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somethinginrocknroll · 3 years

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He's not my favorite in a normal sense. His crazy fucking lifestyle and death are. He knew Elvis, The Rolling Stones, and many others too. Here's a mini bio on him:

Ingram Cecil Connor III better known professionally as Gram Parsons. He was a musician and frontman. Parsons worked with The Byrds in 1968, before quitting and joining his own band, The Flying Burrito Brothers from 1969 through 1970.

Gram was born in Winter Haven, Florida on November 5th, 1945 to Ingram Cecil Connor Parsons II and Avis Snively Connor. Avis returned to her hometown to give birth to her son. She was the daughter of citrus fruit magnate John A. Snively, who held extensive properties in Winter Haven and in Waycross. Gram's father, Ingram Connor II was a famous World War II flying ace, decorated with the Air Medal, who was present at the 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor.

In 1956 when he was only nine-years-old, Gram saw Elvis Presley in concert and fell in love with music. That’s where his love of music came in. Two years later his father who went by “Coon Dog” took his own life two days before Christmas, Gram was only 11/12. Both him and his sister Avis (Jr) were both shattered after their father’s death.

Avis Sr remarried to Robert Parsons and the children took his name and were adopted by him once he married their mother.

Gram Parsons did briefly attend the prestigious Bolles School in Jacksonville, Florida. That was before transferring to the public Winter Haven High School. Which he did after failing his junior year. Gram returned to Bolles which had converted from a military to a liberal arts curriculum amid the incipient Vietnam War.

For a time, the family found a stability of sorts. They were torn apart in early 1965, when Robert had an extramarital affair and Avis' heavy drinking led to her death from cirrhosis on June 5, 1965, the day of Gram's graduation from Bolles.

Barely in his teens, he played in rock and roll cover bands such as the Pacers and the Legends, headlining in clubs owned by his stepfather in the Winter Haven/Polk County area. By the age of 16, he graduated to folk music, and in 1963 he teamed up with his first professional outfit, the Shilohs, in Greenville, South Carolina.

Gram was heavily influenced by The Kingston Trio and The Journeymen. The band played hootenannies, coffee houses and high school auditoriums. Parsons was still enrolled in prep school, he only performed with the group in select engagements. Forays into New York City (where Parsons briefly lived with a female folk singer in a loft on Houston Street)included a performance at Florida's exhibition in the 1964 New York World's Fair and regular appearances at the Café Rafio on Bleecker Street in Greenwich Village in the summer of 1964.

Although John Phillips who is an acquaintance of Shiloh George Wrigley arranged an exploratory meeting with Albert Grossman, the impresario balked at booking the group for a Christmas engagement at The Bitter End when he discovered that the Shilohs were still high school students. Following a recording session at the radio station of Bob Jones University, the group reached a creative impasse amid the emergence of folk rock and dissolved in the spring of 1965 around the time of Gram’s mother’s passing.

Shockingly despite being poor in school and having bad test grades, Gram went to Harvard University in 1966 with the help of a strong essay he wrote. He only did one semester and that’s where he became more serious about country music. He heard Merle Haggard for the first time.

In 1966, he and other musicians from the Boston folk scene formed a group called the “International Submarine Band”. After briefly residing in the Kingsbridge section of the Bronx, they relocated to Los Angeles the following year. Following several lineup changes, the band signed to Lee Hazlewood's LHI Records, where they spent late 1967 recording Safe at Home. The album contains one of Parsons' best-known songs, "Luxury Liner", and an early version of "Do You Know How It Feels", which he revised later in his career. Safe at Home would remain unreleased until mid-1968, by which time the International Submarine Band had broken up.

In that same year Gram got the attention of The Byrds’ guitarist Chris Hillman thanks to business manager Larry Spector as a possible replacement member since David Crosby and Micheal Clarke left in late 1967. Parsons had already met Hillman at a bank in 1967. Gram had his only child, Polly, with Nancy Ross the girlfriend of David Crosby.

Gram passed the audition in February 1968. He was at first a jazz pianist but was switched to rhyme guitar and vocals. Gram left the band when asked why Gram responded with,

"Being with The Byrds confused me a little. I couldn't find my place. I didn't have enough say-so. I really wasn't one of The Byrds. I was originally hired because they wanted a keyboard player. But I had experience being a frontman and that came out immediately. And [Roger McGuinn] being a very perceptive fellow saw that it would help the act, and he started sticking me out front."

He was also friends with The Rolling Stones members Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. And they stayed close to each other until a fall out in the 70s. Before Parsons' departure from The Byrds, he had accompanied the two Rolling Stones to Stonehenge along with McGuinn and Hillman in the English county of Wiltshire.

Immediately after leaving the band, Parsons stayed at Richards' house and the pair developed a close friendship over the next few years, with Parsons reintroducing the guitarist to country music. According to Stones' confidant and close friend of Parsons, Phil Kaufman, the two would sit around for hours playing obscure country records and trading off on various songs with their guitars.

Returning to Los Angeles in 1969, Parsons sought out Hillman, and the two formed The Flying Burrito Brothers with bassist Chris Ethridge and pedal steel player “Sneaky” Pete Kleinow. They did every genre of music possible from hard rock all the way to country and jazz gospel. Around this time of The Flying Burrito Brothers, Gram started dabbling more and more into drugs.

Then Gram started a solo career in 1970 and toured with Emmylou Harris for a bit ; he may have been romantically involved with her as well. He then accompanied the Rolling Stones on their 1971 U.K. tour in the hope of being signed to the newly formed Rolling Stones Records.

Parsons and Keith Richards had mulled the possibility of recording a duo album. Moving into Villa Nellcôte with the guitarist during the sessions for Exile on Main Street that commenced thereafter, Parsons remained in a consistently incapacitated state and frequently quarreled with his girlfriend, aspiring actress Gretchen Burrell who later become his wife.

Eventually, Parsons was asked to leave by Anita Pallenberg, Richards' longtime domestic partner. Decades later, Richards suggested in his memoir that Jagger may have been the impetus for Parsons' departure because Richards was spending so much time playing music with Parsons. Rumors have persisted that he appears somewhere on the legendary album, and while Richards concedes that it is very likely he is among the chorus of singers on "Sweet Virginia", this has never been substantiated. Parsons attempted to rekindle his relationship with the band on their 1972 American tour to no avail.

After leaving the Stones' camp, Parsons married Burrell in 1971 at his stepfather's New Orleans estate. Allegedly, the relationship was far from stable, with Burrell cutting a needy and jealous figure while Parsons quashed her burgeoning film career. Many of the singer's closest associates and friends claim that Parsons was preparing to commence divorce proceedings at the time of his death; the couple had already separated by this point.

In the summer of 1973, Parsons' Topanga Canyon home burned to the ground, the result of a stray cigarette. Nearly all of his possessions were destroyed with the exception of a guitar and a prized Jaguar automobile. The fire proved to be the last straw in the relationship between Burrell and Parsons, who moved into a spare room in Kaufman's house. While not recording, he frequently hung out and jammed with members of New Jersey–based country rockers Quacky Duck and His Barnyard Friends and the proto-punk Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers, who were represented by former Byrds manager Eddie Tickner.

Before formally breaking up with Burrell, Parsons already had a woman waiting in the wings. While recording, he saw a photo of a beautiful woman at a friend's home and was instantly smitten. The woman turned out to be Margaret Fisher, a high school sweetheart of the singer from his Waycross, Georgia, days. Like Parsons, Fisher had drifted west and became established in the Bay Area rock scene. A meeting was arranged and the two instantly rekindled their relationship, with Fisher dividing her weeks between Los Angeles and San Francisco at Parsons' expense.

Gram loved to visit Joshua Tree National Park. He would visit it often. Gram would frequently do psychedelic drugs and try to spot UFOs there. He told Phil Kauffman that he wanted his ashes spread there in Joshua National Tree Park since he loved that place and practically lived there when not in LA.

So he, Dale, Micheal, Phil, Gram's girlfriend Margaret, and Dale's unnamed girlfriend all went to stay at JNTP Inn. Where Gram got morphine from an unknown woman.

He injected himself and OD. Margaret shoved ice cubes up his ass and put him in a cold shower which worked. He was up and talking. Dale was left in charge to watch over Gram and then Gram stopped breathing. Dale tried CPR but failed. Margaret and Dale both watched Gram die. Finally they call a fucking ambulance and he's pronounced dead on arrival.

Now Gram’s stepfather is a POS okay. He wanted Gram buried in Louisiana so he could take Gram's little wealth and the family estate which didn't belong to the stepfather since he wasn't blood.

Phil and Micheal couldn't allow this. Gram wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread. So with a shit ton of booze to make an elephant drunk they take a loaned hearse, because you know everyone has a hearse on loan. They were dressed as cowboys. For as suits were “too itchy” to wear. The duo take his body back from the airport where he's meant to fly back to Louisiana back to Joshua National Tree Park.

So the duo crash in JNTP and they pour five gallons of gasoline on Gram and his coffin. Causing a fireball. But cremation and gasoline are different. So instead of having Gram's ashes they had a cooked charred Gram instead. Police were of course called. The duo was fined $750 each and made to do community service.Gram was sadly buried in Louisiana against his wishes but his stepfather didn't get anything.

Gram's wealth and estate were split between his wife, girlfriend, sister, and his daughter. And the family denied the whole illegal cremation happening and won't talk about it.

The end.

Omg that is a really good summary, very sad life tho and how he died but wow

#anon #I’m amazed #his life sounded depressing ngl

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fountainpenguin · 5 years

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A T.U.F.F. Timeline

An analysis of “T.U.F.F. Puppy” society and how it relates to my headcanoned Hartmanverse timeline (Healthy suspension of disbelief required). My intention was to unite all four Hartman shows in the same continuity, so alternate universe explanations were ruled out for this analysis.

If you enjoy reading my Hartman show ‘fics, I highly recommend skimming through this post so you won’t be confused down the road; this is now the official Riddleverse canon and references to it are fair game in my ‘fics. Plus I worked really hard on it and if you read it I will be glad (The post is about 5000 words; TL;DR found at bottom).

I will update my sideblog’s timeline(s) to include this information if you’d like to see it all laid out that way instead.

OH THE HUMANITY

First things first, humans are confirmed to exist in the TUFFverse. Evidence can be found in the episode “The Good, The Bad, and the Quacky:”

This TV card (assumed to be an in-universe card) depicts a human who walks upright and wears clothing. The implication is that humans in the TUFFverse are not treated as pets, but are considered a sapient people.

Furthermore, when skull decorations appear, they’re always modeled after human skulls. The skulls in Snaptrap’s skull collection appear to be human too.

HERE is a link to the Digital Morphology library if you’re interested in browsing its collection of animal skulls. Here is Dudley’s [stylized] skull compared with the skull of a Labrador Retriever, offering evidence that the animals have retained much of their animal anatomy and don’t have human skulls:

We could possibly conclude that Snaptrap has gathered human skulls over the years because he considers them an interesting collectible from the days of an ancient race. However, there is still evidence that humans are alive in modern TUFFverse times:

In “Dog House,” we see the skeleton of a hostage Snaptrap claims to have chained to the water heater himself. This skeleton appears to be human due to the shape of the skull and the lack of ear and tail bones.

In the episode “The Booby Trap,” we learned that it’s illegal to harm an endangered species. We can conclude that humans are probably not endangered species in this time period, because even though Snaptrap is a villain and might not have an issue with killing people, he probably wouldn’t have left an endangered species to starve in the middle of an open room that’s frequently visited by T.U.F.F. agents.

With this evidence in mind, we have reason to doubt that humans are extinct in this time period. Therefore, we can conclude that the Chameleon’s neighbor (Mrs. Ungerman) is a human who doesn’t shave her legs, and that she’s not an animal with balding legs, human-like feet, and a tail kept out of view:

We can assume that humans and animal people are both alive and thriving in the "T.U.F.F.” time period, and that they live alongside one another. However, it seems that there are fewer humans around, or that they avoid associating with the animals for the most part.

Most likely, human communities are still scattered throughout the world, but animal people are the most dominant lifeform (An estimate based on the lack of humans seen in the show and the existence of all the animal puns; in the FOP episode “Abra-Catastrophe,” we also saw an increase in animal puns once animals had become the dominant people of the planet). Assuming that all the animal people can be classified under a single racial label, I would argue that the animal people are by far the dominant race of the planet during this time and that fairy godparents are assigned to animal kids as a result.

THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND

In order to fit “T.U.F.F. Puppy” in the same continuity as the other Hartman shows, I’ve chosen to set it in the future, long after FOP, DP, and BIaB are over. In addition to the existence of animal people, background clues such as the circular doorways, blasters, and elaborate monorail system suggest “T.U.F.F.” is set in a slightly futuristic time period anyway:

A few people suggested that I set “T.U.F.F. Puppy” in the future after a magical war wiped out the humans (most if not all of them). Initially I resisted the idea because it interfered with some fanfic plans (I’ve established in my works that Poof and Foop attend school together, I’ve never mentioned a war, my plan has always been that global warming would flood the planet within a few hundred years and I had a big humans-become-mermaids plot set up, etc). Besides, my preferred genre is contemporary slice-of-life in a fantasy world, and I’m already writing the War of the Angels in two different stories. Trying to make yet another series of magical battles unique sounded like torture.

However, while watching “T.U.F.F.” it became apparent to me that there was no possible way to fit the show in my timeline if I didn’t discard my mermaid plans and prevent global warming floods, unless I wanted to set it during the 2000s with the other shows. The struggle of incorporating “T.U.F.F.”’s animal people and technology in modern times while maintaining the integrity of the other Hartman shows appealed to me even less. So, Riddleverse canon no longer includes a flooded planet plot, and the 130 Prompt “All I Ever Wanted” will soon be updated to reflect this (i.e. the will o’ the wisps will resettle in Pixie World due to a magical war pushing them from their homes rather than floods, and I’ll make changes to some future prompts I’ve been working on as well).

Fairy World’s timeline (that is, the emergence of certain aesthetics, beliefs, and technologies throughout Fairy World) roughly parallels ours, albeit at a different speed (the War of the Sunset Divide stands in for World War I and the War of the Angels stands in for World War II). Fairy World is currently paralleling the 50s (Butch said he designed Cosmo with the 50s aesthetic in mind). Because of this, I designed my version of older Poof with a counterculture aesthetic.

That means that a magical war paralleling the Vietnam War, which filled the 60s and 70s, would fit in Poof’s youth (He’s our flower child, and what’s a flower child without a war to protest?) Keeping with the parallel, I envision this would be a very long war (much longer than either of the two before it) with more and more fighters gradually drawn in.

My take on the Beasts is that they came into existence when regular animals were contaminated with leftover magic (known as “stinky magic” in FOP canon) that infected their food and water sources. I’ve already established in my ‘fics that this contamination was caused by mere magical pollution, so I imagine that a magical war would result in even higher concentrations of stinky magic on Earth (Note: The War of the Angels took place in Fairy World, Anti-Fairy World, and several planets throughout the galaxy and wasn’t centered on Earth itself).

We saw in the FOP episodes “Talkin’ Trash” and “Dust Busters” that Fairy magic, when left to fester, can have bizarre effects on the things around it, which is why I finally decided to be okay with discarding my original timeline plans in favor of a magical war. I haven’t made plans for this war yet, but I do know that I want it to take place on Earth. I want a magic-contaminated landscape to make the Chameleon’s anchor tree a legitimate plant, since he insists he grew it himself:

I imagine the creatures and plants now found in the Petropolis Rainforest were also affected by a magical war. Bringing more magic into a show that has anthro animals and extreme cartoon physics can only help, not hurt...

THAT’S ANCIENT HISTORY

If we argue that “T.U.F.F. Puppy” takes place in the same universe as the other Hartman shows, how do we explain the museum exhibits seen in the episode “The Curse of King Mutt”? After all, we see no humans here.

It’s important to remember that the universe we are playing with isn’t simply “Our world but with fairies and ghosts.” Beasts exist too. They were only driven underground officially in the early 1800s, meaning that they left their mark on the timeline throughout history. It can be argued that the cavemen and King Mutt seen above were Beasts who lived in ancient times in this universe (which seems more plausible than mummifying practices re-emerging in the future following a magical war that wiped out most of human society).

I imagine that after Beasts were forced underground, humans weren’t keen on showcasing moments of history that honored their kind. Historic Beast accomplishments were swept under the rug until Beasts filtered above ground again and earned respect in society; specifically, in a world dominated by animal people, the history of animal people would be more important than it was when humans dominated. During Timmy’s school years, Beasts might have appeared in history books, but only as passing mentions, and mostly in the context of the Creature Wars. Beast accomplishments would be ignored.

Is it reasonable to assume that the canine figures above could be Beasts? Perhaps. After all, not all Beasts are hybrids like Bunsen, or appear to be living pieces of furniture. Some, like Wolfie, resemble anthro animals:

My headcanon for Beasts is that they came into existence when regular animals were contaminated with Fairy magic, then bred and passed on strange abilities to their offspring. Over time, Beasts gained the ability to breed with other Beasts that their ancestors wouldn’t have been able to reproduce with (Bunsen shows both guinea pig and squid traits, among other things).

The animal people we see in “T.U.F.F.” are also able to crossbreed. Dudley was confirmed in “Purr-fect Partners” to have goat ancestry. Bird Brain belongs to an entirely new species (flightless blue-bottomed boobies) who most likely resulted from booby-descended Beasts crossbreeding with flightless birds (probably the takahē). The Chameleon appears to have gecko or anole genes since he can stick to walls, and perhaps snake genes as well since he sheds his skin as a whole instead of in pieces.

(Note: The Chameleon claims he sheds his skin “every night.” He grows it back within a few hours. This is most likely a rapid healing adaptation that resulted from having latent Fairy magic in his system. He flushes injuries off his skin very quickly and can partially regenerate. Some lizards - again, anoles - can grow their tails back if they lose them, so I imagine the Chameleon might even have the ability to regenerate arms and legs again if injured.)

For classification purposes, I will henceforth refer to the animal people as Animals, with the capital A, to distinguish them from the Beasts (This is a time period / show difference, so Wolfie will still be classified as a Beast).

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

We’ll now take a close look at Petropolis and estimate when it was founded. The city itself is a blend of futuristic and old-fashioned, making this a world where corded telephones sit side by side with shiny computers, high-tech wall lamps provide the light to read messy bulletin boards, and automatic doors slide upwards to reveal kitchens full of stovepipes. Split-level rooms with a metallic aesthetic are accented with wooden borders. The raised speedways throughout the city are supported by columns of Grecian design, and populated with a mix of sleek, modern cars and old, boxy trucks.

Petropolis is confirmed to be in California (“The Booby Trap”). It appears to parallel Los Angeles since its population (3,792,621; revealed in “Dog House”) is exactly the same as the population of Los Angeles according to the 2010 census. Notably, previous analysis of Dimmsdale, given its history of being settled by the British rather than the Spanish, has already removed Los Angeles from the equation in my fanfics (Dimmsdale stands in its place, with the Dimmsdale sign taking the place of the Hollywood sign).

With Dimmsdale and Petropolis both taking the role of Los Angeles in their respective shows, and with “T.U.F.F. Puppy” set in the future, we can suppose Petropolis was built on the remains of Dimmsdale in the future after Dimmsdale was wiped off the map (presumably due to that magical war; I’ve already established that Fairy World’s capital city is located just above Dimmsdale, which would make it a prime target in battle).

I also like the idea of setting Petropolis on Dimmsdale’s remains because in FOP, the Rainbow Bridge to Fairy World is confirmed to touch down at the edge of Dimmsdale. If Petropolis is built on Dimmsdale’s remains, we can parallel the Rainbow Bridge poetry series intended to help people grieve for their lost pets.

The founder of Petropolis was Daniel Boone Loony, and it was revealed in “Legal Beagle” that his great-great grandson, George, lives in the T.U.F.F. agency’s stairwell.

Let’s estimate George’s age at 30 for the purpose of this calculation. Assuming that the Animals live human lifespans, we can estimate Petropolis was likely founded 110 to 165 years before the series (For this analysis, we’ll call it in the middle of those estimates and say Petropolis was founded approximately 135 years before the show takes place).

We’ll keep that in mind as we shift to another “T.U.F.F. Puppy” town that’s hinted to be older: Critter Creek. Critter Creek is described as an old Western desert town despite being quite modern by our standards:

It’s implied the town was founded by Gold-Digger Gary (or if it wasn’t founded by him, he was one of its prominent early citizens). If Gary’s statue is accurate, he is clearly an animal, not a human, so we can assume that animal people were sapient beings who walked upright, wore clothes, and were capable of founding towns more than 135 years ago. (Side note: A presumed relative of Dudley’s fought the Loch Ness monster 100 years pre-series).

Since Critter Creek is described as an old Western town, we can expect it was built perhaps 100 years before Petropolis. Clearly, the town has grown over time into a booming city full of skyscrapers and monorails, which exist side by side with buildings of wood and stone:

Critter Creek presumably began life as a wooden town and rapidly expanded as technology improved. In fact, technology seems to have improved so quickly that Critter Creek just kept expanding without knocking down its previous wooden buildings, which were still in perfect living conditions and weren’t worth bulldozing. This rapid development may have even occurred within a single lifetime. In contrast, Petropolis appears to have been designed deliberately with its futuristic layout, suggesting its materials were available from the start.

I imagine, then, that a lengthy magical war ended up shifting to Earth and that Dimmsdale was wiped off the map. Many humans didn’t survive this war (Perhaps magical toxins filled the air and turned some of them into objects, plants, animals, or just killed off a lot of them). The humans that did survive migrated to cities that were still standing where they could access resources (especially fresh water; many water sources were likely contaminated with stinky magic in high concentrations humans couldn’t handle).

We saw in “T.U.F.F.” that Animals seem to be running the northern hemisphere; Animals lead many countries and undercover fighting forces of Animals exist around the world. The capitals of Fairy World, Anti-Fairy World, and Pixie World are all located in the northern hemisphere in my headcanon. The skies above the southern hemisphere are far less populated by magical beings, so it’s possible that the magical war ravaged the northern hemisphere and left the land nearly inhospitable to humans. Humans still exist in “T.U.F.F. Puppy,” and some do still live in the northern half of the planet, but the remaining human population is small and most have shifted to the south.

You know what else is interesting about this “only the northern hemisphere is ruled by Animals” theory?

There seems to be a canon distinction between the two halves. Humans are presumably more common in the south while Animals dominate the north.

DAWN OF AN ERA

Critter Creek was one of the early settlements to spring up after the war. Judging from its name, it wasn’t founded by humans. Buildings were constructed of wood because those were the building materials available at the time- in the wake of the war’s destruction, building many homes and shops quickly was a priority. Once people were settled, they could begin expanding their towns. The technology had already been invented, so implementing it didn’t take long once people were back on their feet. As a result, in modern “T.U.F.F.” times we have a society that blends futuristic and old-fashioned technology.

The T.U.F.F. agency itself (and its counterparts around the world) likely sprang up shortly after the war. I imagine it was a chaotic period for several decades. Humans were learning that much of the northern hemisphere couldn’t support them now that uncontaminated water was hard to come by, while the Beasts most resistant to the stinky magic toxins (AKA the ones from family lines who were least affected by it, AKA those who most resembled animals since their biology wasn’t altered as extremely) were able to survive. Beasts who were less resistant to stinky magic continued producing genetically unstable children who were less adaptive to the environment than the more stable animal-like Beasts.

It’s worth noting that in “Hide and Ghost Seek,” Keswick was convinced there is no scientific evidence of ghosts. Such evidence, it would seem, was lost during this period of chaos. By modern “T.U.F.F.” times, Ghosts were presumably spending most of their time in the Ghost Zone. Stable portals between the Ghost Zone and the Living Realm (the Fenton portal and Vlad’s portal) have likely been damaged by this point, so Ghosts only occasionally slip out of the Zone. I imagine that during this chaotic time, the northern hemisphere looked like the bad future we see in Danny Phantom:

Bleak and destroyed. Water sources and farms were contaminated with magic, abandoned by humans and left for surviving Beasts and animals. I wouldn’t mind headcanoning that TUFFverse future Amity Park looks a lot like it did in the bad future here. Amity Park has always been a high-tech city, after all, and various shields probably went up eventually, whether Danny Phantom was evil or not.

So you have this sci-fi human empire in Minnesota that survived the magical war due to it having shielded itself (while most of the country mocked it, I’m sure). It likely expanded to be a huge metropolis bit by bit, drawing in humans from across the nation who sought shelter and resources. Humans still exist in TUFFverse America, but are not widespread. For the most part, Animals rule.

Critter Creek was built in this kind of desolate world. People scavenged for technology, and banding together helped people survive. Many people who got their hands on advanced tech chose to pillage others. Thus, we see the rise of criminal organizations and rogue troublemakers alike. T.U.F.F. and its counterpart organizations sprang up when vigilantes with a strong moral code desired to protect people. In “Internal Affairs,” we saw the Chief viewing old black and white films that depicted him as a young field agent. Most likely, anything high tech that had been scavenged was claimed by powerful forces like T.U.F.F. and criminal organizations, forcing the general public (including news crews) to rely on older technology.

Critter Creek was most likely built away from old, destroyed cities and its main purpose was to provide shelter quickly with the materials available. Sending a helicopter from Petropolis was considered a reasonable way to pick Dudley and Kitty up after they visited Critter Creek in “Golden Retriever.” The city seems fond of neon, so it’s possibly located in Nevada, not far from Las Vegas, where scraps of neon might have been available.

From its name, we can assume it was built by Beasts who survived the war. Over the next several decades, those who couldn’t adapt to the extreme magic contamination died off, and the more animal-like Beasts survived. This perhaps took 125 years, which allows time for a few generations to pass but doesn’t last too long (People do have access to advanced technology, after all, and sooner or later it will be put to use). That’s the same amount of time between Gold Rush times (1849) and the 1970s. Now imagine having access to advanced technology in that time period and gradually learning how it works and how to build more of it. Presto! A blended old West and futuristic city.

~150 years after Critter Creek was built, Petropolis was founded by Daniel Boone Loony over the ruins of Dimmsdale, which were deemed hospitable by that point. If he’s anything like his namesake, he likely fought his way through the wilderness to the site; Daniel Loony might have been his birth name and “Boone” a nickname added on later. The Petropolis Rainforest is a canon area surrounding Petropolis, and is known for its strange creatures and plants. If Dimmsdale was blasted with magic during a magical war, it’s likely the rainforest sprang up around the ruins over the next several decades.

This store that exists in “T.U.F.F.”-

-is a pants store that was rebuilt by Animals where a pants store used to stand in Dimmsdale. The store was damaged, but the merchandise sold there was obvious, so after it was fixed it continued to sell large pants. After ruling out alternate universes, that’s the best I can do with the 1980 timestamp. Expect me to slip a mention of a pants store into one of my FOP ‘fics (either Come What May or Along the Cherry Lane) just because I can.

~135 years after Petropolis was built, we have the present “T.U.F.F.” day and age. As water sources were gradually purified, a few humans migrated out of the safezones where they’d hidden and began to mingle in Animal-run towns. Advanced technologies, which had been seized by powerful organizations, gradually made their way to average citizens, so old films were replaced with color TV, corded phones with cell phones, and so on.

Year 0 - Just after the war; Critter Creek was founded by surviving Beasts in the next few years.

Year 150 - Around the time Petropolis was built.

Year 285 - Around present day; this is when the show takes place.

YEARS IN REVIEW

So if we’ve established that “T.U.F.F. Puppy” takes place in the future, when might it take place? I did some calculations using timeline clues (which I decided not to include in this post due to length) and determined that the show spans about a decade of time.

Butch mentioned in one of his videos that Snaptrap is 35, so I’ll say he was 35 about halfway through the show since that’s nice and average. That puts him at 30 when the show starts and 40 when it ends. The Chameleon seems slightly younger than him, so I’ll say he’s 30 when Snaptrap is 35. Bird Brain was confirmed to be 23 at the end of Season 1, so we’ll mark him down as 25 midway through Season 2. Let’s say Dudley was 22 when the series started, so he’s about 32 when it ends- still in his prime the whole way through.

Kitty is a bit older than him. She mentions in “Toast of T.U.F.F.” that she attended 8 years of “secret agent college,” and she probably spent 3 years at a university before that starting at age 18 for a total of 11 years of schooling. Then we’ll give her 5 years of field experience before Dudley arrives (4 with her former partner, Jack, and 1 on her own). 18 + 11 + 5 puts her at 34 when the show starts. At the end of Season 2 (“Pup Goes the Weasel”) Dudley guessed she was 30 and Snaptrap guessed she was 42. Snaptrap’s made clear that he’s into older women, so this works with his crush on her.

In the latter half of Season 2 (“Sob Story”) we see the Chief’s credit card due to expire in a year that ends with ‘19.

We can conclude that “Sob Story” (Year 9 by my tentative calculations) takes place either in a year that ends with 19 or a few years prior. 2019 is off the table, and so are the next few hundred years.

In “Quacky Birthday” (two years prior) Dudley marked his birthday on his calendar. I chose to work with this calendar because it’s also in Season 2, just a few episodes before “Sob Story” (though one of the episodes between them, “Agent of the Year,” takes up a year on its own, and “Crime Takes a Holiday,” which is also between them, is confirmed for January).

We can assume the thin boxes along the calendar’s top are labels for the days of the week, and that his calendar begins with Sunday. Many cartoon calendars begin with the first box and aren’t meant to be interpreted literally, but I went with it anyway because it’s what I had. I began searching for future calendars to see if there were any with the 1st on a Monday shortly before a year that ends with 19 (since if the card is due to expire in a ‘19 year, it can’t have been issued more than a few years before). Here is what I learned:

May 1st occurs on a Monday in x017, x417, and x817 years when x is an even number. When x is an odd number, May 1st occurs on a Monday in x217 and x617. Therefore, we can cross-reference Dudley’s calendar with the Chief’s credit card expiration date and argue that “Sob Story” (episode with Chief’s credit card; Year I in my notes) is an xx17 year. The first 5 or fewer episodes of the series (Year A) would take place in an xx09 year (Episode 3 is confirmed August and Episode 6 is confirmed March, meaning the year changes in between unless we start rearranging things).

Based on this, we can determine where I can set “T.U.F.F.” in my headcanon to the year if we can just determine the century. That means turning to my FOP timeline to figure out when the best place to set a magical war is, keeping in mind that I want it to be a few thousand years in the future at most- nowhere beyond the year 10,000. I don’t want to go too far forward since although the technology in “T.U.F.F.” is fairly advanced, it isn’t THAT advanced.

Looking at my timeline, I actually don’t have anything going on between the original Cavatina drama (1,000 years post-series) and Poof and Foop being tweens (about 123,000 years post-series). So I have plenty of space to put a war, especially now that I’m no longer planning to work mermaids in there.

Fairy World is currently in its 50s aesthetic period, and has been since before Cosmo and Wanda were married. The Vietnam War officially began in 1955, so this magical war is due to happen fairly soon after Timmy Turner’s time period. I can’t have the war going on during the first few years of Cavatina’s life, so setting “T.U.F.F.” in the early 3000s won’t work for me.

I want the war to be going on for some time before Dimmsdale is hit, but I also want it to continue going on for a long time afterwards (I want Fairies to be too busy with the war that they can’t afford to pause and rebuild America, and again, I don’t want human technology to be TOO advanced at this point).

With that in mind, I think I’m going to start this magical war in the 3500s. We’ll assume it’s between the Fairies and the Anti-Fairies. At first, the fighting is contained to the cloudlands. Then the first human city to be targeted, Dimmsdale, is destroyed around the year 3700 by the Anti-Fairies, which finally spurs the Pixies into action. Pixies generally stay neutral, but when magic strays to Earth and starts causing chaos, they’re going to get involved (Plus, Fairy World’s capital city is right above Dimmsdale, so perhaps it was the target and that would get the Pixies involved too). This sets “T.U.F.F. Puppy” 2000 years in the future, which is nice and easy to remember. The magical war continues for hundreds (or thousands) of years.

I have a few ideas I can draw on for this war... Somewhere in my plans, there’s a block of time where Anti-Cosmo vanishes without warning and Anti-Wanda and Foop are left to run Anti-Fairy World without him for a few hundred years. I was originally going to set the one-shot in question 100-500 years after FOP ends, but I can easily bump it forward by a thousand years. I’d really like to see an entire war play out while Anti-Wanda and Foop are in charge and Anti-Cosmo is nowhere to be found...

Currently, the story that discusses this “Anti-Cosmo is AWOL” time period is the 130 Prompt “You’ll Never Know,” which is scheduled to post 7 prompts from now (probably January 2020). Keep your eyes out for that one if you want to see a glimpse into the war, because I don’t plan to write an entire ‘fic about it. The prompt will begin either immediately after Dimmsdale is destroyed or immediately before it. That will be fun.

We concluded earlier that “T.U.F.F. Puppy” begins in an xx09 year. Based on my calculations (which were based on the order the episodes were produced with very little rearranging), we can now assume that the series begins in the summer of 4009 and ends in the summer of 4018. I believe this would put the TUFFverse roughly 65-80 generations after modern times.

The biggest issue I have with this timeline at the moment is getting the populations of Critter Creek and Petropolis to 3 million+ each. We’re going to assume that many Animals give birth to entire litters (despite the fact that each mom in the egg maternity ward in the episode “Bad Eggs” appeared to have only one or two eggs) and just roll with it.

TL;DR

In this post, we concluded that-

“T.U.F.F. Puppy” takes place in the future long after “Fairly OddParents,” “Danny Phantom,” and “Bunsen Is a Beast.”

A horrible magical war devastated the land. Amity Park survived intact, protected by a high-tech shield.

The Animals are an anthropomorphic people descended from the Beasts. They are capable of crossbreeding with other Animals and have inherited their ancestors’ resiliency to a great deal of physical damage.

Humans are still around in this time period (Side note: They’re incapable of breeding with the Animals due to the differing levels of latent Fairy magic in their systems).

The Animals rule the north hemisphere while humans rule the south.

Animals are considered the most dominant race on the planet and fairy godparents are assigned to Animal kids, not human ones.

“T.U.F.F. Puppy” begins in the year 4009 and ends in the year 4018.

So, this is how the four Hartman shows fall in my united timeline.

FOP - The fae population has been around for millions of years, and will continue for millions more. They’ve devised elaborate interaction systems that allow them to gain supplies from and trade goods with some groups of people while remaining a mystery to others. Despite their magic powers (or perhaps because of them), the fae fear being taken advantage of by the wrong people. They won’t hesitate to cut ties with individuals or entire societies if they deem that’s what’s best for their people.

DP - Ghosts have always been hated and feared, and for the most part were driven into the Ghost Zone by the mid 1600s. Even before then, large populations didn’t roam the land; Ghosts tend to be territorial, solitary creatures who don’t travel in groups. Mostly they remain in the Ghost Zone, though some have their reasons for wanting to slip out.

BIaB - Beasts were driven underground in the early 1800s; the small town of Muckledunk, founded in 1805, guards a known entrance to Beast World. Before this, Beasts roamed the land and were treated as intelligent, dangerous monsters. Their earliest ancestors (animals contaminated with Fairy magic) came into existence about 250,000 years before the year 2000.

TUFF - The Animals are descended from families of Beasts who were still biologically close to their early animal ancestors (AKA Beasts who were affected by stinky Fairy magic enough to develop into an anthro race, but weren’t harmed to the point of genetic instability). “T.U.F.F. Puppy” takes place in the early 4000s, and the Animal society we see in it grew from a land left devastated after a horrible magical war.

There it is! Thanks for reading, and please enjoy my fanfics! Now that I’ve finished analyzing “T.U.F.F.,” ‘fic updates will resume this summer (that’s 2019 for anyone analyzing my own timeline down the road).

#No 'fic update but you get this instead #I just really needed it off my plate #Eyyy Hartman gang!#ridwriting #Timeline #Spy dog show #FAIRIES!#Beasty such a beaut #Going ghost!#screenshots #Long post

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