#idk i just go insane over it so much

[spheredotorb]

yknow when he circles his hands around a few times when casting spells or in the star allies skit. yeah

#i really really love it whencharacters naturally utilize floating limbs #in a way thats impossible with regular limbs (on account of the uhh. tangling) #idk i just go insane over it so much #(shouting at an abyss) does anyone get what i mean !!!!!!!!! #sphereart.tiff #kirby #magolor #edit to include the video

[stoopidstapler]

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #adventure time #goin insane over him #thers no words to describe how im feelin #i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE #FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED. #ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO??????? #ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P #IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH #SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP. #also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake #which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk #ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help #ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER. #im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help #maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.

[alfazoings]

angry traumatised sailor women my beloved

#i am so normal about her #i swear #i am not going insane over her #(lie) #i cannot put into words how much ive been thinking ab her #idk if its just me being a lesbian or autism at this point #maybe both! maybe #ishmael lcb #limbus company #project moon

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I FKN LOVE LAUGHING STOCK‼️ THEY MAKE ME GENUINELY HAPPY AND READING THE TAGS MAKES ME A GIGGLY BITCH CUZ THESE IDIOTS ARE SO FLUFFY AND KINGS OF THE MEGA GAY LORDS 😭

YAYAYAYAYAYAY YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!! FLUFFY MEGA GAY KINGS!!! have a warm-up scribble of them co-selling beans <3

#theyre so. THEYRE SO. *rips them apart like chew toys* #for a Moment i forgot which tags you were talking about!!! #this ask was sent several days ago! oopsie! #i say that like i dont have asks from several weeks ago #i will Get There #i like adding scribbles to asks - even low quality ones like this one - but i draw Very Slowly #so it takes me a minute to get around to em #SPEAKING! OF! #this ask originally had a different scribble but i put a liiiiitle too much effort into it #so you'll get it as its own thing tomorrow. i will reference this ask in the caption #anon you and i will nod in understanding across the bar when i post it #scribble salad #rambles from the bog #laughingstock #idk what it is about this pairing that is just So Good and Delight-Inducing #theyre just so silly!!! silly goofy guys! #they must be insufferable to be around!!! #literally ill just be sitting here minding my own business and then i Remember Them #and suddenly im going Hee Hee Hoo Hee and spinning in my chair bc AAAHHHHH THEYRE THE MOST!!!!!! #period lapses of insanity over the goofiest guys in town being in Love

[mugentakeda]

them flip flopping the original roles of this scene is making me feel demented. the added lu ten funeral scene adds the perfect parallel and depth to it: lu ten gave his medal to zuko to serve as comfort and determination to zuko when ozai was mad at him, yet zuko gave it up to comfort iroh after lu ten died. and then sat with him through the funeral when nobody else was. and now zuko's the one heading into what's basically a suicide mission and yet he takes the initiative to console iroh by telling him lu ten would be proud to have him as a father. this is sick work and i'm gonna be haunted by it for the next 30 days and 30 nights

#AND THEN IROH CRIES OVER HIM AGAIN #netflix iroh is a crybaby dad guys. Everything is beautiful. peace and love is everywhere #this is how they say i love you to each other. by saying everything else thats insane in this world except for i love you #and i love how paul acts out this like... completely desolate look on his face when irohs mourning his son/s. like he looks so Not there #idk theres just so much going on here i love every bit of it #natlaspoilers

[panikkar]

thinking about how the three of the biggest relationships in bucks life are pretty significantly tied to helicopters/helicopter crashes,,, (partially inspired by this post by @maygrcnt)

taylor kelly: met her when her news helicopter crash. not the first person he seriously dated but definitely is the most serious romantic relationship he had yknow. can’t forget the whole couch metaphor arc.

eddie: i mean it’s pretty self explanatory but eddie’s helicopter crash when he was in the army caused him to be discharged and forced to be reliant on his family again, which is what made him move to la, where, of course, he met buck. they’re literally thee most important person in each others lives. they’re besties. coparents (when the only help eddie’s had as a coparent is shannon, who left (no hate to her it’s complicated shit and she did die but still she did), and his parents, who were controlling and not what either of them needed and also just generally really shitty to eddie at the time (ESPECIALLY re his parenting). and then buck comes along and like within a year he’s like i trust you with my life and my son and my sons life! after everything!! and puts buck as chris’ legal guardian in his will—) n e ways yeah that but also eddie’s ptsd related to the whole helicopter crash incident was super significant later in their relationship too bc eddie was at his lowest point (a place he’d been before but back then, his wife left him and his parents actively made everything worse instead of helping) and buck just like. steps in WITH eddie and gives him what he needs and like takes care of eddie and chris in they way they both need instead of forcing them into what he thinks they need like eddie’s parents did. yeah. and eddie actually did some healing then unlike the last time. so eddie is easily the most important and serious and intimate (like platonically but also Not) relationship buck has ever had, more so than any of bucks gfs.

and then tommy comes around!!! a fuckin helicopter pilot. he and buck first meet not necessarily in a helicopter crash but in a helicopter. in an emergency situation. and they draw SO MANY parallels between tommy and eddie and taylor (he and eddie have a lot in common like with the whole army and martial arts stuff and they get really close really fast and then BUCK HIMSELF drawing the taylor parallels. literally biting at my enclosure.) and wow! look at that! they kiss (and soon start a relationship) and tommy is literally not only the first man buck has ever kissed, but also the catalyst for buck realizing he’s bi. (or, at least, that those feelings bucks had for men in the past (cough cough eddie) are like mushy romantic/sexual/Very Not Platonic things.) literally even if they just kissed that once and had no relationship past that it’s still a massively impactful (non)relationship for buck!!!

and somehow. somehow the most important relationships in bucks life are all connected to helicopter crashes/emergencies. and they’re only characters who have such big connections to said helicopter crashes/emergencies. and they all have relationships that are incredibly important and impactful to buck. this is literally canon.

#literally going insane over here #IT WOULD BE ONE THING IF HELICOPTERS WERE JUST SOME REGULAR SHIT IN 911 LIKE IDK CONNECTIONS TO VICTIMS OR DISPATCHERS BUT NO #THESE ARE THE ONLY THREE CHARACTERS CONNECTED TO HELICOPTERS LIKE THIS AND BUCK HAS (OR WILL) MADE OUT WITH ALL THREE #wait jfc am i imagining this or did lucy get ‘transferred’ to the lafd helicopter unit or whatever too #i can’t emphasize enough how insane that is #911 could be cancelled by now or be doing circling the toilet like many many shows do so far into their run (which is what s6 felt like #a lil bit to me) but abc took this show that’s past it’s prime running down and they’ve breathed so much life into it!!! #bc they’re giving the characters and their interpersonal relationships the attention that made the show special in the first place (and #also what i think it kinda lost in s6 a lil bit) #god i love this show #911 #911 fox #buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #911 spoilers #911 abc spoilers

[kaladinkholins]

mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *

* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)

and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general

but also like.

theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)

so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.

yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.

smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.

#mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!! #like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other #like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu. #mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed. #to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one #i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.' #and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway #love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety #and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress #LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane #bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all #and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different #idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal #shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

#possramble #ignore this im just babbling but #the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel #and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession #platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together #like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married #convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist #but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain #like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just #the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends #the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me #like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed #the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk #people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!! #but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out #don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck. #i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing. #she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it #and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not. #she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over #like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics #and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with #they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic #it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out #like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched #love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it #anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me #it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3 #it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.

[jaskefer]

Obsessed with the idea of Extraordinary Things being a back and forth between Jaskier and Radovid, with Jaskier trying to draw him out in the first verse, and Radovid finally answering him in the second.

Cause like, with Radovid, Jaskier meets someone who he can't fully read properly. He knows there's something under the front of a drunken, bumbling prince, but he doesn't know him well enough yet to be certain as to what.

So, he tests the waters a bit. throws out a line to see if Radovid will take it—and he does. A little bit. But it's so interesting to me, because it doesn't just feel like Jaskier is trying to nail down Radovid's truth in this verse; it feels like he's injecting elements of his own mask into it, as well.

"Keep your words on ice, your gaze lights the fire. They say 'keep on playing nice,' but I have no desire. Why waste our words when lips were made for extraordinary things? It's not a want, it's a need, it is paying no heed to what others say to sing."

This is Jaskier's read of Radovid as he knows him so far: a man hiding more complex wants beneath the veneer of a drunken party boy. But it's also Jaskier admitting that he knows this about Radovid because he wears the exact same mask himself.

Much like how Jaskier and Ciri speak through Geralt and Yennefer in order to process their own feelings about them later in the season, Jaskier sings through himself in order to comprehend who Radovid is. Jaskier is using the performative persona he's crafted for himself in an attempt to coax Radovid out of his.

All of it leads into the main intention of this song: "The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love. Of them, I've had enough. with you, I am enough." I am tired of having to put up a front. I want to be understood. I think you understand me. Prove me right.

And Radovid sees what Jaskier is doing. He comments on Jaskier's ability to see people for who they are and not who they pretend to be. But there's still more he wants to understand. This still feels like a game, in a way.

It's only after Radovid sees the brutality of Dijkstra and Philippa up close, watches them orchestrate the assassination of the queen and threaten to incriminate him if he doesn't fall in line, that he then grasps the vulnerability in Jaskier's lyrics. Jaskier is also caught between multiple conflicting desires, that of his loyalty to Geralt/Yen/Ciri, and that of his work as the Sandpiper & how said work is backed by his continued commitment to Redanian Intelligence. That internal conflict and the desire to escape it is also highlighted in the song's first verse ("they say keep on playing nice, but i have no desire"). Only after all of this, when true fear begins to take over and the game stops being fun, does Radovid truly begin to truly understand Jaskier.

And so, he seeks him out. And he responds.

“Drop the sweet disguise, your heart’s beating too loud. The fairytales and little lies can’t drown out all the sound.” You were right. I do understand you. I know what you really want, because we're the same. You can’t hide it behind a façade of a song and a story and a persona.

“Take this heart and break this heart for extraordinary things.” I don't know what will become of this, or us. I still don't fully know if we can trust each other. But no one has ever seen me in the way that you have.

It's not a want, it's a need. With you, I am enough.

#angel.txt #the witcher #jaskier #radovid #radskier #meta & theories #angel.doc #twn spoilers #i never wrote my wpb meta so have some extraordinary things meta instead shdfdfddfd #i truly think that first verse is so complex and multi-layered and can be read in multiple ways (both in-universe and externally) #like this is what i meant by 4d chess like how the FUCK can i explain what jaskier's doing in that first verse #its also little things. the background vocals that pick up in the second verse. #the way the second verse is omitted from the diegetic performance of the song which could imply jaskier hadn’t written it at the time #the way that we hear this song over the credits only after they get together in ep 4 and it's an extended version BUT #the extended version is entirely instrumental after the first half ends which also imply that the second half hasn't yet been written #as a whole i think that a lot of twn songs can be read through both internal and external lenses to enhance their existence in the narrativ #the fact that some of them have different names in-universe as opposed to on the ost. the choices they make in diegetic song placement. #im not very inclined in musical terminology but my brain is going insane over what this show does with its songs and how joey himself write #(and tbh i like to think of the sountrack/ost versions of songs as smth separate or alternate from the ones seen directly In the episodes) #idk. just very much intrigued with the idea of this song as a conversation #the entire song being an illustration of the masks they both wear #the truth that lies beneath them‚ and the way they both try to chip at each other until one of them drops it first. #obsessed with certain choices and going a little too insane about them <3

[dailyoyo]

thinking always about the fucking jet set radio sweatshirt xbox avatar also.

now theres no reason to take this seriously at ALL its a fucking buggy xbox avatar award it DOESNT MATTER IT DOESNT MATTER ITS NOT FUCKING REAL. i dont even know if the timeframe would Make Sense or not I DONT KNWO

BUT WHY DID THEY GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO SPECIFY ITS GOJIS. COME ON. ITS GOUJIS SHIRT, SPECIFICALLY? FROM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER? ENJOYED JET SET RADIO ENOUGH TO WEAR A HOODIE OF IT?

Ohhhhhhh grampa you fucking had the spark of free spirit in your eye as a youth but you were a rich dickhead and everything it stood against andso it rotted out of you leaving a hollow in your heart and you think you can put it back by force by tearing it out of everyone else for you to keep dont you. you are your biggest idol's worst enemy and so you have to prove yourself better at any cost by ripping it out by the roots (<- Mod noname is an insane madman ignore my posts.)

#mod noname #okay so the thing is im a sick fuck who loves characters who are awful and i want to pull them open with a seam ripper #to look at the emptiness inside. #This post is about a character who calls himself DJ BIG GOJI #btw just so we're clear i have gotten this level of sickly insane about other jsr characters #(The things going on in my brain about paradox!yoyo's brain are truly deranged.) #but like theyre in the headcanon ouroboros so idk how much it counts #rokkaku is special because i can gnash my teeth over OFFICIAL scraps of overthinking nothing <3 #not yoyo

[mariocki]

Patrick Troughton - billed as Pat - helps the stricken French nobility (and flashes the audience) as Sir Andrew Ffoulkes, a staunch ally of the title character in The Adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel (ITP, 1955 - 1956)

#fave spotting #patrick troughton #the adventures of the scarlet pimpernel #doctor who #classic doctor who #two #itp #itc #1955 #I've had a nice rhythm going lately with pairing a 50 min series (usually The Saint these days‚ tho not for much longer...) with a shorter #25 min one to dip into when I've less time or whatever. with The Adventurer over (adieu and farewell Gene Bradley you insane #multi talented everything) i thought I'd change it up a little and go for a much earlier itc series for a different tone. so early in fact #that they weren't even ITC yet; the company was then known as the Incorporated Television Programme Company‚ ITP for short‚ but be not #fooled; this is in every way the Lew Grade led company that would come to dominate the commercial tv world in the decades to follow #The Adventures of Robin Hood is usually identified as the first ITC production but in fact it beat this series to the screen by only #3 days and the two shows were presumably in production simultaneously. Hood went on to be the making of ITC and Lew Grade and lasted #a whopping 143 episodes over 4 years; Pimpernel made it to only 18 despite being planned as a 39 part series (standard length for these #early itc shows). exactly what went wrong i dont know; Goring was heavily involved in production as well as starring and maybe that played #a part‚ or maybe the popular success of Hood meant this show was no longer affordable. idk im just speculating but from #what I've seen it's fairly fun. starting on ITV just a week after the network commenced transmission‚ it's safe to say this didn't capture #the public imagination like Hood did and it does seem to have been rather forgotten about. Pat is actually a series regular and these #pics come from a few different eps among the first few. he isn't in the very first (nor is the Pimpernel's other faithful companion #played by Anthony Newlands) and i do wonder if that was a pilot (it has Robert Shaw as the Pimpernel's right hand and to my #knowledge he doesn't reappear; he'd make up for it with a starring role in one of ITC's next series‚ The Buccaneers #but yes he's here and he's fantastic and gets to be dashing and heroic (tho never moreso than Goring of course). he's also the one of the #three heroes who best suits the powdered hair look (Newlands looks quite unfortunate). and of course i know what im doing with that #last shirtless pic.. you're welcome Pat girlies (gender neutral) #maybe I'll make another post after I've seen a few more eps but i wasn't going to commit to a Pat post for every episode im afraid

[m0e-ru]

guy who knows krav maga fights himself like a girl

#kys mention #gsa sl au #tohru adachi #shadow adachi #p4 #arttag #boot.tingting #// 'what the fuck does this have to do with the gas station attendant' yeah idk either #// <- insane about it #// really vague shit like super surface level shit with too much context backing it to explain in one go #// theres 459270384 layers to this but i just drew the funny parts dont keep your hopes up guys #// imagine wanting to destroy yourself so much your shadow tells you to stop because maybe you do love the world and the people around you #// that maybe the rogue shadows seek your human body as a vessel instead and accomplish the action of self destruction either way #// self proclaimed adachihater has a one million word essay that isnt exclusive to hating said character #// i havent drawn adachi like this for over a year yeah i think thats the cooldown period goodbye for another days i guess jester bitchboy #// dont ask me about this even loyalty discount customers dont know whats going on with this fucking au goodnight forever

[p4nishers]

there's something about the way maddie was the one who proposed after we know how much her last marriage traumatized her. it's something with her proposing and showing she's completely ready for chim. idk just there could've been an uncertainty if chim proposed bc what if she says yes and regrets it yk?? but this role reversal cleared every doubt out of the way and THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HOW eddie would be probably the one to propose not just because of moving on but bc he'd be actually going after what he wants and i just can't get over how they parallel buddie to literally every romantic relationships on the show.

#this doesn't make a lick of sense but im still half asleep #idk its just like so insane to me that they genuinely could put buddie in any madney/bathena scene and it would make perfect sense #sorry im just so emotional abt maddie finding happiness and love again in chim i love her so much im so fucking happy for her and i #just wish they'll let eddie be with the person he actually wants to be bc he deserves to let go and start over with the love of his life #something something being divorced doesn't make you a failure and there's nothing wrong with moving on. #maddie buckley #chimney han #madney #buddie #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 6x17

[turnaboutchaos]

cannot stop thinking abt how Sholmes subtly cares for ppl so much like... in the middle of the night he sees Gina go out to the pawn shop and watches her to make sure shes ok, and when she doesnt come back he follows her and ends up getting fucking shot in the process. he breaks into the courtroom during the trial the next day clearly very unwell and still aids Ryunosuke all he can before fucking collapsing from exhaustion. turns out he's also been keeping an eye on Gregson to make sure he doesnt get hurt doing his thing, and when he dies hes absolutely beside himself abt it bc he couldnt deduce what couldve happened. he instantly takes up Yujin's offer on taking care of Iris without hesitation and keeps the truth abt her family at bay to protect her. and when Iris does finally call him daddy he bursts into tears on the spot.

like yea hes a goofy eccentric mf whos always doing his own fucking thing but he also really, REALLY cares abt the ppl he loves... funny guy with big heart..........

#im actually going to cry over him #im trying super hard to make cohesive sentences and connecting the dots abt this thought bc its pretty fragmented in my brain but #conclusion: he cares and i uh. dont think he receives any thanks for it???? #this prolly comes off as an insane and not-well-thought-out ramble but bear with me pls. i cant make any sense rn #dgs spoilers #dgs2 spoilers #herlock sholmes #its just. super heartwarming to me. mans needs a hug and thanks fr #like he comes off as a sorta eccentric jerk who cant read the room too well (hence why he ruins so many heartfelt moments) #but all in all he actually keeps a rly close eye on ppl he cares about. not just bc hes a nosey detective or anything but bc he genuinely #cares of them so much like.... #idk man i have. thoughts

[mari-lair]

What’s ur opinion on the whole Teru and kou fight ? Do u think any of them where in the wrong ? ^^

I love it, it’s one of my all time favorite chapters! I will die for the Minamoto bros!

And I think both boys are justified but in the wrong.

Before I get into their fight, is good to remember that their conflict is a follow up to the young exorcist mini arc. The arc that actually had a “proper” resolution, ending with Kou promising to take responsibility and interfere if Hanako proved to be dangerous.

A lot happened after this promise: We got Nene's lifespan reveal, Kou’s promise to always be on her side, his feelings of failure after Mitsuba’s death, which only increased after Hanako called him out for “talking big but having no solutions to offer”, his promise with the second Mitsuba, and much more.

Kou got overwhelmed by it all. So much so, he stopped giving his promise to Teru any thought, something we are explicitly shown in chap 65, where Teru wasn’t even an option when he started thinking about his “top priorities.”

And even more happened after the study camp, so it wasn’t surprising that he decided to side with Yashiro.

But Teru doesn’t know any of that, in his mind, this promise is just as important to him as it is to Kou. He is so confident Kou will keep his word and stop Hanako if he shows signs of being dangerous, that he gives Kou full liberty: He let Kou hang out with Hanako and other ghosts, he even teams him up with Nene when they are searching for a way to the far shore because he believed nothing would make Kou go against him.

Now, Teru is a smart person, but he is also arrogant, so when he comes to a conclusion he always assumes he is right.

He never asks Kou anything because he assumes Kou understands Hanako crossed the line by destroying the yorishiros, which caused enough damage for the need of a severance and led Aoi to her death, and he will take responsibility for it.

He clearly trusts Kou to keep his word, and the interesting thing about Teru is that as guarded and prideful as he is, when he trusts someone with something, he trusts them blindly. He is genuinely surprised when Kou breaks his promise and points his weapon at him.

Teru is hurt but he remains calm, he acts tired and unamused, almost testing Kou at first. Not taking him serious.

He ignores Kou to run after Hanako. He blocks and dodge but refuses to give Kou a fight. Even when there is no denial Kou is there to stop him, Teru doesn’t raise his voice, looking disappointed and tired. Annoyed at most. 

He acts as if Kou messed up big time, but it's not personal.

He only loses his cool when Kou proudly declares he is on Nene’s side.

Not Teru’s side. Nene’s side.

This is when Teru snaps. Kou may not have thought much about his decision, but this hit Teru hard: There are few people Teru genuinely cares about, and even fewer that he trusts. 

Watching the unshakable truth that his family will always be by his side be proven wrong messes with both Teru’s feelings and his ego.

Teru have every right to be angry here. Kou didn’t take Teru’s feelings into consideration at all when decided to side with Nene, so it can easily feel like he doesn’t need Teru anymore. That he doesn’t care. 

But Kou also have every right to get angry.

Teru didn’t bring up their deal, and didn’t mention how this hurt, he stayed on the "high ground" to feel like he have control, so for Kou, his aggression came out of nowhere.

Kou is genuinely surprised by Teru’s change in attitude. It feels like his brother is being cruel for no reason, bringing up his chores and demoting his determination as playing hero just to make him feel bad.

It’s not normal of him, so Kou's first instinct is to blame it on supernaturals. He doesn’t think at any point that he hurt Teru, and he doesn’t assume Teru wants to hurt him either since he knows Teru cares about him, he is just rationalizing as best he can. And the one thing he can’t understand at all is Teru’s attitude with supernaturals.

His unease only turn into anger when Teru snaps that Kou doesn’t understand him, as if Kou should be able to.

But Kou can’t, because Teru never tells him anything. Kou is rightfully angry to be blamed for something Teru brought on himself.

Teru can’t expect to get understanding, sympathy, or anything to help handle his pain when he is the one that doesn’t allow himself to be vulnerable and honest with Kou.

Teru dug his own grave and dragged Kou in it too, even if Teru doesn’t realize it.

Teru built this image of someone ‘unbeatable and reliable’ since Kou was extremely young, he is almost untouchable, someone Kou can’t imagine helping outside domestic tasks. While it doesn’t make Kou’s action any less careless and insensitive, I can understand why he would prioritize those that he had failed before and ‘needs his help’, over Teru’s feelings.

Teru had good intentions when trying to protect Kou but he only fucked up Kou's self-esteem and give him a whole different batch of issues.

Kou hates being pushed away. He doesn’t want to play hero, he doesn’t want to be seen as a useless kid, he never asked Teru to keep him in the dark and protect him. It hurt, to not be trusted with anything meaningful.

He knows taking care of the house is important but he doesn’t want to replace their mom. He wants to be by Teru's side, he wants to be dependable and respected too, which in the Minamoto household heavily connects with being a ‘good exorcist’.

He envies Teru for being a good exorcist.

Why wouldn’t he? Teru is praised and respected, Teru always smiles to not worry Kou, he paints his night patrols as fighting evil monsters, like the heroes on tv, and never vents about his rough nights.

Kou isn't stupid he must know from Teru's fucked up schedule and bruises that being an exorcist isn't easy. But since he isn't shown how it permanently beats people down, he only assumes Teru finds it 'too hard for him', which translated to 'Kou can't take it'.

Teru harsh words also hit were it hurt. It goes straight to Kou’s insecurities.

Teru can be cold but he takes his role as a big brother very seriously, so he understands his decisions had a negative effect on Kou. He is sad about it but he still doesn’t think he was wrong to keep Kou in the dark. So he doesn’t apologize, he tries to share his point of view, no sugar coating so the message sink in.

The problem is that Teru is horrible at words so instead of telling Kou his feelings and worries, try to make his line of thought something easy to follow, he shows it through actions. It feels needlessly aggressive to knock Kou’s staff off his hand and slam him on the train, but it is the way Teru knows how to express himself. It doesn’t make his behaviour any less bad, one of the worst ways to show his point of view on the matter, but is understandable from the way he grew up that this is his first instinct when he want to 'send a message'.

Calling Kou weak isn’t a payback moment or a power play, it’s what Teru genuinely believes in, is something he knows will hurt Kou and he is not happy about it. It’s why he never said it before, is why we can see his distress and frustration from how his mouth was drawn and his eyes are covered.

His attempt to ‘protect’ Kou stunted Kou’s growth as an exorcist and made him weaker than he would have been if he was trained properly.

It was wrong of Teru to make this call, he was insensitive and careless too, he didn’t consider Kou’s feelings at all.

But is understandable. Being weak doesn’t have the same meaning to Teru as it does to Kou.

Teru envies Kou's weakness.

Kou also hid his feelings of inferiority and helplessness from Teru, greeting him with a bright smile, so of course Teru mostly sees the good side of being left behind on patrol: weakness is a lack of shackles, a lack of sleepless nights, and bloody family history.

Being a prodigy ruined Teru’s life. He can be a very efficient exorcist but he doesn’t know how to be a functional human being. A lot of what he did to protect Kou is him projecting, giving Kou what Teru wished he had.

Teru may be proud of his skills, arrogant even, but he knows his deep connection to exorcism made him colder and harder to deal with, alienating him from his peers in a way he didn’t want Kou to experience. He truly believes he is doing the right thing by leaving him in the dark.

He never wanted to hurt Kou. Just like Kou didn’t want to hurt him.

But they did, they both fucked up.

In short: They have a huge communication problem, but they care a lot about each other, and I really need them to have another talk.

#toilet bound hanako kun #kou minamoto #minamoto teru #tbhk #the way this got so long even when i tried to not go in detail over how much they hurt me is baffling #no one have time for this wall of text rip #idk if i could put my insanity about these two into words well #but let it be know they destroy me emotionally cause they care so much but their communication is shit #the realization i did this in one day so is probably far less articulated than imagine just hit me and now i have f e a r s #teru minamoto #character analysis

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

me last night: oh boy, i wonder what wonderfully adventurous and vivid dreams my melatonin gummies will give me this time!

the melatonin gummies: you want uhhhh spiders? giant hyper-realistic spiders ev- just absolutely everywhere? yeah? here ya go

#two unpleasant dream nights in a row lets goooooo #that fuckin Sucked #they were everwhere!!! tarantulas and giant versions of small spiders! #by giant i mean like. hand/face size #eugh they were all bunched up on their webs... horrific #not MY shelob #why was everyone else so chill with it... absolutely insane dream-people.... #i ended up unable to leave the house bc they were over all the doors outside and the awnings and just #die die die im going back to that dream with a flamethrower #absolutely unprompted #i much preferred the other night #where for some reason the backrooms wire/bacteria thing was there??? #idk when i woke up my first thought was 'i wish i had a rocket launcher to blast that thing with' #i crave violence apparently