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heeres-suffering · 4 years

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Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?”

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life...

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long.

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t.

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with.

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat.

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad.

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake.

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature)

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funtryandthepaladudes · 5 years

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Behind the Lady’s Door

Today is my turn to contribute to the @planceminibang.

Here’s the link to the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806028

Here’s a summary:

The concept is simple. There are two doors. One leads to a Lady to marry, the other to a Lion to feed.

What isn't simple is life after this Galran Sentence. Particularly for Pidge, who's just gotten married to her childhood crush in this manner. While she isn't worried about living with Lance in theory, she's afraid of her feelings ruining the status quo. Can she maintain a 'platonic relationship', or will her repressed emotions burst forth and shake up the relative harmony between them.

This story is rated T, because some scenes are very suggestive, but no details are given.

It has been my greatest pleasure to be teamed up with my @whyamistillhungry as my Beta-Reader and @a-haunted-sock as my artist.

See the art for this story here: https://a-haunted-sock.tumblr.com/post/186400599625/aaaand-we-have-liftoff-this-is-the-opener-comic

https://a-haunted-sock.tumblr.com/post/186403962175/bright-morning-here-is-pic-23-for

https://a-haunted-sock.tumblr.com/post/186411843000/to-love-and-be-loved-in-return-okay-i-promise

And now, on to the main event:

My feet tap listlessly as I sit in the empty chamber. I wish the Galra Empire would fill the room with… well anything. Books, games, a cheese platter. Quiznack, even hanging some art would liven up the place. But to be fair, most of the other 'Ladies' don't stay in the system as long as I did. Before I arrived here, the longest a 'Lady' remained in the Dorms was five weeks. It will be my third anniversary here in a few days. It's a little hard to fathom. I still remember the day I first came here. I had volunteered to so that I could keep my family together. Dad and Matt had begged me not to do it, but I was a stubborn kid, barely fifteen, and I thought marrying some stranger would be better than letting them be incarcerated for life for 'Treasonous Activities'. It was only once I was sitting on the stiff stool for the first time that I realized how risky this was.

My potential husband was going to be an alleged criminal. Regardless of actual culpability, I have no idea what kind of person I will wind up with. Even if they were innocent of the crime they were charged with, they could still be horrific people. After all, the Empire saves this particular sentence for the most insidious cases. Back then, I probably was too preoccupied with all those sudden concerns to notice how bland this room was. Yet, even with the tedium, the rumors, and the fact that at this rate, I probably won't see my family until I'm past childbearing age, I don't regret my decision. The alternatives would have been worse. Matt could have been on the other side.

“Don't think about that now, they're all safe.” I wonder which lion I am paired with today. I'd like to think it's the green eyed one, she's my favorite. I should ask the Grand Dayak if I can skip my lectures from now on. After all, at this point I have heard them so many times that I could teach the material. Scratch that, she's never going to agree to that. I can already hear her stuffy voice say, ‘Lecturing is a Dayak's job, yours is to learn. To do otherwise would be absurd. Besides, we can't make exceptions for you otherwise we might as well descend into chaos.’ Ugh, I wish. I hope whoever's out there deserves to be mauled. Not that I know for sure that today won't be the day I finally get hitched, but with my track record that's unlikely. The other 'Ladies' don't call me 'Cursed Katie' behind my back for nothing.

The creaking of the door, snaps me out of my musings, but for some reason the sound is coming from behind me—Wait! That means… I turn around and indeed, the door that had remained shut for my entire stay here has been opened. And even more surprisingly, the last person I ever expected to see behind that door is standing there.

“Lance?” I whisper to myself.

It has been so long since I've last seen him. Longer than my stay at the Dormitory. Oftentimes, I would think back on those simpler times, particularly when the Dayak put me in solitary confinement for 'misbehaving'. I wonder if life would have been different if my family had never moved to the Capital. Would Dad and Matt have never been framed? Would I have not wasted three years in this miserable place? Would Lance, Hunk and me still be close friends? Would I have eventually told Lance how I felt? Would it have saved him from getting to this point? Why is he here in the first place?

I look to him as these questions and memories flood my mind, as if hoping he will answer them. However, with the guards rushing us to the Hall of Ceremonies, we don't even get to exchange words. Come to think of it, I doubt he would remember me. Sure, we used to play around when we were kids, and I might have had my first crush on him, but Lance was always a social butterfly. I wouldn't be surprised if he only interacted with me because he had this need to befriend everybody. Besides, he only knew me by my nickname, and I'm not even sure he knew I was a girl. Or more specifically, he didn't flirt with me like he usually did with other girls. If only I could get a few minutes to talk to him…

Once we reach the Hall of Ceremonies, we are separated. If I hadn't had this procedure drilled into me by the Dayaks, I would be about as disoriented as Lance looks when he is suddenly snatched away from me. As Draconian as the Galra are, they're very dedicated to formality. And a man can't get married in the clothes he was convicted in. I myself am already prepped for the ceremony, all I need is to have my make-up refreshed. The Grand Dayak is in the Prep Room, no doubt to give me some last words of wisdom.

“You are responsible for his actions from here on out, so if he acts out of line again, both of you will go straight to the Lions. However, if you inform us of any misdeeds he might commit, you can be pardoned. We might even give you a position at the Dormitory again. Not as a Lady, obviously, but...”

I am not going to miss her.

Before I know it we are in front of the Great Room. The ceremony is a bit stilted at first, despite me knowing all the words, because Lance is completely out of his depth. I try to help him as best as I can, prompting him whenever he becomes stuck. Once he starts reading my signals, the ceremony runs smoother. Time passes in a blur, and we are quickly in the final acknowledgments.

“Do you acknowledge that this Lady is your salvation, and is to be treated in reverence as such, by providing for, protecting, and living as a model citizen?” The Ordainer asks Lance.

“Yes...” I mouth the right words to him. “I acknowledge!”

The Ordainer seems satisfied with his response. He turns to me and asks my final question. “Do you acknowledge that your role is to keep him from being convicted again, by any means possible, and failure to keep him discouraged from criminal activity, or failing to report any such activity, and supporting such activity will result in the immediate execution of both of you?”

“I acknowledge.” I struggle to keep the bitterness out of my tone. Even after all these years, this farce of a wedding ceremony makes me sick. At least it's over now.

“Then celebrate your vindication by demonstrating your devotion to your new freedom. Kiss your bride!” The Ordainer proclaims. Oh right, that. I face Lance, ready to get this over with, but he looks back at me hesitantly, as if worried about me being uncomfortable. I can't help but be touched by this. Even if it's been years since I've seen him, he's still the sweet boy I remember, just wanting anybody he meets to be at ease. I take his hand, the first time we have touched all throughout this ordeal, and nod so that he knows it's OK. The hesitance doesn't completely leave him, but he does manage to lightly press his lips against mine, putting an end to this quiznacking ceremony. All that's left is the reception. I hate this. I hate that this is the only kind of wedding I get. I hate that this was my first kiss. But most of all, I hate that this is our reunion. This would be a lot less frustrating if I could just talk to him. Perhaps at the Reception.

---

We don't talk at the reception. So far, I haven't been able to talk to him, what with people constantly coming up to us to congratulate us, as if this was a real wedding. I don't even know any of these people, but I can't snub them either, because most of them are dignitaries of some kind. I keep a lookout for my family, but doubt they will be there. The identity of the Lady is kept secret until the moment her door is opened, and all contact with the outside world is cut off for us. There was no way for them to know when I was being paired with a Lion, and I imagine after the first year of my door not being selected they would have given up hope of seeing me again. Yet, if I remember the lessons the Dayak told me correctly, family members are only permitted to approach us after the Opening Dance, provided a Noble doesn't ask one of us to dance with them after. Perhaps, I'll see them then. I'll just have to endure all this pretense. Maybe once all the greetings have been exchanged I can finally talk…

“They're too close.” I mutter.

“What was that?” Lance asks. Clearly I wasn't as quiet as I thought.

“I mean, our chairs. I know it's our 'wedding' and we have to share a plate, but geez, how close do we have to be?” I play it off. A pair of noblewomen titter at my comment. Just as I thought. The Upper-class need to get their entertainment from these Public Sentences, and if it's not from a mauling, they might as well get it from our awkward situation. I don't really have anything to hide; Ladies are allowed to have a prior acquaintance with their 'Grooms'. But I'll be quiznacked before I give these people anything else to small talk over their tea parties at. And honestly, the chairs are too close. I can't move my left leg, without brushing against Lance's right one. Every time I do, he does this startled jerk. It's kind of adorable—I'm tempted to do it deliberately. “No, focus Katie. Just eat your dinner, and wait for an opening.”

The entire dinner we are in earshot of the nobility, so we only exchange a few words here or there. Naturally, I can't speak to him as we hand out desert, or as we are handed our gifts. I think that I might be able to get some privacy during the dance, but I wind up having to talk him through that as well. Hopefully, we'll get a break now. Indeed, none of the nobles have asked us to dance yet, however, Lance's family comes to finally see him. As I expected, my family isn't here. I sigh as I watch him get embraced by all of them. I didn't know them that well back then so I feel a bit like I'm intruding, even though they are technically now my family as well. If there is one thing I don't despise about this entire thing, is that at least I could return him to his family. I am wondering if I should introduce myself, when I feel somebody tug at me.

“My Lady, if you could please follow me” a blonde young woman says to me demurely. I've never seen her in my life. She's not noble, or even Galra for that matter, and she certainly isn't one of the attendants from the Dormitory. And yet, I have a feeling I should probably follow her.

“Of course, just give me a moment.”

“We need to hurry.”

I do not know what to make of that, but I have a hunch on who is actually sending for me, though I can't for the life of me fathom why. I look to check on Lance to see if he's still caught up with his family and then follow the blonde, who I suspect is Altean. She leads me through a few hallways and rooms, until we reach a seemingly unoccupied balcony.

“You made it! I was beginning to think you couldn't get away” a female voice speaks up out of the shadows. The person who emerges is exactly who I expected.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Princess Allura?” I say as I curtsy.

“Please, there's no need to be so formal. It is your Wedding Day after all! I just wanted to congratulate you.”

“Couldn't you have done that with the other nobles earlier?” I ask skeptically. I doubt Prince Lotor's betrothed has any ill intentions, but the fact that she had me summoned away from his presence is pretty suspicious. I can at least deduce that whatever Lance was sentenced for must have, in someway, landed him on the Prince's shit-list.

“Indeed, but I wanted to do it privately...” She begins to explain. I wait for her to tell me her real purpose. “... and to apologize.” Huh, I didn't know what I expected, but that was not it.

My face must display my confusion, because she immediately begins explaining. “Look, I don't exactly understand all the customs of this empire, but I can't imagine that you really wanted to be forced into a marriage like this. So I can't help but feel a bit guilty in rigging the results, but I couldn't let him die like this. Not when he didn't do anything wrong.”

Wow, that was vague. But at least I know that Lance was unjustly sentenced to this insanity; no surprise there. Lance was always an honest person at his core. I could never imagine him changing that drastically. I am about to ask for more details, when the blonde returns. “Your Grace, people are asking for you.”

“Quiznack! I'm sorry to cut this short. I wish I could say we'll talk again soon, but that's highly unlikely. Take good care of Lance, please. Romelle, get her out of here quickly.”

Without any hesitation I am rushed back to the Ballroom. I can't help but be intrigued by the princess. It's unusual to see nobility refer to the help by name. Also, how does she know Lance? I know it's been years, but I think I would have remembered if he was nobility. Then again, I have no idea what he had been doing for a living. But nothing he did should have made him close enough to the foreign princess to make her risk a political incident by rigging a Lady or Lion sentence. Another thing to ask Lance about, once we're alone. When we get back to the Ballroom, Lance and his family are exactly where I left them. I try to innocuously approach them, but Lance seemed to have heard my footsteps.

“Hey, where did you go? I was just about to introduce you to my folks.”

“Oh, uhm. I needed to use the bathroom, and I needed some assistance with getting my dress out of the way, and Romelle here was kind enough to help out?” I try to indicate to the blonde, but she has already left. However, Lance's eyes widen at the sound of her name, and for a second I think he's going to say something about her. However, he seemingly changes his mind after casting a furtive look around.

“I see, well come along then. My family is anxious to meet you.” He says instead and moves on from the subject, leading me to his family, with his arm around my shoulders. He introduces me as Katie, so I guess he really must not remember me. I was always Pidge to him. His family are instantly accepting of me, hugging me like I had always been a part of their family. His mother even burst into tears, as she holds on to me, repeatedly thanking me for saving Lance's life. It makes me wish I had done more, and it also makes me yearn for my own mother. Being with his family actually motivates me to pretend like I'm enjoying this. I actually feel disappointed when the closing dance is announced. I was just beginning to have fun at my own 'wedding' - who would have thought?! The Closing Dance is just a retread of the Opening Dance, so Lance doesn't need my help as much. This could be a great opportunity to talk, but I'm not sure I want to risk it yet. Lance seems to have other ideas.

“Thanks for being great with my family.” He whispers in my ear. I'm a little ashamed by the excited shiver that runs over my body. Get a grip, he's trying to be private not seductive.

“I didn't really do anything.”

“But you did. I might not be the brightest person in the room, but I could tell that this whole 'wedding' is making you uncomfortable. The fact that you were willing to put on a brave face for them really put them at ease. You can't imagine how worried they were about this whole thing.” He's right. I hadn't even considered that his family might have been worried about who he'll end up with, provided he was not eaten. Sure, I'm not necessarily a 'convict', but they don't know what I'm like, what my motivations are, or how devout I am to the lessons of the Dayaks.

“I mean, it was no problem. Your family is lovely, it's hard not be cheerful around them. I wish my...” I can't get the words out. I'm afraid I might cry. Lance seems to understand, squeezing my hand a bit longer than he needs to, before bending down to my ears again.

“We'll find them tomorrow.” He promises, and I am inclined to believe him.

We're finally alone. In our State-Issued House. In our master bedroom. On the same bed. Perhaps it was all those years of hearing the same lessons, but I had somehow blocked out this part of procedure. True, we're not required to produce a child, but it is still highly encouraged. Anything to keep the convict in line, right? I don't know if it would be better or worse if I had wound up here with some faceless stranger instead, but at least I would know what action to take based on their behavior. Lance hasn't moved an inch since the guards dumped us in this room, snickering on the way out. Maybe I should say something…

“So, how you been, Pidge?”

“... I thought you didn't recognize me.”

“I didn't. At least not completely. You looked familiar, but I couldn't really place it at first. It hit me when you were giving the stink eye to the nobles.”

“Shut up.” We laugh together. It feels nice.

“But seriously, what were you doing in the Dormitory? I thought you would be running the Empire by now.”

“That's really kind of you to say, even if I would rather die than go into politics.” He shrugs playfully as he turns towards me. “Trust me, I had no aspirations to be there. I just didn't have a choice” I add.

“Did you get framed?”

“No, my dad and Matt… they were inventing some astounding machinery, but they were more of the 'help make life easier for the common man' than the 'make conquering the Empire's enemies faster' ilk. When the military offered them a lucrative position to make a chemical weapon, they politely declined. Suddenly, they were being charged with treason. So, naturally...”

“Wow, I'm sorry about that. How are they doing?”

“Well, I hope. I haven't heard from them since I was brought to the Dormitory.”

“How long ago was that?”

“About three years?” He winces, and takes my hand between his.

“It must have been hard.” he says softly, as he strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. It feels comforting, but I try not to dwell on that.

“I found ways to cope.” I answer casually.

“How exactly?”

“Oh, you know. Made plans for what I would do once I finally left. Tuned out the Dayaks just enough to repeat what they were teaching when I was asked, but in reality thought about various experiments I'd rather be doing. Befriended the Lions.”

“Befriended the Lions?”

“Yeah, they're actually quite sweet when they weren't being starved prior to a sentencing. Plus, unlike the other Ladies, they were the only constants. I would go to their pen often, particularly after curfew. It made me feel just a little more defiant.”

“You always were the rebel in our friend group.”

“You know it.” we laugh a little, and it begins to feel like we're back to being kids again. But then I remember that our situation is not that simple anymore, and it fractures our moment of ease. Lance seems to notice my distress and puts a hand on my cheek.

“Hey, this doesn't have to be weird. We were friends before, let's just try to be friends again. We'll take it a day at a time, and if we become something more… well, uhm… I wouldn't mind that either.” The only thing preventing me from laughing at his nervous state, is the fact that I'm fighting my own flush. “But if you don't want anything to happen tonight, then nothing needs to happen. I just want you to be comfortable, so unless we are required to produce children...”

“We're not.”

“Yeah, then, do you want to just sleep?”

“... It has been a long day.”

“Sorry, I'll shut up now.” I try to reassure him, that I don't mind spending the night talking to him, but a yawn escapes me, and before I know it, Lance is behind my back, running his fingers through my hair, with us under the covers. I am this close to just falling asleep, but one question keeps me awake still.

“Hey Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“Why were you sentenced in the first place?”

His hand movement stops as he considers his response. “I just fell in love with the wrong person.”

And just like that, everything falls into place. The princess' subterfuge, her apologetic words, the simple fact that he was in this situation in the first place. Lance and Princess Allura were secret lovers, and now I was the greatest obstacle between them. This revelation erased the fatigue I had just seconds before, overcome by my turbulent emotions. However, Lance's ministrations with my hair did eventually mollify me again, but not before I swore not to let myself fall for him. After all, what good would come from loving an emotionally unavailable man?

---

I still remember the path to my home. It is a relief, yet I do notice the many changes that had occurred during my absence. Nothing major, just buildings that were new now looking faded, properties with overgrown plants, some walls repainted, the odd new store. The little discrepancies from my memory make me anxious about reaching my destination. What if I don't like the change I find there?

As if sensing my uncertainty, Lance reaches out to squeeze my hand. I would be lying if I said I didn't have reservations about bringing him along at first. Yet, at the moment I couldn't be more relieved that he came with me. I don't usually care for too much physical contact, but even as kids I never minded his more tactile personality. Aside from that, I just really needed something to hold on to at the moment, and if Lance is gracious enough not to complain about my sweaty hands, then I'll gladly hold on to him.

I might grip a little too hard when we approach the front yard. It looks mostly unchanged from my memories. Some trees are taller, and the color on the fence is a little more faded, but it is essentially identical to how it looked when the Empire took me away. I could imagine I'm just a teenager again, coming back from town and eager to greet my Mother, who'd be working in the garden. Even Lance would fit into this image somehow. He could be an old friend I ran into that wanted to drop in to say 'hi'. The one thing that is different is the silence. Back then, I could always expect to hear Mom humming some random tune to herself. The fact that I don't hear her makes me fear the worst. So when I do finally gather the courage to walk in, I am more than relieved to find Mom where I expected her. Sure, the garden is slightly more chaotic than I thought she would have ever let it become, and she seems to be listless in her movements, but none of that matters.

“Mom!” I let go of Lance's hand as I run-tackle her. Seconds later, she's out of whatever stupor she was in and holding me in an even tighter grip then mine. I feel tears on my face, and I honestly don't know if it's mine or hers, but I'm honestly just happy to be surrounded by her scent once again. Before I know it, I am surrounded by more arms as Dad and Matt join us in our reunion. I am starting to have trouble breathing from all the embraces, but I couldn't care less. I'm finally home.

I remember Lance a good few minutes after being immersed with my family. I look towards the gate where I had last seen him, and sure enough, he's still there, nervously shifting his feet.

“Oh, guys, this Lance, my… husband.” Even though it is the truth, calling him that feels wrong somehow. Yet, calling him anything else would feel dishonest too. Regardless, I doubt anything I called him would have prevented the mood shifting drastically. As my family looks towards him, their faces shift from ecstatic to somber. Lance doesn't flinch as they all seem to dissect him with their eyes, however unwarranted, because he is also aware of what he represents. For better or worse, Lance is a reminder that my freedom is conditional. I just wish somebody would say something already.

“It's nice to...” Mom tries “... I'm Colleen, and this is Sam, Katie's father, and that's Matt, my first born.”

“I, uhm, kinda knew that already. Not that I don't appreciate the introduction, but me and Pidge… uh Katie, used to be friends back in the day.”

“Really? Wait, are you Lance Serrano?” Dad asks.

“Yeah, I am. Do you remember me?”

“Not personally, but your sister used to be my student back in Arus.”

“Oh right!” Matt also interjects. “Your Veronica's baby brother.”

“That would be me. I completely forgot about that connection.” Honestly, so had I. In my memories of my old Hometown, Lance is just a fixture, I barely remember how we first met. I imagine one of us tagged along with our respective older sibling on a group study session, and the rest is history.

“It's funny, how these things work out.” Dad remarks, a hint of a smile returning. Looks like the tension is gradually dispersing. Although the fact that Lance is technically a criminal is probably still a point of concern for my family, the shared history is more than a little reassuring. With this lighter atmosphere, we head inside. Some polite questions and answers are exchanged between Lance and my parents, and despite the conversation being standard small talk, it seems to be further helping. Oddly enough, Matt doesn't seem to have anything else to say. I know it's been a few years, but I remember my brother being more inquisitive. It was one of the many traits we had in common. I'll have to find out what that's about later. Right now, I just have to ensure that my parents don't tell Lance something he shouldn't hear. Platonic relationship or not, there are some things I'd rather keep secret.

When I first headed out on this venture, I had no idea how long it would take. We had a late start because post-Wedding frenzy is exhausting, even without consummation. And then we didn't leave for another two hours, because Lance insisted that we have brunch before meeting my family. He said it was for his nerves, but I suspect he was doing it for my sake. Now, it seems like we'll be here for a week, or at least till dinner. It's still being negotiated. Fortunately, the tension has all but dissipated. Apart from Matt, everybody has considerably eased up. So much so, that everybody seems to have found something else to do. Dad took Lance aside for 'Man-Talk', which I'm sure will consist of standard Dad-threats. Matt is out on an errand for Mom, and I am trying, and failing, at helping with dinner.

“Out of the question.” She insists. “You just got married, I missed your wedding, and you've just returned. I'm not going to force you to cook when we should be celebrating you. Besides, you're not that good at cooking.”

“That might have been true three years ago, but I've picked up some skills at the Dormitory, and now the food I make is known to be 'edible enough'.”

“Is that so? Then did you also make breakfast and lunch today?”

“First of all, we had brunch… and Lance made it.”

“Aha!”

“Hey! That was only because he was the one that wanted brunch in the first place.”

“Come on, Katie. Just relax. Go check out your room, I'm sure there are some projects left from back then” she says wistfully.

“You… You didn't clear out my room?”

“I couldn't. At first I was hoping that you would return soon, and when you didn't the most I could do is some light cleaning, but I… I just wanted the things that you left to still be there when you returned. Clearing them would have felt like… losing you all over again.”

And here I thought I was done with crying today. “I… I think I will check it out” I rasp as I wipe my tears.

“Oh, baby” She coos as she hugs me. “I'm just so happy to have you back.” I squeeze her back before I head to my old room, actually excited by what I might find. Mom was right, apart from my bed being made, my laundry picked up, and some light dusting, my room looks practically the same as the day I left it. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was just returning to my projects after a family vacation. I recognize the function of some of my contraptions on sight. For others I have to consult my notebook, which is still in it's usual spot. I am contemplating if I should try to move my projects to my new place, or if I should start from scratch when Matt busts into my room.

“Perfect, you're alone.”

“Matt, what's going on?”

“I was hoping to talk to you alone. Pidge, you can tell me the truth. Did he hurt you? Is he dangerous? Just say the word, and I'll take care of him. Veronica may be my friend, but your my sister, and you come first...”

“OK, slow down, weirdo. Lance is harmless. Do you really think I would have brought him here if he was in any way a threat?”

“How was I to know that? For all I know, he's a control freak, that doesn't let you go anywhere without him.”

“Again, Lance is not like that. Also, if that were the case, come on, this is me we're talking about. Do you really think I couldn't sneak away if I wanted to?”

“I don't know, you didn't these past three years.” He blurts out. When he realizes what he said, he grimaces and looks to the floor, clearly not intending to be this honest. To be fair he has a point. The security measures at the Dormitory were laughable.

“I did think about breaking out more than once, but it was never worth the risk.” I explain, in the hopes of bringing some kind of comfort.

“I understand,” He lifts his face again. “Doesn't change the fact that I wished you had. You didn't deserve to be in the Dormitory in the first place, and every day you were stuck there, I couldn't help feeling guilty.”

“Hey, you didn't deserve to be condemned for a crime you didn't commit. Besides, it wasn't all that bad. Sure it was boring, but I got my three meals a day, and my room was actually bigger than this one. It's a pity I couldn't take my tools with me. I could have gotten so much done.”

“That's good to know,” And from the look on his face, I can tell that a huge burden has been lifted. “But back to the original topic. Is Lance treating you right? He didn't… you know…”

“Oh my Bob, Matt, no! All we did on our 'Wedding Night' is catch up, and then literally sleep. Besides, that's never going to happen.”

“I might regret this, but can I ask why not?”

“The same reason he was sentenced in the first place.”

“... Which was?”

I sigh as I brace myself to drop this bomb. “Because he is Princess Allura's Secret Lover.”

“HER WHAT?!!!”

“Shh, are you trying to alert the whole neighborhood?”

“But… are you serious? Did he tell you that?”

“Not in so many words, but what he has said, combined with the clandestine meeting I had with the princess in question at my wedding reception leads me to believe that's probably the case.”

“You met the heir to the Altean throne? Tell me everything.”

And so I wind up telling him everything that happened yesterday from the time Lance opened my door to his cryptic confession in our shared bed. When I'm done, he has a contemplative look on his face.

“So, how do you feel about all this?” Is his first question.

“What do you mean? I mean the whole thing's crazy, but do you want me to get specific or should I just speak in generalities?”

“I mean about the fact that he might not reciprocate your feelings for him.” He deadpans. I am about to say something—a denial, a retort, or whatever—but he beats me to it by saying. “And before you lie to me, I'll remind you that I've known you since the day you were born, and also my observational skills are legendary, so of course I can recognize when you're in love with someone.”

“I'm not in love with him. It's just an old childhood crush that refuses to die, and it doesn't matter. He didn't have feelings for me before, the only difference between then and now is that he's in love with someone else and we're married.”

“That's quite a difference.”

“Tell me about it.” We share a sad laugh together.

“Hey, if you think you can handle it, then I'm not going to stop you. But your wrong, Pidge. Your feelings do matter. And if it ever gets to be too overwhelming, or if you just need to vent, I'm right here.”

“Thanks, Matt. I'll hold you to that. But enough about me, what's been going on with you? Are you still single, loser?”

“OK, you little gremlin. I might currently be the only unmarried member of this family, but I'll have you know, I've been seeing someone as of recently.”

“Wow, that's exciting!” It's actually a relief to know that Matt continued having a life in the years I was gone. We spend the time until dinner discussing his foreign Lady Friend and some projects he and Dad had been working on. At dinner, I am happy to learn that the tension from earlier has completely lifted, and that we'll be staying for two weeks. Lance gets along great with my family now. I don't know if the conversation he had with Dad went that well, or if this is just another case of Lance Magic, but the way we joke and laugh together, you would think he's been a part of the family for years. In another life, this might have been ordinary family dinner with my new Husb... “No! Stop it! You're not doing yourself any favors by letting your thoughts go that way. He's never going to love you like that, so don't even imagine what that would be like” I remind myself. But, even as I try to suffocate whatever warm feelings were developing, somewhere deep inside, I know I've missed a few sparks.

---

It has been about two months, and I think I'm starting to get the hang of this marriage. It helps that Lance is such a great partner. As tactile as he is, he never makes me uncomfortable, and even when he gets touch happy, I don't really mind it. I don't like examining why this is, so I just settle to accept it. I'll admit it was a bit awkward those first weeks, figuring out sleeping arrangements, boundaries, and basically a routine for our new lives. Perhaps because of our established friendship, or just the fact that our house is not that big, we ease into an unspoken understanding. In the privacy of our house—I still can't think of it as Home yet—we give each other space, but share a bed. In public we hold hands, and exchange cheek kisses or the occasional chaste peck.

As for the question of occupation, we will be receiving a Government Stipend until the Empire assigns us, or more likely just Lance, a new position. According to the lectures from back in the Dorm this shouldn't take longer than six months, however, our case worker said that it would take at least a year, as Lance's case was a little more 'sensitive'. Either way, it doesn't matter. If the Empire wants to sponsor my inventions and experiments instead of giving Lance a job, then who am I to argue. I was concerned about Lance growing restless, but he surprisingly took up gardening.

“Hey, it's hard work so it will keep me in shape, and if they decide to let me return to the Royal Guard, then at least I'll be ready.” is his explanation. Mom approved of his pick, naturally. Other than that, it's almost like being back in Arus. Just two friends on an extended sleepover. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself. True, it's been a while since we were friends, but even then Lance has always had a way to creep past my defenses. Back then I was just introverted. Now, I'm trying not to fall for him.

And yet, as if somehow my secret thoughts have snuck into his subconscious, his mannerisms seem to be calculated to make me undone. It’s in the little things, like the way he'll ask a thousand questions about whatever project I'm working on, just because he wants to see what I'm so excited about. Or how he doesn't wear a shirt unless he absolutely has to. The forehead kisses in the morning, which I always roll my eyes at, but never outright tell him to stop. Every time he remembers some old joke from our childhood, my resolve wavers just a little bit more.

There are the more affectionate actions. The not-at-all surprise party he organized on my 18th birthday is one of the most specific examples. As caught up as I get with my projects, I had told him a week in advance just in case my parents or Matt dropped by or something. So on the actual day, when he insisted that we have to visit my family, because he had 'Important Questions about Squash' for Mom, I knew right away what he had up his sleeve. Yet his proud smile at having pulled one over me was so infectious, that I couldn't help but play along.

And then there are the 'Just Because' incidents. Like how he made me a bracelet from some of my leftover Olkari wires about a month ago, 'just because he remembered that he never got me a wedding gift.' Or how he'll occasional take me out for dinner at some affordable, but still atmospheric restaurant, 'just because neither of us feel like cooking , right?' Or the fact that he still strokes my hair as we fall asleep, 'just because it relaxes him too.' Combined with the random tickle fights, and how he makes a point to always go on little 'Adventures' like exploring the City, going out dancing, or rediscovering a game we both love, I'm a little surprised that I have been able to hold out for these past few months. But for every little bit that I come closer to just giving in, I remind myself that he doesn't really belong to me. With every kind touch I remind myself that he longs to have this with Allura. It breaks my heart a bit, but it does the trick.

Some days are tougher than others.

Today for instance, we are on our way to our only couple friends, Hunk and Shay. Hunk is actually another friend of ours from Arus who had also moved to the Capital around the same time Lance joined the Royal Guard. I had run into him about a month ago when I had been looking for parts at a market, and once he learned that Lance had not been mauled by Lions he immediately invited us to his diner, where I was introduced to his wife, Shay, and their two kids. Now, his diner is a frequent haunt for us.

Although, I adore Hunk and his family, going on outings with them presents a unique kind of complication. His children are still very young, so each time they are present, we have to play the Happy Couple, because explaining the truth would be too complicated. To make matters worse, the particular reason we are visiting is because we were invited to a picnic, which wouldn't be so bad in itself. However, not only will Hunks extended family be attending, who may or may not have been filled in about our situation, but also Shay's conservative Balmeran family, who don't understand Galra culture and are definitely not in the know, are going to be there too. It's one thing to trick a two and three year old that we're a normal couple, but how am I going to do that for at least 30 people of varying ages?

“You're overthinking again.” Lance tells me as he playfully bumps into my shoulder.

“I'm just trying to brace myself for what's to come.”

“You make it sound like we're going to war.”

“We might as well be. One wrong word and I shock, traumatize, or cause some other huge incident which will ruin the picnic, and Hunk and Shay worked so hard on it, I don't want to be the one that disappoints our friends, also...”

“Hey, hey! Look at me. It's going to be OK. You don't need to put on a production. So we're not a conventional couple, it's not like we've got a huge sign pointing that out. As long as we are comfortable around each other nobody is going to notice.”

“I guess you have a point, but it's not just about them.” I finally confess. “Your family is also going to be there. I haven't seen them since the wedding, and I was a bit dazed then. I just want to make a better impression, so they can be assured that you're fine, after everything you've been through...”

“Come on, Pidge. My week in holding is nothing compared to your years of separation from your family. Besides, my family have been bugging me for ages to bring you along. You don't need to impress them because they already love you.”

“It's just...” I can't tell him why this really is important. I've never confirmed Lance and princess Allura's relationship, partially because I didn't want to remind him of what he can't have anymore, and partially because I was afraid of his answer. I also don't know if his family was even aware of his affair with the princess. Regardless, I just want them to know that he is relatively happy again. I nervously play with my bracelet as these thoughts rush through my mind. Suddenly, Lance picks me up, so quickly that I almost drop the gift for Hunk that I was carrying. “Lance!”

“What? You're the one that wanted present us as a 'Happy Couple'.”

“Yes, 'Happy', not 'Obnoxious'. Put me down, this is embarrassing.” I hate the fact that this has my heart racing.

“I don't know, I'm kinda starting to like this. I've always wanted to pick you up, but was always afraid of you kicking my ass. I really wish I'd done this sooner, this is surprisingly fun.”

Quiznack, I can feel my face turning red. “Lance, I swear if you don't put me down now, I'm going to make you regret it.”

“Why are you so against this? If you think about it logistically, we're actually getting there faster because I don't have to pace myself so you can keep up.”

“Lance, if anybody sees me like this, I will hurt you!” I yell as I start hitting his chest.

“Are you still worried about impressing everybody at the Picnic?”He asks in between the odd wince.

“What? What does that have to do with anything?” For some reason my question makes him smirk as if I'd fallen for an elaborate prank. Wait.

“Well, based on that response, my work is done.” And with that he puts me back on the ground. I hate the fact that his dumb trick worked, and I really hate that I wish his hands had lingered a little longer on my waist. “And we're here. Hi Hunk!”

“Hey, Lovebirds! Glad you could make it here. But please, keep the PDA to a minimum. There are children present.” Of all people I least wanted to witness this, Hunk is on top of that list. Not because he'll give me crap about this, not because he's among the people who know of our circumstances, not even because he's one of the few people who know about my complicated feelings towards Lance. It's because he's convinced that my potential feelings aren't as one-sided as I know they are, and he takes every opportunity to try to prove this. So Lance carrying me around like a… for the lack of a better word, bride , is probably going to give him mileage for weeks to come. Well, not today. I march towards the picnic sight, only pausing to shove my gift at him. Before he can make another remark, I bee-line towards the refreshments table. With any luck I'll find something strong there to tide me over.

---

I should have figured that an event with 'children present', wouldn't have a beverage stronger than fruit punch. Luckily, Lance is right and most of the afternoon passes smoothly. Sure, I could do without Hunk's smug looks, but if that were enough to put me off, then we would never hang out. There are a few awkward lulls in conversation, when somebody from Lance's family will ask me how I'm holding up, or Shay's grandmother asks me how long we 'courted', but Lance is always there to back me up, so we are able to get past these hurdles as well.

Presently, anybody who had been curious about me has been satisfied and moved on to have other conversations. Lance is goofing off with all the kids, and I am content to watch him. If he doesn't get reassigned to the Royal Guard, then I hope he gets a position in Child Care. He's a natural with those ankle-biters. I doubt I could be that patient with them, no matter how cute they were. I wish… what's Hunk doing?

“Can I get everybody's attention for a bit?” He calls as he hits a fork against his cup. “I have a little announcement to make.”

Although his words seem innocuous, I know better than to underestimate him. I brace myself for his next words, in case this is another match-making scheme.

“Well, actually…” He beckons to Shay to come to him, and instantly wraps his arm around her when she reaches him, making her giggle. “We've got an announcement.”

OK, so maybe it's not as bad as I think. Shay is too much of a sweetheart to take part in anything too devious. But then again, I haven't known her that long.

“Alright so I would just like to say, thank you all for coming. I love you all, and I… we… do you want to tell them?”

“You were doing so well, you should proceed.”

“But, it's technically more about you than me.”

“We did this together.”

Yikes. It's times like this I'm glad my marriage is platonic. Lance, and everybody else for that matter, seem to be amused by these antics. I mean, I guess it's kinda sweet but it's not that entertaining. Clearly, I am missing something. I poke Lance in the ribs, and raise my brow at him. Luckily, he understands what I'm trying to ask.

“It's just they always do this, at this point it's a running gag.”

“That still leaves me wondering why.”

“Just wait for it.”

As if on cue, Hunk and Shay seem to have finally agreed to say whatever they are trying to say together. “We are having another baby!!!”

Oh.

Everybody breaks out in enthusiastic, but not really surprised, applause. Although this is my first time to witness, what is apparently a routine pregnancy announcement, I can't say that I'm surprised either that Hunk and Shay are the type of parents who would still be this excited with each new child. With Lance taking the lead, people start crowding towards them so they can congratulate them.

As I wait for my moment, I fall back into my new hobby of discreetly observing Lance. He remains beside the expecting couple as if this was his kid too, which in a way makes sense. He's already Mirax and Tui's Godfather, so it wouldn't surprise me if they already asked him to take that role a third time. However, as I watch him excitedly exchange small-talk with all the well-wishers, it suddenly hits me. He's not just good with children, he wants some of his own. I see the longing in his eyes as his smile seems to become impossibly wider. I sigh as I turn my face away, only for my eyes to fall on my bracelet. Brilliant, as if I didn't feel guilty enough. I make it a point to keep my arms behind my back as I keep waiting for the crowd to pass, but even like this, I can't quite stop fiddling with my bracelet.

After what seems like an eternity, I finally approach Hunk and Shay, and by extension, Lance. When I'm about seven paces away from them, they all turn to me with a gleeful look that immediately raises red flags. Unfortunately, it is too late for me to back away.

“Pidge! We've been wondering when you would get here. Hunk and Shay have something very important to ask you.” Lance enthuses.

“Oh, I was just trying to avoid the crowd. You know I like my space. So, uhh… what did you need?”

“I suppose you must have already assumed that we asked Lance to be this one's Godfather...” Shay begins in her uniquely Balmeran speech pattern.

“So, we were wondering how you would feel about being the kid's Godmother.” Hunk finishes.

“... Wait, you're serious?”

“Why would we be jesting?”

“I just… am not the best with kids.”

“Don't worry, I didn't think I would be that good when they had Mirax, but now I'm a natural. And if you need help with this Godparenting thing then I'll be right here.” Lance tries to console me. Somehow I doubt there was ever a time he wasn't a natural at this, seeing as he's been an Uncle since he was thirteen. I decide not to comment on this though.

“Are you sure you wouldn't rather ask someone else? Someone you've known longer?” I ask Shay.

“I may not have been acquainted with you for long, but for the short amount of time I have known you, I have found you to be a brilliant and thoughtful friend. I would be honored if you would accept this title.”

“I agree, there's nobody better I could think of for the job.” Hunk chimes in.

A large part of me wants to say no, it's bad enough trying to hold back my stupid feelings, while being in a platonic marriage, but additionally being pseudo-parents for a child together might wreak all kinds of havoc on my hormones. And yet, the three nicest people I know are asking me to do this. Hunk, annoying as he may be sometimes, is one of the best friends I've ever had, and Shay is such an angel, I could never deny her anything. But of course, Lance looking at me like I would be doing him a favor by co-Godparenting this unborn child is what ultimately does me in.

“I mean, if you insist. Don't say I didn't warn you if this kid becomes a hell-raiser.”

Their response is to envelope me in a group hug, which is par for the course with this group of people. Although I still have some apprehensions about this whole business, for the moment it doesn't seem too bad.

---

The weather was pleasant for most of the day, but now as Lance and I are heading back to our house, the sky is beginning to look a bit overcast. This doesn't seem to disturb Lance one bit, who still seems to be giddy from the whole baby business. It's always nice to see him like this.

“You know, If you'd have asked us about five years ago which one of us would have more kids by the time we hit our twenties, we both would have said, me. And yet, here we are.”

“Is this you bragging about your playboy past again?”

“No, smart-ass. This is me reminiscing about my youth.”

“Really, at the ripe old age of 19?”

“I'll be 20 in a few months.”

“That's not a great counterargument.”

“I'll show you a counterargument!” He says as he tries to noogie me. But I see him coming, and am able to dodge in the nick of time. This devolves into a chase-tickle fight and for a while I am content to remain in this blissful state. However, Lance doesn't seem to be done with the topic.

“Do you ever think about having children someday?” He asks with his arms casually embracing me from behind, walking as if he is unhindered by our position.

Now that's a minefield of a question, and we were having such a good time too. “I don't know. You know I'm more comfortable with my lab than people. I just think I'd be worried about seriously messing up.”

“You do fine with Hunk and Shay's kids.”

“Well yeah, but I'm not in charge of them 24/7. With my own kid, I'd be bound to screw up at some point.”

“I think you should give yourself more credit. You're pretty dedicated to family, I think our marriage can more than attest to that. That's a great foundation to have as a parent, in my opinion. I bet you'd be one of those fierce protective moms. Like a bear, or a lioness.”

“Too bad we'll never find out” slips out of my mouth. When Lance stops us in our tracks, I begin to realize that I messed up.

“I'm sorry. I didn't realize you already made up your mind.” He says apologetically. For some reason that infuriates me.

“What do you have to be sorry for? Shouldn't you be happy that I'm not taking this from you too?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

I really should stop right here, but now that I've gotten started I can't seem to curb my words anymore.

“Isn't it obvious? I'm a living reminder of all the things you can't have anymore. The last thing you should want is more living shackles.” I snap as I shake out of his embrace.

“Again, where is this coming from? Where do you get off deciding how I feel about you? You make it sound like I resent you!”

“Well, don't you? Sure, you weren't mauled by a lion, but your married to somebody other than the woman you love, and isn't that a special kind of torture?”

“I...! That's not relevant!”

“How could it not be relevant?! You told me you were sentenced because you loved the wrong person. Do you really think I wouldn't figure out who you were talking about!”

“Pidge, it's not what you think!”

“Stop lying to me! I'm not your real wife, I'm just a live-in Prison Warden, you don't have to spare my feelings!!!”

“I'm not lying to you, you just don't have all the facts!!!”

“Then enlighten me, Serrano?! What critical information am I missing?!”

As if the weather could sense my mood, a bolt of lightning strikes across the sky, and it begins to rain heavily. “Come on, let's get back to the house” Lance says somberly.

“Aren't you going to answer my question?” I retort, even as I'm shivering.

“Look, I'll tell you anything you want to hear as soon as we're indoors. Because I don't know about you, but I'd prefer if my gravestone didn't say 'killed by a bolt of lightning in the middle of an altercation with wife.'”

Right on cue, another bolt of lightning strikes, a little closer this time. I suppose he does have a point. I still make it a point not to talk to him as we rush back.

It's surprisingly difficult to hold on to your ire when your cold and drenched. But I've always been special like that. Lance, though, seems to have mellowed out in the way he worriedly puts his hands on my cheeks.

“Your freezing! I'll grab some towels and dry clothes. Why don't you get the fire started? You should probably have a hot bath too.”

The thought that he needs the hot bath as much as I do, or that he's still not answering my question crosses my mind, but I don't mention either, because the fact that he's showing this much concern for me when we are technically still fighting irritates me more. I silently head to the fireplace without acknowledging him. I know it doesn't make sense, but I want him to be angry too before I can talk to him again. It doesn't feel right that I'm the only one who feels like this. As I'm about light the first log, Lance taps me on the shoulder.

“Here, bundle yourself in this until I'm back. The sooner your out of those wet clothes, the better.” He says as he hands me my favorite comforter from the couch. Only once I take it in my hand does he finally leave. I'm almost tempted to remain in my wet clothes out of spite, but another shiver makes me think better of it. Once I have got the fire going I take off everything apart from my bracelet. It's irrational, which seems to be the trend at the moment, but even as incensed as I am, I can't bear to take it off. I haven't since he gave it to me.

I'm bundled up in the comforter, slowly regaining my warmth, when he returns with towels and dry clothes. He drops a towel on my head, and starts drying his own hair, seemingly already having changed clothes. After securing the comforter under my arms, I start to dry my own hair. At this point a normal person would just calm down, but we have already established that I'm a special kind of petty, so I deliberately begin doing the most inefficient job off toweling my scalp. This, of all things, seems to be the thing that finally annoys him, as he huffs and drops in front of me to vigorously take over.

I feel victorious for all of ten seconds until I realize that we are in ridiculously close proximity and I am, for all intents and purposes, naked. Lance seems to realize how unexpectedly intimate this moment is seconds later as he suddenly stops. I can't decipher what his facial expression is saying when I am finally brave enough to look up at him, so I am really caught by surprise at his next action.

He's… he's… kissing me. And it is unlike any other kiss we ever shared before. It isn't the awkward kiss from our wedding, or the quick, almost clinical pecks. This is more like the kisses the Ladies used to giggle about at the Dorm. It makes me wonder what I had been doing all this time when I could have been doing this. The kind that almost makes me whimper when he finally pulls away. At some point my eyes must have closed as I am a bit confused for a second when I can't see anything. However, what I do see makes me panic. I may have not been able to predict what he was going to do a minute ago, but this time it's all too clear. And right now, an apology is the last thing that I want. So I reach up before he can say anything and kiss him again, dropping the comforter in the process. Yesterday, or maybe even five minutes ago, I would have screamed at myself about what a bad idea this is, but right now I couldn't care less. Maybe it's because of my inexperience, but I have this desperate need to have him be in the same state of undress as me. The change of clothes will remain untouched tonight.

---

The feeling of Lance's fingers drawing patterns on my thigh wakes me. It feels nice, but now that I am not caught up in the haze of last night anymore, my ability to think rationally has returned. Although my body would love nothing more than to drag him on top of me again, I have to put a stop to this trajectory before it gets even more complicated.

“Lance...” Woah, that sounded a lot more seductive than I wanted.

“What do you need, Querida ?” He whispers as his hand moves up to my stomach. Maybe having this conversation as he's spooning me might not be the most productive strategy. I turn to face him, and am a little confused by his expression. Sure he sounded satisfied, but I thought that was just an involuntary physical reaction. Yet, he looks like he's eager to repeat our last activity, which makes absolutely no sense. I remember what Allura looked like, and I have no doubt in my mind that their relationship was physical. Even memories of being with her must be more appealing than fumbling around with a plain looking virgin like me. OK, as of now I can't really say I'm a virgin anymore, but my point still stands. I'm getting distracted, and if Lance's fingers moving on my back are any indication, so is he.

I clear my throat before I try talking again. “I think we need to talk about what happened.”

“Oh yeah?” He answers dreamily.

I take a deep breath. “I mean the fight.”

“Ahh.” That seems to sober him up. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to avoid...”

“It's alright” I interrupt him.

“Are you sure?” He asks as he sits up “I didn't mean to keep my past a secret, it's just not entirely my story to tell...”

“Yeah, it's fine,” I say as I also sit up, careful to keep myself as covered as possible. “It's your decision on what you want to share with me, and I can understand you not wanting me in particular to know about something so private.”

“OK, I feel like I'm the one out of the loop now. What do you mean by that? Is this about how you called yourself my, what was it, 'live-in Prison Warden'? What is that all about?”

“Oh.” Strange, it never occurred to me that he wasn't aware of my real purpose. I suppose that's part of the design of this sentence. “I guess what they teach at the Dormitory is not as common as I thought. The point is, they’re not just instructing us on how to be good wives, with the standard cooking, hosting, and child-rearing lectures. We are also told, or borderline brainwashed, into learning how to bring our 'husbands' defenses down, in order to find out if they are intent on some kind of criminal activity. Ladies that turn in their husbands are rewarded much more than those who keep them upstanding. I'm pretty sure this was mentioned in our wedding vows, you should be aware of this.”

“Honestly that entire ceremony is a blur to me. I'll admit it sounds somewhat familiar, but I thought that was just ceremonial.” He self-consciously scratches the back of his head. Quiznack, why is he so endearing?

I sigh. “Look, I was being unfair to you then. Clearly, we had a different perspective of our relationship, and I wasn't honest about how I felt about your past, and my lack of knowledge. But you don't have to feel like you have to tell me. You've been nothing but kind to me all this time and you don't owe me anything.”

“I beg to differ, I literally owe you my life. If there is anything you want to know, all you have to do is ask.”

I am tempted to take him up on his offer, but I am still afraid of hearing the answer. “I'll wait until you're ready to tell me.”

He lets out a huge breath as he lies back. “I'm going to warn you now, that might take some time. There are some details I'm still trying to process myself, but I promise I will tell you everything.” The look in his eyes is incredibly sincere. “But I'll tell you right now, it's not as sordid as you probably think it is. I was essentially a glorified errand boy.” He stretches out his arms as he says this, which is insanely distracting. I shake my head and brace myself for the next part of our conversation. Sure, it's been going well until now, but it's bound to get somewhat awkward now that I'm actually addressing the other thing that happened.

“So, we should probably also discuss our… uh… tryst last night.”

This makes Lance overly alert again, and it's all I can do not just jump him myself. “That sounds reasonable.” He quips as he sits up again and tries to get as close as possible.

“I don't think it should happen again.”

“Oh...” He visibly deflates. “I must have really hurt you.”

Are you kidding me? How could he be this precious? “I mean at least for now. We clearly still have mixed feelings about each other, so we should probably hold off on a physical relationship until we have a better handle on things, right?” I add on. It feels a bit manipulative to imply that we might have a physical relationship again in the near future, but I just can't help myself. It kills me to seem him look so guilty.

“I guess that makes sense.” He says despondently, but at the very least he doesn't look as upset as he did earlier. “I wouldn't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You mean a lot to me, Katie Holt.”

I am probably going to regret this, but the thought of him thinking that he makes me even remotely uncomfortable is killing me. “I wouldn't say you made me uncomfortable, it was just surprising. But it was not a bad kind of surprising.”

“I don't mind waiting. But I'll admit, it's going to be hard to think of anything else for a long time.”

“Is there anything I can do to make things easier?” So much for being rational. I can't even pretend I'm not doing this deliberately.

“Could I kiss you again?” We can both tell that it won't stop at just a kiss, but I can't stop my head from nodding. Post-coital euphoria is no joke. The kiss we share makes my entire body tingle, and as I suspected, it didn't stop at just my lips. He kisses my cheek, my neck, and basically the entire area between my shoulders, and I do nothing to stop him. In fact, I eagerly shed my covering as he pulls me towards him. After all the times we did it last night, what's one more bout going to change? We can always start abstaining afterwards.

---

We wound up doing it four more times that day, five if you count us fooling around in the bath. And then a few more times the next day, and the next, and the next. At this point I've stopped telling myself that it would be the last time with every new instance. Those Dayaks really undersold how addicting sex is. However, the most surprising thing is how easily this new aspect fits into our routine. I still work on my projects, Lance still gardens, we go on little adventures, and hang out with our friends and he still does things ‘Just Because'. The only difference is that our physical interactions have had an upgrade. Hand-holding has become wrapping our arms around each other's shoulders, or waist in my case. Our chaste pecks have become toe-curling kisses. Caressing my hair is basically foreplay, and my morning forehead kisses are now naked cuddles.

I'm afraid we have become that couple, and yes, Hunk gives me grief about it. However, I can't bring myself to say that I don't like this development. Sure, my old concerns haven't completely disappeared, but this isn't really compromising my determination not to fall in love with Lance. After all, the new physical aspect to our relationship is just that - physical. We're both young and have needs, plus whenever we're together like that it relieves a huge amount of stress. Things like the nature of Lance's feelings for the princess, or the fact that we were essentially married under duress don't seem to matter when we're writhing naked in bed.

And the quiet moments are pretty blissful too. Like the one we are having right now. I am lying on top of him, my favorite place to lounge actually, just enjoying our after-sex haze, and Lance seems to be fascinated with my bracelet today. I for the life of me can't fathom why as he was the one who made it, but he can't seem to stop fiddling with it. It's a simple thing, a blue and a green wire entwined with a steel medallion attached. However, I love it. Even if whatever we had right now came to an end, I don't think I could bring myself to part with it no matter how painful it was.

“So, you really don't ever take it off? Not even when you shower?”

“Yeah, you might not have been aware of it, but you actually picked the perfect materials to make this with. You see, Olkari tech is made to interface with nature, so among other things it is waterproof. And the steel you chose is actually Taujeerian Steel, which is made to withstand the most harrowing environments, and basically never rusts.”

“Huh. I was just thinking it looked pretty together, and that you would like it because it’s techy.”

“I mean you’re not wrong” I shrug. “It also reminds me of you, so each time I look at it I can't help but smile.”

“Aww!” he says as he kisses my wrist, inexplicably making me giggle.

“I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. The gift giving aspect wasn't really focused upon in my lectures at the Dormitory, I was completely unprepared to give you a gift in return.”

“You know, Pigeon, at some point you will have to stop blaming everything on the Dormitory, and take responsibility for your actions. I'm a sensitive man, I can only take so much.” He over-dramatically covers his eyes with his right arm as he says this, milking this shtick for all it's worth.

“Alright, sensitive man” I say as push myself off his chest “I'll let you throw your pity party, but I would like to take a hot shower, so I'm going to go do that now.” I actually strut out of our room. I don't think I've ever strutted before, especially not in the nude. It seems to have made an impression on Lance too, because he suddenly seems to be less upset about the fact that I haven't gotten him a gift and follows me into the bathroom. However, that fact lingers with me to the point that I can't focus on my projects. So I do the logical thing and turn that into my new project. I start the first phase at lunch.

“Hey, I got inspired for a new project and I need to get some new material. Do you want to help out?”

Risky move, but I do need some material for other projects, and it's not unusual for me to ask him to accompany me either. He might not be tech savvy, but he likes shopping and is better at haggling than I am so he's actually very useful. I'm sure he won't get suspicious if I sneak off to purchase a bit of Snick Leather.

“Sure, you don't even need to ask. You wanna go today?”

“For the most part. There is some stuff you can't find here, so I was thinking of taking a weekend trip to Arus. I wish I didn't have to travel so far for those items, but it should be exciting to see our old neighborhood again. We could even visit the beach for a bit.”

“Ah! I'd love to, but I already promised to babysit for Hunk and Shay. They are going on their Anniversary vacation, remember?”

“Oh yeah, that totally escaped my mind.” I was completely aware of it. “That's too bad, it would have been fun to go with you… I know! I'll go with Matt. It's been a while since we hung out.” Basically since I started sleeping with Lance, but I'm sure there's no correlation.

“That's a great idea! But I really wish I could go with you. Are you sure you can't postpone your trip to next weekend?”

“The materials I'm looking for are pretty rare, if I go later I might not be able to get everything I need.”

“Fair enough.”

“Plus, we've been doing almost everything together since the wedding. Some space will do us good. Not to mention what we can do when I return.” I gently place my hand on his thigh, and give him my most innocent look. A winning combination, that I've only discovered recently. He doesn't have a chance.

“A-as long as you don't miss me too much.” he manages to pant out. Score.

---

Acquiring the Snick Leather was effortless. Not only did I get it without Lance getting any wiser, but I got it at a pretty good price too. Despite its durability, it's not the most popular material as it is not too attractive. Works for me. Things become dicey on the weekend trip. Not because Lance got suspicious, at least I don't think he did, but because Matt happened to catch us in very intense goodbye kiss. I'm actually surprised he didn't comment on it until we got to the beach.

“Are you still convinced your feelings are one sided?”

“Just because we're having sex doesn't mean that we're in love.”

“Uh, you're married, so it's not just sex. Besides, all I knew up till now, is that you enjoy heavy makeouts. It's curious that you would bring up sex in the first place.”

“First of all, we were forced into getting married so it doesn't count. Also, I thought you were the older sibling. You should know that things are never that cut and dry.”

“Oh yeah? Then what are we doing here?”

“What do you mean now?”

“I mean, we’re hunting for sea glass for a sentimental gift. That doesn't sound like prototypical friends-with-benefits behavior.”

“He already gave me a gift, it would be rude not to give one back in return.”

“And that's another thing!” He emphasizes as he grabs my right arm. “Don't you think this bracelet is a very romantic gesture? I mean he made it of materials you like working with, and he even had the medallion engraved with… S.H? I don't get it?”

“It's my name, genius.”

“Really? Because last I checked, neither Katie nor Pidge started with an 'S'... Wait, is Lance in love with Dad?”

“No, doofus. It's my legal name. He wanted to do my initials originally, but there was only enough space for two letters. He couldn't decide between K.H or P.H, so went with S.H, for Serrano-Holt… Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why didn't you tell me this before?”

“You never asked. I still don't see why that's making you look so giddy.”

“It's because he's staking his claim.”

“No, he's not!”

“But he totally is! Fact the first, he gave you a gift. But not just any gift, a self-made gift, so it is unique, and the connection with him is undeniable.”

“Matt...”

“Fact the second! He gave it to you spontaneously, not because of an anniversary, birthday, or romantic holiday, simply to please you.”

“Your wrong on that part, it was a late wedding gift.”

“Oh, you mean a gift for a government imposed ceremony where such sentimental gestures are not only not required, but are not expected whatsoever?”

“...”

“That's what I thought. Getting to the final fact, he literally put his name on it. If that isn't a classic display of primal ownership, I don't know what is.”

“You're reading too much into this, he gave this to me way before we… became this intimate.”

“Aww, look who's feeling bashful now” he mocks me. I punch him in the arm for his troubles. “But this just builds my case for me. This way you can't write this off as him rewarding you for keeping his endorphins active. He just, possibly on just a subconscious level, wanted to signal that you're taken.”

His arguments are actually compelling, but I don't want to admit it. I go back to searching for the perfect piece of sea glass.

“So do you admit defeat?”

“I think it's pointless to speculate about his feelings, when I could just ask him.”

“So are you going to?”

“No, and do you know why? Because I don't care.” Matt shrugs, but doesn't look convinced. I ignore him, and focus on my search. It takes a bit of time, but I eventually find the perfect one. It's shaped like a drop, almost as blue as Lance's eyes, but it also has some flecks of green, that give it an oceanic look. I grab a few more as backup. Luckily, Matt seems to be satisfied with all the comments he made about my relationship, as he doesn't make any more remarks about it as we head to the Artisan. In fact, the rest of the trip goes much more smoothly. The Artisan, an old friend of Matt's named Nyma, is patient with me and I only destroy two of my backup glass pieces as I drill holes into them. She even helps me treat the Snick Leather, although not without scoffing.

“It's just such an ugly red.” She mutters. I don't argue with her, because I’m not in the mood to get into the cliche ‘Style vs. Function’ debate. Also, she's not forcing me to pick another material, so I don't really care what she says. After all, it's not for her.

“Do you want it reinforced?” She asks as I am about to attach the sea glass to the leather strip.

“What, the leather?”

“No, the only thing the Snick Leather needs is a dye job, which is impossible, because it's the leather from hell. I was actually talking about the sea glass. Based on your choice of leathers, you're hoping to make this trinket last for years. Well if you use this glass in its current state, it will last a week. A month if you're extra careful. However, there is a firing process that can make it nigh invulnerable. You know, if it doesn't burst from the pressure. But hey, that's what you have back-ups for.”

“Sounds good, let's do it.”

“Yeah, actually it's an eight hour process. And we only have the one oven, which won't be available for the weekend. But I still highly recommend that you take the extra wait time to have it done. I'll just have to mail it to you.”

“OK, do you have a piece of paper somewhere?”

I write down my address, and then I head out to meet Matt at the place we're lodging. I'm a little disappointed that I can't have the final touch on the necklace, but I did do most of the work, so I am quite content with that. Maybe it's Matt's theory, Hunk's past teasing, my own secret hopes swirling around in my head, or just the simple fact it now feels weird to sleep without Lance's body heat surrounding me, but that night I find myself having a hard time falling asleep.

---

I did not actually expect to find the sea glass so soon, so we're heading back a day early. I just said goodbye to Matt and am heading to Hunk and Shay's place, where I expect Lance to still be. I see the kids playing in the garden as I approach. Hopefully, they're in a compliant mood.

“Hey guys!” I wave at them in what I hope comes across as friendly. Tui waves back, Mirax just glares. Oh goody, this is going to be fun. “Do you know where Uncle Lance is?”

“Yeah! He is...” Tui starts before he is interrupted by his sister

“Don't tell her.”

“Why not?”

“Because...” she looks at me smugly now “she is a stranger.”

I'm a what now?

“I'm not a stranger Mirax. I'm Uncle Lance's wife, remember?”

“Then why didn't you have a wedding?”

“We did have one, you just weren't there.”

“Why weren't we there?”

Geez, how do I say “because your parents didn't think a potential public execution was their idea of a fun family activity” without scaring her?

“It was a secret wedding. In fact, it was so secret, we didn't even know it was going to happen until it did.”

“That's not how weddings work!” She protests.

Wow, was I this opinionated as a three year old? I look to Tui in the vain hopes that he could help me, but all he does is shrug. Brilliant, I guess I'll have to use my secret weapon.

“Well I guess if I'm a stranger I'll have to eat these peanut butter cookies by myself” I say as I grab the packet of cookies from my satchel. This suddenly gets their attention. “Oh, yeah. I was going to share these with my good friends Mirax and Tui. But if you say I'm a stranger, then I guess I can't share them after all. Too bad. I was really, really looking forward to sharing with my friends but I guess I have no choice. Aaaa!” I take an exaggerated bite of the cookie. “No choice at all.”

Tui gives his sister a distressed look. Mirax looks like she's weighing up if her principles or a cookie have priority. In the end cookies win, naturally, because as much as she hates the fact that I take Uncle Lance's attention away from her, she is in fact only three. After two cookies, she is willing to talk.

“Uncle Lance is inside talking with his friend from the Castle. They have been in there forever, even though he promised to spend the weekend with us. And now you're going to take him away too.”

Friend from the Castle? Does she mean somebody from the Royal Guard? Or perhaps it's our case-worker. Is Lance finally going to be reassigned?

“I wasn't going to take Uncle Lance away. I just got back early and I wanted to say hi. I'll go check what's taking him so long, OK?”

“OK.” Mirax nods her agreement. I head for the front door and try my best to sneak insides in the hopes of surprising him. Instead I am startled when I discover that the 'Friend from the Castle' was none other than Princess Allura.

---

It's been a week, and I still can't get the image out of my mind. They were hugging, and I think I saw tears in the princess' eyes. I'm not proud of my decision to flee, but I had been so overwhelmed with emotions that I was afraid of what I would do. A part of me hopes this is a misunderstanding, but I don't feel so optimistic about that. Lance insisted that there was no relationship between him and Allura, but perhaps he just wasn't aware of how she felt about him. The fact that she went so far as to find out which door I would be behind, coupled with how sad she was that day, clearly indicates that she has some regard for him. I want to scream and beg simultaneously, anything to make him experience the fraction of the turmoil I am going through. But I know the moment I do that, I will put an end to what we have, and as miserable as I am, I can't quite bring myself to do that. So, I'll just wait until he finally calls it quits, no matter how long it takes.

I can't bear to be intimate with him anymore. Not now that I've finally stopped lying to myself. There's nothing like seeing your husband embracing another woman to make you admit that you're in love with him, am I right? Lance never questioned me about my sudden reluctance, but I can see that he's confused. It almost makes me want to just confess everything, but I'm afraid of what the outcome to that will be. No, I just want to savour what little time I have left. I know my actions might not reflect it, but even like this I still cherish his presence, and I don't want to be the one that pushes him away.

In other news, the gift arrived yesterday. I contemplated throwing it out the whole day, but for the same reason I still haven't taken my bracelet off, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. It was a labor of love, and even if he doesn't return my feelings, I would like to give it to him some day. Perhaps as a farewell present.

“Pidge, I think we should talk.” Oh. I somehow thought I would have more time. “I might be the one overthinking things for once, but I feel like there is something off between us, and I don't know how to fix it. So if I upset you somehow then please, just tell me what I can do to make things right?”

Here goes nothing.

“... I love you, Lance.” His eyes practically pop out. “And before you say anything, I need to get a few more things of my chest, so please let me just say it all first.” He was already in the midst of saying something, but instead he shuts his mouth and nods. I take a deep breath. “I know about you and Allura. Or at the very least, I think I do. I am aware she acquired confidential information just so she could help you choose the right door. I know this because she told me as much at the wedding. I know that she played a central part in you being convicted. I also saw her hugging you with tears in her eyes.

So, I've come to a decision. I appreciate everything you have done on my behalf. However, I want you to think about yourself now. The woman you loved returns your feelings, at least to some degree. So if you think there's a chance you can be together, then I want to support you. I know it will hurt, but don't worry about me. You're my first love, so heartbreak was inevitable. And I know it will be complicated, what with us being married, and Lotor being ridiculously possessive of Allura, but I'm sure we'll work something out so...” I need to grab the gift “... that's the gist of it.” I head towards our room but am not able to take any more than two steps before Lance picks me up and begins showering my face with kisses. Three on my forehead, five on my left cheek, eight on my right, two on each eyelid, and countless ones on my temples. What is going on?

“I'm so sorry” Huh? “I'm sorry, I love you too. So much, you have no idea. And is it OK if I talk now? Quiznack, I should have told you everything ages ago. True, I didn't have all the facts until recently, but I should have told you what little I know. I can't believe I left you to worry about whether I was hung up on somebody else. Can you ever forgive me?”

I am honestly too dazed to move. He carries me to the living room, where he sits down on his favorite spot and makes it a point not to let me leave his lap. He puts his forehead against mine, takes a deep breath, and begins his story.

---

I was 18 and had just been inducted officially into the Royal Guard. That very year, Princess Allura of Altea arrived for what was officially a diplomatic mission, but that everybody knew was ploy to create an alliance via marriage between her and Lotor. I think pretty much everybody who didn't already have a significant other was a little bit in love with her. A princess is basically every soldier's fantasy, and it didn't hurt that she was stunning to look at. And you know me, even back in Arus I was always full of bluster. I kept on bragging about the fact that the princess was going to fall hopelessly in love with me, it was just a matter of time, despite never having talked to her.

One day, one of my fellow soldiers—I think it might have been Griffin, it could have been Kinkade—dared me to actually do something about it if I was so confident. So I did… by writing love poems. Please don't ask me to recite any, just thinking about them makes me wince. Anyway, I would basically compose these atrocious poems and then hand them over to Allura's handmaiden—Romelle. You remember her, right?—in the hopes that she would deliver them. For a while, nothing happened, but one day Romelle actually returned with a response from the princess. She also had a note, which was apparently from her to 'the handsome broody one.' I knew right away she must be talking about Keith. The letter I got was a polite refusal, and I never did find out what was in Keith's note because right after he read it he kissed it and then burned it. I thought that was odd, but I generally thought that he was an odd person, so I shrugged it off.

For a few months, this was the pattern. I would send a sub-par poem, Romelle would deliver a polite rejection letter from the princess, and a personal note for Keith. I would deliberately misconstrue my message, Keith would kiss his note and burn it, I’d wait a week, we’d restart the cycle. It was as routine as marching. And then the messages stopped. Even I could recognize that as a dismissal, and although I was upset for a bit, I got over it. At the very least I took comfort in the fact that Keith seemed to have been dumped by Romelle too. And hey, being dumped by a handmaiden has got to be more embarrassing than being dumped by a princess. When I reached out to him, in the hopes of having someone to commiserate with, he told me that they had moved, 'beyond the letter writing stage'. You bet that annoyed me like nothing else.

However, I started to become curious. Keith and I shared the same quarters, so I always noticed when he sneaked in and out. I started to notice that every-time he returned he actually looked happy, which if you knew Keith you would know is super rare. The fact that his relationship could change his attitude this drastically was nothing short of miraculous to me. So one day I asked him 'What's it like to be in love?' He was hesitant to answer me at first, but when I confessed that I am not sure I really know what it feels like, after some deliberation he basically recited this huge monologue about love from scratch. I think, to this day that's the most I heard him speak, and I wish I could remember everything, but I think it boiled down to 'loving someone is finding wonder in the small things and uninhibitedly facing the big things.' Not only did he give me a new understanding of love, but I realized, that I might have been writing him off too harshly. So, I offered to be an open ear if he ever wanted to gush about his lady friend. I was actually surprised when he actually took me up on that offer.

And so our friendship began. At first it was just him talking about Romelle—and perhaps I should have taken more note about the fact that he never referred to her by name. She, her, or occasionally 'My love', but never Romelle—but soon he talked about other topics. Like the fact that his mother is actually a member of the Galra Splinter Group who oppose the Emperor, and how he never understood how chants work. He even showed me some of his personal treasures.

Things were like this until maybe a week before our wedding. That day, Lotor stormed into our barracks, demanding that we report to him immediately. When we all had gathered, he held up a standard Royal Guard helmet and raged about the fact that somebody in our company had “soiled Princess Allura” and if we don't give the culprit up in five minutes he was going to make us all regret it. I, of course, had instantly realized who the helmet belonged to. Keith. I didn't have all the facts, but some things were suddenly clicking in my mind. The princess putting effort into composing responses to my stupid poems, Keith burning his letters, the fact that he never called Romelle by her name. Keith had never been in a relationship with Romelle, it had always been Allura. And I had been nothing but a smokescreen. I honestly felt a little betrayed, but I couldn't say I blame him. However, maybe because now I was invested in our friendship, maybe because I felt it was unfair that their love was going to be torn apart because of politics of all things, I claimed the helmet as mine. When people started doubting my claim, I told them I had been exchanging letters with Allura, and they could check my belongings for them. And, before I knew it, I was locked in a cell, condemned to the Lady or Lion Sentence.

Keith came by once, offered to tell the truth, told me he was sorry this was happening, that I shouldn't even be doing this because my family and friends would be devastated. All I asked him to do was to apologize to Allura for the garbage poetry. I was afraid, but willing to die for a noble cause. Perhaps in the future someone would write a ballad about me. But instead of getting mauled by a Lion, I got you.

---

“Wonderful, breathtaking you” he whispers as he pulls me closer to him. “I couldn't believe that I had not only survived, but become reconnected to one of my dearest friends. At first, I was just trying to cheer you up, because there was this melancholy that seemed to hang over you like a cloud. And then there was this one time I managed to make you laugh, and I remember thinking ‘Wow, there she is.' I think that must have been when I started to love you, because from that day, making you happy was the only thing that gave me joy. I like being around you, listening to you gush about your projects, watching your eyes light up when you found the perfect material for your inventions, and even when you're making fun of me. I couldn't get enough of you, and I honestly hadn't spared a thought towards Allura until that day we had that big fight.”

He sighs as he stroked my hair. “I should have told you about everything right then. I still don't know why I didn't. I guess I was embarrassed about my behavior, and perhaps I was afraid that you wouldn't like me anymore, or that you would misunderstand. And then when we had sex, I just got caught up with you in a completely different way. It is during this time I should have told you that I loved you, repeatedly. Even if you didn't believe me, at least you would know what's on my mind.” He leans back to take a look at me and gasps “Pidge, Katie, please don't cry. I can't handle that.”

“It's OK, Lance.” I manage to rasp out. “I'm just a little overwhelmed. Please, keep going.”

“OK, so when Allura came by, it was because Keith and her had decided to run away together and she wanted to check up on me, say goodbye, and give me an explanation and apology.”

“So, what did she tell you?”

“Uhm, turns out Keith was also a member of this Splinter Group like his mother. He was tasked with protecting the Princess as some Galra officials were against an alliance with Altea and they were willing to assassinate her to further their goals. Keith saved her from a few of these assassins, and once the sources were rooted out and dealt with, he was technically supposed to disappear and return to his headquarters. But he didn't do it. At that point he had fallen in love with Allura, and as it turned out, she had fallen for him as well. It was around then that the whole letter business started.”

“That's… quite dramatic.”

“I know!” he laughs, but suddenly becomes serious again. “Pidge, I really screwed up. I caused you so much pain and distress when that's the last thing I ever wanted for you. If you give me another chance, I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you and try my best to never let anything like this happen again. So… what do you say?”

A million arguments flood my mind, but they seem to be dashed by some aspect of his confession. After some thought I finally said. “You're really going to do whatever it takes?”

“Yes, mi Reina , anything.”

“So, you'll do anything I ask?”

“As long as I don't get hurt, yes.”

“... Say it again.”

“Say what again?”

“That you love me.”

I don't know if I have ever seen him smile more beautifully than he is smiling now. “I love you.” He says as he caresses my cheek. “I love you, Pidge.” He strokes my hair. “I love you, Katie.” He kisses my nose. “I love you, Katie Holt.” A kiss to my neck that makes me sigh. “I love you, Pidge Holt.” One of his hands go under my shirt. “I love you, Katie Pidge Holt.” He finally kisses my lips. “I love you so much, Katie Pidge Serrano-Holt, it scares me sometimes.” He's got me wrapped up in his arms. He's about to say it again, when I interrupt him by kissing his clavicle. “I love you too, Lance Serrano. Despite my hesitation.”

And then it devolves into a game. An 'I love you' plus an intimate act, back and forth, gradually escalating. We wind up in our room, divested of our clothes and excited to make love to each other. It's a little different from how it used to be, less frantic, more drawn out. It's less about pleasuring our bodies and more about demonstrating how we feel for each other. We go on like this until we run out of steam, which happens to be towards the dawn.

Surprisingly, I wake up again in an hour, afraid that everything was a dream that came about from my yearning. And that is when I hear him whisper 'I love you, Katie' in his sleep, confirming that it had all been reality. I think I could die here and I would be content. I am overcome with a desire to kiss him all over his beautiful face, but first, I grab his gift from its hiding place. I give in to my earlier desire, and before long, he is kissing me back.

“What did I do to earn such a pleasant wake-up call?”

“I kinda need you to do something for me.”

He sighs. “Sure, what do you need?”

“Could you close your eyes and sit up.”

“Uh, OK?” Have I ever mentioned how adorable, sleepy, confused Lance is? When he complies with my request I take the necklace out of the box, and put it over his neck. I smile when I realize that my ideal sea glass made it through the reinforcing process.

“OK, you can open your eyes now.”

“Can I also lie back down?”

“If you prefer.” He drops back onto the bed, and slowly flutters his eyes open. In his sleepy state, it takes him a little to process that he has a necklace on now.

“Wait, did you...?”

“Yes.”

“For me?”

“Yes, do you like it?”

“Of course I do, but why? It's not going to be my birthday for another two months.”

I shrug, before lying on top of him and kissing him again.

“Just Because.”

#Lady or the Tiger AU #Pining #Misunderstanding #plance #Plance Minibang 2019 #Why do I always write stories where Pidge is in denial?#Future edits to be made for both this and the Ao3 version

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lonelypond · 5 years

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Moonlight Becomes You: Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 1

NozoEli, Love Live, 2.5K, 1/?

Summary: Ayase Eli has a slightly less thoroughly organized LA life than just a few weeks ago, a part time job, college bff, Yazawa Nico, for a housemate, a once a month case of serious bed head, and a new dance project to distract her from a certain fortuneteller Eli has recently befriended. Nico, meanwhile, is text flirting with Nishikino Maki, aka DJ Diamond Princess, who can't seem to keep herself in LA. And a few new players enter the scene. The sequel to Moonlight Becomes You.

Change Will Come

Nozomi Tojo had been spending more time here, at her favorite bookstore, a smaller shop than hers even, off an alley she wasn’t sure how she’d found the first time. It was a cosy aesthetic, a little cluttered but still giving off a sense of sparseness, of spaces you could expand in to as you considered what the day had brought to you. And no Russian spices drifted in. The prickly kind Hanamaru Kunikida and her partner, Yohane, had set up a nook for Nozomi in the very back, there was even a very ancient Japanese screen Yohane swore she knew the noblewoman who’d originally sat behind it for days when Nozomi wanted no prying eyes. Today, Nozomi was at a more central table, frowning over her cards, she could feel herself biting the inside of her lip whenever she put down the mug of tea. The central card in this three card spread had stayed her hand, flipped her stomach. Death. Nozomi was too experienced for the rookie mistake of letting the Death card make her fear for her mortality, but she was too too aware that it was a glaring neon sign, especially in the central, present spot that change, capital C Change, major LIFE CHANGE™ was on the Cosmic menu. Add in the reversed quality and there was the screaming sense that Nozomi was avoiding something. With The Chariot bold to the left of it, one might venture a guess that Nozomi was avoiding someone charismatic, determined. The Four of Cups nudged Nozomi to reach out for an opportunity. Nozomi groaned and lowered her head to the table.

“Nozomi-chan?” Hanamaru’s soft voice drifted through the incense and Nozomi felt the swoosh of a fallen angel swooping in to eavesdrop on her reading.

“She’s avoiding something, Zuramaru. The Death card is flipping her off and the Four of Cups is calling her out for low self esteem.” A deep voice echoed around Nozomi, who refused to raise her head. “Has she met someone recently?” A huge intake, and then the deep voice screeched into a higher register, “Is that why you’ve practically moved in? Who is she?” Another voice switch, “The Fallen Angel Yohane will cast her net into the abyss and pull forth a lantern to shine and show her fellow wanderer of Destiny the path forward.”

Nozomi heard Hanamaru tickle her lover, who squeaked, and flumped down onto the pillow next to Nozomi while Hanamaru sat less dramatically on Nozomi’s other side.

“Nozomi-chan…” Hanamaru wheedled. One of the reasons Nozomi felt so comfortable here is that Hanamaru had also grown up in Japan, Nozomi just wasn’t sure which era, and refused to give up her vocal tics, even when she spoke mostly fluent English.

“Her name is Eli.” Nozomi felt Yoshiko sit up next to her with a hiss of breath, but Nozomi managed to grab the Fallen Angel’s hand before she touched Nozomi’s cards, Nozomi raised her head, smiling at both her friends. Hanamaru was in a floral skirt and soft fuzzy tan sweater that complemented her eyes, fair hair framing her face. Yoshiko was in a leather jacket, sugar skull splashed across a black tank top, and torn jeans, midnight hair in a bun. “Use your own, devil.”

Yoshiko grumbled, looking to Hanamaru for support, but the fair haired maiden just shrugged. Yoshiko hung her head for a minute, but when she raised it, her violet eyes were aflame with inspiration. She grabbed Nozomi’s tea cup before Nozomi could react, swallowed the rest of the tea, turned the cup three times while humming complacently and then slammed the cup dramatically back on the table. When it finished rocking, unbroken, Yoshiko inched forward to peer inside.

“Is it a bomb?” Nozomi giggled.

“A blonde.” Yoshiko muttered. Nozomi froze.

Yoshiko leapt to her feet, throwing both hands up, “The Great Yohane has called forth success in love as great as her own for her…” she looked sideways at Nozomi, who frowned with the slightest shake of her head, “her great and wise friend, Nozomi, washed up from the far reaches of the East on this Western shore. If, “And here Yoshiko flopped next to Nozomi, head on Nozomi’s shoulders, “she’ll stop hiding in the back of her best friend’s store.”

“Oh.” Nozomi mouth matched her choice of word.

“Yoshiko-chan is very wise tod…”

“Yohane…”

Hanamaru leaned over to kiss her lover on the cheek, “Thank you, Yoshiko-chan.”

Yoshiko blushed, and pushed away from the table, “I’ve got a meeting tonight. I’ll see you later, Zuramaru?”

“Looking forward to it,” Hanamaru managed an endearing and unique blend of cheeky and cheering whenever Yoshiko needed push.

“Meeting?” Nozomi asked as the door chimes played Yoshiko out.

Hanamaru froze, hand on the teapot. Nozomi became instantly suspicious, “Maru-chan?”

Hananamaru blew out a long breath, her eyelashes blinking wildly, “You know how Yoshiko…”

“Yohane” Nozomi deepened her voice and Hanamaru flinched, then scowled, her nose crinkling up. Once again, adorable.

“Is interested in cryptids?”

Nozomi nodded.

“There’s a reading group. Sometimes, they meet here, but mostly they meet…” Hanamaru paused, “somewhere else.”

Nozomi couldn’t help it, the huge laughs just rolled out of her, while Hanamaru watched curiously and mildly concerned. When Nozomi came up for air, she smirked at her friend, “You, Kunikada Hanamaru, are a worse liar than that grounded Fallen Angel you call your girlfriend.”

Hanaamaru’s eyes were blanks as she replayed Yoshiko’s latest pronouncement, “Displaced Celestial Being. Yohane is rebranding.”

Nozomi still had a chuckle left, “Oh, that’s a good one.”

Hanamaru passed a hand over Nozomi’s cards, “If you actually stopped avoiding this Eli, maybe I could be laughing at your girlfriend.”

“Oh, so you want revenge, ZURAmaru.” Nozomi leaned in with a leer.

Hanamaru turned away, her profile scorn, her eyes saucy, “You know Yoshiko doesn’t like it when you call me that. And yes.”

Nozomi gathered her cards, “I’ll put that on the pro side of the list.”

“Nozomi....” Hanamaru’s tone matched the message from the cards in severity. “You know ignoring answers is throwing kindness back in the face of the gods.”

“Ah, Hanamaru, but…” Nozomi searched for the right word.

“Fearing.” Hanamaru dove in.

Nozomi countered, “hesitating in the face of change is so deeply human that surely the gods will be patient with me.”

Hanamaru stood, “Gods may be patient, girls not so much.”

Nozomi knew Yoshiko and Hanamaru could be trusted to speak the uncomfortable truths. She leaned back, remembering Eli’s bright blue eyes and wondering what they were looking at now.

###

Nico Yazawa was lying on their couch, her green, avocado based beauty treatment slathered all over her face. She had her cellphone raised and was snapping a selfie.

“We are not getting Russian food again. Nico loves you, but…” Nico sighed as she hit send, “But Nico misses the honey mustard drizzle over a LIGHT salad from Muskies. Just send the fortune teller a text and ask HER out for heavy Russian food.”

Eli frowned, fidgeting with the edge of the couch cushion. “Have you asked out the feral DJ who hates me yet?”

“Maki” Nico drawled, “is currently out of the country, in Toronto, with K Pop stars hanging off her arms. So Nico is waiting to ask in person. And sending selfies.”

Eli sat up from the other side of the couch, ripping Nico’s phone out of her hand and reading her last message:

“Hey, Ripped and REDonkulous, stop by Nico’s when you get back into the country.” And there was Nico’s green goop coated face, tongue sticking out, eyes wide and twinkling.

“You really did send a pic of you in that slop.”

Nico rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone back, “Nico always looks good. And Maki appreciates honesty. None of the K Pop stars will let her see an eyeliner smear, let alone the night before look.”

Maki’s ringtone went off.

“What did she say?” Eli was genuinely curious. Nico and Maki’s courtship was outside the boundaries of anything Eli considered a lead up to dating, but Nico seemed pretty calm and happy about her situation, unless Maki had posted a pic from gig recently.

“Are you auditioning for a zombie flick?” Nico almost flinched. No one but Eli would have noticed. Nico tossed her phone to the side, “So why won’t you text Nozomi?”

“What do I say?”

“Hi, remember me, we agreed to be friends because I’m too much of a coward to ask you on a date.”

Eli reached behind her to grab a pillow and toss it at Nico, “I’m not a coward…” Eli’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Things are just weird right now. And I have a lot going on besides the...”

Nico leaned forward, using the pillow to prop her elbows on, “Ask her when she’s in, go have tea, let her read your future, and talk, Eli.” Nico tilted her head, almost smiling at her phone, “Even if they don’t say much, it’s still nice to have someone open your text, you know.”

Eli sighed, laid back down, her long legs stretching out next to Nico’s shorter ones, “Yeah.”

Nico watched her best friend, not hiding the sadness she knew was weighting her gaze. Eli wasn’t paying attention to her anymore, staring at the ceiling, thoughts elsewhere and Nico wished she had something comforting or constructive to say. And then her notifications pinged. Diamond Princess had posted a TWIG shot from tonight’s gig and there were five girls in skin tight clothing stretched out across her rig, mugging for her camera. Nico had problems too, even without monthly fur outbreaks.

###

You Watanabe’s least favorite thing about her job as the Coast Guard’s LAPD liaison was that she rarely got to wear her uniform. Too often she needed to slip under the radar, or pass as a someone out boating, or just be able to wander without her clothes or posture screaming “COP.” So she slouched, tried to bring back hacky sack, and switched her uniform hat for a dad cap. Of course, the friend she was meeting had it worse; at least You didn’t have to keep a pair of wings on the very low down low. Yoshiko, You had known her for a long time, most of them late nights in dark places, so Yoshiko allowed You to call her by her human name. These were human streets and it helped Yoshiko keep a barrier between these meetings and those with the more than mortal. You understood that, she too swam between two worlds, land and sea, footed and finned.

Yoshiko was whistling as she approached; You didn’t even have to turn, Yoshiko just settled a couple feet down the pier, leaning back against the railing, hands in the pocket of her leather jacket. No gang insignia on the back, just a pair of black glittery wings and Gothic graffiti reading “Dodged the Sun; Kicked the Moon.” You once again found herself taking a moment to appreciate how carved out of breathless glory Yoshiko looked when she forgot to dim the glamour. Then You stomped on her own foot and muttered, “friend, dating another friend, don’t go there.”

Yoshiko looked straight up, stretching her throat, then tilted her head to flutter eyelashes at her rendezvous mate, You was just glad the Fallen Angel wasn’t looking directly into the sun. That was always disconcerting.

“What’s up, Captain? What dark horrors can Yohane assist you in sealing away in the pit? ” Yoshiko sounded amused under the flare of drama, but whether she was reading You’s face or thoughts with those piercing purple eyes didn’t matter. You had been born an open book where women were concerned.

“The usual.” You chuckled, but her blue eyes flashed fierce. “Rumors. Bots. Trolls. Closed Facebook groups. TWIG hashtags. Social media chaos starting to spread, viral werewolves who transmit lycanthropy via saliva, mermaids drowning swimmers, wildfires being started by mutant Trinity Alps salamanders who breathe fire.” You hung her head, hands behind her neck, sighing, “It’s a flood.”

Yoshiko frowned. Hanamaru was pretty internet allergic, so Yohane spent maybe ninety minutes a day on the basics, on her phone, mostly responding to messages. She’d found it best to keep a low profile. It was too easy to feed the glamour greed; to start to crave the crowds, to yearn for the veneration. Hanamaru had pulled her back from that summit once; Yoshiko had kept herself grounded since then, helping others, in this world too modern and cynical to promote new gods to more than temporary power.

You continued, “Patterns seem to indicate local actors, a cell recently set up somewhere. There’s too many details and specific targets identified.” You took a piece of paper out of her pocket, “I think you’ll recognize some of the names.”

Yoshiko read quickly and then with a snap of her fingers and a spark the paper was gone, “I’ll warn them.” Yoshiko turned so she was facing You, “But what do I tell them?”

“The same thing I’m telling you.” Yoshiko’s name had been the first on that list, “Keep a low profile. Be wary of new people. And don’t have any more meetings at the bookstore, you goof.”

Yoshiko sighed, “Zuramaru will be sad; she likes making everyone cookies.”

“She can still make the cookies.” You was still not used to domestic Yohane, so concerned about the very prosaic activities of her partner.

“Oh that reminds me.” Yoshiko pulled a wrapped square out of one pocket, “She made you Orange Carrot Cookies. Says you need to fatten up.”

“Too busy burning off calories.” You’s best friend was the pool at her condo. Laps and lounging made her less likely to find leisure making her lonely. “Tell Hanamaru I appreciate the home baking. Does a sailor’s heart good.”

Yoshiko snorted, “Try that line on someone single, not MY wife, who’s waiting for ME.”

“Wife? You did it?” You's voice went shrill with surprise, carrying over the water.

Yoshiko startled, “Never mind that. Don’t tell Zuramaru I said….just…” Yoshiko closed her eyes, once again carved out of some substance more striking than flesh, her voice resonant with ancient echoes. “I gave up everything for her. And realized it had been nothing at all.” Yoshiko stood tall, grace in her smile as her voice softened.“Find you someone like that, my friend.”

“If only.” You pushed herself off the pier rail. “Take care of yourself. Tell Hanamaru I’ll stop by for dinner soon.”

“Good.” Yoshiko giggled, “You look hungry.”

“Or something…” You thought to herself as she waved Yoshiko off and turned to watch the sun drop into the iridescent sea.

A/N: I've been working on this for awhile, on and off. Turns out I miss writing a werewolf AU while spending my summer Shakespeare-ing. And I haven't really had the chance to write anything complicated with Aqours and I've been wanting to. So here we are. Enjoy!

#Love Live #Love Live Sunshine #NozoEli #NicoMaki #yoshimaru #Ayase Eli #Tojo Nozomi #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #Tsushima Yoshiko #Kunikida Hanamaru #Watanabe You #werewolf #cryptids #Yohane #LA #working up to dating #Apocalypse Midnight Dance

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imagine-loki · 6 years

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Monsters and Magic

TITLE: Monsters and Magic CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 40/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a vampire who helps the Avengers defeat an evil seethe of other vampires, and Loki befriends you after you end up in their custody RATING: T (so far) NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

“Bossy noodle,” you teased as you snuck your phone from your pocket to steal a picture of you kissing Loki’s cheek before you sat down to eat your dinner and drink your wine. Loki smiled and stole a kiss for you to take a picture of too. He enjoyed you taking pictures of the pair of you.

“Don’t post that pic or his army will revolt,” Stark teased.

You huffed and rolled your eyes. “Stark, I can’t post it, except to tumblr, the rest of social media thinks I’m dead, remember? Especially my family who needs to continue thinking I’m dead,” it was a miracle that they hadn’t believed yet that it was you hanging out with the Avengers. You figured that it was just that they knew you were dead that they didn’t question your doppelgänger. Either way, they hadn’t contacted the team asking about you and you tried not to be too much in the press. “And I’m not dumb enough to post it to tumblr and piss off his army,” you added quickly before anyone questioned you about your family. They couldn’t know you were alive. The vampires would kill them. Luckily, they lived outside the city, so you didn’t risk running into them.

“Has Lady Natasha gotten you a new identity yet?” Loki asked. You’d told him she was going to.

You nodded. “Yes, as Stark’s niece. It gives me an excuse for living here and working at Stark Industries,” you explained. Nat had been very thorough with your new identity. “But in all seriousness, if I go playing around too much on social media people might start figuring out who I am. It’s better if I don’t make a huge specticle of myself…” Before they could make a big deal about it you added. “Don’t worry about it, I’m perfectly happy keeping adorable pictures of the noodle to myself,”

“I like having you all to myself too, kitten,” Loki told you warmly and kissed your cheek.

You laughed. “You just don’t like other men looking at me,” you teased and stuck your tongue out at him while the others groaned at how adorable you were being.

Once dinner ended you used magic to summon clothes besides pajamas to wear, since pajamas are not outside clothes. “Where would you like to go, darling?” Loki asked you when you were dressed.

You looked over at him surprised. “Oh! I dont know. I assumed you had a plan. We could go get ice cream? No wait, you cant eat ice cream in public… um…”

“Are there any movies out that you would like to see?” he asked.

“We always go to the movies. You’ll be bored going to the movie theater again,” you reminded him. You checked the time and smirked. “I have an idea, but we’ll have to hurry… or not care if we’re there illegally after close…” Loki smirked at that last. He didn’t care one bit if you stayed wherever this was illegally after the place closed.

You took his hand and led the way, dragging him to a nearby zoo and grinned at him in delight when you dragged the poor confused god inside. “Behold, the creatures of Midgard!” you announced and beamed at him. He lit up in interest and you took his hand to lead him around and show him the animals in the zoo. He watched them in their enclosures in awe, though you saw him glance at you and seem relieved to see the smile on your face.

You did get concerned that he wasn’t having fun. These were pretty mundane creatures compared to things like bilgesnipe. Then you finally had an idea. “I know what you’ll like!” you told him brightly, trying so very hard to make sure he had fun too and dragged him into the snake house. “Lots of danger noodles!” you informed him brightly gesturing around to all the snakes in the snake house. Loki grinned in delight at all of the snakes and apparently decided to turn into one in solidarity, because the next instant there was a snake where your boyfriend had been. “Silly noodle,” you teased as you knelt to pet the snakes’s head. He slithered up your arm, resting across your shoulders, his tail wrapped around your arm. You giggled and carried him around the snake house so he could say hi to all of the other snakes. Some he stuck his tongue out at, some he hissed at, but he greeted every single snake in the snake house and seemed happy at doing in.

He eventually got bored and slithered back down to the floor to turn back into himself. At least you thought he was going to turn into himself. Instead, he was a gorgeous raven-haired lady instead. You knew Loki was genderfluid, you just hadn’t seen the evidence of it before. Loki was shy and reserved and Lady Loki was no different. Worse, she was scared that you would take it poorly. You could see it in her guarded expression, in her body language that was hunched in on herself nervously. You had to admit you were surprised since she hadn’t warned you, but you had accepted this part of your Loki without even having seen it. You gave her a bright smile and hugged her, leaning up to kiss her cheek. You took her hand. “C’mon, Lokes! I wanna see the big meows!” you told her brightly as if absolutely nothing had changed.

You saw Loki relax and light up in delight that you had accepted her just like that. It warmed your heart to see your gorgeous Lady Loki so happy. You wrapped your arms around one of hers adorably and dragged her over to the cat-house. You didn’t think about it as you stepped inside the dim building and didn’t even notice that your eyes started glowing when you stepped inside. You were too busy cooing over the cats.

Loki, however, noticed and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Your eyes are glowing, sweetheart.” She gave you a warm, loving smile, adoration in her eyes.

“Oh, shit. Sorry!” you told her quickly and waved your hand in front of your eyes to put the illusions back over your eyes to hide them from the mortals.

“No need to apologize, little one,” Lady Loki purred affectionately in your ear. “Your eyes are quite beautiful when they glow, though they and you always are,”

You blushed at the compliment, but rolled your eyes. You didn’t quite believe her since she wouldn’t have pointed out that your eyes were glowing if she was speaking the truth. “You’re an incorrigible flatterer even as a woman,” you informed Loki before you slowly, tentatively kissed her. You were unsure if your kisses would be welcome with Loki in this form.

Loki pulled you into a deep kiss, reassuring you that she wanted to kiss you just as much in this form as her other. “You are just too beautiful for words, kitten,” she told you warmly when she finally ended the kiss.

“Hardly in comparison to you, lady love,” you purred in reply and stole another kiss before you returned to cooing over the cats, Loki’s hand in yours. She seemed more interested in watching your interaction with the cats than with the giant cats themselves.

You pouted when the announcement came throughout the zoo that it was closing. “They don’t stay open much past dark,” you explained to Loki as you wandered with her back to the entrance. You didn’t feel like staying here illegally tonight. Maybe another night. Loki was a bad influence on you on certain things. “So I haven’t been to a zoo in years,” you told her as you walked.

“Then I am glad we could come now,” Loki told you warmly in reply.

“You had fun? I mean, I’m sure the creatures on Asgard are more interesting…” you asked worried that your dully Midgardian creatures would be boring to the god who had studied so much over her long life.

“I did have fun. Midgardian animals are not at all similar to those on Asgard,” Loki reassured you and sounded like she really was telling the truth. She did tend to avoid lying to you.

“Good!” you replied brightly and swung your clasped hands as you walked back to the tower. You did pause outside the tower when you made it back. “I don’t mind, and I love and support you no matter what you decide to do, but do you want to face the others in this form?” you asked Loki tentatively. You weren’t sure the rest of the team would be as accepting of Loki as you were. “I’ll kick their asses if they’re mean to you!” you added quickly, though you weren’t exactly in the shape to carry out that promise.

“It’s alright, darling. I don’t care what the rest of the team says or thinks. The only person whose opinion I care about is you,” she told you and gave you a soft sweet kiss.

“I’ll still kick their assess if they’re mean,” you offered after the kiss as you headed inside with your Loki.

“The kitten has claws,” she laughed and you couldn’t help lighting up at the melodic sound.

“I dont like them making you sad,” you replied firmly, punching the button for the common room floor a little harder than you needed.

“I’ll be alright, kitten,” she told you warmly. The elevator doors opened onto the living room and the rest of the team. They looked over automatically to welcome you home, but their mouths all fell open in surprise when they saw Loki.

Except Thor. Loki’s wonderful oaf of a brother just sauntered right over and kissed each of you on the hand in turn, because that’s just how ladies on Asgard were greeted. You could’ve kissed him for his open acceptance. The others would follow his lead. Loki gave her brother a small smile and spared a glance for the rest of the team, who were still all surprised. “What?” she asked innocently.

Nat grinned as she, and most of the others, jumped from surprise to shrugs of acceptance. Stark looked like he wanted to make a sarcastic comment, but Nat spoke up first before he could get himself defenestrated. “Some of the girls are coming over for ladies’ night tonight. I didn’t invite you two because sestricka is about as ungirly as anyone can get, but its margaritas, stupid girly movies, too much junk food, and nail polish if you want to join us?” Nat offered the pair of you with an accepting smile for Loki. You would have argued, but you were about the ungirliest girl ever. And spent most of your time working as a grease monkey/engineer in Tony’s lab.

Loki considered the invitation and seemed touched that she was even invited. “It sounds like fun,” she turned to you, knowing that it probably wasn’t your idea of a fun time. “How do you feel about it, sweetheart?” she asked you. She’d give up her fun for your comfort and you knew it.

You shrugged. “Could be fun,” you answered. You were willing to give it a shot. You gave Stark a glare, seeing the sarcastic comment on the tip of his tongue. You didn’t want him to make your Loki sad.

“Great! We’ll be taking over the living room at 7!” Nat told you both kindly.

Stark couldn’t hold it in anymore and opened his mouth to say something stupid. You turned, making a quick movement with your wrist in the same movement and your very unassuming watch turned into a repulsor on her palm, charged with its usual obvious sound and pointed at Stark. “I would highly reconsider whatever you’re going to say,” you warned him while everyone just stared that you had a repulser at all, much less one this high tech. Even Stark’s emergency repulsers weren’t this nice.

Loki just laughed and gave you a proud look. “I think he gets the picture, kitten,” she told you kindly, amused at your defense of her.

You looked over at her. “Are you sure?” you asked innocently.

Loki gave Stark a wicked smile, which looked somehow even more wicked on her female face. “If he tries to say anything, you are quite welcome to shoot him, but until then, we’re fine,”

You gave her a bright smile and leaned up to kiss Loki’s cheek. You shook your hand and the repulser turned back into a watch. “When did you make that?” Stark finally asked, shaking himself out of his stupor to come up with the question. He was as surprised as everyone else when you suddenly had tech for yourself. “And why is it nicer than mine?!” he demanded after he rushed over to taken your hand to investigate the tech and its construction.

You shrugged and let Stark look, though you realized quickly that he was touching you longer than your overprotective Loki would be comfortably with. “Made it a couple days ago when I was in the lab,” you replied a bit sheepishly. You weren’t forbidden from making weapons for yourself, but you usually made stuff for the team..

Loki moved to stand closer to you, glaring at Stark to remove his hands from you. Stark completely ignored her, his entire focus on the piece of tech on your wrist and asking questions about it as he manipulated it to transform again. Your wrist and hand remained firmly clasped in Stark’s callused grip. Loki summoned a dagger in one smooth movement. “Stark, I would remove your hands now before I sever them,” she told Stark dryly and too calmly.

Stark just looked at Loki confused. “What are you talking about, reindeer games?” he asked, apparently over Loki being female.

Loki got even more aggravated. “Let my little vampire go, Stark,” she growled, sounding even more menacing.

Stark made a disgusted face but dropped your hand quickly. “Seriously? She’s a kid, like I’d even be interested…” Stark growled. Loki just smirked at Stark and vanished the dagger from her hand. Stark grumbled something unflattering about overprotective aliens who fancied themselves to be gods. You wisely removed the unassuming watch and handed it to Stark so he could examine it without getting his hands sliced off.

You plopped down on the couch with one of the video game controllers. “Anyone fancy a game?” you asked, teasing as Loki sat next to you on the couch. He wanted to enjoy watching whoever challenged you get pummeled. Thor was the first to rise to the challenge as long as he could play as the thunder-mouse. You grinned and set up the fighting game. You let the poor oaf think he stood a chance before completely trouncing him. More people jumped in and out of the game each round, finding fun in the stupid silly fighting game.

Clint stuck his tongue out at you when you continued to win. “How are you so good at this?” he whined.

You laughed “It was the only thing my little sister and I could agree on. We’ve been playing this stupid game since the N64…” you explained. Seriously, it was the only thing you and Bree had everbeen able to agree on.

“Shouldn’t you be resting, little one?” Loki asked when you’d killed her brother in the game for about the hundredth time. Thor was persistent, even if he did suck at the game.

“I slept all day and I am resting,” you protested with a whine. “Kicking your brother’s ass at video games isn’t strenuous at all!~” you reminded her, still whining while Thor laughed at your ability to defeat him in such a spectacular manner.

Loki giggled “If you say so, darling. Have you had any blood today?” she continued to pester and mother-he.

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I had that mug before I introduced you to your army,” you reminded her. “Overprotective noodle,” you grumbled under your breath.

“Feisty kitten,”

“Can I go back to beating up your brother now?” you teased while Thor protested that he’d win.

“By all means, my love,”

You grinned in reply and proceeded to crush Thor. Multiple times. Until the pizza arrived. Nat was about to automatically tell Loki to go get it. She usually did, since she was amused by watching him deal with the delivery guys. She smirked at Loki though. “You’re excused from the manly job of carrying things,” she teased Loki, her tone making it clear that her teasing was friendly and in no way malicious. Loki could accept teasing from the team as long as they weren’t teasing maliciously. “Thor! Go get the pizzas!” Nat ordered instead. Loki giggled in delight at the fact that Thor was forced to go get the pizzas instead.

Thor grumbled, but goodnaturedly went to collect the pizzas. He returned with not only pizza, but accompanied by ladies with even more snack foods. Pepper has arrived with the margaritas, Jane and Darcy had junk food, Maria Hill brought even more booze. And the boys somehow find themselves kicked out of the living room. Thor kept trying to avoid getting kicked out by making out with Jane.

Unfortunately he did this right in front of Loki, who waved her hand and Thor vanished up to his room, where he was banished for the night. “Now, what shall we start with?” she asked pleasantly while Jane ineffectively spluttered that Loki made her boyfriend vanish.

“Who’s the new witch?” Darcy asked a bit densely with an approving smirk at Loki. The pizzas and a selection of DVDs were set out while Loki smirked at how oblivious Darcy was.

“That’s Loki, Darce,” Jane told her grumpily. She was still upset that Loki sent Thor away. She got over it quickly, though when she pulled a bottle of alcohol from her bag. “Thor gave me this for our evening,” she told you all, holding up the bottle of Asgardian booze to the cheers from the others as glasses of the stuff are poured and passed around.

Loki grabbed the glass from your reach before Jane handed it to you. “Be careful. This stuff is not meant for mortals,” she warned you firmly. Her tone was worried.

“She’s not mortal, Loki,” Nat reminded her gently. “Stop being so overprotective. We dont even know if she canget drunk. And if she does, she’s safe with us,” Nat reminded Loki reasonably. It wouldn’t do to have Loki make you be a prude. Loki sighed, conceding to Nat’s point and handed you the glass with a reminder to pleasebe careful.

You nodded and took the glass, sipping on it carefully through the evening. They started a movie, and it wasn’t the typical chick flick that you were expecting. Instead, it was a superhero movie with a female lead. The pizza was devoured and the nail polish came out. Somehow Loki ended up on the floor in front of your couch with you brushing out her long hair while Nat painted her nails jet black. You sat around with them gossiping about the boys on the team and other various silly topics. It was nice just to be accepted, and even nicer that they accepted Loki just as easily. Loki admired Nat’s work on her nails and seemed so very happy to be accepted by this odd group of women.

At one point during the evening, Darcy told Loki the story of tasing Thor while you contentedly brushed out Loki’s hair. You knew how much Loki loved having her hair played with usually. You figured that she would like it even better now that it was longer. Loki purred softly at the brush moving through her hair and laughed in absolute delight at the story of her brother getting tased. “And Jane hit him with her car! Twice!” Darcy added at the end of her story. She was having fun getting Loki to laugh.

Loki just started laughing harder. “My brother always gets himself into the worst situations,” she said between spurts of laughter.

“Though I have to admit he’s hot as hell. And his hammer,” Darch laughed at Jane’s horrified expression.

“HOW?!” Jane demanded angrily, wondering how Darcy had even seen that piece of Thor’s anatomy.

Darcy laughed at Jane’s indignant spluttering. “Your boyfriend has no shame and trapses around our apartment in nothing but his birthday suit. Not my fault!” Darcy protested. “And he’s a god if he’s traipsing around nude it would just be rudenot to appreciate the view,” she added conspiratorially.

There may have been quite a bit of booze consumed at that point of the evening.

Loki cringed at where the conversation was going. She didn’t want to hear anything about her brother’s ‘hammer’. Darcy laughed at Loki’s expression and drunkenly decided to make it even worse. “So, vampirina, what about that boyfriend of yours, surely he’s well endowed,” she teased, trying to make you blush, or come to Loki’s defense, or possibly make Loki blush. She was too drunk to tell properly.

You laughed and covered Loki’s ears with your hands. You knew it was completely ineffective and Loki could easily hear through your hands, but it was funny to the others to pretend she couldn’t. “A lady does not kiss and tell,” you told Darcy, while Loki pretended that she couldn’t hear a thing. She was shy, though, and didn’t want your activities aired in front of the others, especially this group that she didn’t know particularly well. Being seen making out around the tower was one thing, airing more private information than that wasn’t something she was comfortable with.

/Don’t worry, I’m not stupid enough to tell them anything/ you reassured your Loki and went back to the pleasant activity of brushing her hair, ignoring the boos from Darcy that you wouldn’t tell her anything about Loki.

You leaned down to whisper in Loki’s ear. “Are you going to be upset if I braid your hair? You can tell me not to, I won’t be offended,” you promised quickly. You knew how Loki was with her hair.

Loki smiled warmly up at you. “Do as you please. I don’t mind,” she told you warmly. You smiled in return, kissed Loki’s cheek, and began to carefully braid her hair.

Quite a few hours, multiple movies, too much junk food, and way too much booze passed and you ended up all quite drunk and happily passed out on the couches and cushions around the living room. You were curled on your usual couch with your Loki, protectively held in her arms. You were too giggly and kept stealing kisses from your love. In short, you had come to the conclusion that you could, in fact, become drunk.

Unfortunately, you were extremely drunk by the time you came to this conclusion.

Loki chuckled and gave you a softly, sleepy kiss. “Rest, little one,” she told you warmly, holding you securely in her arms and it wasn’t long before the amount of booze had you happily sleeping in your Loki’s arms.

It was much too early when the menfolk came stomping into the room. They could manage to be all quiet and stealthy on missions, but managed to stomp like a herd of elephants when trying to sneak past a room of hungover women.

Loki opened her eyes to glare at the annoying men, curling herself better around you as she closed her eyes again to try to sleep off the hangover. You mewed softly and hid your face against Loki, covering your ears with a whimper. Nat and Maria both drew their guns at the loud men out of reflex. They also appeared to have done this without bothering to open their eyes. Loki tried to soothe you, but the idiot men wouldn’t stop being clumsy and making noise.

Nat actually got off her couch and stormed to the herd of loud men. “Shut. Up.” She snarled firmly, leaving no room for question before she killed them all. “The tiny vampire is hung over for probably the first time ever. If you lot make her cry, there is nothing on god’s green earth to stop Loki from killing you where you stand. And she would take absolute delight in it. So shut up,” Nat snarled.

Loki gave her a grateful smile. “You should listen to Lady Natasha. If my kitten whines from a headache because of your noise, you will not like what happens,” she threatened while you mewed in her arms.

The menfolk all rushed to promise to be quiet and somehow ended up making even more noise on their way to the kitchen and still more while they attempted to make breakfast. You tried not to whimper or whine in order to save their lives. But you already had enhanced hearing and being hungover just made the situation worse.

Even hungover, Loki managed to summon and aim multiple daggers with magic and they flew toward the rowdy men.

“See if we make you breakfast!” Clint whined as he ducked under a table to avoid getting stabbed.

The only one who wasn’t affected was Bucky who had the art of moving silently down to a T. He came over with as many glasses of water as he could carry and began passing them and the good pain drugs out. “C'mon Striga, this’ll help,” he promised you softly and goaded you into sitting up. You whined and mewed and just wanted to close your eyes and sleep forever, but he eventually got you into a sitting position and soon had a glass of water and pain meds in your hands.

Loki gave Bucky a warm smile. “Thank you Sergeant,”

Bucky nodded and handed the bottle of pain meds marked in runes to Loki. “These ones are for you… your brother said the Midgardian medicine doesn’t work on you. He also said ‘Friggadotir’ is the correct form of address?” Bucky replied. He was trying to hard to be proper and show his support of Loki’s current gender by asking Thor how to be supportive. Loki gave him a warm smile and a nod, touched that Bucky was trying. Bucky turned back to your pathetic form and placed one of ht many pair of tinted glasses that were scattered around the tower for you on your nose. “I know it’s only just past dawn, but your eyes are sensitive enough. Its going to be worse hungover…” he told you softly and gently. “Drink your water. Breakfast will be ready soon and then you can go to bed,”

Bucky left you for a moment and returned with plates of eggs and toast for all of you, though there was also bacon on Loki’s plate since she seemed the least hungover of all of you. Lucky Asgardian and her crazy metabolism. “Thank you, Bucky,” she replied, trying out Bucky’s nickname since she considered the man a friend and was tired of being so formal and using his title all the time. She’d have to give him a nickname of his own at some point, but for now he could keep ‘Bucky’

Bucky nodded. “Don’t worry about it, Doll,” he replied without even thinking or realizing what he said. He turned his attention back to where you were staring absently at your plate of food. “Eat, Striga, you’ll feel better. And then you can go to bed with those nice blackout curtains you have,” he told you kindly. You managed to eat the food in front of you without throwing it up. That was a good sign.

Loki moved when you had finished eating and started to pick you up so she could get you to bed. Bucky placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “You’re off carrying things duty, remember?” Bucky asked, lightly teasing, his voice kind. “I’ve got Striga. You need to rest too.” Loki seemed to notice that she was a bit unsteady on her feet and allowed Bucky to pick you up instead. “You alright, doll?” Bucky asked, noting Loki’s unsteadiness.

“I might have had a little too much mead last night…” Loki replied sheepishly.

“I think it’s safe to say you all did ” Bucky replied dryly and somehow managed to get you both tucked into your bed. He closed the blackout curtains once you were safely settled in bed and didn’t seem inclined to wander off. “Sleep it off, dolls,” Bucky told you warmly.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #monsters and magic #chapter 40 #nekoamamori

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rniamnobodyimportant-blog · 5 years

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I have no where else to say this

I'm brand new to tumblr, and I intend to stay a stranger to it. However, I have something to say and on all other platforms, people know me. I dont want anyone to know me for this story, and I know that nobody will see this anyways... I just want to put this information somewhere else.

It's near the end of 2017, I was about to turn 17 in two days. At this time, I lived in Washington and I'm going through my usual feed on my goto app. I see a post some stranger made, I comment, they comment, we start chatting. It's a girl. I thought we would talk this one day and we wouldn't talk again. She messages me again, to my surprise. I have a new friend :)

It's been about a few days after my birthday. I'm 17, shes 18. She lives in California, about an hour and a half from my mom. We sent each other a pic to know what we look like. I'm ugly, as usual. I see her for the first time and....... shes ugly too. I think shes ugly, but that's okay because I can befriend a girl without catching feelings!

She is really nice. She wants to hear about how I'm doing and we send each other memes. I'm into darker or shit post stuff and shes more wholesome and silly, it works out though. We both like Marvel movies. She has a job, in college, talented with a variety of instruments. I worked in an unpaid internship, in senior year of high school, talented in nothing special. We get to learn about each other more, I see more pictures of her when she wants to know how she looks, shes still ugly but those glasses are adorable and her hair is fun. When I waited for the bus after my internship, we got to call and her voice sounded cute and her music made me smile. Oh wait oh no what am I thinking!

We got into conversation once about relationships. She told me about her online relationships that fell apart when they stopped talking to her or disappeared and how she was never in a real one and how she was desperate. I opened up about my experiences with other girls, and my long distance relationship (my ex left me for some fuck boy) and how I couldn't trust long distance. And I talk about how I've stopped being confident after that and never got with anyone since...

I start asking myself, "do I like her?" I can't, shes not that pretty, and she lives states away, and I'll only get heart broken because no one would ever date me anymore. But everytime she talks about finding a guy she likes, I get a bit depressed. And everytime whichever guy she was into stands her up or ghosts her, I get mad about those terrible guys who led her on. But I can't tell her I have feelings because I don't know if I really do or if I'm just lonely and I figured that she wouldn't reciprocate those feelings and I didnt want to ruin our friendship, as she was basically my best friend by this time.

We know each other pretty well by the end of my high school year, and she congratulates me when I graduate. Always there when I had problems, makes me laugh, makes me smile, I dont feel lonely anymore. I wait for her next message, and shes always busy with school and work and homework and practice with her saxophone and concerts (shes in band) but she ALWAYS found time to tell me good morning, good night, and much more. Shes an important part of my life. I try very hard to convince myself that I don't like her, but I always think about her and smile right before I fall asleep.

I want to see her. The best way to do that is to go to California, of course. I figured that if I had feelings when seeing her in person, then I really was into her. I'm graduated, my college plan fell apart, and I wanted to get away from my dad. I also wanted to hang out with her because she always lost friends she made, and she was usually alone. I flipped a coin, it said to move to Cali. Unbelievably, I do so. I'm now in California!

I talk to her about meeting me, she says that she wants to, but shes always so busy and I'm broke. She doesnt seem to make much of an effort to try and see me anyways...

My birthday has already passed again, it's been a year, I'm 18, shes 19. But she makes a friend, one in her band class who doesnt have many friends either. Hes 17. They spend time together, and she talks about him often. They get along well and spend time together. THEN she asks me if it's weird to get feelings for someone younger than her (she already told me that she thought it was weird before, but I guess shes about to get feelings for someone younger). I dont know what to say, I'm flustered. The answer would be no, it's not weird, because I think that's true. But if I say that it's not weird, she'll obviously get feelings for him. I want to say it is weird, but then that would mean it was weird to date me. I cant tell her that it's okay because I find it very hard to ruin my own dismal chances. She wanted my HONEST opinion.

I didnt know who to talk to. She was my goto friend for everything. I could also say nothing, where she would ask someone else who would say it was okay. Or I could tell her the truth. My honest thoughts. Everything. I could tell her everything I've ever felt and why I wanted to see her and what dilemma she had just placed me in. I flipped a coin for that one... the coin said to tell her everything...

So I did. I told her my feelings for her. The whole story. But she didnt have the same feelings for me. She doesn't. This was a few days ago. I thought I would be fine, since I still considered myself undecided on her. I wasn't fine. My heart broke and the pieces are heavy, I feel empty and life feels pointless. She tried to make me go to sleep happy, but that was in vain.

She doesn't know it, but I cried. I cried myself to sleep since then. I thought i wasnt going to do it today, but she accidentally let slip about their first official date today.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I crying over this beautiful, ugly girl? What do I do now? She once told me that in my current situation, I should convince the girl that I'm better than the other guy but I'm not better. She should be happy with him. Hes closer and they probably have more in common. I dont know what to do anymore. I don't want to feel these things, I never did. Crying was never part of the plan. I was never supposed to feel anything for her. Shes the only person i talk to.

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chickenfetus · 6 years

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ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ????

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general?????????

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples:

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them???????

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual.

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me.

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual.

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good?????

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u.#FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

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nosamlight · 5 years

Text

chapter one

Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa’s heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.

“Yes, princess, you can go ahead,” he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.

The discs cracked under Rosa’s heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she’d done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.

She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case’s edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.

“Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick,” she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. “This is what you get for trying to rape me.”

Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.

As usual, they’d both guaranteed they’d exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.

They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They’d listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he’d witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.

They’d all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.

So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.

Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They’d hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.

“Hi,” Rosa said, grinning. “We’re from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn’t get one, so we come bearing a gift.”

They both lifted the console and cords. “It’s a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it.”

The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. “Holy shit. Thank you.”

After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. “You feeling better?”

“Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick.” Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. “What can we destroy now?”

“How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis,” Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. “Careful, though. We don’t need you slashing your hand open.”

Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.

"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.

He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"

Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"

Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."

Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.

Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.

masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me

Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.

“Seriously, what are you doing?”

“Joining a Nosam forum, obviously,” Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.

Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website’s title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason’s post. “Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I’m almost certain you’d actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?”

Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. “Because I would, Ozzie,” he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. “Because I would.”

Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.

He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn’t exactly the most popular website, so… Oh, their name was Elias… That was Austin’s middle name. Maybe he’d finally have another Austin stan.

And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.

familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)

Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.

masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?

Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.

familyjules: i’m too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i’m still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker

Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.

"What the hell?"

Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."

Austin sputtered, confused.

masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.

also: is ur profile pic u?

Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn’t had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.

familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me

Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.

masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure

Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.

familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)

Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn’t even defend his own good looks.

masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?

Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.

familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i’ve been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?

Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.

masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.

Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.

masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?

Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He’d made the website. It was his rule. And he’d broken it.

familyjules: whoops. yeah. i’ll tag u in a thread

familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?

masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.

familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i’ve got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off

Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.

masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1

familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i’m gonna look great

masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?

familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow

masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro

Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn’t say he was a girl.

familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here

masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.

a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.

Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.

Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"

Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."

Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."

Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.

masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.

familyjules: oh hell yeah that’s me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i’m not as good at those yet. are u into them too?

masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.

fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!

familyjules: whoa, dude, i’d never. if anything i’d strip for austin. if stella wouldn’t kill me

masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.

Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.

familyjules: can’t even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he’s the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you’re his hand then? shouldn’t you have his hand as your pfp?

Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn’t even notice.

masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!

familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)

Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn’t matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he’d stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn’t even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn’t ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn’t even a good font.

Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules’ mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.

It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.

familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it’s way too easy to roast mason

Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.

masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore

familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren’t actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick

masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all

gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart

familyjules: damn dude. at least you’re honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who’s right👀

masonfucker1000: average dick.

fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee

familyjules: be mason hill?

familyjules: kidding! i’ll send you some

masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself

They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.

♦️

It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.

familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you’ve only got two things on your profile and it’s been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you’d let mason have his way with you? i’m curious ;)

During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.

masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough

Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn’t want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.

familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don’t even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c’mon, dude

Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?

masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?

familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we’d take over the world, displace nosam

masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆

displace nosam? ur blocked

masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then

familyjules: hey, you’re the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck

masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on

Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?

masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3

masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me

Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.

familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated

"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.

Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."

Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."

Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.

Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.

He deleted the file he sent.

masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.

and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?

Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. “Oh, come on,” he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?

familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀

familyjules: oh also i’m a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night

masonfucker1000: i did not!

oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?

familyjules: you’d be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor

masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?

familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i’d like but it’s something

masonfucker1000: 🤑

masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?

familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling

familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely

masonfucker1000: uh huh

masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better

familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him

Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"

Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"

"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."

Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."

"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."

Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.

masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want

familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?

Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.

masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?

masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day

Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.

Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.

familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?

Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.

masonfucker1000: what! no no

Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.

masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry

masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel

familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?

Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.

masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)

familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)

familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading