He wants to tell her that she’s done enough, that he’s sorry for never reaching out until they ran into each other by pure chance. That he’s thankful for her and keeping him together in one piece when they were no more than children and that he wants to get stronger to protect her and keep her from ever having to go through something like losing her family again.

Instead, what he says instead is, “Why did you leave me that night?”

#pokemon adventures #pokemon special #pokespe #trainer green #rival silver #THEY ARE SIBLINGS YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM SO BADLY OH MY GOD #also yeah. i listened to christmas kids on loop half the time i wrote this. rest of the time it was the playlist #(mostly sisters + i know the end though) anyway i love doing character studies #i wanted to do more on their like. trauma etc etc and like healing from it but got this instead. the edit i made is closer to trauma stuff. #which honestly kinda works. but like. yeah idk idk if u like pokespe.... and green & silver siblings..... you should read the fic....... #it's also the first one-shot i've completed in like two years...... so........... #definitely also meant to post this like two days ago but its fine its fine im queue'ing it now to post at noon #anyway thinking too hard abt this song & how it fits with the masked children. specifically green and silver. #my writing #also im rereading yellow and im just kinda like. giggling a bit. green doesnt like the elite four so silver working with lance is always #kinda funny to me. green voice “yeah i think theyre the ones who kidnapped me” silver working with lance who only uses dragons “x to doubt” #also. giggles excitedly i love writing in second person and the flashbacks are in second person. i will not apologize. its FUN

[taeyungie]

hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹

here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰

#honestly... it was yoongi's comeback that made it happen. that made me have motivation to come back. i didnt expect it but here we are LOL #because for the past months i have been struggling a lot and i almost lost all the connections with my friends family and bangtan #i lost all my feelings and thoughts #i didnt miss anyone i didnt want to do anything i didnt want to be anywhere. i was completely submerged into my own head #i still am. it didnt exactly get better but.. its just yoongis impact jasbhdjdjd he made me remeber a lot #in october last year i developed a very agressive eating disorder and its gotten a lot worse at the begging of this year #and it has taken everything from me. it sucked me dry and still continues to do so. it made my mental health so much worse on every level #but im still here and thats what matters in the end right ❤️ #from the good things - after long unfortunate and very stressful job hunting i finally got a stable job 🥰 and i continue my uni so far #that's why i was absent here most of the time. i decided to focus on my life and on trying to change something and to fight a little more #after jin's enlistment announcement... it was a wake up call for me #and maybe soon i will be back on track but im taking things slow. especially that its not easy for me at all #but i just wanted you to know that theres been a lot happening here so ❤️ im not just getting bored of tumblr and bts haha #i never stopped following the fandom i never turned off my notifications from media i never stopped looking up what they're up to each day #i just didnt have time and motivation to be active. because of my health i wanted to be quiet and away from eveyone and everything :/ #even from my comfort people and activities #that sounds sad but. it's alright so please don't worry about me ❤️ I'm holding on just fine. got used to some things ❤️ trying to heal #so yeah i think thats that haha i think its enough and all basically #it may seem like very little but my life has always been very slow when it comes to big actions haha #anyway. love you all so much ❤️ thank you for not forgetting about me ❤️ #soon i will try to answer some mesdages from my inbox. please wait for me just a little bit more ❤️ im very overworked right now #but im so sorry that you have to wait so long ❤️

[cruelsister-moved2]

nostalgia for a lost past is like largely morally neutral i think it's more in how that past is imagined (and how much we acknowledge that the past is inherently imaginary) where we start to see issues but its like. really really weird to see how many self-styled left wing people seem to feel that reminiscing over a charming and idyllic is somehow inherently progressive. like what does the word progressive mean on its most fundamental level come ON.

#a part of me feels like saying miyazaki is reactionary as hell #whichwould be reinforced by his takes on female animators #and everything about the wind rises . .. . . . .. .. . . #but the other partof me is like well provided that the past is owned up to as an imaginary thats paradoxically only beautiful BECAUSE we ar #no longer in it etc etc etc then its probably fine #but its like really confusing and jarring to see people hold the opinionn like #miyazaki films are good/moral/left wing because they long to return to a past which is good/moral/communal. according to their own logic. #ummm. guy who has literally never encountered fascism before? shfiushgdfg #my biggest learning curve for myself rn is recognising that Emotion which gives rise to reactionary behaviour is not criminal #and even if it were its not possible to repress that emotion #so better to honestly address it than try and force yourself to pretend its not there. like yeah nostalgia is a huge part of most fascist #movements but the best way to counteract that is to be like yes i long for this imagined world or i think the past was great because i was #child there and less aware of The Horrors etc. #rather than like pretend you dont harbour that feeling at all. so thats why with revival moments im always like PLEASE JUST BE HONEST THAT #YOURE A REVIVAL. #i completely understand why u want to wear flower crowns and skip around in a field!!!! just dont be like 'im retvrning to the natural ways #of my ancestors'

[sharkomen]

me setting alarms that i know i will be awake for in case i die or smth and dont wake up in time for my plans

#no more pain-somnia.. make way for obsessive compulsive insomia #okay but like its fine bc i know exactly whats triggering it #but it is also a thing that is currently completely out of my control so like slayyyy #sorry for the late night vent guyys.. im just tired honestly

[wigglepiggle]

FRYESWEEP!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

#splatoon #honestly id be fine if big man won too but. frye has only won like 1 splatfest iirc and thats incredibly sad #come one shes so silly #if shiver wins again. im so sorry i think shes fine i have not much against her #but i will be a bit ticked i just want someone else to win once and then i will be completely fine

[hella1975]

no one freak out but...... i dont have a hangover.....

#SJKDHGKJSDHG?????? GO BAD BITCH GO BAD BITCH GO #she's finally done it. after four years of heavy drinking she's finally figured it out #i literally feel fine i feel GOOD even #like i made PASTA when i came home last night and downed most of the water by my bed #and this morning i felt a bit rough at first but i got up and had a shower took my makeup off #and lowkey tacky chunned a TINY bit and low and behold i feel completely fine #me and my mates are sorting out a housing application too btw. if you even care #BC WE'VE BEEN DOING VIEWINGS AND WE FOUND SUCH A NICE HOUSE YESTERDAY #LIKE IT MET ALL OUR REQUIREMENTS AND WAS ONE OF THE CHEAPEST ONES #I WANT HER SO BAD #BUT IM WORRIED WE ARENT GONNA GET IT BC APPARENTLY DEMAND IS HIGH WHICH LOWKEY SOMETIMES #THEY JUST SAY THAT SO YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BUT HONESTLY I DOUBT IT #FOR A HOUSE LITERALLY AROUND THE CORNER FROM UNI FOR CHEAP THAT'S IN GOOD CONDITION? YEAH NAH #if we dont get this house im going to be genuinely devastated everyone pray for me #hella goes to uni

[unusualshrimp]

hmm gender thoughts

#the people who made pronouns page have another website right #and one of the options there is you can pin your gender on a gradient that goes hypermasculine -> androgynous -> hyperfeminine #and it's like a linear gradient and i hate that SO MUCH. this is hostile architecture for Me Specifically #[disclaimer that if you find that type of thing helpful that's completely fine] #but anyway my gender is like. im a guy but not in a trans guy way #and im a girl but NOT in a cis girl way and i call myself girl in my head a lot but i am a bit Sensitive about how other people use it? #and im always thinking too hard about ''are they acknowledging my 5D chess gender or subconsciously saying it because of my appearance'' #if someone called me androgynous or whatever im stabbing them though. idk that just feels so... gender neutral? and im not gender neutral #do ya feel me. #i feel a bit silly typing all this but ah this is the transgender website i think u all would understand me #im a guy like. you know the weird guy who shows up overdressed to casual events but he looks nice so its fine really #and also like. guy who always wears black and looks cool [the cool might just be in my head but thats fine] #and. i might have to think harder abt how i feel regarding Girl ™. i dont want to discard it because i do love doing my own thing with it #but also like being perceived as a cis girl (intentionally or unintentionally) makes me want to jump out of my body. lol. anyway #this is all so sucks honestly my favourite gender is just creature. #you see a thing so weird you just go '' oh god what is that'' and not gender. although i do like the flavour of it/its that is so niceys... #oh jesus uhh #long post #<- for the tags

[ahalliance]

losing my mind rewatching old vods . completely forgot qbagz, qantoine, qpierre and qbbh were ready to pull the same ‘take his items and trap him’ strat they was pulled on qforever during the happy pills arc on qétoiles . since they were all worried that the code scar was actually corruption and they wanted to get him to stop using the shield because of it . like i completely forgot that happened and now im brainrotting over it

#jay rambles #luckily qantoine came in with the reasonable idea of ‘maybe let’s talk with him first?’ which the others agreed with lmfao #and nothing came from it bc my bro qetoiles is the goat and was actually doing fine the whole time #but ooo . good shit #im so fascinated by the storytelling possibilities linked to his code scar honestly #bc while he’s doing fine and is pursuing the codes and their lore out of his own accord and interest . it can come across sus to an outside #person on the island . who isn’t magically aware of the dude’s thoughts and mental state #and i love how the different islanders have approached it so far . overall they still trust him without question but they’re still on edge #just in case SMTH were to happen . #like qbagz said . she trusts him completely but she doesn’t trust what secret bullshit the island could pull to sweep the rug out from unde #his feet basically #good character interactions . yes

[twistedsickopath]

it's so funny how like... some music and the bands that make it are what i call edginess for neurotypicals. an example of a band like that is 21 pilots and especially that one line in fairly local that goes "this song will never be on the radio" that played on every top 40 station 5 times an hour when it came out. another example is billy eyelash's bad guy which is a song that i just cannot take seriously no matter how hard i tried to enjoy it. every time i hear the lyrics "my mommy likes to sing along with me / but she won't sing this song / if she read all the lyrics she'd pity the men i know" i just cannot stop myself from laughing because it's like... girl you're fucking 18yo!! your mommy is more likely to ground you for saying this kind of bullshit than anything else. also stop singing about seducing people's dads, i repeat YOU ARE 18!!! if a dad is ever interested in you you should be very very scared and concerned.

anyway, i don't really have a point to make in this post, i just wanted to talk about musicians and bands that think they're so dang alternative and edgy and like ohhh we're like the weird kids etc while somehow their songs are in the top 40 hits of the year and literally every normie listens to them because they also think they're so weird and badass for listening to "alt" music. it's pathetic.

#psalms #idk man honestly you can completely ignore this post #im stoned and i have thots and onions about things #i currently have a very annoying and bad song stuck in my head since i heard it yesterday at the dollar store #and i can't remember the name of it but it's some garbage by fifth harmony and camilla whatever her last name was #it's literally so fucking bad #and tbh listening to it at the store made me laugh because when she tries to hit those high notes right before the chorus #you can literally hear the way her range is too weak for them and it sounds like she's squealing #like she's not a bad singer overall i wouldn't say #her voice sounds just fine for the rest of the song where the pitch is something she can reach #but those few high notes... oh man.... #you can really hear very well how her voice is just too weak to hit those and the way it loses it's musical timbre trying #it's hilarious #ugh i got off track #the post was really about the music the most boring and basic white girls listen to and think they're edgy for it #bestie if it's being played on the popular radio stations it's not alternative or edgy or emo or anything #it's just FUCKING BASIC #okay that's it bye

[risingsunresistance]

love the keyboard this desktop came with even tho it's gonna take a lot of getting used to (i am making So Many typos) but i think i might need a new mouse. i have tiny baby hands and this mouse is literally bigger than my hand, i feel like i can barely click it KJGFH

#im trying really hard to get used to the keyboard. i wanted a nice fat keyboard and that's what i got #but i keep hitting between keys and typing things like. kj hg re when im trying to type only one of those letters #laptop keyboard ruined me it was so flat and hard to hit. these keys are SO SENSITIVE kjfhg #i just wish they were a little more. resistant? like i wish it took more effort to hit them so that maybe that would happen less #but i will get used to it 👍 #when i get back from work im gonna try my best to go ahead and get minecraft set up #bc that's honestly the best way to stress test this thing lol. at least for what i need it for #can it run mods. can it stay connected to a server decently. can i get a consistent fps. how hard is it to control with a new keyboard #those are the important things as long as i can get that stuff done it'll be fine lol #so far screen recording is WAY better #so that's nice :D #also shoutout to these 2007 speakers i had laying around bc i completely forgot to get speakers FKJGH they still work just fine #chat