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daswarschonkaputt · 2 years

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an incredibly subjective kinnporsche fic rec list

a few caveats before i get into it: i have probably missed fic. this is all my opinion, and if you disagree with it, that’s fine. i’m not giving these fics ratings, or picking out my extra special favourites because that’s just a dick move and inevitably results in writers feeling like shit. (i’ve been there.) if it’s on this list, i enjoyed it enough to remember it. which is saying something because i read a lot of fic. like, so much firefox fucking crashed when i was opening tabs from my ao3 history. i bsod’d my fucking laptop for this. oh and my fic is on this list because hell yeah i recommend it. i fucking wrote it.

these aren’t in any particular order, because they’re mostly in order of my ao3 history. bear in mind that a lot of these were written whilst the show was airing, so they’re not so much canon as canon-adjacent. where i can remember what they go by over on this hellsite, i’ve tagged the author’s in question. if you know any of the handles for authors i’ve missed, feel free to tag them too.

under a cut because there are quite a few here:

A Guide to Living a Mafia-Adjacent Life by puckbaes https://archiveofourown.org/works/39870123

What? Post-canon fic about Chay adjusting to his new life as a mafia-adjacent college student, and making peace with his relationship with Kim. WIP. 20k, 8/11 chapters posted.

Why? This story primarily makes me feel peaceful, to read. Chay’s just trying to get through his life, whilst trying to pick himself up and move on. It’s such a breath of fresh air whenever it updates. Also P’Bank is the best.

for you (i'd burn the world to the ground) by cuteandtwisted https://archiveofourown.org/works/40134927

What? AU where Porsche grew up with the Theerapanyakul’s, and has been Kinn’s faithful bodyguard the entire time. He and Kinn have a tortured relationship. WIP, 24k, 4/5 chapters posted.

Why? This one is not a peaceful read. This one rips out your heart and stomps on it. But unsurprisingly, I’m an angst queen, and I very much enjoy these losers ruining their lives (and each other). Also badass Porsche. We all love badass Porsche, don’t we?

but you’re everywhere (yes you are) by fortunehasgivenup https://archiveofourown.org/works/39221205

What? Canon-divergence where Porsche remembers the kiss on the pier, and talks to Kinn about it. Despite the summary, they are softer than canon. Complete, 90k.

Why? Reading this I kept expecting the other shoe to drop, and it didn’t. Kinn and Porsche fall into each other and figure each other out. It’s just a nice, long canon-divergence fic with low drama and high heat.

within the ablaze by lightshine https://archiveofourown.org/works/39897795

What? A/B/O mpreg AU. Check out the content warnings on AO3 before you brave this one, folks. Porsche gets pregnant, and has to figure out what he’s going to do about it. WIP, 9k, 3/16 chapters posted.

Why? Okay, so only a few chapters have been posted of this one, but what’s there has me intrigued. There’s some interesting worldbuilding here, but again, check the content warnings on AO3. It’s omegaverse, and some of the trope’s more dystopian elements are folded into the world here. This is one of the fic I am subscribed to and am watching to see how it develops.

You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out by aby01 https://archiveofourown.org/works/39718185

What? A/B/O AU where Porsche is a feral alpha, terrified of being used as someone’s weapon, and Kinn is, well, Kinn. Porsche would like desperately to steer clear of him for forever – there’s just one problem: Chay’s dating Kim. Alpha!Kinn/Alpha!Porsche. Complete, 34k.

Why? Someone tags their fic with Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics and I am there so quickly, you have no idea. I really enjoyed the worldbuilding here. I followed it right from the first chapter and faithfully read every update – I vibed hard with it.

Where Power Resides by Laughsalot3412 (@laughsalot3412 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38407180

What? Canon-divergent AU circa episode 2. Vegas demands a steeper price for Porsche hurting his brother, and Kinn ends up going along. Somehow this results in them falling into a BDSM relationship. Complete, 65k.

Why? C’mon guys. This is a fandom classic for a reason. Laughs really knocks it out of the park. The BDSM stuff here is mostly non-sexual, and written really tenderly. It’s really clear what Kinn and Porsche each get out of the relationship, and the way they both come to rely on each other is really beautiful. Also I have a soft spot for Laughs’ Kim, who’s my favourite brand of feral.

The power in the taking by iffervescent (@iffervescent on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002584

What? Porsche and Kinn fuck around (sexually) and then find out (about feelings). Kinn’s a dominant asshole, and Porsche hates that that seems to do it for him. Written before the show aired, based on the Filmania trailer, and got a shocking amount really right. Complete, 17k.

Why? Iffy’s a fucking powerhouse, guys. This one is a little darker in tone than the show liked to keep it, but so, so fucking good. Obviously it doesn’t get everything correct canon-wise, but that’s to be expected. It’s still a really good fic.

playing with fire by acrobats (@fractured-ice on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39521733

What? Porsche character study through the lens of smoking. Complete, 2.5k.

Why? A short fic that looks at Porsche and his use of smoking as a coping mechanism. Damn good characterisation. Almost meta, really.

i'm the violence in the pouring rain by theleftboobgrabber (@histypeisnice on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39205392

What? Porsche has a side-hustle on onlyfans. Kinn has no sense of boundaries. Twisty and incredibly hot. WIP, 20k, 2/3 chapters posted.

Why? Um. I have no excuse? I saw a snippet of this posted on tumblr and was absolutely hooked. When I say I want these losers to ruin each other, I think of fics like this one.

tiny spark, mighty flame by BeStillMySlashyHeart https://archiveofourown.org/works/38828970

What? Soulmate AU where your first touch leaves a mark on your soulmate. Gee, wouldn’t it suck if the first time Kinn and Porsche actually touched was when Kinn strangled him in episode two? Wouldn’t it suck if that was how they found out they were soulmates? (Distant laughter.) Complete, 29k.

Why? This was one of the first soulmate AU fic I read that actually approached the matter that Porsche would need a security detail, once it was discovered. Which: I would recommend it just for that on its own. BUT, it’s also a neat fic. There’s a really cool use of the author’s worldbuilding at the end of the fic, which I won’t spoil, but I still think about it. It’s short, it’s sweet, it hits the mark.

Nosy, Nosy by snickerdoodlles (@thecookiemonster77 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39562044

What? Tankhun and Kim character study. Incredibly in-character, and also incredibly funny. Complete, 13k.

Why? One of the first fic I ever read where the author seemed to just get Tankhun on a subatomic level. This fic is the Tankhun character reference, guys. Also Kim is just so funny to throw at the rest of the cast. Yes, Tankhun. Invade his space. Irritate him. Understand him.

Head.Cars.Bending by hotlemontea https://archiveofourown.org/works/39744693

What? Tankhun ends up halfway across Thailand after a wild night of partying. Porsche and Kinn go to pick him up, and Porsche’s driving puts the fear of God into Kinn. As it fucking should. Complete, 4k.

Why? You ever read a fic that just sets the tone and sticks to it? It’s a simple idea, very straightforward, and utterly sticks the landing. I really enjoyed it. One of the few fic I was able to recall off the top of my head by name when I wrote this list. It’s that good.

Assumptions about you by Sirvaria (@antique-forvalaka on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38101582

What? Smut fic, Porsche likes being manhandled. Complete, 6k.

Why? Um. UM. I read it for the… character development? Yeah. We’ll go with that. Seriously though, this is the good shit.

gone fishing by snickerdoodlles https://archiveofourown.org/works/39384114

What? Post-canon social media fic. Chay takes over Wik’s Twitter. Complete, 1.5k.

Why? I didn’t realise until I put together this list that this is the same author as “Nosy, Nosy”. It all makes sense. Cute, funny, in-character, which I guess is snickerdooodlles’s trademark now.

A Stacked Deck by Patterpea (@winterberrysea on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40217793

What? Time travel fic where Porsche is sent back in time after taking a bullet for Kinn. WIP, 39k, 4/16 chapters posted.

Why? It’s time travel fic with badass Porsche. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I was all over this the moment it was posted and will continue to be all over it until it’s complete and then probably for a few months after that. This scratches so many itches and I love it to bits already.

fake love and hennessy by yeetlegay (@yeetlegay on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39083298

What? Pretty Woman AU. Porsche is a prostitute, and Kinn hires him for a week. They have a lot of sex. WIP, 53k, 8/17 chapters posted.

Why? This is another one of the fandom juggernauts, and for good reason. The writing’s swell, everyone’s in character, and Yeetle works hard to maintain their title as the ruling monarch of the horny Kinnporsche fandom.

The King's Tree by LuckyDragon (@luckydragon10 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39298218

What? Soulmate AU where prior to canon, Kinn got his soulmark removed. Porsche didn’t. Porsche is now faced with a reality where his soulmate was so opposed to his very existence that he had him burned out of his flesh. So, he’s not really best-inclined to letting Kinn in on the secret. WIP, 64k, 12/14 chapters posted.

Why? It’s so good. Like. It’s criminal how underrated this fic is, relatively. Whenever this one updates, I drop everything to go read it. You may know Nemi (the author) from the meta doc – but damn can she write. This one rips my heart out on a daily basis, holds it outside my chest, and then returns it, wrapped in cotton wool. I’m not kidding. It’s so fucking good.

Intent to Cherish by Iffervescent https://archiveofourown.org/works/40304811

What? A/B/O AU with shades of sugar daddy thrown in for fun. Porsche is an atypical omega, and hyperaware of that fact. Kinn wants him really fucking bad – but wants to spoil him more. Complete, 47k.

Why? It lures you in with the promise of scalding hot sex (Iffy’s trademark), only to sucker punch you with fascinating worldbuilding and Kittisawat feels. This fic is so fucking good, guys. This Porsche makes me absolutely lose my mind, and Kinn does too.

cover up, walk away by Ronan Vespertine (Akina1521) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39225051

What? Porsche character study, post-diamond auction. Canon-typical content warnings apply. WIP, 5k, 2/4 chapters posted.

Why? In the aftermath of episode four (and episode five, really, too) I had a lot of feelings about what had happened. In order to process these feelings, I went looking for fic, and cover up was one of the first I found. I enjoyed it a lot, and am secretly waiting for the author to finish it.

whiskey sour by cardamon https://archiveofourown.org/works/39632343

What? Post-canon, a little AU. Kinn and Vegas do business. Pete and Porsche come along. Complete, 1.8k.

Why? It was written before the season finale and it shows, but it’s still pretty fun. All very bloody brutal murder boys. I’d definitely recommend it, if you’re into that.

Tiger Tiger by LuckyDragon https://archiveofourown.org/works/38000350

What? Slight canon divergence, Kinn investigates Porsche and watches him at the fight ring. Small ficlet. Complete, 2k.

Why? I really love Nemi’s Kinn POV. Just a neat ficlet, with a slight AU to it. Could fit into canon.

A Little Wicked by midnightsurge https://archiveofourown.org/works/40197588

What? Canon-divergent AU. Porsche doesn’t sell the watch, and Kinn doesn’t kidnap him to recruit him. That doesn’t mean he’s prepared to leave him alone. Complete, 11k.

Why? I love canon-divergence. It’s one of my favourite tropes. And fics like this are why. They’re so soft in this one – wound-tending, bathing, all the hurt-comfort tropes. And Porsche’s confused horniness for Kinn is great and wonderfully in character – he really gets kissed once and goes, Okay, I guess I like guys now. Good shit.

All for Us by rebellconquerer (@rebellconquerer on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40326297

What? Post-canon character study. Porsche gets a new tattoo. Complete, 3.5k.

Why? rebellconquerer writes these fantastic, short snapshots of character interaction. This is no exception. Wonderful fic, wonderful premise, wonderfully executed. If you want more where this came from, check their tumblr.

wrapped around your finger (is my ring) by kittysawat https://archiveofourown.org/works/40793439

What? Fake relationship AU. Kinn hires Porsche to be his fiancé, to dodge an arranged marriage. WIP, 7k.

Why? So I guess Kinnporsche has cured me of my burning apathy for fake dating because I am all over this shit, and it’s only one chapter in. Author-san I am looking with Both My Eyes for your next update.

Machine Gun Kick by majestictortoise (@majestictortoise on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40501785

What? Post-canon fic where Porsche investigates the incident at Yok’s bar during the finale -- and his investigation leads him to Kim. Complete, 14k

Why? I live for the Porsche and Kim dynamic, which we didn’t get to see at all in canon. It’s so much funnier if they actually get along. It’s so good. It feeds us so well. Heartfelt, entertaining, well-written. I love this fic so much.

between the sheets by DasWarSchonKaputt (dat’s me) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39409224

What? Fake dating/bodyguard AU. Porsche is hired to pretend to be Kinn’s boyfriend whilst secretly being his bodyguard. Complete, 70k.

Why? Cards on the table, I wrote this. And I think it’s fucking great. I know that sounds arrogant, but I really do rate this one. If you haven’t read it, or even if fake dating’s not really your thing – give it a shot. For me?

#kinnporsche fic rec #this is all incredibly subjective #i don't like leaving comments on ao3 - gives me mad anxiety #so this is i guess my substitute for that #please give these fics and their authors a lot of love #i may have missed some bc i had like 30 ao3 tabs open after going through my history #also there's no vegas/pete on this list bc i do not read fic for them #even kimchay i'm picky about #kinnporsche #i tried to strike a balance between what i feel are fandom classics #and lesser known fic that i've stumbled across #also i had to plug my own fic bc if you don't believe in yourself who will #i've been reliably informed it's good tho #i did this instead of replying to comments bc i'm a rebel #edited to add an author tumblr tag i found upon rereading gone fishing #and also to add machine gun kick #because it was a crime i forgot that one

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dazed-diary · 6 months

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a/n: just a little something because i've been feeling quite winter-y lately (and I also felt like maybe posting after almost an entire year of absolutely nothing would be kinda cool too ig lol)

bkg x gn!reader - wc: .7k

warnings: it's katsuki so swearing lol u know the drill

katsuki is so cute bundled up in his winter clothes.

you’re also pretty sure he doesn’t realize it. the way his thick woolly scarf comes up to his red nose, the fabric almost covering it fully as he sniffles occasionally, its color nicely complimenting the shine of his eyes.

he looks quite grumpy in that state, usually preferring warmth over the cold because of his quirk, but somehow his scrunched-up face even adds to his cuteness, you think.

red eyes move from the scenery to you, narrowing as he huffs out a breath that materializes in a white cloud in front of him.

“what.”

you realize you must have been staring and break out into a grin. “nothing,” you say and bury your hands deeper into the pockets of your jacket as you tear your eyes away, looking over the scenery instead and feigning innocence.

katsuki huffs out a breath of frustration and takes a step towards you. “do i got something on my face, or what?”

you really have to bite back your laugh now, averting your gaze so he doesn’t catch the way the corners of your mouth quirk upwards. “nope,” you pop the p as you turn away from him.

“oi, what the fuck is it.”

his question sounds like more of a demand, the words are almost growled now as he tries to keep his voice down as if you two aren’t the only people on this snowy hill outside the city right now.

you know there’s no actual bite behind his words and the reason behind his agitation is merely his impatience and curiosity - which of course he would never admit to out loud, but you know him, and so you allow yourself to enjoy your little game for a moment longer, before you suddenly turn around to him and look him in the eyes.

“you’re just so pretty, katsuki!” you finally answer him, then, and watch in amusement as his eyes widen and his face turns red, before his eyebrows furrow and he takes a startled step back.

“what-“ he looks as if he’s seen a ghost, but composes himself quickly, avoiding eye contact. “oh, shut up.”

you laugh as he grumbles something unintelligible, the blush on his cheeks showing no sign of disappearing.

“what was that?” you ask, stepping closer and raising a hand to cup over your ear.

suddenly, he spins around and leans forward until his face is so close you can practically feel the heat radiating off of him, taking you by surprise.

“i said,” his voice is low, and as he exhales, his breath is forming a tiny cloud again, the air hot on your face, “you’re an idiot.”

you’re frozen in place, only able to watch as he spins around again and starts walking down the hill the way you came. you’re sure that by now, your own face must be at least as red as his, if not even more.

halfway down, katsuki stops and turns around, looking at you with a neutral expression. “you comin’?” he yells, seemingly impatient because you’re just standing there, but you know better.

his mask of nonchalance is good, but even from where you’re standing, you can see the way his eyes are still focused on your face, studying your flustered expression, a tiny smirk threatening to stretch over his lips.

the discovery pulls you out of your stupor, brow furrowing as you jog in his direction to catch up. “that little asshole,” you mutter to yourself, your own smile playing on your lips as you shake your head.

when you catch up to him, katsuki has a shit-eating grin on his face and you suppress the urge to roll your eyes at him.

“what’s wrong?” he asks with that false concern, barely bothering to hide his teasing tone.

“nothing,” you laugh as you jokingly elbow him. he elbows back, although softly, and it makes a warm, fuzzy feeling spread through your chest that drowns out the cold. in that moment, tiny, white snowflakes start falling from the sky, landing softly on the ground, the branches, and in katsuki’s hair.

“look, it’s snowing!” you take in the sight around you with a grin.

“yeah, i noticed,” katsuki grumbles, narrowing his eyes as he looks up.

you don’t think he realizes the way he buries his face further into his scarf, and it makes you laugh.

“what?” he asks gruffly, focusing his gaze back onto you.

“nothing,” you grin at him and take his gloved hand into yours. “let’s go home.”

he looks at you, an indecipherable expression on his face and for a moment, you’re unable to look away.

“yeah,” he says then, squeezing your hand. “let’s.”

#uuuuhhhhhhhh soooooo heyyyy #how's everyone doing?#('everyone' being the like two people that might stumble across this on accident lol)#uh anyways it's been some time #formatting is still as painful as ever on this site i see #but uh yeah #i've been writing this whole time it's just #longer things i'll never finish yk #writing is hard #hope u like it #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki fluff

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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reread the rest thus far of lackadaisy and there's the both v easy & difficult task of gathering a shit ton but only a shit ton of excerpts (like every single page is a highlight i'm not exaggerating)

and every single element is superlative and the way it all only becomes More So....already mentioned the way the like smooth gradient shading made the successful evocation of 3D Shapes more noticeable, along w/the consistent geometries of character design & details in fabric folds; the way Lighting & Coloring only goes on to become more prominent elements only enhances that further. the compositions, backgrounds, pacing, angles....everything is so dynamic & expressive, such as including the expressions which you know i also Love / absorbed

going "hell yes for people to discover this superlative comic" then having to occasionally refresh past site traffic overloaded server errors like "nooo" but actually yes

whilest clapping & cheering for the fun of everyone who's been here a minute. My God the invigorating reward when again i started reading in '07 & the concept of rocky & freckle on a "proper" run had only manifested via fun official bonus art, then a literal decade later as it was actually happening in the comic like screeeeaammm i can feel it coming in the air tonight oh lord etc....i've loved following it, again, if i see another new comic page. i am going to be Enriched

i also really was right on the ball myself this time around like okay okay yep i have picked up on Everything, at least to the degree i can lmao. i love the mysteries. i love how Character Focused it is too ofc and there's no characters i'm uniterested in / dislike. you gotta point to one of them, truly, and i have been a [pointing at freckle] enjoyer these fifteen years but fr i am a connoisseur of everyone, i love that so many characters are a weird mysterious chaos element story driver in their own right. i considered mordecai more intently than ever, love his like ultra mystery (and that we leave off on him doing some detectiving even) and truly fun that like, the source of the more Immediate problems he keeps having in every damn interaction isn't the like [wow mordecai with the just diving into the hatchet murdering] factor so much as it's that he's generally like "i am just standing here" and is not nt in any way that matters and people insist on fucking with him on that front. the peak tragedy of him in a bonus comic getting bullied into having to dance with someone to Be Polite like i'm so sorry i wish you could be that ficus too. anyways intrigued with the marigold &/or mordecai mysteries including that it's like, how coincidental is it that he talks about marigold having a thorn in its side & the savoys' nickname for him is peekon = thorn. there is so much to consider, love that for us truly. and i'm rooting for mordecai & nicodeme's dynamic out here, is another conclusion....very enriched by comparing & contrasting that serafine nicodeme mordecai triumvirate with the rocky ivy freckle one, to be sure. im enriched

i'm also enriched by every footnote that's got like historical facts / research notes / [this is inaccurate for xyz prioritization but here's the disclaimer] explanations. i Love information. and everything else like i loooove this comic it's Soooo Fucking putting my hands to my temples and inhaling at length through my teeth

#first time i've really taken tumblr up on that new thirty image limit expansion; bit of a surprise maybe lol #put your back into autism acceptance month &/or press j; scroll fast; read through it actually; filter the following:#long post //#learning abt the overwhelming popularity of baby ruth candy bars from lackadaisy footnotes? relevant to gtm:pota aficionadoship at one pt #remember discussing what i learned from another footnote abt some christian denominations / other religions being very Anti Prohibition #every time i use the word cagey i think of lackadaisy. cagey thing... we've all been there #fantastic time revisiting and i love to be considering all these characters all the further / with reckless juxtaposition #especially the two triumvirates as mentioned. rooting for them all #rooting for mordecai to be relieved of that v realistic [ppl sensing a Mess With His he is not nt in any way that mattersness Free For All]#either let him be or start shooting at him lmfao. but i Love that the gang had that pleasant nonbrunch together & no shots exchanged yet #more brunches! and i think nicodeme could be mordecai's bestie or w/e he wants. turn out to be Supportive in any way that matters #they are more so the ivy and freckle of their group after all lol. slightly would-be Unlikely coupling there as well anyways; and yet!#i am as enriched and intrigued and appreciative and etc as ever #and reminded that in my rereading i haven't yet gone over all the bonus material lol....#also stumbled across that sungwon cho had fandubs of lackadaisy comics posted like 9 yrs back??#which means i probably saw one or two; think i remember one being shared and checking that out #like hey didn't know i'd encountered you before like; vines & oh the lamps are fucking & etc. and now there he goes voicing mordecai yaay #lackadaisy

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automatonknight · 11 months

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i hope u kno i think ur tf2posting is awesome because i am too scared to play it (pvp....) but really love tf2 anyway

AWW THANK YOU SO MUCH I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR GENUINELY!!!!!!<333 i love sharing honestly it feels so special...not to get sappy again but this is my first video game experience like that, since tf2 is the first like. multiplayer shooter i've ever played and it's just. so nice when someone teaches me how to do silly stuff like the "intel funny" or when i have the honor of participating in a server-wide dance party. it's just so!!! well. nice and really cool honestly :]

#ask #like. total strangers i may not stumble upon again are making my day better just because i think we just. like being nice to eachother #deep down kind of #as i said that thrusting sniper may not know how hard that made me laugh and the dude who said 'good job' to me also might not know how #special i felt but. well i feel all of that and i'll remember it. do you get me #love forever ok?#and honestly! i know some fears are hard to overcome i was definitely shaking when i joined into my first match but people are really ok #most of the time! and if they aren't honestly just hit the bricks! if i'm not having fun or see an asshole i usually que for another game #2fort i feel like is also super forgiving since people are kind of expecting silly players? but even on idk payload maps nobody gave me any #trouble for being a 50 minutes of playtime noob pyro. and you get better the longer you play like genuinely!#like with the whole spy thing. you start to get a feel for when someone is acting suspicious #recently i've also been unlearning going with the rocket launchers against pyros but that also took like. 5 reflected rocket deaths to #really stick. ok i'm rambling now but it can be a wonderful game :3 #i know this all might sound silly but i started like. kind of genuinely playing games only last summer so discovering all of these new #things is just ahh!!! it's so cool!

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carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich · 1 year

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I just realised today that it’s been over 8 years since I published my first piece of reader insert fanfiction (not for DL but it laid the groundwork for what was to come) and it’s absolutely crazy to me. I don’t know that I’ve talked about it on this blog much (for it was not good by anyone’s standards) but I used to publish on Quotev and I made a couple of friends on there who really helped me when I was going through a hard time in real life (not that I think any of them necessarily realised how much :’) ). Sadly we all sort of drifted away from the site and lost contact but I still think about them sometimes and hope that wherever they are they’re doing well.

I miss our little community on there too and the silly conversations we used to have, as while I don’t think Tumblr ever quite had the same vibe, I do think it’s grown a lot more impersonal over the years (or at least that’s certainly been my experience).

Anyway I don’t know that there’s much of a point to this other than me reminiscing but if we’ve interacted at some point while I’ve been running this blog, or even if you just silently like a lot of my posts (because believe me, there are usernames I recognise even if we’ve never properly talked), then I’m grateful and I hope that you’re happy and doing well.

#personal #delete later #I just needed to get this off my chest I think #and... I think this might be a goodbye #I've had this blog for over 6 years and it's gotten me through some tough times #and I am so very grateful for all the good times #I've been saying I plan to move on for a while but I think I'm actually ready this time #I'd been debating whether to make a song and dance over it or quietly disappear into the night #but I look back on abandoned blogs and always wonder what happened to the people who ran them #so if you're looking back on this and wondering then at the time of writing I'm doing well #busy but well #and I though that saying goodbye in a rambling set of tags was very true to form #so if you're still reading thank you so much for joining me for this chapter of my life #and if you're someone who's stumbled onto this blog years after I made this post #(providing Tumblr is even still going by then)#then I hope these characters and stories can bring you as much joy as they once brought me

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not-poignant · 1 year

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You've been getting death threats? 😕 I'm so sorry that's happening to you. I fuxking hate antis man

Hi anon!

Thankfully not for a while now, but it does happen from time to time. I'm generally not targeted as much as some so I fly under the radar a lot, but I do filter out the majority of the hate and weirdness because I just don't see the point having it here / giving it a platform!

I hate how much damage abuse/bullying does, but I sadly can understand how people end up with fancop / anti mindsets, especially when young. It's very sort of logical to go from 'I hate pedophilia (or rape or incest)' (a normal response) to 'I hate anything that causes it (or rape or incest)' (a normal response) and then making an illogical leap to 'people who write about it in fiction deserve to die and I have a right to destroy them because they're basically as bad as the criminals because they create more criminals and are criminals themselves.'

It starts in the most logical place. And I gotta say, people love being able to hurt others under the banner of a sense of righteous anger. When you feel justified ethically, abusing others, you don't have to deal with shame or guilt in the same way as just targeting someone in highschool or college (or in the workplace). Instead you just get to profoundly dehumanise invisible folks in the internet, and feel like that's activism. That's disgusting, absolutely abhorrent, but I do understand how people get there.

I used to get a lot angrier about it on Twitter, and I still do sometimes, especially when I see the direct harm it causes our communities, when it suffocates creators (many of whom don't even want to draw or write this content, but just feel judged and starved out of fandom), or worse, destroys their lives. I'm very angry on behalf of the people who are scared to post fics or art etc. because of the antis in the fandom/s around them, because it's unfair, and it's hard to convince people to just 'post whatever you want' when it's realistic that some of those people will be abused for it.

So yeah, the hatred makes sense too. It's like...indefensible behaviour and so different to just having general NOTPs / squicks / not liking certain ships. But I do sometimes look at folks who take anti positions (especially the ones who don't realise they're doing it, because they're generally permissive of like 90% of stuff including a fair bit of problematic stuff except like One Thing they're triggered or squicked by), and think... 'You've been fearmongered into believing abusing real people is appropriate behaviour, and if you're lucky, you're one day going to have to deal with the shame and guilt that comes from knowing you've actively tried to destroy people's lives online, and have done harm to many vulnerable people in the process. That's going to be a hard journey for you, but if you make it through to the other side, you are going to feel so much better about yourself as a person, and so much less afraid of your own thoughts, and your intrusive thoughts, and it will be worth it, I promise.'

If they're unlucky, they never realise, and then we all pay the cost for someone who just lives in a state of moral panic forever :/

Anyway, for the most part I'm not really hurt by it personally because I a) have a background in university media studies and know that - scientifically speaking - antis are wrong about (nearly) everything they say, lmao, and b) can tell the difference between reality and fiction and know there's not a 1:1 correlation between the two, and c) I've experienced a lot of different kinds of abuse (sadly) and I can see most of it coming from a mile off these days and I'm not going to wear the shame and guilt people try to dump on me, because they're too juvenile or immature to process with and sit with their own discomfort that others are different to them and have different taboo fantasies to them.

Tl;dr anon - I'm doing okay! Antis do a lot of damage. I get where they're coming from but it never excuses their abuse. The hate they send doesn't really affect me these days, which might be why they started to leave me alone more sdalkjs

#asks and answers #purity wank #moral puritanism #there's been waves of it #some of the worst has been on twitter when i've actually stepped into threads of rabid antis to like #gently and academically challenge the outright lies and myths being spread like facts #and one day i was like #i just don't need to do this #especially when i saw that some proshippers there were also becoming very abusive and toxic towards antis #which is not the answer #death threats aren't okay no matter which side you're on #though again i can really understand it lmao #i retreated primarily to tumblr and i'm very careful re: how i curate my spaces #i think my fics are generally tagged well/thoroughly enough #that antis who stumble across it just don't bother #the only antis i meet the most these days #are people who don't know they're antis or carry some of the rhetoric #but use that rhetoric in like...AO3 comments or similar #and if that's the case i'll just gently point out what might be happening #i get so angry on behalf of others instead #fdsklajs but yeah i have had some crappy things happen over the years #but eh the vast vast vast vast majority of folks i meet online #are the very best of people

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widowshill · 29 days

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personal.

#// tbd #// personal #// vent #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and exhausted.#man it has been. sort of a rough day. i stumbled on some pictures accidentally and i. really miss the person i was then.#i miss the friendship i had with that person. i miss the excitement i had for the future; the fun i had with mundane things.#the sense of trust and belonging with them. the way i could communicate with them about anything.#in hindsight was it necessarily for the best that I always wanted their approval and to impress them? well. no.#but i was always pushing to be better. dress better. be funnier. be successful. driven. a better artist; a better writer; a better friend.#partly i think university burnt me out; or just. The State of Things. but I've been thinking so much about apathy.#how i struggle now to plan out anything even two weeks in advance; forget to make reservations til the last minute; miss out -#on buying tickets because i forgot. but the trip I had with them I was excited about and planning for *years*#i'm trying to be better at answering messages and keeping up with people it's just so. i don't know. i've been feeling very unmoored. void.#i've never been *great* at interpersonal relationships but that ... did not help.#i wish i would have handled things differently. i feel like these things aren't supposed to affect you 5 years later #and after you've gone through undergrad but it still ... does.#what they did hurt but they only acted that way because i didn't. get it. i didn't understand why i felt the way i did #or what it was i was feeling. and even when i did i didn't handle it well. so. natural consequence #and now i just have a weird reaction to *any* friends having a romantic life which is not. can't be like that. can't be doing that.#that's not realistic or sustainable for friendships.#and now that i don't have grades / faculty attention/approval to strive for and sustain me it's. well. it's something.#whatever. i'm sure my personal life being irreversibly tanked by this will all work out in the end.#[crunchy black and white mr. incredible dot jpeg]

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spaceratprodigy · 1 month

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was thinking about somethin somethin nicky "breaking up" with iris while slow dancing with her

#extra salt in the wound if it's the night ellie and trav surprise them with a makeshift date night #breaking up in quotations bc at this point they wouldn't really be established but It Would Be Obvious ya'know #idk I've been messing around with parts of iris's story again for funsies and wanted some change of scenery #so playing around with ideas #such as nick even if he does have real feelings for her beyond not necessarily wanting their partnership to end #he's incredibly aware he is never capable of being the partner she needs in the ways she'd really want #he doesn't doubt how much she loves him. he knows she does #he also knows how quickly and easily she would sacrifice herself desperately hoping that love would last #and he doesn't want to see her unhappy clinging to something. to him. when she deserves more. someone who can give her the life she wants #thinking about him. her in his arms. the shotgun blast to the heart. saying the first I love you while pushing her away at the same time #also really really really have been thinking up the chain of events that would lead up to her dropping everything and going back on the road #alone again for the first time in a long while #needed a catalyst for her just kinda ✨disappearing✨ for a long while and no one not even deeks can find her #travis trying desperately to contact her at her home base. but she's not there to answer the radio #and he starts trying to talk to her through dcr because he knows she's listening #his lil stumbly voice telling her how sorry he is for what happened. that he wants her to come home. that he's worried. that he misses her #rambling #miss ma'am iris is that you

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mariyekos · 2 months

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Man. Interacting on tumblr is so much easier/nicer/common than on twitter. The tag system means it's much more convenient to search for posts outside of your direct circle, which leads to a lot more interaction, and a lot more fun. I made my tumblr in 2013 and my twitter in 2017 so this is where I got my start, but in the past few years I've been much more active on twitter and have really missed out. It's cool interacting with strangers even just for a post or two. There's a lot more sharing of headcanons and theories and meta/analysis, and I love it.

#erurandomness #erubabbles #hello everyone!#i may not always be quick to reply but i really appreciate all the interaction #it makes me so happy #i'm pretty sure at this point 50-80% of my followers are dead blogs #because i've been here for almost 11 years now #but there are some followers who are still active and i appreciate you. whether it's commentary or just a blank like/reblog #same thing for strangers who don't follow me but stumble onto my posts #i love the discussions that pop up here #it's really fun to think about things like this #i mean have you seen my essays lol i have fun with it okay #or my tag stories tag #there are so many more opportunities here to THINK and express yourself #which is also a benefit of the length that tumblr allows for #versus twitter's character limit #i like twitter too but there's a reason tumblr feels like home.

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margridarnauds · 1 year

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I do have a lot of strong feelings about the way that AFAB academics are treated because *broad gesture* part of the reason why I got into the business professionally was that the term “Dr.” is gender neutral and would keep me away from all of the messy decisions about “Miss” or “Ms” or what would be an acceptable alternative, only to realize that, oh *wait*, you might get the title of “Dr.” but you’ll never REALLY be treated like One of the Lads, you’ll always be hyper-scrutinized for your appearance or the tone of your voice or if you’re too confident or if you’re not confident enough or if you’re too warm or too cold and you’ll always have male colleagues talk over you and you’ll always have female colleagues talk down to you so they can earn their place in a patriarchal system, it doesn’t change. You’re still one step away from being called a Dumb Bitch, now you’re just Dr. Dumb Bitch.

#and some of my male colleagues are wonderful!#i don't want it to seem like it's a constant torture #but there HAVE definitely been times where I've been hyper scrutinized in ways that they aren't #and sometimes they get that and they understand their privilege there and sometimes I have to explain to them that NO I CAN'T make the same #kind of jokes they make. I can't be 'jokingly' incompetent or stumble over my words #because every time I do I can FEEL a counter go off in people's heads #whereas if my male colleagues do it it's Adorable

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the-insanity-of-mojiru · 3 months

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Question is, how did she make breakfast so big?

#I had a dream a few nights ago that I ended up in the House of Doors because I've been going through old art and glazing it #And I stumbled upon some old Asher art #And I ended up going over the whole concept again before I knocked out #It was a weird dream though I was there and no one else was there #And I was just randomly opening doors that kept leading back to my old university #It was stressing me out LOL I was thinking 'I don't have exams anymore I've been out of school for years'#Insanity Draws #Insanity of Mojiru #透明な無名世界

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rainbows-fanfics · 1 year

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Opening fics from the early 2000′s knowing they’ll either be completed masterpieces or will tear me apart as they end on a cliffhanger that hasn’t been updated for nearly 18 years

#ive been a little preoccupied with reading fanfic on a certain movie from this time period #and ive most often just been stumbling on incompleted/cliffhanger fics #but just now finished a 20+ chapter story from so long ago and. got me thinking about things #i mostly find these old fics from fanfic.net and as much as i've abandoned that site it holds so much....history at the same time #i found some heavenly ones on ao3 but for finding things from this certain time period i find way more on ff.net #it's so empty and reminiscent yet so much more at the same time #these authors havent updated their profile in 17 years. are they living fulfilled lives? have they ever logged back on?#man.

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innocence-wont-save-you · 1 year

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Hey Unparalleled Innocence, is the inside of your puppet hollow? In theory could you somehow open up your chest, put a bunch of neurons in there, as many as you can fit, and then have potentially more memory and have them be safe, or is that not viable? Cuz if it is, we could totally steal Pebbles Neurons when we get there. He won’t be using them soon anyways.

"That's—that's not how our puppets work." You tug your umbilical cord closer, glancing at the neurons latched onto the end. "Or, well." You sigh. "Yes, our puppets are filled with neurons, but they are a different type of neuron. The cellular components inside of us are a very similar type of cell to the brain matter in our creators. In essence, we are highly modified, highly engineered brains." Your neurons—neuron _flies_— twitch, as if they can hear you. "Part of a brain, anyway. We are only the command center. Without the rest of our can, our functionality is very limited."

You pull the cord down, close enough that your neuron flies are in front of your face. They persistently tug on the cord, trying to lift into the air again, but you hold it down with your lance. "Our cellular neurons can store memories, as can our neuron flies," you continue, thumbing at one of the closer neuron flies. It squirms away from your hand. "Inside my can, these would have facilitated information transfer, aiding in synchronizing the various networks. Out here, they're more of an information buffer." Carefully, you pry out the remnants of the bubble seeds from between the tendrils of your neuron flies, gently teasing the fragments out as your neuron flies wriggle and writhe. "And they serve as a makeshift way for me to obtain nutrients." You flick the dried up plant matter away. "That isn't to say they're useless beyond providing me with sustenance. They still help coordinate my systems. They're instrumental in allowing me to... remain out here."

You move your lance, letting your umbilical cord be lifted up by the neuron flies again. They resume their previous position, drifting behind and slightly above your head, something you can only determine from the faint tugging of the base of your umbilical cord. "Getting more of them will increase how much information I can store, but it won't retroactively provide me with the information I left behind in my can. They're a failsafe, of sorts." You tap the end of your lance against the ground with a huff. "And I don't need Five Pebbles' neuron flies. I can just make more myself."

#whoops! obsolete mechanic never mentioned again!#yeah they can just make more. they Have made more in the past #they just haven't needed to recently #also ahaha anon you have stumbled into the Tip of the iceberg of the worldbuilding i've done for this story #i have Extensive Notes on how the puppets and the superstructure function #thank you for letting me share some of it :)#innocence won't save you #unparalleled innocence #rain world #whispers for innocence #also i apologize if. this was supposed to be an action. i genuinely couldn't tell #recent actions haven't been headed with > that symbol lately #at least those sent through asks #so i can't tell if these are just questions #this fit better as its own post anyway though

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