#i've literally stopped functioning.

[mwagneto]

sorry i can't hang out rn the two men from that 4 year old show kissed and i literally cannot think about anything else. yeah gonna be all month

#good omens #gomens #crowzira #deleted messenger haven't talked to any of my irls in a week #lowkey hate how nice it is to get a break tbh like oh my goddd im in the mental illness zone do NOT talk to meeee #it feels mean but also I've spent basically every second since September hanging out with #1 - 10 people near constantly. i need some downtime. although by downtime i did not #imagine stopping all human functions and just becoming a vessel for an engless loop of g0mens thoughts #not even true i CAN talk to ppl but only if it's someone that knows how ill i am or if it's #about g0mens. otherwise leave me alone #like i can literally only talk in terminally online tumblr terms rn i can barely remember hungarian #MY ASS LITERALLY GOT FACTORY RESET TO MY TERMINALLY ONLINE SELF😭😭 #not true coz back when i used to be this online i still talked to irls. mostly to get them to watch whatever i was watching but still #im gonna hang out with some tumblr mutuals who are just as ill as me soon. so that's something #idk how the fabric of budapest can handle that much mental illness in one room but whatever #ineffable husbands #i misspelled it.

[reitziluz]

Hey! For the ask meme- 18 and/or 19, for Vaal?

18. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

weirdly enough. the fact that e actually fucking loves to thrown down. for a long time i approached em as someone who is fully pacifist, just a ray of sunshine, friend to all kittens etc. it felt wrong, but the thought of em being angry and vengeful felt more wrong. eir thing is like, growing and learning to be a person and reclaiming a life for emself. but actually going on 1v1 on dragons and shit is something e misses from eir former life. and if e had been able to live the childhood e was denied, it would have 100% involved chokeslamming a sibling more than once.

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

again skipping story event stuff. despite the moth theming, vaal isn't a moth. or even an insect. e actually has eight limbs. there's the humanoid arms and legs. then there's the wings, that could be mistaken for insect wings, but are actually some real magical bullshit. e has a flight mode e can shift into, so the wings aren't present all the time, and more like jets of magic anyway. but! there actually are two small modified limbs on eir back! like rudders! so that's six, right? but surprise! e also has praying mantis like limbs on eir hips!

so technically our buddy is an arachnid! :D

(also a more meta favorite fact is that vaal is my oldest oc that's still active. i should redraw the first design and put it next to the current one, and list the biggest similarities and differences, because it would be hilarious)

#igotasked #depending on the whims of the narrative #e might get to chokeslam eir brother after all dgsdgdfs #also yeah the mantis limbs don't really show much #but here's the thing #i've actually been making them larger and more functional in recent designs #but also. especially talking about how eir old uniform looks #it includes boots. sabatons. in a human foot and ankle shape #e does not have human ankles and feet #eir prison was the demand to pass as a human #even after being able to stop literally tying the mantis limbs down #e's so used to folding them up that e needs some intense physiotherapy to get their full range of mobility back

[aberooski]

If I take a second to breathe and think and 3 seconds into it someone calls me over the radio to come clean something they could do themselves again I'm going to actually scream

#like god I knkw I'm the only usher here rn cuz im the opening usher on saturdays but FUCK #give me a second tk fucking BREATHE #I HATE when I'm doing something and one of the managers calls and is like actually can you stop what you're doing even though what you're- #-doing is more important and come sweep up this like 3 cernal popcorn spill literally right next to us that we could get ourselves but won' #I hate this job so much I want to quit so bad #somebody else hire me right now so I can leave this shithole #and also have a real job that pays mlre than 10 bucks and hour so I can actually pretend to be a semi functional adult #I can't even pretend right now #I've been stuck in limbo for the last 2 years at least and I really don't know how I'll ever get out #I probably won't let's be honest because I wasn’t born into a world where that's possible anymore #and my mental health has only been slowly but surely deteriorating for even longer than that but it's really crashed and burned lately #but i'm trying #and I honestly don't want to try anymore #I'm so tired

[nygleskas]

me vs watching a hbo show about rich siblings trying to take over their fathers business and instantly falling in love with the shunned family member who's just a silly little guy who also tries to commit blackmail whos name starts with a G

#.txt #i knowww i've made a post like this b4 but i can't find it rn bc the search function sUCKS so i'm reposting. #i can never compare my f/os enough i think its so funny how they're kindasorta similar #WAIT THEY ALSO HAVE A UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH A COWORKER/FRIEND (SCOTTY/TOM) HELP #ineed to make some gideon gifs There's like 4 out there in the world . also hi amber :3 #also i think i immediately loved gideon by the 2nd ep (he's like. properly introduced) and i literally started scn bc i saw a greg fancam #on twitter and qrtd it saying And i quote “idk who this bitch is but hes my boyfriend now” and i started it the next day #bc i couldn't get that fancam out of my head wKSNH #I LOOKED UP THE TWEET AND MY IMMEDIATE REPLY WAS “HE'S LIKE IF SHANE M.AD/EJ + DA/VI/D DA/STM/ALC/HI/AN WAS HOT” WJGSLHNJS???? #AND ALSO “He's 6'6 i'm thinking” byeeee #sorry for being annoying in tags again im stopping

[sysig]

Ughhhhhhh

#I just......wanted to work on some new video editing techniques.......... #Spoiler: It went........so fucking bad lol #Like restart my computer because it basically stopped functioning bad #That seems like a non sequitor but believe me getting from A to Z was an awful ordeal #I've been curious for a while if I could sync up my footage to the audio - y'know cut the video up in time with the music! Classic #Normally I'd fall back on WMM but it has this annoying desync glitch(?) where it renders everything correctly but previews it out of time #So trying to line up the visuals to the audio - well I have to restart and listen through everything so far for it to align properly :/ #Lightworks is being a bitch as well - I guess it just stopped?? having a feature that it had a couple years ago that controls clip length #So I get random-length clips! That I can't stretch or extend! Y'know - The Thing I need to do! #I also tried Openshot and by about the point the advice had me changing my security settings I noped out #Literally would crash if I tried to import one (1) .png >:P #And I'm not about to give my info to Yet Another freeware like DaVinci Resolve since it went So Well with Lightworks #Didn't stop me from downloading and installing the wrong version for like an hour which Greatly lagged out my computer #And then as said it was the wrong version even if I did have access to it so I wouldn't be able to use it anyway! #How come we have such good opensource video capture and streaming software like OBS #And like LibreOffice for word processing and Audacity for audio and just - so many good opensource programs! #But video editing is a step too far #Ugh #Today's been a wash >:/ #At least my uptime is all shiny sparkly new for streaming maybe tomorrow lol #I dunno it depends on how sleep goes - y'know how it is after being frustrated for so long #I really wanted to! I wanted to do a lot of things >:( #I'll see how it all goes #Guess I'm going back to WMM - ugh - once I've properly cooled down and Actually Prepared for the slog #If anyone has any video editing software recommendations I am all ears tho #Obviously not any of the ones mentioned here as they Did Not Work lol #I just want........an intuitive place where I can drag-and-drop images and be able to crop their length up or down to the audio #Hell I'll take a patch for the desync if such a thing exists lol - looks like it's been a problem for like 10 years! Hgg #I just want to Make Thing In Head happen! It is not a lack of will! I am 100% blaming my tools on this one lol #I'm an amateur video editor I have the right to be whiny! I want a tool that isn't hell to operate! JFLHFJKLFHIOSEJF Anyway lol

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

When you're on a time crunch but your (presumably) ADHD brain decides "fuck you I want to write"

#and NO this is not a time crunch I can be flexible on and YES I literally have to do it and NO there's nobody here to help #we've established I function best under pressure BUT APPARENTLY THIS ISN'T PRESSURE ENOUGH #kill me #also I have like. 2-3 days min 2 weeks max to somehow get my dog to walk well enough on a leash that he won't pull on distractions #harder than it sounds #especially because I'm working off of YT videos without help #(I'm trying to look at trainers for help but A I will be completely alone in paying those expenses for a while) #(and B I don't know where to look except for local pet store that we don't have the gas to spare to drive to rn) #vent in the tags #umm yeah #I'm fine this is fine everything's fine #I want to stop existing and sit in bed chewing on peanut butter and doing nothing all day #but I'm determined to kick SAD in the butt this year (also my half-brother will get on my ass if I do that) so FUCK IT #I've taken my dog out and am trying to find someone to VC/call and am writing instead #FFFFFF #*dying*

[lindira]

I wrote around 1600 words in my new BG3 fic yesterday! Yay!

I'm trying to write now and I'm falling asleep because I stayed up too late last night (and every night for the past 4 months...) playing BG3. Boooooo...

#i honestly think i got more sleep when my kiddo was a newborn #i cannot get my brain to stop hyperfixating enough to allow me to be a functional adult #i mean i've always managed with sleep deprivation really well #but this is probably not good for me #also i wanna write and not fall asleep while i'm writing #I'm literally falling asleep while writing these tags #off to take a nap i guess #lindira rambles

[myatlantispoets]

The sheer audacity of this woman

#'stop using your meds as an excuse' GIRL WHAT. YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT. #and the fact that we weren't even fighting when she said that. this was her being 'nice'. and yet. #she thinks she's being funny (she's not) when she tells me that my taking a nap means i'm lazy #even tho it's literally easter day. and she's on the couch watching tv #as if i didn't repeatedly explain to her that i've been off my stabilizer for like a week and it's causing my depressive symtoms to #worsen #which includes fatigue #and even if i wasn't depressed this is my room. ur practically a guest here. this is easter and i have a break after a month and a half of #school. if i want to take a nap i will #i am tired okay. idk how to function properly these days. what am i supposed to do sleep with one eye open when she's here #venting #personal

[paganinpurple]

AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED

Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.

It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:

As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.

If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.

No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).

Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.

There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.

For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.

The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.

Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.

If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.

Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.

Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.

People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.

Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.

Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.

It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.

The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.

I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.

I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.

#ao3 #using ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #fanworks

[anethum-etcetera]

.

#i wish i had any fucking chill at all #i am so fucking aggressive about how i feel and i fucking hate it #every single part of me wants to break everything around me and scream and cry until my throat is raw #over literally nothing. #this time over stupid video game #once over an argument in my head #sometimes over a conversation going poorly #and instead of the catharsis of busting my knuckles and skull open and breaking my teeth on every object in a 10 ft radius #i break one thing i dont have the time or energy to fix right now. and feel like shit about it. #so now im sitting here writing this out and shaking like a fucking nervous mutt trying my best to...what exactly #minimize property damage #try to impose discipline #act like i have any control over how my body functions #the dumbest part of this is now i have a pretty decent idea on how to repair joycons and procontrollers and how to troubleshoot and #what bits need to fit with others and what specifically is annoying to put together. i wonder if i would have more control if i #didnt enjoy putting stuff back together. its almost like a sick incentive. like i act like garbage and then fix it and get dopamine about it #i need therapy. moreso i need someone to talk at i think. i wanna get drunk and complain and not have to act like i have a plan #biggest thing is i cant sleep. but fixing that is the plan i still dont have and at this point may never achieve. i feel like a failure. #fuck #at least I've stopped shaking and now am just depressed. maybe i should just play games i don't think about until side order comes out. idk

[nexus-nebulae]

man what the hell are you supposed to do when you've been traumatized by rejection enough that you assume you're going to be rejected in every scenario possible so you just don't bother doing anything because it always goes wrong

#i need to STOP THIS i need to FIX THIS #it's just i feel like i NEED to have someone else guiding me through this at least a LITTLE #someone that reassures me that I'm okay and people don't all fucking hate me for every single thing i do #it's just every time i THINK I've found that person it's always ended HORRIBLY #literally four times in a row #i haven't had a decent human connection since i was like 14 i don't know what to DO #I'm so fucking scared of reaching out i NEED someone to come to me WANTING to help BUT HOW DO I FIND THAT #like it doesn't work if someone just says 'hey if you need to talk we can' i have to be FORCED to talk #i genuinely have to be dragged into a conversation forcibly because i DO NOT have the ability to function in one normally #i need to stop getting overwhelmed with the feeling that i just need to remove myself from every possible space #but I've literally never had anyone take the time to reassure me that i belong ANYWHERE #i have no communities I'm in i have no friends i have literally no communication with anyone but my mother #i just don't even try anymore #but genuinely how do i find someone who's willing and wants to put in the work to just be FRIENDS with me i can't even have that #I've literally been actively dropped by everyone i know i don't know what to do anymore i just don't

[pussy-ache]

the funny part is that none of this would have happened if he had listened to me and not treated me so special lmao

#what was the point of all the rules if we're just gonna throw em out the window #there was LITERALLY a rule about jealousy lmaoo and i remember very clearly laughing @ it at the time #cuz i know jealousy. i've lived in jealousy. you can't control jealousy by making a rule that's like nO jEaLoUsy!11!1! #the only thing that stops jealousy is truly. simply. cutting it the fuck out and letting it go #if you're able to be happy for someone in a real way jealousy cannot foster -- if you fake it jealousy will follow. it's simple but it's no #then there was a long conversation after that. i was trapped in that bar with them for like 5 HOURS talking this through #like babe. babe. you literally said yourself that you don't want it to end. so figure it out and get back to me. like what #i'm not being trapped in another meeting again and i'm not attending anymore weird ass functions where i'm being appraised #absolutely nothing has changed since i had last seen her besides the number of tattoos i have #which she also commented on in a weird way and i bit my tongue so bad. #i will say that biting my tongue and refraining from mentioning how much he liked my tattoos and which ones are his favorite made it click #the second i decide that i don't like the person i'm becoming or have become because of this will be when i choose to leave #if it doesn't end on their terms prior #the fact that i only thought of saying that for a split second and then OVERWHELMINGLY decided against it means i am still Me #and i haven't been compromised by it yet #i think it was an (understandable) projection of an insecurity because i know she knows he likes them #but i could have said it. maybe a lesser person would have. also maybe don't comment on another persons body #i miss the years of this when it WASN'T a big deal and it just came and went. like this was so simple for so long #it's wild to me that the entire thing could end #because she threw a fit like a child like i heard the details and i'm on her friends side lmaooo treat him better please #i've been observing these patterns of behavior for a while and they're clearly in love with each other #but only fall together once a year. i find that interesting #i think it shows a weird commitment on her end cuz her husband travels and she could theoretically fuck her best friend whenever she wanted #but she stays loyal and only stays within the confines of the agreement itself and i've always liked that #although i wonder if that's cuz she's afraid to commit to her friend in case the friendship is compromised #psychologically i've always found this whole thing fascinating and there's a part of me that loves it simply because of that #i like observing patterns of behavior especially when it comes to love/sexuality and how it's expressed #this is lowkey a little experiment for me and always has been. the ethics behind it are questionable and i know this #which is why it's up to them to clearly communicate with me when they're ready to draw the line. i have no personal stake in this. #i can't decide for them that enough is enough. i'm not doing that to him tbh. i care about him too much to not hear out a resolution first

[no-one-hears-me]

I don't understand how people get excited to start college

#even as a freshman I didn't wanna go #i knew it was gonna be rough #and I enjoyed hs ngl. I just knew college was gonna be bad #and it was! hate that place #it literally ruined my personality and I actually am upset about that #I used to be soooo funny and cool. but being absolutely exhausted and miserable constantly drained the life outta me #then I also got very deep into ed behavior which also drains all the energy and personality away #it's weird to talk about ed things bc like. I think of that as a relapse but I never recovered #I have had this for years now and have never stopped. it's still very present #it just doesn't consume me as much at certain times ig. so when it becomes a very big focus I think of it as a relapse #when in reality. my behavior hasnt really changed. I just spend way more time thinking about things #honestly my current situation is worse than it was before. now I'm running more than before while eating less most days #I'm gonna be honest. idk how my body does this #the amount of energy I expend vs the amount I consume. very disproportionate #I also have been sleeping less recently and I normally don't sleep much sooooo that's not great #where is my energy and ability to function coming from? I don't have much to burn up realistically #ALSO idk what I did but I've started feeling genuine hunger for the first time in years #usually what I consider hunger is actually just some sort of sickness/weakness/nausea and pain that lets me know to eat #but a few days ago I actually got hungry. which I did not enjoy but it went away after a little while #idk why that happened #Sera

[homunculus-argument]

I'm not usually a nitpicker about historical accuracy - and I know that my own comic is going to make Ancient Rome Nerds shriek about all the "fuck it, looks right enough" desicions I'm not even consciously aware that I've been making - but one thing I want to point out is that gladiators did not fucking have visible sixpacks.

Gladiators were trained for strength, endurance, battle fitness and stamina. Functional peak performance. The kind of a build you've got when your life literally depends on it. And because ancient Romans were exactly as horny and indulgent as imperial powers allowed themselves to be before the christian pretense of modesty was invented, they fought half-naked. And if you're going to have no armour over your skin, you've got to have some protective layer between skin and muscle. Roman gladiators were muscled, bulky and they were fucking

thick

and people were

stupid horny

about that. Everybody stop depicting them as skinned-squirrel-looking dehydrated bodybuilders, they were a work line not show line breed of built. This is a built-like-a-brick-wall stack body build developed by the people who discovered an indestructible type of concrete.

[sunny-daysss]

Someone explain to me why my brain is hyperfixating on tetris

#sunny speaks #like #of all things it had to be tetris #i've been playing it basically non-stop since like saturday i think #i hate when my brain latches on to these types of puzzle games #because then it literally becomes all i think about #like even if i'm not playing it my brain is still visualising it #it happened when i got hyperfixated on this other puzzle game i had on my phone #i literally woke up in a cold sweat because i was straight up just dreaming about it #anyways my brain doesn't like to function normally

[steven-cartoons]

when will self insert writers realize they're the most fucking annoying people on this website for clogging every single tag with their delulu bullshit and refusing to make/use an agreed upon CW tag. so no one can blacklist their posts

#JUST PUT *self insert* OR *x reader* YOU FUCKING IDIOTS #i literally cannot go through every single fandom i like and blacklist *name x reader* for each character i enjoy #that's just the most tedious bullshit ever. JUST TAG YOUR POSTS CORRECTLY #im going to start bullying these people and/or mass reporting them for spam #bc I've been on this website for almost 9 years now and they literally NEVER STOP ??? #i cant believe so many people are willingly such assholes and theyve been doing it for so many years #my post #personal #ok to rb #i can't even judge the self insert aspect of it. i read that shit too but not on here #it's just the complete lack of caring that they are ruining the tumblr search function and making this shitty website even more unusable