#im extremely healthy dont worry about it.

[lurking-book-cat]

Eyyy do you like Alenoah? WELL SO DO I! AND HERES A LIST OF ALL THE ALENOAH FICS I RECOMMEND YOU READ! I SEARCHED THROUGH ALL OF THE ALENOAH TAG ON AO3 FOR THESE FICS!

Critique me - CaffeinationNation

“what he didn’t expect was to run into a familiar face in his creative writing course.

Alejandro Burromuerto.

He froze, nearly dropping his rented textbook. The familiar eel was sitting and chatting familiarly with one of the other students, not noticing Noah come in through the door.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20018014/chapters/47399563

Finished

Pretty poisonous - G4Y

“Noah and Owen sign up together for The Ridonculous Race, and this time, Noah was determined to get the money, no matter what obstacles he might face; be it through challenges, or other competitors. Upon arriving at the starting line, however, he was unpleasantly surprised to see a familiar tan face, with poisonous green eyes and a slimy exterior.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20410456/chapters/48415786

Incomplete - possible discontinued

1 mile to go - SerenaCypher

“Of all the rotten luck he’s had in his life, from getting voted out 3rd in Total Drama, to never winning a single reality show game, to his string of failed relationships and now this.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34298452/chapters/85336957?view_adult=true

Finished

Hung up - doom_delrey

“in which Noah plays his cards a bit better than in canon, and Alejandro gets curious.

A canon divergence fic from just before "I See London," where, against their better judgement, two teammates begin to collaborate, and things quickly spiral out of control.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33074005/chapters/82102480

Incomplete - possibly discontinued

Messy times at wawanakawa high - imhungry_3769015

“Welcome to Senior Year at Wawanakwa High!

Strange to think it's the final year for Principal McLean and Chef/Mr. Hatchet's (secretly) favorite class of students.

But, the antics of these diverse group of students are only ratcheting up from last year.

Settle in for a large mix of drama, action, mystery, emotion, politics, idiocy, romance, sex, comedy, and horror at the hands of these twenty five students.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50140651/chapters/126625663

Incomplete - on-going - slow updates

Lovers and fools - HenkePenke

“In trying to get each other eliminated, Heather and Alejandro both end up making deals with Noah. The aim? Make the other jealous to throw them off their game. Noah plays along, but secretly plans on using the new arrangements to his own advantage. Because really, their "feelings" are just for show, what could go wrong?

(I have yet to figure out how tagging works so they're going to update a little whenever I remember stuff, same thing with characters and relationships, my apologies)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53816746/chapters/136210486

Incomplete - on-going

Total drama: apology tour - KookyVonKoopa

“a special Apology Tour just for my bbg Noah-

But on a serious note:

Alejandro wins the million dollars, and gets called back a year later to participate in a new total drama season: Total Drama: Post Tour. He hesitates but has to accept it anyways, because it’s in the contract. Now, he has to face the wrath and anger of his previous teammates and enemies, along with a certain someone itching to go eel hunting.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54937930/chapters/139261738

Incomplete - on-going

Curl up like a pill-bug - honeyhoneypot

“The store around him is quiet, and the light from the rising sun streams through the window, casting warm, tangerine rays across the glass tabletop. It’s almost comforting, and for a brief, tiny moment, Noah feels a little bit at peace with himself.

That is, until a series of sharp, confident steps echo across the store, and Noah barely has time for his stomach to fill with dread before a voice – a smooth, eloquent, and familiar voice – fills his ears like salt water.

“Well, if it isn’t my dear Noah!” The voice speaks, and when Noah whips his head around, he's staring directly into the eyes of none other than Alejandro Burromuerto.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50295178/chapters/127055392

Incomplete - on-going

Look my way - CinnamonToes

“Noah and Alejandro are high school rivals who are about to enter college. As their rivalry calms down and they become friends Noah makes the sudden and horrifying realization that he's caught feeling for Alejandro.

He tries to continue his friendship with Alejandro but he wonders if he'll be able to ignore his feelings or if they'll ever be reciprocated. but it may just end up being too painful to keep up.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54576613/chapters/138287062

Incomplete - on-going

One step behind - eva107

“Everything changes when Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot is given the win in London. With the Amazon's loss causing Heather's departure, how will these new circumstances play out?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52815139/chapters/133587586

Incomplete - on-going

Dig A Mace Into His Chest And A Shotgun Into Mine - WriterQuil

“Noah has been selected for the Hunger Games after volunteering to take place for the boy contender and compete alongside his best friend, Gwen, to give her an advantage at winning. His original plan is to lead Gwen to victory and once it was just the two of them remaining to end his own life so she could claim the title of the victor... but even with Noah's smarts, this plan proves to be more difficult than originally speculated. And it's only going to be harder when the District One tribute, Alejandro Burromuerto has taken an odd liking to him.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51460918/chapters/130049539

Incomplete - on-going

✩ Lips were made to lie - Alenoah ✩ - Noahs_sarcasm

“A retelling of Total Drama: The Ridonculous Race where Alejandro takes the place of Owen.

Noah is pessimistic, cynical and struggling to keep up with incoming bills. After his Total Drama fame has died down, he has no choice but to compete around the world again.

Alejandro, the hispanic heart throb, has always lived in the shadows of his younger brother. After he finally snaps, he decides to take back the spotlight.

An unlikely reunion. A million dollars. A race around the world.

A love story.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54579649/chapters/138294886

Incomplete - on-going

Bittersweet love - alenoah_real

“Noah works at a coffee shop in a small town, and nothing intresting happens.

Well, except for reuniting with Alejandro: the guy who pushed him off a plane.

Things escalate from there.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50753539/chapters/128210098

Hiatus

The healing process of an ex-villain and a teenage genius - Nress

“All-Stars fic where Noah has graduated from being chris's assistant to work on the show and Alejandro doesn't come out of being trapped in a robot suit mentally or physically stable.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54026488/chapters/136769383

Incomplete - on-going

All-Stars and Assistants - Mpaigeu

“Total Drama's newest season premieres, featuring a cast of the best players to ever grace the hallowed grounds of Camp Wawanakwa!

For Noah, this means assisting Chris McLean once more, and confronting the past head-on after a year of ignoring, feeling, changing, and healing.

For Alejandro, it means a second chance at life, and freedom the network that hurt him in the first place. It also means physical pain and the onset of unwanted feelings in all aspects of his new, colorful, chaotic life.

For Heather, it means reuniting with the boy she loves, and learning to love even more, no matter who may try to keep her in the "queen of the villains" box she built for herself in her early teenage years.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54121849/chapters/137031790

Incomplete - on-going

You are my obsession - AyaWilliams

“Nothing in Alejandro's life brings him joy. Until Noah arrives at school that is. Noah makes him feel seen in a way no one else does. Alejandro is determined to win him over, but he wants it to go as smoothly as possible so he's going to have to deal with a few rivals for Noah affection.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52407217/chapters/132577594

Incomplete - on-going

Wrong, try again! - cloudyskiiees

“All is going well for Noah in World Tour up until London, where he's sure to get eliminated. Things get quickly turned on his head as he's murdered and sent right back to before the London challenge, where he gets to try again. And again. And again.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53567491/chapters/135593740

Incomplete - on-going

The red carpet - sirenscharm

“Noah gets invited to a bar since he and his friends are old enough, (18-19) and Total Drama has a new cast so he gets to live normally again.

He for sure isn’t gonna meet the OG cast again after this, or go back on that godforsaken show again, right?

(Before All Stars and Ridonculous Race.)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51363667/chapters/129791560

Incomplete - on-going - slow update

Face the Sun (and Fall) - Noah_bout_it

“The city of Wawanakwa is one with bad crime and worse secrets. The hero producers made the hero tower and started collecting superhumans when their powers manifested at the age of 10 to train them and help fight said crime- but it still runs rampant.

One vigilante is just doing his best to keep himself and the very few people he holds close to his heart alive. And maybe he just wants a bit of justice. Just a little bit.

--

In which I have created a totally normal superhero/vigilante/supervillain AU. The normalest ever. Totally.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53831002/chapters/136248061

Incomplete - on-going

Total Drama Kingdoms and why Noah hates royals - QuestionableLasagna

“...okay, what the fuck?

Noah can only stare in dazed bewilderment as a hand slowly emerges from one of his mirrors.

He was rudely awakened from his much deserved nap by an alarm from King Bossy that someone entered the confessional. Chris wants every single scrap of drama that this show could get and that means sending Noah tumbling out of his bed in the corner of the room to activate his surveillance.

He barely finished opening the damn portal before an amulet appeared in his face. And then came a fist, then an elbow, and then a shoulder. Before he knew it, a face managed to push through the rippling glass and another hand emerged to clasp tight onto Noah’s arm, the metal gauntlet digging into his skin.

Green eyes blink open and stare down at the half-awake wizard, those eyes curving into crescents as the man going through the mirror gives Noah a dazzling smile.

“Pleased to finally meet you great magician, I’m prince Alejandro of the Burromuerto Kingdom, at your service.”

——————

Total drama fantasy AU where Noah is the magical assistant to the worst fantasy reality entertainment show ever created while a certain prince keeps trying to get his attention.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53168932/chapters/134534620

Incomplete - on-going - slow update

The Alejandro Hate Club (Working Title) - Brick_bronze165

“Noah was eliminated in London. Alejandro won and, he was fine with that.

He should have been fine with that, until a couple of eliminated contestants invite him to join an alliance of sorts. An alliance to make Alejandro pay.

Noah doesn't care about revenge but, somehow he's volunteered to carry out the plan. Little does he know the plan will involve returning to the competition to face the very person he once called a teamate.

There's absolutely no way will blow up in his face.

-------

Basically, a Total Drama rewrite where Noah rejoins the competition instead of Blaineley-- with some additional support.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51484792/chapters/130113937

Incomplete - on-going

Problem and Solution - astrokyle

“Alejandro has been having difficulties sleeping. As in, he can't sleep unless Noah is near.

(And his family really sucks.)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53417923/chapters/135203125

Incomplete - on-going - slow update

Intertwined - circusclwn

“After season two of the reboot, MK finds herself wondering; Why were her parents on Total Drama?

After a heated argument with them, she wishes she could just know what and how they did, and why they didn't stop her from joining.

And so, she wakes up back in the distant year of 2005 with her younger brother Nicolás, when the third season of the show "Total Drama" was being filmed.

Will she, with the help of some familiar faces, discover what her dads are hiding from her, or will she perish after facing challenges that were much more dangerous than they ever were on the reboot?

Alenoah as MK's gay dads AU + Time Travel/Loop AU!”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53173714/chapters/134547484

Incomplete - on-going

Lethal attraction - saturnsanarchy

“Noah owes his good buddy Owen a favor, but he wouldn’t have done it if he’d known he had to tag along with him on a reality tv show at a summer camp. A last minute change to the script flips Noah’s brain, making him question things he wouldn’t before.

Alejandro joins this show to cause some drama and show everyone what a Burromeurto is capable of, but he ends up getting more than what he bargained for.

Or

A Total Drama Island rewrite where Alejandro and Sierra join the cast early that is basically Alenoah.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50065180/chapters/126421222

Incomplete - on-going - slow updates

World Tour if the Writers Weren’t COWARDS and Let it be Gay - Anonymous

“So I'm I not getting my book back?" Noah asks.

He wouldn't be surprised if the man tried holding it hostage in order to get an alliance or something.

Weirder things have happened on this show.

Alejandro just picks up the book from where it landed and politely hands it back to him, his fingers barely brushing Noah’s, and shoots him a blinding smile.

Noah just snatches the book and turns back around. He blatantly ignores the butterflies attacking his stomach right now. He already knew he was gay but that didn't mean he had to stoop as low as reality TV crushes.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50068276/chapters/126430036

Complete

Snap, crackle and pop - MaybeOphe

“Silly little concept AU wherein Alejandro uses his hypnosis abilities to keep Noah under his thumb post-Jamaica, all because everyone's favourite snarker couldn't keep his big mouth shut and had to play sceptic.

Somewhat inspired by To Reach New Heights by Creative_Creatures, though I admittedly haven't read more than a few chapters. The idea is neat though!”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53591404/chapters/135657136

Incomplete - on-going - slow update

Brewed to Love. - (After the Fall) . Alenoah. - dollison

“Noah works at a cafe, and Alejandro cannot get him out of his head. Scratch that. It could have been the perfect, standard romance. Meeting inside of a cafe, strangers to lovers.

This is what originally made the theme Brewed to Love come to.

A vision for this tunnel was constructed until disaster joined, destroying the ideal cafe love story. An apocalypse was the last thing anyone could have thought of. If they wanted to build up the relationship from the cafe, they would have to survive first.

Through radio silence.

Through each other.

Brewed to Love : After the Fall is semi-based off of situations in the movies A Quiet Place and Bird Box.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50942326/chapters/128698318

Incomplete - on-going

who watches over you - hoser

“See you later, Noah.”

As she picked up her suitcase, all he could do was stare at her retreating figure as she walked out their front door. Mary Kate’s hands were reaching out towards her mother, as he raised a hand to wave after her, saying one last thing to the empty air:

“Yeah, see you later..”

Being the father of a toddler at the age of twenty six wasn't in his plans, but then again being divorced wasn't either. Noah navigates parenthood as a single parent, while reconnecting with familiar faces along the way.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53253469/chapters/134761504

Incomplete - on-going

Noah's Extraordinary Playlist - cloudyskiiees

“Noah's life is okay. Not great, not terrible, average at best. His office job is a little less than ideal, working with idiot's all day, but at least it pays well. He's very content to continue slinking though life in the shadows, alive but not quite living. His plans however, are completely thwarted by an moron and a magical MRI machine. Being able to read people's feelings through giant musical numbers was not something he had ever planned on, especially when he learns his only friend is not the charming guy Noah thought he was.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52057501/chapters/131653354

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

The schemer - kaeborii

“As the new reality show is about to be announced, Chris McLean confesses to his assistant, Noah, that it's all a plan to lure the cast of Total Drama into another season. In order to keep things interesting, he asks him to play the role of antagonist, thinking it will be a simple task; Noah accepts.

Unfortunately, this will lead him into trouble he can't avoid, along with new friends, enemies and maybe something else.

⤷ AU where Noah takes the competition seriously and becomes the villain he deserved to be.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50988766/chapters/128820349

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

Red handed - MaxxAndCheese

“Noah stumbled a bit before hearing mumbling from behind the corner. “Alejandro-“ he was cut off by the sound of crunching. He turned the corner to see Alejandro’s boot pressed against some poor guy’s head. He watched as Alejandro kept kicking his head until the guy stopped moving. Blood was pulling around him and Alejandro groaned. Noah quickly looked away, pressing himself against the wall with his hand over his mouth.

“What a worthless target.” Noah could hear the venom in his voice.

“José could have done better…”

Assassin au”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50485303/chapters/127548010

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

Flips and turns - Spicysodapop

“The camera switched to frame of the Reality TV Pros. Noah sat down, visibly disturbed, with his arms crossed.

“An eel dipped in grease.” Noah recited, talking to the camera.

Owen, beside him, raised both eyebrows and widened his eyes in reply.

// AU in which it's Alejandro and José in the Ridonculous Race instead of Kitty and Emma,”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53122495/chapters/134411530

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day - jasmine_sea

“Over two years after the disastrous ending of Total Drama World Tour, Noah and Alejandro cross paths at the University of Toronto.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50707366/chapters/128093755

Incomplete - slow updates

Unwithering - astrokyle

“ (noah): how the hell did you even send it to me in the first place?

(alejandro): Um

(alejandro): I met someone a couple days ago, and they put their number in as “little bitch”

(noah): ??

(noah): and what did you put my name as?

(alejandro): little shit.

(noah): are you serious?

(alejandro): fitting, isnt it?

-

In which Noah receives a text from Alejandro on a random Monday afternoon and it slowly becomes a normal occurrence.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49151875/chapters/124013026

Incomplete - on-going

Uprooted - niamhlovesu

“IN PROGRESS STORY] this is basically tdwt except justin and katie are added!! (+teams are shuffled a lot).. this is alenoah because alenoah supremacy! my chapters should be around 2-5k words each (yes the first one is short because its a prelude don't judge LOL)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52530781/chapters/132882574

Incomplete - possibly discontinued

Collateral - astrokyle

“Noah ends up handcuffed to Alejandro. It’s stellar.

A missing reward challenge from World Tour.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49382899/chapters/124620064

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

World weary - Mpaigeu

“Instead of getting voted off during I See London, Noah miraculously stays in the competition for one million dollars. Less miraculously, he's stuck on a plane with someone he just called an eel. Someone who is stupidly attractive, and even more cunning.

Throughout messy breakups, nasty butterflies in one's chest, and insane challenges cooked up by one psychopathic Chris McLean, Noah vies to keep his sanity and feelings in check as he makes unlikely relationships with his fellow competition.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50810527/chapters/128358712

Complete

high off vertigo (when you're close) - lonleybrachiobrute (triceratroops)

“all goes to according to plan.. (ft. everything going wrong, eels & bookworms, and questionable father figures)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51012802/chapters/128883433

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus - please update

Kiss me under the stars - cupidscrossbows

“Noah has been living life about as well as a micro-celebrity known for kissing a dude on international television can live. He has a good job- working for the devil himself, Chris McLean.

He doesn't expect to have to go onto another season, but considering he was “fired” for this show, he might as well try to win it.

… Does that new guy seem fake to anyone else?

OR

Another assistant Noah Alenoah with fatherly figure Chris McLean fanfic... With some fun little surprises thrown in”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52625191/chapters/133113775

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

This Killing Feeling - astron_nommeeerrrsss

“Everything had been going normal in his life until a new student came to their school.

One year later, his friends leave him alone at lunch.

A certain someone comes up and talks to him.

Things escalate from there.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49483924/chapters/124887586

Incomplete - possibly on hiatus

Alone at Home - WriterQuil

“Eight year olds Alejandro and Noah's parents were the closest of friends but Noah and Alejandro couldn't hate each other more. Despite their children's evident rivalry, Noah's parents make the arrangement to go on their annual trip to Paris but this time invites Alejandro's family to tag along with them. Their plan to have a fun family trip to form a relationship between Alejandro and Noah goes awry when in their initial lateness and the flurry of the morning, they accidentally leave Alejandro and Noah behind. Unfortunately for the two boys, things are about to get a lot worse than being stuck home alone with your primary school rival, because two burglars have their eyes on Noah's house…”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50212141/chapters/126816424

Complete

crash (TOTAL DRAMA ALL STARS REWRITE) - niamhlovesu

“BASICALLY total drama all stars but I removed sam and lindsay and added Tyler, Noah, Brick and Anne Maria! focused around alejandro and noah (yes im keeping Mal in argue with the wall! he's just not as... mal-,y?)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51388036/chapters/132345118

Discontinued

Sweet-Tooth - sharkish

“Despite sugar’s addictive tendencies, you always go for more.

The same sugar that already got Bridgette and Lindsay addicted.

The same sugar that would get Noah addicted too, eventually.

He just had to wait.

OR, A rewrite of Total Drama World Tour, starting from the beginning - literally.

It is Alejandro and Noah centric, but the focus changes from character to character each chapter.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51799969/chapters/130960156

Possibly discontinued

Noah Sterecra and the All-Stars - vampicie

“Alejandro Burromuerto is the leader of the band “The All-Stars” that consists of him, his two best friends Courtney and Heather, and Courtney’s crush and friend Gwen. They all hope to become a famous, worldwide known band one day but for now they play small gigs at clubs downtown.

Noah Sterecra is a solo singer who’s making it big in the music industry. With his mesmerizing voice and beautifully thought out lyrics, it’s hard not to love his songs. He wished he could say the same about people loving him.

When these two music artists collide, it seems like their success is written in the stars. However, they’ll soon find out that even the brightest stars of all die someday.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50698963/chapters/128072449

Possibly discontinued

With a Little Help from My Friends - Cinna (Cinnamas) - Cinnamas

“TDWT retelling from after the 'Eye see London'

In an unexpected twist of fate, Noah is the one who stumbles upon Duncan and Gwen's secret rendezvous in the confessional. He decides to tell Courtney, feeling that she deserves to know the truth about her boyfriend and best friend. Of course he couldn't predict how doing so would dramatically, shift the course of the show and lead to unexpected alliances, rivalries, and romance?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49478542/chapters/124873768

Complete

Two eels don't make a right - orphan_account

“Being Chris’ personal assistant had its ups and downs. The pay was nice, but then again he was also Chris’ personal assistant."

Noah didn't think he would ever have to participate in another season ever again. That is, until Chris turns to him as a last resort and Noah can not say no to a million dollars. After all, he had gotten much farther in world tour, he just needed to keep alejandro at a distance. oh... and hello Jose-

(Name subject to change)”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50298067/chapters/127063231

Possibly discontinued

masterminded - -em- (unfortunatelyem)

“I See London" takes a different turn when Owen is caught at the beginning instead of Alejandro. Noah is forced to be in a close proximity to Alejandro, who knows what might happen. He won't be called an eel, that's for sure.

Blainerific is replaced by a new competitor.

Courtney gains a new friend and ally.

Unexpected betrayal? Who sees who kissing?

All will be revealed (unless i change my mind *cue maniacal laughter*)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51093331/chapters/129089329

Discontinued

A way out - Brick_bronze165

“Noah knows he's going home, everyone heard him call Alejandro an eel. He also knows that after the day he's had he just want's to be alone until the parachute is put in his hands.

Life seems to have other plans for him when he find himself trapped in the confessional with the one guy he hates most.

What could possibly go wrong?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50595598/chapters/127810819

Complete

Total Drama: Halloween Edition - Brick_bronze165

“To celebrate the spooky season Chris decides to host a special episode of World Tour involving costumes, scavenger hunts, and forced bonding.

What could go wrong, especially when he has a couple of tricks up his sleeve in the form of a giant run down mansion and, acess to Hollywood level makeup.

A lot, the answer is a lot.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50744026/chapters/128186755

Complete

Total Drama: Reloaded! - Nightinggale (orphan_account)

“Alejandro and Noah are dragged into another season of Total Drama, via contract, hijinks insue as they are unwillingly teamed up. Who will be the first eliminated? Who will be the Finalists? Who knows? Me, I know 😈”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49798216/chapters/125704957

On hiatus

Reward - alixxao3

“What if episode 13 had been a reward challenge, and Noah remained in the game?

-

A rocky and originally false alliance between Alejandro and Noah after episode 13 creates feelings between the two, and they come to find they are more similar than they realize.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50473489/chapters/127521826

Possibly discontinued

A Little Miscommunication Goes A Long Way - Strawberry_Diamond

“It's been a year since Total Drama: World Tour and Noah hasn't talked to anyone, Owen decides to host a reunion and invites everyone from the cast. Noah accepts, but not without a lot of emotional turmoil. How will he face the people he went through the hellish show with after ignoring them for a year? Surely they don't want to see him right?

Or

Noah leaves for a year and just shows up one day, various people have varying reactions”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50424364/chapters/127403752

Possibly discontinued

An Insulting Indifference - drowzeee

“After three years of radio silence following the end of Total Drama World Tour, Noah reaches out to Alejandro Burromuerto.

Some say he should resent the guy, while others insist there was something between them that could have been genuine friendship.

Noah doesn't have a strong opinion either way.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48732487/chapters/122930905

Incomplete - slowww update - please update you only got one chapter left

The return - OhemGee132432

“Chris has rounded up many past favourites for another creative rodeo of bullying teenagers!”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50045260/chapters/126365812

Possibly discontinued

Fashionably late - Brick_bronze165

“Noah is tired, tired of losing every reality show he's ever starred in. Sure there was Total Drama but, ever since World Tour there were others. He's ashamed to admit how desperate he is for the tabloid fame Total Drama promised him. He feels stuck.

Then by pure chance he meets Alejandro on the set of his latest show, a fashion show none the less.

Only Alejandro isn't the same.

It isn't like Noah cares.

Afterall he's an eel, an eel who's finally making him realize how screwed up his life has become.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50515144/chapters/127616335

Complete

The personals - SuperSunGunner

“Noah has been Chris’s Personal Assistant for over a year now—and he knows he’s damn good at his job. But when Chris gets punched in the face at some random bar in Colorado, Chris goes behind his back and hires none other than Alejandro Burromuerto to be his Personal Bodyguard. Which now means that the guy is going to be LIVING with them for the time being.

Yet, when a VERY much expected rivalry grows between the two of them, they’ll do anything to get the other fired first.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49938223/chapters/126077497

Complete

So sick of you - Brick_bronze165

“Noah's determined to make it further than last time, the first season was a fluke. He has everything in place until bad luck strikes and he falls ill with a cold.

What could possibly go wrong? Especially when Alejandro decides to make it his mission to take care of him.

This won't be the thing to take him out of the running, not if he can help it.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49583008/chapters/125141965

Complete

I See London in Your Eyes - Brick_bronze165

“Everything was going along as planned until the plane began to take a dive into the river Thames and delay the competiton.

Noah is more than annoyed but, Alejandro sees it as an oppurtunity to finally figure out a way to eliminate Noah for good.

Only things don't go as planned but, when do they ever? Alejandro can adapt- if only the annoying feelings would go away.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49193698/chapters/124126558

Complete

A New Rolling of the Dice - Erebis_jams

“Chris calls everyone back for a fourth season of Total Drama (and because they're unfortunately legally obligated to, they come), but things are a bit different this time around.

What follows is a high stakes competition full of unexpected friendships, romance (except don't tell them that as they insist on being difficult), scheming, rather brutal betrayals, questionable ethical practices, and several questions yet to be answered.

Like who the fuck gave Chris McLean access to virtual reality (the sci-fi kind, like going inside of video games kind. C'mon this universe already works on cartoon logic I think it's fair) and thought it would end well?”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35873965/chapters/89449819

Discontinued

The other side - WeirdNCrazy

“So what do you get a Host with too much money plus firing too many interns that he is short-staffed for his World Tour? Well, that equals him keeping his newest assistant Noah Sterecra on board, of course, he is oddly efficient and knows the ropes around enough to not get killed.

Why is Noah putting up with the host in devil skin bullshit? The Pay. He would have left long ago if it wasn’t for that nice check that rolls into his bank account and for that he can bullshit his way through this god awful show and boss. He supposes it helps that his boyfriend got roped into this, at least he doesn’t have to suffer alone.

He may have to wrestle with animals, the contestants, staff, and host, but at least it’s gonna be hilarious since he’s on the other side of it all.

Assistant Noah!”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42822345/chapters/107575602

Complete

Inescapable - fluidfox

“You’re… Noah, right? What was it called… Total Drama!”

Yeah, Noah loved being reminded of his time spent in a waking nightmare filled with everything from bed bugs to food poisoning to OSHA violations to threats of death and frequent near-fatal experiences. “Yep.”

“Man, that show looked nuts. Sorry you went through all that.”

“Funny, most people tell me they’re jealous.”

“Nah, I’ve seen enough of that show to know that some of those stunts the host pulled weren’t fake. It must’ve been awful. But hey, you got through it!”

“Physically speaking, yes.”

He gave him a sympathetic smile before grabbing the smoothies. “Have a nice day, man!” The bell chimed as he left the building.

“I doubt it.”

——

It seems like no matter what Noah did, Total Drama and the things that came with it were always going to come back to haunt him, including a certain Spanish man and news of a new season.

Or: Noah is a student working at a smoothie shop, and shit starts getting weird when Alejandro shows up.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43340578/chapters/108946390

Complete

Slippery slopes - courtney-deserved-better (persephones_garden)

“After his suspicions surrounding Alejandro have been confirmed, Noah is determined not to let his two-faced teammate win without a good fight. He may not be the strongest competitor, but he's gotten this far already.

Alejandro expects his life to get easier with Heather's departure, not made even more difficult by Noah's intelligence and biting wit. He may have incorrectly presumed them to be friends, but he's determined not to underestimate his competition again.

Of course, when it comes to Total Drama, nobody can predict the chaos to come.

An Alejandro x Noah World Tour Rewrite. Starts during I See London…”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32170684/chapters/79711624

Complete

The Sweet to my Bitter, the Sugar to my Coffee - Thicc_eyebrows

“Noah's a bitter person and he only gets more bitter when Owen suggests that the duo host a Total Drama reunion. He's less than thrilled about the idea but decides to play along for the sake of his friend. Noah dreads seeing someone again at the reunion and with his dumb luck, ends up alone with a certain slimy eel and his sugary words due to his friends' schemes.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32932396/chapters/81732652

Complete

Keep your enemies close - AyaWilliams

“During the ripper challenge Noah remembers something that prevents him from badmouthing Alejandro. This means different things for different people.

For Noah it means an opportunity to get further in the game

For Alejandro it means a new alliance partner.

For Heather it means a second rival.

For Gwen it means stopping a huge mistake.

And for the audience it means tons of drama.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32908795/chapters/81670897

Complete

Willows and Serpents - CrystalRoseWrites

“An "appealing" thing about working at Total Powers is being able to put on a mask, metaphorical and literally. Noah was never able to grasp why someone would bother going through such trouble. The answer still eludes him as he stares at Prometheus. Looking at the sad little man, he can't understand why one would try so hard to be someone you're not.

He doesn't think he ever will.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37836859/chapters/94479220

Discontinued

Only these thorns could be so deadly - Confused_maple

“What could be worse than senior year? Devolving hanahaki disease and not knowing who you’re crushing on during senior year.

This is the case for Alejandro, throwing all assumptions he was straight out the door and trying to find the courage to confess to Noah, the pretty boy he talks to in study hall, before the flowers in his lungs take him away.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33079642/chapters/82117168

Discontinued

#shout out to AyaWilliams and Brick_bronze165 for posting so many alenoah fics #love u guys #shout out to courtney-deserved-better (persephones_garden) for pretty much being the backbone of Alenoah fics. #Alenoah #td alejandro #alejandro burromuerto #noah total drama #total drama #total drama world tour #im so obsessed with them guys #love them so much #im extremely healthy dont worry about it. #did i add some of thesw fics to intimidate some arthors into updating? maybe. #tired. help #spam kudos at them maybe they will notice

[strwbrymlkshake]

I dont really have deranged, losing my mind and sense of self obsession moments any more but I still enjoy putting Silly Little Mental Illness Posts on my blog for god knows why

#mine #🎸 #he is so niceys to me i dont even have to chase after him day after day or anything #or even worry about him being mad at me or leaving me. i feel like so unnervingly comfortable. my brain doesnt have any more reasons #TO be memtally ill in this regard so?!? the insane part of my brain that was on fire is now an extinguished lukewarm pool. im so confused #i still like to rb mentally ill posts and memes etc because i relate(?) to them and they help me come to terms with my insanity #in my healthy relationship arc...? ayo? i still have my problems but relationship wise im pretty chill #i kept being super paranoid he was gonna hate me for Whatever but as time has passed hes shown me he is actually. a good nice guy #i still have killing and violence moments but im like microdosing on them and they are barely extreme at all #he even comforted me through mood swings he is so awesome and cool. and i like him. and he listens to me talk about anything i want #AND HE RESPONDS IN DECENT TIMEFRAMES like he actually cares what i have to say im <3 yeah. and he says he loves me every night b4 bed #🥲 he. me when the. literally he is so. HE CARES i dont have to waste all my energy begging him to show a sliver of interest in me #he isnt embarrassed to date me he talks about me to his friends auauauaua he isnt weird or gross or inappropriate #im so sleepy tired i cannot gush about him any longer no matter how much i may want to

[oriax]

how many days do i think i can keep up a routine. of anything.

#i get up at 6:30-7 every day for kismet #i can cook an egg while shes out #1 egg on toast w juice. thats a small and reasonable breakfast #i dont like heat so walks have been iffy #but i could do short walks every day. esp as it cools. my neighborhood is nice #the exercise isnt even my worry. itll happen as it happens #the thing is gonna be eating on a schedule #im SO BAD about regular meals #and while i actually prefer 4 small healthy meals across the day #my regular life doesnt allow for it. for several reasons. money. cooking space. storing food. #but i can for sure start making breakfast when i let kismet out #i weigh too much and i always have and ive never been able to lose weight #and it bothers me less than it used to but not by much #if i thought anorexia would lose the weight before it fucked me up? in a heartbeat #but i dont want to rubberband my weight and surgery is extreme (not unwanted. just extreme) #so i have to hold the vague idea that small changes will help bc im not in a place to do big ones

[bumblinv]

Hi! Are your requests open? If they are I'm just gonna leave this here, Neteyam, Ao'nung, Lo'ak (sperate) x OmaticayaGnReader who is sick, like flu for the na'vi or something like that, they have a fever and the chills and everything could it also be fluffy and absolutely adorable

--- personal doctors ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

neteyam, ao'nung, rotxo (seperated) x gn!metkayina!reader

you catch a cold, its time for your lover to take care of you

a/n ; im not good at writing lo’ak, so i bring you rotxo instead! i hope you dont mind<3

: ̗̀➛ neteyam

realizes your sickness even before you did

when you first sneeze or cough, his mind goes straight to the day before, recalling any peculiar food you've had

neteyam would notices too, when you pause between chores to massage your forehead

he will take over cleaning. making sure every corner is clean so you won't sneeze from the dust. he also makes sure you stay hydrated and even whips you up nutritious meals until your condition got better. usually, the fever never got up to you

but when it does, he goes in full momma mode

this man grows with 3 younger siblings, caring for someone is natural for him. he would stay by your side, whispering your name every few hours to wake you up, so he could feed and help you drink

neteyam might not be the best healer, like her sister, but he can make certain herb drinks

makes you ginger tea regularly to warm up your shivering body

you tend to get all sort of nightmares from your sickness, but dont worry, you’re waking up to neteyam since he’s cuddling you all night long. he will run his slender fingers through your hair, whispering comforting words to your ear

“everything’s okay, dear. i’m here” 

we all need neteyam in our lives:(

_

: ̗̀➛ ao'ung

acts like he doesn’t care, but the moment your temperature starts to rise, he brings his mother straight to you

the tsahik would probably do nothing. she tell him to go ask kiri for some herb tea, and to make sure you drink and eat well, since fevers could heal by itself

but mans stressed

would refuse to let you lift a single muscle. he will be the one helping you change, wipe your face to keep you fresh, feeding you

since he’s not the best cook, he would ask tsireya to make you soups, wich she happily does. she makes great food, but your tongue tastes sour and your appetite is no where to be found

so ao'nung scolds you

“quit acting like a baby and please, just eat” 

you know ao’nung. none of his scolding are anger, he’s just extremely worried.

watching you go to sleep after being scolded makes him feel like a villain. he would join you in bed and whispers an apology. gently bringing you closer to his chest as the both of you fall asleep

remember he's a worrier? it makes him act too much like a mom. he will insist on taking care of you, even when you're feeling better. will only stop until he's sure you're 100% healthy

ao'nung is a big softie

_

: ̗̀➛ rotxo 

most clueless compared to the other 2

pls dont be mad, its not his fault

something tells me he’s an only child, a one that rarely got sick too, so he doesn’t know anything about caring for ill people

rotxo might be confused, but he’s not an idiot

the moment he touches your forehead and realizes you're scorching hot, rotxo instinctively wraps a fluffy blanket around you. the man will make you drink a lot of water, and went off running to the sullys

“what the fuck?” 

“sorry lo'ak! its an emergency!”

he got home with omaticayan food wraps in hand. you’re too sick to say anything, so when he lifts your head to feed you, you don’t protest

the one thing that scares you the most is that his jokes completely disappears

all his stupid jokes, gone.

not in a bad way, this man is just so dedicated on you that he stops joking around. he cannot stand that you're feeling all sick and uncomfortable and wants you back to your healthy self

this man is so serious, even when he tried feeding you raw cloves of garlic

one time, he heard kiri saying that garlics are ‘good for boosting the immune system’ 

he’s not wrong😭😭😭

but kiri hits him on the head once she founds out

instead of feeding you raw garlic, she gives you a mix of aged garlic and honey as medicine such an asian mom move

he feels bad afterwards, would kiss your entire face despite your protest

the next day, you wake up feeling fresh. but your lover boys voice got so hoarse from sore throat and complains about his sore limbs

yes, he got your fever and yes, he never regret kissing you, even when you're sick

#avatar #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam x reader #aonung #aonung x reader #rotxo #rotxo x reader #sick reader

[bibberbang]

i dont reblog those posts about how hard it is to have moralizing ocd in online spaces, even though i deeply resonate with them. ironically, i can only talk to 2 people about my ocd, because one of my obsessions is that other people will assume im using my mental health as a shield against criticism if i talk about it. therefore, if i talk about my ocd in any circumstance, my brain believes that i'm already doing something immoral

basically, most of my obsessions resolve around people assuming bad faith of me or that i'm somehow secretly an irredeemably bad person, no matter how hard i try to be good. i am a bad person if i dont reblog posts about serious topics, spend every waking moment thinking about extremely serious topics, or make any social mistakes whatsoever (which is scary because i'm also autistic). i believe that i am irredeemable if i make a small mistake, and i often think all my friends are waiting for me to make a mistake so that they can attack me, and that my life will be ruined if i fuck up. im constantly scanning all my interests (and people i know) for the tiniest imperfections (far beyond healthy amounts of criticism in your interests) out of fear that liking anything or anyone makes me a horrible person. if you dont take a side on this lgbt label discourse, then youre a bigot! im ALWAYS mentally preparing responses and apologies to totally theoretical situations of people being upset with me. i have intrusive thoughts about doing the immoral things that scare me most.

the problem is, *talking about* any of these thoughts invites people who will actually bad faith me. "if youre so worried about this stuff, then you must have something to hide! you just want to avoid accountability!" they make your obsession a reality by accusing you of the exact thing you fear most. none of these thoughts are reasonable or realistic, and i know that. i know that i'm mentally ill. i know logically that i'm as good a person as anyone else. when i actually do make a mistake, i stay level-headed and apologize, acknowledge what i did wrong, and change my behavior

but there is a large part of me that does not want to heal from my ocd, because i believe constant self-monitoring and self-critique is the only thing preventing me from becoming a horrible person

there is nothing i want more in this world than to be a good altruistic human being who is capable of growth, but spending weeks trapped in thought loops analyzing all my behaviors for the smallest signs of a mistake will not help me be a better person. it makes me a worse friend. it drains my energy so that i dont have the mental capacity to actually spend time being kind to others. i reread this post many times while writing it to make sure i didnt accidentally write 6 different slurs. but i can't figure out how to heal. what the fuck do i do about this

this is incredibly hard for me to write about. i'm fighting the urge to delete this post as you read it. i cant stress how debilitating this is for me, it is the biggest hurdle in my life and it sucks away days worth of my time and energy. i will become trapped in thought-loops THE SECOND im not kept sufficiently busy and stimulated by tv/music/my bf/being out of the house somewhere/etc. so much of my life is wasted wanting to be good, that i dont get a chance to actually live the life of a good person

i really hope this post resonates with someone. ive only met a few other people who have this particular kind of ocd, and its extremely isolating. but i want to try to heal from it, and i know the first step to healing is talking about it

#have you ever noticed how i'll add addendums in the tags of my posts where i'll clarify EXACTLY what the post was about? #i do that bc of my obsession that some1 will screenshot something i say out of context and make me look horrible #this is not just a Go Outside problem btw. i know a lot of the examples i gave were internet related #but ive had ocd since i was a child. the other half of my symptoms are health related #like obsessions about emetophobia. or food being contaminated or making me sick. or other physical illness #ppl assume ocd is just washing your hands and not wanting to be touched. naur. i wash my hands a normal amount and i love being touched #so i didnt believe i could have ocd for a long time cuz i didnt fit the stereotype. even though it was incredibly obvious and debilitating #amygdalae #ocd #actually ocd

[sygol]

Im the most "normal" sanest person i know, im not depressed, i dont have anxiety, all the problems i have are either extremely temporary or so out of my control i cant even worry about them, but a lot of people tell me im crazy. My friends, a therapist once (jokingly), my family they all said at some point that im crazy, for one reason or another. I dont know what makes a person crazy but i dont think im crazy.

what is labeled and categorized as "crazy", or "retarded", or "psychotic", or "antisocial", etc, and so on is an ethnosemantic, meaning it is rooted in the "norm" or expectation of a culture and locality. when people call you these things it says more about their perception and assumptions of sociality or function than it does of you, there is no empiricalism or fundamental truth to these words, you're probably just a bit different than the others around you in the way you experience/percieve/view the world. the connotation that things like "crazy" = "bad" is due to the way we live in a society that values conformity and appealing to the perception of "normalcy", i think that all of these things are "stupid" and hold little importance. i think that it is much more important that we communicate clearly and honestly with eachother as people, and seek to live in harmony and happiness despite the myriad of differences we may or may not have with eachother. you can be whatever you want to be and i suggest that instead of worrying about if you are "crazy" or "normal", you instead focus on being healthy and fulfilled while you explore the world and the connections you may hold with others or to yourself within it ^w^

#asks

[unicornsaures]

hi doli this is a yap pass you know the drill :333

i figure everybody needs one every once in a while

- ash

YEAH OKAY WOOHOOOO I LOVE YAP PASSES

we are up thinking about dally. again. as always. most specifically sh dally TRUTH. god i love 'taboo' hcs...but also dally and johnny's entire dynamic as it is so honestly ill start with that first because looordddd do i have THOUGHTS.

tw// sh and suicide!! im yapping about dally be warned

okay so obviously we know johnny is 'obsessive,' but i think some people forget that if we take into account what the fuck happrned, dally is equally - if not more - obsessive as johnny is. I think they both just demonstrate it differently than each other. Johnny shows it in a more straightforward, 'worshipping,' way, but dally demonstrates it in a more discreet way I guess? Its discreet until the end at least, i mean he literally killed himself for johnny🤷‍♀️

what i find interesting about their dynamic though is that it in no way could be healthy. that is mutual obsession at its FINEST and it can. NOT. end well. One dies, the other dies. One leaves, the other is ruined, if not both of them ruined. Problem with this is one of them is bound to die in every universe. Usually, if any were to die first, it would be Dally. Hell, he was close to snapping by the time johnny died anyway, i dont think he wouldve lasted long even if johnny lived. Bit the problem with this is thag if dally died first, johnny would probably feel like an empty shell of a person if you get what i mean? Like, Dally was one of the things Jonny loved, but he loved him the hardest. Johnny loved ponyboy, but in a different way than he loved Dally. And im not just talking about the fhance of romantic love either. No, im talking about idolization and putting each other on a pedestal. For johnny, this pedestal isnt fragile, it would take a lot to break. But i think for dally, hes holding johnny higher than the rest, yeah, but it doesnt take much for that pedestal to crumble.

So, back to what i said earlier, dally was one of the things johnny loved, but johnny was the only thing dally loved. Recipe for disaster. Johnny loved him and idolized him, dally thought of him as a purpose to keep going. I mean, Dally really didnt know how to handle his emotions at all and he saw himself as someone who had to protect johnny. (i know thats a big reason on why he reacted the way he did.) He thought he failed and whatnot, but that also doesnt excuse the fact they blatantly favored each other over most of the gang(exception being ponyboy, but even then i dont think johnny favored either.)

In short, dally was a mess who couldnt handle emotions and instead of figuring out his own brain and traumas, decided to take to johnny and do his best to protect him because hes like, the one person who doesnt hold a grudge against Dallas. I have hcs and whatnot about why he got drawn to johnny(like he saw himself in the kid, even if he was only a year older, but that aint canon so🤷‍♀️.)

Their dynamic fucks me up so hard and in tired of pretending they would be healthy. they wouldnt!! they would be HORRIBLE for each other!!! they would feed into each others obsession, probably get extremely jealous over each other, and they would be completely unaware about how bad they are together. Yes, they are portrayed as a duo, but dallys way of dealing with his struggles is ignoring them til he snaps. Johnnys way of dealing with his is also ignoring them until he snaps.

They both showed that they at least had suicidal thoughts and again, if someone ended up killing themself, it would br a punch to the gut for the other. This is IGNORING the constant worrying that would be going on that the other is in danger, the other may have killed themself, the other hates them, etc etc. They both demonstrated suicidal thoughts. they both demonstrates obsessive behavior. put those two togetehr and youre getting the worst of both worlds. Im not even gonna get into what woukd happen if someone DID end up killing themself because thag would be a violent circle of self hatred and guilt for whoever lived if not an immediate death. For johnny i think he would try and live on but constantly blame himself that it was his fault he died, or he would instantly follow after him. With dally, he would get mad. oh he would br a ball of anger and hate and he would snap much like he did in the movie, if not worse. I think hr would also blame himself for the reasoning AND the fact that he wasnt enough for johnny, difference being he would probably end up dying an hour after he got the news.

Alrighty, time for sh dally truth now because this man is the embodiment of self destruction and i think there is no way he wouldnt have at least TRIED it. This is partly me projecting my own problems onto characters but also i genuinely think its in his character to actually do it, yknow? Part of me thinks he would do it to seem tough, that he can handle pain and he would ise that as an excuse to keep going cause no ones stopping him. The other part of my brain is saying that he would do it as a genuine coping mechanism or the desire to feel pain.

From firsthand experience im saying..neither! Im seeing it as a way for him to get an adrenaline rush, if not for a little bit of pain/'punishment.' Most of his reckless behavior is, from what i see, the result of getting bored. He sees normal living and to him its boring. He wants to shake shit up and start problems and rven then, he gets bored of that too. Eventually, he's bound to run out of things to give him that rush of adrenaline anymore and yk. sh is just there. its new, it lets him get an 'adrenaline rush' for the time being and then he'll stop. Then he does it again, then he stops, and its a cycle until surprise surprise, it turns into a comfort more than anything!

Instead of getting an adrenaline rush for a little, it calms him down and he realizes he likes that WAY more. add in his already self destructive nature i doubt he'd see much wrong with it, too. Just as a thing he does to 'calm down.' I dont even think hed have a 'main form.' Cvtting, burning, whatever, i dont think hed use one more than the other. Whatever he can get his hands on in that moment is fair game.

I could go more into the psych of it all if i wanted but im summing it up to a subconscious need to feel pain accompanied by an addiction and a false sense of euphoria. I also have a lot of ideas about the gang finding out and either being extremely concerned or chalking jt up to 'yeah, thats dally.' because they know they wouldnt be able to do jack shit to stop him. so yeah. youre welcome for the yap

#dolirants #asks #lordy im so sorry for this this is long asf AHAHDBBF #tw long post #dally<3 #jally<3 #my hcs

[violentviolette]

Do you have any advice for approaching violent and homicidal urges or just general anger with a therapist that's a little. Gentle? Anger is a very large portion of my problems, and I'm just concerned that my therapist will be more freaked out than she already is by me.

i think everything is in how u phrase it. im gonna be very real, a lot of traumatized ppl (myself included when i was younger so no judgement) tend to phrase what we say in the worst most extreme and shocking manner possible. some of that is intentional, because getting negative reactions from ppl and making them uncomfortable gives us a feeling of power and control over other ppls emotions. and sometimes its unintentional, because weve been conditioned to seek out negative reinforcement or have learned that our feelings are not taken seriously unless we explain them in the extreme

but either way it does mean that when ur trying to avoid a negative reaction it can be difficult to get those feelings across. but its actually pretty easy when u stop and give it some more thought. a good idea if u have trouble doing that on they fly would be to write down what u want to say and bring it in to read it/consult it while talking

a good place to start is to break the feeling down to its base parts and describe more of how ur experiencing it. this helps to avoid the initial emotional knee jerk ur therapist might have. so instead of being like "i have homicidal urges and fantasize about killing my family" something more like "im really struggling with my anger, when things happen, my first reaction is to get angry and then i cant move past that feeling to think clearly"

also always avoid actionable statements. don't say things like "i want to shoot my classmates" or "when someone talks i just want to take a brick to their face" those can get u in trouble but they're also just more likely to get a negative reaction because now ur therapist has to choose between u and the people they think u might harm. dont put them in a situation where they would have to even hypothetically choose ur feelings over someone elses safety cause thats when things get sticky. it puts them at odds with u and makes things go from simply "helping u" to now "protecting other ppl" a good quick trick for this is to just replace ppl with objects. instead of "i want to punch them" using "i want to punch something" or instead of "i want to kill them" using "i want to break things" if u absolutely must talk about ur urges being directed at living objects, its a good idea to qualify that u know thats wrong and lie that its not what u "really" want to do. things like "but i know thats not okay" "i know thats not healthy" "thats not how i want to react" "i want to find a different way to handle that feeling"

also using more broad language that is again centered on urself can be more productive. describe what the sensation physically feels like for u to experience as opposed to what it makes u want to do "when ppl talk to me at the wrong times, it feels like my skin is on fire and i get very antsy, it becomes hard to focus on anything else except how angry its making me" or "sometimes i get very restless, it feels like my body is buzzing and i cant get that to stop until i break or hit something, but i know thats not a good solution"

this will again help to keep ur therapist focused on helping to relieve ur feelings rather than protect others from potential violence. u stay the center of the conversation and they can focus on addressing the individual parts of ur feelings instead of being worried about how ur actions are affecting others

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #cluster b #cluster b personality disorder #aspd safe #aspd tag #actually cluster b #i hope that was helpful and lemme know if u have any more questions

[k-ru-h]

anyways fuck it im explaining the whole song now

whats important to remember is that serbia is nowhere near the level of development that western europe is on. five centuries under the ottoman empire followed almost immediately by two world wars left the country (and the whole balkan region) falling apart. corrupt politicians, ridicilous amounts of gang violence, extreme religious views, and overall shitty life standards created a horrible little hell hole. the song is, in essence, about how shitty the healthcare system here is and how artists cant get insurance under almost any circumstances.

the first line is in reverse, it means "a sick mind in a healthy body".

the beginning is very clearly about toxic beauty culture, how she only views an enlarged spleen as something ugly, not a serious medical problem. she talks about meghan markles beauty routine, which makes sense — people here tend to look up to western celebrities even more than western people themselves, seeing the promises of the american dream and wanting that for themselves. i repeat, living here is fucking miserable and people really want to pretend they live the "glamorous" american life. also, illness is almost taboo here, with our own cultural views on work making us ashamed to admit we need medical help. honestly, asking for help at all is a massive taboo. as long as you can cover it up, as long as you still look beautiful and glamorous like those american celebrities, youre fine.

the "umetnica mora biti zdrava (artist (f) must be healthy)" part, which is usually why this song is mocked, doesnt really have that much importance until the later parts but keep it in mind.

the part after that, about her... walking her dog, is slowly transitioning into the next, main topic of the song: the fact that she, as an artist, cant have medical insurance. here she starts off calmly describing a sunny day and how shes glad she doesnt have to worry about her heart beating because of her autonomous nervous system, only for it to become sort of frantic as she's almost praying her heart keeps beating. if it doesnt, if something goes wrong, no ones going to save her. she has to rely on her body to stay healthy, or she'll have no option but to just... die.

after that, the song sounds like something youd hear in a church. our country is, i repeat, VERY religious, as is our anthem, literally called "bože pravde" (god of justice). in the anthem, it references how god will save us from illness, and it ties into her previous frantic singing — she's praying for her health, like our country told us to, because the country itself betrayed her. "(bože zdravlja) nemam knjižicu" ("(god of health) i dont have [health insurance]")

the next part is satire, with her mocking the government for surveiling its citizens in the name of "the greater good", or in this case, health. she jokes about being invisible, about how its a superpower, while in reality it just means she's, well, fucked.

ok so! now its relevant! "umetnica može biti zdrava" ("artist (f) can be healthy") is a repetition of the previous part, except now it reveals how the government, in reality, doesn't give a shit about her. they dont care if she's healthy, she doesnt have to be.

"in corpore sano" means "in a healthy body", which, yknow, she literally has to be. a weak mind in a healthy body, a sad soul in a healthy body. a despairing mind in a healthy body, a frightened mind in a healthy body. this could be about one of two things, tho i believe its about the latter. it coule be about how only the people in admittedly miserable jobs can afford medical insurance, or how shes a desperate mind clinging onto its, for now, healthy body.

in the end she asks what will we do now and to answer her question, absolutely nothing. nothing ever gets better here.

#eurovision #serbia

[ithseem]

this may be a bit long!

[matchup exchange for: OBEY ME]

✦ prominent personality traits: passionate (inwards, only express when some small thing im actually interested in comes up), levelheaded, contemplative (outwardly), opinionated, honest (heart on my sleeve). realistic but optimistic about it. individualistic. i am an ambivert. sometimes my mouth runs and i trip up over what i was going to say, and i’m blunt. sx/sp, not easily impressed. im a big person on wanting improvement and having ambition (mostly for myself, but i will encourage others). people think im funny so im happy about that :] i am amiable. im the type who’s better at finding solutions rather than comfort, but i certainly try the most i can for others. for bad traits, i have a hard time empathizing with people sometimes, and i’m somewhat pushy.

✦ looks fair skin, mid-length black hair, wispy middle part. i’m pretty lanky, with a beauty mark near the corner of my left eye. light academia type of dress, with hair clips. look more cute-sque.

✦ hobbies/talents: i like to read and write and listen to music and taking walks and drawing. i'm really good at explaining things in a very cohesive manner. my logic is really good, so my persuasion is extremely good too. im very efficient and creative, which i apply to many things in real life. i also have very good intuition.

thank you for this matchup exchange! dont worry, i’ll write lots for your oc too!

It seems tome you've captured the heart of...

The Prince of the Devildom

Diavolo!

On the surface level, he can respect your calm and level-headed nature. Once he gets to know you, he just falls in love with you harder. It's no secret that Diavolo is a good judge of character, and he grows to love and appreciate very facet of you.

One thing Diavolo especially likes about you is your honesty. The way your eyes light up when you speak is a sight he'll never tire of. He loves to listen about your thoughts on the subjects you're passionate about. He doesn't mind you running your tongue and stumbling over your words. In fact, this is a quirk of yours he's grown to find endearing about you. He still likes your articulacy regardless. Your logic is sound and your persuasive skills are a force to behold. You would make for a great ambassador for the Human Realm

He also likes your sense of humour so expect to joke around with him a lot.

As for your goal of self improvement, Diavolo cannot help but admire that. To quote something Leviathan (probably) said: "we stan character development." He may or may not find you to be an inspiration.

As for your bad traits, he'd be more than happy to help you manage those. He can be a bit pushy also, but he does work on that. He did learn to manage this part of himself so he can help you with this also. Empathizing with others might be something you need to work on as well. While Diavolo does appreciate solutions to his problems, he will oftentimes need a shoulder to cry on before he can tackle them.

Diavolo has a huge library full of books for you to read, as well as music records, many of which are cursed. But you are smart enough not to just touch these books or records all willy-nilly.

The Demon Lord's Castle has the best places to take walks, so he'd love to take strolls with you (of course, these walks are not limited to the castle), and Barbatos would prepare tea and snacks for you when you just want to relax

Diavolo also takes interest in your creative hobbies as well. If you ever gift him something you drew/wrote, he would be over the moon

Overall a very healthy and wholesome relationship with a lot of potential for emotional stimulation

#ithseem answers #obey me #obey me matchups #it's been a while since I played this so sorry if this is mid or ooc ;-; #i don't usually do this #not on this blog anyways #maybe i should do more fandoms for my side blog #i'm gonna make a poll for it #obey me diavolo #lord diavolo #diavolo swd #matchups

[bunny-heels]

i saw your post about not rebloging from people who are proship and if im being honest, that mentality terrifies me as someone who just learned this word. what if there is a new word that circulates in places im not familiar in and i get blacklisted for just rebloging something specific without seeing the entire blog? i really try to stay on top of all this lingo but it gets tough. also is bdsm proship? bdsm is not a cover for abuse even if people try to use it as such, when done responsibly and in the right communities that value safety as a first rule they often are more aware of harm and the reduction and prevention of it then movements that wont allow the depiction of stories that help survivors identify their abuse. am i proship if i appreciate a artful depiction of an abuse in tv that helps me learn how to recover in a healthy way and find skills to help others not get hurt the ways i had to? am i proship for making jokes that might read as hurtful to an outsider who dosnt know my relationship to my friends/partner? im sorry i just want to understand the line here so i can understand the harm these people are actually doing.

i think youre just terrifying yourself, friend.

proshippers only have 3 terms they use, as far as i know; proship, comship [meaning complicated ship], and darkship [meaning dark topic ship].

you won't be blacklisted just because you reblogged a post created by a proshipper, especially if you dont follow the person who created the post and you didnt know they were a proshipper. stuff like that happens all the time, and not just with proshippers. lots of people unknowingly reblog from terfs, racists, nazis, zionists- hell even i've reblogged posts made by people who were like that. but if youre followers actually know who you are, then they'll know it was a mistake, and they'll likely warn you politely about it just to watch out for you.

BDSM is not proship. BDSM has to do with rough and physically tasking acts in sex that are discussed and consented on extensively. lots of people into BDSM, such as subs and doms, will tell you that they regularly check on each other and have a system to let them know if they're okay or need a break or if something goes too far.

plus i myself am into some extreme things that i would never do in real life, let alone without someones consent. its either a 100% yes or there's no doing it all.

liking media with depictions of harmful topics that put it in an educational or meaningful light is also not proship. one of my favorite indie games is My Eyes Deceive, which i find to be a beautifully morbid game that touches well on the topic of abuse towards children and shows how horrific it can really be.

not proship for making jokes either. i'm friends with a chick who we both used to date the same guy who turned out to be a pedo. we often joke about how we were victims of grooming because really, we were.

checkin to see if a person is a proshipper isnt something scary or even that hard to do you'll find. i mean, if you'd make an effort to check if the youtuber youre watching is racist or if the twitter acc youre following is a nazi, then i dont see it as a lot of work to go to a persons blog and double check to make sure they arent a creep.

which btw, you'll know instantly if they are. everyone on this site is not afraid to say what they like or what theyre into. there is a good 90% chance that if the blog youre checking is proship safe, then they will proudly say it on their pinned post or carrd or whatever they use to put their info. its not too hard to spot.

buddy, you have nothing to worry about, and i promise you its not that hard to be a good person. you see someone who has shitty ideals? just block and move on. you didn't know the person you interacted with was shitty? delete it, block them, and move on. like avoiding a food you find gross in a buffet or taking out the trash. you'll be fine.

#the bun answers

[drdemonprince]

you say that and then say terms such as "adult sexuality" and "inappropriate adult emotional needs" but you want to get rid of the concept of "adulthood" entirely. you seem like you haven't really escaped that line of thinking entirely, which i can't really blame you for. I liked what you said about our shared responsibility, and it reminds me a lot about how women at any age above 18 are still given standards that re-create how they looked at a prepubescent age and that we should still feel responsible to point out the possible ulterior motives of that sorta push of "beauty" it's all extremely interesting what you're saying.

i'm not sure what this is in reference to but yeah i am an inhabitant of my current reality and time and life context and do show the signs of that by using words that refer to commonly held cultural concepts that are, admittedly, really full of holes, such as "adulthood" and "inappropriate" and stuff like that. i really dont aim for perfection especially with language but im happy to kinda probe the issues with these phrases because i agree with you philosophically about them not really making sense.

adult sexuality is for sure not a helpful framing, i cant remember where i said that but ill state on the record here that it isn't a term that really makes sense. people use "adult sexuality" or "healthy adult sexuality" the way they use "consensual" in phrases like "consensual non mongamy" is if to indicate that what they are referring to is the Cool Okay Kind, Dont Worry Guys, and it's all really unnecessary and it's also a handwave. like calling something adult or consensual doesnt ensure that it actually was okay or always is or whatever.

so like, i get your point. people not legally recognized as adults, who have no rights in our current society, also are sexual beings and while this is uncomfortable to grapple with and is used as an excuse to abuse children, i think denying that they are beings with attraction, libidos, questions, interests, sexual habits etc is to their detriment and is just factually incorrect.

inappropriate is trickier. i do think a lot of parents do place wrongheaded expectations onto their kids, emotionally speaking, and idk how to better refer to that other than like inappropriate, badly boundaried, emotionally immature (not my term, using that one because thats how lindsay gibson refers to it etc).

but like, yes, you are absolutely right that calling a thing inappropriate lacks specificity and confers a moral judgement, and when i say a phrase like that, im usually making a deliberate emotional appeal to the reader. when i openly call something inappropriate or wrong i'm implying that reader can see as easily as i can that an expectation was "wrong". im basically inviting them into my point of view about a subjective value judgement. and so to some degree the lack of objectivity in such statement is the point. if that makes sense.

[spricket-central]

Pincushion is looking great!

shes gotten SO big... my lil baby... (almost) all grown up..... :,)

im gonna have to upgrade her to a bigger tank when i get the chance! i wanna hook her up with a nice slice of egg carton to hang around in, a tube stack, and a climbing wall!

i think I'll keep her lil purple cave in there too. shes kinda too big for it, but she still keeps trying to go in, so i think its safe to say she likes it, ahaha. its really only a good size for extremely young/small nymphs, and i dont currently have any babies that tiny in my care, so it wouldnt be in use anyway. may as well let her keep it!

im also no longer concerned about her abdomen looking short; i got a nice overhead look at her, and i think shes looking nice and healthy now 👍 certainly not extreme enough for me to worry about at the very least.

Good Job Pincushion!!! 💚

#insects #pet bugs #bugblr #invert pets #crickets #camel cricket #spider cricket #cave cricket #spricket #rhaphidophoridae #babies! #pincushion #life cycle #health #pics

[deathbyathousandcuts]

hey friend, sorry if this is a little personal or you don’t want to answer, please feel free to ignore, but why did you decide to give up alcohol? i want to myself and i think i should, but i’m having trouble giving myself the push to get there. i’m worried about things seeming bleak, or boring, or that i’ll have to explain everywhere. any advice or inspiration is much obliged. congrats!!!!!

hey! no bestie it isnt too personal at all! im super open about stuff like this so please feel free to ask anytime you have questions! im happy to be a support for you because this has been hard but its also been so so so worth it and i will never look back!! <3 my response may be triggering for some due to the content so im gonna put it under a cut! so trigger warning: alcohol, blacking out.

for starters some people just cannot handle alcohol the same way - its literally a brain, chemical thing... some people just can't do it. for me it was endless nights of blacking out, having no idea what i said or did, sick of throwing up all the fucking time and ruining clothes and rugs. im one of the people that if i have one drink it will almost definitely turn into six which turns into ten which turns into black out. i was a nice drinker, i got real obsessed with how much i love everyone and was super friendly so that wasnt apart of my issue. i just felt like... i dont remember what i did or said. it triggered my ptsd and anxiety, every single day after i went hard drinking i would be an anxious mess and feeling suicidal because i was embarrassed or anxious that i had done or said something super humiliating even though that wasnt my track record. i just dont have a healthy ability to stop. i have no off button once the alcoho hits my system so i cannot control how much i drink. i tried that, may times and it never worked. its an all or nothing kind of thing for me.

i also chase the dopamine hit - every sip of alcohol once you start to feel drunk continues to feel like a dopamine hit! thats why you dont realize youre drinking way more than you want to sometimes, because once your kind of out of your normal mindset it takes over and tells you its a great idea..... at least for me it did!

my girlfriend and i went to a taylor swift themed night a bar just days after our decision to get sober and we thought it would be terrible and uncomfortable and i was like "i cant sing or dance without alcohol no way this is gonna be fun" and we did have a wonderful time! there are so many fun mocktails and almost every bartender ive ever come across will be more than happy to throw something fun together for you if youre worried about being able to go out out.

my father is an alcoholic and he and i are estranged because of it. he has been extremely, extremely sick lately with liver and kidney issues from his drinking. and for obvious reasons, i dont wish to repeat that cycle in my near future.

pro tip: if you're somewhere where you order your own drink privately if you get a soda water/sparkling water with lime and ask for it in a rocks glass no one will ever know you arent drinking! i do this a lot when at weddings or parties because i dont feel like talking to drunk assholes about how great they think being drunk is lmao

anon i am more than happy to clarify anything or answer any further questions you have!! its intense to go at this alone, so seriously i got you if you need anyone. <33

alcohol can absolutely be a fun tool if used responsibly and great for celebrations and all that fun stuff but like... you dnot need it to enjoy it. but its expensive, too - in so many ways! so you save money if you just get yourself a pretty lil soda with lime and prance around and just have fun being yourself without a substance taking control for you.

im actually learning a lot more about myself and what i really want and need out of social situations because im in control of myself and my autonomy instead of not remembering what even happened.

#tw: alcohol #tw: blacking out

[sk1nnybambi]

TW// ed// ranting

Sometimes i get so frustrated with my ed.

I always see posts about low calore plans, healthy/small meals, but i work about 40hours a week.. in restaurants….

Im always walking around, getting extremely exhausted.

And i get it. I can easily buy healthy, nutritious options to keep my body feuled and working while still being low cal/healthy. But those good options come with a price. Im constantly worried about paying rent and bills and car payments on time and even gas that i really dont have a whole lot of money to spend on ‘good’ foods. So i buy the cheap stuff. The food thats on sale, etc. and i cant not buy food because i live with my boyfriend who can and will eat anything and everything.

I hate the situation im in and what my body has become.

#tw ana diary #ana trigger

[woolywoofs]

I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).

Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.

I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.

Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.

Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.

My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.

My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.

Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.

I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.

While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.

With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.

Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.

I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble

Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?

#personal babble #lord sorry for going off forever #my art