#if anyone understands my rambling pls let me know my efforts to get my point across weren’t in vain 🙏

[el-255]

I find it so poignant in Epic the idea that all of Odysseus’s actions of ‘kindness’ so to speak always come back to bite him in the end (going to the cave to try and show open arms in trusting the lotus eaters, offering the wine to Polyphemus, sparing Polyphemus, his apology to Poseidon) except for his plea to Circe after denying her advances.

And you know why I think that is? Because it’s the only open arms approach that is completely sincere in nature.

Let me explain a little further, everything I’ve listed up to that point has been deception in some sort of way, they only went to the cave on the advice of the lotus eaters because they were desperate. I have no doubt that if given any other choice, Odysseus wouldn’t have gone. He only offered the wine to Polyphemus in an attempt to bargain for his and his crew’s lives and he ends up spiking it with lotus anyways so even if Polyphemus had let them go, he still would’ve ended up being betrayed in some sense. Him sparing Polyphemus is an act of spite against Athena and Polyphemus because he believes himself to be above any sort of repercussions and wants to taunt him for killing his friends. And finally, his apology to Poseidon is insincere at best because at no point does he ever utter the words “I’m sorry”. Not that Poseidon would’ve let him go anyways because I firmly believe at that point he’d already made up his mind to kill Odysseus and his crew but it’s the thought that counts and Odysseus clearly wasn’t sorry in the slightest, only sorry it came back to bite him.

Then we move to Circe and that’s when Odysseus’s luck changes when, after telling her that he will not cheat on his wife, she shows him mercy and helps him out. Because Odysseus was sincere in his affections for his wife and Circe, a woman who has been burned and abused by men in the past, has watched her nymphs suffer at the hands of men, and as a woman who deems all men as pigs because she believes they do not care for women at all, respects him for that. It humanises him.

It gives Circe some sort of hope that things could be better. Her line “maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more” may be immediately followed up with her declaring that instead one day it could need her more and things will get worse, but it gives Circe hope that she never had before. Circe already held the views of her final line, it’s nothing new for her to be untrustworthy of men at best, but for a moment, she wants to believe in a world where men are good and her nymphs would be safe even without her protection. A world where she would be safe.

All because Odysseus was finally being sincere to someone and genuinely poured his heart out which worked! Circe let his men go and helped them get to the underworld which she didn’t have to do at all, she could’ve sent them on their merry way and washed her hands of the whole incident but she didn’t. She wanted to believe in the love between Odysseus and Penelope and did everything in her power to make their reunion possible.

This makes his turn to becoming a monster in the underworld saga all the more upsetting because one good outcome to his kindness does not change others that got his friends killed so he completely gives up on it and embraces the role of being a monster who doesn’t care for anything but getting home, no matter the cost.

Even by the point of his plea for mercy from Circe, a part of Odysseus has already given up on everything Polites tried to in-still in him, but loves his wife so much that he’d never even fathom betraying her despite the fact that he believes cheating on her with Circe (unaware that her seduction is only a farce to kill him) will make her release his men and she’d likely never know that Odysseus had betrayed her. He still can’t do it, it’s Odysseus’s last ditch attempt to try and resolve things peacefully and he’s only doing it for the love of his wife.

It’s tragic irony that the very thing he believes in so sincerely, humanises him so much, and garners him the most help and sympathy is what leads to his downfall to a monster, his love for his wife and his son.

#epic the musical #epic: the musical #jorge rivera herrans #epic the troy saga #epic the cyclops saga #epic the ocean saga #epic the circe saga #epic the underworld saga #this probably makes no sense #but i’m doing it anyway #if anyone understands my rambling pls let me know my efforts to get my point across weren’t in vain 🙏 #basically rehashing what others have said before but infinitely more yapping #horrific overuse of the word because #please don’t judge me it’s like 1am

[franeridart]

Anon said: How are you just like "Oh these are just some warm up sketches" and post a full finished piece, while I'm over here sketching a triangle person and calling it a finished piece.

I dunno if this was a legit question asking for a legit answer, but I do happen to have a legit answer so I might as well give it! If I wanted to go into detals with it it’d take me forever though, so allow me to separate it into two points to make it easier

I learnt how to be very fast in putting down my lines and trained myself into not overthinking every single dot I put down. This took about five or six years of drawing daily and a whole life of drawing occasionally before then, because to do so you need to reach a point where you’re drawing something you’ve drawn so many times that by now your hand sort of goes without you needing to think about it much, so it’s not a fast process, but boy is it worth it. Mostly learning how to not overthink it, overthinking it used to be 90% of my time spent on a drawing and dear god did it suck the joy out of everything I drew

I have two very distinctive ways of approaching a drawing, one where I actually put effort in it and the other where I just want to let the squiggles out of my pen, and warm ups are the second one - the lack of effort I’m putting in can have different forms and show in different ways, so a warm up could be a fully colored piece as it could be just a pencil doodle, depending on where and on what exactly I’m being lazy: it could be the type of tool I’m using that allows me to draw without having to line, it could be a very tiny canvas that lets me avoid a ton of details a big canvas would demand. I might be cutting the time I usually put in making sure my anatomy is correct, I might be using a shading technique that takes a tenth of the time my usual one would, I might be using a style that’s just easier and faster to draw, or drawing characters I’ve drawn a trillion times in extremely generic poses and clothes. There’s a lot of things that I can do to make things faster for me! It’s skills you gain as you draw a lot - you learn how to draw things the hard way, and then you realize that along the way you learnt how to do them the easy way too

hope this actually answers your question! If it was a question at all lol if it wasn’t then sorry for rambling, please pretend I didn’t say anything hahaha

Anon said: I love your newest comic!!! So adorable!! I noticed Bakugou's mom does the affectionate hair rustle thing to him in the manga/anime, do you think Bakugou subconsciously does the same to show affection cause of it? I love the way you draw faces and poses, it's so expressive!!

Ahhhhh thank you so much!!! And yeah, it might be! After all we do take a lot from the people we live with even without realizing, and he’s already so similar to his mom!

Anon said: I saw your bakushima comic from October 9th (2019) where Bakugo falls asleep studying and Kirishima sets him down on the table properly and it was so soft my heart is crying

;;;;; !!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked it!! <3<3

Anon said: If it not to much, could I possibly get a Ochamina doodle pls? I just love some sweet lesbeans 👉👈

Awww I’m not taking requests right now, but I’ll keep it in mind for next time I want to doodle and don’t know what!

Anon said: I love your art! I envy you.

Please don’t! There’s a lot of reasons why being me isn’t a lot of fun - if it’s just my skill you envy, then all you gotta do is draw a lot! 

Anon said: i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and omg it was beautiful seeing the progression in your art skills but still keeping the same funny/cute/heartwarming/etc traits you thought up for their dynamic!! i hope that makes sense haha !! love your art keep it up

It does make sense!!! Thank you so much both for looking through the whole tag and for thinking so, it means a lot to me!! ;;; <3<3

Anon said: Hey fran! I hope you're doing well(especially with quarantine and all)!! I really love your anatomy and how fluid and stylistic it can be! It's super fun to look at! I wanted to ask you if you ever did any in depth studies on anatomy? Like muscles and bones. I've heard a lot of artists mention the necessity of studying bones/muscles, i'd really like to know your opinion on the subject

Ahhh god thank you so much!! And... hmm let’s see if I can word this properly and have it make sense - always keeping in mind that this is just my opinion, of course!

If all you want to do is to draw, then all you need to do is to pick up your pencil and draw - it’s really that easy as far as I’m concerned. You don’t need to know anatomy in depth to just draw, everyone has seen a person, everyone knows how a person looks. That is, if all you want to do is to draw for the sake of drawing. If you want to draw an anatomically correct looking human being, though, you do need to know how anatomy works - and the deeper you’ll go into studying it the more correct your people will look. It’s kind how everyone can draw a bicycle, but if you want to draw a realistic bicycle you’re gonna need to look up references for it, you know? It’s all on the level at which you’re interested in drawing, the more technically skilled you want to be the more you’ll have to study

As for my personal experience with this, I hate studying with a passion. Studying puts a damper on my enjoyement of everything, and drawing isn’t excluded from this - you put a book in front of me expecting me to study it and suddenly I never want to pick up a pencil again. This means that I never sat down and studied anatomy in depth and all in one go just to learn how to draw a human being, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t, slowly and now and again and in bits and pieces, study parts of the body to get a better understanding of it. I know better about the skeleton than I do about muscles, and I still have enough to learn about everything that anyone who’s studied anatomy properly would find a trillion mistakes in everything I draw, but my way of going about drawing has always been and always will be putting my enjoyement of it first and foremost, so I’m not interested in putting myself through a tour-de-force to learn everything there is to know about anatomy just to make my doodles look appealing to someone with a medical degree haha I’m just doing me, and when the mood is right I look up how to properly draw something, but until then I just do it as best as I can with my limited knowledge, being fully aware that what I’m producing is far from accurate but being willing to make that compromise for my own comfort

So that’s my opinion on it lol it all boils down to how important it is for you to know how to properly draw the human body - of course it’s gonna look more professional and better if you’ve studied it, but everyone has their own priorities, you know?

Anon said: Thank you for your hard work, seeing an upload from you is so nice, and the colors are so pretty

Thank you so muuuuccchhhhh!!!! TTATT <3<3<3

Anon said: Opinions on Tokoyami Fumikage 💕

One of my top faves in the whole manga, actually! I have a drawing in the making of him, I should get back to it..........

Anon said: HOLY SHIT FRAN THE TOES HOW YOU DRAW THE TOES SO WELL FEET ARE THE DEATH OF ME AND YOU’RE OVER HERE DRAWING TOES THEY’RE SO GOOD PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!!! -❤️

Thank you!!!!!!!! So pretty much my way of learning this specific skill was being obsessed with elves when I was fifteen and wanting to draw them all the time  and also for whatever reason being convinced that they were not supposed to wear shoes so I just drew a lot of feet with references and tutorials and stuff till I could draw my elves properly. Which isn’t necessarily what you need to do to learn how to draw feet, but, I mean, it worked for me lol

Anon said: I love ur Bnha ships and all but what would u do if some of them didn’t become canon??

Oh, I actually don’t care about that at all? I don’t expect most of them to become canon anyway - like, ochadeku sounds reasonable and kamijirou seems to be getting there, but everything else I never even considered it as an actual possibilily. I don’t really ship because I want to see my ships become canon, I just like the potential in what I can make with them? If that makes sense? They’re just fun to think about and I like making fancontent, that’s all there is to it really haha honestly if I had my way no ship would ever be canon ever ha ha ha

Anon said: Slep is for the wek

No actually sleep is for Frans who want a chance at getting up tomorrow morning without an headache for once, so I should do that and go to sleep already lmao

#fran answers #a couple of long ones in this one !!!!! #feeling blabbery tonight

[pensivetense]

*vague high pitched noises in the direction of you OG!Elias hot takes*

I love them, if you have any more pls share.

Also; OG!Elias & Jonah friendship/relationship any more thoughts on that???

Ahhh thank you very much!! I Am Not Immune To The Inherent Intimacy Of Bodysharing. I’ve rambled a bit about them here but I always have more thoughts :)

(Okay this took me FOREVER to get to I’m so sorry—the sleep deficit I’ve been running on the week has been insane and the words just didn’t want to word.)

I have a whole backstory for ogElias that lives in my head, and is completely not based in anything canonical, but anyway:

I know that Jonah probably just picks who’s most convenient at the time but Elias accidentally had to go and embody one of my deepest fears and I can’t just let that go so In My Head Jonah picks Elias initially because he’s perfectly suited to the Eye. He’s from a large old family that Jonah actually looks into carefully just in case they’re secretly Lukas-adjacent because they’re just kind of awful. (He might court the Lonely but he’s careful not to invite it in too far—he knows he’s not invulnerable to it.)

But no, the Bouchards are just what they appear to be—a family with too much money and self-importance and history to make up for what they lack in character, and who have as a result become obsessed with public optics, to the detriment of their children. Pulling off the semblance of being a stable, socially presentable family is far more important to them than actual connections, and so Elias and his siblings grow up under the oppressive eye of their parents, who are always scrutinizing how they act, speak, dress, etc. to preserve their public image. Predictably this is hell on everyone involved, but where Elias’s siblings manage to scrape together either the will to pretend or actually absorbing the philosophy, Elias is the family disappointment. Okay so in my head he’s trans, but really there are any number of things that would earn the disappointment of a family obsessed w/ optics. I imagine them as being the unfortunately gaslighty kinds of people who are always going on about how he should just act the way they want him to because ‘they know who he really is better than he does’ or some awfulness like that.

So from this he’s had to actually cultivate a very strongly self-protective sense of identity. He’s going to be him, and he’ll fight to the death to preserve his individuality against a lot of pressure to conform. But on the flipside of that, he’s actually not in a very good place because while he’s cultivated a very definitive self image, he’s terrified of letting anyone actually get close enough to see the real him through the image because the constant judgement has worn on him to the point that he doesn’t want to let anyone have the leverage of being able to dismiss or attack his sense of self.

So this is the perfect combination of traits for Jonah’s purposes—Elias is isolated, terrified of being seen because that makes him vulnerable and equally terrified of not being seen/having his selfhood acknowledged.

What Jonah utterly fails to take into account is just how well they’re suited to each other. Because both of them are incredibly self-protective people but in different directions—Jonah’s willing to sacrifice his identity in order to preserve his life, and Elias is the sort of person who would wouldn’t care about dying if he could be guaranteed an honest eulogy. So in a certain sense they share enough of a personality type and sort of survivalist mentality to fundamentally understand each other, even when they hate each other. Furthermore, Elias is so used to having to defend himself against assaults on his basic sense of self that he’s actually quite resilient in that regard, and though watching his life be stolen without anyone even noticing is literally his most primal terror, Jonah can’t just shove him to the back of their headspace and forget about him, or whatever he’s done with previous hosts. In a sense, Elias has the one rebellion left to him of choosing to remain himself after all of the rest of his choices are taken from him, and this is also partially why he ‘forgets’ to be angry at Jonah—because in a certain sense it’s an assertion of his personality to purposefully maintain all of the parts of himself, and not just what’s filtered through his fear and anger.

Usually when Jonah monologues at his hosts it’s for the purpose of torturing them, but unfortunately he finds that he actually? Enjoys Elias’s company when Elias is forgetting to be angry? And it’s about the most secure relationship he can possibly cultivate because he has total control of the situation, so he lets himself start to like Elias, in the same sort of resigned way that Elias starts to like him. For Elias, his choices have suddenly been narrowed down to nearly none, so he may as well make the best of an objectively awful situation. For Jonah, Elias is absolutely ‘safe’ because he’s powerless to affect the world in any meaningful way, so Jonah may as well indulge himself in all of the socialization he’s missed since his original body. (He has such a wide network of friends and acquaintances in the 1800s that he must be a people person.)

I think that under the right circumstances they could influence each other in positive ways—Elias could make Jonah a little less self-destructive, and having Jonah’s attention and regard would allow Elias to relax his guardedness. So in a sense they both make each other care a little more about the aspects of life that they’ve decided are disposable/unimportant to their survival by seeing those aspects through the other’s eyes, so to speak. This allows them both to actually start enjoying more things about life—Elias wants to know who Jonah is as a person and is disappointed when he finds out that Jonah doesn’t seem to put much thought or effort into himself, and Jonah’s adamant desire to not die starts to infect Elias a little with a willingness to adapt in order to survive, at which point he really starts to examine what he wants out of this relationship.

Unfortunately, this is where the inherent power imbalance rears its head, because if Jonah genuinely starts to care about Elias as a person he’s going to realise just how permanently he fucked their relationship from the start. Quite apart from the whole body-snatching thing, they can’t get the space from each other or the autonomy that a partnership of equals demands, and of course they can’t have a partnership of equals because Jonah’s got literal supernatural powers and centuries of age on Elias and is also effectively his jailer. Whether he can or cannot cede any physical autonomy to Elias if he wants, he also has to choose how much influence he allows Elias to have over him as a person and in terms of decisions.

I think by this point Elias knows absolutely everything about the Mass Ritual, because Jonah overshares because he’s socially starved and also because the Eye likes it, so the way I see it is on one extreme, Elias takes a definitive moral stand and they end up in a really yearn-y relationship where they’re always together but can’t really be together, or on the other he just says fuck it and decides to be evil, too, partially as a way of asserting control over his situation, and they end up being extremely codependent. (And of course any mixture of the two.)

But in particular, because I’m a massive fan of Elias killing Jonah, I like the former scenario because he’d do it if he got the opportunity but it would hurt, but he’d have to because I think that no matter what, if Jonah had complete control, he’d never give that up or turn aside from his immortality quest, in love or not.

More miscellany:

-I like the idea of Elias being the one who’s got the methodical/logical way of thinking, vs Jonah as the imaginative/intuitive one. Jonah’s got his moments of high drama despite the bland bureaucrat persona, and I like the idea of Elias as working as a file clerk on purpose because he likes paperwork and organisation and he could not care less about the degree that his family made him go and get.

(Original post of takes here )

#wow I’m so sorry this took so long! #(also forgive the run-on sentences and the blatant projecting) #long post #og!elias

[chocosvt]

(below is a mix of rambling/more discussion/some updates on where my blog is heading, read if u wish)

to be frank, at this point, i don’t think an apology statement is in sight. pledis has proved time and time again how manipulative and apathetic they are as a company. even the bare minimum - making a small edit in the clip which would have removed the offensive segment - is ignored. no matter how vocal this fandom was, pledis chose to do absolutely nothing. they would rather preserve clips of their artists normalizing an abhorrent, discriminatory song than issue a simple statement, leaving south asian carats to ruminate in this nauseating uncertainty and exhaustion. and it seems to unearth the question: “is this a space i want to be in?”

it’s not anyone’s place to dictate one’s opinion on whether or not they feel comfortable in this fandom. this name doesn’t just encompass kcarats. it’s global. it’s everyone whose decided to support the group so dedicatedly. the way svt have adapted the term “global idol” is questionable when taking into account the ignorance that has been demonstrated. this is nothing new or nothing that hasn’t already been voiced, but seriously, idols shouldn’t expand to a global platform if they’re going to be selective with their respect. 

around 2018-ish, i couldn’t keep up with any group apart from svt, nor did i truly want to get involved with other groups. since their debut, svt has been such a lovely source of happiness and comfort. even when i had to endure some of my toughest moments, i could always turn to them in order to regain strength. so admittedly, observing the complete silence from their end was disheartening. i’m not part of the affected culture, so i cannot begin to imagine such sentiments of disappointment. i do feel a strain on the relationship i once had with svt. 

watching ww’s live, it was unsettling and there were many moments of stiffness. i want to believe that ww would have apologized (dk + vn too) if pledis were not the complete control freaks they establish being, but truthfully i don’t know what’s up in his head nor his heart. nonetheless, this idol coddling is so toxic (i could really write a whole essay on this). they’re not some fifth graders, they’re matured men in their twenties who are more than capable of understanding any cultural insensitivies and how their actions entailed hurt. i was relieved to see so many fans actually holding them accountable, to a point where the original artist himself released a statement and even the damn news got involved.

i wish that we could have got even an inkling of closure. just that tiny, tiny moment where ww briefly mentions the song being cut out. many people have suggested to remain persistent with emailing (not just the pledis accounts, but the bighit accounts as well) and i’ve seen others suggesting to opt from buying tickets to the online caratland event. i can’t see this ending in a manner where any action will be taken. unless someone manages to sneak this topic into another online fs or something along those lines where there’s direct contact, i have no idea what’s gonna happen.

this was a mentally and physically draining week. i hope all south asian carats who had to yet again watch their culture get shaved down to these harmful stereotypes take the time to look after themselves, nurture themselves, step away from this train wreck and prioritize things that are fun and healing!! it’s not your responsibility to educate ignorant people when so many resources are easily accessible. getting into kpop comes with an unhealthy cost. the industry is blanketed with casual racism and it moves slower than molasses when it comes to addressing the layers of disrespect and indifference. 

i also need to question if this is something worth my energy. i’ve been writing on this platform for five years now. i need to decide if this is something i want to keep putting effort into. i’m beyond tired of witnessing pledis brush any serious concern under the rug while scrambling to make amends for insignificant matters that no one legit cared about apart from a few disgruntled kcarats. right now, i’m not in a mood where i want to post svt content or write svt related stories. until there is an apology that suggests actual remorse, growth, and willingness to be evolve in the event there are other blemishes (which seems highly unlikely) i won’t be as present as i used to. 

overall, i’m not sure the direction of my blog. i think i need to step away from chocosvt for a few days so that i can really process. my plans are definitely not to abandon my main. and as time passes maybe i’ll feel less hesitant. 

of course, i’m going to continue my admin position on caratwritersclub because i truly do love writing! i love reading the different works and seeing how galaxy brained you all are! in terms of my own writing, it’s most likely going to come to a standstill. i might finish my massive kmg fic and post it (as well as the yjh and ljh fics in my drafts) but like i previously mentioned, i need to question if keeping up with svt as adamantly as before is worth my energy. i’m not saying i’ll NEVER write or post about them again. writing is one of my only mental escapes that legitimately works. rather, i might ease off and ponder what’s the best road to take, and how involved i should remain as their fan. 

whew.

to end off this gigantic scripture, i’m going to mention that i made a new personal blog. my old one is too cluttered. it’s not completely ready yet but i’m  thinking that i’ll make a smaller post which summarizes some of my ending points. i’ll link it there. i think some kartists will still make an appearance (and there will absolutely be mr. moon wen junhui), but mostly other things i’m interested in!! feel free to drop a follow and mutuals i’ll fb as soon as i can!!! if you read this entire thing then i hope it wasn’t too disorganized. if any part of this comes across as over speaking or invalidating pls let me know! i can really freakin ramble when i’m just sitting here w my thoughts. 

anyways, I’M DONE NOW.  

#pls don't rb thank u! #i'm not sure what to tag this as #ramble/discussion/update???

[exosmutfactory]

mannnnnnnn all these theories and all make me want to read more 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (no pressure or anything, just be being dumb pls) i’m a sucker for happy endings but this is all just reaaaally fucked up and it can get ever worse... i just wanna give riley a big fat hug and tell baekhyun to fuck off and look what he has done, bc it’s the same exact thing haneul did to him in some sort of way??? idk she hurt him beyond repair and he hurts riley and even melody?? and all his friends with his behavior so... i think riley getting her happiness, self love and maybe some spicy one night stands, AS WELL AS NEW FRIENDS and baekhyun getting out of his mess, his family and his demons with therapy and then finally reuniting them would be CHEF’S KISS but idk bebfbdjfjdjfjf knowing you, riley could be pregnant rn or some of his ex’s and then the rest is history JSJDJDB

(Here comes another long response because I am bursting with in love with Six Phases’ theories energy!!!💖💖💖)

All the theories make me want to write more asdfghjkl I love them 💞 Happy endings are my guilty pleasure, like yeah you can bring me and the characters through a world of pain, but no closure??? No way for them to move on with a lighter heart? It crushes me to the core!! Anddd that’s why I don’t read angst 😅 if I do I’m in the mood to cry.

It’s a huge mess, from start to finish. But Riley sensed this coming in a way, she’s talented at knowing when trouble is over the horizon... but she didn’t pay attention to the warning signals this time. She thought things were looking better only for it all to crash and burn, just as she feared it would.

She didn’t deserve any of this. Despite her own flaws, her doubts, her issues, and the demons of her past, time and time again she chose to reach out for Baekhyun instead. Even in the middle of her crying, she chose him over herself so she could be there for him. So she could understand him. She just wants to love him, and he’s not putting in the same effort - not even half of it! Not even the most important part!

Communication is a reoccurring theme, it can make and break just about anything. Friendships, relationships, business deals. Speak your mind, be open with yourself and with others who choose to share those sacred truths with you.

I’m rambling again oof - back to the topic! 😅 huhuhu 🤭 dear you’re in for a treat with what I’m “cooking” up in my drafts. 17 scenes is a lot of ground to cover, and with my luck, it will be another long journey within itself. That’s what Six Phases does to ya 😔💓💓

I have a confession - or more like a few 😇

There will be a happy ending, but at what cost? There will be another man who gets close to Riley, but who will it be? How will it go? How will it end?

Endless possibilities, and if you’re curious about who will be coming along... here’s this ask that I answered last month for reference 🥰 

Anon O.o you are so clever! What the heck, are you tapping into my mind or what? Stop it, there are spoilers galore in there 💗💗💗 you notice the look Melody and Baekhyun shared at the table?

♬♩♪♩

“I still don’t understand why you broke up in the first place.” Mr. Byun grunts, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Baekhyun and Melody share a knowing look, and the emotion in both their eyes has my food coming back up.

♬♩♪♩

These two have history waiting to be revealed. And damn will it pack a punch 🤭

Speaking of Haneul, yes, Baekhyun has become the person he hates. It’s just like bul*ying, you know? The mean guys beat up the little guy, the little guy beats up a smaller guy... The cycle continues over and over when no one is brave enough to admit that, “Hey, someone fucked me up and instead of getting help imma keep it all in and do the same exact thing to cope with my trauma.” Misery loves company, folks 

This is so deep, I can go on all day, I’m- 😳

To be honest, at this point I wonder if Riley will let anyone in... New people or the ones she has seen take Baekhyun’s side in this. (And, hey, do you want 40 more characters introduced in the next update? I don’t think I can manage, I’m barely keeping up! hehe) If nothing else, she needs to work on herself before getting involved with anyone else - one night stands has me wondering though... Hmm... Once upon a time (6 months ago) I considered such a thing. I’ll keep it in my thoughts >:)

Baekhyun needs help, if he keeps going on like this he will bend and break until he’s so broken nothing will be able to fix him... Let’s hope this painful breakup has made him realize his mistakes 💔

I love happy endings, and these two dating each other even with all their flaws. They are chaotically beautiful in love, in hate, in everything when they come together. But they are growing up now, the world expects more from them, and they should expect more from themselves. They need to accept their past, present, and move towards a healthy, long-lasting future. For themselves, and everyone around them 💗 Growing pains hurt, but why not make the end result one worth hurting for?

Oof sorry for this long response lovely 😅 I got knee-deep in my story musings - also! 🤣🤣🤣 I love how you think. I have a habit of creating these angsty scenarios, huh? hehe 🥰💗 Thank you for commenting~~ Hope you like what comes next 🤭😇💖

#Six Phases #So much to think about... #And y'all are so witty #🌸💗

[vaguely-concerned]

I am reading the Rogue One visual guide and I’m going to ramble at you about it

Starting with Baze and Chirrut facts because nothing is more important than Baze and Chirrut

- The Guardians of the Whills believe very deeply in the Force but their cosmology doesn’t center any fight between light and dark and they believe mortal minds can ‘encompass the totality of the Force’ with the right training (seemingly even for non-Force sensitives). *thinks of a little green baby who’s going to need some help with his place in the universe one day and how reductive the light/dark side dichotomy can be* good to know good to know. yes everything eventually comes down to baby yoda and his poor stressed out dad. protect them

- “Opposites in balance. Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus share a homeworld and a history, although they strike a compelling contrast. Baze is a hardened pragmatist, while Chirrut’s faith flourishes even in trying times. They both claim to act as the protector of the other.” 

in every way they are #goals. bffs/partners to lovers is Everything. ‘They both claim to act as the protector of the other’ is very funny and very sweet and very true; my favourite thing

- this book describes chirrut as baze’s ‘best friend and moral compass’, which is a funny way of spelling ‘husband of 30 years’ but who am I to criticize 

- baze is just. he’s so good. they say here pragmatism is his biggest trait but you can tell how much love has been at the center of him (and probably continues to be under it all) from the totality of his rage. I don’t think you can be this deeply hurt without loving just as deeply first. (like chirrut says, he used to believe more than anyone and now he’s thrown aside literally everything about the guardians except chirrut) it’s like he’s suffered a moral wound just seeing what’s happened to his home and it won’t heal and it never does, he just loses chirrut too and then at least it’s over. jesus christ it’s so soul crushingly sad in a quiet undramatic way 

- “Though both are Guardians of the Whills, Baze and Chirrut could not be more different in their approach to combat. Traditionalist Chirrut still carries weapons associated with the ancient order, while Baze adopts an implement of modern warfare. Their methods suit them individually, and both are effective extensions of their distinctive personalities. Though Baze may chide Chirrut for his antiques, and Chirrut may decry Baze’s reliance on soulless tools, they trust each other’s defences to such weapons.”

THEY TRUST EACH OTHER’S DEFENCES TO SUCH WEAPONS. YOU HAD TO WORD IT LIKE THAT HUH. YOU HAD TO GO AND MAKE IT CLEAR THEY’RE EACH OTHER’S MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. WHAT. THE FUCK

- it’s implied baze’s hair used to be shorter when he was a Guardian! he’s just let it grow past what’s customary for them (and an excellent choice too his hair is wonderful)

- his repeating blaster is described as ‘modified and highly illegal’ hahaha

it also weighs 30 kg and is meant to be mounted on a tank

baze is the best

- chirrut built his own lightbow! apparently used to be a thing the guardians did to symbolize the end of their training. I wonder if baze used to have one too? even more I wonder if they’ve always been part of the same uh ‘divisions’ or what have you within the guardians, because I think there are some implications that baze has been more of an assassin/focused on violent conflicts even before the empire came and chirrut hasn’t

- this book does not adequately capture chirrut’s trickster/funny side, making me wonder how much of that was an addition by the actor and how much was planned out

- honestly... more baze & chirrut (well baze/chirrut let’s not play here) prequel books WHEN. what does their living room look like (because we do know they live together) how did they meet, when exactly did baze lose his faith and chirrut his sight, what was their first kiss like 

inquiring minds want to know (it’s me I want to know) 

- unless the wording is deliberately misleading here chirrut was not born blind (though he won’t discuss how he ended up this way) and he’s learned his current fighting technique over a prolonged period of time 

- bodhi is a bit of a gambling addict! and specifically one who’s pretty good at it; even after the empire knows he’s a defector he gets past their restrictions because he’s saved up all the credits/favours/even id-vouchers he’s owed by other imperial grunts fsdhfksdjf precious I love him 

- saw gerrera’s medical droid a) has been modified so its programming won’t stop it from being able to dispense drugs at dangerous intervals, b) professes sheer bafflement that saw is still alive and c) is ‘frequently deactivated to prevent it from building an ethical case to discontinue treatment’. I find the whole thing darkly hilarious.  

- there are literally whole subplots going on in the crowd scenes on Jedha about a mad evil surgeon who ‘decraniates’ people (essentially turning them into mindless servile husks with all of their head above the nose cut off, somehow), a masked cop from the Milvayne Authority who’s gone rogue to do the right thing and hunt him down against orders, a death cult, a bunch of different religious sects, a translation droid who has befriended a group of local orphans and shares his credits with them so they can eat and he’s SAVING UP FOR A PROCESSOR UPGRADE SO HE CAN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF SPIRITUALITY ;_____; what the fuck I want a tv-series about this droid IMMEDIATELY 

- this book shows you just how crucial K-2 is as an asset and what a masterstroke cassian’s reprogramming of him is... and it says some very, very sweet things about cassian as a person under all the trauma and spy stuff that he essentially treats him as his best friend instead of a tool. cASSIAN he deserved to survive and have SO much therapy ;_____; ah well at least we’re getting a prequel series about him right? pls be good

- oh cassian was a proper separatist during the clone wars! he probably has some very interesting points of view about the republic pre- and post empire huh (this is what I love about the clone wars era; they have built SUCH a believable and interesting political world here, all shades of grey. there were separatists with very valid points even thought they were lead by a guy named COUNT DOOKU played by CHRISTOPHER LEE, the first sign that you should look inwards and ask yourself... wait are we the bad guys)

- it’s so much more understandable to me now who in the rebel leadership is for following jyn’s plan and who is not. (namely: the ministers of finance and industry are both Not Into challenging the empire directly, kind of understandably)

in depth description of weapons technology... I sleep. deep dives into the political structure of the alliance leadership and their backgrounds and motivations? I have never been happier

(this. sort of should have been in the actual movie tho things would have made more sense)

- BAIL ORGANA Leia’s actual dad out there lookin’ fiiine, being righteous and good, almost making me forget he’s going to die SO SOON oh fuck :( 

- orson krennic is, presumably straight faced, described as ‘a cruel but brilliant man’ which is PATENTLY LUDICROUS because krennic is by literally every indication a fucking idiot, he needs galen to do all the real work for him, he mouths off to DARTH VADER and then tarkin just effortlessly swoops in and fucks him over in the end, easily outmaneuvering him... orson krennic is a fucking loser I don’t care if he’s the one who introduced brutalist architecture to coruscant

lol lol lol *arrow pointing towards krennic’s head* ‘Keen mind dissects architectural puzzles and conspiratorial plots’ okay I see what happened here orson krennic wrote this book 

- oh galen erso is kind of one of the most interesting and heartbreaking characters in all of star wars. (and I do not say this just because of mads mikkelsen’s cheek bones) he’s incredibly intelligent but from a really poor family and wanted to eliminate the difference between rich and poor and invent a new form of infinitely renewable energy... and technically he did achieve that, except his old college buddy orson krennic immediately found a way to use his technology for genocide and he didn’t realize until it was too late :’) there is something so comforting in the fact that in the end galen still got the last laugh in the most epic but unsung way. he’s the sort of quiet Magnificent Bastard who doesn’t even care he’ll never get the credit as long as it worked. u did good on that one jyn

also several of the scientists galen is leading on eadu are in the same category as him -- captured and forced to work for the empire. so that’s great and not at all upsetting 

- galen and lyra’s falling in love story is kind of sweet (though naturally it pales against baze and chirrut’s whole deal but then who could compare) and the sheer effort and detail that’s gone into building the farmstead in the beginning we end up seeing for 5 minutes... dude (it feels very convincingly like somewhere a family would live though) 

- *sees that ‘databook’ is a concept that exists apparently; groans in fic research I thought ‘holodisc’ might do the job but maybe this is a better fit*

- I will say that my largest gripe with this movie is how glaringly unnecessarily male it is. there’s literally no reason for most of the rebels and ESPECIALLY all of the scientists to be male but here we are. 

well the stormtroopers could all canonically be any gender behind the armor so uh that’s. something lol

- despite being all desert-y jedha is apparently quite cool! temperature-wise I mean though the huge ancient statues lying everywhere are pretty awesome too

- wow stormtrooper armor really does just suck huh. it’s like ‘well it might protect you from a blaster bolt if you stand upwind and angle yourself just right, who knows’. I guess this is why everyone and their grandmothers are drooling over mando’s beskar lol

- star wars’ insistence on sticking to single-biome planets is so silly and I love it. stick to that incomprehensible world building decision lucasfilm I respect you

- mon mothma! basically the most important character in the star wars universe who most people won’t know about lol she’s like the anti-palps. for the most part she is one of the most Big Goods in all of star wars (along with bail) but also she’s played by the actress who voices moira in overwatch so I do instinctively distrust her whenever I hear her talk haha. called palpatine a ‘lying executioner’ to his face which is both admirably bold and remarkably restrained, considering all the things palpatine is.

- oof the two people mentioned the most on anakin/vader’s pages are palpatine and obi wan. that’s. hurtful and bad and awful. the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making me watch ‘clone wars’ because watching ‘clone wars’ actually made me care about anakin skywalker :(

-ah shit this is a lot of pages about pasty empire dudes i’ll uh come back to these lol

#first post of 2020! keeping it on rambling brand into the new decade #star wars #rogue one #baze x chirrut #meta #if you're here for information about baze's hair and how overwatch has coloured my view of a star wars character... #boy have I got a post for you lol

[d-c-it]

I rather forget - 3

Intro, One, Patton, Logan.

Summary: Despite Logan's best efforts to talk sense onto Remy they end up in another of Deceit's memories. Virgil is slowly losing it, Logan is cool (in Roman's opinion.) and something wicked seems to be going on in the subconscious.

Ships: platonic DLAMP, platonic Loceit, platonic Logince (just give love to my bby pls)

Warnings: sympathetic Deceit, blatant disregard for privacy…(I'm looking at ya Remy)

A/n: There's this weird riddle here, tell me if you've heard of it or if you guessed the answer before Logan! Roma’s chapter is half written, it’ll be split in two (oh, the irony). Also very gay chapter, just saying.

.

Logan clears his throat.

“I don’t think is a good idea to meddle into Deceit’s memories, is unrespectful and...”

“This one has you in it, four eyes!” points Remy.

“I only have two eyes, not fo...wait, what?” he frowns, and before anyone could say anything Remy poked the picture and they all got sucked again.

This time they seemed to be in a library. Thomas didn’t know he had one in his head, let alone one so big! Deceit appeared standing next to a young Logan, they seem to be a way older than in the last memory.

'Did you call?' said Deceit, his voice sounded weird, like an echo.

'Yes, you see, I’m afraid I’m having trouble understanding this riddle and, since it has to do with lies, I thought that perphaps you could help me.' spoke Logan, without looking up at the yellow side. Deceit raised an eyebrow.

'Very well then' he said. Receiving a nod from Logan.

'The riddle goes like this:

You are a prisoner in a room with 2 doors and 2 guards. One of the doors will guide you to freedom and behind the other is a hangman, you don't know which is which. One of the guards always tells the truth and the other always lies. You don't know which one is the truth-teller or the liar either. You have to choose and open one of these doors, but you can only ask a single question to one of the guards. What do you ask so you can pick the door to freedom?'

The logical side finally looked up to Deceit, who had a smirk in his face.

'Ugh, Logan…' said Virgil, pulling his hoodie over his face, earning a huff from Logan.

'Now I remember when I was obsessed with riddles… ' whispered Thomas.

'Yes, It was quite an enlightening phase of yours.' agreed Logan, fixing his tie.

'Say that for yourself.' barked back Virgil.

'Gurl, if I knew I was going to be given a mental skill class I would have skipped.' complained Remy.

'Well, think again next time you poke a frame, Mr. "Do I have to remind you not to touch anything"!'

'Oh come on, could you shut up? I can't hear!' exclaimed Roman, seemingly very interested in the conversation the young sides were having.

'…It’s quite simple.' Answered Deceit. Earning a shining look from young Logan, which caused him to blush a little. 'What is it you have trouble with?'

'Well, for instance, I have trouble deciding who to ask to. I thought the logical answer would be to try and find out which guard is the truthful one and ask him, however, the riddle does say I cannot ask a second question but perhaps if I formulate it well…' he stopped once he saw Deceit shaking his head.

'The goal is not to find out which guard is truthful. The goal is to find the correct door.' said Deceit as he lifted his hand. The library vanished in a second, making everyone but Remy stumble, even when the floor didn't move for them at all.

Young Deceit and Logan were both now standing in front of two guards with two doors behind them.

'I had important stuff in there!' complained the logical side from the memory. Deceit just laughed.

'Well, you better solve this then, one of those doors leads to the library, and the other mmm… let’s say it leads to the imagination, directly to Roman.'

'Ugh'

'HEY!' yelled Roman. Logan fixed his tie.

'We didn’t get along back then, it’s obvious I would find less than appealing being thrown into the imagination.' Logan defended himself, earning a grumble from the prince.

Patton giggled in the background, while Thomas and Virgil hid a smile. They put their attention back to the memory when Deceit started laughing again. Watching as Logan started rambling to himself while the yellow side only waited with a patient smile. It was impressive how long the young logic could talk without breathing. Only when Logan stopped to get air, Deceit talked.

'What would happen if you asked one to tell you if that door goes to the library?' he said, pointing to the door on the left.

'Well it depends, if that is, in fact, the correct door to the library. If I ask the liar he’d say no, if I ask the truthful one he’ll say yes.'

'Well then don’t ask them what they would say.'

'What?' they all asked in unison, excepting Logan, who nodded.

'I’m not sure I understand…' young Logan frown before his eyes widened. 'Of course!' he exclaimed, excited. Deceit only smiled wider.

'What, what is it? I wanna know!' said Patton, jumping in place.

'Just wait a few moments…' whispered Logan, as the younger logical side stepped towards one of the guards.

'How did you know that one was the one you should ask?' said Virgil.

'I chose randomly.'

'Uh…'

'If I were to ask the other guard if this is the right way to the library, what would they say?' asked young Logan, pointing the door behind said guard.

'Yes' said the guard.

'But you still don't know if that's true?' asked Thomas. Behind him Virgil was massaging his temples.

They watched as younger logic went to the opposite door and opened it, smiling as it showed the rows of infinite books, and looked back at Deceit, who only shrugged. The memory ended there.

' What the actual-' started Remy.

'Language!'

'That was SO COOL' exclaimed Roman, earning a blush from Logan. 'Even if I don't know what the frick happened.'

'In the end it was quite simple.' exclaimed Logan. 'If I asked the truthful one, he would tell me that the liar would point to the door that leads to the imagination. Same If I asked the liar, he would tell me that the truthful guard would point to the door that leads to imagination, because he’s lying. Therefore, no matter who I asked, both would tell me which door lead to Roman, hence why I picked the other door.”

'Stop…just stop…' said Virgil, massaging his temples.

'I'm to impressed to feel offended.' laughed Roman, Patton laughed with him while clinging to his arm.

'If it makes you feel better.' said Logan. 'I wouldn't mind getting stuck in the imagination with you anymore.' finished, with a small blush. Thomas smirked and gave him a slight punch in the arm.

'Well that's…' started Roman, tears glistening in his eyes.

He didn't finished, but gave Logan a huge smile. Logic nodded, grabbing Remy before the function decided to touch another random yellow frame. Thomas joined him on Remy's other side, ignoring the complains from the bad boy wannabe.

A thunderous sound came barreling through the walls, alerting all of them. Every pair of eyes landed in Remy.

'Oh, shoot.'

.

Tags: 

@the-strawman

@overlyenthusiasticauthor

@askthesnake

@no-no-no-no-6

@korsaromantic66

#thomas sanders sides #sanders sides #sander sides #thomas sander sides #sympathetic deceit #deceit sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remy sanders #ts deceit #ts patton #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #ts remy #character thomas #next: roman p1 #if i dont come up with a better name #tw deceit #pls talk to me about that riddle #i rather forget au #platonic DLAMP #platonic loceit #platonic logince

[ultraericthered]

Linkara’s Team Galactic Bad Take

So I finally found this video, which is what inspired that little controversy regarding Lewis Lovhaug’s take on Cyrus and Team Galactic five years ago, where he made that long ass bitchfest post in response to me asking what his problem with Cyrus in Platinum was. 

Contrary to my and I think many others’ views, Lewis seems to think Cyrus was a worse villain/character in Platinum than he was in Diamond & Pearl due to the whole “vague and incomplete spirit” factor getting more pronounced as opposed to just leaving it at the simpler, easier to grasp “I want to become a god.” ‘Cause Lewis wasn’t able to grasp that “spirit” = soul/mind/essence of a person that encompasses emotion, knowledge, and willpower, and “incomplete” = constraining and limiting humanity’s full potential rather than fulfilling and advancing it. Basically, the problem is that Lewis was hearing Cyrus without actually listening, or in this case, reading without actually comprehending and making an effort to understand.

And as funny as his reaction to randomly encountering “the Team Galactic asshole” was, and as agreeable as what he said about Black & White having a stronger story than D/P/PL was, there were three fallacies I found in the stuff Lewis said:during his “I hate Cyrus” ramble.

1. Talking as though Team Galactic being stupid was a mark specifically against them. Even when, as I’ve pointed out before, nearly all grunts in all evil teams are idiots in some way. Galactic and Skull are probably just the most notably stupid because those teams have the youngest grunts compared to the others. And in terms of their plans and actions being stupid, Galactic is nowhere near as horribly idiotic as Teams “destroy the environment in order to protect the environment” Aqua and Magma, Team “kill everyone with a horribly ill-defined bogus weapon so we can own the world as it’s ruling elites ‘cause we’re smarter, wealthier, and more fashionable than anyone else!” Flare, or even Team “Come back to us, Giovanni! We’re totally lost without you!” Neo Rocket. Galactic at least make some degree of sense!

2. He sang the praises of Team Plasma without even mentioning the team’s actual boss, Ghetsis, and let’s be real, Ghetsis has less valid motivation for aiming to achieve what he wanted to achieve. Is “I can recognize the limitless potential in Pokémon’s uses, so therefore it stands to reason that only I should be able to use Pokémon to RULE ZEH WORUDO!” really that much more motivation than “I hate this vague and incomplete thing called spirit!”? I’d say the one thing it has going over Cyrus’ thing is that it’s easier to grasp in a Pokémon- based context as opposed to being based so deep in abstract philosophy and theology.

3. The character he did mention, N, while undeniably sympathetic, was really just as wordy with repetitious and sometimes nigh-nonsensical dialogue as Cyrus was. Aside from using math equation allegories, he says stuff like “As long as Pokémon are confined in Poké Balls, Pokémon will never become perfect beings!” (he says this “perfect being” things again later on!) and “What I desire is a world for Pokémon, and Pokémon alone. I will separate Pokémon from people, so Pokémon can regain their original power!” that come off as being “DEFINE YOUR GODDAMN TERMS”-worthy as well (Like, how are Pokémon as an entire worldwide race not “perfect beings” just because a handful of them get caught in Poké Balls? If you want to make a world “for Pokémon alone”, how can that co-exist with a separate world for humans unless you literally commit total human genocide? What are Pokémon’s “original power”, how do you know about it, and how will segregating Pokémon from people allow them to magically regain it?) Truthfully, I can understand the basic gist of what N is saying, but not everyone will, and the same is true of Cyrus, so him going on and on about spirit and “incompleteness” really isn’t much a writing issue so much as it is a translation issue. 

Oh, and fun fact about that Omicron fan-game Lewis was playing there? Cyrus AND N later show up to tag team against the player. They also help the player too, since neither of them are true antagonists in this game. Which is a good thing, ‘cause I love both characters.

#Pokemon #Diamond and Pearl #Platinum #Team Galactic #Cyrus #linkara #lewis lovhaug #opinion #criticism #hatedumb #misaimed fandom #completely missing the point #double standards #hypocrisy #I disagree #shut up

[meistoshia]

ok so. kalos was bad for satoshi’s mental shit. a,, ramble that i’ve divided into bullet points except they’re meant to be read more like the reader’s one of the poor souls that has me added on discord & foolishly gave me the green light to go off about kalos except i can link to stuff in the text & also i care about formatting sdkfjghsd

i can’t talk about kalos without mentioning unova as that was the setup for kalos, both series - wise & mental - state - going - into - kalos wise.

unova was fine, but iris’ continuous calling satoshi a child for the smallest of things, like being so excited for a battle that he can’t stand still or not understanding or knowing about something that’s common knowledge for most people, was, uh, bad.     real bad.

Iris Stans Pls Don't Come For Me i get that her “such a child” thing was just.     Her Thing.     but it was her thing at satoshi specifically 56 times.     i’ve counted.     it was an upsetting process :pensive:

it did not mix well with satoshi’s rsd & it very much influenced how satoshi chose to act in front of others  ;     as i’ve said before, he is very much conscious of what he does, he makes a deliberate effort in almost everything, even the way he thinks about things, & he very much tweaks these things depending on what kind of feedback they’ve generated.

there’s also the fact that satoshi very much wants other people to treat him like an adult, to see him as an adult  ;     i have a more in-depth post about this here.

hence satoshi is comparatively so much more reserved in kalos than in unova & tries tackling things on his own.

so.     satoshi in kalos.

the first two people who meet him admire him right off the bat, eureka just being an easily impressed kid who thinks he’s cool, citron coming to look up to him within a day of knowing him because of satoshi’s determination & reckless bravery, both joining satoshi for his journey.     serena joins the squad soon after, still admiring satoshi from back in the day at the pokecamp, seeing him again for the first time in years via a news channel broadcasting the gablias incident in miare, so she's already got a set image of him in her mind by the time she catches up to him in hakudan city.

i've said it before, but it bears repeating, kalos was the first region where everyone traveling with satoshi admired him from the get - go, which like, doesn't sound that bad, sounds like a good thing, even, until you realize that means that there was no one arguing with him, no one challenging him, there wasn't anyone to knock him down a peg every now & then.

even in the rivalry department, because satoshi was so experienced & such a good trainer, tierno & trova weren't like. actually rivals, not to mention they didn't show up nearly as often in competitive contexts as other regions' rivals.     so the only “real rivals” satoshi got were shoota & alan, & ok, first off, shoota only got good enough to be a Rival(tm) well into xy/z, like 6 episodes before the league started, which is basically the end of the series, & alan only challenged satoshi twice (2) before the league.

second, both of them held satoshi in nothing but high regard, particularly shoota who'd made satoshi his goal, wanting to beat him & surpass him in part to gain acknowledgment From Satoshi, with alan just being intrigued by satoshi & gekkouga’s bond phenomenon & him wanting to battle satoshi more.

satoshi didn't have rivals in kalos like he had in other regions.     he didn't butt heads with anyone.     he was at the top of his game & it showed, losing like a handful of times in the entire series, two of those losses coming from just passing out from the strain of the bond phenomenon.

& because he was at the top of his game & it showed, he kinda played himself & made everyone have high expectations for his battles, especially serena & citron, who kept cheering him on in ways that sometimes made me just think “wow but no pressure huh”   ( im looking at all the “make sure to win”s & “you'll win, i'm sure of it”s ) .     that combined with gojika's prediction of satoshi & his gekkouga reaching a greatness never seen before   ...   yeah, no pressure at all.

& so you get an environment where satoshi can say shit like “i’m sorry i was unable to meet your expectations” after a loss In The Kalos League Finals   ( the fact that my canon divergence retcons the scenario in which he can say that is irrelevant for this yeet ) , where failing other people’s expectations is a genuine concern for him, when we know full well other people's expectations had never bothered him before.

aside from the obvious outliers of the rocket gang & flare gang, unless i’m forgetting something, everyone in kalos had a positive attitude towards satoshi from the moment they met him, with a good chunk of them coming to admire satoshi, be it as a trainer or a person or both.

& the thing is that the moment satoshi wasn’t acting like his “usual self”, people noticed & thought it was odd, & serena vocalized her disappointment after the eisetsu gym loss, even if she did apologize later, she confirmed satoshi’s fear of “if i fail to do this or be this according to how other people view me, they will be disappointed & i will have failed them”.

& then there’s kanto 2.0, with satoshi traveling on his own, distancing himself from the pressure of expectation in an attempt to heal from the mental strain kalos caused him, even if he’s not exactly aware that’s what he’s doing.     & because he’s not aware that’s what he’s trying to do, he doesn’t go about it in the best way, which is to say he goes about it like does with many of the problems he can’t literally tackle   ---   he travels alone, not accepting travel partners, only every now & then tagging along with people with the same destination in mind.     shocker, that doesn’t actually help his mental state, in fact, it almost worsens because of it.

but then alola pops into the picture, absolutely no one knows who satoshi is, competitive battling isn’t as big of a Thing(tm) on the islands, everyone lives together with pokemon, satoshi never even has to mention pikachu not liking being in its monster ball because it’s just so expected for a pokemon to constantly be walking around with its trainer, there’s just positive energy all around, satoshi can relax & unwind & finally let loose that childish side that he’s been keeping in check since unova, & he gets to be around people without thinking about expectations.

this got kinda. derailed a lil but.     my point is that kalos was bad for satoshi, kanto 2.0 almost made it worse, & alola was a well - deserved vacation.

can you tell i exhausted myself writing this skdjfhgsdf

#under a cut bc otherwise thisd just be. a lot. #i mean it is a lot already but like #im not here to clog yalls dashes even if most of yallre asleep as im writing this #* !! pkmn is autistic culture. #this is messy but #* !! study. #nonetheless