#idk if i have more thougjts

[minimoefoe]

thoughts after reading a court of silver flames for the first time

before and while reading this book tiktok was force-feeding me many acotar vids so this is what I already knew going in/found out while reading but before I got to those moments:

feyre gets pregnant, rhys keeps some kind of secret about the pregnancy from feyre, the baby has wings, it's called nyx

cassian and nesta get together (obviously)

there's someone called gwyn, ppl ship her with azriel

nesta changes her and feyre's bodies so they can have winged babies??

nesta loses her power to save feyre and/or rhys

thoughts after reading

rhys (and everyone else but especially rhys) not telling feyre about how risky the birth was gonna be is INSANE. I know it's rhys' thing to not tell ppl things but at a certain point it's like okay you're just a twat actually. like.. feyre deserves to know there's a big chance this baby is gonna kill her

ALSO, it's literally a thing that feyre in a previous book was like hey don't keep things from me, tell me your plans and he KEPT keeping secrets and then he does this as well...?

I was thinking that maybe this is purposely to show rhys isn't perfect and we'll see growth from him/he'll get called out at some point but going by how it got brushed over pretty quickly and he's kept secrets before and nothing happened I'd say it seems like sarah j maas fr doesn't realise how fucked it is that rhy keeps doing this and getting sway with it

I'm glad nesta told feyre about the baby stuff even if it didn't come out in the nicest way and I don't think anyone should've given her shit for it. rhys being like 'get her to leave or I'll kill her' PLEASE grow up

it simultaneously was really cool and really strange to have the focus not be on feyre (and rhys) like part of me was like omg it's an end of an era and things won't be the same and another part of me was like UGH how cool to be getting more details on other characters within the series and get to also see rhys and feyre continue their lives in a subplot. I really liked it but also it was sad/strange

nesta thinking elain would love the spring court, elain not looking like she fits in at the night court... it smells of her getting with lucien and tamlin being redeemed and them moving to the spring court idk

I was thinking the house being alive was just some weird shit that wasn't gonna get addressed at all but I liked it a lot

seeing nesta make friends and stuff made me so happy. I found her mildly annoying at first, which isn't a shock bc she's been annoying for a while now, but I did get that it was bc she was going through shit so I tried not to be too annoyed at her but seeing her pull herself together throughout the book was so worth her annoyingness I think

Cassian taking Nesta on a however many day trek through the mountains after she revealed the baby stuff was very odd

Eris is so !! I need more info about him and wtf he's refusing to tell anyone except Mor

I knew going in that people ship Az and Gwyn but they barely interact 😭 I don't really see the appeal rn but if we ever get more of them I'll defo be down

I gave the book 4.5 stars bc I LOVED it so much like it was Nesta just reading books, walking down stairs, sucking dick and healing herself and we love that but the stuff with the crown etc didn't sink in fully so I think I need to pay more attention whenever I reread and I'm not sure how I feel about the stuff with rhys and feyre. them having a baby isn't my fave thing but I can live with it like whatever, the whole secret keeping thing is where it loses me the most like it was just ridiculous

need an Elain focused book right now so we can unpack her, Lucien, and Azriel bc I find it very intriguing. I'm team Lucien but the buzz I get when Azriel and Elain are weird around each other is kinda crazy. I skimmed the bonus chapter but I need to go back and read it properly

Emerie CLEARLY fancies Mor like hello

#reading thoughts #nesta archeron #cassian acotar #idk if i have more thougjts #will edit and add them if i think of any

[stiffyck]

I think we should talk about cleo being the mother to scar in relation to tcd more.

Like why would scar see cleo as a motherly figure? Even as a joke??? Because he grew up with zombies and they were the only thing he knew? Maybe his mother got turned into a zombie and Scar couldn't bring himself to kill her so he just kept her around tied up or locked up somewhere....

Maybe he'd talk to her and tell her about his day. Maybe he brought her food. Maybe he tried so hard to pretend she's still alive...

Maybe Cleo brings a strange form of comfort to him

#idk what im talking about im just hbnnngmhdd tcd scarrrrrrr #gtws #tcd scar #stiff talk #ive been watching cleo lately i need to give them some more thougjts and post those too #i have ideas and stuff #ill post smt tomorrow #maybe even try to draw it #ill see

[snail-studios]

The visceral rage I feel when I see a brilliant and unique monster design humanised into a white twink with a pinterest haircut and full makeup

#people always tend to make monsters into really young and androgynous characters #which can work #but when it's a guardian stalker or a Lynel or whatever they shouldn't be.... do what you want but Idk #personally i think we shouldn't be so scared to turn monsters into older and scarred people who don't look like pinterest models #you do you but im putting in conscious efforts to make my human versions of non-human stuff and creechers™ look MESSDD UP man #or just not.... Airbrushed #pleasw #I'm begging you #add scars and marks to your characters in places other than the eye or cheek #not everyone's scars are going to look like that #scars are beautiful anyway #you're doing yourself a disservice not drawing them #Anywya im not trying to target anyone I just have. Thougjts. #there also like a but of bias #especially when you turn them to fem presenting characters #they always have to look stereotypically beautiful #while the more maac characters have more freedom #*sigh* anyway #draw what you want friends <3

[thatonegaybastard]

I should make pc voice claims i have affew already but not many. anyways time to ibfodump uh

pascal has two one is like more close to what I actually imagine bim sounding like and rhe other is a good bit less accurate then the first one but its funny um. the more serious one is he sounds like morty from rick and morty. its basically spot on just I inagibe his voic elieke a tiny bit higher. the second one is jason funderburker from dover the garden wall msotly because jason looks sonmuch like. pascal. and I never watched over the garden wall (or rick and norty) but from what I xan tell jason is like a lot like pascsl too. what the heck

I imagine each channel sebastian has has a different voice. i have a speciifc voice for sebastian main channel thing but I cant think of anyone who sounds like it its like kind of deep or like. average deepness. and like very slightly british. rex (very angry channel) sounds like cave johnson from portal. ruby (very sad channel)bsounds like sad ena from ena or misery from ruby gloom either works. I want to use funt I'll me foxy but isk what channel itd be for. maybe the news but idk if ill even have the news

spidey has a voiceclaim bit its kiterally just a voice I made for her. idk how to describe it. spideryish. high pitched. Its my voice but im making it sound different

same with honeycrumbs as spidey but i trie dtk make honeycrumbs sound more like a bee

I have never mentioned this oc on this account before but socks sound slike blakc crow by girl rituals its litetally perfect for them thats exactly it

kohaku sounds like spike from my little pony friendhsip is magic. I dont make the rules.oh wait yes I do

I am having so much trouble with this one. at first since I based rieki on a song sung eith vflower I made reikis voice vflower then I changed it semthing else I dont rem m ber because vflowrrs voixe is a bit too rovotic it has a little bit of a robot effect like all vocaloids then i changed it to airy from hfjone but I ewalized that was a bit too monotone for her so I have no idea im just go i ng with vflower until I think of something good

alsodont know for taira. I eant his voice kore high pitched. and I think eggman in the snaocuhe fandubs fits him but poo bly specifcally when hes having A Moment™ also i ahd some ither ideas but I forgot actually ibjust thougjt maybe liam from hfjone. maybe.

I wanna use meanie ena a s a vocieclaim someday but idk who to do it for.

#oc rambling

[celamoon]

holy SHIT i just watched episode idk of the future arc and honestly FUCK DANGANRONPA OMG I GUCKUNG HATE THIS SERIES WHY TF DID THEY WHGE TO KILL OFF KYOKO OMG GOODfuckjng bye SHE MITERALLY JUSTBSAID SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT MAKOTO OPENLY i'm in my grave

ANS THEN. CHISA??????? fuck danganronpa i'm so done goodbye I THOUGJT I WAS SAFE W KYOKO AS MY FAV AFTER DR2. FUCK THE FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY GOODBYE 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Anonnie ur gonna have to watch a lil more of the anime just a lil 👍

#☾.spoilers #☾.asks #☾.anons #she’s not dead btw if she was the fandom would’ve made jokes abt it

[badluvki]

my interests bc i’m bored :

-kpop (main interest) : ults - shinee , nct , loona , redvelvet , aespa , exo , fromis_9 , triples , miss a , snsd , aoa, twice , seventeen , ateez . my ult is key!!!!!!!!!!

-horror : my fav movies are saw franchise , martyrs , terrifier , incantation , texas chainsaw massacre (bc it’s funny as FUCK) , hereditary and sinister . my fav game is outlast and will never change (and final fantasy but that’s not horror) . i also rly like youtube creepy content , analog horror and args , my fav is greylock

-disturbing media : it sounds maniac but i like trying to find the most disturbing media i can not bc i like it but i’m VERY curious about things and it ends up with me going into weird stuff like this , i just research tho im not fucked up

-quentin tarantino movies : i just love them? idk . it started when i saw kill bill for the first time i needed to know more

-movies . : romcoms , comedy , horror , i don’t know the other genre i like’s name but i don’t like superhero movies and that’s basically the only type of film i won’t watch . i’m an n in mbti , i love creating theories and meaning to movies , i fully judge (i’m a j in mbti too) and analyse the movies and make huge essays in them :D

-animals : i work at a vets and i’ve always wanted to dinxe i was a child and here i am , but anyway my fav animals are fat tailed geckos , leopard geckos , corn snake , mexican milk snake , crested geckos , any tarantula but especially chilean rose and arizona blonde , rats , ferrets , possums , raccoons, cats duh i LOVE cats

-dance , producing and rap : i always danced but i had to be taken out of dance classes bc i thought i was more creative than my teachers and kept doing my own thing and i dance everyday for at least 2 hours a day and i’ve rapped since i was young when ariana grande featured rappers in her songs but i gradually got to harder rap and after my cousin passed i fully got inspired to follow my dream to rap better for him and now i practice every day until my toungue goes numb , i’m fast and good and have good flow kmaooo . i produced dubstep w my cousin when i was younger but i have a very big music taste and i am ready to do more recent genres

-art : creating my own product, only have one character based on me so far but it will get more , i’ve drawn since i was young and i use all media but my fav is traditional art and oil paint , i don’t know how to digital paint tho . i’m very good at art

-ariana grande : i was w her since i was a child in urs truly era . i went to all of her concerts in my area apart from dangerous woman luckily , i couldn’t afford that tour , but also i live in birmingham so i wouldve gone to birmingham but still rest in peace to everyone lost 🤍🤍. i have all of her albums and all of her older perfumes but i don’t have mod bc two perfumes would DENT my money . my fav songs of hers are goodnight n go , supernatural and quit (with cashmere cat) . i have sm merch too , when j was a kid in primary school i always wore a ponytail and lace cat ears

-k/c/j/tdramas : my favs are all of us are dead and alice in borderland

-rollercoasters??? : idk i love them , i have been to disneyland and universal florida w mi primo but my fav is alton towers england , my fav ride ever is nemesis . i haven’t gone on new nemesis but i can’t wait to . i talked to a man in the queue and i saw him as my father figure so i begged my ex gf who i hate to let me sit by him and i sat w him on the ride and i was terrified on the lift up but once the ride started i felt euphoric and i didn’t scream once i just smiled at the ride bc it was so fast i didn’t even know what was going on . i am terrified of loops but the queue didn’t have ANYONE in no joke and i didn’t see the track right otherwise i wouldbt have gone on if i knew it had loops and only yesterday i found out it had loops , it was too fast for me to know . i loved it tho . i went on rita (and i passed out after the straight path so i thougjt it was a second long ride and my bsf was desperately trying to wake me up) , wicker man galáctica and 13 , i have too many memories ab this i need a whole post

-random shit : quantum physics , myths and cryptids around the world as well as my own culture , tibetan sky funeral? , diseases , weird phenomenons , true crime , weird life events , anything i will watch a huge video essay about

-languages : my own languages like maltese and spanish but also i learn languages from my friends from those countries like chinese and i learnt some tagalog and my filipina friend taught me even more , i love the phillipines mythology most too i love the manananggal i have a whole book just based on filipino myth

[toruro]

STOP IT well wanna Know smth a little funnier idk if u watch slash or like jjk but somehow some way that thought came from nanami WHICH IS WEIRD even for me bcs i dont even like him like THAT but i was like wait a minute this is so minghao coded and then it just unraveled from there …so i guess someway somehow we can thank nanami i guess

and yes omg ok :3 i dont know if my mind will be able to produce minghao thougjts that frequent so youre good But yes i dont expect u to answer much less write for them Just have fun (but im not complaining if u ever do [again, floored]) but have fun with them when they do come i guess 🤗

💿💿❤️‍🔥xx🫂🎱

HELP BC WHY WAS I READING A NANAMI SMUT THIS MORNING💀 i am seeing the image though. [crawls into a hole. i don't need more fandoms to write for ..,, i say this as i write an osamu smut] but omg ok i will be excited 2 see what u come up w hehe

#✰ 💿 anon #answered

[four-blue-eyes]

I kind of feel like I need to vent about a friendship that's been making me feel weird lately. Feel free to skip, i just need to get these thougjts out.

I haven't made a ton of friends since graduating and moving to a different city last year, but I've made a friend recently who is fun to hang with sometimes but then other times it just feels weird. I think that even though we're both neurodivergent (and typically that makes for a great friendship for me) we're just on different wavelengths. They handle their anxiety and their ADHD in a way that just makes me feel more stressed, and they are also more loud and hyperactive then me, i'm just more introverted i guess? which kind of makes me feel like I'm idk boring i guess? Like I'm not as excited as them. But when there is something that I get excited about and I do start bringing that energy it kind of seems like they don't care, especially if it's something they aren't also interested in. And in general I feel like they don't care about my interests unless they're aligned with theirs. (I've also noticed them doing this with some other people in our friend group, they often complain about our other friends being vegan) It just makes for a stressful and exhausting/unfullfilling experience when we hang out. And I don't know how to navigate this friendship or exit it altogether without being toxic, which is also stressful to me cuz I don't want to be mean. BUT the flip side of that is being aware that my friend is being kind of toxic too and I shouldn't have to put up with that. Like I constantly find myself apologizing when it feels like I've annoyed them and I HATE myself for doing that. Idk. I just needed to vent about that I guess.

[sevicia]

While I feel the exact same way myself re:your last vent post, I have to say I find it absolutely baffling when you a post a selfie and then something like that. Sure you're not showing your whole face, but what I can see is flawless. I can't for the life of me figure out what you dislike about it. I wish I looked like that. I'm not just being nice it's borderline annoying when people so attractive think so lowly of themselves 😭 no shade tho keep your head up king

GIRL WHAAAAAAT UM. Idk how to answer honeslty cause i dont wanna sound like a broken record, BUT i think of myself that way because of the way ive been treated.... im sure if i wasnt treated that way id be a LOT more confident cause you see it in other people who dont fit the attractiveness standard and theyre like Yeah im the shit!!!! Idk where im going with this LOL but thank you???! And i understand the annoyance thing cause i too find it annoying, i just genuinely dont think of my self as attractive so i never thougjt itd be appliwd to me TT

#AND UM trust me the mask makes a WORLD of a difference... i dont wanna be rude and dismiss what you said but #it realky does TT

[waterberry-strawmelon]

It makes me kinda upset when people try to prove that two people are in a romantic relationship because ‘you don’t care about a friend that much. Checkmate.’ Like, how much do you care about your friends? Are you serious? Because I actually CARE about my friends and would absolutely mourn them like a goddamn lover if they suddenly died.

This is part of what’s so difficult for me when there’s queer subtext for two characters of the same gender. Although I want that representation for them and it may very well work best narratively for them to be in a romantic relationship, please don’t soil friendships by saying ‘no one could possibly care about their friends that much without having a crush on them’ because that’s so fucking false and it’s a shitty reason to support queer rep and it’s shitty ‘evidence’ of a ship being real. It’s not the concept of shipping that annoys me, but the way it’s done, the way it’s used to undermine genuine platonic love that does actually fucking exist in real life, by the way, and is just as important as romantic love.

Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk. (If I accidentally said something that came off as homophobic in any way, let me know. I really want it to be known that I absolutely advocate for and want so badly for gay relationships to be mainstream in media, but I also want people to understand that friends are allowed to care for each other on super deep, personal levels.)

#captain marvel is a huge example of this #because narratively it is obvious that she should be romantically involved with maria #and its stupid to outright deny that they had any chemistry (like dude............ those were definitely a couple of Married Wives we saw) #but to justify it by saying like ‘no one would mourn like that for a friend’ is fucking disgusting to me #yknow.... as person who has friends? like how is that not a stupid thing to say #i just dont like it when people rule out the possibility #like sure most people dont platonically raise a kid together but does that mean no one does? no! of course people do that!! #and these are just some super specific examples #i have so many more #but this has annoyed me for YEARS #like........ even when i still thougjt i was allo #which shouldve been kinda telling #me being like ‘why doesnt anyone just raise a kid with their friends? thatd be nice’ #lmao its always weird seeing how obvious this stuff about me is in hindsight #but im getting off track here so sorry about that #tldr: im sad about friendships being undervalued but no i dont think queer relationships should be shoved aside and masked in platonicism #(is that a word? idk) the way that they so often are #just some thoughts #mine #just please dont come into my inbox to yell at me. im not in a good enough plsce tk handle that rn

[okresett]

I just rewatched Druck S1-4 and idk...

it just feels so much more...expensive???

The dialogues have so much more thougjt put into them, the locations , the colour grading of the scenes, the clips are longer, theres so much more detail , every little thing has a meaning, the songs are integrated into the acting... also the actors seem to be so much more experienced... dont get me wrong the actors of the new gen are great it just seems that they werent really directed in a way that they could reach their enormous potential...

Next gen seems just a bit cheap... i cant really explain... do you feel the same?

#druck #druck hannah #druck s2 #druck ismail

[birdhug]

thougjts? all of them, this is a stickup. what do u have thoughts on

WHAT

idk i’ve been thinking a lot about mindfulness lately. i found a journal entry from a year ago that was like “today i made a phone call and went driving even though i was anxious! and i practiced breathing and meditation” and i was like… Damn! those things used to really shake me up until very recently. but after 1 year and plenty of meditation, a wellbutrin dosage adjustment, exercise and forcing myself to engage in hobbies, and a shit ton of self acceptance and probably a million other things im not taking into account im like … not freaked out anymore. by any of that stuff. and in general . im currently a lot happier and more stable and more confident and it’s Just nice. bc 2021 was a SHIT!!!!! time

also intrusive thoughts used to be my biggest obstacle and i still Get them but after learning cognitive defusion instead of being like “wtf why am i having this thought fuck i hate intrusive thoughts” i’m like “ah there’s a thought.” idk how to explain it. i think a big difference is that i know that i am Not my thoughts and feelings, i’m just in possession of a central nervous system that produces these thoughts and feelings outside of my control. and that’s fine. i Can control my actions however and that’s the only thing that really matters ultimately

[blurays]

.

i want to die im so angry theres no point anymore as in theres Really no point what is the point when theres something inside of you that will always keep you miserable i could be famous and rich and successful and loved and have everything i ever dreamed of and i would still feel fucking mangled and stupid i am so tired of feeling like a fcking moron because my fucking brain doesnt Work Right and im supposed to be like Happy that its temporarily not killing me right like i used to be like Okay it could be good one day if some stuff was fixed i could be happy but it will literally always be like this for me i mean the best case scenario is that i get happy and then die lol but thats literally not even worth thinking about because i will always be permanently messed up bc of this i guess no one really bothered to think about if i Wanted to be alive after all this shit lol . even now ppl have the nerve to Ask if i have thoughts of suicide like IDK lets put u thru a lot of ptsd inducing procedures that leave you scarred and stupid but actually dont even assure you wont die before ur 30 thatll still happen now lets see if u have thougjts of suicide. i dont have to kill myself my body is doing that for me but i am wondering why i bother when literally all i experience is suffering i dont remember the last time i was happy lol and my problems are in fact unfixable they sent some genetic test to see what drugs will work on me and i asked for like whatever therapy they can come up with but idk how anyone or anything is going to convince me that its worth it to live as like a shell of a person whos in constant pain nd misery nd like ?? so i can achieve what.. im not gonna have a gf or friends or a job or any of that like why am i fucking doing this anymore im just on autopilot taking all the meds and shots and whtever but i want to just be like i dont care anymore just let it kill me you already did

after two years everyone tunes you out but i am about 100x more miserable than i was at the start of this things have only gotten worse the only difference is even my oncologist doesnt care im suffering anymore

[satosgu]

my jjk crushes are noritoshi + yuuta + naoya + choso 😌 [ i think ? i don't remember them all myself </3 ]

NORITOSHI TASTE i love him and his side ponytails (??????) IDK HOW U CALL but he is very pretty i like his voice archery is very cool so I think he would have nice hands 👍👍

YUUTA AND CHOSO R ALL VERY LOVELY icu like the dark haired more stoic type

Ignoring n*oya I THOUGJT I cld trust u 😩😩😩😩

#khan 🍂 #I’m kIDDING NA oYA #HAS NICE EYELINER #redeeming trait I thnk🤔🤔 #IHAVENT EVEN READ VOL 0 YET I JUST THINK YUUTA IS CUTE 😭😭 #THE NORITOSHI MEGUMI FIVHT WAS SO FUNNY #“we r the same’ ‘we aren’t’ ‘we are’ ‘we aren’t’ 😭😭

[joppin]

♧ only if u want to ofc !!!

You’re my: bestie forever-oomf bloved

How I met you: u joined my very first mutuals server

Why I follow you: in 2018 for kurapika related reasons

Your blog is: SO COOL!

Your URL is: i thougjt it meant like. idfk but i read it wonho two like a sequel idk

Your icon is: kurapika?

A random fact I know about you: you would kill a dude for free & love violence

General opinion: i love you more than life itself

A random thought I have: :D 💗

#sorry about that random fact i eas going through funny shit thats been pinned in a few servers ant that one stuvk with me

[queencryo]

aaaaaa im worried about getting this project done in time. eighteen days til the deadline, and i still have two other lasses to worry about. all the parts arent even in yet!!!!

im definitely learning a lot, im just scared i aint learning fast enough to get it done, ya know?

on the bright side, i think ive at least figured out how to solve ny current-driving issue. By using BJTs on the cathode-side of each LED (which will be connected to the rows of the matrix), anx ensuring thay the maximum current through any oke column is less than 4mA (the max current esch pin of ny shift registers can sink), i can just route current through the column SR pins. thay way, i onky need 64 ransistors total. andddd while writing that i had more thougjts amd im not sure anymore. i guess what i need rn is to measure how differently, say, .4mA and 4mA looks on our LEDs. ... im sure itll be p different, but i hope not?

beginning to think maybe a 64x64 LED matrix was kind of ambitious in itself, much less using it to maje a chessboard.

also, if u are friends w me and or follow this tumblr, i am sorry. i am literally just transcribing thoughts thay happen into whateber text box or paper is in front of me, and idk if thatll change anytime soon. so.. sorry!

and ah godddds i cant even start outti g thinfs together until the leaded solder comes in, because unleaded is too for my 8x8 matrices... the one i did a few nights ago is xomplerely fried, useless now. sob

#blog #engineerig #engineering