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ylizam · 4 years

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[picard through 1.6: my disjointed feelings vs. my disjointed thoughts]

I guess the tl;dr is that I love (most of) the characters, and I do not trust the writing? which, fine, par for the course, especially as a Voyager person, but still. I’m enjoying it! I don’t think it’s actually good! I keep having feelings! I am really confused about what they’re doing in re Picard the Character! anyway!

the positive (give or take):

LARIS <3 <3 <3 my Picard’s my Romulan wife! traumatized and her whole world is gone and ex-Tal Shiar (!) and Irish and sweater-wearing and honestly Star Trek: Laris is the show I want in the world.

I’m this.close to changing my user icon thingy to Laris. I mean I love Caroline and her wine but what if. (the main reason I haven’t yet is because what if they kill her off for more Picard manpain and I’m too angry about it, etc. like I said: I do not trust the writing/writers/whatever, especially with Duff on the staff.)

honestly, there are so many stories one could tell about Laris and Zhaban and home and rebuilding and loss and spies and family and you know what, I don’t trust the writers at this point, so maybe I’m the tiniest bit relieved they’re not telling it (but, oh, for writers who COULD)

Romulan secret names? sure, I can accept that. plenty of cultures have family versus public names, etc. Romulan secret names they only tell their lovers? eh, no, that’s a myth they sent out to the universe for a laugh / to see who believes it / because they could.

Romulan Warrior Nuns. the entire concept. all of them. absolute candor. swords. give me more.

give me Laris formerly of the Tal Zhiar and members of the Qowat Milat having an awkward meal together I am just saying.

relatedly, Elnor needs a cat.

Seven. Of. Nine. with pockets.

continuing trauma because of course! (and look I love Janeway but I do cringe at the way “humanity” was thrust upon Seven in a very limited and forced way and that can’t have been great for her longterm and give me more Seven learning that she is “human” enough there’s no one definition but also she’s fucked up and that’s okay too except where it’s self-destructive and not okay and)

although seriously they tiptoed riiiiiight up to the line of confirmed queerness and then swayed a bit and hope that was enough and it’s not? (I wonder if they were so paranoid about Kill Your Gays-itis and what it would mean for Seven to kill an ex that they didn’t want to skirt that fallout, but come on.) (I also wonder if, when Seven comes back, they actually go there or if this is as far as it will go.)

Raffi. Michelle Hurd as Raffi. Raffi.

Raffi deserves better. Better writing, better writing, better writing.

so that was her ex-girlfriend Picard bribed her with wine to contact, right?

Hugh. That hug. Hugh.

the negative (give or take):

the casual racism problem.

stop killing characters of color! if you colorblind cast and then only/largely people of color die that’s not good! not to mention Indiana Picard (see next point) and the Romulans of color all swarming around him and yeah. stop it.

don’t dress Picard up like a colonialist unless you actually mean it—like, if you want to get into the issues with the Federation and colonialism rah rah flags and all that, do it, but I just feel like they’re not actually going there (too much emphasis on conspiracies and people infiltrating the Federation rather than, oh, maybe the Federation itself is an issue?).

this is where my trust of the writing really comes into play because I just don’t know that they know what they’re doing.

the writing can be pretty clunky. why did they make someone with basically no tv experience the showrunner again? (it turns out that maybe television and novels are different media! with different rules and etceteras!)

no really why is this show being made in 2020 so straight (and so 1990s coy about any hints of queerness)

I don’t care about Narek. At all. He bores me.

this is obviously a personal thing, as I’ve definitely seen people out there who enjoy him. but yeah. he does nothing for me personally.

and his sister is just. cartoon villainry.

if you’re going to keep intercutting to scenes with the bad guy and his sister sexually choking him and all either actually explain the reason they’re doing all the bad stuff and actual justifications, etc. (we don’t need it to be a surprise to be interesting, yo! why do you care about the android homeworld or whatever it is you’re searching for? have you shared your secret lover names with each other yet or naw?) or just don’t. the baddies should be their own heroes!

I would definitely prefer the story about how the Federation and Starfleet aren’t what their PR says they are and digging into how flawed they are and colonialism and all that to the one about the conspiracy and infiltrations into the Federation and Starfleet that sort of just skim over the parts where whatever the conspiracy managed to do depended on the flaws in the Federation and Starfleet.

look, maybe we’ll get it? but, again, trust issues with the writing.

I really, really, really wish they hadn’t gone the addict route with Raffi

it feels a little lazy? very plug-and-play characterization? idk! I think she’d be more interesting without it!

(also to be fair I have my own issues with addiction stuff in general so even if I trusted it to be done well and all that it still wouldn’t be my favorite.)

is there any trauma care in the future utopia times (the Borg Reclamation Project seems to suggest that there may be at least, on some level, an attempt at it)? has Picard received any mental health care at all post-living-on-a-ship with Troi who sometimes tried but also maybe was too much of a friend to be an effective therapist for him no really what is the status of mental healthcare in the future utopia times I want to know.

(I mean the PTSD stuff makes sense, I’m not denying that and that’s not the stuff I find myself disliking in the character. but it does lead me to wonder about the state of mental healthcare and the like, not because I think he should be “cured” or anything like that, but because I wonder.)

Is Picard meant to be an asshole I no longer like?

is the bit with the doctor who is not Beverly telling him about his brain whatever issue meant to be a hint that he’s going senile or something? is that why the worst parts of his nature keep being thrust front and center?

do the writers know how unlikeable he can be in this? is that the point? is there a point to it? do they have any idea at all what they’re doing? (giving alcohol to the addict so she’ll do what you want, Picard? really?)

in conclusion: I just don’t know what they’re trying to do in re Picard the Character on Picard the Series and I worry that the people in charge don’t know either. (also, I want to continue liking Picard the Character so.)

anyway I left out a bunch here (I largely like the crew of the La Sirena but also don’t have anything I really want to say about them) (my eh-reaction to Narek has affected how much I really care about that storyline, but I do in fact like Soji and hope for more interesting stuff for her because I was really bored with her adventures in sleeping with a bad guy) (anyway this is already very long, but yeah, hopefully the rest of the season will return some level in faith in the writings having a Plan but I’m not super confident in that oh well).

#very rambling very not real meta #i kept adding to this and updating the episode number #and now i think i have to release it or delete and what the heck #i apologize if some of it doesn't make sense #(maybe i'll delete it later)#(i am excited about the trois though #if not worried that part of picard's hermit act included not seeing them in 14 years)#(anyway i'm not saying i ship seven and raffi but i'm not not saying it either)#star trek: picard #jean-luc picard #seven of nine #raffi musiker #laris #zhaban #hugh #qowat milat #long post #i used a cut but those don't always work so

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neko-shinigxmi · 5 years

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.: Drama Involving AJ :.

Stylized ‘til I die, I guess. Anyways.

This is talking about phasefuck/huckerbee/teafrogs/whatever their URL is this week. AJ/Lee. The compilation of what’s happened involving them.

So... Starting at the beginning.

D was the reason I got into Borderlands. I watched her play TFTBL and gush about Rhys and get more involved and understand the ship she had! Also got my first crush on Zer0, but... Y’know.

So I did some art, started plotting ideas for who’d eventually be Gremlin- aka Rena Marlow, my SI for BLands- and that led...to us meeting AJ. They wanted me or D to join their server. D preferred because of her self-ship with Rhys, but I could join, too. D was nervous about new, strange people and I wanted to learn more about Borderlands and try new things, so... I hopped in, D stayed behind.

The time with them was pretty fun! Ended up making some friends, plotted fun ideas for AJ’s idea of the time, Borderlands Infinite. A continuation of Tales as AJ saw it. The server was made PRIMARILY for this endeavor and everyone in it was allowed an OC or self-insert to be paired with whoever they wanted to be with....long as they were open, that is. AJ had HJack, and everyone else... Well, most of the spares had been paired off by the time I joined.

Rhys was potentially still open, cause someone AJ had previously been talking with...either wasn’t responding, or had dropped out entirely. I forget by this point. Zer0 wasn’t an option and I didn’t know much of the others, so.... I accepted Gremlin to be paired with Rhys.

Thus the origins of my verse with Rhys. (As well as the OT3 with him and Vaughn... They started here.)

Tension was pretty high in the group and- though I didn’t acknowledge it at the time- it was primarily from AJ. Nobody else could like Handsome Jack “too much”... You could be playful about him, a little joke-flirty...but if you were suspected to like HJack, then you were “stealing” him from them. Because of this- while the group was friendly enough- it was hard to get into the “share faves” vibe that a lot of us seemed to have; gushing about a character that wasn’t your own just......felt weird.

Not sure if anyone else noticed, but that was my experience.

Anyways, I helped AJ with their story a lot due to being online a ton, with no work to do. We talked on the daily about what Rena could do, what Helios was like, how the story would go... The long-term slowburn we were putting Rena and Rhys through. I praised their art and ideas, they cheered for Rena/Rhys. It was pretty mutually supportive....

...Until AJ kicked fits. I was always online, so what about everyone else?? When I wasn’t online- sometimes if I was- I’d get put on a pedestal for helping out while others said nothing. (Essentially saying something like “Aki helps out all the time, but nobody else does” or, the popular one, “maybe I should just delete this since nobody cares.” I don’t have screenshots of this for reasons that’ll be explained in a moment.)

We typically talked them out of these, but eventually... It did happen. AJ messaged me that the old group had been deleted and there was now a new group of only the ACTIVE people. This left me and a few others, thought some other people would eventually cycle in. (One of which still being someone I look up to even today!! Even if we don’t talk much, lol.)

I got more creative freedom during this time, since other people “lost out” in their spots and... Somehow, this led to me taking on Nisha, too. I paired her with my OCs, Pyrotech and Meowzer. (Ex-Creepypasta OCs revamped for BLands. Is this my origins for my Nisha ship? Kinda!!!)

But by this point... I had grown to *really* like HJack. I’d made a slip before (more on that later), but learned his character very well and even played him for roleplays AJ and I were doing. AJ played themself and Rhys; I controlled Jack and Rena. All that research led to feelings....and ones I knew AJ wouldn’t approve of. So I did two things, right off the bat: kept my head down and immediately worked on justifying why I liked him. See, it’s because...it’s not the “canon” Handsome Jack!! The one I ship with has golden clasps! So they’re not the same!! And uhhhh....more bad things happened to him? He dresses more lavishly...?

I kept trying to come up with ways AJ might approve of my AU Jack without invoking their wrath. Not that...it would end up doing much, in the long run.

I invited one of my friends to join during this. One who also liked HJack...and proved my worries right. (Checked my Discord; I still have some of the messages!!! Whoop, here we go...)

Don’t have screencaps of the drama that proceeded to unfold- especially due to AJ blocking me on Discord and so losing all of our conversation- but.... That’s just how THAT is, I guess.

They did get super cold after and I had to explain things to my friend, while also assuring AJ that I would handle things and it’d be alright. It was an uncomfortable hiccup, but one that went by easily enough...

Though as I said, it was a significant event to show me how careful I needed to be when it came to HJack and AJ.

Also during this time... Another friend I’ll just refer to as P. We’d also been roleplaying in this time and having a blast. Absolute joy and- we don’t talk much anymore- but I do still consider them a dear friend. I played as CEO Rhys for them and they were Handsome Jack for me; we played our characters (my SI, their OC) and just... Had so much fun with it all.

So then... Amidst all the fun, it eventually happened.

What I described in this callout post.

AJ and I...we ended up dating at some point. I thought they were cool, we got along well, talked a LOT and all this... So I didn’t see a problem with it. Why not? I’ll get to have an awesome artist S/O with their cool ship and all their ideas... We’re gonna be unstoppable!

...But I also had abandonment issues. Too many times did I pour my all into someone, only to be left empty. I’ve always been the most supportive person in a room, trying to uplift EVERYONE to feel good! Cause yeah, everyone deserves that! AJ knew this. We’d talked about our issues and vented.....

And they still did that. They left my server as I slept. Blocked me on Discord, though I didn’t notice it at first.

...It was the one day I checked Tumblr first. They left their blog for a new one. Okay!! I’ll follow them on there, then! I did, and checked Discord. That was in the vent channel, and this was sent to me by a mutual friend.

So that’s how I woke up that day. Suddenly alone and single. And very, very depressed. I would end up posting these as my friends had to help me down:

“ ……now I wish I would’ve gotten lost after all or kept sleeping ….nothing is work being awake right now”

“ I just don’t want to exist I hate myself all over again I can’t get past that”

“ AJ just…..dropped me. Just like that. I didn’t know and tried to follow her new blog….. Either they just soft-blocked me or outright blocked me

“I feel so fuckin’ horrible”

At the time, I was horribly depressed due to outside causes. I was suicidal at the time and getting into some light, risky behavior in hopes it could be a factor in the end of my life. (I would walk around at night, hoping that the growing heat would either cause heat exhaustion or someone would attack me. Abduct me. Whatever meant that I would be gone and in pain.)

I later learned that this is actually learned behavior; my dad would react in extremist ways to things (something broke? “I want to kill myself.”) and so I probably learned it from him. This has actually made managing my suicidal thoughts easier, but at the time, I did not know this and put me more at risk.

Though this then kept continuing.... Because of course these things do.

It starts all over with me trying to move on. Someone was advertising their self-ship server, I wanted to try again and make friends... So I gave it a shot and joined!

....AJ was in there.

I quickly left as soon as I had entered, telling the owner I couldn’t stay due to troubles with someone else in there. They were understanding and, thankfully, that was that.

...But it STILL wasn’t. These are older messages, so I can’t get them together as much as I’d like to (in one screenshot, is what I’m saying) so I’ll also quote these, but if anyone needs screenshot proof, I can get that on request.

Anyways, our mutual friend (I’ll nickname her MF for “mutual friend” lol) later piped up with this:

05/19/2018 “So, aj invited me to a group chat and I'm a pushover who hasn't been able to cut them off yet so I said yes and boi I'm big uncomfortable now Like I thought I could maybe juggle being friends with both aj and Rachel even after what aj did but I was wrong.

“But idk what do now. I don't know what to say to them because I don't want to just drop them without saying anything. No doubt that'll get them talking about me behind my back”

.:.

“I might try that. I might mute the server so that I don't have to deal with that because i can't stay in it but I don't want to start shit by leaving I mean they are acting like Rachel is in the wrong”

.:.

“That they "stole their f/o" and that they are going to take the dragon idea that Rachel had for blands and "make it better" out of spite And I'm not happy”

.:.

“Well I just typed up a long message and while I'm glad I'll finally cut out a toxic person I'm also super nervous

“I sent it and left the server

“Wow okay all I got was a "Bye then" I sent a long ass message. Explaining my side and why. Hoping they'd understand and they just said bye then??????”

As you can see.... Everyone who’d been in that server (me, P, and MF) were on-edge about the “talking behind our back” issue that MF confirmed above. I figured it would happen, but it did...and that was a league all it’s own. (Especially when the callout post went around, and it got confirmed AGAIN that slander in my name was still going around.)

But one more thing happened that triggered this onslaught... Remember my RP w/ P? Well, this happened.... [TW for daddy kink mention? Calling themself Daddy?? That thing.]

Link to Ask.

Was never reblogged. Sent to me by a friend. To my knowledge, nobody spread this around AT ALL. But this was brought up in the same vent/time period as the above conversation.....

MF: Aj said that Rachel stole hj from them.

Me: Me, apparently. It's somewhere between that post and the ask (I think?) P sent me..... Which I loved and was hella surprised over, but. Oh boy.

Fren (aka owner of Karma): My god wtf can she like calm tf down

MF: They actually were mad that people were reblogging a post of yours, probably the kitten thing, that was about hj because it's "gross"

Fren: geeze Aj grow up

Me: ??????? Nobody reblogged it, tho

MF: Hmmmmm they vagued about someone shipping with him, someone they had blocked, that liked the daddy kink and stuff

I mean. I get it’s a gross thing for people, but.... HJack has also called himself “daddy/papa” on more than one occasion. It’s up for debate if he does it because he is Literal Dad or because he’s that nasty, but... Considering everything else he does, the latter seems the most obvious. That’s just how he is.

Anyways. The point being that we had each other mutually blocked by this point. I had people either block me, soft-block me, OR just outright unfollow + soft-block me because they were more trusting of AJ than of me. So to hear that they somehow knew P was sending me that ask...... Either someone TOLD them or they were stalking my blog to see what I was doing while they were gone.

Either way, not great. (What was pretty funny is I later made a joke about “stealing the rights to Handsome Jack from 2k so nobody else can do anything with him” and that “I’m a wanted man”... That’s nice.)

And so... We get to more recently.

Last I personally heard, I had to do some personal checking that led up to this... Saw leeships in self insert tag. New self-ship blog, so I blocked, as well as checking their blocked main to make sure everything lined up....and was greeted with this.

They’ve since changed their URL- again- but the fact they’re STILL being petty towards D is just....something else.

Speaking of, I’m not actually...sure where that started. There was a whole conversation we had over how AJ treated D out of sight of others (they talked over IMs, I guess because we were budding friends at the time, and what else do I do but hype up all my friends?) There was a lot of attention-seeking behavior from AJ (showing their art and then getting mad when D or Fren tried to compliment them for “lying” about the compliment...?), but far as I knew/remember, there wasn’t any bigger issue.

...After we broke up, however, an issue began as D and I became better friends. Friends stick with friends, D knew AJ, so when the blocking-bug was going around, D blocked them, too.

Which eventually snowballed into the bullshit you can still see today. With AJ trying to claim that D is the one dealing out harassment when- at worst- maybe D did talk too much and AJ didn’t deal with it in a healthy way. (Because that is an issue I’ve heard of; except AJ freaked out over it, instead of talking it out like a healthy adult and figuring out how they could balance out the conversation. Seriously. I’ve had this talk with D. We don’t dominate our conversations at all; nobody over the other. If there ever was a problem, then literally just saying “Hey, I don’t feel heard/listened to when I talk about my ship” was all AJ ever needed to say, but....... Y’KNOW.)

I’m not D, so I can’t say the full scenario of that, but this is the best way I can show there was a middle ground AJ could’ve used to work things out, but they didn’t.

Oh, and just so I’m not saying things if you haven’t already seen this... Here’s a screenshot someone (for privacy’s sake) got of AJ trying to pin the blame on D for being the “real harasser” in their BYF:

We all just wanted to get over this. However, D and I especially don’t want to get involved with or be AROUND AJ/Lee in any way. So we keep an eye on what they do so we can feel safe. We DON’T want to forgive AJ/Lee (for obvious reasons), so we keep blocking their accounts and/or make sure they’re still on our blocklist.

I know I’ve resorted to putting their URLs on BLACKLIST to make sure I don’t see them at ALL because of how much stress they put me under just seeing them around.

What the hell do THEY have to be stressed about? Dealing with people they hurt for BEING hurt and not wanting them around us anymore?? Fuck....

.:.

Anyways. I guess that about concludes all I wanted to write about. Friendly reminder that their old callout post is here and while I doubt a new one will crop up any time soon (as I sure don’t want to write one that’ll get around, after the last time I had a friend try to help me do a callout post on someone like this), you can at least look up that one more time after reading this.

So...... That’s the end. Thanks for reading this and I’m sorry if anything was upsetting.

...If you want, you can come to the ask box and ask for a gif of your F/O? Or a cute puppy or kitten? Maybe I can find some nice fanart for you as comfort...? IDK, options.

#Aki speaks #It's the Discourse

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amorremanet · 7 years

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Star Wars, the trilogy of ur choice for the ask meme!

I am indecisive as Hell and couldn’t pick and as such just did all three of them, ooops?

original trilogy

my all-time ultimate fave character: um. I have loved Darth Vader since I was five and decided that he was my husband now and this meant that he was going to hold my stuff while I ran the galaxy and also buy me a puppy, because my parents wouldn’t let me have one but he’s the head of an evil empire, so I assumed that he had enough credits to buy me a puppy. Anyway, my answer hasn’t changed. He’s garbage and I love him.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Lando is a sort of complicated answer, because it was never that I disliked him?

But when I was younger, I bought into all of the nonsense about him, “betraying” Han, Leia, and Chewie (which is ridiculous, because: 1. he was trying to save his entire city,

and 2. Vader turned the tables on Lando and sprung a bunch of shit on him that Lando cannot be held responsible for, because Vader is the one who made it an issue and it’s not like Lando didn’t read the fine print because there was no fine print for him to read)

—and yeah, basically, I never disliked him, but have come to appreciate Lando more.

a character I used to like but now don’t: …well, it isn’t that I dislike Yoda or Obi-Wan (though the latter benefits from the prequel trilogy a lot here, since Ewan McGregor kinda saved the character from the gigantic dumpster fire of GLucas’s bullshit retcons and Alec Guinness being a huge tool), but when I was a kid, I took everything they said at face-value and have since learned that both of them are totally bullshit unreliable narrators, at best.

a character I’m indifferent about: idk, the Emperor, probably. Like, my biggest feelings about him in the OT are, “Excuse me, you’re in my seat. Trophy husband, please be a hunny and murder him for me so I can get back to my ridiculous power-fantasy daydream of being an overpowered evil overlord with no chill and an OTT evil laugh like a bad girl in a late 90’s anime.”

a character who deserved better: Lando Calrissian, full stop.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: uh. ……pass?

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Han/Leia remains one of the only m/f ships worth caring about, for me, but ijs, Han/Luke is good, too.

a cute, low-key ship: Luke/Wedge, Luke/Lando, or Luke/Biggs.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: Han/Lando (it’s not unpopular in my particular corner of tumblr but for most people out there, it’s Not A Thing that they can see happening). ……but come on, they act like exes! If they aren’t secretly married (probably under questionable circumstances, for pretty ridiculous reasons) in at least two star systems, I’ll shave Jean-Ralphio’s head.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: —technically, my answer never did. But when ROTS came out back in 2005, there was a commemorative issue of Rolling Stone that I stole from my Dad because it had a special feature about Darth Vader, and in it, Kevin Smith proposed the idea of Vader/Leia (which he apparently kiddie LARPed with a girl he liked before they knew that Vader is her bio-father), and…… ew, Kevin Smith, what the fuck. Like, even without the parental incest factor, ewww.

my favourite storyline/moment: if it happened in Empire, I will probably never be over it because I am a human cliche and Empire is my favorite (but in my defense: it was not written by George Lucas, and that has a lot to do with why it is noticeably better-written than the other two OT movies). If I had to choose? “I love you” / “I know,” or the final confrontation between Luke and Vader.

Because I am a human cliche, that’s why. …Also, fun fact: when they originally shot the Infamous Scene, the big reveal about Luke’s parentage was kept so under-wraps that even David Prowse (the guy who physically portrayed Vader) thought that the twist was that Obi-Wan killed Anakin.

a storyline that never should have been written: Okay, it isn’t that I object to how the parentage twist meant that GLucas had baited sibling incest with Luke/Leia. What I object to is that GLucas acts like this was intentional, and wants to erase and retcon real-world history (there’s a whole book about it, documenting what actually happened and how GLucas tried to retcon reality), all to make himself look like a genius Auteur™ when, actually he is a fucking hack who stole the credit for the movies’ success from the actual creative people involved.

my first thoughts on it: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i want a lightsaber, i want to rule the galaxy, pew pew”

my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i shouldn’t be allowed to have a lightsaber at all bc i would totally mishandle it, fuck george lucas with barbed wire, pew pew”

prequel trilogy

my all-time ultimate fave character: *points above* …like, I have never had it in me to hate the prequel trilogy — the closest that I got to it was, “Okay, it’s not the OT, and it’s kind of silly, but it’s not bad” — and I could never hate it because it’s primarily about Anakin Skywalker, and that’s my trophy husband. He’s space trash and I love him.

I also never hated Hayden Christensen. Like, most of my friends in high school did, but I loved him, and I said things like, “Maybe he’s not the greatest actor but he’s not exactly working with a great script here” but that was the worst he ever got from me (and if I’d known then just how shitty a director GLucas actually is to the actors in his flicks, I would’ve been even more generous).

He was definitely one of the guys who I “had crushes” on, back when I was still trying to convince myself that I wasn’t into girls at all, and all of the lingering fondness for him was a huge part of my, “okay, but were any of my crushes on dudes legit or was there a lot of compulsory heterosexuality that I didn’t get because I was a teenager with homophobic parents who went to a high school where we couldn’t even talk about the homophobia that went on because everybody wanted to think that we didn’t have a problem with it just because nobody got, like, physically assaulted or anything that we assumed happened at other high schools in the area, regardless of how we had almost no evidence one way or the other”

……In retrospect, a lot of the, “crush” that I had on Hayden was that he was a soft-featured pretty boy who was, “like… almost pretty enough to be a girl” (—all I have to say for myself is that I was an ignorant teenager), and I found him attractive because he was: 1. soft and pretty; 2. playing my favorite space trashcan; and 3. hella famous and therefore unavailable

anyway, I love Anakin and…… well.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: …uh. I have no idea?? The closest I get here is that I went from not caring about Palpatine in the OT to thinking he’s actually an interesting and well-done villain in the PT.

a character I used to like but now don’t: can I pass on this one, too? I don’t have a lot of characters like this in any of the Star Wars movies tbh???

a character I’m indifferent about: Count Dooku (the late Christopher Lee was always amazing but Count Dooku just… really doesn’t interest me as a character), and General Grievous.

a character who deserved better: Padmé Amidala, Mace Windu, and I want to say Anakin, but not in the same way as Mace and Pamdé (who got the shit kicked out of them unfairly and got robbed of some of the moments that they deserved).

Where Anakin deserved better is in how the narrative handled his fall and the issues of agency, responsibility, how he was manipulated and how it affected his ability to be held responsible vs. all of the ways in which he was responsible for his actions and where, how spending his formative years as a slave affected everything, the ways in which the fucking Jedi Order was also culpable for some of this and how their approach to literally everything is emotionally unhealthy, and so on.

Because GLucas handled all of those issues with the grace and tact of a drunk rhinoceros. Which I feel is an incredible insult to both alcohol and rhinoceroses.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: any Qui-Gon ship that isn’t Mace/Qui-Gon, and I will fully admit that that is just my headcanon and my feels of, “Oooh, that could be cool.”

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Padmé because I am a human cliché.

a cute, low-key ship: Obi-Wan/Dexx (or however you spell the name of his smuggler friend from AOTC).

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: well, these days, Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Padmé are apparently on the Shipae Non Gratae list in this fandom, to the point that people who ship them will get harassed, dehumanized, bullied, and suicide-baited for shipping them, all because a small but vocal contingent of assholes don’t like them and want to enforce their own ideas about the morality or lack thereof of whatever ships they like or not on everyone — but they weren’t unpopular until very recently, so

otherwise, basically all Mace Windu ships are unpopular by default but come on, Mace/Qui-Gon and Mace/Obi-Wan would be cool

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: uh. Padmé/death, Mace/death, and Star Wars Fandom/suicide baiting people over ships when they’re doing everything that they can reasonably be expected to do in terms of tagging responsibly and respecting their fellow fans.

my favourite storyline/moment: I’m sorry but actually not, but… I love ROTS, and I love the game of torturing myself by watching it like, “Maybe Anakin won’t make all the wrong choices this time. Maybe if I lovingly yell at him loudly enough, he won’t break my heart.”

Also, fuck everyone, his, “I don’t like sand” thing is endearingly doofy, and I can’t flirt any better than that so it is not unrealistic (not least since he hasn’t exactly grown up or come of age in an environment that’s conducive to developing decent social skills or learning the social scripts that one uses when doing things like flirting without saying, “I don’t like sand, but you are very not like sand, and I appreciate that you are dissimilar from sand because sand sucks”)

—I mean, I’m not saying that Luke Skywalker: actual gay space autistic has a father who is also an actual space autistic? ……But, see, I’m totally saying that, and that I also believe the borderline!Anakin headcanon that I’ve seen around

a storyline that never should have been written: idk, I just want my space babies to be happy

my first thoughts on it: “…pew pew pew, i know it’s not the OT but it’s still fun can everybody like stop hating on it, wouldn’t it be more fun to LIKE things, i love star wars, pew pew”

my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, fuck everybody, the entire prequel trilogy deserves better than it got and fuck george lucas especially, but also fuck the jedi order what the fuck, that life isn’t healthy, fuck the haters i love the prequels, i love star wars, pew pew”

new trilogy, inasmuch as i can say with only one movie (since rogue one isn’t in the trilogy and i still haven’t seen it):

my all-time ultimate fave character: Finn or Poe or Rey, it depends on how I feel at any given moment

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: *shrugs*

a character I used to like but now don’t: Well, it’s not that I outright dislike KyBen, but I was so excited for him when the first trailer came out, with his lightsaber that looked so cool, and him being all, “*aggressively fanboys Darth Vader*” — and then we got the actual canon, and like? It’s impossible for me to completely hate him when he’s so fun to make fun of, and he loves his grandfather almost half as much as I do? But…… wow, have you ever met someone who is like a letdown in human form? Because I have and his name is Kylo Ren.

I will say, he is moderately less of a letdown in the novelization of the movie (though I haven’t gotten a copy of the YA novelization and there are apparently some major differences between that one and the “adult” novelization), but: 1. only moderately; and 2. he is even more over-the-top ridiculous and dramatic and kind of asinine in the book. Less of a letdown for various reasons, but still.

a character I’m indifferent about: Phasma, I guess. Like, I am certified lady villains garbage, but she doesn’t really DO anything? She has no discernible personality beyond being the token girl with KyBen and the Annoying Fascist Space Ginger, which could actually be a cool thing — I mean, Gwen Christie is a tall, white, blonde, and physically intimidating as fuck, and it would be super interesting to use Phasma as a Star Wars style reflection of the white women who get involved in the real world movements that inspired the First Order — but?? So far, all she’s done is be an abusive shit to Finn and get shoved in a trash compactor.

a character who deserved better: #Protect Finn Stormbreaker At All Costs.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Phasma/anybody — like, I know it’s usually misogynistic to say, “she has no personality” about a lady character…… but Phasma genuinely has no personality, so far, because she has done a grand total of bugger all in actual facts canon.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: …I feel like it’s too early to say this because this trilogy isn’t even fully out there, yet? But solely in the sense of, “this is my favorite”… Finn/Poe/Rey, because it means that I don’t have to choose between Finn/Poe or Finn/Rey when both of them are so good.

a cute, low-key ship: I am literally only putting Rey/Rose and Rey/Jessika here because we know nothing about Rose yet, aside from how she works in maintenance with the Resistance and is adorable, and I love Rey/Jess, but it’s objective fact that Finn/Rey has more to work with, because Finn is a major character and Jess isn’t.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: eta: okay, I forgot to do this one, because all I could think of was, “idk I’ve read some Ky*lux fic that didn’t suck because I wanted one of my kinks satisfied and I wanted Star Wars and the only game in town was Ky*lux so I read it, and… eh, it didn’t suck?” — but Ky*lux is objectively not unpopular (it’s unwelcome among some fans and that’s their prerogative but the numbers don’t lie and they say that it’s not unpopular), so idk

Also, the nicest thing I could say is, “those fics didn’t suck” but in fairness that’s probably less a function of them being Ky*lux and more a function of how they’re for one of my kinks, and the writing that exists for said kink is largely pretty…… Not Good.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: I’m waiting for the reveal that Rey and Kylo are cousins or something, because I’m expecting it to happen, and then a lot of the people who ship it, “because Kylo is totally better than Finn because of reasons that have nothing to do with racism because the shippers said so” will jump ship and I will go, “I told you so, did you not pay attention to Luke and Leia or what.”

Note: I am specifically only talking about that particular kind of Rey*lo shipper, because in fairness, there are plenty of people who ship it in ways where they don’t actually want Rey and Kylo to be together, and in ways where they don’t bash Finn, and yes, it’s a pretty fucked up ship, but there are people who ship it in fucked up ways and tag all their shit responsibly, and I will have nothing to, “I told you so” about at them, in the event that Rey*lo gets jossed by them being blood relatives.

my favourite storyline/moment: the one where KyBen is all, “*ACCIO GRANDPA’S LIGHTSABER*” and Finn is all, “NOT TODAY JACKASS” and then Kylo tries it again and the lightsaber is all, “NO I LIKE REY BETTER” and the theme music swells and FUCK IT YESSSSS

a storyline that never should have been written: … *shrugs*? the trilogy is still being played out, we don’t have a lot to work with here yet

my first thoughts on it: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i love the theories that kylo ren is actually jacen solo, zoom zoom fights in space and flying in space, whoosh whoosh shiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng lightsaber noises, i love star wars, pew pew”

my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, lmao i am so glad that kylo ren is not jacen solo, jacen sweetie i am so sorry that i ever wanted that you deserve so much better, finn and rey and poe and rose and jess should all be happy and like adopt a puppy, also luke is gay now because fuck george lucas, i am so proud of my gay autistic space son and how he now wants the jedi to end because he has realized that the only way for the force to have balance is if there are NO jedi and NO sith, whoosh whoosh shhhhiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnng lightsaber noises

“like seriously how has it taken this long for this idea to make it to the main canon (since lbr most people don’t know jack about the EU or KOTOR or anything), i mean wow it is almost like the jedi and the sith are both totally fucked up beyond all hopes of salvaging either faction not least because having either faction in the first place makes humans more likely to fuck up everything with the force because people suck, WHOOSH WHOOSH SHIIIIINNNNNNNG MAKES SAID LIGHTSABER NOISES EVEN MORE LOUDLY TO PISS OFF GEORGE LUCAS AND HE CAN’T DO SHIT TO STOP ME BECAUSE HE DOESN’T OWN THE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO THE UNIVERSE ANYMORE HA HA FUCKEDDY HA HA HA, #KreiaWasRight #TotallyVindicated, i can’t believe that rey and luke are going to be queer autistic space icons together #blessed

“i love star wars, pew pew pew”

#sikenesque #memes for ts #mine: asks #ask box tag #opinions for ts #star wars #longish post//#mine: star wars

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realfinemood · 7 years

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In which I don’t get any further in the actual plot per se, but I do finish up everyone’s loyalty missions, remember how much I love krogans, and momentarily derail my Vetra romance.

This is after all loyalty missions are done and I have 100% on Eos, Havarl, Kadara, 94% on Voeld, and 72% on Elaaden. Hoooow is there that much left to do?

Got a little further on with Peebee’s storyline. She and Ryder have finally warmed up to each other, to the point where she’s kinda replaced Liam as the non Vetra/Drack option for squad selection. (How to win over Ryder: give her a robot to play with. Though you can’t go naming it after I’ve already given her a name, Peebee!) I started riding around with her and Vetra, which resulted in the adorable banter of Peebee complaining that Ryder doesn’t let anyone else drive, Vetra whistling innocently (impressive with the lack of lips!), and Peebee realizing it’s just SHE isn’t allowed to drive. Also one where Peebee clearly does not get the comparison of her and Sid. They fought for a couple of banters where I was sad yet ANOTHER person didn’t like Ryder’s future gf, but they got past it real quick. Also drove around with her and Drack which was all really cute. My favorite was (paraphrased) “What’s with the mask makeup? Trying to look like a superhero?” “What’s with all the bones? Trying to look like a supervillain?” “Yup.” Also apparently Peebee is half elcor. That honestly explains so much.

So I decided to fiiiiinally get to Cora’s loyalty mission.

I was 100% ready to continue mocking Cora’s obvious crush, but from the get go Ryder did not like Sarissa. You stole plans to help you get through the Scrouge and away from the Kett, and yet are still stuck in the Scrouge and there’s Kett on your damn ship? Like. So literally all you accomplished is putting a giant target on the ark? Wow, super great job there, so glad you’re in charge. Cora wasn’t best pleased with Ryder, but as Vetra pointed out, she’s like hundreds of years old, I’m sure she’s heard worse. This of was all even before finding out that she also left the Pathfinder to die getting that useless info. Awesome, so now you’re a terrible bodyguard on top of everything else? Geez lady …

Vederia, however, was an immediate like. Sure she was terrified, but she seemed to be the only person actually attempting to do something. (I was rolling my eyes so hard at Cora telling an actual asari commando how to act like an asari commando, but at this point I’ve come to realize if Cora could get away with painting herself blue she would, so whatever.) I’m totally fine with her being the new Pathfinder, despite her total inexperience. Ryder seems to be the only person accomplishing anything and she has zero experience so hey!

Then on to Jaal’s mission! Totally meant to bring Liam on this one too but completely forgot. Anyways this would be the mission where I see everything coming and yet am somehow completely surprised by everything! (And Ryder overuses the word badass by a whoooole lot.)

Seriously though, when Jaal’s brother was spilling the beans, I absolutely was thinking “dude, they are absolutely going to shoot you in the back stop talking!” But then when they actually did shoot him, I out loud went, “Holy SHIT!!!” because I guess I wasn’t ACTUALLY expecting it after all? So hey, well played there! Also Jaal’s brother is a good dude, I would not take getting shot in the back by my own family that calmly.

It was pretty hysterical the way Jaal drags Ryder over to show her off as his friend the good alien. I feel kinda bad because I feel like Jaal thinks Ryder’s a way better friend than she probably thinks she is? IDK I feel like I’m giving Cora and Jaal the short end of the stick this go. Will have to give them a try with a Ryder that fits them better later.

But still, she let Jaal take the lead despite everything. Even when it had me convinced I was absolutely going to end up getting Jaal killed. I mean. I knew that they had to have been telegraphing the “jumping in and saving Jaal is the wrong choice” thing with how many times Jaal said to follow his lead, but I still went “Oh god I should have taken the interrupt and killed him because now Jaal is going to die I fucked up.” But I let it happen and now Jaal has a fancy new scar that’s apparently going to win him all the ladies. I mean. It’s no rocket to the face, but I guess if the ladies weren’t impressed by the chunk that’s already missing out of the side of his head, an extra scar might do it? Whatever floats your boat, man.

Next was finally going to Elaaden. Which. Have I mentioned how much I love the krogan? Because I love the krogan SO MUCH you guys. Honestly if New Tuchanka had just been the terminals I would have been content because they were all hysterical, from the Sadie Hawkins dance that apparently ended in death, to the krogan LARPing, to the new dads baby group (with explosions!). I also really enjoyed the fact that they’re using the new galaxy as an excuse to walk back the gender issues, not just having women everywhere but making a point of working on treating them equally. (Also I want to make gingerbread cookies for them all now.)

Also Drack got stuck in T-pose for a while and it was kinda hysterical. Not only did he just float around behind Ryder like a balloon, during fights he’d float over to the enemy, yell, and then the enemy would fall down, I guess out of fright?

Ryder I’m not sure enjoys the krogan half as much as I do, and was so offended when the one called her rude and then the other lady bitched at her (“But she asked me! YOU asked me!”). But after finding the whole bomb thing was a setup, she ended up giving the drive core to the krogan in exchange for a friendly outpost. Or you know. One that exists since all my new krogan overlord “friend” does is growl at me now? Which is. A little weird.

Also can I just say, FINALLY someone points out how weird it is that so many people immediately turned into violent assholes when they got to Andromeda. Thank you Lexi for restoring my faith that there was a least a LITTLE vetting going on.

While we were there, I did Drack’s loyalty mission, which may be tied with Liam’s as my favorite. The violence part fit Drack perfectly, but I especially loved the fact that Ryder did not have to choose between the botanist and the seeds. Because I get it, you’re playing a game, but like that should never be Ryder’s decision?? And I was dreading having to make it until Drack did (and then later the kid saved himself.) I loved Drack’s cranky old man reaction to the fact that the kid was courting his granddaughter and I honestly felt so bad for him when he was saying how pointless he was now, which of course Ryder was having none of. You are her new krogan grandpa and you aren’t going anywhere old man. (I was seriously tempted to let him drop the dude, but yeah I guess we do actually need him.) Also Ryder thinks the kid is adorable and she will absolutely go deliver flowers for him, hush Drack.

The next stop was going to be Peebee’s mission, but I decided to go do the turian ark one first, and it made sense to go back to the Tempest after that. While I was there, Kallo said Peebee wanted to talk, which, she’s apparently been wanting to for a while but every time I checked her door doesn’t work? But I gave it another shot and this time it worked!

And then, er, Ryder may have banged Peebee.

I hadn’t planned to! Ryder hasn’t even flirted with her at all! But the scene with the airlock was really cute and then Peebee asked if she wanted to fool around. And at first I had Ryder turn her down… but it just felt wrong. At this point in their friendship, with the extent of her relationship with Vetra being just flirting, and an offer of no stings attached? Yeah, no, she’s definitely taking her up on that (after a quick Google search to make sure I wasn’t fucking up the actual romance I’m going for) so I ended up reloading the conversation and going for it. And it was really sweet! I mentally shifted the Ryder I originally intended for a Peebee romance over to Liam when it was certain he was straight, but I may rethink that again…

All of which actually makes the fact that she is now 100% going to kill her just that much more hysterical.

So after easily getting Poc back, for some reason nobody saw the giant trap there. Ryder and Vetra, neither having seen the game play previews, did not see what a bad idea coming into Peebee’s escape pod was. Neither one was Best Pleased with her lovely decision to rocket said escape pod into an active volcano with no plan of how to get out again.

I ended up not shooting the ex. I had every intention of doing so, because clearly this is not someone Peebee needs in her life! But the fact that Peebee would pass up remtech and say it’s not worth her life? Yeah, Ryder isn’t going to fatally make that decision for her. She 100% did warn her not to start trusting her afterwards though. While also informing Peebee that she’ll be paying for that escape pod. And is never allowed back in one. Yes, even for emergencies. Because consequences! Learn them!

#.gaming #mass effect andromeda #mea spoilers #realfinemoodgames #gwendolyn ryder

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