#i would. like. to jack off. but i can't.

[deeisace]

...

#big apologies it's this nonsense again #oh man the cut off thingy is way later on desktop than on mobile #screaming wailing crying #not literally but like #nnnhgh why #:(((( #i would. like. to jack off. but i can't. #well i could but like. bad things #not weird xian bad things but depo birth control bad things #ive avoided for literally a whole month but ive been bleeding for two-thirds that anyway with no cause #im bored and ive got such a belly ache that would normally be fixed by this and i fucking want to i should be able!! #but i will probably just make the belly ache worse and make myself bleed for the rest of this sodding month im so fed up #ughhhh #oh general misfortune #im just so fucking bored of this situation #that's a mum word she says everything negative is boring #but it's true in this case it's just boring im not sad or stressed im just frustrated #well i have the gic endo appt on thursday #idk about talking about this nonsense on a first meeting but like. ill tell him im gonna stop the depo anyway i reckon #cs it is messing me up proper #and ill need to go the docs in the week (thurs/friday post gic) to cancel the injection appt and find out about blood tests being took

[n0brainjustvibes]

"Mannequin's trial demands that a candidate changes themselves, and that it be hard."

here [throws a S9!Toga lore snippet at you and runs]

#plea.mse ignore the hand positioning it's late icant figyre out anatomy #my girl #yeh she cuts her face off #i ahve. thematic Reasons. fort his #mainly like #her whole desperation to be more like the ppl she loves hints at a dissatisfaction with/disconnection from her own identity #and why wouldn't she be dissatisfied with it? #it got her shunned and branded a villain before she even did anything yk #anyways this just amplifies/literalises that #(since jack would definitely prey on it) #and represents how the trials entrap you in the 9 by leaving you with nothing to go back to. #no identity outside 'the nine's changer/trump' #no self that hasn't been stripped away by trauma #and now LITERALLY she cannot have a civ ID without drinking other people's blood (i.e. the thing she/the 9 use to motivate her killings) #she is marked forever. which kind of happens yknow. the s9 trials are designed to force you to do unforgivable stuff #so heroes would arrest or kill you on sight and you CAN'T leave the 9 even if you want to #also her infatuation with being 'cute' leads me to think that losing her 'cute' face WOULD be hard for her! similar to cherie #so uhhhm. #toga himiko #(i'm sorry ;-;) #wormblr #vibes art

[nazmazh]

Okay, so hear me out, here.

Ideas for the new/relocated Utah hockey team that was the Coyotes:

They're reborn from the ashes of a failed/dead, franchise? What else is famously reborn from its own ashes?

Hence: the Utah Phoenixes

Eh? Eh?

Okay, fine, that probably won't do.

*****

Okay, so how about looking to the state reptile for inspiration? The noble Gila Monster.

Probably shorten to just the Utah Monsters for better cadence

[This joke being that one of the Coyote's former arenas was "Gila River" arena. That one was probably a little less obvious than "Phoenixes"]

*****

Okay, so, I see the problem is that we keep stumbling into invoking the specters of the past [Specters/Spirits/Phantoms - Not the worst ideas I've heard, btw].

Let's maybe focus on the iconic desert landscapes, invoking the common heritage there.

The Utah Buttes / Utah Beauts

Look, I know that I'm doing a lot of joking around here, but I'm honestly legitimately proud of that play on words.

And "Beaut!"/"Beauty!" feels like such a classic hockey term, y'know?

Sadly, probably would be too much hesitation for big, manly NHLers to be officially a "Beaut".

That being said, if a professional Womens'-League team ever expands to SLC - There you go, that's a solid name for your team right there.

I kind of like the cadence of it all, still - How about Utah Brutes? Does that feel more workable?

How about Utah Beasts - Especially if ever partnered with aforementioned "Beauts" female team - ("Beauts" and "Beasts", eh? Eh?!)

*****

Okay, last one that actually just came to me in the shower, and I'm actually a little bit more serious about this:

Looking for iconic, usually animals, of the region the team is in, that aren't already taken by other team names.

"Home on the Range" could help here: Pronghorns/Antelopes are an iconic species of the prairies/desert - Lethbridge's university teams use that name, though. But that's less an obstacle to say Buffalo/Bison (which do have a presence there) - Because the Sabres use them in their iconography.

"Deer" might be a bit too generic [not to mention the Bucks have that brand, basically] - Elk is the State mammal, but Edmonton's CFL team already has that claim.

So… other iconic desert animals, not already used in team names/logos?

How about hares/jackrabbits?

Probably not the type of animal iconography you wish to necessarily evoke, though.

Positives include speed, supposed cleverness. "Madness" might be a thing to jokingly play up?

But they fundamentally are still a relatively small prey animal.

But (And I swear, I am going somewhere with this),

With the Seattle Kraken, we've leaned into cryptids being a valid name [ETA: . Heck one of the potential names the ownership group seems to be actively considering is "Yeti".

So, what if we combined the pronghorn and hare ideas, yeah?

But (And I swear, I am going somewhere with this),

With the Seattle Kraken, we've leaned into cryptids being a valid name. [See Also: The Jersey Devil - Which is what New Jersey's name is inspired by. Not, y'know, the ruler of hell, despite their branding all leaning into the "cartoon red devil"-style.]

Heck one of the potential names the ownership group seems to be actively considering is "Yeti".

So, what if we combined the pronghorn and hare ideas, yeah?

You see where I'm going with this, right?

The Utah Jackalopes

Or possibly Utah Jacks for better cadence and all their branding is jackalope-related.

I'm actually not-entirely joking on this one. I think you could actually lean into something really fun with this one.

#Arizona coyotes #Utah/SLC hockey team name TBD #NHL #team name ideas #joking around #but honestly I'd love if they said 'fuck it' and went with one of my silly suggestions here #seriously though - I'd be 1000% behind them using 'Jacks'/ 'Jackalopes' #I don't hate how 'Utah Outlaws' rolls off the tongue #'Utah Blizzard' feels too generic y'know? #(and yes I believe it will be 'Utah' and not 'Salt Lake City' because of a clause in some deal with the state for funding help for their bi #and subsequent relocation. Though SLC would be pretty unwieldy to say in a team name. #Leaning into the same theme as the Jazz (ie: a music style that's not really associated with Utah) you *could* do 'SLC Punks' :P #Everyone's been making that joke - I like it but definitely can't take credit for it)]

[sandrockbandit]

Hi there! I see you are a fellow Logan fan and that’s awesome! With his hair in a ponytail I wonder how long Logan’s hair is. Gotta be beautiful if you ask me! ❤️

hey! while i can’t say for sure, i can hazard a guess bc my hairstyle is really similar to logan’s! since it’s long enough for a small ponytail but short enough for those locks at the crown of his head to do their thing, i’d wager that loose, it comes abouuuut up to his jaw?

that, and with how tightly his hairtie has to be secured, i’d also say that he has to deal with some pretty annoying dents whenever he lets his hair down, lol.

#it is jawlength and it does some shallow waves the longer it gets! this is the hill i have chosen to die on at a whim on this evening #currently ive procrastinated chopping my hair off again so while i could get a pretty close mirror of logan's ponytail and bangs #it would be a little long. im rockin shoulderlength until i find two hair ties at the same time and a spare moment #look at me playing the authority when i have not even played the update. i am wallowing in sci fi wanderlust rn #but i've also been thinking about this ask since i got it so ty for the patience anon! have a logan #my time at sandrock #mtas #mtas logan #hangs sign on blog that says still here but also back in five! or whenever i stop cryin abt space travel and thematic narrative #like im ready 2 talk abt the guy (logan he's the guy) whenever but i can't tell u jack abt the new stuff yet #once the fixation swings back around im sure #for now im thinkin ftl n supernovas

[niobiumao3]

.

#in the grand scheme of covid variants #in choosing between 'nausea' and 'fucked up taste' #the former is probably better than the later #and yet as my personal experience with nearly #ALL nose-involved infections is I cannot taste #jack shit for weeks #I do not know how anyone with covid could taste enough #to know it was off #I can't taste anything at all when I'm this stuffed up #not even if I try! #how are y'all tasting dishwater?? #anyways this gi variant is mild #if annoying #and I would like it to be over

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Me: Time for bed

Brain: Okay but think of all the potential crossovers

#i speak #fandom life #currently rotating sanctuary/new macgyver crossover in my head #matty and helen are old friends #riley cannot hack the sanctuary and she's both annoyed and impressed #mac kate and riley are the chaos trio #also i feel like jack and kate would get along well? #also jack does not like the sanctuary stuff AT ALL nope no sir #team sanctuary is politely baffled by bozer's presence #until someone casually mentions that he invented a working ai in his free time and everyone's like '... ok' #mac is a tesla fanboy. this causes many headaches for everyone. #riley wants to be annoyed with the head of sanctuary security bcs she can't hack them but then she meets henry and she's like. #'ok buddy you can stay' #she does make a TON of dog and werewolf jokes but he's used to that bcs of will #oooo will and riley playing off each other #tbh i feel like the comedic potentil of this whole group is. great. #also there's definitely one joke that's like. a ship of thesus(?) level easter egg. #bcs helen's actress amanda played sam in sg1 #and her costar/sam's love interest was played by richard d a #who was the old macgyver #so helen and new mac interacting has nothing to do with that really #but there's still a reference #Ooooo or i could have ashley be alive #and have her tell mac 'i think my mom dated someone who looked like you once' #that's the level of joke i'm thinking of anyway #girl help i need to go to bed

[lighthouseborna]

also henry thought breaking the trident was like. maybe not exactly a pyrrhic victory (because he won more than he lost, still) but something adjacent to it.

#i just. hm. I love this movie! i never really was particularly convinced by #''break the trident and u break every curse'' it was always too. just a shade too neat u know? #and so .. i feel like always but im sure i worked around to it over time but for a long time now #i have thought of the shattering as Henry having the thought ''we can't win this - but Salazar can lose'' #there was no way to keep the trident and keep jack alive #jack's last desperate backup plan was that book over his breastbone and it was spent and there just #there was no way to quickly take the trident from salazar #it didn't exist. #he had to break it. #and that means he loses because. i mean jesus fucking christ he spent half his life looking for it #to get THAT goddamn close #and he thought he was giving up his chance to use it to break clypso's binding on the dutchman #but he made that choice anyway. that's my story and im sticking to it #he got Lucky (and maybe something something ghosts curses magic His Will Came Into Play) that part of shattering it #shattered the binding between the Dutchman and the doldrums between life and death #i mean cause he. he destroyed a godly artifact that feels. significant. and like there would be consequences. #and he also got...unlucky? ...half lucky that salazar was also uncursed/resurrected in the process because he was Trying to End Him #and instead just turned him to flesh and blood but hey u know the convenient thing about flesh and blood #is that it can be killed with a sword (and yknow. the crushing weight of the bottom of the ocean) #☩ genuinely about to haul off and start biting ( ooc. )

[angelsdean]

def think he was supposed to be like hardcore fucking those old ladies and that was the line and compromise 

#he was like. 'i did it anyway' in that one interview so i think jacking off w the old ladies was the compromise #and weird sex positions was what kripke was sending him for this scene and he was like. what no no im a Family Man i can't sdfjdk #if anyone's ever seen the misfits i'm still haunted by robert sheehan's character fucking an old lady #i would not have survived having to see jackles doing that #the boys spoilers

[flammedoudoune]

I remember seeing a post about people being weirded out by Woody’s design in Mirrorverse, and like, fair enough, but to me the big shock of this game was seeing the lovechild of Jack Skellington and the Onceler.

#i just know mirrorverse jack skellington would have been tumblr sexyman of the year if it had come out in like 2013 #not complaining though i actually dig most designs in this game and that includes jack's #kinda agree with people not being sure about woody though #i feel like i should find him hot but idk something feels off i can't explain it #mirrorverse

[piraticalwit]

lottie what the fuck. 

#save ; #nothing to see here i'm just saving something that made me emo wtf #i remember those days when i was like 'oh man. a killian jones and jack sparrow bff idea would be so great' #and then our muses just said 'absolutely not'. #but i dont even care because killian has grown so much thanks to jack and your other muses #it has transcended anything i could have imagined 8 years ago lmao #you are a beautiful writer and a beautiful friend. #both are rare to find and to have two in one person is truly astounding. #you're just one of those people i am so entirely grateful for both when it comes to tumblr and just life in general #and i can't wait to see how we turn lucas and villanelle competing in the bake off undercover #into the most angst filled thing ever like spice world lmaooo

[huccimermaidshirts]

.

#you know after my initial shock and excitement wore off after seeing dwd i kept thinking if i really liked the film or if it was because of #harry and since Thursday I haven't stopped thinking about the movie and the theme and like everything about it #so yeah initial reaction and after seeing dwd me was so right #it IS a super good food for thought movie!!!!! i really can't wait to watch it again #🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨SPOILERS AHEAD 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 #Olivia and katie are so smart because for a moment there and watching jack and alice being happy and in love #my mind DID go there that i would have stayed and how dreamy jack was and i DID feel longing for something like that #like you 100% buy into it and how perfect their life is and how in love good for each other they are #every time i think about this I'm like 👁️👄👁️ #dwd spoilers #just for good measure #don't worry darling

[dmclemblems]

there is a gw claude/ed3lstan in my inbox get it out

#no gw claude stan im not responding to your messages #I've made my points a million times on my blog answering your exact comments #and if you followed me you would know that so idk where ya came from but #if you don't follow me maybe don't send me asks trying to play the ''uwu Claude is just pretending he's just deceptive'' #''he's grateful to Edelgard uwu'' you can tell when people just send asks without paying attention #to jack shit on a person's blog when they send things you've literally discussed multiple times lol #also it's funny bc a nonnie not even that long ago sent an ask on my other blog abt EXACTLY these kinds of ppl #who try to insist Claude and Edelgard are uwu buddies and Claude is all Fuck Faerghus #also the anon was like lowkey rude acting like I just uwu didn't understand Claude being grateful to Edelgard #so yeah no I'm not arguing with someone who clearly hasn't read my posts here and can't be polite #get off my lawn or im sending my blue cat after you and trust me he bites. he's funny but he also bites

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'

#indiana jones #henry jones jr #harrison ford #molly mumbles #lol

[b-rainlet]

Crutchie and Spot are Bitch and Bastard Solidarity

#They also lowkey hate each other ajsjsjdn #I am sorry but Crutchie is a fucking smart-ass who loves to mouth off #Spot is one second away from starting a fistfight at all times and hates authority #He probably bites #Spot's pissed at you and you're walking away with a busted lip and some choice words #Crutchie's pissed at you and he spits in your food and shaves off your eyebrows #And breaks into your house to move all your furniture an inch to the left #(tbh I would be more afraid of Crutchie but that's just between us) #Crutchie officially meets Spot for the first time #The guy who's feared #And immediately insults him in some backhanded way #Because that kids looks like he doesn't even know how to SPELL puberty #Meanwhile Spot makes some remark about soaking Crutchie but he doesn’t hit kids who can't defend themselves #Spot: Don't make me forget my good manners #Crutchie immediately: Is that a challenge? #Spot is way shorter than Crutchie and still calls him Kid #Crutchie asks Spot if he wants to sit on his shoulder to see better #Jack is contemplating Santa Fe again #All of the newsies know not to get involved in their squabbling #Because somehow they BOTH get pissed if somebody picks a side #Racetrack told Crutchie to shut it and Spot ignored him for a week???? What is happening #Also they're both allowed to hackle each other but nobody else is #Except maybe David #One of the newsies makes a joke about how it would be better if they were dating instead of fighting all the time #And everybody gets real quiet thinking about them having relationship drama #Newsies: No Fear #Spot and Crutchie: Dating #Newsies: One Fear #Jack actively praying each night that Crutchie and Spot continue to hate-like each other ajsndndn #Anyway I could talk about them all day I love little ratboy Spot and absolute fucking Bitch Crutchie

[astonmartinii]

it must be a sign | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem deaf! red bull engineer!reader

when the two most unbothered people in the paddock combine their joint powers to be the it couple

request sent by the lovely @bibissparkles xx

author's note: heyyy so many of you won't know but i am actually deaf - i am 50% deaf in both ears and wear hearing aids so i love requests like this! (all i do most of this stuff as a deaf person, turning off your hearing aids >)

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 302,446 others

yourusername: you can't complain about the dutch national anthem when you can just turn your hearing aids off

view all comments

user1: the way max's engineer is as sick of that damn song as us

user2: turning off her hearing aids makes how bored she looks during podiums make sense

yourusername: it was a banger during the mercedes dominance but would it kill someone to play the australian anthem

danielricciardo: i knew you missed me

yourusername: sure, jan.

user3: her and max signing slay to each other will always be so personal to me

maxverstappen1: gonna pretend you didn't just say that

yourusername: boo hoo babe, you gotta lose something sometimes

user4: babe? are the flowers from max?

maxverstappen1: would rather choke on my own spit and fall into a pit of snakes, hope this helps ❤️

yourusername: rude! i wouldn't want flowers from you either :(

user5: i swear we get into this argument every weekend, i think people will still assume they're together until their married to other people

liamlawson30: stop using me as a messenger pigeon please and thank you

yourusername: but i thought red bull gave you wings?

liamlawson30: do not use a pr answer against me 🤨

yourusername: no comment

liamlawson30: choke.

yourusername: idk what's going on in the red bull junior academy but spit in helmut's coffee not mine

user6: y/n consistently giving all the red bull guys shit is my favourite thing ever

user7: the amount of times the sky broadcast has caught her waving them off or taking her hearing aids out lol

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 782,309 others

oscarpiastri: switched four tyres for two this weekend

view all comments

user11: you can't distract us with your slutty bike pics WHO THE FUCK IS THAT

landonorris: A WOMAN? A WOMAN? IS THAT A WOMAN OSCAR JACK PIASTRI?

oscarpiastri: yeah i'm pretty sure

landonorris: don't play smart with me buster - why was i not informed?

oscarpiastri: i don't ask to be informed of every time you get rejected in the instagram dms

landonorris: FAKE NEWS

oscarpiastri: okay buddy

user12: i be seeing the sign language book, oscar you are so real for that

user13: that's my king, i need a oscar and y/n link up in the paddock - my unbothered queens

user14: she's in the likes !!!!!!

logansargent: oh we've entered the soft launch phase i see

oscarpiastri: and what?

logansargent: someone is feeling defensive this morning, dude i won't tell i've already kept it a secret for so long

landonorris: HE KNOWS? DOES BEING YOUR TEAMMATE MEAN NOTHING?

oscarpiastri: he's my childhood best friend?

logansargent: there's levels to this game norris

landonorris: @oscarpiastri consider yourself UNDER SURVEILLANCE

oscarpiastri: okay girly

user15: oscar has the patience of a saint, the mystery gal may want to rethink it before having to deal with them all

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 381,044 others

yourusername: unrelaxed, unbothered, moisturised ✨

view all comments

user18: queen SHIT THAT AIN'T SHIT

user19: but this mystery man IS

maxverstappen1: yeah sorry about that... but at least boyfy has made his instagram debut?

yourusername: about time, he's too sexy to gatekeep

maxverstappen1: well i'm not going to agree out of respect for you

yourusername: so you don't think he's sexy? i might not be able to hear but HE CAN MAX BE NICE

maxverstappen1: first of all it's a text, second of all i've been way too nice to him

yourusername: he beat you in padel fair and square you're just SHIT AT IT ❤️

maxverstappen1: you know that's a sore subject WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT UP

user20: my queen was really like you wanna tell me to fuck off? oh here's my sexy boyfriend

user21: jos verstappen really didn't know who he was tangling with that gal may be chill but she doesn't take shit

user22: she's like a female version of oscar lol

user23: i knew there was a reason i liked her

this comment was liked by yourusername

danielricciardo: why am i left out of everything these days?

yourusername: snooze you lose

danielricciardo: I AM AWAKE REPLY TO MY TEXTS

danielricciardo: I JUST SAW YOU PUT YOUR PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB

yourusername: protecting my peace

danielricciardo: i'm on to you buster

oscarpiastri

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,209,455 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: overjoyed to get my first (proper) win in formula one and even more overjoyed to have my amazing girlfriend (and even better engineer) up on the podium with me

view all comments

user27: so this was the special occasion?

user28: so this is why she said she wanted the australian national anthem over the dutch one?

user29: this is now my roman empire

yourusername: babe is so fucking good and i'm so fucking proud

oscarpiastri: i'm so glad to have been able to share this moment with you

yourusername: you deserve this and more, i love you

oscarpiastri: i love you too xx

user30: wait so oscar knows so much more sign language than i thought

user31: he looked so excited and even mark knows some

logansargent: he forced (we were happy to do so) me, mark and his family to learn as soon as he secured the date lol

oscarpiastri: and now we're all so cool because of it

logansargent: cool and able to chat shit without people knowing what we're saying

yourusername: best bit about it tbf (everyone please learn, it's a beautiful language)

landonorris: I KNEW IT

oscarpiastri: no you didn't

landonorris: no i didn't :( i'm hurt

oscarpiastri: if it's any consolation, we didn't tell many people, max and logan are exceptions

landonorris: WHY WAS I NOT AN EXCEPTION???

yourusername: boo hoo

landonorris: i'm not gonna say anything back to that you kinda scare me

yourusername: good ❤️

yourusername

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, oscarpiastri and 529,778 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri

yourusername: me and a racewinner (and our world champion third wheel)

view all comments

user32: fave trio in the paddock no competition

logansargent: logan erasure

yourusername: we love you logan, sunday roast at mine this weekend ❤️

logansargent: SCORE

user33: every time you post there's a new plushie

yourusername: we usually get one to commemorate a big weekend and we both got one for osc's first win

user34: that's so FUCKING CUTE

oscarpiastri: it's all fun and games until you don't fit in the bed because y/n feels too bad to put any of them on the floor

yourusername: they have FEELINGS OSCAR

oscarpiastri: she cried one time when max set off the smoke alarm cooking breakfast and the bed alarm shook so bad that all of them were thrown to the floor

yourusername: it was HARROWING but it also did wake me up so at least we know it works

maxverstappen1: actually my favourite couple to third wheel, but enjoy it while it's here osc, i won't lose again

yourusername: yeah sorry osc it's actually my job to help max win so you're gonna have to wait for him to retire if i have anything to do with it

oscarpiastri: not even for me :(

yourusername: sorry not sorry (i'm really sorry, i love you so much)

oscarpiastri: i love you too even if you won't sabotage max for my race :(

maxverstappen1: okay i know i said you guys are cute but that's enough for today

yourusername: we ARE cute thank you

oscarpiastri: the CUTEST

fin.

note: heheheheh i hope you enjoyed this, i love requests like this xx also on the comment about the bed alarm i had one in uni halls and when the alarm went off that baby SHOOK it was kinda scary

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #oscar piastri instagram au #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader

[dimonds456]

Shoutout to the conventionally attractive people who are so fucking tired. To the attractive people who wish they weren't. To the attractive people who wish they were ugly to get people to stop being creepy around them.

To those who can never be confident in their own skin for more than a few minutes at a time because they know someone's looking.

Shoutout to the people who don't have anxiety, but still would rather live in a completely different body because it meant people would stop staring.

Shoutout to the attractive people who don't want to be.

#okay to reblog #i vent in the tags and it gets bad so content warning for that #dimond speaks #terfs dni #in summation: i talk about stalking; creeps; i mention j*cking off; and just general self-hatred regarding my body #this post is about all genders too not just cis women #i can't be the only one right #like i know i'm conventionally attractive. i fucking hate it. #you're right i do have body issues but it's not because i'm fat it's because i'm fucking pretty #every single tv movie ever has told me that being pretty will solve all my problems. but that's not true at all #it's only ever cause issues for me like getting stalked in more and more progressively creepy ways #to my coworkers assuming that i'm highly sexually active and that i MUST have a partner because why would i not? #it must be soooo easy for me to get a date you're lying there's no way you're a v*rgin #maybe it's the aroace talking here but PLEASE. PLEASE STOP. GO AWAY. #I don't WANT this. I've NEVER wanted this. #do you think i signed up for every single fucking boy in high school to know my name so they could flirt with me? #or to be told by a boy younger than me that he recorded my singing voice so he could- this is real- JACK OFF to it? #or to be stalked by not one not two but THREE creepy old men far past my age? #or to be followed EVERYWHERE i go when i'm outside? #like they typically stop when they notice that i know they're there but STILL. #DOES IT LOOK LIKE I ENJOY THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST? #i'm surprised nothing bad has happened to me yet but it's only a matter of fucking time #and in case you're wondering: no. I do NOT draw myself how i look in real life. #i draw the version of me that I want to be #the version of me that's the weight i wanna be. the flat chest. the flat butt. #no glasses but that's because i usually forget them not because i don't like them fgadhjsk #i wanna look *friendly.* not *hot.* #i'm tired of random customers (usually much much older than me) flirting with me or being generally weird and creepy around me #for the love of whatever god is out there STOP