#idk man sorry for being an asshole

[cemeterything]

i hope it's ok to do this because i know youre a fan of tma but there's a pretty long piece of investigative journalism from some fairly wellknown names in audio drama about rusty quill and their behavior towards their employees and producers of shows on their network that i think is worth reading medium[.]com /@newtschott /whos-afraid-of-alex-j-newall-ae3a67f3a5e1

oh man. this is extremely disappointing, to put it lightly. i never really kept up with the workings of rusty quill itself, so i apologize now to anyone who got into the magnus archives because of me and decided to support rusty quill financially as a result when it appears that at the very least they've been very incompetent with how they manage their company and treated their staff unacceptably. if i'd been aware of this, i would have tried to make people aware of what they were potentially getting into. i'll definitely have to think hard about whether i want to engage with the planned magnus protocol sequel at all (even through piracy or something), let alone talk about it on my blog :/

i'm going to link the article here since the link you gave me in the ask didn't work for me. i recommend reading the whole thing to anyone who decides to check it out, and paying attention to the author's requests not to harass or 'cancel' rusty quill for their actions, but hold them accountable and be aware of their flaws.

#man. i love magnus so much so now i feel like a prize asshole for not knowing shit about the company behind it. i am really sorry guys. #im not gonna stop posting magnus because it already ended 2 years ago so like. idk if it makes a difference any more than posting say #homestuck or something which also has a history of being bad with finances and staffing. but ill have to stay updated on this because i #dont want to encourage people to sink their money into a dodgy company. #rusty quill situation

[localgardenweed]

Just saw the new video Hargreaves posted via tiktok and im sorry i sighed seeing the Tord clip im sorry gang i cant get myself hyped.

I dont know why but for a while now all the Tord stuff has been leaving a bad taste in my mouth cause before it was “guys dont ask us about Tord stop asking ugh so annoying” to “hey guys dropping more Tord merch, episodes, spinoff show and also gonna send him over to do a concert with Miku” or some shit like ok they realized he is a cash cow its okay to admit that but idk, as much as I love Tord i feel like it would have been better to let him go bury him in satin laid down on a bed of roses sunk into the river at dawn sent away with the words of a love song. I know people love Tord and I DO TOO if you look through my old stuff you knew he was like one of my favs and also ya know the whole oc x canon stuff but i dont know, knowing Larson wanted Tord out of the show after he left just for him to be brought back in The End, show ended and like hm well this is it to Beyond dropping and getting made fun of for wanting him back to then turning him into a cash cow and whole joke and middle finger to fans who wanted him back by teasing them with him behind a paywall or just murdering him on screen. I know they need money this shit doesn’t come for free but idk it always left a bad taste in my mouth. For those who are happy for the possible probably maybe return of Tord, good for you guys, but im gonna hold off on celebrating.

#localgardenweed #the weed is rambling #eddsworld #eddsworld beyond #tord eddsworld #eddsworld tord #ew tord #tord ew #sorry guys call me a hater but smth just always felt so yucky with all the Tord stuff lately #if any of you are gonna like start being assholes too about all this like dude stfu people have different feelings on stuff #just because we dont want Tord back doesnt mean we dont like him or like fun police #i would love Tord back but with all of the stuff combined it just feels wrong #Unless like Larson decides to come out of hiding and like says yeah its cool i dont think im ever gonna be 100% ok with it #which lets be real like 99.999% not gonna happen #smth will always feel off or wrong about it #He wanted his character gone but had the resurge in The End as much as I love TomSka i feel like he shouldn’t have brought him back #and now this like leave the man’s character be #idk if this is gonna be one of my hot takes but i felt like sharing it #also for reference/credentials i was in the fandom 2017 like i was there a year after it was wrapped up

[elliesbelle]

NGL Y’ALL, y’all almost got the next chapter of ncty tonight, but instead i had to play therapist for a couple of 50+ year olds (my parents) all evening lol

#there’s so much drama in my family rn GOD #it’s a long story but essentially my little sister hasn’t spoken to my parents in months bc they were being assholes #and they’re being asshole crybabies about it and attempting to use me as the middle man #but i’m refusing lol and they’re mad and even madder that they’re not invited to her wedding next year LOOOOOL #just straight up throwing tantrums because i keep telling them to apologize and they don’t want to lol #anyway sorry i’ll try to finish up what i can for ncty tonight but it might have to wait til tomorrow idk #belle speaks

[ocarinaofpride]

sometimes the popular interpretations of a character can be very wrong/kinda boring. maybe referring to sephiroth here….

#theres a lot of them that i just…. don’t understand why they exist #liek idk i see ppl make him a womanizer/a total seductive asshole and its like.. did we play the same games? #he just wouldnt be like that. The only reason why that exists is bc of ppl being thirsty unfortunately #which takes up a good majority of seph fans. #not saying that’s particularly bad but it can impact how ppl view/interpret characters VERRY heavily #but aside from that i think ppl r too boring with him. i dont get to see true silly guy pre nibelheim seph #whats the deal… why… #honestly we should have more loser seph art. i need more nerdy seph content man #i cant just be tje only one that does everything…. #SIGHHH…. whatever… I guess… #maybe if i tried hard enough nerdy lameo seph will become a popular thing #(acting like idgaf so it happens faster) #sorry. thats enough . this is too long #ill continue sharing my niche hcs on here… and hope they stick with someone

[mossytrashcan]

Unrelated but I was thinking about Koschei for reasons (I was reading about proto indo European pantheon and it turns out 'Fire God formed in water' is a myth researchers think they mightve had and it remonded me of Vassa) and am I allowed to say how funny it is that like, Koschei is so directly named after a myth. Like Bone Carvers his own thing and Stryga is technically got like The Three Fates/The Witch in Hansel and Gretel vibes, and then there's Koschei who is basically just the guy from the myth including the title. ALSO protoindoeuropean pantheon speculation is dope BTW you should research it its fascinating

Bold of you to assume I haven’t already researched it. I fucking loved anything protoindoeuropean as a kid, the folklore FUCKS

Anyways, personally I would’ve loved it if SJM combined Lanthys and Koschei together into one character. I think (no shade to ACOSF and it’s enthusiasts) instead of the rehab/whatever plot we got, we could’ve gotten to see a little brief corruption arc w Nesta and Koschei

Cuz like imagine a story where this deathless death god found out about cauldrongate and was like psychologically manipulating Nesta into gathering all of the troves (his soul bits) so that she could 1) become his queen/weapon, 2) make him all powerful, and 3) become a literal shield for him because the gang would have to kill her to kill him

(gonna unprofessionally ramble in the tags because I need to brainstorm about this lol)

#this probably sucks ass but I genuinely love the Koschei the Deathless myths sauuur much #like how fucking dare you throw him in there casually #anyways I need to work out the wrinkles in this hmmm #I know I’m bomb at pitching stories but there’s stuff missing and I need to work it out yknow #but yeah drop the mortal queen who’s evil thing cuz honestly who gives a fuck #also no shade to the rehab thing it was v relatable but also clearly a background for super sex #it could’ve been set up in the christmas special too #like oooo look something’s weird with nesta what could it be #and then also instead of there being too much free time for cassian to come off as an asshole #maybe he’s like trying to get thru to her or something #maybe it could be a literal retelling of the koschei story where the guy fucks his ass up for his lover #yeah that’s good see I just need to brainstorm in live time #sjm critical #THIS ISNT ABOUT HER I SWEAR IM JUST PITCHING #also also you could tie in nesta’s grooming for grooming #like in a sick way this is what she was raised to do #her wacky grandmother who def existed to make her story more sad laid the foundation for this #and now she has to like break that cycle and reaffirm that NO she doesn’t need to exist for old men #she deserves something better and epic #idk man I’m going crazy sorry

[gifti3]

If solomon asked me to be a defender of humanity, i dont think i could look him in the eye and say yes

#talking about obey me once again #hmmm....its like asking a gnat to be the defender of bug kind or something #or maybe a fly #like sorry solomon but...dont have that type of grace in my body #mc is supposed to be a character that sees the good in everyone so ig it makes sense in their case #but at the same time i feel like this conflicts with the way they behave sometimes #when i think of someone who always sees the good in ppl #tohru honda is one of the first ppl to pop into my head #and shes very VERY kind #and very very forgiving #to the point of being a doormat #not to say that u cant be an assertive person and also see the good in people at the same time #but u cant be unnecessarily cruel u know #and mc sometimes is an asshole just because #so thats where im like...contradictions #ANYWAYS i just always thought about that ever since solomon asked the mc to help him defend humans #and i was just like...idk man #and it didnt really have to do with me wanting to always be on the brothers side or anything #its just......can i care about people at a regular human level??? #i dont wanna make 500 pacts and play mind games with demons to help lmao #it feels like im sticking my neck out for a world that would most likely not do the same for me you know?? #maybe if i were immortal like sol then id sing a different tune? #i feel like if u live long enough u youll either really like humans or really hate him

[starlooove]

would you include cis people in trans spaces? straight people in gay and bi spaces? no? then why would you include cisgender straight people in les gay bi trans spaces? lgbt aces are lgbt. cisgender straight aces aren't. please be less of a moron.

That wasn’t my question tho. My question was what material gain do you get outta excluding ace and aro people from the community? How does that materially benefit the community as a whole irl and is the political landscape we’re in now appropriate to be doing that in? What makes it serious enough for you to be such a bitch about it?

#and Im so serious like I wanna know #like irl ramifications of ace and aro ppl being considered queer #and i think the comparisons are interesting bc like #im sorry but ‘if we let X happens Y happens’ is not reason enough alone to be such an asshole to me #like if u can’t bring up a reason why that alone is the problem idk man #and like i feel like the aggression is kinda unwarranted but I’ve never let tone stop me from learning so gon ahead #and Im trying my best to be unbiased but the white queer label discourse is so tired to me #but then if this is important and is genuinely impacting the community irl in a dire way I do wanna know #Idk man I just have the ‘theres people dying’ mentality like I think exclusion is just the furthest thing to worry about when bigots see us #all the same #but thats my opinion based on what I know and I’ll admit idk much on the ace discourse #well not from anons side anyways #but like if ur all like this do I wanna know? #yeah tbh go ahead #still think the anon boldness is very funny #don’t be shy let’s talk fr 💀

[anaalnathrakhs]

argh you just know there’s something a little shady under that whole retirement situation :))))

#sorry i have an unhealthy parasocial attachement to that old man but #like #either he unfollowed them bc retiring bc of health concerns is probably not fun and having the whole travel log rubs salt on the wound #which is the charitable explanation but still depressing #or he might've been forced into retirement or smth and there's bad blood :))))) #right when nikki talks about making new material #mick ''unclear status in the band as so far a touring retirement was retirement from all meaningful activities of the band'' mars #unfollows their social media #like he WAS kinda sweeped under the rug following retirement but it's not necessarily out of character for him #at least whether he likes it or not that's how he's handled it since he's been in motley #but like. is it that crazy to think it COULD have happened that he's being excluded from this hypothetical new music #and isn't taking it well #like i'm not trying to say the others are horrible evil assholes like just the geographical distance will cause exclusion #and while that would be painful to everyone to be excluded in such a way it's not necessarily ethically wrong or whatever #we don't know what they discuss or not and what kind of internal agreement they have #BUT THEY DO HAVE A HISTORY OF BEING PETTY BITCHES #AND IT WOULDN'T BE TOO FAR FETCHED TO SAY THEY MIGHT'VE WENT AND BEEN DICKS TO EACH OTHER AGAIN #WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME #like idk if say. i was in mick's shoes. and i. say. learned from social media that the band i'm supposed to work with is making new music #without me #after 40 years #and didn't warn me or didn't discuss this with me or something #i'd be pretty pissed #now of course i'm not saying this is what happened #i'm just saying it might have happened #and the entire basis of this anyway is that i'm very sad my parasocially beloved old man might be upset #and the status quo of general peace and happiness my parasocially beloved band might be disturbed #and i need to talk it out #so yeah #broadcasting my misery

[sosquaresowhat]

Yo what the fuuuuck happened to my friends?

Obvi if you can see this it's not you, you're still lovely <3 this is about old work and college friends

#just have had like peoples personality flip a whole ass 180 lately. like my genuinely good dude friend now is hella far right #another friend just straight up being an asshole to me about shit i have no control over #like bud the shit you got going on i had nothing to do with and i sympathize but youre at a 10 and you need to bring it to a 3. #and im just like? idk i miss my high school group in a way cause i know theyre all still good people #now im over here dodging drama bullshit left and right like its a job and man i do not want a part of it. #like im sorry a friend of yours is now competing in your same space and stealing your ideas that sucks. #but i didnt do that and im not even in that space. #im also sorry that i asked your opinion on my shit and it doesnt vibe with your business model #but you didnt need to shit on it because YOU cant see YOURSELF making money on it #because its NOT FOR YOU! its mine dude. #and the right wing friend oh my god i dont even know how they got so fucking lost in the sauce and im feeling insane about it #just wow. yikes. i gotta meet new people and reconnect with older friends.

[the-pigeon]

sometimes you just gotta sit down and realise that you kinda suck. and then you gotta learn to deal with that

#pigeon talks #i will not vent on main i will not vent on main i will not vent on main i will not vent on main #i'll write fucking poetry about it tomorrow i guess idk #or maybe i should just take my stupid meds that are meant to make me an okay person #fuuuck i haven't had time to go get more so i've just been. sad. snd angry. and miserable for a while #so much for not venting on main lmaooo #look. i've just been. weird lately. cause i've realised things about me. that. suck #basically i just find more and more Symptoms of autism and then hate myself over it which sucks because i love being autistic but fuck dude #it's just weird idk #i've also been thinking i have. like npd or smthn. but i cant tell if im just an arrogant unempethtic asshole because of. autism or the npd #they really don't make this shit easy do they #whatever. i should go to sleep #i'll prolly delete this in the morning when i wake up and realise im. being dramatic #im just. upset at myself for sucking. and i wanna blame someone else but i dont wanna be an arrogant unempathetic asshole #i can't blame other people cause its not their fault but i dont wanna blame myself because. thats Bad #i neee my meds man fuuuuuuck #okay good night for real this time #sorry i know this isnt the quality content you followed the the-pigeon blog for. i'll do better tmrw ok i pinky prommy

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #sorry. this is a little mean but. #i think jean being like ‘’im clinically depressed harry’’ is a little funny. #like i get it. ik why he keeps pointing it out specifically to harry who is an asshole and constantly trying his patience #but also could u even imagine if he was ur partner in the investigation instead of kim #the residents of martinaise would fucking eat this man KSHSJDJXCJ #jean: im clinically depressed #any martinaise resident: yeah yeah the horrors we’ve all seen them #like idk it’s hard for me to sympathize much w any of the cops in the game #tho it’s not like the situation w jean and harry isn’t sympathetic like. [gestures broadly] ik how that is #but it just amuses me a little that jean keeps bringing that up DKDHSGXJ #when im p sure that’s the case for literally every character in this game LDLDUDYDJF #like i don’t even mean it in a ‘’get over it’’ way but just like. read the room. ur a cop dude KDGDDJDHC #idk i enjoy jean’s character but i can’t rlly take him v seriously most of the time #bringing up his clinical depression while ignoring how mortified judit ‘’divorced single mother w a dead partner’’ minot is by his nonsense #like idk. i think he’s as silly and pathetic as harry and kim are i can’t take the sadboy jean angle #but unlike harry and kim he doesn’t strike me like there’s any hope for him to ever be anything but a cop #and even w harry and kim that hope is like. a minuscule sliver that i probably wouldn’t even have #except for the fact that harry can literally quit on the spot and go on to renounce the rcm if u fail to save ruby #and kim… well honestly im not that optimistic it’s just that the phasmid scene seems to imply Maybe his mind can be opened to other things #anyway. not the point. the point is jean just seems too bitter and stuck in his ways to me #so maybe that’s why i can’t find myself as fond of him as other ppl #like i do enjoy him he’s a funny guy w a lot of complexity #but. well. i just find him mostly laughable in the way harry is laughable #a cop w legitimately sympathetic problems but who’s ultimately too embittered and self absorbed #to open his eyes to the miracle™️ and change #anyway um that’s why i find the clinical depression lines a little funny #like ok buddy. did shooting up a church make u feel better

[just-miru]

was bored so i scrolled down the blueycapsules william tag on twitter only to find out there was some kinda silly argument i think over William's design a few days ago with some people saying they hate it and stuff (these people seem to hate the whole comic, actually), comparing the blueycapsules design with rebornica's Vincent and stuff for some reason

and then some blueycapsules fans would come in saying that William's design isn't supposed to be attractive in the first place and i am like excuse me what-

#'you know you fucked up when your William design looks more goofy than Rebornica's Vincent' like- #idk maybe it's just me but that's exactly what makes blueycapsules' design for William stand out - his silliness and pathetic looks #most William designs i have seen are this lanky ass dude #a business man u wouldn't wanna mess with #'your daughter calls me daddy too' vibes and so on #and there's nothing wrong with that i guess but it just gets kinda boring ya know? #having this silly man that looks like the idea/concept of William Afton the beatles murdoc and Spamton all smashed together is refreshing #and i just think that's creative #also- i know i don't have the greatest taste when it comes to fictional men but holy fuck- #r u really telling me that his design is supposed to be ugly? how?? asdkdkabsbsjsm- #i just think it's funny #and since i am in the mood to rant about stuff apparently- #besides the typical 'i hate blueycapsules cause the characters' designs suck' people i keep on seeing #like fine go off i guess #there's also people saying that William is a poorly written villain?? like- #sorry he doesn't have a sob backstory to justify his evil bastard actions #but that doesn't mean he's poorly written #him being an asshole just because is the charm of his character actually #'he's just a phyco where's the flavour to it??' y'all just don't have taste #if you find a villain well written only if they have a sad story to back them up and stuff i don't know what to tell ya #having a good character go apeshit due to what has happened to them can be interesting #but just like above with William's design exemple #it can get quite boring if the same narrative is used over and over again #but i also get this idea that people only want sad backstories for villains so they can justify why they like them? cowards- #like your evil characters regardless of that shit #trauma/sad backstory or not what they did is still morally wrong #their backstory can be used as an explanation sure but it doesn't excuse their actions - they're still villains #so why take away the joy of enjoying and supporting a silly rotten man and his silly rotten actions just because he lacks a sad backstory? #asdkskak- i think i am done #thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[frankiegirl]

man I should be proofreading and posting my fic but I saw this post about Pete wentz this morning and it shook me to my core and I don’t know what to do lmao

#parasocial relationship breakdown time #like IS that even true not to be like that idk #but how could I have been stuck inside this man’s asshole for over half of my life and never heard any of these allegations #like any #like we all know he wasn’t always the best ever person #but like untreated mental illness and being unmedicated or medicated poorly leads to bad decisions and relationships dude idk #idk idk idk idk #I’m scared to google it more lmfao #also op was going on abt misogyny inherent in fob lyrics…………sorry where?

[thotsfortherapy]

bruh I had a social for my club and my housemate ruined the vibes so bad like. The way I feel like I need to send out a mass apology for their behaviour now :////

#cy says stuff #personal #idk man they are an asshole and they were making everyone very uncomfortable #and it's like idk what to tell you you are being mean. i don't care if it's in the context of a game no one is having fun anymore #they literally made my other housemate cry because of how aggressive they were being about it #like how can you not tell you are literally ruining this for everyone bro #my friend texted me afterwards like YIKES and we were looking at each other like 👀👀 the entire night so that was reassuring #but yeah this is why I'm literally never home anymore because they are so draining to be around and all they do is cause problems LMAO #i will probably have to have a conversation about it but it's very difficult because I've already tried setting boundaries so many times #and if I didn't live with them i would literally cut them out so fast #last time i tried to set boundaries they were like ugh I'm so sorry but it totally wasn't a representation of who i actually am #like i was just having a really bad week :((((( #and I'm like that is not an excuse to be awful to your friends #if you are only a good friend when you're in a good mood and then take all your negative emotions out on the ppl around you #but yeah it's also hard because i genuinely do not want to continue this relationship but I'm renting with them at the moment #so I'm just avoiding them as much as possible #just like 🙄 it's so annoying #venting #rant

[aftermathing]

The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."

#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags #Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts #and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then #after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly. #No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there????? #This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries #and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof. #Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ?? #No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever #They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :(' #Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up #And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt #But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people #Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but. #Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap #And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me #Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand #Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong' #I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this #Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both #Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm #Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken #I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better #And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right #But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and #My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.' #'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you' #If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting #Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt #Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day

[bubblegumbeyotch]

.

#whyyyyy am i so annoyed and pessimistic all the timeeeee #like a friend invited me out and was talking about potential places to go #and i was like ugh all of these places sound like a hassle and i just wanna stay in my house #and not go anywhere or do anything #like idk when my attitude shifted like this bc i used to be super social #but it feels like nowadays i only want to be alone #or at most in the company of like maybe one or two people #everything just feels so overwhelming and like a lot of things are objectively going right in my life #for the first time in a long time #and i feel like an asshole because it’s like damn bitch this still won’t make you happy? #like i finally have a stable job and a loving relationship and i still find ways to make myself miserable #and i just feel like an ungrateful bitch #how do i stop being so fucking irritable? how do i stop being insufferable to be around? #like i feel rude bc im always leaving plans early and i always feel so out of it while im out with people #like i’m just a spectator and then people expect me to participate in whatever’s going on #and i have to work so hard just to act like a regular fucking person #who isn’t seething and grappling with some unknowable thing under the surface #and of course i realize i am not unique in this at all. everyone’s going through something #but i guess i just feel bad bc it’s affecting my relationships #like i feel so isolated from everyone and so reluctant to open up #and like how do i be like hey sorry man im not avoiding you bc i hate you i just feel unfit for human consumption right now #like what does that even mean? #anyway i don’t wanna go to work. im so tired #personal