#im desperately trying to have someone see this

[kaseyskat]

lmao the way that people are STILL using marcy’s “i just got betrayed and had my secrets outed and I Know my friends are going to hate me for this but if i can just come up with something, anything to say to them that can justify it and gain any possible sympathy because i’ve never been vulnerable with my emotions around them and i don’t know how to start now” speech to prove that she’s some heartless manipulator who sees amphibia as a world of npcs and doesn’t care about her friends... no thanks <3 please stay away from me <3 

#she's hid the truth and omitted details and im almost positive at this point that she was growing apart from the girls pre-amphibia already #and she FUCKED UP i cannot stress this enough this girl did things wrong she fucked up so bad #BUT #using marcy's breakdown speech to villainize her just. it just rubs me so wrong. #marcy was already established in two! different episodes that she is Not Good at talking to people #especially on the spot #and literally someone that she had trusted had betrayed her and forcibly revealed her secrets for fun #marcy was saying literally anything she could think of to justify herself/garner sympathy #maybe in the moment she believed it herself but. i dont think so? she always sounded like she was trying to justify it to herself too #if she only saw sprig as an object she would not have risked her own life for him three separate times #(the ant queen) (the first temple-throwing the game by physically jumping onto the board) (diving out of a window) #if she only saw the amphibians as nps andrias's betrayal wouldnt have hit her so hard #she wouldnt be trying so desperately to find a place of belonging #she wouldnt have risked her life for the plantars again and again #she had an entire episode about wanting to belong somewhere like #people love to use her i gave you this i gave you everything and then point out where sasha and anne landed #as if that wasnt marcy's last ditch attempt to showcase how they have grown in amphibia #and you can SEE IT. IT HER FACE. when she realizes that it's not working and she's gonna have to be vulnerable #she doesn't even believe it herself it was literally. a stressed out panicking teenager trying to justify herself #and failing because she didnt want to acknowledge the truth until she had to #that she didn't want to be left alone #anyways i have rambled in the tags for long enough i just #please. stop using marcy's speech against her like that. #kasey rambles

[lemongogo]

hi i was reading ur tags and just wanted to share my interpretation of the whole haibara situation bc i am very emotional abt him. imo, if gege had chosen to set the manga back in 07 during gojo and nanamis teenage days, there’s no doubt in my mind that haibara would be the main character. initially u might think it would b gojo but if we follow the stereotypical shonen protag archetype, gojos abilities were already much too powerful and developed for him to make a suitable mc. in that vein, bc haibara was still learning and had vast room for improvement, along with his happy go lucky and optimistic personality and what with nanami being his angsty emo deuteragonist, he would’ve made for the most perfect stereotypical anime protag (if we also take into account gojo and geto as his powerful upperclassmen who inspire him to train harder to b more like them then it makes it even more perfect). so yes i think haibara was meant to heavily parallel itadoris character.

ur also correct in saying haibaras death was catalyst, as it led to nanami running away from the jujutsu world. haibara and nanami, while we didn’t see too many interactions between them, were pretty clearly meant to b best friends. seeing ur bsf who’s ALSO a fellow child die in battle was probably definitely hella traumatizing, and i think it made nanami realize that the jujutsu world was just taking children and placing them into the role of a savior before they were even properly equipped to deal with it. so nanami leaves yadda yadda yadda and then he comes back. and i think he sees a lot of what he saw in haibara in itadori as well. nanami doesn’t want the same thing to happen to this child who isn’t much younger than the age in which his best friend died, and so he kinda takes on the responsibility of making sure to protect what little he can. i think he kinda sees it as his second chance of sorts, a way to finally do what he couldn’t do back when he was 17 years old. so haibara appearing to nanami as he’s dying and questioning his purpose was i nanamis conscience reminding him of the one he lost, and the ones he’s still trying to save. the guilt of haibaras death never truly left him, and so by protecting this new generation of sorcerers i feel like he’s trying to combat that pain with his new purpose of being the adult he wishes he had access to when he was a kid.

(also it’s not rly clear how haibara died exactly, but the manga implies his lower half was ripped off or destroyed or smth, going by the shape of his body under the sheet in the morgue)

okay that’s all sorry for rambling i just. i get very sensitive abt haibara and nanami sometimes LMFAO

omg omg no dont be sorry , if anything im so sorry to keep u waiting AHKHAK i rmbr reading this the first time u sent it and it was so sad that i legitimately couldnt think abt it for a bit LMAOO no but thank u so much for taking the time to write this ;_;

i loveee love love how such a small scene can hold incredible significance like that. although i know there is more than meets the eye, as you've explained, i love how anyone can read that and just Understand, albeit abstractly, haibara's influence . the implications it holds for nanami and nanami's motivations, and how that , in turn, affects itadori. theres something so heart rending abt that. like the perseverance of someone's legacy (?) i guess?? and while haibara didn't get a good ending, it's part of his story that moves forward with those who still have a chance . its really special !! and i love that gege decided to allude to him in that moment

i especially love that we don't have to see haibara's face to know its him. and that the simple gesture of him pointing towards itadori was enough. SOBBINGGG

after everything u told me abt him i >............................."so haibara appearing to nanami as he’s dying and questioning his purpose was i nanamis conscience reminding him of the one he lost, and the ones he’s still trying to save. the guilt of haibaras death never truly left him, and so by protecting this new generation of sorcerers i feel like he’s trying to combat that pain with his new purpose of being the adult he wishes he had access to when he was a kid." OUGHHHHGGGGHOSPOHEFN<SS<FN)(#)(#@$@*_)*

they sound like they were so important to each other ;_; i honestly might look into the few chapters they do have, im tempted..

#genuinely obsessed w charas that r good mentors #ig some ppl find them boring but bnoo.... they r so good.. make me feel so happy #and they have their own complexities too like. u see nanami try and try to Be that good adult that these kids #desperately need. but u also see how badly nanami was failed .and u recognize that hes only one person #and to take on this burden and this responsibility is HARDD. #like part of u wants him to take care of himself . to go 2 malaysia and leave jujutsu behind. he bears the scars #but also.. he has the chance to be the adult for these kids that he never had . #he knows that someone has to do it and if he doesnt who will.decides that their safety is more imp. than his comfort #idk wat im saying anymore but like. these dynamics r so so good and so complex despite how they r often treated #i love how nanami toys with the concept of responsibility. gawd im obsessed #thinks back 2 um. tanjirou saying smth like. helping others ends up being beneficial for u. #cries.yea..........yea. #nanami #haibara #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk manga #jjk 120 #asktag #kalofi

[majormeilani]

also i've thought about this for a while, but even though grooves was going to have lines during the finale but they got cut for whatever reason? i find it kinda interesting that he doesn't say anything bc he's like probably internally like. "yeah. i fucked up. let's just help the darling and get this over with." and for him to not show up during the cruise probably outta fear of running into hat/bow again after what he did. and maybe he doesn't 100% oppose what mu is preaching about either..? and that's why he just wordlessly dies w/ conductor

#and i guess conductor is okay confronting and seeing hat/bow again bc maybe he assumes they're still on good terms #since grooves takes a lot of shit from him and acts like nothing happened to him and still interacts with him after #sometimes i remember how much of a bully conductor is and while i love him and his character i'm just like..... ugh.... dude #just fucking stop it's gotten too far... #also maybe grooves feels like he doesn't have to apologize bc of how much hed gone through to get to that point.... idk..... #anyway that's why i think grooves should adopt mu #bc he can forgive and do better to show he's changed if hat/bow comes back #plus i think mu deserves someone to forgive her and try to understand her #since grooves seems frustrated that hat kid doesn't understand him #but then realizes he should try to understand someone else too #also i think him trying to invite her to watch their movie together before hat kid leaves was an attempt #to kinda sit down with her to actually talk things out #but eh im grasping at straws in desperation here

[theiliad]

am I fucking cursed every time I try to go on a date something terrible happens what. the hell.

#last time i tried to date i immediately got hit with a life changing family crisis #i try to see someone new almost a year later #and now im running a fever and desperately hoping im not a fucking breakthrough case #i swear to god if i have covid after sitting in my apartment for this fuckin long #mal.txt #covid tw #fuck. everything. #also yes im getting tested tomorrow and the girl has been informed #i hate this

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hhhh srry to be posting a lot today but like i was up till like 2am working on my stupid relative abundance charts #so i have no filter atm #and my advisor has now made me a flier for my thesis defense #my defense is like 13 days away now #my 1st chapter is looking pretty okay. the 2nd needs some work #but ive got like 5 days to sort it all out #plus i have to give a presentation Tuesday and upload a poster that i havent started by Thursday #so theres a lot happening atm #but also like on Tuesday my friend fantically texted me asking if i knew anyone at my school who is hiring bc she desperately wants to quit #her new job. and was asking if my pi was looking for anyone #and im like. literally i kno nothing abt the hiring process and have not interacting with anyone in a month #and i dont have the mental space to deal with your stress on top of mine. bc i have been a bit of a mommy fwiend to her #like when she comes over she does like a full on vent of everything and like i dont mind bc im nosy lol but also #she is does that thing when when ur stressed u project it everyone in a desperate hope that someone will catch u before u fall #and like i want to help hold her up but like also when u do that it affects other ppl. which is why i try not to do it #so i feel bad that i cant be there for her but logically i do not have the mental space for it #i also feel bad bc i cant have a normal friendship where i feel things. my brain is more like. talking to this person is interesting so keep #talking to them. see what happens. like im an alien studying the behaviours of a human being #and i know its fine but like also i feel fucked up abt it #idk im just v stressed. i can feel it when i breathe #and halfway thru writing this i was emailing some figures to my PI and she noticed that the genus classification wasnt right #and i was lik yea thats how the supercomputer classed them #and her reply was like *my name* these arent still unclassifiable #and idk y she wrote in my name bc it was an ongoing thread but it freaked me out a bit #bc it freaks me out when ppl address me by name and im v low on sleep #hhhhhh in a month this will all be over #unrelated

[brilliant-soul]

Who, who designed tools to be so ungodly confusing?????

All I want to do is drill 6 or 8 tiny little holes in my wall. And the screw in 6 to 8 tiny little drywall anchors, and then 6/8 little fucking screws

There is absolutely no fucking reason this is all so hard

I got all this way and now, now the God damn drill bit is *in* but not like *locked in*

And ik realistically I could use it like that just carefully

But somebody tell me why unlocking it was so easy and relocking it is like deciphering ancient Greek

#going to try smth else and see what happens #all my last hour has been is googling abt drywall anchors and drill bits and im going insane. i do not care abt this anymore #if i didnt desperately need shelves in this godforsaken house i would never in my life ever touch a drill again #this is why i wouldn't buy onw i forgot how much i loathe them #and to be clear i do not have an aversion to powertools. i own powertools. i would fight someone over my oscillating tool #still figuring out the rotary tool tho #anyway. life is a nightmare #OH!!!! and idk how to look for studs and people are like you tap and it sounds different like jeeze thats genius /s #like sorry nobody taught me the intricacies of drilling into drywall ever #then my landlords were like 'these are shit walls btw' like im extra extra worried #and now im scared i sounded like a bitch when i asked for help when in reality i was like pls for the love of god tell me smth idk already #yeah. so. todays been a day #personal #vent post

[no-hetsplanation-for-aa]

anyone: juan and adrian were dating canonically while adrian was using him to retrieve celeste’s suicide note, because the game even said they were in an “intimate” relationship, and the tabloids ended up being right! (:

me, a dumbass who won’t stop talking: okay, alright, so like. that’s true the word “intimate” does carry some pretty explicit romantic weight to it but do you ever know the feeling of like. when you’re a girl and you have a super duper close friend who’s a guy and he’s like the only person you really hang around so when anybody even so much as sees you standing next to each other they go “LOOOOL SO WHEN ARE U GONNA GET MARRIED”. do you get what i mean--

#ace attorney #adrian andrews #jfa spoilers / #suicide mention / #adrianposting #i am super duper not trying to go all gold star lesbian on adrian here #but like having been that person who is relentlessly paired together w/ ur best guy friend by adults when you're in proximity of each other #is just....hmm. yeah #i think they were 'close' and that closeness can be left up to interpretation #i don't think it would be WRONG to interpret as romantic and the canon suggests as such #but....adrian fucking hated juan's guts and yes she needed someone to lean on regardless i'm sure #but eh i dunno i'm just going to think about it as they just were sort of close buddies who bonded over a mutual person's death #and the media took it way out of fucking context #it's possible im just. i dont see her dating one of the two men she hated so much. even if she was desperate for affection or that note #**not trying to go gold star on her but that's what IT PROBABLY SOUNDS LIKE #eeggh eeeghh just to clear the air there #again you're totally welcome to interpret it any way you want but this is mine!!! ok im done

[lesbianwillbond]

x

#gonna post this then probably delete the tumblr app for a day-ish i just wanna talk about some things #it’s gonna be all over the place bc i have a lot of thoughts and i’m not entirely sure how to connect them so it’ll be messy #i think i’ve mentioned before how lonely and isolating i find tumblr. one of the reasons i deactivated my old account was because i felt so #alone. on my old dear evan hansen blog i always felt like i was being left out of everything because everyone was friends with each other #and i was just kind of. there? i reblogged their posts and helped them gain notes but that was all i was to them despite wanting to become #friends. and yknow ever since i deleted that blog and made this one i feel like things like that have gotten better. i have a few people i #consider friends. but i still feel so alone bc i’ll scroll through my dash and i’ll see everyone obviously closer with other people and i #feel like i’m just a pity friend. fuck i’m genuinely crying rn lmao. and yknow ive tried to make connections with people and i try to become #closer but it always feels like i’m reaching for something so desperately i dislocate my shoulder and still i’m so far from grabbing it bc #it’s not moving. it’s comfortable where it is and new-ness is scary so it refuses it. and i just. it sucks so much feeling like this in a #place i usually use as an escape from bad feelings. i feel so worthless and unwanted by everyone and everything #and everytine someone compliments me on somethings it’s always that i’m funny and i just don’t give a shit anymore. i feel like a performer #and that’s it. i have no other value or worth. i’m just here to entertain. i just want to talk to people and laugh with people without #feeling like i’m being a bother. i want to feel genuinely loved and valued by people i don’t wanna just be the funny man occasionally on #people’s dashes. i just feel like shit all the fucking time. and i don’t wanna kill myself im not gonna kill myself but there are days i #wake up and wish i hadn’t. i don’t wanna die i just wish i had never existed in the first place #i think that’s it #en #delete later

[fellhellion]

patience, ponies and pastries genuinely makes me go insane like GOD!!! the Romance of fund management making my heart ache bro....

#the ‘​I wish to learn you and love you’ vibes #THE MUTUAL PINING #augh the first instinct being love and affection and then protectiveness #every time I read this fic I get hit w new realisations #like legit....managing funds akin to a husband PLS I am losing my MIND. #‘protecting you is easy...but to be a good husband’ line from the S byleth rank is VIBING through this fic while being steeped in denial and #fear at the thought of having so many people to love AT THE THOUGHT OF LOVING ANOTHER PERSON AS MUCH AS EDELGARD #GODDDDDDDD #god pls I’m feeling so much I desperately need to rant to someone about this fic #‘declined inopportune marriage contracts’ u crafty bastard and u STILL trying to pretend ur not falling in love #god even the friendships are so GOOD like hubert feeling pride that bernadetta tricked him #and the edelgard and ferdie finally being able to be friends GOD #the little indications that despite everything they KNOW each other: the comment about the riding gloves and Percieving the flash of hurt hh #SEEING FRECKLE AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #‘​a pitiless man who could not name kindness and allowed it to flourish all the same.’ SHUTUP IM ALREADY CRYING #tunes talks fe3h

[agentmmayy]

re-watching season 2 of teen wolf

#allison: they wont split us apart #scott: no theyll split ME apart #allison: ??? #also... derek grabbing scott from walking into the argents cutting someone in half and holding him so they wont see him...... im SOFT #alpha!derek remains superior idc what yall say #i also just cant get over how many times everyone in the show breaks the law this season #me every five seconds: this is illegal??? #how desperate do you have to be to torture a highschool principal for a geriatric grandpa to take his place #in order to kill some teenagers like??? #what was the logic there #god i can just picture them talking over the plan and chris just being like 'what the fuck is wrong with my family' #you deserved better king #i also have a hard time believing the entire town or at least the entire highschool wasnt aware of everything going on #scott and stiles at FULL volume in the locker room: I HOPE YOU DONT LOSE CONTROL AND TRY TO MAIM ME AGAIN THIS FULL MOON. #WITH YOUR CLAWS ANS FANGS AND WOLFINESS #theyre so dumb i love them

[kaseyskat]

people who think marcy's character is boring are cowards

#/hj #i think sometimes people only see her for how she presents herself #that is: a clumsy but excitable nerd. super smart. talented at many different skillsets. mary sue esque type character #but like. thats the thing shes NOT like that its just how she is presented in the narrative! #marcy showing the gifted kid burnout and pressure... her inability to connect to others versus the way she so desperately wants to try... #she's such. she's such a human character because like! people don't have to have big flaws to still be flawed! #she IS relatable because she just feels. real. like this could be a kid from your school or someone you know minus the frog box. #we dont get characters like that very often and its something that amphibia excels at! all three girls feel very real #but if you want marcy to be 'more evil' or think she was badly written just because she's not super flawed like sasha #or she's not interesting because of her good traits #im sorry but you do not deserve to have marcy wu anymore #that is all i will probably delete this later sdhfkdshfkdshf

[mejomonster]

im never gonna be over that old man saying if wu xie and xiaoge stay together they’ll get each other killed like??

wow way to confirm how xiaoge views their relationship and what he fears most??? how dare you

way to confirm xiaoge and others at the core of it see him as a demon, not a superhero, not a person

way to remind wu xie he’s constantly desperately afraid his inexperience and failings will put xiaoge in danger and get him killed (wu xie is so desperate to get skilled like his peers, to make it so this is less of a concern, always)

way to remind them both that they’ll pick each other hell or high water, and whatever wu xie fears he fears leaving xiaoge more. fears letting something hurt xiaoge without him there. because wu xie would happily die before letting something hurt xiaoge. would rather that happened. 

and xiaoge would rather make sure it never did. that nothing ever touches wu xie.

and that’s their dilemma really 

#pingxie #dmbj #tlt3 #tlt3 lb #yes im THINKING about it again #how xiaoge never connected to anyone #and bafflingly this RANDOM GUY starts caring. starts asking how he is. checking if he's still around. #siding with him when he gives no explanation. #and xiaoge cant help but care a little. maybe hes curious. baffled. #then too soon xiaoge realizes/fears that he's going to put wu xie in even more danger NEAR him #but wu xie is IN this danger at least sometimes in desperate attempt to help xiaoge #because wu xie wants SOMEONE to and NO ONE ever does #no one ever worries about xiaoge! so he will! he has to! even if he doesnt have the power to help enouh! #little does he know to xiaoge just the Caring is SO much and its what xiaoge wants and needs more than any superhero #because xiaoge Is strong enough to survive. but hes got no one to help him cope with this stress and pain. no one to #shelter him and tell him to take a break. to smile at him and say its okay to feel weak or tired #to talk to him like he's a person and a person to be protected. #and wu xie hates that he can't be skilled enough to help. xiaoge. or san shu. or himself. he's trying so Hard ut #but he's gonna need YEARS to get good enough. and he's trying to learn by doing #and xiaoge cant stay away because he wants wu xie alive. and wu xie clings to check on him and support him when he sees xiaoge #and then by the time they notice they're just. soulmates. just people who chose each other #and couldn't stop. and now they're trying to bridge the gap #and xiaoge's decided wu xie's in danger either way. so he might as well be with him #and wu xie's just wanted xiaoge with him. because wu xie knows he's in danger anyway all the time. #but with xiaoge. a #at least someone can Be There for zhang qiling. someone can. wu xie can. #and yeah they know there's no world they're meant to work out #wu xie's out of his depth. a monster magnet. rushes into things he cant handle #and he FEARS letting it catch up xiaoge and hurt him. #but also he cant let xiaoge go alone into these monstrous horrifying situations

[the-queen-of-the-light]

Omg the parent trap au already had me crying and then you go and add those comments???? All the feels omg (I love it, thank you)

Listen, listen, I have a lot of feelings all the time and parent trap is now consuming all of them at the moment because of mrsluthordanvers!!! (I’m glad you enjoyed!! 🥰 The tags are always a fun place to do some idea screaming. As a treat!)

#itistakingover #supercorp #parent trap au #im glad you enjoyed the idea of lena trying desperately not to cry as she thinks of her other daughter and ex wife #try not to imagine lena sometimes just staring at lori #almost staring right through her like shes seeing someone else entirely and its ripping her mother to shreds but she’ll never say so #will just shake it of with a smile and a hug like she hadnt just had her heart broken all over again by a memory lori cant understand #except after camp lara calls her and mentions the staring ‘is she always like that? she looks so sad’ #and lori finally understands #tho she doesnt know if her mother is seeing lara or kara #but it makes her think that they better do an extra good job getting their mothers back together #certainly dont think of kara looking at lara chattering away in kryptonian and seeing lori in her face #seeing another kryptonian baby just like kal that she never got to help grow up and teach about krypton and its beauty as well as its flaws #seeing one that she has loved and will always love but never knowing if shell get the chance to tell her those stories #wondering if lori will ever know kryptonese #she trusts that lena would teach her what she needs to know but still she wonders #she misses the little girl she lost and the woman she loved #and she weeps for her daughters who will probably never know what her mother and her aunt had as twins #will never know the sisterhood she and alex had #and honestly even when she finds out the girls have met each other and are scheming #she’s just glad to know that they have each other #that she and lena didnt irrepairable tear them apart for their own reasons #on a brighter note #do think of Jess being lena’s secretary still and taking the role of the butler in the og film #and lori teaching lara her and jess’s secret handshake so that they don’t blow their cover #or should it be sam and she’s the bff so she and alex can end up together #possibilities 👀

[coconutknightshade]

manager: what's going on with this deal

me: *explains the problems and how i'm busting my ass to fix it*

manager: need that solved

OH REALLY? THE THING I JUST TOLD YOU I'M HAVING A PROBLEM WITH AND AM TRYING TO FIX? THAT THING? NEEDS SOLVED? THE THING IM TRYING TO FIX? THAT THING? THAT THING I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I WAS DOING TO SOLVE IT? THAT ONE? HMMM HUH thank you for your wise and magnanimous leadership and sage words of advice

#I STG I COULD have lost my job i wrote and rewrote a response liie 4 times before settling with 'ya same. working on it' #YALL THIS MAN TELLS US EVERY FREAKING MEETING that hes here for us and to come to him if we're having a problem #and then when someone does he brushes them off with some 'joking' condescending remark AND/OR pushed them off to one of our teammates #thats ya know NOT A MANAGER #and when we have an issue with something related to another department he's like 'you need to email their manager' and IM LIKE #YEAH SURE BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS PROFESSIONAL WHO NEEDS A CHAIN OF COMMAND WHEN WE CAN JUST GO STRAIGHT KAREN-MODE #literally he brings us no support or value add and he gaslights us on the reg #one day he actually told us to give him something to vent about because he needed to vent #AND ONE OF THE GUYS DID START VENTING ABOUT AN ISSUE #AND MY MANAGER TURNED IT AROUND ON HIM AND STARTED VENTING ABOUT US AND blew the issue off all har har no youre doing it wrong #its so gross #anyway im desperately trying to see if another department is hiring #rant #text

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#okay so pros and cons of going home bc i haven't made a decision yet.... #cons: ethically traveling across the country rn is not good. and personally navigating the steps of traveling rn feels impossible bc im so #exhausted. also i havent done any Christmas shopping which i kno my sisters will criticize me for but its not live ive been lazy abt it #ive been stressed abt it since November but it hasnt happened and its just gonna make me really upset when they point it out. #also when i go home ill have to stay upstairs in my sisters old room bc she moved into my room and its dumb but that makes my brain go: #u cant go home now bc u cant handle that change #. also when i come back ill have to quarantine 2weeks and i still have a bunch of stuff i have to do in the lab. #speaking of which if i stay i can get a lot done here lab wise and maybe relax a little more bc it wont be like im doing normal hrs which #stress me out. and we have an ongoing project that needs help with in the lab too so i feel bad leaving. also im so tired and worried i wont #be able to relax until whenever id get a flight so im nervous abt driving #pros of going home: cant go into the and therefore must relax which is desperately needed. will see my family which is good bc never kno #when someone might suddenly kick the bucket and i dont make connections properly so my direct fam are the only ones i feel almost #comfortable around. also my parents miss me and i always feel like a terrible child for living so far away from them. #also i might be able to experience some tiny crumbs of happiness in my tiny pathetic hypercontrolled life. #and that's basically it: if i stay i feel horrible and guilty toward my family and if i go i feel ethically guilty but my brain might get #some tiny amount of relief for a sec #idk if i stay ill try to be more healthy and do some fun crafty stuff and force myself to recover so idk... #if i havent bought tickets by Sunday then im not going. rn im leaning toward not going but it does make me quite sad #writing this out rn bc i woke up with my face v swollen from crying which was a product of half #indecision and half my brain collapsing under the weight of the week #idk i just hate making choices #unrelated

[grlfriends]

and like??? i have actual body acne like on my shoulders back and it's not as bad but sometimes it gets worse but in conclusion my whole complete body is just???? horrible to look at best or straight up gross to be around and not only that but it's so big (god I'm not saying being fat is ugly) but i AM ugly and im fat so 😋 anyway.

#g.txt #no one will ever look at my body and enjoy what they see #no one #and i know it and i try to accept it but i just cant bc im so goddamn desperate for someone to like #think im beautiful #look at me and see the universe but it's just impossible lol #im not cute in anyway #the best thing about me is that sometimes im funny and thats bc i dont have any other personality trait that is interesting #im just never going to date anyone