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#if you ask me things... i will do the thing!
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I think a lot of what's currently informing my fellow white people curdling like milk and shitting their pants when asked to interrogate their relationship with rap is the way many people (especially well-meaning white people) still can't help but think of racism as something that you get accused of rather than something that influences the entire world in pernicious ways.
like, I think a lot of people currently posting the most cringe takes about rap right now would very much agree that Racism Is Bad and probably even acknowledge that rap has been and is still widely maligned and devalues for racist reasons.
but that last step, acknowledging that your personal tastes and interests are also influenced by systemic racism, is where a LOT of people stumble. it's very easy to assume that because you consider yourself against racism, then your tastes and interests cannot possibly be at all informed by racist. if you're a white American, that's simply extremely unlikely to be true.
speaking from personal experience, I had to Work to decenter whiteness in my media tastes. when I was like 19 I listened to a podcast where a white Jewish man talked about keeping a spreadsheet of the books he read to make sure he was reading a roughly equal number of men and women, and I started doing the same thing to track how many authors of color I was reading. at the time I took pride in my belief that I was reading diversely, but when the year ended I was shocked to discover that people of color had written barely a quarter of the books I'd read. I had been giving myself way too much credit while still unintentionally prioritizing white authors, because white authors were the ones I knew best. so I started making an extremely conscious effort to seek out books by authors of color, both fiction and nonfiction, that sounded like my kind of shit.
music was extremely similar. I grew up a little white girl in a very white city in a very white state; nobody was offering me an education in rap or r&b or soul or hip hop. as an young adult there were definitely some Black artists I liked, like Janelle Monáe, but I had to take the initiative of seeking out more artists to find out who I fuck with. you're not going to like everybody, which is fine, but are you even giving anyone a chance? are you even looking?
racism has roots everywhere, bro. it's not enough to just acknowledge it, you have to actively get digging.
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gallusrostromegalus · 12 hours
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In the latest installment of me Terrorizing Medical Professionals, I got my Wisdom Teeth extracted because one decided to be an asshole and the other 3 were pending assholery, and demonstrated to my dentist that it's entirely possible to out-metabolize Ketamine if you start moving ASAP and also have a freakishly powerful liver.
So yesterday I had my one-month Checkup. It went pretty great, and the dentist asked if any part of my mouth was bothering me.
"Yeah, there's a sharp bit of bone coming out through the side from the extraction in my lower right jaw. The bone spur itself doesn't hurt, but it keeps cutting my tongue, so can you just pull it?" "Oh. Sure! Let me go get everything to do that." she said, and went to go get the tools for the extraction.
...Then there was some kind of confusion at the front desk I could overhear, with someone showing up with an urgent problem and they had to juggle the available staff, so she came back a bit later with the Pliers, said something about something taking "long enough" and went in.
It came out in two pieces, and the most discomfort I had was like, a 3/10 from the extraction itself, but mostly from keeping my mouth open.
...About halfway through, the Hygienist came in, apologizing for being late getting back from the front desk.
"Oh good, you have her the Novocaine!" the hygienist sighs with relief.
"What?" Said my dentist.
"What?" said the hygienist.
Both of them turn to look at the very full syringe on the tool table behind me.
"Honestly this is bothering me way less than the shot would." I said, lightly dribbling blood, and they both turn to me in horror.
"I really hate needles." I explain.
"What." says the dentist.
"Woah." Says the hygienist. "You would have done great in like, The Civil War."
Which is probably the funniest thing anyone's every said about my dangerously high pain tolerance.
Anyway, it was a one-off issue, and a non-issue for me because I think a normal person would have stopped her, so I go back in August if she doesn't recommend me to someone else for terrifying her twice in as many visits.
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neil-gaiman · 3 days
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hi neil! big fan! first time i've mustered the courage to ask you a question, haha.
it's good omens related: i've heard a lot of people (and been infuriated by them) over the past nine months saying that you only did the kiss because of the fan pressure. i want to know whether this is true or if you still would've done the kiss had the fandom not been begging you.
tysm for reading this! can't wait for season 3!
No, I came up with the kiss in December 2019 because John Finnemore and I had spent a day talking about the general plot of Season 2, when, late in the afternoon, sitting by the Regents Canal, John asked how it was actually going to finish, because, he told me, he is the kind of writer who needs to know how something is going to end before ever he starts. (I'm the kind of writer who normally finds out how things end when I get there.)
And when he asked, I thought for a bit about where I wanted to be at the start of Season 3, and then I described the last ten minutes of Episode 6 to John, including the kiss.
Given that we wouldn't tell anyone that we were doing more Good Omens for another 18 months, the daily asks saying "THEY HAVE TO KISS IN THE NEXT SEASON OTHERWISE YOU ARE QUEERBAITING US" had not started to come in yet, and by the time they did, the kiss, along with the rest of the scripts, had long since been written.
(And at no time has any fan ever pressured me to write a kiss at the end of Episode 6 that would break their heart.)
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seelestia · 2 days
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✧ i'll show you (if you'll let me).
⎯ there is a certain touch of beauty to witnessing a side of theirs revealed to you so naturally. it becomes as easy as breathing if you just let it happen... so, will you? ( or in other words, a way you enable them to be themselves. )
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#STARRING. aventurine, dr. ratio, sunday, dan heng ft. gn!reader. { 4.2k words }
#TAGS. fluff, established relationship. more: minor spoilers for aven's backstory (described mostly abstractly), ratio is referred to by his first name, i called sunday a nerd (sorry), dr. ratio & dan heng are certified workaholics.
#P/S. i think i may have yapped a little considering the word count but i hope it ends up being a good kind of yapping. tysm for reading! ♡
© seelestia on tumblr, may 2024. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
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will you let aventurine hold you close when he sleeps? . . . whether it's an arm slung over your hips or his nose buried in your shoulder or fingers tracing shapes onto your skin. he doesn't ask for too much; only that you grant him the permission to cradle you in his arms, somewhere within his reach. it's a habit, he hopes you don't mind.
you have to wonder, though. considering the plenitude of pillows on the bed, why do his hands still seek you out? with all the credits he spent on those cotton-stuffed angels, you thought aventurine would relish them a bit more. but ah-ah, see? that is where you're wrong. sure, the pillows are extremely comfy but he always has a preference for things with much, much more value.
and the truth — well, his truth — is that even the softest cushions from oti mall couldn't compare to the privilege of laying his head on your chest, he'd say. especially when you brush his hair with your fingers - oh, one of the easiest ways to paradise. truly, the best value there is! can you blame a man for being honest and a little lovesick?
(“sappy,” you accuse. he pouts, offended.)
but aventurine has a flair for theatrics, you know that. his witty quips are as feather-light in weight as light-hearted they are in intent. but his touch - in the forms of kind caresses or rhythmic taps to a tune from his forgotten culture - lingers on your skin, with a yearning so heavy. you question whether it could be nostalgia or instead, silent awe at a reality he never imagined could ever be his.
(kakavasha remembers. clinging onto you for warmth like he once did to his sister, falling asleep with her prayers to mama fenge in his ears. the avgins believed gaiathra triclops to be the symbol of humility; so naturally, their prayers to her should also be humble, not too quiet but not too loud. all in moderation. for a frail child like him, those gentle prayers alone were enough to let him drift into a dreamless slumber and to ignore the shackles of reality if not for the briefest moments.
time passed. came a time where the melody he associated with slumber was no longer a soft voice lulling him but pure static, a noise to distract his mind from the chains around his wrists. they burned themselves onto his skin, searing, but he was already too familiar with the sensation to care. the mark on his neck was unwelcome, laughing at him, but he too laughed at his own pitiful reflection so what's the difference, anyway?
time passed again, the call of slumber then turned into clattering noises of chips doused in gold and dice thrown onto a surface. he thought it'd stay that way forever but before long, it morphed into up-and-down waves he couldn't decipher initially. they're gentle, faint like a human's breathing: your breathing as you allowed him to lie beside you for the first time, he realized back then. although he deems himself unworthy, an ugly grime on your pristine existence that still insists on cradling him — but despite it all, he finds this last melody to be his favorite so far.)
✧ a moment among the stars:
ticklish.
the sensation, minor yet still impactful enough, causes you to stir out of sleep. the light of noon greets your eyes and you become vaguely cognizant that the root of it all is the tufts of blond hair brushing against your neck.
there is a solid weight on your torso and a pair of slender arms loosely wrapped around your waist - but they're nothing you haven't grown used to. you comb your fingers through the messy locks licking at your skin, instinctively, and the fragrant scent of what you register as penacony's limited edition perfume kisses your nose.
“...ugh, what system time is it?” you let out a grunt, shifting around slightly to let your limbs breathe. you don't get an answer to your question, instead, aventurine's arms reestablish their hold on you. hooking you closer to him as if to wring out whatever proximity is left, if there is even any. his simple proclamation of “who cares?”, in a sense.
there it is again, that ticklish feeling. you feel soft lips grazing feather-like kisses against your collarbone. oh, he definitely isn't letting go just yet. truly merciless, a dozy morning thought accompanied by your tired sigh. the noise still comes out fond, however, so your feigned act of annoyance is fooling no one.
“it's warm, you know,” you grumble. but the yawn escaping your mouth right after betrays whatever stern image you're trying to adopt. not like you can ever be too stern with him. aventurine knows this, yes, and he gives you an A+ for effort each time.
“mhm,” he finally speaks, snuggling into your chest with no care about anything in the world, “g'morning to you too, lovely.”
his favorite mornings aren't his favorite if not thanks to your innocuous complaints and delightful attempts at pushing his pretty face away, no? a lazy grin graces the stoneheart's lips and eyes like exquisite gems, although sleepy, flutter open to gaze at you languidly. he takes the sight of you in then lets out a sigh - a fond noise just like yours earlier; the both of you really are two peas of a pod.
you must look a terrible mess right now and yet, the sight of you has aventurine smiling dazedly. “ah, what a spectacular sight. i really am the luckiest man in the galaxy,” he hums in approval. you want to roll your eyes but stops as he leans up to pepper (ah, one necessary correction: smother) kisses all over your face, arms dragging you closer to his chest like a cage. your eyes widen comically. what a nefarious trap, he has the advantage!
every remnant of sleepiness clinging to your mind evaporates. you squeal with laughter, shoving at his shoulder using the strength of a baby deer because no, you don't really want him to stop. he knows that too, of course.
“mwah, mwah, mwah—”
“pfft...! kakavasha, i can't breathe!”
(he has half a mind to pinch his skin, as if to remind himself that this is real. he can feel your giggles tickling his skin as if to tell him in return: yes, you are.)
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will you let veritas pour his heart out after a long day? . . . well, that could count as too much of an overstatement. others say, “that man is like a brick wall!” some more dare to whisper, “doesn't his temper already exhaust whatever emotional quota he has?!” needless to say, everyone knows that dr. ratio is a man ruled by the mind, not by the heart. alright, that's quite true - but does that imply he has discarded the latter altogether? if so, then you beg to differ.
(not in the literal sense, of course! the heart is a vital organ of the body. saying otherwise would be akin to spitting on his shiny phd in biology... or his seven other phd's at that.)
the pedestal which the public places veritas ratio on reaches still great heights, even if it may not rival an ivory tower a member of the genius society resides in. it is so high up that mundane troubles of those below can't reach a genius like him, surely? well, as tall as he stands - somehow, the universe grants you a front row seat for a particular sight that proves otherwise.
if only they knew the doctor has a habit of mumbling these incomprehensible (more like barely intelligible) grumbles under his breath, striking a resemblance similar to a grumpy old cat. if you strain your ears hard enough, you might catch a “...this has to be it...” or “...i dare not think so...” from time to time as he roams around the room with materials in his hands.
(absurd, people would say. but you think it's extremely cute.)
veritas doesn't say it out loud - but you can tell by the hunch in his stiff shoulders, by the one or two sighs he huffs every six minutes - that he is itching to tell somebody of all the tomfooleries he has encountered today. of course, the topics he laments about vary; it's only when you hear him exhaling the loudest sigh that you get to find out.
mostly though, it's about his students and remarks on how they can further improve their performance — sure, he could phrase it a little gentler — but you still find it sweet that he cares. if not that, then it'd be about indolent colleagues, complicated formulae and more. on some days, he'll even let out an exasperated “truly mind-boggling! could you believe that?” to which you'd reply with an “uh-huh, go on.”
at the end of a ranting session, veritas takes careful note to leave a kiss on your person afterward. no matter where it is - on the lips, the cheek or your hand. no matter where you are - sitting on the couch beside him, behind the kitchen counter or across the room. the warmth that stays on your skin when he pulls away is somewhat tingly. appreciative, you think, especially when he looks at you with such loving eyes that his colleagues would be sure to retch in shock if they were a witness.
looks like you are right on the money; he has never discarded his heart, after all. so yes, to rephrase - will you lend veritas a listening ear when he needs it?
✧ a moment among the stars:
“...yet another headache.”
as unsubtle as ever, the doctor's complaint is barely hidden behind the guise of a mumble. those neatly styled violet bangs of his aren't doing an excellent job at concealing that frown strewn across his forehead either. veritas's posture is tense, a dead giveaway, as he goes over the piles of documents on his desk.
you cock an eyebrow upon seeing the stamp belonging to the intelligentsia guild on one of the papers. definitely work. it has been two system hours since he took a seat at the work desk, you concur, or lifted a finger to do something besides flipping through drafts. a mere glance at the stack of documents is enough to convince you that those researchers at the guild must really value veritas's input.
a perk of being a genius, maybe? the phantom of a weight lands alight on your shoulders. with a mug of black coffee in hand, you make your way to him. your footsteps are without a sound, only the noise of porcelain being placed down onto woodenware is enough to announce your arrival. “rough day at work?” you ask, peering down at his progress.
(a doctor's handwriting really is something. you resist the urge to squint.)
veritas doesn't seem to mind. if the way he smiles at the sight of you, albeit tiredly, is any indication. “hah,” he rests a hand on his temple and scoffs wryly, “so much grievances like you wouldn't believe.”
oh, he is teetering on the precipice of a tangent but stops himself. “...fret not, i'm fine. this is hardly something beyond my expertise,” he shakes his head, the motion causing his reading glasses to slide down a smidgen down the bridge of his nose.
you're too familiar with the self-assured bravado he puts on. you're quite endeared, actually. “okay, mr. i-require-no-rest,” you take the glasses off his face and he breaks into a frown. at the childish tone you're using or for having his reading glasses taken away, you don't know.
“why don't you take a little break?” you suggest. veritas sighs, “need i remind you that dilly-dallying is for fools who wish to waste their time?” and crosses his arms defiantly. he knows your strategy, he has come face-to-face with it several times.
“do you think a break with me is a waste of time?” you present him with a rhetorical question, quite the difficult adversary.
(and he keeps losing to it every single time.)
“well, that's—” the doctor nearly splutters, taken aback. “that's different if you insist on inserting yourself as a variable,” he infers, putting emphasis on the last part accompanied by an incredulous look.
“the answer is up for debate then,” you shrug with a cheeky smile. your hand then deftly lifts the mug you previously set down to your lips, veritas's eyes dilate in bewilderment. “so,” you hum at the rich taste of your handiwork, “wanna tell me about your day? haven't heard about the council in a while.”
“you—” he gasps in defeat, “i thought that was supposed to be my mug of coffee.”
(he has a slight pout on his face, but you dare not point it out lest it disappears in the blink of an eye.)
“our mug of coffee,” you take a few more sips with an innocent decadence. “all is fair in love and war, doctor.”
“i can never win with you,” he buries his face in his palm with a groan. you laugh heartily, a sound that chimes like quaint little bells in his ears - it elicits a reaction from his lips, for them to quirk up at the corners in the smallest of ways.
“regardless. . .” veritas relents and reaches for your free hand. you let him. “it seems a break wouldn't be so amiss, after all,” he then presses a kiss on the side of your wrist, affectionate.
(your heart skips a beat.)
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will you let sunday regale you with facts you've never heard of before? . . . a man of eloquent words, no less a man of educated mind. you have no doubt that the books in the dewlight pavilion really aren't just there for show - not that you're allowed to browse through them at your own desire. a servant's voice would stop you in your tracks should your fingers ever brush against something in the family's secret bookshelf.
how mysterious.
but sunday makes it known to the staff that you, in particular, are allowed more access to the shelves - perhaps, not too much - but more than even mr. mccoy, at least. with the way you have to crane your neck far up to pinpoint the tallest height that the shelves reach, you wonder: has sunday gone through everything here personally?
your immediate answer is most likely. you know sunday fairly well; to have something that he hasn't scrutinized from the inside out in his possession will surely gnaw away at his psyche incessantly. not being in the know at all times is a looming fear for him. but of course, you have other ways to confirm the answer for yourself.
pick out a book from a shelf there, either intentional or purely arbitrary, and watch as sunday carefully traces his steps towards you. his curiosity is piqued, which topic has caught your interest this time? but he tucks it under proper cordiality. with a hand behind his back, he'd utter your name in the softest tone and ask the familiar question of “would you like to know more?” — asking for your permission to ramble, essentially — you find this tendency of his to be charming, so you nod each time.
(and he smiles when you do. a smile less refined at the edges, kinder and relaxed.)
the best place to start from is always the beginning. you think sunday agrees because he often starts by telling you the history and its origins before moving on to its impact on the galaxy, then his personal stance on the topic. it's a pattern, you notice, his ramblings have a pattern. and it's consistent every time, you might've believed he was reading off a script. and what's more? sunday is blissfully oblivious of it.
fascinating. you ponder: what kind of things you can do with this information? decisions, decisions, decisions. . . but ultimately, you opt for keeping it a secret like a treasure only you're allowed to see.
(that might be true in a way. you don't doubt that robin, his dear sister, is familiar with this side of him. does that mean he treasures you like he does her? your chest starts to feel a bit lighter.)
if you were to point it out, you fear you might never witness it again - goodness, to know that he has been displaying such foolishness or rather, what he viewed as an embarrassing freudian slip in front of you? his wings might as well resort to covering his face for good until the end of time.
as you listen to him talk (with such elegance at that), you can't help whatever tender look you have on your face. really, who would've thought the head of the oak family could be such. . . a nerd?
(you hope in secret that sunday will be more willing to show sides like these to you in the future. and that they're not a weakness at all, not when they're shared with you.)
✧ a moment among the stars:
“it looks like you're fascinated by the dreamscape nursery rhyme this time.”
sunday spares the article in your hold no further inspection. one glance at the cover and walls of memorized information rush to the front of his mind. he looks familiar with it; could it be a part of his childhood too? but then again, everything found here is within his knowledge.
“i am,” you say with intrigue, “it got me ruminating for a while.”
you meet his gaze, stumbling upon yellow irises that glimmer akin to gold under penaconian chandeliers. you think you see a hint of affection in them, swimming around your reflection like a school of fish in a pond. it makes you smile.
he smiles back, oblivious to your thoughts but returns your gesture. he asks, “how so?” and you reply without delay, “i read through it and the morbid undertone took me by surpri—”
or at least, it's supposed to be without delay until you realize sunday has stepped closer in order to peer down at the page you're holding open. and suddenly, you're extremely aware of every minute detail like how his breath brushes against the side of your cheek and how his chest rumbles as he hums in acknowledgement.
(you flush in the neck and he perceives this reaction of yours with mirth.)
“my apologies,” sunday chuckles and pulls away, “i've simply forgotten the rhyme and wished to refresh my memory.”
“somehow, i feel that isn't the case...” you mumble accusingly. that seems to amplify whatever little amusement he gets from flustering you. “oh, my dove. i can assure you that it is,” he caresses your head, a little placatingly.
most times, sunday isn't so laidback about giving affection in public — since he has an image to maintain — so you assume the fact that the servants are out and about, leaving only you and him here, plays a role in his unusual boldness. you accept the gesture with a bashful pout.
“now, where were we?” sunday clears his throat, “ah, yes. some people have noted on the nursery rhyme's strange quality but still, it retains its popularity in penacony. it is also widely assumed that the hound resembles the bloodhound family while—”
you hold back an amused sigh, but it's more out of fondness than anything. he'll start from the history then the effect on the general public, as per usual, but you're not the only predictable one here. you'd listen to him anytime too, won't you?
(you do adore when the head of the oak family would put off his public figure mask around you. if only for just a while.)
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will you let dan heng rest his head on your lap when it's just you two? . . . the sense of comfort it provides isn't something he can explain with words. as if he has ever been good with words in the first place. saying a sentence bereft of logical reasoning or witty remarks doesn't come easily to the express’ guard. neither does intimacy. . . but you know that already, don't you?
after all, it isn't a secret that dan heng prefers speaking with his actions. if to show one's intentions is the end goal, then actions are the fastest route to choose. words, although able to sweeten the trip like how a beautiful scenery can, will eventually lead to actions regardless so why take the extra step?
but you're different from him; you articulate what you think and what you mean. you're honest in ways that keep catching dan heng off guard without fail — just like the first time you offered your empty lap to him when his head was swirling in pain — but he supposes that is one of your charms. “words can be useful. we're not all born mind readers,” you told him once and he hummed, accepting of your perspective.
(“look at you two! opposites attract!” march chirped. he recalled shooting her a look of indignation and she rubbed the back of her head sheepishly in response.)
dan heng has learnt to grow used to your propensities - but by far, your shameless invitations are still one matter that can't be comprehended even with time. he cannot understand; how you smile as you sit on his futon in the archives (he doesn't mind), how you link gazes with him so effortlessly, how you pat your lap knowingly and say, “why don't you rest your head here?”
(he has to restrain himself from bursting into flames like a heliobus.)
sometimes, he'll accept reluctantly or he'll decline with an underlying tone of longing he doesn't want you to notice. because as much of a good hold dan heng has on nonchalance, he cannot deny that this particular gesture of yours has left a mark on him.
(it remains persistently.)
when he rests his head on your lap, he can't help but take a deep inhale - your fragrance fills his senses and he discards the selfish desire to keep it all to himself. your fingers are soothing as they thread through his hair gently. the feeling that washes over him is serene, almost comparable to submerging himself in the pure waters of scalegorge waterscape.
when overcome by such a tranquil state of mind, dan heng wonders what expression he might be making at that moment? he always keeps his eyes closed, so it's a shame he may never know. but you do, and you don't think you've ever seen him look so at peace before like he does now.
(perhaps, that's why you keep offering him this in the first place.)
✧ a moment among the stars:
“someone looks tired,” you state with a pointed stare. the archives isn't a room too spacious and the only ones here are you and him. the target of your sentence is obvious.
but dan heng doesn't take the bait, barely looks away from the entry he is currently authoring. still, he spares you a glance and hums glibly, “are you projecting? if so, feel free to use my bed in the meantime.”
you let out a noise, something gibberish that conveys disappointment but it is effectively drowned out by the typing noises. “you haven't even touched the food i bought you,” your voice becomes mellow, “why don't you rest for a while?”
he isn't convinced, you think, since his fingers are still hard at work. the new info the team brought back must've been a lot if he's that focused.
“dan heng?” you try again, hopeful for the last time. you don't take him for a fool, of course, he'll know when he reaches his limit and have proper rest then. but would that really be ideal? a second passes and that hope flickers like a dimming light. but just an inch before the edge of giving up, the typing slows to a stop.
“. . .alright,” he murmurs. finally, after a good hour spent drawing patterns on his backside with your eyes, dan heng turns around to face you. he look tense, you note with abject concern.
“here,” you usher him to your lap, empty and conveniently so. dan heng shoots you a blank look - this isn't the first time you offered and this isn't the first time he reacted like that. you try to suppress a laugh, failing gloriously at it. “just for a little bit,” you utter through a stifled fit of chuckles.
dan heng shakes his head, not in rejection but in defeat. his eyes slip close, second nature, as he leans to situate his head on your lap. you welcome him with a hum and let your fingers card through his hair. a calm sigh falls from his lips like a water droplet in springtime.
“this. . . is nice,” he admits, sudden and unprompted. you nearly doubt your ears for a moment there. did he— “i don't hate it is, uhm, what i mean to say,” dan heng adds and it dawns on you that your ears are still working. his eyes are still closed, not that you'd expect anything else, he prefers to treat it as a shield from being face-to-face with embarrassment.
(or to avoid your ecstatic gaze. he can feel warmth rushing to his cheeks already.)
“i know,” you smile, brushing away a few messy strands from his forehead. he isn't an open book but you think you've read the pages enough to remember all the little details. “but thanks for telling me. i'm no mind reader but i think i can read yours pretty well.”
“i shall provide no further comment,” he holds back an incredulous exhale, yet his lips still curl slightly at the corner. you feel the teeniest desire to trace the curve of his lips with your fingertip but settle for silently admiring them instead.
“it's fine. i know the answer already,” you say, words dripping with affection. such a shame dan heng never looks up at you during a time like this. because if he did, he wouldn't have missed seeing the sheer fondness in your gaze that rains down on him in light showers. a true shame.
(one day, he'll gather the courage. maybe.)
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— thank you for reading! reblogs with comments are most appreciated. ♡
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m-elshaer038 · 3 days
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Note :
These are what I feel and what has been burning me inside since the Rafah invasion
Human life is strange here in the Gaza Strip, literally escaping death every day, every hour, and every minute You also die a thousand times a day from fatigue, oppression, hunger and fear For the millionth time, they are asking us to move again from Rafah to another area. I look at my family and they are afraid and the sound of bombing is all around us. I literally do not know what to do If you are going to tell me to get out like that, you do not know anything about what we are living here I was displaced more than once, leaving my city, my home, and my job I came to Rafah because there was a place here. Now, after the destruction of most of the cities, where do we go?! My house was bombed, my brother's house was bombed, and my family's house was bombed We do not have a tent (we are sitting here in my uncle’s house) Literally, feeling responsible for your family and their safety, and you cannot do anything except lie to them and that things are fine and that nothing will happen and hide what is all that I feel. But I literally feel more afraid of them, I am more afraid for them than I am for myself I tell you my feeling here because none of my family has this application, so they do not know anything about what I feel inside. I couldn't find anyone else to talk to except you, my friends The battle that goes on inside me every day before sleep, I swear to God, it's tiring. I literally don't know what to do other than make it easier for them. The sight of people fleeing from Rafah is disturbing and confusing. The sight and sound of the bombing is frightening. The sight of the body parts and martyrs makes the mind wander. I came here to ask you to help me with my gofundme link, and to tell me whether what I am doing is correct or what. Sorry for talking so long
@el-shab-hussein @awetistic-things @sayruq @palipunk @c @khizuo
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luveline · 3 days
Note
Something for hotch? Maybe where reader gets hurt/a concussion on a case and goes to the hospital but refuses to tell him she went until someone else mentions it?? <3 you dont have to do it if you have something similar but i love your writing!
ty for requesting!! <3 —Hotch will look after you, even when you don’t tell him you need him. fem, 1.7k
cw reader has a concussion
Hotch rubs his face when he knows nobody’s watching. Hand over his eyes, thumb and forefinger working against a brewing migraine. It eases a little of the tension there, but he can’t do it like you can. There’s something in your hands that makes him want to call them lovely hands, such a quaint word. You rub the space between his brows with your thumb until his aching is gone or replaced. Fondness with its own heartbeat wakes whenever you’re near. 
You’re not near. His head hurts. He wants a cup of coffee and a shower and to call Jack. The cases are never over when they’re over, is the thing, and he can’t keep track of everything. He has to answer questions and patch holes now, before the work follows him home to take up space on his desk. 
He talks to police officers, chiefs, victims families and firemen and Penelope, too, anybody who needs to ask him a question. He tells Emily to go back to the hotel because she’s exhausted, and warns Spencer that staying too long will give him another headache. He’s surprised half an hour later when Morgan grabs him by the arm. Hotch assumed he went with Spencer. 
“Hotch, what are you still doing here?” 
Hotch gives him a strange look. It’s not as though Morgan hasn’t seen Hotch clean up a mess before. “Sorry?” 
“I thought you’d be with Y/N.” 
He tries very hard to look casual. The team are often better at pretending they haven’t noticed you and Hotch slowly moving together. “She went home.” 
“No she didn’t, they took her in an ambulance. She’s at the hospital, nobody told you that?” 
Hotch knows Morgan can finish up for him. He doesn’t even say where he’s going or what there is left to do, Morgan is more than capable of handling the unit, and he’s a phone call away. Hotch rushes for an agent with a car and tells them where he needs to go as he punches your speed dial into his phone. Number three, after Penelope and Jess. 
You don’t answer, it makes him feel sick. He calls again and JJ picks up. Blessed, amazing JJ. 
“Hi Hotch.” 
“Is she there? Can I speak to her?” 
“She went in for an MRI a half hour ago.”
“JJ, what happened? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” 
“She said she told you.” A dry laugh from down the phone. “You’d think I’d learn not to trust her. I love her, but she’s a liar.” 
Hotch could say the same thing. “JJ, what happened? What’s wrong with her?” 
“I think she’s embarrassed. When everybody was coming back out, someone stepped on the back of her leg and she slipped down the stairs.” 
“Who stepped on her?” Hotch asks. 
JJ laughs. Hotch wonders if they’re too far into working together to scold her for unprofessionalism, but then he remembers the Unit would fall apart without her and holds his tongue. He’d fall apart without you, maybe, and he could stand to be a little more defensive. 
He’s out of the car and into the hospital in record time. He follows the signs to the Emergency Room, gives your name at the desk, and doesn’t have to flash his badge to get told what room they’ve put you in. He would’ve, and he would’ve threatened legal action. He’s no saint. He’ll abuse the system (in innocuous ways only, of course) if it means he gets to see you. 
You’re in a bed but sitting on the side of it rather than laying down. JJ sits in the chair beside you, two contrasting expressions on your faces. You’re smiling. JJ bites her lip. 
She turns to Hotch with relief. “Hey, look,” she says gently. 
“You took a long time to get here. Was it the moon?” 
Hotch understands quite quickly. “Sorry. Nobody told me you got hurt. What happened to the moon, honey?” 
You give him a vacant look. Turning back to JJ, your hands vying for her arm, you hold her to your stomach gently and squeeze your eyes closed. “The light.” 
Hotch turns to the wall, looking for the light switch. It’s hidden behind other concerning tech, so he’s careful about what he presses. You sigh and draw his attention, wiggling back on the bed to almost fall off the other side. 
“Maybe she thought she told me,” he suggests, not scolding JJ, but unhappy nonetheless. You clearly aren’t in a state to make decisions for yourself. 
JJ rubs your arm. “She got worse after we got here. That’s why they sent for her MRI so quickly. She’s on and off with it, incoherent and normal again.”   
Hotch knows she’s concerned for you, but he can read her restless leg; she hasn’t talked to Will or heard about Henry in hours. “Go back to the hotel, JJ. I have her.” 
JJ gives you a hug, to your confusion, and bypasses him fast. He can hear her phone ringing before the doors shut from her departure. 
He admires her loyalty, he just wishes she’d called him two hours ago. 
You rub your eyes, the loose sleeves of your hospital gown shifting against the loose knot behind your neck, and he genuinely despises the idea that you’d been here, hurt, without him. “Can I tie your gown again?” he asks. 
You nod into your rubbing. 
“I turned the lights off. It shouldn’t be so bright in here anymore.” He rounds the bed to your back, where a great deal of skin is showing. He smiles though he shouldn’t. You poor girl. “You’re a little… stark.” 
“I’m trying to think of some fruit and milk,” you tell him. 
“Do you need help?” 
“Not for the fruit.” 
“But for the milk,” he surmises, bringing the ties of your gown as close as he can without strangling you and tying them in a neat bow. 
“I don’t think that’s what I meant to say.” 
He puts his hand on your shoulder, his thumb to bare skin. “That’s okay, honey, you’re having a little trouble now, but it’ll go away soon. If there were something wrong, the doctor would be here.” 
“You could be a doctor.” 
“I couldn’t. I don’t know anything about medicine.” 
“A very nice doctor. Big hands.” You breathe out loudly, more animated than he’s ever heard you. “Whoo, I’m cold. I think they made me naked.” 
“How about I tuck you in, would you like that?” he asks, leaning over you in hopes of you turning your head. 
You stare up at him. “You want to?” 
“I’d love to. I want you to be comfortable.” 
“My boyfriend might not like it.” 
Hotch tries not to sulk at another horrible symptom. You aren’t only incoherent, but amnesiac. And you’ve forgotten who he is, in a way. At least you’ve remembered you have a boyfriend. He hopes it’s him. 
“No? Why wouldn’t he like it, honey? I’m just trying to take care of you.” 
You visibly fluster. “You’re calling me honey like he does, and he won’t like it ‘cos he takes care of me. He loves to go to places but he doesn’t know where he’s going.” 
That second half is gibberish, he’s sure. Hotch puts his hands carefully under your armpits and manoeuvres you back toward the top of the elevated hospital bed.
You put your hand to your tummy as you lean back, and hiss as your head touches the pillows. “Ow.” 
“Sorry,” he murmurs. 
“Don’t tell Aaron I got hurt.” 
“Why not?” 
“I fell down the stairs. He’s never fallen down the stairs.” 
“I have, actually. Twice. And it doesn’t matter how you get hurt, I want to know you’re alright, so I need you to tell me.” 
He pulls the sheets up to your legs and over your lap. Tucks them tightly behind your back, hands lingering on your hips. He watches you look at him, your cloudy gaze tracking over his eyes, his nose, and his lips. “Aaron?” you ask eventually, lifting your chin. 
“Yes?” 
You breathe out an unmissable sigh of relief. “You didn’t come with me.” 
“I didn’t know you were hurt.” He squeezes your hip softly. “You didn’t tell me. But it’s not your fault, is it? You got hurt.” His voice falls into silk. “Is that warm enough?” 
“I’m glad you’re here. I need you to get my shoes.” 
“No shoes. Can I have a hug?” 
“Why?” 
“Just to hug you,” he says softly. “It might make you feel better.” 
You raise your hands clumsily like your fingers are full of sand, forcing him to see his arms under them and behind your back. Your cheeks align, his rough with stubble, yours warm with the heat of a flush, perhaps from the injury. Your hands flop down onto his back as he rubs two separate, loving paths on the gown and your skin. 
Thank god she’s okay, he thinks. 
“Am I stuck like this?” you ask. 
“Are you worried?” He taps your back. “I doubt it. We might have to stay here for a while, but it’s okay. Feeling better is the priority.” 
“I’d like to go back.” 
“Home?” 
“For breakfast.” 
“Are you hungry? I can find you something to eat.” 
“What?” you ask. 
You sound so genuinely confused that Hotch laughs into your shoulder, before giving the fabric a soft kiss. “It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna bring that chair over and sit with you, okay? We’ll wait for the doctor together.” 
He sits with you for hours, talks to doctors and nurses alike as they come to check your vitals and explain your scans. Your confusion doesn’t lessen until the night time, and even then you act oddly, bringing his hand to your mouth to kiss strange parts of his fingers. The skin shy of his nail. The underside of a knuckle, the curve under the meat of his thumb. 
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samuraiko · 2 days
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CR's BEACON and a bit about it
So of course I had to get in on this because I'm all for discounts and early access and NOT giving money to Twitch and YT if I can help it.
And yes, the site is getting SLAMMED at the moment, but I've now managed to get in, and it's working great.
Couple notes:
If you have the same email address for the CR shop and for Beacon, once your Beacon account is created, it auto-applies the discount to the shop. You will see the price crossed out and a discounted price next to the item (limitations do apply, they go over that).
I gather there is some wonkiness going on with the Discord, so I'd suggest waiting a day or so on that one.
Cooldown (the immediate after-show filming) IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD. Listening to them conspiracy theorizing and Matt answering a couple things (or in more cases, "You don't know!") is just great to watch.
Yes, there is subtitles/captioning, and it looks like it's done by the same folks they have doing the main eps.
Re-Slayer's Take is *NOT* the main cast -- it is run and played by other people. I gather this is in a similar vein to Midst, but them allowing other groups to "play" in Exandria. It is also all-ages-friendly.
There is an app in the Apple store and Android store -- IT IS CALLED POCKET BEACON. HOW FUNNY IS THAT?!
http://beacon.tv
UPDATE: I've seen a couple of Twitter posts about the app possibly being geolocked -- cannot confirm or deny as I live in the United States and thus cannot check (and am reluctant to dick around with my phone).
UPDATE: Someone brought up in the replies that captioning/subtitling is not yet on everything, and in a couple cases, it's a bit wonky. Again, hopefully to be straightened out sooner than later.
UPDATE: Someone else in the replies wondered about whether coming in on a live broadcast late means you can still start from the beginning or not.. IF SOMEONE CAN CONFIRM OR DENY THIS WITH TONIGHT'S BROADCAST, DROP ME AN ASK AND LEMME KNOW, PLEASE!
I'll add more to this post as I encounter things!
STILL MORE UPDATES!
you can join late and start at the beginning, it looks like they upload the whole episode rather than doing a live broadcast.
however, it DOES NOT have subtitles, though the speed and quality can be adjusted.
there is also no break material, just a quick fade in and fade out.
also no ads
AND STILL MORE UPDATES!
In a rare non-Apple access win, can confirm that Pocket Beacon does not appear to be geolocked for Android, at least here in Australia!
EVEN MORE UPDATES!
Re: captioning, 4-Sided Dive does not appear to be captioned/subtitled (yet).
THE UPDATES KEEP ON COMING!
The Android version does appear to support Chromecast
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hannieehaee · 3 days
Note
something inspired by espresso by sabrina carpenter (excluding the arresting part ofc 🫡) like svt being obsessed with the reader?
18+ / mdi
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content: simp!vernon, he's down bad tremendously it's actually a little pathetic, afab reader, very obvious references to espresso by sabrina, smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, etc.
wc: 1553
a/n: vernon was the first person to come to mind so i decided to do him hehe hope u enjoy<3
masterlist
vernon was aware of how pathetic he was acting.
it wasn't like everyone around him wasn't liberal in letting him know how borderline desperate his behavior seemed.
he knew through and through how much of a simp he was for you – and being honest, he did not mind it whatsoever.
chasing after you had now become an integral part of his life. catching sight of you at any mutual gathering was one of the things he looked forward the most as of late.
he'd notice the flirty looks you'd throw at him when you caught him staring. he'd groan to himself any time you'd add a suggestive wink just to mess with him. your effect on him awoke a part of himself that none of his exes ever had.
vernon thought of you every night, spending sleepless night after sleepless night with you in mind. sometimes he'd do unseemly things to himself as he remembered your seductive scent (which he had caught a whiff of once in passing and had become addicted to immediately). other times he'd simply imagine what it'd be like to simply get to hold your hand – as everyone else envied him for bagging the prettiest girl in town ...
after a few weeks of pining for you for afar, he finally grew the balls to respond to your provocations (the winks, the looks, the lip bites).
was he nervous? more than he'd ever been. how could he not be when you were staring at him even at this moment? when you were wearing the tiniest skirt known to man – also his favorite – as you made eyes at him? fuck, he felt lightheaded at the mere thought of you taking even the slightest interest in him.
and fuck, did vernon underestimate how much you liked him.
in no universe would vernon have ever imagined for you to grab him by the hand and wordlessly lead him to an empty room the moment he approached you.
much less would he have expected you to push him up against a wall and dig your hands in his hair, moaning into his mouth the moment your lips connected.
he wasn't an idiot, so of course he didn't question why the girl of his dreams was suddenly making out with him in such a thirsty and depraved manner. he simply decided to go along with it, letting you lick his tongue and pull at his hair.
his hands were shy at first, unsure as to what type of touching you'd be okay with. thank god that you took the reigns once more and placed his hands on your ass as a silent encouragement for him to touch you.
you made out for a good ten minutes, contorting yourselves against one another as you sought to leave the other breathless. that was when you decided to drag him away from the wall, walking him backwards into the bed and straddling his lap once he sat down.
"vernon," you mumbled into his lips, now pecking him sensually rather than full-on kissing him.
"hmm?", he was entirely distracted by the feeling of the plush skin of your perfect hips under his hands, hypnotized by the magnetic scent of your perfume.
"this is okay, right?," your lips disconnected, trailing down his neck and towards his ear, "saw you staring at me these past few weeks," you nibbled at his lobe.
"y-yes, of course. fuck, you don't have to ask. you can do whatever you want with me," he practically pleaded.
"oh? anything?", he could feel your smirk against his skin, shuddering at your clear excitement for his words.
"just want you so bad, you- i'm wrapped around your finger. i'll do anything you want," he hesitantly created a gap between your lips and his skin, looking up at you with wide and thoughtless eyes.
there was no response from you, simply a smirk and another connection of your lips as you licked into his mouth once more, this time with even more fervor. mindlessly, he followed your every move, kissing you and feeling you up with as much desperation as you did to him. vernon was willing to follow you anywhere if it meant he'd be on the receiving end of your touch.
lust filled his veins as you had your fun with him, dragging his shirt upwards and throwing it off, doing the same with your own. his hands fondled with your bare breasts, groaning against your lips at the feeling of your warm skin and your pert nipples. he ached to get his mouth on them, but he was too content kissing you to do anything about it.
"wanna ride you, nonnie," you whispered against his lips, getting up and pulling him onto his feet with you. wordlessly, you helped him pull off his pants as his lips trailed down to your neck and chest, breathing heavily against you.
pushing him back down to sit on the edge of the bed, he whimpered at being suddenly deprived of your skin against his lips, but quickly shut himself up when he saw you slip off your panties from underneath your skirt.
you didn't bother to remove your skirt as you sat back down on him, grabbing onto his cock and teasing your cunt with it. he groaned profanities at the feeling, digging his fingers into your hips as he attempted to hold back from fucking into you.
"p-put it in ... please," he pleaded with teary eyes. you had not teased him much, yet he was already desperate for you. putting how pathetic he sounded aside, he continued to beg for you, needing your cunt wrapped around him as much as he needed air.
you sighed at the feeling of his weeping tip against your clit, leading you to a level of desperation similar to that of vernon's (but, of course, not nearly as needy). finally, you lowered yourself onto him, gasping at the stretch and digging your fingers into his shoulder blades.
meanwhile, vernon was in what he could only describe as heaven. the sensation of your warmth embracing him so tightly had him breathless. the sight of your head thrown back as you bounced sensually on top of him made his eyes cross and his hands dig into your plush hips. he could make no noise other than pathetic whined of your name accompanied by endless chants of 'please, please, please' as he begged for you to continue and never stop.
"f-fuck, feel so fucking good ... p-please don't stop, shit. wanted you so bad ... been dreaming a-about – fuck – you every night. cunt's so good ... so pretty a-and soft and warm, fuck, it's so fucking warm," his rambles were never-ending, completely consumed by the feeling of the girl of his dreams finally giving him the time of day.
"tell me more, nonnie," you breathed as you leaned down to kiss him, giving him almost no space to respond, "tell me how – ah! – how much you like me," you encouraged despite being equally lost in pleasure.
"so much. you have no idea. you're so pretty, fuck. please ... please tell me this isn't a one-time thing. i-i'll take it, but, fuck, please," his words faded out as you began rocking your hips more and more aggressively, lips invading his own as he attempted to speak.
you smirked against his lips, ignoring his statement in favor of making him cum as fast as possible, as you were also approaching your high.
"you want me again, baby?" you enticed him with a languid kiss, "if you cum, i'll let you have me again. okay, nonnie? be good and cum with me."
he stared into your eyes, furrowing his eyebrows in what looked like a painful state as he nodded pathetically in affirmation. if you wanted him to cum with you, he'd do it tenfold. anything you wanted, he'd do as long as you even breathed in his direction. he was so horribly desperate for you. now and always.
"c-cumming, oh, fuck, it's so- shit, baby, i need- fuck," he stammered as your high took over, causing your cunt to tighten around him and making him lose his mind as a result.
the harshness with which he dug his nails into your hips couldve easily drawn blood. however, the pathetic cries of pleasure coming from the boy under you had you more distracted. even as your high invaded your senses, your mind was still fully focused on vernon and the desperate mess he'd become.
you played it up for him, moaning and sighing his name in ways you knew he'd remember every lonely night his hand made its way beneath his pants. there was nothing that fed you more than his sheer want for you, so you did everything in your power to amp it up, making your orgasm all the more intense.
he filled you up immensely, leaving you leaking by the end of it all. you panted against him as he held you tightly in his arms, enjoying the calm feeling of your chests pressed together, heavy breaths eventually synchronizing.
"does- does this mean i can get your number?", he mumbled when he recovered his breath.
you giggled, knowing that he'd call you endlessly if you gave him your number. yet the thought excited you far too much to deny him.
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barcaatthemoon · 3 days
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i like the way you kiss me || alexia putellas x reader ||
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alexia likes things the way they are, so you try your best to do so as well.
minors dni, 18+, smut warning
you swore that alexia was doing it all on purpose. there was never any time for you to get ready whenever she texted you that she was coming over. it wasn't like you were trying to turn your apartment into some intimate love nest, but you would have liked to have a bit more warning than what you were getting. it was almost like alexia was halfway through the parking lot when she finally decided to text you.
tonight was no different. you had just gotten back from a rather boring tinder date when she told you that she was on her way. less than five minutes later, and alexia was knocking on your front door. it was almost funny when you opened it up, alexia dressed up in a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants that did nothing but accentuate the dildo between her legs.
"what if i hadn't gotten back in yet?" you teased. alexia didn't say anything as she strolled right past you. you rolled your eyes as you shut the door and followed her back into your bedroom. these visits were getting quicker and quicker. it wasn't necessarily that it irked you, but you wished that alexia showed a bit more effort. however, you'd never be able to tell her that.
alexia always gave you exactly what you wanted whenever things came down to it. she kept you completely satisfied sexually. that was what this arrangement was, anyway. she wasn't there to hold your hand or kiss you in the early hours of the morning. alexia came over to fuck you, and unfortunately for your sanity, she did it perfectly.
"i saw the pictures of that guy, there's nothing he can do that i can't do better," alexia said smugly. you wanted to say something to knock her down a few pegs, but you couldn't. alexia had a point. there was nothing that a past partner had done for you that alexia hadn't done better already. you were fairly certain that there was absolutely nothing this woman couldn't do in the bedroom. she had turned you onto things that you had sworn up and down you'd never do.
you shut alexia up the only way that you could think to, by kissing her. alexia pushed forward abraisively as she backed you up until you hit the mattress. alexia broke the kiss to sit up and pull her tank top off, knowing that any protests you'd have would die right there. it was almost scary sometimes how easily alexia could just take control of you with the simplest of actions.
"that's a pretty dress. why don't you turn around for me?" alexia asked you. it was confusing sometimes how she'd ask you so sweetly to do something for her right after a show of force. you turned onto your stomach and let alexia lift your hips up into the air. you were used to being in this position, alexia loved to see you on your hands and knees.
she lifted the skirt of your dress up as she nudged your legs open. alexia licked her lips at the sight of your barely concealed pussy. she wasn't sure what she wanted to do first, so she practically dove in between your legs face first. alexia's tongue peeked out to taste you as her fingers pulled your underwear to the side.
"fuck, ale," you moaned. alexia only pushed further, this time dipping her tongue inside of you as far as she could get it. you could feel your legs shake a little as she wriggled her tongue inside of you.
"don't cum yet." alexia teased you. you could feel a bit of embarrassment at being called out, but it was quickly overshadowed by a wave of pleasure. alexia worked you up to the brink of an orgasm before she completely withdrew from you.
"alexia," you whined at the loss of contact. alexia smirked as she watched you try and push back against her only to find out that she had moved completely off of the bed. you tried to turn your body around to look at her, but that was when you felt her hands return to your body as she grabbed your hips to keep you in the position she wanted.
"no," she told you sternly. you swallowed at what you would have considered a very sexy version of her "captain" voice. it was very nearly the one that you were used to hearing on the pitch as she ordered you around, but this one had a bit of heaviness to it that came with alexia being aroused. "stay like this. if you move, i'll make sure that you don't cum for the rest of the night. i'll keep you right there on the edge until i'm done, understood?"
"yes, ale. i'm sorry." you ducked your head down in shame. alexia seemed satisfied with your apology and moved back onto the bed. this time, you could feel the head of her strap-on as it pressed against your entrance. alexia ran the tip through your folds a couple of times before she pushed it inside of you. "oh my god, alexia!"
"yeah, that's right. scream out my name while i fuck you. i don't want there to be any confusion for your neighbors. i'm the only one who fucks you this good," alexia said directly into your ear. she was leaning over your body as she said these things to you. alexia's hips moved slowly, never completely exiting you with any of her thrusts.
it wasn't until alexia was back to standing up straight that she finally pulled out completely. you were on the verge of whimpering for her to come back when you felt her slam her hips forward. she kept a strong grip on your hips as she thrust in and out of you repeatedly. each of her thrusts rocked you to your core, pushing moans and all sorts of absolutely filthy noises out of you.
"ale, can i cum? please, i want to cum," you begged. alexia didn't answer as she continued to thrust in and out of you. you tried to wait for her to give you some sort of answer, but it never came. instead, you lost your fight as waves of pleasure overcame your body. your legs gave out, but alexia didn't stop thrusting until you were practically crying for her to get off of you from the sensitivity. "are you leaving?"
"i'll see you at practice tomorrow, okay? maybe i'll come over after," alexia told you. you stared at her sadly as she grabbed her clothes to put back on. she was ready to head back out the door when she finally stopped and acknowledged you again. "don't get pouty, we'll have almost all afternoon tomorrow. you won't be able to sit when i'm done with you later."
that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but you couldn't ignore the excitement her words had coursing through your veins. alexia walked over and captured your lips in a kiss, the lingering taste of you still on her tongue. beneath that, however, was the absolutely addicting taste of alexia. that was what you wanted, to have her kissing you all night long, but like always, alexia dipped as soon as she could.
"get some sleep. i need you well rested for tomorrow," alexia told you. in some twisted way, you were pretty sure that she was trying to look out for you. however, you couldn't read into it too much or else you knew that you'd be sorely disappointed.
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fluidstatick · 2 days
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So hey just a little thing about K2's prayer:
Blimey is short for Cor, Blimey,
Which is cockney rhyming slang derived from "May God Blind Me."
K2 saw what was going on and said, well, this is way above my pay grade but if Kristen Chilis Applebees needs you, then so do I. Pluck out my eyes. Plunge me into the darkness that suits the doubt I've lived under for the duration of my short absurd life. Kristen Prime barely acknowledges my existence. I'm not even sure how or why I exist. I'm a foot soldier, a cardboard cutout, a jumper cable, a sponge. I'm English, but England doesn't exist. I want to be loved, but that longing doesn't touch anything I point it toward. Blind me. Dissolve me. If that's what they need, I don't care that I'll die with the sound of their horrified laughter at my back. They're calling for me, but I'm already splitting apart.
I don't think you heard me.
And God consumed her, and then God quit her job and asked the infinite void of the multiverse for a ride home. Because a sacrifice that absurd and complete, called forward out of the fabric of random chance, is too staggering even for Doubt Herself.
Ally Fucking Beardsley, you will always be famous.
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ricky-mortis · 11 hours
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Have some Ted doodles- as a treat.
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AEIWAM canon fun fact for no reason: Zaraki Kenpachi 100% fully believes in, and practices, tarot reading.
The deck he's using is, of course, completely sideways of a conventional tarot. There are no suits, not properly faces, as the deck is entirely comprised of Cards* that he picked up at some point and felt a connect with.
The Garbage Tarot is accurate to the point of violence, will happily tell people about the present or past but gets huffy and sarcastic if you try to prognosticate too much or too specifically. It will never tell anyone how they will die but will practically spell the name and address of who they're going to marry. Or murder. Sometimes both. You get to figure that part out, asshole.
It also seems to work only for Zaraki- even touching the deck can lead to disaster, at least according to Renji who tried to use it once and immediately had the worst run of luck of his life for a week that culminated in a monkey attack and having to get the rabies shots.
Despite its accuracy and the fact it shares Zaraki's peculiar sense of humor, he doesn't use it often. "I ask it when it's an emergency or it tells me it's got news. Otherwise, it's resting. What would happen if you kick in my door in the middle of the night to ask me about your love life? I'd fuckin' castrate you, that's what. Leave it."
* "Cards" here meaning "approximately 3x5 inch flat rectangle-ish objects with two different sides that can be shuffled. This includes, but is not limited to: beer mats he scribbled important names and addresses on, Smutty polaroids he found in the back of a desk drawer, a Christmas card, a compact mirror, laminated natural objects like flowers and snakeskin, swathes of fabric, tile, the checkout cards from Library copies of famous literature, postcards, business cards, academic flash cards, the very small menu of a seafood restaurant, and a handful or normal playing and tarot cards just to be funny.
It makes a horrible noise when shuffled.
Mayuri despises it, calling it superstitious bullshit and refusing Zaraki's offer to do a reading before an important project. Mayuri flounced from the building in disgust, and as soon as he set a toe outside, he was strick by lightning.
Unohana was disappointed that he'd believe in cartomancy at first but she's kept careful notes on the results of the draws and how things turn out and there's always an element of confirmation bias but she's slightly alarmed that it may actually work. To be fair, that would only be the fourth or fifth most improbable thing about Zaraki.
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highvern · 2 days
Text
Honey
Pairing: Kim Mingyu x f!reader
Genre: smut
warnings: strip tease, kinda public sex?, unprotected sex, creampie, simp mingyu, established relationship, dry humping (in a hot tub), fingering, face fucking/oral (m. receiving), porn with feelings, mingyu has a thing for being called husband, breeding kink
Length: ~2.8k
Note: inspired by the two seconds of mingyu in lalali. sorry @gyuswhore next time dont let your man act like a fool. this is a continuation of Drunk Goggles (Heart Eyes) but can be read as a stand alone! see below for their master list
Drunk Goggles (Heart Eyes) [f,s], Drunk Goggles (Heart Eyes) II [f]
Pre-Drunk Goggles (in order): Peaches [f], Bite the Bullet [f, h], Jealousy [a, h]
Post-Drunk Goggles (in order): Silk [s], Aphrodite [f, s], Discovery [s], Lucky Me [f], adamas et aurum [f], Baby Blues [f]
Summary: The best way to recover from the stress of your wedding and celebrate your marriage? Some private time in the hot tub with your new husband.
m.list
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
Twenty four hours.
You’d been married for twenty four hours and can barely keep your eyes open from exhaustion. Not because of your husband and the vigorous but romantic sex he insisted on having on every surface of the cabin your friends chipped in to rent as a wedding present. No, you’ve barely managed to touch each other beyond agonizingly fatigued kisses and sentimental cuddles. 
Last night you both barely managed to make it into the bed before passing out cold. This morning, you found Mingyu nodding off at the stove after insisting on cooking breakfast while you showered. A few lazy gropes during breakfast (Mingyu’s hand barely toeing the line of indecent on your thigh) and a hot kiss before he left the bed was all the action managed in the first day as a newly wed couple. 
It’s still a funny word: husband. For so long husband was hypothetical; a distant idea that someday you’d have one. Maybe. If you found someone you could put up with long enough to start considering them as a long term partner instead of a fling.
And then Mingyu went from an acquaintance to boyfriend in a matter of months and the hypotheticals started shaping into realities with shocking speed.
The amorphous face of your hypothetical-husband slowly started to resemble Mingyu’s day after day. Week after week. And now, after months of planning, hair pulling, and a day full of tears, Mingyu is your husband. 
And he’s waiting for you in the hot tub just outside.
It’s the middle of the day but time ceases to maintain importance on vacation. But after a late breakfast you both agreed the best thing for your aching bodies was an afternoon relaxing in the hot tub until you both pruned like raisins. 
You spot the head of dark hair belonging to your fiance husband through the glass sliding doors leading onto the back porch. Beyond him is a full view of the lake, sparkling under the sun. It’s a deception of warmth but a breathtaking sight nonetheless. 
But nothing compared to Mingyu whipping around at the sound of the door opening with a pleased smile. Until his eyes drop to your bikini. 
“Why are you wearing that?” he asks with a pout. 
Glancing down at the black two piece, you pout back. “I thought you liked this one?”
“I like whatever you wear, but the point of being married is that we can walk around naked as much as we want.”
“We already do that.”
“And it’s one of my favorite traditions,” Mingyu says, resettling across the tub to watch. “Now get that off and get over here. I miss you.”
You reach behind your back, you tug at the string of your top until the knot unravels. As the fabric slackens around your chest, Mingyu’s eyes follow with rapt attention. He’s seen you naked thousands of times but never fails to act like it's the first again. Your nipples peak under his stare, sensitive as the fabric brushes against them as you fling the top to the ground. 
“Now we’re the same,” you say with a coy smile, closing the space to the hot tub in a few short steps.
“Wrong.” He fumbles for a second, hands disappearing under the surface. The water sloshes around as he battles to pull off his shorts and drops them to the deck with a splat. “The only thing I want to see you in are those rings.”
“Mingyu!” you gasp mockingly, ignoring the heat pooling between your legs in favor of dragging out the game. “What if someone sees?”
No one will. The cabins on either side of yours are dark and empty, and most of the houses skirting around the lake are so far away no one could possibly decipher what you two were doing in the shade of the porch awning anyway. 
“Then they’ll see how beautiful my wife is.” 
Blood rings in your ears at the way he says it; fond with a hint of pride. Like he still can’t believe you said yes in the first place. Like it was ever a question if and not when.
Mingyu whines pathetically as you scramble to remove your flimsy bottoms without flourish. It's too cold to stand around and do a full strip tease even if your husband’s eyes burn right through you. They join his swimsuit at the foot of the tub before you slip into the gentle embrace of the water.
Your ass barely meets the seat before Mingyu pulls you into his lap and kisses you. Arms circling around his shoulders, you sink a hand in his hair and tug until he welcomes your tongue. Your thighs straddle across his, bare skin on bare skin only interrupted by the silky feel of water. Even that doesn’t manage to disguise the electricity between your bodies. Or the fact that Mingyu's cock is already hard and waiting for use.
“Mmm. Missed you,” he whispers into the warmth of your cheek before descending across your jaw.
Bones turning to jelly, you melt under his attention like always. Mingyu loves to make you putty with little effort. You tip your chin up to make room for his tongue over the dip between your collarbones. “I was gone for five minutes.”
“Too long.”
He punctuates the complaint with a harsh suck of your nipple. It puckers between his teeth, sensitive and needy for attention. The sting serves as the perfect distraction from his hands sliding lower to palm your ass, fingertips grazing your entrance. 
“Fuck,” you gasp. Your hips search for more pleasure, sinking back until Mingyu stretches you around his knuckles with practice ease. The water washes away any arousal lingering but you won’t give up the prod of thick fingers for a little discomfort.
“Can you say it?”
Even before it became official he loved hearing you say any declaration that he belongs to you: boyfriend, fiance, and now—
“Husband.”
Mingyu groans into your chest as you whisper his new epithet, exploding with renewed vigor across your neglected breast. Indulging in the way his cock twitches against your thigh at the word, you curl your hips into the pressure. It's a difficult choice: Mingyu’s fingers filling you just right or the tip of his cock rubbing against your clit. 
Moving back and forth, the water sloshes over the sides of the tub as you greedily try to keep both. It’s hotter knowing Mingyu gets off on it too; the way you always want more, more of him, his hands, his mouth, his cock. Even rutting across his thigh after he cums until it hurts can make him hard again if you’re enjoying yourself.
Sinking a hand down, you tug at his cock, jerking him off right against your folds. With a tight fist, you crumble Mingyu to pieces with a few short strokes. The effort is rewarded with bites into your bottom lip and a hand at the base of your spine.
“Wait, shit,” he gasps. He’s closer than he wants to be. Clear in the tightness of his shoulders and pinch around his nose. Nothing gets him hotter than the memory of your first time together, when he used you pussy to jerk himself off; coating your panties in his cum. You know he still has a picture from the second time he did it saved on his phone after all these years.
Mingyu’s lips don’t leave yours as he stands, carrying you to the lip of the tub and sitting back down. He doesn’t let you slip to your knees in front of him at first. You’re trapped with lewd kisses and the flex of his fingers into the dip of your waist until he calms. 
“Let,” kiss. “Me,” kiss. “Taste,” teeth. “You.” 
Mingyu bucks into your ass at the offer before letting go. He’s never said no to a blowjob and he won’t start now given how much you like it too. 
But he’s cocky, arms resting on the edge of the tub as he presents the nude visage of his front like a dare. It’s bold given his habit of devolving into a needy mess at the first hint of satisfaction.
Your hand keeps pace while your lips ghost down Mingyu’s neck. His nipples stiffen with quick attention, almost more sensitive than your own but that isn’t your goal right now. Your mouth starts to water when you reach his stomach, tracing the ridges and dips with all the time in the world. 
Just as Mingyu gets the first syllable of protest at the tip of his tongue, you suck him between your lips with cruel enthusiasm.
All the kinks in his armor become the highlights: a coarse lick where he leaks, a tight fist at the base, your other hand cupping lower until he moans loud enough to echo across the lake. For your own sick pleasure, you back away enough to tap him against the flat of your tongue, pink against the tip of his cock, eyes on his until Mingyu is forced to look away or risk painting your face in white far too soon.
“Slow down,” he commands. More of a beg since his head tips back when you take him until the curve of your throat objects. “Fuck–Jesus Christ.”
You arch your spine, ass displayed like a prize. Another one of Mingyu’s weaknesses. You can count on one hand the number of times he’s let you suck him off without reaching over to feel how wet you get from the weight against your tongue. If he chances a look down again (inevitable) you’ve provided a great surprise.
His cock falls from your hold long enough to rasp, “Fuck my mouth.”
At the end of the day, who is Mingyu to deny his wife what she demands for?
Timid with the first thrust like always, Mingyu plants a hand on the back of your head, fingers woven into your hair for his own sanity. You like to surprise him by filling your throat as quickly as possible just to see Mingyu squirm. Nothing makes you blinder to your own limits than his pleasure. But years of taking him make it easy to work around. 
He’s trying. The effort is in the twitch of muscles bracketing your shoulders, the gentle tugs of his fingers, the way Mingyu can barely bite back the flow of curse when you choke around him deep in your throat. Your jaw is already growing sore but no obstacle against the desire to see Mingyu shake.
Then Mingyu does something that shocks you.
Your hand pauses its work under the gentle squeeze of his. Mouth still full, you flash your eyes open to find him staring down in awe. For a second you wonder if it's just because time had been short the past few weeks between wedding planning and traveling. But then he pulls your hand away from his cock and towards your mouth, and you finally realize what caught his attention.
The rings. The plain band that matches the one circling his finger and the special one he spent months trying to keep a secret.
Mingyu kisses across your knuckles, thumb tracing the metal and stone like it’s a wonder. He did the same motion over and over again last night: walking back up the aisle as husband and wife, at the reception as you both greeted guest after guest while glued to each other, in the car ride to the cabin across the center console, before you both fell asleep still fully clothed. 
Without any words, you’re pulled up into his lap for a searing kiss.
“I love you,” he sighs. His tongue slides against yours, slick as he tastes the mess you happily lapped up at his crotch.
“I love you too.”
You feel it. Feel it more than anything in the world. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It shivers down your spine, and blushes across your front. The effect of those three words, simple but so much more, seems almost too much for the daylight just beyond the awning of the porch. 
Out of the water, the cool air prickles along your back, forcing your chest to cave against the cold but Mingyu is there to warm you up with the stretch of his cock. 
You hide the satisfaction in the column of his neck, teeth razing wet across the vein there. He tastes like chlorine and that expensive cologne you jump his bones for. The idea of leaving a bruise like some teenager where everyone can see settles an ache in your core. It’s the first time Mingyu is inside you as your husband and it nearly rips apart the fabric of your being,
In a frenzy, your hips rut before Mingyu can orient himself to the snug feel of your walls. The angle is nothing short of cosmic. Clit rubbing against his pubic bone, cock battering that place inside that makes your joints lock. And the stretch after an unfulfilling glimpse on his fingers only burns you hotter.
The slap of your skin against his is an afterthought, background noise to grunts and groans and pathetic whines that meld between your mouths. In the thick of need, you aren’t even kissing. Just panting into one another’s mouth with narrowed vision. 
Mingyu sinks you lower in his lap with a smooth grind. “Tell me how it feels.”
“Like my husband is trying to get me pregnant.” You go cross eyed from the drag of his thumb against your worn bundle of never. Nothing makes him more desperate to please than the thought of you heavy with his your baby. 
No chance it’ll happen any time soon but the sentiment does wonders.
Another hard thrust threatening to leave you bedridden for the next week.“Fuck—please.”
“You’re mine,” Mingyu groans.
Writhing against his grip, sweat blooms at your brow. You can’t manage to respond with more than a cracked whine. Too focused on the wave rushing across the edges of your senses. 
“There! Fuck! Right there, Gyu.” You come in hot, carried by the rough way Mingyu forces you down his cock again and again. 
Nails biting into his biceps, your insides flutter tight, trying to pull Mingyu deeper even if he’s snug to the hilt. Full, deep, stretched beyond belief. Eyes cinched, muscles vibrating, you cum on your husband's cock with a broken grunt you’ll remember to be embarrassed about later.
“That's it, take it.” Mingyu coos with an edge. “My pretty fucking girl, my wife. Mine, all mine.”
Your knees hurt and your legs are numb from exertion and a killer orgasm. But you won’t call it until Mingyu gets his fill too.
“Close?” you pant. 
A hand at your throat is the warning, already knowing your plans to goad him to the edge if he isn’t there already. His thumb cocks your chin up so his tongue can lick the words right out of your mouth. 
A few more weak movements spell his ends. Mingyu cums with a grunt. Muscles tense, stomach caved, you scramble for hold under the threat of slipping back into the hot tub from the rushes of his cock to stuff you full with his spend. You’ll be sore tomorrow from the way he forces your thighs wider, until you’re flat against him, taking it deeper.
A sticky mess grows between your legs, warmly welcomed since the last time you felt it weeks ago. A peek between your bodies gets you ready to go again. But you still crave more. Ringed white around the base, Mingyu twitches inside you again when you clench just to tease him. 
“Love you, love you, love you…” Mingyu chants into your mouth until he goes slack with a long huff.
You find rest in his shoulder. Mingyu rubs his cheek against yours, innocent and domestic. He isn’t shy about most things but after you fuck eachother silly he likes to remind the universe its from a place of devotion.
“Marriage looks good on you.” 
“You too.” You smile. “Now take me to bed, I’m not done with you yet.”
“Whatever my wife demands.”
“That's my good husband.” The hand ruffling his hair is quickly snatched away, giving Mingyu the perfect opening to toss you over his shoulder before heading inside.
--
Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie
@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire
@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @bbychocolat
@dokyeomkyeom @yoonguurt @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos
© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.
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peachdeluxe · 9 hours
Text
i'm leaving the post up but please don't ask me to turn reblogs back on for now. i explain why in the replies but honestly yall got very annoying lol
like beyond the scope of just music… a lot of white tumblr users talk to me like you genuinely don't consider the fact there is a world outside of what you personally experience. a lot of people responding to me on here can't handle the idea that there are things they don't know and could stand to learn about the world around them. And it's not about whether or not I can get you personally to listen to things that aren't video game soundtracks or whatever, digging in your heels about remaining ignorant about the pov of other cultures is an extremely dangerous mindset to encourage.
frankly I regret even giving yall the out of suggesting music that doesn't deal with themes of violence or sex, because i'm realizing a lot of you cannot handle anything that makes you uncomfortable in any way and you need to grow out of that. A lot of you do need to listen to music about shit that 'scares you and makes you uncomfy', because if you can't even handle a 2 minute song about the reality other people's struggles I don't believe you have the ability to care about it in real life! There is no meaningful conversation about art that I can have with somebody who can't engage with anything that isn't escapism modeled around their specific comfort.
no matter how righteous and unproblematic and knowledgeable you think you are, the process of learning new things, realizing sometimes your ideas are wrong and going out of your comfort zone is never ever going to be over. you are going to live a very sad, very shallow and small life if you freak out about ever being expected to learn or change
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greg-montgomery · 3 days
Note
I would love a fic about Reid’s friend coming to visit him at work and as soon as Hotch lays eyes on her it’s love at first sight. But she’s like really girlie and bubbly so the rest of the team is so confused as to why Hotch is so whipped for her :)
“She said that to you?”
“Yeah…I mean the audacity of some people,” you said shaking your head. “I’ve had enough of her. And I promise you, next time I’m telling our manager.” As if to prove the harshness of your words you dropped on his desk a stapler you had been playing with to occupy your hands.
Spencer smiled, entertained as always from your stories involving your least favorite coworker.
“Anyway, enough with her. We can go now, right?”
“Yeah, just let me get all my stuff.”
A deep voice coming from behind you right before you opened your mouth stopped you from complaining. “Reid, that last report needs-
The fact that you turned around to search for the owner of that voice seemed to stop him from speaking any further.
You blinked softly at him melting under the man’s gaze. He was tall, handsome, and looked like he could easily kill you: just your type.  
“Hotch?” you heard your friend’s voice.
That was Hotch?
“You’re Hotch?
“Yeah,” he breathed out a laugh. “And you are?”
“Y/N,” Spencer introduced you to him. “Sorry, she’s just picking me up.”
“That’s alright,” Hotch replied to him while still looking into your eyes. “So I take it you’ve heard about me.”
“Only the best,” you giggled.
“Yes, I’m sure Reid has never complained to you about paperwork or having to work on a weekend,” he rolled his eyes, not entirely convinced.
“I haven’t!” Spencer defended himself.
Hotch laughed and a beautiful smile stuck on his face. No way this was the same man Spencer had talked to you about that ‘never smiled’ and ‘never blinked’.
“Um…you wanted to tell me something about a report?” your friend awkwardly positioned himself next to you trying to get Hotch’s attention.
“Right,” he said. “It’s…it’s fine. It can wait until tomorrow.”
“Oh, okay.”
--
“Do you see that?” Penelope whispered, grabbing Emily with one hand and JJ with the other.
“What is it?”
“Look,” she said pointing at you from afar.
“Who’s that?” Emily asked.
“And why is Hotch looking at her like he’s about to eat her?” JJ added.
“It’s Y/N, Reid’s best friend.”
“Oh…well good thing she’s not his girlfriend ‘cause…”
“Right?” Garcia said. “Oh my God, do you guys think they’re gonna fall in love? It would be so cute…they will start going on dates and we’re gonna get the weekends off!”
JJ tilted her head observing the pair of you. “You wouldn’t think that’s his type. She looks so…sunshine-y.”
“Well, I think that’s exactly what Hotch needs,” Emily said. “Some sunshine.”
--
“Why didn’t you tell me he was hot?” you asked when you were finally out of everyone’s sight.
“Who?”
“Hotch!”
“Ew…he’s like my dad!”
“To you!” you said opening your car door. “How am I supposed to drive now? My hands are shaking.”
“Because…of my boss?” Spencer asked, sounding confused.
You got into your seat and started giggling, covering your mouth with your hands. “Fuck,” you sighed moving your hands to cup your own cheeks feeling their heat. “This has never happened to me before. I think I just fell in love.”
Spencer gave you a side eye. “We’re still talking about Hotch, right?”
You bit your bottom lip and pulled a little card out of your pocket. “He gave me his number.”
“When did this even happen?”
“When you were putting your stuff in your bag.”
“So he likes you too?”
“I guess,” you smiled.
For a few moments the two of you stared at each other before bursting out in laughter.
“And I always thought Derek would be the one going after you.”
You let out a heavy sigh like a lovesick schoolgirl. “He’s really handsome, Spence.”
“He’s a good man too,” he said.
“So you approve?”
“I would never stand in the way between you and my father figure.”
“Shut up,” you laughed and started your car.
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mostly-imagines · 1 day
Text
So This Is Love
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you show each other what love is supposed to be like
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: section 1: close-call panic attack for j, mentions of ptsd for j // section 2: implied sexual activity // section 3: mild angst w comfort
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He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.
The nightmare wasn’t anything unusual for him, but it did feel particularly vivid tonight. It was more of a memory than anything, though. That same one that plays on a loop in his head throughout the night the more he tries to push it away during the day. It was the last thwack of the crowbar that had him jolt awake in bed.
You shift in your spot next to him, opening your eyes to see his rattled state. If he’d been in a clearer frame of mind he would’ve lied to you. He would’ve expertly leveled his breathing and told you everything was fine and to go back to sleep.
But instead, he looks over at you with wide eyes, chest heaving and shaking like he might start hyperventilating at any moment.
You shoot up from the bed, instantly on alert. This isn’t the first time he’s had one of these nightmares around you, so it’s not hard for you to guess where this is coming from.
“Jay? What’s—what do you need?” You know better than to try and touch him unprompted right now, you’ve panicked enough yourself to know that sudden contact only makes it worse.
“I—I can’t, I—” Now he really looks like he’s about to lose all control of his breathing.
You sit up further, moving onto your knees. “Here, let me—can I see your hand?” you ask gently, holding your own out.
He extends it to you without question, a tiny act of vulnerability that he couldn’t have dreamed of doing in this state before he met you.
You flip his hand over, palm-up and start tracing lines over it in the moonlight. You’re looking at his hand quite intently like there’s something very important on it. It’s enough to make him question what the hell you’re doing. 
“I can read palms.” You tell him, simply. 
“What?” His voice almost breaks, like he’s right at the edge of tears. 
“Yeah, my friend taught me. I can tell the future and everything.” You look up at him, fingers not stopping their trailing. “Do you wanna hear yours?”
All he can do is nod.
You smile and start to inspect his hand carefully, tracing over calluses and a few tiny scars. You draw your finger across the short, deep line parallel to his fingers.
“This one…see the way it curves upwards right there?” He nods. “That means you’re very resourceful and ambitious. Like a leader.” His breathing starts to slow as he watches you, trying to focus on what you’re showing him in the dim light from the window.
“And this one,” you trace the line that curves downwards in the middle, “This one says that you’re strong and stubborn, which I can confirm,” he huffs out a laugh. It’s little but it’s genuine. “But it also means that you’re resilient. You’re built to overcome things and bounce back even stronger because of them. Which I can also confirm.”
He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He takes in a deep breath, watching you draw patterns across the base of his palm.
The sensation soothes him in a way that he frankly didn’t know he could be soothed. He figures he usually can’t, except when it’s you. He tries to match your breathing, syncing up with you. If anyone else tried to get this close to him when he was on the verge of a panic attack they’d get punched, at best.
But you…you always know how to help him. He’s considered in the past that he did something really right somewhere down the line and you were sent to him as reward. He’d racked his mind for hours of every good thing he’d ever done, trying to find one that could explain your presence in his life. For anything that could explain why he deserved you. He poured and poured over every memory he could dig up but couldn’t find any good he’d ever done that surmounted to a single piece of the good in your heart.
There was a time when he would’ve thought—when he did think that you were only in his life to be taken away as soon as he felt safe. That would certainly be in line with previous experiences. But you showed him quickly that you have this way about you…it makes those loud thoughts in the back of his head shut up and just listen. Listen to your words, your breathing, your footsteps, your laugh…anything he could. Because it turns out, when he listens, he feels safe. 
He’s quiet for a long time, contentedly watching you work. He notices that at some point you’d stopped tracing the lines and began drawing designs instead. 
He breaks the silence after several minutes, softly commenting, “You don’t know how to read palms.”
“No, I do not.” 
But you continued to leave your invisible art on the palm of his hand just the same, both of you taking comfort in the sound of the other's breathing and the soothing feeling of each other’s skin.
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The radio plays lightly in the background, surrounding your night with soft ambience. You’re working at the cutting board with tomatoes as Jason leans against the counter next to you, having just finished getting the pasta set up on the stove.
His hands find your hips, resting them there as he watches you work over your shoulder.
“Watch your thumb.” He comments when the knife gets a little too close for his liking.
You shrug him off, “I know how to do it.”
He eyes the way the knife stutters as you cut through the tomato, slicing through not very cleanly at all. “Doesn’t look like it.”
You ignore him, elbowing him gently in the abdomen. He’s joking, but he’s not. The skill level you’re displaying is only above Bruce and slightly below Tim, which is not great.
“Will you let me do it?” he asks you when he realizes there’s going to be no improvement. 
“Fine.” You relent with faux annoyance. 
You switch over to the stovetop, keeping a careful eye on the pasta as it cooks. It’s quiet for a moment as he works, chopping with much more efficiency than you had.  
“You didn’t have to stay here tonight, you know.” You say quietly, still intently watching the stove.
In spite of the music, your low volume does nothing to faze him as he continues his actions, “Why wouldn’t I?”
You stir the contents of the saucepan around. “Well, I know Roy wanted you to go out…”
“Not missing much.” He mumbles, opening up the above cabinet to get out plates.
You lull your head to the side, “Come on, he’s your best friend.”
Jason frowns. “He’s not my best friend.”
You turn your head towards him, “No?”
He meets your gaze, frown consistent. “No. You are.” He says it like he’s confused that you don’t know that. 
“Oh.” You smile, “You’re my best friend too.”
His eyes soften at that, a light smile gracing his lips. He knew that, and he knew you’d say it, but hearing it out loud just…does something to him.
You flick the stove top off, prompting him to on instinct reach for the Marinara jar and crack it open for you. He hands it to you and you accept with a smile, twisting it open the rest of the way as you turn back to the stove. The jar sputters as you open, spitting out sauce.    
“Oh, shit.” You hiss, when the splatter hits your shirt.
He takes one glance at the mess on your shirt and pulls his own shirt off his back. He’s tugging yours off just as fast, replacing it with his. You’ve barely processed what happened as he scans your body, eyes lingering on where his shirt stops at your thighs. “Can you wear this to bed tonight?” He asks, hands running over your waist.
You laugh, “Really?”
He meets your eyes, face serious. “Yes.” He squeezes your hip, “You look good.”
“In your shirt.” You say with a knowing smile.
“In my shirt.” He confirms.
You turn back to the stove to dish out the salsa, his hands skimming around your thighs as you do. He watches you as you work, though rather than watching your hands he’s fixated on the size of his shirt over you and how fucking good you look right now. 
“Or…” He sweeps his eyes over your legs before looking back up at you again. “Did’ya turn the stove off?”
You tilt your head at him, “I did…?”
He grins at you, lifting you up by your thighs til you’re a head above him. “Good.” He maneuvers you over to the counter, setting you on top. He brings your wrist up to his mouth to press a delicate kiss before dropping to his knees.
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You’ve been laying in bed for at least three hours, bordering on sleep but never quite falling in. You and Jason had a little spat, though nothing insurmountable, it was still the biggest fight you’ve had to date. You’d tried going out (at night) to see your friend that was having a hard time, and yeah, you should’ve told Jason you were going. It was only five blocks, give or take, but in Gotham at eleven o’clock at night, it’s a risk to say the least.
You should’ve told Jason, you know. But he wouldn’t have let you go or would’ve insisted on putting hold on patrolling to accompany you. You always feel bad when he does that—people could be getting hurt somewhere because you needed your boyfriend to walk you down the street. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter in the end because he caught you red handed before you’d even made it a full block away. Of all the nights for him to come home early, it had to be this one.
He dropped down from the rooftop behind you and scared the absolute hell out of you, and you didn’t even have time to be relieved that it was just him because he was on you in a flash. 
“What the hell are you doing out here?” His voice was hard through the modulator, a rare tone for him to use with you.
“I just—my friend—” he sounded tired and angry, sure signs that he’d really not had a good night so far which was probably all the more reason that you shouldn’t have been out by yourself in the middle of the night.
“What are you—no! Go home. Now.” You would’ve, you really would’ve, but your friend called you crying about her boyfriend cheating on her again and she needed the in person support. 
“Ja—” You’d cut yourself off, “It’s down the street, it’s fine—” He dropped his shoulders in a huff and faced you dead-on. You didn’t need him to take his helmet off to know exactly how he was looking at you.
He dropped down and hooked his arm around the back of your legs, lifting you off the ground with no discernible effort. “Wha—”
He started walking before you were even fully planted on his shoulder, arm wrapping around your legs to hold you in place. 
“Hood! I am so fucking serious, put me down!” You swatted at his back and struggled in his grip, though in the back of your mind you knew it was a pointless effort. Even if you were a match in size, whatever mood he’d been pushed in was enough to guarantee that you had no chance. 
He ignored you, not even pretending that you were giving him any difficulty with your squirming. He marched you back down the block to your apartment, not stopping until you’re outside your door. He set you down in between him and the entrance, digging into his pocket for his key.
He kicked the door shut behind him, finally letting you go. He wordlessly grabbed one of his spare guns and two cartridges of ammo from inside the closet by the door and turned back to you with a firm stance. “Stay here.”
You immediately tried to push past him again, at that point more angry about him dragging you back here than about having to duck out on your friend. He stopped you, holding you by the arms, which led you to respond by raising your voice at him, “Jason!” 
But he didn’t waste any time letting you know how it is, “I will lock you in this fucking apartment. Stay. Here.” Him cursing at you like that was very rare and not a particularly good sign, so through your anger you’d made the decision that it was better to relent, for now. Your posture dropped and you frowned at him resentfully, a visible cue that you were giving in without you having to say it. 
He stayed true to his word and locked the door on his way out, though knowing you could easily unlock it from the inside. You’d trudged into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.   
Now you lay on Jason’s usual side of the bed, partially because you do miss him, partially because the bed feels a little less empty when you can’t see all the empty space. You know he was just trying to keep you safe after what was probably a rough start to the night, so you feel less than great that you’d yelled at him.
Your dwelling over the memory is interrupted by a quiet creak of the bedroom door. You blink up at him blearily, “Jay?” You sit up, furrowing your brow. You didn’t even hear him come home. “What’s wrong?” You figure he must be hurt to come in here—it’s not unknown for him to sleep on the couch if he feels like he did something wrong or upset you.   
Your eyes attempt to adjust to the darkness, scanning over him for any injuries. He’s out of his armor and in his regular clothes which means he must have showered already. And you know from dozens of nights patching him up that he always tends to his injuries before showering.
This leaves you confused, as you look up at him, waiting for an answer. “I can’t…I don’t want to sleep without you.” He whispers, eyes on the floor. 
You shuffle back into your usual spot near the wall and hold your hand out to him expectantly. You’re still a bit cross with him, but you miss him too much to care right now.
It takes him a second to move, but he eventually lingers away from the door and makes his way to the bed. He takes your hand as he climbs onto the bed, letting go only when you lay down after him, staring up at the ceiling next to him. 
You weren’t entirely expecting him to wrap his arms around you and tug you into his chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’d assumed he would lay on his side and you on yours and that would be enough for him to fall asleep with. Instead, he tightens his arms and buries his face into the crook of your neck. You lay there in silence for a couple minutes, both thinking.
“You’re mad.” He mumbles into your shoulder after a while. You know he feels badly about the dispute, you knew it while it was still happening. As hard as he tries, he’s not very good at hiding his emotions. Not with you, anyways.
You shrug slightly. “Barely. I’ll get over it. This is more important.”
He picks his head up to look at you, “I love you. You know that?”
You wiggle out of his grip a bit, making him frown. You use the new space to flip over to face him, before placing his arm back around your waist. You peek up at him, looking him in the eyes, “I do. You know I love you. Even when we fight.”
He looks at you like he’s a bit thrown off by your words. “I’m sorry. It was just…it was a rough night…I—I’m sorry.” He tells you dolefully.  
You shake your head, frowning. “Don’t be. I should’ve texted you.”
“It—yeah. Please. I just worry about you.” He looks so sad and it makes you feel somehow worse.
“I know,” you whisper, “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be.” He kisses your forehead, not moving away after.
You feel like you can finally relax and your tense body doesn’t take long to slacken in his hold. Soon after, he does the same, both of you closing your eyes. You feel your heart slow and your mind starts to find a space of peace.    
Before you crash out, you mumble out, “I’m going to be a little passive aggressive in the morning, though.”
“I’d hope so.”
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Jason didn’t get it at first.
Honestly, he didn’t really realize that you noticed things about him that even he didn’t see.
Your neighbor was having their place remodeled and you knew there would be construction going on near your apartment all day.
Jason didn’t really care, planning to bury his head under the pillow and trying to sleep through it. You however, seemed very adamant about getting out of the apartment that day. You’d left hours before the construction crew had even gotten there, telling him it was a nice day out.
It was an alright day, but he let you have your way.
You held his hand as you walked down the street, looking into shop windows and commenting on things you think he’d like.
You led him into a book store excitedly, telling him about how the author he’d been binging had just published something new. He didn’t even know that.
You were browsing the sections, flipping through books as you went. You peered across the shop at a kid holding an absolutely massive pile of books, who was clearly struggling to keep them in his arms.
His mother tried to help him but he shook his head and strided away independently, albeit very slowly. The weight of the books though, did get the best of him, and you could tell by the quivering in his arms that he was going to drop them.
“Loud noise.” You said quickly, seemingly out of the blue. Jason turned to you, confused, before seeing the stack the books splat flat onto the ground. It was indeed a loud noise.
He tilts his head at you, though you’re still busy watching the little boy as he throws his head back in frustration.
“What was that?”
You look at him, “He dropped his books.”
“Yeah, I saw. But why—”
His question gets cut off by the kid bursting into tears, wailing. You turn back to look at him, your gaze getting caught by the new book you’d been telling him about. “Ooh!”
You grab his hand and pull him over with you, smiling widely when you have the book in your hands. The sight of you makes him feel so warm so fast that he forgets about the odd interaction all together.
A couple hours later, you sit outside a cafe and eat lunch together, his back to the road, you sitting diagnal to him.
He’s telling you about the shit Damian got in trouble for at school last week, holding your hand with his right hand and eating with his left.
“He thinks he’s not going to get expelled for pulling shit like that every other week, it’s ridiculous.” He says, tossing his napkin down on the table.
Your smile is wavers as your eyes move past his shoulder looking down the block before widening, “Car—”
The sudden noise startles him enough to make him visibly jump, hand flying to where his holster would be. He looks over at the fender bender, shoulders relaxing.
He turns back to you to find your eyes looking far more worried than they should. You seem to be scanning his face, looking for something and he’s about to ask you what’s wrong when it sinks in.
He does get scared by unexpected loud sounds, doesn’t he? He never really thinks of it until it happens, but his mind is trained to expect gunshots or crowbars making impact.
It doesn’t happen often, but it noticeably takes a little piece out of him when it does.
“You…” he tries, but falters. He’s not even sure he’s processing this right.
He’s never seriously tried to fathom that you love him half as much as he loves you, though love doesn’t feel like a strong enough word. He lives and breathes for you, you’ve become a lifeline he’d been stranded without for most of his life. But now you're here and you’re everything, you’re in his head all the time, in every emotion he feels.
He thinks he’s here for you, that he was brought back from the dead because of you. You can’t possibly understand how much his heart is full of you, he doesn’t understand it himself.
He knows you love him, he’s gotten that through his head. But he can’t get a grasp on the idea that he’s equally matched in the who loves who the most battle.
Do you really care that much about him to go out of your way to keep track of things that might startle him? He knows there’s a million things about you that are in the back of his mind at any given time, but surely you don’t operate that same way with him?
Do you?
There’s this burning in his heart that aches and it only gets stronger when he sees you looking at him like that. So genuine. With care, with love.
He squeezes your hand, “I love you. More than anything.”
The look on your face sinks back into that sweet, adorable look that he’s so used to and it makes him want to scream.
You smile that bright smile and it sends his heart rocketing into oblivion. “I love you.” You squeeze his hand back, “More than everything.”
He feels like his heart might burst through his chest.
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