#i'm just projecting a lot of feelings onto them rn ignore me

[wesperbrekkered]

🤡 ✨⛔️👀 for the fic ask game please!🫶🏻

Thank youuu!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I don't normally write things that make me laugh because I tend to overthink my own humour (love that for me 😒) but this one from the Spiderverse fic got a little giggle out of me:

“If by movie night you mean making out with me until I can’t breathe, then yeah,” Wylan said easily, his eyes squinting into tiny white slits and oh hell.

“Cool,” Jesper said, feeling decidedly not cool at all.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Uhhh that is the hardest question ever!! But I guess I really do like how I write angst (nobody is surprised...). I suppose I'm a little chuffed at the way I can describe internal conflict and the feeling of emotional pain to the point even I can tear up sometimes, which doesn't happen easily!

(Is this because i just self project my own shit onto Jesper?? Maybe...)

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Many... many many... Two of the wips in wip list rn actually, the Soulmate AU (Artwork Etched Onto Scars) and the domestic Fluff one (Rose Tinted Glasses) because I just could not physically get into it!! I find writing Fluff extremely hard for me, so in order to be able to enjoy writing it I need to love the concept, which I don't with either of those wips. However, I am trying to finish them, slowly but surely, so they may see the light of day!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Hehe gladly! The wip I'm most excited for is the Detective AU (50 Ways To Kill A Man) because I read a lot of crime novels (Dick Frances my beloved) so I've got tons of random, murder solving related things in my head that I can pop into this!

It's going to follow Jesper, a detective who's been on the force for nearly ten years, as he attempts to solve an obscure murder curse while Wylan, the new guy, is assigned to the case to shadow Jesper.

While they're solving this case, more murders pop up with similar descriptions but are older deaths that make the two believe that they are possibly dealing with a serial killer or a revenge death.

I won't say much more (cos spoilers) but I'm SO excited to finally let you guys reas this!!

Here's a lil snippet from it, cos yeah.

Jesper slammed the phone down with a triumphant grin.

Across the table from him, Inej raised a curious eyebrow. “What’s got you all excited?” She asked somewhat sceptically, pausing on her report. Leaning back on his chair, Jesper crossed his arms behind his head, grinning. “My darling Inej,” he said, ignoring her eyeroll, “Councillor Hoede is dead!”

Inej frowned, “you shouldn’t be so happy over someone’s death,” she scolded, but Jesper only shook his head. “Okay first of all,” he said with a pointed finger, “Hoede is a piece of shit for whom I have no sympathy for.” Inej's frown didn’t let up, but her mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly, which Jesper took as a win.

“Secondly, nobody knows how he died, so yours truly as been assigned to figure out how the old fecker actually kicked it.”

His words may have been disrespectful, but Jesper couldn’t find it in him to care. None of the members of the Merchant Council ever gave a shit about anyone under their station, and Hoede in particular was notorious for paying his workers less then a liveable wage. Screw him for being more excited about paying his own bills with this murder case.

#jesper fahey #wesper fanfic #send anons #wesper #six of crows #crooked kingdom #writing prompts #wylan x jesper #six of crows jesper #jesper x wylan

[berylliumliumite]

come here boy. grabs you by the shoulder. i need you to talk about denima. i need you to go into your local gameshop and i need you to ask about denima to anyone who will listen. i need you to do this. do not come back until you have talked about denima. /j ref

AND.. COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED..... THE PEOPLE ASK ME TO TALK ABOUT DENIMA (i asked two times) (three if you count telling ark about it on call)

Anyway as an aro person I really relate to Denima in the summer party arc a lot. Especially as a scared 8th grader reading the comic, it just... it hits me now that I understand/understood exactly how she felt in that moment of seeing Beryll on call with Kuiper instead of enjoying the party.

SO LIKE. here's the whole deal. I did not like her for awhile when I was first introduced to her. Part of it was something I've just grown out from, i.e. shipping; I still do a fair amount of shipping, but I think it's so much more interesting to think about like. being aromantic and relationships in that context rather than trying to project myself onto characters I'll never fully understand because they're Not aromantic. But I understand Denima, even if she isn't, because more than ever I read her as aromantic.

Esp as like, a woman character, I feel like she gets a lot of hate. And yes she's not the main focus of the blog nor a main character and as such she will be ignored by the fans unless she does something horribly wrong like in the summer party arc. But I feel like while Beryll and Denima might be a little upset with each other rn / not understanding each other (in part because Beryll has not told her about like. the whole Crush On Kuiper + has not been really talking to her at all from what I understand) what she did wasn't... that horrible, it was like. an outburst yes from insecurity yes but maybe its because I don't understand relationships that well that I am like. "excusing" her actions (I actually think that yes there's a very bad element to trying to say who gets to be friends with who so I am not defending that) but I am trying to say that if she's insecure, esp since Beryll is her best friend, we don't have to go all crazy on her. like it's okay to simmer down a bit. like yes she's insecure and shouldn't be pushing Beryll to Not be friends with Kuiper but at the same time I don't think what she did was awful/irredeemable/shes a bad person.

But like as an aro person esp before I found my partner I was totally like. alone in the world. I'm autistic and schizoaffective and that severely impacts my speech patterns/how I view the world/relationships. And yes I had friends but if I remember correctly whoever was the host at the time didn't feel that connected to them. It was a strange existence, where they were constantly worried about being "left behind" for a romantic partner/different friend while at the same time being unable to express these feelings and disconnected from people they called friends. Denima did express these feelings, maybe in a Bad and Toxic Way but she did, and for that they Really Did Not Like Her

So reading her as aromantic feels so good to us. She's aromantic; she wants her best friend back. We even relate to her as an autistic person; change, such as a change in relationships, is Hard and Scary and Awful and Must be avoided at All Costs. So maybe these two things make it easier for us to relate to her and sympathize with her. Idk.

Anyway so we feel like there's a lot of nuance when it comes to Denima but it boils down to I LOVE DENIMA "DISASTER MASTER" DIASTIER

#crab speaks #igi on main #:3 THANK U ARK

[amazinglyegg]

any general headcanons for carrington ?

he is . my favorite fictional man rn . hope you don't mind me taking advantage of the fact that you like him as well and your asks always being open BKDCJSXBSN

Dude I LOVE seeing you in my asks dw!!! I haven't thought about my blorbo Carrington in so long I'm going to have fun with this <3<3<3

Doctor Carrington Headcanons!

Okay let's get this out of the way: he's not just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole!

The dude's so damn stressed all the time! Especially after what happened at Switchboard, he feels responsible because he's the second in command

That's one of the reasons Des trusts him so much. He's not good at lying or recon work but he is good at self-dicipline, planning, and being the only mature one.

Although I feel like he's always been a bit moody, even before all that

Given that everyone other than Des and PAM are basically children with guns (looking at you especially, Deacon) he ends up feeling like a parent to most of the other agents

And he really hates feeling like a parent

This is a bit out there so bear with me, but at some point before he joined the Railroad he managed to help a child. Maybe one who survived an Institute raid on a settlement? They were the only survivor and he took them under his wing.

Despite his best efforts the child died from a preventable cause, like an infection

It really hit him hard and despite his trauma around helping vulnerable people (especially children) he became a doctor so others wouldn't have to suffer like the kid did

Then the Railroad contacted him and you know the rest

He prefers working in the Railroad over anywhere else, though. He's very introverted and appreciates the familiar faces and quiet work environment, plus most agents tend to respect him purely because he's been working there for ten or more years

He has dyslexia. Don't know where this headcanon came from. I think it was me projecting onto him but then I made it Canon In My Mind when I vaguely mentioned it in my Carrington fic (heed the tags if you're gonna read)

He gets headaches often due to his dyslexia and the ridiculous amount of paper work he has to go through (where does Des even get all that paper and ink!?), plus a fair share of sleep deprivation, dehydration, stress...

Deep down he worries a lot for the other agents. If Glory dies (I refuse to let Glory's death be canon in my mind, hence the if) it permanently messes with him and his self worth

He gives off angry Sudoku player vibes. Glory or Des will be like "chill out it's supposed to be relaxing" and Carrington is losing his mind like "where the HELL do I put the DAMN FIVE"

A lot of fanon says him and Deacon genuinely hate each other but I really disagree

He respects Deacon a lot and recognizes that he does a lot more behind the scenes than anyone knows, but he also realizes just how much of a martyr he is and just how little he cares about his own health

In the past, whenever Deacon came back hurt or sick, Carrington would try to convince him to slow down, stop running into danger, and even open up about his problems. Needless to say it didn't work.

They've got something alike to a friendship going, though. Deacon teases him, all in good fun, and Carrington doesn't point out when he's limping around HQ, or when he "borrows" a stimpack or two from his desk. He just leaves out painkillers and antibiotics in hopes Deacon with "borrow" those, too.

I'm very... partial on his relationship with Tom or Des

I feel like Tom's got A Lot Going On and it's kinda fucky that the Railroad seemingly caused his schizophrenia (?) to develop and ignored it because they needed him?

Although if anything it sounds like Carrington was worried about his health and Des was the one to ignore it, hopefully out of ignorance and not purposfully. I can't imagine Des knowingly letting Tom fall into drug addictions and paranoia, and Carrington is vocal enough that he probably would have argued with Des if he knew it was getting that bad as well

I like to think he keeps a close eye on Tom either way. He's always trying to pick up books on mental health because he's mostly focused on physical health in his day to day life, and he's taught Tom some grounding strategies over the years.

#i know this wildly jumps between depressing and funny IM SORRY #poor guys just kinda fucked up and surrounded by goofy idiots who are also kinda fucked up #more people need to be talking about him I cant think all by myself #especially that part with des ignoring toms health?? i feel like it'd be interesting to go into when it comes to the railroads morality #focusing on synths over humans is one thing... actively harming their own agents to help their cause is different #OKAY im DONE RAMBLING im SORRY #fallout 4 #railroad #doctor carrington #desdemona #deacon #tinker tom #headcanons

[medicaltechnician]

I think I figured it out, i guess i dont know. Um I'm just a little zooted rn. But I think I kin a hlvrai gordon. A very different one? I just remember being in uni studying physics n stuff. Working part time in Black Mesa (Or was it fulltime, I think it was full time). And to destress I guess I created this story in my head. The Science Team and other. Maybe at some point I made them real. Like coded them and made a game just for myself. Maybe it was for a class project that I got a little obsessive over as the stress and school piled up.

I miss them. I miss them a lot.

Maybe I lived in a lot of fiction in that world, hell I still do.

Pyschologically I'm just projecting what I'm doing now onto- Yea. It's complicated and I don't mind. Kin is nice. It's nice to fall back on to after trying to ignore it for a while. Fun to mix it with weed to cause it's like hightens the experience for me. Since I don't really, have a partner to bounce it back off of now, and I smoke too much I probably have dulled this feeling in the natural.

#tw weed mention #hlvrai kin #this post got philosophical af #sorry its the weed

[raazberry]

every day i think about how jared says richard's name when he's concerned for him or feels betrayed by him... it's like "richard...." in a very small voice and i know that that's a very specific thing to go insane over but just. the way he says it. so... tenderly? i don't like that word very much but it's accurate and he just loves richard so much and just wants to be given permission to take care of him and it just means so much to me

#jared cares richard so much #and the opposite is true too #whenever richard is pumped and jared's around he's just like JARED!!!!! #like an excited dog #i'm just projecting a lot of feelings onto them rn ignore me #jarrich #silicon valley #zzz

[dreamedofyou]

Before today I was fully on the gramblack train with my clown theories and headcanons and all. Despite the show clearly screaming "Gram likes Eugene" at us I really deluded myself into believing it was all just a misdirect and that it can all be explained away by Gram just projecting onto Eugene, but uh... I don't know what to tell you other than today's episode being pretty clear that Gram does indeed like Eugene, as simple as that. With how deranged I've been over the prospect of gramblack, I expected to feel really disappointed about the show ruining that potential (like I fully expected to be so annoyed by the wasted potential that I wouldn't even come on here to talk about it) but the opposite happened? I'm kind of... glad that gramblack won't be canon now??

And it's honestly because of the way they made me dislike Black this episode. I go into it more here but at this point I just struggle to see why anyone would fall for someone like Black (I mean, Eugene evidently did but I'm seriously going "girl, how??" at her tbh) and I think both Gram and Eugene deserve better, quite frankly. Maybe the series will show us a different side to Black in a future episode and I'll get it then but I'm not really holding my breath. Tbh as things in canon stand now I'd prefer for all 3 characters to stay single. I really liked Eugene rejecting Gram (and telling him she simply wants to be alone at the moment) because combined with her "I don't want to be just some chick chasing after a guy. It's pathetic" line, they're really portraying her as someone that knows her self-worth as an individual, not as "someone's girlfriend" and as a woman whose life doesn't revolve around constantly having a boyfriend (which is so often how female characters are portrayed on tv, especially in BLs). I love that Not Me is going against that (at least for now) and I feel like her getting with Gram would take away from that message. Though I do feel like they'll have her think things through and by the end of the series she'll decide to get together with Gram after all, but I hope not. Black as we know him now is just not capable of having a healthy relationship, period. We've heard from Eugene how he treated her at times. I think I've been guilty of ignoring the red flags whenever she talked about his negative traits because I interpreted them differently but like... there really were a lot of red flags with him.

That being said, there are still things that confuse the hell out of me when it comes to Gram and Black's relationship. For example, how everyone kept mentioning they were together literally "all the time," how touchy Gram was with "Black" from the get-go as if that was normal for them, how he told "Black" to just crash at his place as if that was normal for them too... All of those things just aren't clicking with the Black we got to meet in the flesh for the first time. I find it hard to imagine THIS Black would ever allow himself to get that close to another person. I imagine anyone would know getting too touchy-feely with him would get shoved away in annoyance. And yet Gram's first interaction with "Black" on the show was him draping his arm over "Black's" shoulders with a huge smile on his face. I imagine no one would dare ask Black to bandage his hand because they knew if they did so, they'd get a death stare and him telling them he can bandage it himself and that they should mind their own business. And yet Gram asked (and did it). So this must have been normal for them but it's so hard for me to imagine Black letting it happen, especially since rn he doesn't seem to give two shits about the gang, Gram included. Idk, it's all just a bit confusing to me?? Like I'm hoping we get an explanation but idk if we will and it'll keep bothering me for the rest of my existence (or at least until I move on).

#idk this is messy but what I'm trying to say is I'm really sad because of the wasted potential I see in what gramblack COULD HAVE been #(if they made black less cruel and didn't have gram crush on eugene) #but as things stand now I'm back to being a danyok and seanwhite hoe #gramblack #gram x black #not me #not me series #not me the series #gram #black #eugene #(I might still read gramblack fics though because the fanfic versions of gram and black are superior lol)

[princess-hope-selfships]

~✨ Welcome to my Self Insert Blog ✨~

Hello, my name is Hope, and I'm an adult selfshipper who's been making self inserts and doing selfships since I was a kid! I'm 28, omnisexual/bisexual, and my pronouns are she/her. I am plus size, mixed race, and neurodivergent as well.

💖 F/O and Self Insert List 💖

Coming soon lol I'm in the process of editing this blog rn 😅

My current big faves are: Demyx from Kingdom Hearts 2, Arthur from Red Dead Redemption, and Alastor from Hazbin Hotel.

I have some problematic faves! I consume media with a critical mind, I promise.

I project a lot of my neurodivergent and queer experiences onto my faves - if a headcanon of mine makes you upset, feel free to unfollow, ignore, or block me!

If you see a character who is a minor, it's because they're a familial fave and are viewed as a child of mine - I do NOT tolerate those who are adults and ship romantically with minors, or age up minors to ship with them romantically and will NEVER do this myself.

💖 BYF/DNI 💖

Here's a few things to keep in mind before you follow or interact!

I'm not entirely comfortable with sharing faves. I don't mind if you ship with my faves, I just really don't wanna talk about it. Also, it would be super cool if you didn't reblog our shared faves from my blog - if you see a post you really like, reblog from the source or whoever I reblogged from!

I am extremely grossed out by people who age up characters who are minors in order to selfship romantically with them.

I do not tailor my content to be minor-friendly, nor do I intend to make my blog a completely minor friendly space. That said, if you are a minor, please refrain from interacting.

I am an ace inclusionist, I fully believe aces and aros are LGBT+ regardless of their other orientations, and if you're an exclusionist, no, I'm not going to discuss it with you!

I have some problematic faves! This either means, faves with a dubious sense morality or faves from problematic sources. I recognize and am fully aware of that problematic content and I consume the media they are from carefully and with a critical mind, so rest assured.

DNI if you are going to challenge me about my problematic faves! Like, at all! Just block me, it's totally free and easy to do! ✨

DNI if you fall into the general criteria. Homophobic, transphobic, racist, pedophile, pedo-apologist (yes, that means you, proshippers, MAPs and NOMAPs) or any of that sort of thing.

And that's it! Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate you and your F/Os love you so much!!!

[bangchanswolfpelt]

BRUH I. FORGOT U LIKE GGS/SOLOISTS TOO. I’m a FREAK for mamamoo and jessi uGH. Im super into itzy too and trying to get into more ggs but im simply too gay to ignore the twinks 💀💀 and idk how I forgot about day6 the first time around but I love them too. My little sister loves day6 and p1h so she’s dragged me into them too lol

the one post of urs I can remember in particular is the one about Felix giving u a weekly gender crisis because you can’t decide if you want him to call you mommy or daddy and I’ve NEVER related to a post more LMFAO.

you’re getting a like spam rn cuz I’m going back and liking all the post I was previously lurking on so anonymity gone but tbh I’m going to roll up to your dms at some point and talk to you about my fics Cuz your brain is on smth else damn.

either way I got places to be in like. an hour and I’m being stupid and getting horny for kpop boys. I’ve really given up today and it’s great. Skipping classes, thinkin about railing boys, n getting high?? cheers

- 👾

yesssssss, i love to see love for Mamamoo 😭 god, and Jessi makes an absolute mess of me, i would literally do anything for her 😭😭😭

i feel you about wanting to get into more girl groups 🥲 trying to give women in kpop more love has mostly gotten me into a lot of soloists, but i don't really know how to write for them? like, i feel like unless they were in a group previously, or they're someone who's almost known for their personality first (lookin at you, jesse and jay and eric 🤨), it's kinda hard to get into writing rpf for solo idols?? (although seeing CL with DPR Ian and DPR Live at HITC has maybe given me a little more fuel on that particular front 👀)

ahahaha, i was in the process of getting to know Day6, but in light of... 👀 things... 👀 getting into the whole group on a level where i'm writing for them all seems less likely 😅 it's a weird time to try to become a myday rn 💀

and yooooooooo, it's nice to hear that landed for someone else!! kpop seriously gives me Gender Feels in a way i was not expecting at all 😭 (should we talk about the way Min Yoongi put a schoolgirl uniform on exactly once and my brain decided that was the sign to project All The Gender Feelings onto him? probably not.) at some point, i gotta start posting more Gender Weird stuff 🥴

i did catch the like spam this time!!!! 😈 and i hope you had a good day skipping class!!💕 sometimes you just need a mental health day, haha💕💕💕

#👾 anon #mail corner 📬

[astronomical-bagel]

I'm really interested about the angst you see in ATHD, because I'm sure I've missed out on a lot of it because it wasn't obvious sjsbsjsk - 🕊

Oh hey dove!! And thanks for asking about it! I have like a lot of disjointed thoughts on it so I’ll just kinda write down my thoughts as I rewatch it again!

• So, when Patton tells Roman to be nice (2:20), Roman IMMEDIATELY apologizes and rectified his mistake—despite no knowing what he did was wrong in the first place. This moment actually kills me because you can just ~hear~ the uncertainty and insecurity in his voice, and when he stutters when trying to apologize?? Good shit.

Also you seen those posts talking about how Roman literally apologizes for everything now, and how no one really appreciates how much he’s trying and still sees him as really mean and egotistical?? This moment shows that perfectly, from Roman rushing to fix his mistake so they won’t be mad at him, Patton calling Roman mean in the first place (I’m still having trouble seeing what he did wrong lmao), to Virgil making faces at Roman after he apologizes. It just stands out to me, idk.

• at 5:00, Roman says, ““he just needs something to look forward to.” And hhhh you can Tell that he’s thinking about the callback. Thomas may be watching this to distract himself from the party but Roman is distracting himself from the fact that he voluntarily flushed his dreams down the metaphorical ice toilet 

 •not quite angst but Roman’s “Oh.” Face at 6:30 when he realized he misinterpreted what Virgil said.

•the “Hans evil plotting face” part at 7:30 always kinda confused me, although it could just be because my personal interpretation of the movie. Like,,, I personally think that, at first, Hans didn’t have any evil plans. Like—he didn’t even know who Anna was at first. I just find it interesting that Roman ““the romantic”  Sanders didn’t really think that Hans’s smile wasn’t genuine. Is it bc of his black and white mentality of am I reading too into it?

•I’ve already mentioned the “the first person to give her attention was taking advantage of her” part (around 8:15) part in another post, so I won’t go into that rn

•okay this isn’t Roman angst BUT CAN I POINT OUT THAT PATTON “REPRESSION” SANDERS WAS THE ONE TO SING “DONT LET THEM IN DONT LET THEM SEE” BECAUSE THAT IS AN AMAZING DETAIL

•Roman’s ““bridge speech” at 9:20 kinda seems like it could apply to him, somehow? Like,,,if the “storm” was missing the callback? It it seems important. Also the, ““lie low in our kingdom of isolation” part  I can’t believe that Thomas predicted quarantine , like...hmmmm ....it just sticks out to me for some reason

•10:12 ““if only there was someone out there who loves you” *blinks rapidly* 

^^Okay, despite that being as funny as shit, I can’t??? Interpret expressions??? very well?? But like, this seems like another one of Roman’s ““cry for help”s that everyone ignores for some reason?? Hmmm.

•10:35, ive already made a post about Roman idealizing and (I think) romanticizing sacrifice (just another thing to ad to the list of Roman’s self-destructive thinking), so I won’t go over it here 

•13:44 when Logan says “both of which take place elsewhere”, the camera goes to Roman for a sec?? He looks like that line kinda,,, meant something to him?? In the negative way?? Like I said, I’m shit at interpreting expressions, but that part really stuck out to me for some reason.  fixer upper: throw a little love their way and you’ll bring out their best!!

Me, crying: Please give Roman love I’m begging you

Roman glaring at Janus hits different after pof 

 • Hey you know how I said that Roman was idealizing and romanticizing Olaf’s (almost) sacrifice??? Well, in Roman’s fanfiction, Olaf ACTUALLY dies :))

OKAY now that I’ve got the actual episode out of the way, can I just talk about Roman’s onsie for a sec??? I was looking up different types of horns (for my ef!roman), and then I started wondering,,, why did roman choose the Beast?? I heard it was because Thomas was doing a play like that at the time, but I’m not sure if that’s true or not.  In Dark Side of Disney, even Roman doesn’t really like beauty and the beast. Virgil calls the movie  out abt Stockholm syndrome, but Roman defends it saying, “It’s about a love that transcends outward appearances”, but im thinking....in Roman’s situation, what if it’s inner appearances, instead?

I mean, we’ve all seen he’s starved for love and complements, to feel like he’s wanted and worthy— heck, in this episode alone there are like three instances where this showed, and this is only like twenty minutes long— so like,,, I feel like his onsie would reflect that? He doesn’t think berry highly of himself, either. He feels guilty about the smallest things and he probably feels like hes shit rn. It’d make sense for him to project onto the “unlovable, horrible beast” that was cursed for being too mean and self-centered.

Anyways, that’s all I got, and it’s like five twenty five and the birds are starting to chirp, so I’ll go the bed now. Thanks for asking about the Roman angst tho! It was really fun to write all my thoughts and theories down!

#long post #ts Roman #Roman Sanders #Roman angst #Roman Sanders angst #romangst #astronomical asks #dove anon #🕊anon #is that all?? I think that’s all

[blueberryrock]

I'm so tired rn, it is currently 12:49 am so im going to bed after this. But enjoy!

(Blue's pov)

"Are you sure you can handle this?" I look down at the tiny pink gem in front of me.

"Of course, I've seen Pink do it a bunch of times" Spinel gives one of the biggest grins I've ever seen.

"A-and you know what to do? " I ask another question "oh and you know some of the rules....right?" I shift nervously on my sore feet.

"Rules?" Spinel shoots me a confused look "how can a ball have rules?"

"Well, there aren't many, just simple ones" I cross my arms "like for instance, we're not allowed to leave our seats, although White has definitely changed that one.....oh and cannons can't be in the ballroom, or the castle for that matter" I stroke my chin trying to think of any rules.

"Well, liquids are no longer forbidden, cause it turns out that Steven is about seventy percent water...."  I trail off.

"Speaking of steven, is he coming?" Spinel bounces happily in place.

"I think so, he said that he would come with gifts, although I don't exactly know what gifts he could make..since we are quite bigger then him" I shrug.

"Quite?" Spinel crosses her arms.

I chuckle and roll my eyes "you should probably go and get the ball ready, and is there a dress code" I cursorily ask.

"Dress code?" Spinel scratches her head.

"Yeah, like we could dress...I don't know...nicer? Or different at least" I try to explain but Spinel just shrugs.

"That sounds good, I think I will try something new but I don't really know, you can too if you'd like, that goes for Yellow and White too" Spinel turns around "but like you said, I've got work to do" she starts running down the empty hallway we were talking in.

"And if you need any help, you can always call me or Steven, he has thrown at least two balls" I shout after her. I definitely shouldn't tell her that the first ball turned into a disaster, but it wasn't his fault...

A spike of pain washes over me, starting from my feet and quickly ends as soon as it reaches my mid-calf.

I sigh, I should go and sit down, maybe I'll run a bath. Yeah, that sounds nice. I turn around and painfully make my way to my chambers. As soon as the doors close behind me I instantly phase into nothing but a very loose and thin blue shirt and a pair of comfortable panties.

I slowly make my way across my room towards my extraction chambers (which everyone now calls it a bathroom).

I hit the now higher panel and the doors in front of me open, letting the slightly cold air into the room. I shiver when my bare feet touch the freezing tile floor, but I try my best to ignore it and turn on the bath.

As soon as the room becomes filled to the brim with steam. I phase away the rest of my clothes, and carefully lower myself into the warm water.

I let out a relaxed sigh as I finally make contact with the bottom and sit down. This time I accidentally filled the bath with to much water and it's now up to my chin.

I gently place my hand on my big baby bump, ever since I opened up to Yellow, I've been feeling..... better I guess...I'm certainly not one hundred percent a-okay, but I've been feeling happier about the gemlings.

Every now and then I occasionally have a few bad thoughts, but I'm glad that I have Yellow to help me with it, I just can't help but feel like I'm dragging Yellow.

I shake my head trying to get rid of that last thought, I need to think of something else...hmm what should I wear to Spinel's ball?

She didn't really specify if there was going to be a dress code or not. I smile as a wonderful idea comes to mind, I should wear the dress I wore to my first ball! I will have to make some adjustments, I rub my baby bump, man Yellow will love it!

I quickly finish my lovely bath and I wrap a towel around my body and hair. I sit down on my very comfortable stool in front of my vanity, I unwrap my now wet towel from my hair, I dry my soaking wet hair as best as I can with the towel before I instantly remove all the water from it with my powers.

I toss the damp towel onto the floor, but before it actually lands on the ground it phases away.

I grab my new blue hairbrush and I run it through my very tangled hair, I faintly hum some human song. Humming quickly turns into quietly singing.

"From the shell, the song of the sea" I softly sing to myself, I shapeshift my hair to get rid of my loop so I can braid my hair "neither quiet nor calm, searching for love again".

I easily hum the rest of the song as I quickly and effortlessly finish my long braid, I unnecessarily fiddle with the end of my braid, trying to make it not fall apart. I sigh as I throw the end of it over my shoulder, what time is it? I pull up a screen to find that Spinel's ball is in five hours.

I droop onto my vanity and let out another sigh, I should probably finish designing the gemlings little room, but all I need are the colors. If it's going to be anything like that weird vivid dream I had, I should be able to guess the colors correctly.

But alas, I am not a sapphire. The medical pearl did say that the next appointment I'll have should tell us what colors they might be.

I sit straight up and whip around at the sound of my doors opening, I smile when Yellow diamond steps into my room. She turns on my crystal chandelier as she grumbles something to herself.

"I don't understand how you can see so well in the dark" she walks directly towards me and smiles "it's like a new power, and I lovee what you did with your hair your hair"

"Thank you" I grab her hips and pull her closer, I wrap my arms around her and stand up "I wanted to do something new for Spinel's ball, while the braid may not be entirely new, but what I'm planning is...also not entirely new" I quietly giggle "but I know you'll love it"

"You know I'll love anything you'll do, even if you've done it before" Yellow plants a soft kiss on top of my head.

"I know, I know" I release my hold from her and I grab my still open screen "Since you are here, I wanted to show you the nursery design for our gemlings!"

I pull up the blueprints and proudly show her, she grabs the screen and studies each picture for a few seconds before moving onto the next one.

"They look good, but what is the color scheme?" Yellow hands me the screen back.

"I wanted to do the colors of what the gemlings are, but that'll have to wait a couple of days or so" I pull up the time and date again "well, it says the next appointment is actually tomorrow, so the plans will be done quickly"

A sudden rush of fatigue washes over me, I let out a yawn as I dismiss the screen "I think I'm going to take a nap before the ball" I phase into a soft shirt and pants.

I walk around Yellow and head straight for my bed "wake me up at least half a cycle before it starts." I pull all the blankets onto me.

"Noted" Yellow lays down right beside me, I lay down on my back as Yellow messes with my braid, she hums as I flip onto my side, trying to find a good position.

I let out a very long and relaxed sigh as I finally get comfortable, I feel myself drift into slumber as Yellow finishes humming.

"Have a good nap, I'll be back to wake you up" She whispers, I grumble something back to her, but I don't know what it was.

Since I took a nap I surprisingly didn't have a dream, I just fell asleep then bam! Instantly woke up.

"Blue? You said to wake you up now, so I need you to wake up" Yellow shakes me awake.

"Hmmm" I sit up, I wipe the sleep from my eyes, I squint from the light and I turn to the golden diamond next to me.

"Yellow? Mmm, what time is it?" I pull back the very warm covers and shiver slightly as Yellow helps me off of the bed.

"It's about a cycle till the ball, I decided you might need some time to actually wake up" Yellow let's go of me, I let out a groan as I stretch my arms.

"It seems like I did the right thing" Yellow hands me a glass of water.

"Thank you" I croak, I take a few sips of the cold water, I hand her the glass as I yawn.

After a few minutes of Yellow talking to me, making sure I don't fall asleep again, I push her out of the room so I can get ready.

I sit back down on my vanity chair and I fix my messy braid, damn, I knew I should've waited until after I took a nap. But then again, I didn't know that I'd actually take one...

As soon as my braid is done, I stand up and phase off my pajamas and I put on a comfortable pair of matching panties and a bra.

Now, this is the hard part, I have to remember what my dress looked like. It really won't be hard, but it was a very very long time ago.

As soon as remember what the dress I wore for my first ball looks like, I phase it on. I quickly adjust the waist so it's not clinging to my body, but instead it flowing at the bottom.

I turn around to face the mirror, I take a few steps back to see the entire dress.

And it's almost just how I remember it.

The top clings to my form, I had to just the neckline so it ends at the tip of my gem, I kept the long sleeves but moved the end of them just an inch or two back. The color of the entire dress is still blue, but as dark as the night sky, and it still shimmers when I move.

Moving past my waist, I shortened the slit by my leg a lot, so now it goes from my mid-calf to my ankles, which is where the dress stops, I also added the same sized slit on the other side.

This time I finally put on shoes, but they are a simple pair of knee-length boots with a lot of extra padding inside.

I smooth down the front of the dress, I smile as the familiar softness tickles my hands. A familiar chime breaks the silence in my room "come in" I half yell.

I sit back down on my plush stool as the big blue doors open. Steven, Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie walk into my room.

Steven and Pearl laugh at something that Amethyst had probably said, and in Steven's and Connie's hands are some big wrapped items.

As soon as Connie sees me, she accidentally drops the gifts she was carrying and her brown eyes go wide.

I push myself off of the stool and walk over to them "is something wrong" I ask the shocked Connie as I pick up the thing she dropped.

"N-no, nothing is wrong" she shakes her head and smiles "it's just that Steven said that you were at least six months in, but I had no idea you were." I cut her off "Big? Huge?" I smile little.

"Well, no, I was going to say, I had no idea you were so pregnant" she nervously laughs "and your dress looks amazing!"

I slightly blush from the complement. "Well, I am carrying twins" I smile warmly, I gently place my hand on my belly. I examine the nicely wrapped item, it's wrapped in different styles of a human material, which I think is paper and it fits perfectly in my hand. "You guys really didn't need to bring us anything."

"Well, my art teacher had me and my class make stuffed animals" I neatly unwrap all the paper to reveal a very soft, mixed fabric, lion "and I decided to go all out." Connie very proudly says.

I neatly place the paper on my vanity and inspect the toy lion. It has stitched black eyes and a black heart-shaped nose, with a wild rainbow mane and matching tail.

"It may not be the prettiest thing in the world, but I'm pretty sure that bad boy gave me an A+ for the rest of the year" Connie smiles "and it took me a little more than a week to make it, not including the time it took to gather the materials, luckily my mom and dad were there to help me."

I put the adorable lion on my vanity and I grab the gift that Steven was holding, "Man, you do not know how long it took to wrap those, and how much wrapping paper it took" Steven smiles as I once again, neatly take the paper off.

"As I said, you really didn't need to bring us anything, but I really do appreciate it" I happily say, I place all the paper on the vanity with the other paper.

In my hand is a beautiful wooden box with a wind-up on the back, it's a lovely shade of dark green with the diamond insignia top.

"C'mon, wind it up!" Steven excitedly says.

I smile at his lack of patience, I delicately wind up the box, as excitement builds inside me with each crank.

Suddenly the little box makes a strange CLICK sound and a wonderful tune starts playing, I shoot a confused look towards Steven. But he just looks at me with what I think are tearful eyes.

The song ends quickly, Steven sighs "The song is called you are my sunshine, my dad would sing that to me whenever I got scared, I'll teach you the lyrics later, but now we've got a ball to attend!" Steven turns on his heel towards the door.

"I'll be right after you" I call out to him and his friends as they leave. I quickly set the box next to the lion, I take one last glance over my outfit before I turn around and leave.

(At the ball)

I stand in front of familiar ballroom doors, this time I'm not being introduced to gems, this time I'm just going to go in and enjoy the ball without any pressure, what so ever.

I take a deep breath in, hold my head up high, and hit the panel that opens the doors. Music fills up the small hallway I'm standing in, I walk into the very crowded room. I spot Steven and Connie dancing with a multitude of different gems and fusions.

I also see Spinel dancing with Amethyst and a handful of other quartzes, and Pearl talking to Blue and Yellow Pearl. I carefully move towards one of the back corners of the room, once I'm there I look around the room trying to find Yellow, I don't think she's here. I'd would've spotted her by now.

I sadly sigh, guess I'll have to wait for some time. As I wait I eagerly watch the only door that we can fit through, and it hasn't been all bad, a lot of different gems came up to me to say hello and to congratulate me. One gem even brought me a tray of brown and white sweets, which attracted Steven and Connie. They then told me the sweets were called 'chocolate', and I told them I love the really dark ones, which turned out to be dark chocolate.

They did have to take the tray away from me before I ate it all, then the diamond doors opened and I got very excited, but then White Diamond appeared then the doors remained close for quite a while.

She seemed to easily notice my mood and made quickly walked over to me.

"I'm going to assume you're waiting for Yellow?" White rests her back against the wall.

"Well...yeah" I sigh "I wanted to surprise her by putting on the dress from my first ball" when I finished my sentence, White did a double-take on my outfit.

"Oh wow, I didn't even notice" She runs her hand over my covered arm "you still look as beautiful as the day you first put it on"

I blush from the compliment "look, this time I actually put on shoes!" I lift my dress and flaunt my boots.

White laughs "they're not the heels that go with the dress, but those are pretty close".

I let go of my dress "I don't understand how you and Yellow can wear something with heels, I'd trip in them very easily"

"Which is why I let you go barefoot" White smiles warmly.

I smile back. "Anyways, I've really only came to the ball to say hello to every, so after that, I'm probably going to leave" I nod as White pushes herself off of the wall and heads towards Steven and his friends.

I sigh and rest my head against the hard stone wall. I continue to watch the door until Yellow diamond finally walks through it. Happiness builds inside of me as she spots me.

She carefully makes her way across the very crowded ballroom floor, I frown as I notice a few sparks dance across her shoulders and chest.

She finally stops in front of me and sighs "I'm sorry for being so late, as soon as you pushed me out of your room a topaz said there was an emergency, so I had to deal with that, then I got a reminder that the ball has started so I quickly polished my armor and...wait..." Yellow takes a step away from me. A big smile creeps on to my face.

"Is that?" Yellow looks me up and down.

"In fact it is! I did have to make a few adjustments to the dress, but I kept it pretty much the same" I wrap my arms around Yellow, she does the same, she gives me a short but passionate kiss on the lips before she pulls away and leads me towards where everyone is dancing. "C'mon, let's join them."

"Okay, but only for a little bit" I grab her hand and wrap my arm and she twirls me.

We continue to dance for some time before I start to feel sick from all the chocolates, so we say goodbye and thank you to everyone before Yellow whisks me away to my room, where I then have a 'stomach ache' for a few hours.

I painfully groan into my plush pillow, Yellow lovingly rubs my aching pregnant belly.

"Just try to sleep" Yellow kisses my neck.

"C-can't.. hurts too much" I whimper.

"Steven said it'll go away soon, just sleep it off" Yellow slows down, she rubs slow soothing circles.

Unfortunately, her touch is very soothing, I can feel myself growing tired every second.

I let out a long yawn which turns into another groan "mmmm fine, I'll try to sleep, but I'm telling you it's not going to work" I grumble. I tightly close my eyes, trying to get my self to fall asleep.

It eventually works when I finally relax and mumble good night.

"Good night Blue" Yellow places a kiss on my head before I quickly pass out.

Splish

Splash

Sploosh

I'm going to bed, gn

#steven universe #blue diamond su #su yellow diamond #bellow diamond #fanfic #good night #stay home

[wigglecoin]

Hey these are some object ocs i have for a little show I’m thinking of! i have a lot so i will put some details about who they are under a read more!

ok so there are three photos here (as you can see) and i will start with the first (I’m sorry its so long)

Teams photo, blue team:                                                                                      this photo is also split into three parts so i will go one by one in this too

Sequin: sequin is a pretty arrogant character, who doesn’t actually do much for the team and rarely participates (before being nagged about it of course but even then not that much) he does have a friend (and alliance member) JoyBuzzer they both goof off together almost constantly. He thinks he is incredibly lovable and is flirty a lot of the time but never gets flirts, who knows how he would react to that ;) (me,i know,he gets flustered 9000)  and anyway all n all he's pretty oblivious about most things actually. ignorance is bliss i guess, he's also pretty narcissistic.

JB/JoyBuzzer: JB is a character who makes kinda dark humor/anti humor on the show (ex: why did Gram cracker fall of the swing? Cause she didn’t have any arms.) he’s also a pretty strong character I wouldn’t want to mess with. He is friends (and allies) with sequin and doesn’t really help him keep with the challenge as the two are usually off to talk about whatever. Sequin seems to be the character he cares most about and actually is a good pal to him, with other people however it’s a different story he sometimes will be at best apathetic about them/their feelings and at worst tease them (which is not the worst thing you could do but is still pretty bad) but sense sequin was able to get on his friend side it is not impossible to become friends with him. I would recommend staying on his good side if you can.

GC/Gram cracker/grammy(only if you’re a close friend): GC here is a quiet and pretty sensitive actually, she trys her hardest to be neutral to basically everything as to not have disagreements. will cry if you call her names. protect her. I’m considering having her be mute but I’m not really sure rn, even if she isn’t tho she doesn’t talk much regardless,she is also pretty indecisive, and probably wears flower crowns in secret.

Feather: feather is an interesting character (to myself at least, she was the first object oc i created after napkin) she is the most motivated of the characters to get the challenge done and done well. she might act bossy but she’s a real sweetheart 

BH/Bowler hat/hat/b-hat: he and cane went on to the show already knowing each other, but got chosen for opposite teams. his half of the opposing duo is a more practical half who originally wanted to be an author but was pulled into this by cane, tho he’s having a good time anyway! also they gay.

Teams photo, red team:

Cane: cane is the other half of the separated inseparable two he is more up in the clouds as they say, and has a more positive outlook then most in the cast actually whoops. he and b-hat treat the game more as a couples competition then a game show

Gum: gum is a more upbeat character but she still understands the goals of the challenge probably has the most friends tho, she more is the mom of the team then anything actually. she keeps sour candy in line most of the time and also is friends with radio she is more confused about why he has to be in his own team then mad about it tho, but she cant help because of the rules she tries to do it in a loop hole sort of way tho.

Key: key is actually based on a key i have in real life! He is a very soft spoken character who is never seen without his scarf which he does chew on sometimes (projecting onto my oc? What, Noooo) and is generally anxious but overall he’s kind of ignored by most of the team unless he is doing spectacularly or very poorly. PK seems to be the only one who recognizes him through the whole show, yet he still tries to help and wants to be more of a part of the group. he also really likes dinosaurs and dragons

PK/Plastic Knife: pk doesn’t really care much about the show but participates anyway, like almost complete apathy. participates i think out of a feeling of obligation. In like the middle of one of the episodes they get a dog because why not. you can’t tell them they can’t have a dog, well you can but they wont listen. what are you gonna do about it.

SC/Sour Candy: sour candy isn't really the friendliest of characters, he has a case of resting bich face. he can let very small things frustrate him and likes a challenge. the thing that motivates him most is spite, he thinks the blue team doesn't do enough for the challenge and complains about it constantly, most of his complaints are toward sequin and joy buzzer, because they don't even do anything their alliance is completely unproductive and not to mention two people is a little short for an alliance, they need somebody to help them become a functioning team! though he's a total hypocrite because he complains so much he doesn't do anything for the challenge either. gum normally is confused about why he even cares about the other team and they sometimes have arguments about why he does. 

Teams photo, green ’team’:

radio: radio is a dude who is pretty talkative, yet thats kind of hard to do when his own team consists of him and only him because tv doesn’t like him and he doesn’t even know why himself. is it unfair? yes. is it going to change? absolutely not. tho even still he’s pretty nice but hates tv because he placed him on his own team but he doesn’t even know why

TV, The host picture:                                                                                         next is the host tv, this picture is not split up in parts so you don’t need a more zoomed in photo of the picture right? if it would be better i could edit the post?

TV: TV is the host of this thing he does not stop smiling for any reason =) all n all he’s a good host to most on the show and is nice to all most everyone except radio who he hates, why he hates him i will keep a secret ;) not much is actually known about him personality wise tho.

Picture with other ocs:                                                                                         i don’t know which team these would be on and also PK’s dog/stool 

Lazer: lazer is a sort of closed off character and well as kinda secretly wants to take over the world. but honestly i would let her??? does not like being called anything other then lazer (not later pointer, or LP, or something else just lazer) she sounds more dangerous that way. probably has a leather jacket somewhere she wears around when she’s alone to practice being tough  

DS/Dandelion Seed/Dandy: a super excitable character lol, very random XD  she also doesn’t have legs if you have noticed and just floats around, an oc that has ocs is probably featured in cringe comps but h8rs gonna h8. brings more light to the whole show actually.

Flag: honestly i haven’t thought about him much unfortunately, he’s basically a wannabe superhero and tries to be one but is not that good, also he can change what his flag is cause why not

Stool/PK’s dog: just PKs dog but idk if it should be a stool or an actual beagle cause it is in the object world. do dogs even exist? what do you guys think? 

also this will probably be in web-comic form if i do this at all because i don’t know how to animate. now i feel really great actually because I’ve been working mostly procrastinating on this for like months whoops sorry (but I’m also kinda nervous about how people will think of these ocs lol)

#myartstuffs #myocs #object ocs #ii #sequin #joy buzzer #gram cracker #feather #bowler hat #cane #gum #key #plastic knife #sour candy #radio #tv #lazer #dandelion seed #flag #stool #what do you think? #I've put a lot of work into this help #i will reblog this again tomorrow to

[pixiechangeling]

aaah that sounds exhausting. do you have any free time you could schedule doctors appointment to/can you ask to leave early? also that sounds unfair from ur boyfriend.. like i was close (still am actually, just not their fp anymore) to someone w bpd so i get it can be tough sometimes but still. like if he feels exhausted/frustrated by it maybe he should take a look at himself&see is he handling it the most healthy way. i'm kinda projecting here tho, could be other stuff too.

(2) &i don't mean that u r a burden, of course not! but me&my friend had a big fallout at some point cause of my unwillingness to share too much of myself. but at the same time i was bad at putting boundaries. i wouldn't tell them if something was too much&that lead me to resent them. i did think at the time it was all mostly on her but now later on i think it was more of a vortex we both fed.(3) i guess what i mean is: i feel ur boyfriend should take a look at why he doesn't react/is disinterested in ur distress. where is that attitude coming from? sry if the analysis was not what u wanted! def don't mean to make u feel worse in any way. i do get along w my parents fairly well so yea i think so. one of my sisters is here for the summer too&other important ppl live in the city nearby. funny, town that once felt v suffocating is more comfortable now that i've had chance to leave lol

I don’t have any free time probably for another couple of weeks. But! I have an early finish one day next week so I’m gonna try and book in an appointment for then. I just made a note in my phone to remind me to do that tomorrow when the clinic opens. I totally understand that I’m A LOT to deal with at times. I mean, I’ve asked him to tell me when it’s too much or he needs time to himself or when he has his own stuff to attend to, but I don’t think he knows how to do that. Anyway, I know I used to put a lot onto him but I’ve made an effort not to do that anymore and I really don’t think I do now? I never, ever message him when I have a problem or if I’m in a funk or expect him to do anything about it or listen to me, I don’t ask for any of his time or energy idk. I’ve worked really hard to work on my stuff by myself and not make it his problem and I kinda stopped talking to him about stuff because he doesn’t know how to deal with me and he also doesn’t know how to deal with not knowing how to deal with me. Like, I understand and accept that he’s not an emotive person and that he’s not comfortable making himself vulnerable to me/other people, and I’m not going to ask for more from him than he can give. BUT. It’s v hard for me to understand how someone could just not react to someone’s distress. He says that it’s not bc he doesn’t care, it’s bc he doesn’t know what to do but I can’t wrap my head around that leading to completely ignoring someone. It’s so deeply ingrained in my nature that I’d want to hug someone, or talk to them or reach out to them that I can’t understand his way of acting and I’m sure he’s telling the truth but I can’t see if from his point of view. Also, It’s REALLY hard for me to accept the reasons people give me for their actions hurting me because most of my relationships have been abusive and full of the abuser justifying their abusive behaviour by manipulating me so when I feel really hurt by someone I have an insanely difficult time accepting reasoning if it doesn’t immediately make sense to me bc I’m wary of being manipulated. Idk if that makes sense, but yeah it’s bringing up lots of stuff for me and I’m feeling pretty guarded against him and it’s making me want to just avoid him completely. And because of all that I just feel like there’s noooooo point talking to him about anything bc I feel like he doesn’t and can’t understand me or what I want. Realistically it’s not a good idea for me to talk to him about stuff I feel he’s not doing/my needs that aren’t being met rn because I’d probably be more accusatory than I need to be when it’s not like I’m obligated to him trying to meet my needs anyway.This is really long and rambly, my brain is all borderliney atm and it’s hard for me to make rational sense of any of it because my feelings are taking over and I can’t even make sense of all of them. It doesn’t help that I’m super tired and worn out and sick and like literally all I want is to feel like ANYONE cares about me and like I’m worth anything and I just DON’T and it’s making me cry a lot. Sry for the dumb long rant abt it.ANYWAY! I hope you have a nice time in your town! I feel you on feeling more comfortable once you leave. My hometown feels like a relaxing place to visit now I’m not suffocated by the oppressive smallness of it. How many siblings do you have?