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okyio-archive · 6 years

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hey guys !! im so sorry for being absent for so long :+( !! it’s been a crazy couple of days and i really needed to recover after everything that has been happening. again i just want to say thank you for everyone who has been so patient with me. i’m going to clear these anon msgs + i’ll respond to all my private msgs&discord chats + check out what i’ve missed once i wake up tomorrow. i love you guys sm for showing love + support. i wish you a happy thursday :+)

sims related

Would u ever do an editing tutorial? like how u draw little doodles and stuff like that! If it's not too much fo a hassle. love you SO MUCH!! <3

hey nonny :+) please check the faq next time !! I’ve answered how i drew the little doodles there but for a full blown tutorial i’ve already mentioned that i’ll do one once i have more free time :+) !! thanks for the support love !!

What are your favorite brushes for edits?

i recently found one right over here :+) and i’ve been experimenting w/ em !! tbh i dont have a fav cause im always trying out new brushes out + seeing which ones i like !!! so im sorry if that doesn’t answer your question asjkdhf

hi!!! hope you're having a good day!! is it okay to use the sims from your sim dump in a story as long as you get credit? if not i totally understand!

thanks nonny for asking :+) !! yeah definitely !! you can do whatever you like w/ them !! i would love to see so feel free to @ me :’+) have fun and tysm for using my sims :’+)!!

personal questions

Can i be your friend?

ofc nonny :+) !! ill prob reply slow af but i promise you that i would love to make friends :+) so hmu whenever you feel comfortable !!

How do you deal with perfectionism? Or what ever that word is????

honestly, tk wrote a perfect post outlining what she does and it helped me out a lot as well !! so check her post out + hopefully it can help you a bit too :+) if you ever need someone to talk to, im here :’+)

would it be ok if I asked u for friendship advice?

ofc nonny :+) !!! just hmu off/on anon in my inbox or pm if you wish :+) im always willing to help as long as you’re a little patient w/ me since i reply quite late haha but im always here to listen + give my 2 cents :+)

I find it so hard to study, I get distracted so easily and sometimes it isn’t my phone :(

awh man nonny i know what you mean. i struggle w/ studying a lot and i’m a uni student haha. besides the typical tips you can find online, what i found is this app called forest (it’s on ios + android devices!!) to help me stay on task (whether it’s studying/chores). check out more information here. it’s been honestly helping me a lot + who doesn’t like plants???

I don't know who to tell this to and you seem really kind: I'm the pickiest eater I've ever met or heard of. It's just NO most food is disgusting it just makes me wanna barf. And everyone treats me like a 4-year-old child. Nothing cheers me up anymore. I think I have selective eating disorder and nobody understands :( People are being mean to me all the time because I don't like certain foods and maybe I AM just a 4-year-old child. I need help and comfort :( Because being a picky eater is hard.

awh nonny first thank you for telling me about that :’+) im really sorry if im replying this super late asldkjf. i honestly really appreciate that you opened up to me about it okay? i know this can be difficult since it’s smt so personal. i want to let you know right now that i’m always here for you + supporting you okay? i know it’s difficult when your surrounding group of people don’t understand / support. although i haven’t personally dealt with this, i would suggest finding a professional + see what their take on it? if it’s to the extent that certain food makes you barf, it’s def more than just “wow ur picky” yeuno? cause you physically can’t eat smt without barfing it all out. seek a professional when you’re more comfortable okay? you dont have to do it now but baby steps!! remember you’re not alone, im always here for you oaky nonny :+) every step of the way!! lmk + update me okay? i’m wishing you luck ily !!

my moms having her 4th child and like im really nervous abt it cause this is the first time im actually old enough to like remember it and take care of him and like im scared

!! nonny thank you for coming up to me + telling me about it - i honestly really appreciate it :’+) !! first of all: congrats !! i know things will definitely be different since there are responsibilities to deal w/ and added stress but remember !! to take it slow okay? it’s 100% okay to make mistakes. it’s 100% normal to feel overworked. there will prob be more little arguments here and there since everyone will be quite restless + more irritable but take it slowly + (literally) baby steps okay? if it gets too much for you, take a breather and come back to it. im sure your mom will understand if it gets too much for you. and besides - im here supporting and rooting for you too nonny :+) !! i honestly cant imagine taking care of another human being at this age either - heCk i can’t even take care of myself askdjhf but remember it’s a learning curve!! it’ll take awhile + there will be a lot of obstacles to huddle through but it’ll be rewarding okay? again, if u ever need someone to talk to, im always here :+) !! ily nonny!! stay strong

Hi! I'm really sorry to bother you rn, but I just really, REALLY miss my dog who passed away several years ago. She was like my sister... I related to her more than people & I could always rely on her for comfort. All I want to do is just hug her again, but I know I can't do that. I just can't move on. I love her so much. I'm sorry, but I need to tell this to someone, ANYONE, because it's really been keeping me down lately...(dog death anon cont.) I've been seeing a therapist since she's died, and I've been on several medicines which DO help, but only to a certain degree. I realize there's a certain part that I, myself, need to control (ie moving on). but like I said, it's hard. I haven't told anyone this, because I'm afraid of looking stupid for letting my dog's death get to me this much that it's required hospitalizations and such. I just want to see her again. (end)

!!!!! asdf you’re never a bother nonny !! dont ever thing that alright? i’m always here for you ready to listen no matter what (i’m just a super slow replier so i apologize for that askdhf). but first thank you for coming to me + telling me about your personal problems - i honestly appreciate sm. i’m honestly so sorry nonny... i can relate to some extent because i got my dog when i was in gr 7 and he was my only friend who i can go to to feel love + comfort up since i’ve been bullied since elementary school & never really had friends. i can’t imagine what you’re going through .. i’m honestly so sorry. don’t think that you’re stupid at all okay? i’m the last person on the earth to ever think you are. i’m glad you’re seeking a therapist right now !! however, i 100% understand if it’s difficult to move on - cause it is!! my grandpa past away 10 years ago and he was one of my best friends and he was really the only “father figure-like” role model i look up to. till this day my heart aches thinking about my grandfather and how much i miss him. similarly, i would definitely feel the exact same way w/ my dog if he passed away because i treasure him sm. so don’t be too hard on yourself about moving on. i know it’s easier said than done but different people vary on how long they mourn for. some can be 100% okay in a couple months while others takes years - and that’s 100% okay! why? because we’re human. there’s no need to rush in “moving on” - take it in your own pace. i know the pressure / stigma of others thinking you’re “weird/stupid” for being like this state further creates anxiety/stress in “forcing” yourself to rapidly wanting to move on. however, i urge to try your best to ignore what others might think + focus on yourself to the best of your abilities. perhaps distract yourself in finding a new hobby / doing smt that you love or smt new. it takes time to recover - no matter how long you take, no one’s rushing you oke :+)? ill be here every step of the way if u ever need me. it’s okay to have those days where you tried so hard but u end up at point A because after you go through that hurdle, you’ll be closer to your goal. take as long as you need - baby steps nonny :+) i’m here rooting for you oke? i love you so much. you’re a strong sweetheart and i know you can do it.

#mail time #*a #ask #*n #long text #it's 4am i finally finished typing askdjfh #i also made an edit so watch out for that !!!!#im going to bed but ill reply to everyone once i wake up tmr #ily

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vidyullekha-blog · 6 years

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From My Diary

Abhayapradaaya Namah! - Balasubramnayam Karanam

సత్య ధర్మ శాంతి ప్రేమలు జగతికి చాటి చెప్పబూనే సాయివిభుడు సత్యసాయి చూడ సంపూర్ణ ప్రేమయే యగుచు పుట్టే నిచట మొద మలర!

Sathya Dharma Shanthi premalu jagathiki Chaati cheppa boone Sai Vibhudu Sathya Sai Chooda Sampoorna Premaye Yaguchu putte nichata modamalara!

This is a popular poem that Swami used to sing about His advent at Puttaparthi; to reveal the path of human values (Sathya, Dharma, Shanti and Prema) to the world, Sai descended in Puttaparthi in the form of Sampoorna Prema (complete selfless love) to bring Ananda to all.

Mesmerized in His love

Thinking about Swami and Puttaparthi brings memories of my childhood and my student days. Thinking about Swami, I become young. It is indeed the best anti-aging, antioxidant therapy with no side effects. I was born in a small village near Puttaparthi and joined a village school to study up to the fourth grade. Interestingly, Swami Himself had studied in this school as a child. Later, I joined Smt. Eswaramma High School and eventually completed my graduation and post-graduation in Sathya Sai University.

As a child when I used to see Him, what mattered was whether I could see Him. But as I grew up up and became a college student, it was the opposite: was Swami looking at me? Is He aware of my presence in the portico? I was questioning His omniscience. As all of us do, we too did whatever was necessary to get His attention be it singing, reciting poetry, dancing, dramatics - any trick to get His attention. The amazing thing about His attention is that you forget yourself and you become one with Him. This one-to-one, heart-to-heart relationship, which we call ‘devotion’, is the primary reason why millions across the globe are drawn to this pure form of love and cherish every moment of their lives. Swami did not physically travel, but His love travelled across the globe touching every heart that was yearning for Him, waiting for Him.

Bangaru, am I not there for you?

Late one fall evening in 1989, I received a phone call from my elder brother informing of me about the serious health condition of my sister. He asked me if I could inform Swami and seek His guidance and blessings. My eldest brother, a quiet person, had taken over the responsibilities as the head of the family upon my father’s untimely demise. He did not say much over phone and that left me worried and sleepless all night. I requested the warden’s permission and went to have Swami’s Darshan in the morning. As I sat down in the portico Swami came out. I gathered courage, kneeled, held Swami’s hand and poured out my woe. His loving eyes looked deep into mine and He said, “Emi kaledu bhayapadavaddu.” (Nothing has happened. Do not worry.) Then He slowly released His hand and proceeded to shower His grace on devotees. As Swami gracefully glided away, I thought of asking Him for Vibhuti to send it home.

When He later returned with a fortunate group for interview, I went close to Swami and asked Him for Prasadam. Swami looked at me and asked me to come into the interview room. I went inside and sat down along with other devotees. Swami spoke to all of us for about 40 minutes. He materialized diamond studs circulated to all when it came to my hands he jokingly said, “Nee pellam ku teesuko”. (Take it for your wife.) I was worried whether I will get time to talk to Swami about my sister. Suddenly Swami got up and asked me to come into another small room adjacent to the interview room. As Swami sat on the chair I knelt at His lotus feet and told him about my sister’s health. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Our loving mother Sai rested my head on His lap and patting me said, “Bangaru, why do you worry? Am I not there for you?” Then He continued, “Go home today and bring your mother and sister and bring them here for morning Darshan tomorrow. I will cure her.” These nectarine words from the Divine Mother removed all my worries. The loving god then got up, went inside and returned with some money which He gave me for my journey home. I travelled home to see my sister’s condition. She was suffering from Postpartum Depression and was about to get into therapy. I told my brother about my interaction with Swami and we immediately arranged a minivan to be in Parthi the next morning.

The divine cure and domestic advice

As we reached Parthi at about 6.15am I told my family to go the mandir as fast as they could. As for me, I sat in the front line in the portico. Swami opened the door and came straight to me and asked whether my family members had come. I replied that they have. Swami proceeded to give Darshan to devotees and when He returned, He asked me to call them. I could not find them in the sea of devotees, suddenly He came to me in the portico, pointed to my mother in the crowd and said, “Adigo akkada choodu”. (See there.) He asked me to call them.

We went inside the room first and then Swami entered and closed the door. He went directly to my sister and materialized a Shiva Lingam in front of her and gave it to her and told her to perform Abhishekam everyday and partake the consecrated water for seven days. As He went and sat on the chair my mother with tears flowing profusely fell at His lotus feet and said, “You are our god!” He looked at her and comforted her saying He will take care of everything. That made me to realize the meaning of the term ‘Divine Mother’ - a mother who has the capacity to console all mothers on this earth. He looked into my mother’s left eye and said she may need a cataract surgery within a year.

Responsibility of a son

Then He called my brother and told him that Swami is happy with him for taking care of the family, as a responsible son, after my father’s demise. He then gave him an Akshayapatra of Vibhuti. Swami looked at my brother-in-law and told him that, “it is the duty of the husband also to take care of the wife just as she takes care of him when he is ill. The home should not become a war field. Swami, in fact, said “Korean war field”. “Bharya bharthalu tittukuntu lesthey pillallu kottukuntu lestaru.” (If the wife and husband keep shouting at each other children will become violent.)

He told us to keep Him in our hearts and lead a peaceful life. Suddenly my sister asked Swami, “Balu nu meere choosukovali”. (Swami, please take care of my youngest brother, Balu). Swami replied that He will take care of me and that I study M.Sc. at His university. Swami also asked her to take care of her children. Swami gave us Padanamaskar and sent us home. Needless to say, exactly after seven days, her health improved completely.

Pure Love

My sister was unable to get admission into the Anantapur campus after completing her 10th standard in Smt. Eswaramma High School and she used to complain to Him about that. But Swami took care of her when she needed His grace the most. He knows what to give, when to give and how to give because He is always giving and forgiving. And that is pure love.

I am also blessed to have heard some wonderful stories of Swami from my grandmother Vempalli Jayamma, who was fortunate to have been Swami’s classmate in Bukkapattanam School. After marriage Jayamma moved to Vempalli, a small village in Cuddapah district. She lost her husband at a very early age. Swami being an ideal friend and wonderful classmate wrote her a letter giving her confidence and faith to lead her life.

Let His Will Be Done

She was a regular visitor to Puttaparthi and Swami used to give her a silk saree on His birth days. On one occasion I found her missing when Swami distributed the sarees to devotees. On the way back to hostel, I saw her just arriving at Puttaparthi. I told her about how she missed a golden opportunity. Pat came her reply: “Swami eeyyala anukunte nee intikivachchi istadu devudu” (If SAI want to give HE will come to your home and give”). I thought was feeling bad for missing the opportunity and merely putting a brave face.

Next day, during the evening darshan, I was sitting in the portico and was witness to an amazing experience. Swami asked for Jayamma to come to the ladies side of portico. Then, He waited for her with a saree in His hand, as she came to receive it. That incident spoke volumes of HIS love to his long standing devotees and the faith of those devotees who just believed and lived only for His blessings.

Her advice at the time of my joining University still reverberates in my ears. “Swami paramatmudu nayana. ninnu kantiki reppa laga choosukuntaadu” (Dear child, HE is none other than GOD incarnate, HE will take care of you like an eyelid taking care of eye).

Balasubramnayam (Balu) Karanam was born in a small village near Puttaparthi in the family of Sai devotees, is distantly related to Karanam Subbamma’s family. He had a wonderful experience of playing and moving along with Subbamma’s grandsons in the Karanam’s house in Puttaparthi as a child while studying in Puttaparthi. He joined the Puttaparthi village primary school for 4th class, studied in Smt. Eswaramma High school, graduated and post graduated in chemistry from Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, Prasanthi Nilayam (1978-1992). After completing his PhD in India, he joined Johns Hopkins School of Medicine to pursue his research studies in Cancer Biology. Balu was a SSE teacher for group III. He served as the President of Sri Sathya Sai center at Greater Baltimore, Maryland and as Regional Devotional Co-ordinator for the Mid-Atlantic Region comprising New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delware, Maryland and Virginia States. He lives in Auburn, Alabama and currently working as Professor in Cancer Biology, and active member of Sri Sathya Sai Group of Montgomery, Alabama. He is also an active researcher in The Prostate Cancer Transatlantic Consortium (CaPTC), an open consortium comprising a team of prostate cancer scientists, clinicians, survivors, and advocates from North America, Europe, the Caribbean Islands, and West Africa to address the globally disproportionate burden of prostate cancer. Dr. Karanam has been recognized with honors including the award for Excellence in Translational Research by Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. He has published over 41 research papers in the area of Pharmacology, Vaccines and Cancer Therapy in high impact journals. He is also author of 14 international patents. Balu strongly believes that, it is Bhagawan’s grace, and the SAI education at Sri Sathya Sai Higher Learning, loving and selfless teachers at SAI institutions that transformed him from a rural Puttaparthi child to a research scientist today.

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A note on the title:

In the Ramayana, we have the Lord's Assurance (Abhayam sarva bhoothebyo dadaamyethath vratham mama). "I shall be the refuge for all beings; I shall confer on them freedom from fear, this is My resolve". That is why we call the raised Palm with which Baba greets us as the 'Abhaya Hastha'. His picture or a packet of vibuthi from His hand or a talisman given by Him or His name repeated or remembered, has saved devotees from enemy troops (eight of them fled in fear when His picture was held before them by one devotee), from accidents, from fire and flood and bombs, indeed from all conceivable dangers. That is the manual gesture which many idols of the Lord have, in temples. That raised palm prevents evil forces from approaching us; it strikes terror into the enemy. It is a gesture of assurance of grace. Devotees love to pray before that picture, for Baba safeguards them from disease, disaster, despair, doubt and dishonour. The most fell disease from which Baba safeguards us is the disease of being caught up in the cycle of birth and death. In the Gita, the Lord has said, "Give up all your calculations and discriminations between what is wrong and right, what is good and bad. Surrender your judgement to Me; follow My will, My commands; I shall save you from downfall. Do not grieve".

Reference: Garland of 108 precious gems by Prof. Kasturi

Source: http://www.saidarshan.org/cgi-bin/ashto.cgi?27

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