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questionablepastries · 2 years

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cant believe i gotta remake this

I SPENT LIKE TWO HOURS EXPLANINGIN EVERYTHING AND IT ALL GOT DELTED BY MISTAKE AAAAAAAA BUT guess what im gonna do it again even tho the first one took me like two hours but this means i get to go HARDER @arsenicshots do YOU HEAR ME YOU BETTER READ ALL OF IT IM SPENDING TIME ON THIS!!!!! YOU OWE ME (i can hear you say “but i didnt ask for this much explanation!!” well too bad!!!) and i swear if something crashes, ruining this upload for a second time there will not be a third time. I will be personally calling your cell. YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST ASK YOUR (ASCP) CERTIFIED ™ SCIENTIST FRIEND TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS??? HUH???? HMM?????

well its going under a readmore

sigh i cant believe im writing this all again... sobbu. anyways, this is for the curious with too much time on their hands, or if your name is alberto and you asked for some damn lab equipment explanation for some damn reason thinking this type of equipment can be concisely explained in a few words without context. that kind of explanation is not gonna happen, i dont think its possible. if you wanted a concise explanation ur welcome to look at the meme and do a 180 and walk away because welcome to class. This is gonna be lengthy, have pictures, and many links whenever and to wherever i feel like. and will not be deleted by mistake this time. (hopefully)

For context, i work in a bio hazard safety level 2 microbiology pathology lab at a fairly large (approaching 1000 bed) hospital so everything i explain will be with that frame of reference, ill even toss in some personal anecdotes for when ive had to use this stuff myself whether in the lab or as a student, ok? Onwards--

1. Hand saunas

putting aside the fact that this is the second time im writing a fucking paragraph about gloves. They’re gloves. They can be made out of various things, in case someone is allergic to whatever its made out of that i cant be half assed to look up. If someone really doesnt like gloves or if theyre allergic to latex u can wear these cotton ones that you can then put normal gloves over.

2 of my coworkers use them. idk i asked one of them once if it was for allergies or if it was for easier removal of normal latex gloves and they quickly told me “neither” and walked away so there’s that. he’s not very nice. i dont like that coworker a lot.

If you work in a lab gloves are a staple, you always want these babies on, people touch keyboards mouses and phones with gloves on lol. And when you wear gloves and get up to do things your hands are of course gonna get sweaty, but because youre manhandling (exaggerating, kinda.) infectious fluids all day youre gonna want to change them fairly frequently (universal precautions? hello?) I wear like 10 pairs of gloves at once when i have to run covid tests that are gonna be ran on the Genexpert or biofire whatever machine that poops out a turnaround time depending on the severity of the infection but thats getting off topic and we’re talking about gloves and lemme tell u when you have sweaty hands and try to put on a new pair of gloves its like putting on a wet pair of pants and it Sucks.

2. Piper bois

These are pipettes. They come in many different sizes and are meant to dispense extremely accurate volumes of fluid. amounts vary from mililiters to microlitres (microliters use the greek symbol mu as their measurement so we would write “uL”)

They can look scary sometimes

wow only $1699 how affordable. most modern pipettes come in the $1k price range. not that anyone cares but the description mentions that these pipettes are meant for PCR tests which are the same kind of tests we run on covid samples. i know a chick in the back of the lab that uses a pipette that looks pretty close to pic related. she uses it for covid research related reasons.

here’s a too in depth overall diagram about the pipettes themselves, that are closer to the kind that i use. the most important parts of that diagram are the Volumeter display that tells u how much fluid that thing will shit out, the push button that u push down to dispense the fluid, aaaaaand the tip ejector button. which can launch off the pipette tip quite a distance lol (will talk more about that in #3)

Using these damn things takes finesse because when you push the button to dispense fluid there will be some resistance u feel that tells u to stop pushing, because if you keep pushing youre gonna get something scientists try to avoid called a “blow out”.

this farmer (is he really) on quora explains the concept im not willing to type out about pipettes and why u should stop pushing when u feel resistance. im telling you theres technique!! finesse!!!

top right is what im talking about, “first stop” being the resistance u feel A B and C seem to describe how u first Push down to A, release for B and then push down Again to dispense fluid in C. so its like a diagram for the motion u go through. D is for pushing shit all the way, and E is for pulling up from the second stop all the way up. Ive seen ppl go down to D and to E for the maximum amount of fluid withdrawn to prevent bubbles during the subsequent release of fluid (might start doing that honestly because bubbles in fluids dispensed cause so much problems for the machinery theyre EVIL)

this explains the concept of avoiding blow out again. the entire purpose is to dispense a very accurate volume of stuff so one drop off is actually a lot. remember how i said microliters are a measurement? one microlitre is like the size of a mothafuckin uhhhhh half a drop of liquid lol. times i work with microliters is when they wanna test ur piss for bacteria but you cant piss well it turns out we can use such a small amount of piss for plating purposes. when i say plating thats lab speak for “putting it on a petri dish”

i was gonna move on to the next topic but i wanna show you guys the older types of pipettes because these so far are all MODERN Expensive pipettes so smaller labs might be using the manual ones. (and while yes these modern pipettes are manual to a degree, there exist automatic pipettes that do da suckin and the dispensing for you but fuck that)

behold

ugly. theres a ton of different types of pipettes. i dont care to explain

u know they used to suck up fluids with their mouths at one end in the past like it was a damn straw? bleh, some of the lab folks ive spoken to have recalled tasting piss by accident in the past or worse yet blood or spinal fluid lol.

but then they invented bulbs so people could stop sucking with their mouths and i dont know why they didnt do that in the first place

these things are pretty long and these are for measuring like. mililiters.

there also exists disposable plastic pipettes that i use fairly often and i think everyone everywhere uses these.

wow they come in different volumes isnt that so neat, i probably got a virus on my computer from making that gif on a shady website but i think it was worth it. i use these pipettes when i have to do a rapid c.diff test to transfer diarrhea (25 ul to be specific) to a tiny cartridge. very smelly. anyways im tired of talking about pipettes

3. Piper boi hats

These are pipette tips.

Like pipettes themselves they come in many sizes and the appropriate pipette tip has to match the size of the pipette in terms of amount that you want dispensed.

this is a great picture, do u remember how i mentioned pipette tip dispensers on pipettes themselves earlier? well the pipette has a button thats like EJECT THIS MF RIGHT NOW and these sons of bitches LAUNCH off like GOODBYE speeds unknown to man into the biohazard bin. not much to say about these things. who would’ve guessed. um. they come in fancy little boxes. the ones at work have tape on them with the words “ do not throw box away” on it idk why because they’re wasting boxes regardless? i guess i can ask my supervisor why and i bet its for a reason ill find so boring ill forget the minute after.

4. Vibe check

wow its even on sale. this is called a Vortexer.

I use this to resuspend anything that settled to the bottom of fluids, containers, or if i want to get an even distribution of bacteria within a fluid before i withdraw fluid from it using a pipette. It actually vibrates things pretty Violently its pretty funny, i mean it vibrates so hard you can feel it on your entire hand. Level of violence can be adjusted using the silly knob u see on the picture, the ones we use are usually on 7 to 9. i have to resist the urge to place my face down on the plate every day, but even if i wanted to id have to wipe down the black pad we set things on because ew. and i really do mean that these things get violent becuase the one at work sometimes has the black pad launch off lmao

we put sterile cups on this thing, uh lab test tubes. lord help you if you place a test tube without a stopper on it on this thing because the liquid Will fly out (has happened to me before many a time) i mean they even had a splash shield lmao, bacteria EVERYWHERE, here’s a video with the time down to the second of the action happening so u can see this boy VIBRATE, and as u can imagine if that container didnt have a cap fluid would fly everywhere

5. Extreme ™ Merry Go Round

I am not explaining the concept of centrifugation ough ugh i guess i am UGH ok ok ill dumb it down FUCK

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centrifuge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laboratory_centrifuge

for the detail hungry there’s your required reading.

u ever get on one of these damn things and feel the g force of all ur fluids going in one direction? well same theory, but for bacteria they get that sensation at like 6000 revolutions per minute (rpm) and experience hell before they die

extreme merry go round otherwise known as a Centrifuge. is a device for when u want all the particles floating around a in a fluid concentrated to a singular point, leaving behind all the solutes at the bottom of its container and leaving whats called a Supernatant that is (mostly) free of all solutes/precipitate at the top. The solutes/precipitate gets so stuck to the bottom it forms what we call a bullet/pellet.

The gif shows what you should expect ur thing to look like after u take it out of a centrifuge and it got spun correctly. At work when i have to deal with spinal fluid, we want any potential pathogen concentrated to one area for the purposes of examination on a gram stain. I would concentrate a large amount of spinal fluid in a centrifuge, remove excess supernatant using a disposable plastic pipette, leaving behind enough fluid just above the pellet. and then i would vortex it to re-suspend the pellet with stuff of interest now floating around the remaining liquid. does that all make sense? i hope it does i just told u what a pipette was and a vortex was like a minute ago

centrifuges come in various sizes, and designs the meme pic has one thats pretty small. and meant for like 10 test tubes. the ones i use at work have this thing called a swinging bucket. The bucket will swing backwards while the centrifuge spins. to the point that theyre horizontal.

this nice lady from google is holding whats called a bucket which is meant to hold like idk a lot of test tubes and they all go into that. wait a fucking minute that looks like the exact fucking centrifuge at work i recognize those fucking buttons that son of a bitch, i have to stand on my tippy toes and apply my entire body weight to the lid when i shut it for the damn thing to register that its closed before i start it >:/

the thing thats orange in that pic is the lid u spin to close over the thing that holds the test tubes because sometimes these test tubes can spill and my god, spilled blood thats been spun at 5000 rpm looks like when u pop open an unsecured centrifuge uhh

anyways heres a good example. this holds test tubes and the larger volumes would be the purple top containers whose names slips my mind rn

centrifuges are used on blood (chemistry wants to analyze analytes in the serum), spinal fluid, piss (for protein electrophoresis purposes) and a bunch of other stuff im getting too tired to explain and theres no way im gonna explain what electrophoresis is --- (looks at #6) ah goddammit

#6. Evil Jello

sigh

agarose gel.

its agarose gel. or uh

ok, the evil jello in the pic is like the size of ur hand. However as everything in this damn information post, they can vary in size.

this one is like the size of a cat.

The whole purpose of agarose gel is (how the fuck am i gonna dumb this down) is uh..............

agarose gel is for a thing called electrophoresis.

“ Electrophoresis is a laboratory technique used to separate DNA, RNA or protein molecules based on their size and electrical charge. An electric current is used to move the molecules through a gel or other matrix “

in electrophoresis we use pipettes to transfer stuff into little jello sockets (called wells) the stuff injected into the wells are expected to travel a certain distance across the jello once a charge of electricity is applied to the jello. The stuff will travel across the jello depending on the amount of charge and its molecular size. as expected larger molecules will move slower and wont travel as far. smaller molecules will travel faster. Things move from negative (one end of the jello) to a positive charge (the charge applied to the opposite end). The movement is detected by a dye that is applied to before u even transferred the stuff to the wells. if you have a problem with a protein it’ll show up, if you dont it wont. i dont know i am so tired writing stuff lol. Go youtube this stuff. the Point is evil jello is not evil, except in that i am not allowed to bite into it like i so desperately want to

@arsenicshots you better read all this i swear to god

#lab #laboratory #scientist #medical lab technician #medical laboratory #im tagging this stuff for educational purposes because it rly is related to all those topics #lab technologist #personal #alberto imma k word you for this #this took two hours to make #four hours total if we count the first attempt

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bbboar · 1 year

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@boogerwookiesugarcookie asked me to answer ALL of the end of year asks so here we go! Thanks Naja!

Going to put it under a readmore bcs long

1.Song of the year? Dream Girl Evil by Florence and the Machine So nice of Miss Florence to make a song thats not only a bop but also specifically the theme song for my oc Hydrangea

2.Album of the year? I don't listen to many full albums but for me it would have to be a tie between Give me the Future by Bastille and Impera by Ghost 3.Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Ghost 4.Movie of the year? Everything Everywhere All At Once! Like i don't even need to think about it. Unlike anything ive ever seen, so interesting and heartwearming. Excellent performances and costuming 5.TV show of the year? Oh man this one is touh bcs i had 3 shows ive been obsessed with this year…. Our Flag Means Death, Severance or Interview with the Vampire 6.Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Not defined the year but the best ep of anything ive seen this year was the the season finale ep of Severance. It was so excellent at keeping up the tension for the entirety of the ep. I was pacing and yelling and restless for the full length of it. Just amazing storytelling of everything coming to a head and the editing...my god!!!

7.Favorite actor of the year? I don't care that much about actors to have a fave of the year 8.Game of the year? I was a teenage exocolonist. Just finished my 4rth playthrough and i think i may have 2 more in me bc i want to see different outcomes/choices 9.Best month for you this year? Idk they sorta all blend into one? But December is when i have 2 weeks off work and also the weather is beautiful and sunny so im going to say that and not think about it too much.

10.Something that made you cry this year? A friend was never available to see me despite my multiple attempts to meet up and even though i didnt mind for a lot of it, eventually it started hurting my feelings. 11.Something you want to do again next year? Go on a mini vacation. I took a week off work to visit friends in Tasmania and i think i would be nice to visit some other place next year as well. 12.Talk about a new friend you made this year? I think we'd chatted a little on twitter and also possibly met irl once? But anyway yeah i formally met and befiended the partner of a friend and we rly got along! 13.How was your birthday this year? I went to this super expensive viking themed restaurant ive wanted to go to since 2019! Food, drinks, service, all excellent. I was dressed to the nines in my sequin dress and after i went for a little night walk around the city. It was gr8! 14.Favorite book you read this year? A nobleman's guide to scandals and shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee. The Montague siblings series is such easy reading for me so i had a fun time! 15.What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Forgetting to take my acne medication but i also took steps to prevent that so were good now 16.Post a picture from the beginning of the year Actually the first pic i took in 2022

17.Post a picture from the end of the year

Food from yesterday (27/12/22)

18.A memorable meal this year? Oh i already mentioned my birthday dinner so instead ill mention the brunch i made for my friends when i visited them in Tasmania.I was going to make eggs, bacon, homemade flatbread and some other stuff but my time management was off and it took me sooo long to make everything.In the end it was more like a lunch than brunch^^; But everyone was so patient with me and in the end the food was yummy and everyone liked it and we played dnd and had a great time :) 19.What’re you excited about for next year? Going to be getting a new phone and also....idk i havent made any big plans but i look forward to the little moments of joy and indulgence that will come. 20.What’s something you learned this year? Im sure theres life stuff i learned but what im psyched about is learning how to make scones. Its so freakin easy!!! 21.What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? After living here for about a year,i decided to finally put shit up on the walls of my room.Paintings and fairy lights and i plan on having a little colection of magpie prints too.It rly lifted my mood and brightened up the space. 22.Favorite place you visited this year? Oh man i was just stoked to visit Tasmania and see friends! I need to travel more bcs i love seeing new places. 23.If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? Do not catastrophise when someone upsets you. Just sleep on it and then act. People sometimes are stupid and thoughtless,not secretly malicious. 24.Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I usually have a few and some years i end up completing them, other years i dont. This year my only resolution is to comment on people's art more. Thats fucken it. 25.Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one. Many actually bcs aside from various ocs, i run some trp games where i make 10+ npcs for. I guess one would be Winnie an npc i made for a game who i put so little thought in. Like i needed a character to fullfill a certain role so i recycled an old oc design and gave her like 2 personalty traits. Then though as we played, we all ended up liking her way more than id planned so anyway now she's in the queue to be an upcoming pc for a dnd campaign (with a slight redesign)

#boblabla

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babygirldennis · 3 years

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This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

#iasip #s15 spoilers #oy vey.....#they could also be written by a reddit fan who is too much of a pussy to just write fanfic but that seems kinda unlikely?#cause 1. itll be disproven so everyone will know u just... wrote weird fanfic #and 2. there are a lot of little details that are so random that even if this is a fan just messing with people.... why put in so much effo #wahtever im pressing post #actually tho what gge fuck is that priest line supposed to imply #i guess for mac it could be talking about his view that god smites enemies and u must fear him blah blah #i jus don't know what it was supposed to imply about gus!!!#bc they describe gus like he is fat mac with healthy views on the bible which :]#then that last line just gives me whiplash what does that mean!!

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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Lol no worries. It is a little chilling when you put it that way since it really does talk about how we (humans) roll in general.

Unpopular opinion (trigger: covid)

Covid has been great. People start to slow down and think what's important (in my circle of influence at the very least). Although not a while can of worms being opened, it is something.

Also, i don't need to share food with people (sharing food only because they view it as a sort of way to care? I don't get it but oh well). I can blame it on the pandemic instead of my own personal issues lol. Same for hugs.

How do you do the under cut thing? (on phone)

~ Yarrow

LMAO. idk but as someone who's taking smth related to social studies, i'm having a field day in inazuma. im subconsciously microanalyzing every detail in the story just for the heck of it.

hmm... well, that's an interesting take. i wouldn't say that it's great but i would admit that covid has been a surprise change of pace that i might have needed. ofc, i'm aware that not everyone in this world would have the privilege of saying smth like that and that the pandemic has displaced a lot of families. i, in no way, would want to appear like i'm romanticizing their struggles bc i've been there before albeit not in the same situation and it's not fun or good at all. and ig the sharing of food is a culture thing? at least for me. i grew up in a very communal household and we share a lot of things so i personally don't see any problem w it. i understand why it's icky to some tho ambfhjabfka—

anyway, you type :readmore: and then press enter!

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : yarrow •°ˎˊ˗

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fuck-customers · 5 years

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(this is mad long so u may wanna put it under a readmore) this is sort of a half-fuck and half-thank customer (but mostly just to give myself asspats)

i work in a grooming salon for a big shitty corporate pet store (where you probably buy your pet food or bring them to the in-house vet), and folks lemme tell you i've worked a lot of service jobs and this one attracts the worst customers, like 3/5 are going to be on our ass about something, making nonsensical requests (i want you to remove the gigantic skin-tight mats from my extremely unkempt and unruly st. bernard but DO NOT SHAVE HIM, i want the mats brushed out!! and i'm going to throw a tantrum over the extra dematting charges and because you suggested that i need to brush my dog every day, of COURSE i've been doing that!), accusing us of hurting their dogs (i submitted another story about the mom recording us to try to like call us out ig; we treat these dogs like our own babies, even when they're being AWFUL - we can get fired for things like stepping away from our table when there's a dog on it or putting kennel dryers on senior dogs or breeds prone to respiratory problems.)

there's this guy who was apparently banned from the salon before i started there. dude is WILD. the last time he was there, i forget exactly what they said the initial issue was that made him upset (probably nothing, he's got a very short fuse) but he just went apeshit on the salon leader, eyes bulging, then started screaming about how the other groomers were laughing at him when they started to exchange glances. but anyway somehow he ends up getting booked with me. my coworkers know i'm very passive and anxiety-prone so the GM said he would deal with the guy when he came in. so i wash the dog and whatever, then i asked the GM to call to let him know i was done. GM got sidetracked and forgot. the guy then called a bit later to check up on the dog and complain that i was taking too long, but we were all very busy and no one could get to the phone, so some poor cashier ended up picking up the call and dealing with this guy going off the rails about how he got put on hold for so long etc etc then hangs up on the cashier. so i call back and, in my sweetest customer service voice (bc im terrified so i dont wanna get on his bad side) apologize profusely for the trouble and, at the GM's request, offer to comp the service (which i feel like is just rewarding bad behavior but he's an asskisser and doesnt want to get a bad review). the guy seems taken aback for a sec and then hes like "oh. no, its okay, i got it out of my system, i'm alright now." (HE KNOWS HE SUCKS)

so he gets there to pick up his dog and is kind of quiet, like he's really straining to stay calm. so i, having been blessed with a disarming and bubbly personality (not to stroke my own dick but it's true) and not wanting to get in trouble, offer again to comp the service the guy seems genuinely sheepish, apologizes, and says he'll pay the full price. i, a pushover and dumbass, offer to at least give him a discount on the service. he accepts this and then TIPS ME THE FULL AMOUNT OF THE SERVICE? (FORTY WHOLE DOLLARS BABYYY) and then fucking calls later and gives me a customer compliment to the manager. idk if it's the disney princess voice, the groveling, or the big titties but something i'm doing is right.

#tw #submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #fuck retail #embarrassing #happy ending #submission

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transenbyhollis · 6 years

Text

idk if my relationship with the ex roommate was abusive or not but im just gonna put down a bunch of stuff here. this is probably gonna be long so putting it under a readmore

ok so im beginning to realize that this all probably sounds pretty bad for him but KEEP IN MIND that his anger is a response to abuse and breakdowns are sometimes used to manipulate people. also every story has two sides and i dont know what he would say about all this. also for the first couple years or so he was really nice most of the time. super supportive. feel free to skim through this if you wanna know whats gonna on but dont want to read the entire lengthy tale.

so it started nearly five years ago. i met him my first year of college, we were in the same hall. i thought he was really cool. we didnt talk much that first year but we were friends i guess.

second year a lot of shit happened during the first term. the important thing is that it cemented our friendship. after that term we were rock solid. we spent all of our time together.

during the next term he briefly dated a girl we were friends with. idk if it was even dating really. the whole thing was a trainwreck. at one point i felt like i was losing him and i had a breakdown. it was then that he said he never wanted to make anyone more important than me. things went bad between them and then i noticed something was wrong. i wont go into everything that happened, but suffice to say he kept getting angry for reasons i still dont understand, she was frustrated and very stressed, and i was terrified and miserable.

after this, we were still pretty close. it was around this time that he told me we were in a queerplatonic relationship. now i was genuinely considering spending the rest of my life with this guy.

sometime around the same time the first red flag went up. he told me that he had gone through my phone, found my tumblr among other things, and read several months worth of my personal thoughts. i was kind of in shock when i heard this, so i didnt say much about it. this was also when he told me he had been sexually abused.

not too long after this is when a relationship began to grow between him and another friend of ours. i started to feel a distance growing between us, and this is when he really started to show his angry side. sometimes he would get angry and i would break down crying. this became a regular occurance.

there were some instances of him insistently trying to get me to come out to people. this was mostly in reference to a trans group that was beginning to form at this time. i did eventually give in, although at least once i had a breakdown and left crying because he got upset about it. also i sometimes i didnt feel good about leaving because once he made a comment about how i always run away when im upset so i basically begged for permission to leave.

there was also something that happened a couple times where he and his partner decided that i wasnt allowed to be alone and i physically attacked them and screamed at them before they would let me be alone in the bathroom for a few minutes. the second time this happened i was so angry i smashed a bunch of my belongings and then afterwards i apologized frantically and said some bs about being upset for religion related reasons.

after this, we had a conversation where i said i needed to be alone sometimes, and if they literally said i was not allowed to be alone i wouldnt ask, i would kick and scream until they agreed to let me be alone. he got upset because i made an analogy about a cliff and kept getting mad about that. i insisted that if they refused to let me be alone i would make them hate me.

there was a argument i had with him that ended with him essentially saying our friendship was over. i did not realize he was being sarcastic here. i went to the bathroom to cry. i asked his partner to come and told them that i was feeling very suicidal. they calmed me down a little and went to go arrange for all three of us to have a talk. i took several melatonin and tried to take a nap in the meantime, although that didnt work. later we met at the library. we had an argument about them being controlling and some other things. i remember he started to throw a chair. i broke down and went to the bathroom where i cried a lot. i texted him and apologized for wrecking our friendship. he said that he was the broken one and i said i thought we both were.

it was around this time i started medication. i told the doctor i was having problems with mood swings and so they put me on abilify.

at the end of this school year i moved in with them. towards the beginning there were some arguments about them being controlling and needing to know where i was all the time. we made a compromise where i would have some kind of board or something that i would uodate to say if i was feeling good, not so good, or bad. that never ended up being implemented tho. at some point the roommate who didnt totally suck told me they didnt want me to tell them when i felt like self harming and if i did they would call the police.

the angry outbursts and my terrified breakdowns continued. it escalated to the point where sometimes he was straight up screaming his head off at me for no discernible reason. sometimes i would break down if he so much as snapped at someone.

there was an incodent where i started crying when he was angry, and he told me essentially he didnt see why i would break down so easily and he was jealous of me for having such a good childhood. i told him that i was still suicidal and he started yelling at the other roommate to call the police. i kept asking why he was doing this and what he was trying to accomplish and he didnt respond. the police came, we talked a little, i said i would take a walk and calm down, and they left. i went to my room and had a panic attack. my roommates wanted to call the police again and i begged them not to. at some point one of them said something about me having a sheltered childhood.

a few weeks later we were grocery shopping and he got mad at me for not helping put the groceries in the car. at this point i decided to stop being friends with them because i couldnt handle it. later when we were at home someone asked me if anything was wrong or something like that and i said i decided earlier that i couldnt be friends with them. they told me to calm down and we talked about it. they asked me if there was anything else i wanted to tell them and i said there was something they had said that had made me uncomfortable some time ago. the rest of this was all dragged out of me, slowly and painstakingly. i told them that i didnt like when they said a sheltered childhood. they confirmed that sheltered basically said i hadnt had any problems. they asked me what problems id had and i said i felt that my relationship with my sister and with religion was somewhat abusive. they then dissected all the problems id had in my life to see if any of them were really that bad.

there were also a couple of other incidents, like that time he screamed his head off at me, smashed a bowl, and then apologized to his partner while i cleaned up the bowl. and the time he screamed at me for rescheduling an appointment. a lot of other shit happened but im not gonna talk about all of it.

a few weeks before i moved out, i told his partner that basically i couldnt handle his temper and screw him.

i am now going to mention again that breakdowns cam be manipulative, and his anger im fairly certain was a response to abuse, and for the first couple years at least he was very nice and supportive most of the time.

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peridipshit · 6 years

Text

EDIT: IDK HOW TO MAKE A READMORE ON MOBILE SORRY FOR A WALL

hey hey guys ive been super inactive and theres a reason for that and that reason finally worked out and i cannot fucking begin to explain how good it is ghjklljhgfdghjkljhgfdghjkljhgfdghjklhgfhjkl

read more for a super lengthy overshare of angst and ecstasy

i kno w its fuckin long, its not for anybody but myself bc ye i have adhd myself and dont know how to read sh i t and dont expect anybody to have the patience for this

so, if i start at the beginning, ive had, the hardest period of my life starting around fall 2016. ive been in community college for about 4 years now, and i dont want to list all of the things ive done because it wouldnt reflect the mental emotional and physical exhaustion ive put myself through for all of this work. and all this time i thought it would amount to nothing because a lot of what i was supposed to be doing was pushed away out of fear. i filled up my time with a million impressive things that i genuinely loved and enjoyed, but knew it wasnt the actual work to get into the universities i was so desperate for. i pushed,, all my applications to the week or day before the due date. i had to give up three out of seven universities because of the deadline pressures.

but my main school, the one that i returned to as the ideal place, but a laughable pipe dream, was the one i worked the absolute hardest for

i needed to do two different applications with a total of uh, 8 or 9 essays? the first round of 5ish essays i submitted the day before, and then the second application, i started the week before and completed the essays and storyboard, and hit the submit button 2 minutes before the deadline. i had two winter semester classes (which both kept me under a no-sleep schedule) and i juggled the application work by night. i ended up with like 3 total hours of sleep in that week. i almost gave up like three times but i remember crying after finding this song which coincidentally reflects the acceptance into the university im now somehow attending. it was the moment to myself that i decided i wanted to push through and grow up

the third round where i almost gave up was when my professor couldnt recieve my emails and i had no other way to contact him during the winter. i came to his office the week school started in spring with a deadline of three days to get my letter completed, and he submitted it an hour and a half before the deadline. i spent that weekend convinced i would just take another year at community college and at home and prepare myself more. i cried after checking my phone when i was walking out of Black Panther because he hadnt submitted it with less than two hours left before my application would have been thrown out. he submitted once i got into the car and refreshed the tab

last month i got an interview with the school of my dreams. i looked up the real statistics and they choose 30 transfer applicants for interview and accept 15. that moment was a rush of disbelief and brief sobbing as i realized that maybe im not crazy and not stupid and maybe just doing good things

that was the longest week of my life, but it wasnt a nervous thing at all. i knew i could nail an interview, it just was practicing. i spent each car ride to school talking to myself for 30 minutes.

i literally could not have done anything as amazingly as i did in that interview without my friend’s help (hey dude), i was literally hearing that skype notification and have never had my heart pound as hard in my life. two seconds thinking about my friends and everything theyve done for me was like, a reminder that ppl care and have my back and istg that power of friendship anime bs is real my dudes and i couldnt ask for better people in my life

i rocked it like some kind of word virtuoso person and waited a month for a notification

limbo is wierd

i spent so long knowing i was so, close, but not in a place to celebrate

the day i found out was Of Course as wild as it was, where i was having a panic attack out of everything in the morning that accumulated, i was like near crying in class because the prof was kinda yelling at me and i almost lost my project and had to run about a mile in heels to look for it and i was being hit on by a guy twice my age and i had 2 hours of sleep

but????????? i got into ucIa in their theater film and television school, which is harder than any ivy league school. me and 14 other transfer students. 92 total undergrads in that entire film school. ill be nineteen into my junior year. ill be at the heart of the industry going into animation and able to do practically anything.

a n d i learned that not only my tuition room and board will be covered, but likely a ridiculous amount beyond that too.

i just. got to a point in my life last year that i knew that i was setting myself up for failure and i thought that if i wasnt improving i was failing and so i put so much onto myself in terms of working that i literally had no time for myself. no time for anything leisurely and no time for shows or movies or games or even friends. the only thing i felt like was my escape was cosplay and i still had that shamed by my family for wasting money and time. i of course had many moments and opportunities to do a few things that i regard very fondly, but overall i had no time to genuinely reflect on the damage that everything had caused. it felt like i had no time to cry ultimately, like some kind of hamster wheel of responsibility and fear. im still recovering now, and i want to be better. i want to do my best for myself and everyone around me. and i want to become someone that can be healthy and be myself. and yknow what im pretty damn proud of where im already at right now

trying hard to keep coherency but i gotta wake up at 5 for an 8am class tomorrow so this is a lil rushed. its probably corny as hecc, but hell i feel just ok for a second and thats nice. i would never have gotten here with the support around me and like, my friends and family have done so much for me and i could write ten of these rambles on each one of you. you care about me and i care about you guys beyond anything these words can express. (*cough*quinn keira kevin cece*cough* not to say everyone else i know hasnt impacted me because gOd so many lives have done so much for me, i just, hey, love yall)

my life is finally feeling like something big, ive never believed in the destined for greatness thing, ive just felt Capable of greatness and afraid beyond words of wasting it. and i want to be great for me, i want to be great to others, and i want to be great to the big picture.

just, holy fuck i love you guys so much and thank you

things are finally looking ok and i would repay you guys back in to the fullest extent of my hearts adoration and appreciation

#ive been low on online conversational executive functioning and online existing forever #but im working on it #ill be around the corner soon #i have a month left of school tho #and then im done and moving on #and have time for me #ily guys #thank you.

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pacman-tattoo · 7 years

Note

Hi! I have a headcanon request- how would Sincerely Three interact with their soulmates in the AU where whatever one person writes on themselves would show up on the other's skin? Thanks so much!

omg this is cute and u said soulmate au and im automatically in love

gonna put this under a readmore

also im assuming u mean x reader but if u want like, actual ship Sincerely Three (because i love them a lot tbh), just ask again and be like ‘tris ur dumb’

evan hansen

alright so u met evan once after u kept scribbling little notes to yourself like “work on english paper” and “buy more pens”

eventually that stuff got smudged and u forgot until all of a sudden there was a “did you do your english paper?” in small, neat handwriting

no, but thank you!

it basically becomes just little reminders to each other and then u just kinda realize

u dont even know ur soulmates name

so u introduce urself and evan responds back with his name and

its kind of familiar???

huh

where do u know this oven handsoap evan hansen

shrug

‘evan?’

‘h-here’

oh my god what the fuck he’s been in ur math class all year how the FUCK did you not notice

‘[y/n]?’

‘uh, here’

evan and u make eye contact because wait.

‘it u’

after class u two introduce urselves to each other formally tbh

jareds jealous btw because wow evan found his soulmate wtf

evan sometimes scribbles on his arm sometime to remember stuff

sometimes u doodle on urself and evan finds it cute like, no matter how good or bad it is??

imagine like

in the future

moving in together

sometimes u go grocery shopping and u just have evans neat lil handwriting on ur arm of everything u need to get

sometimes u get lil ‘i love you’s on ur arm after a while??? and its rly sweet??? bless

evan tends to write in blue ink btw

usually light blue if he can but dark/regular blue ink is also fine

u caught him once doodling a tree on his arm.

why was he doodling a tree? heck if u know

u just caught the tree on ur arm and ur like ‘fuck thats adorable’

jared kleinman

u and jared probably met when u two were like, 13, since jared was probably drawing on himself or some shit and u were like ‘kleinman i fucking see u, stop drawing dicks’

he snorted a lil and then had to pretend he wasnt doing shit when ppl looked his way

13 year old boys tho, guys gals n nonbinary pals.

u two probably clicked pretty quickly

u dont end up dating until like, sophomore year tbh

but after that u two are inseparable

“charge ur phone, idiot”

“shut up kleinman”

“love u”

“love u too dumbass”

jared would 100% be the person who would just start writing on himself and then he sees ur not replying so he just texts u

“write back”

he has drawn at least one (1) meme on himself

just

u fuckin look down and theres a fucking meme on ur arm

“jared im gonna fucking kill u”

ok but just casual little messages to each other

ur going over to jareds? u get a note on ur arm thats basically “get more gummy bears” or some shit

evan just watches u and jared furiously writing on urselves

what are u two even saying

he doesn’t know

he just knows that u two go through pens rly quickly

everyone knows

u two go to the store and argue about what color pens u wanna buy

playing lil games like hangman on urselves tho

connor murphy

can i just link maia’s soulmate au because nothing i say can top it because its a really realyl fucking beautiful piece of writing and i love it a lot and y’all should read it. heck, ask me and i’ll link u to it and her account if u dont know her already (she’s on hiatus as of rn i believe but her writing is

no? okay

so connor strikes me as the kind of person who just draws on himself because paying attention??? no

who pays attention anymore

not connor

so u just get doodles. so many doodles.

u dont rly mind

its cool

connors surprised that he has a soulmate bc eventually u write back a ‘i like ur art’

connor’s actually in ur english class. which is the only class he doesn’t doodle on himself

ok do urself a favor and stop reading and go read maia’s soulmate au because its a thousand times better than anything i can come up with

thank u

dumb 3 am talks

dumb reminders to each other

dumb doodles

u write little reminders to him a lot more than he does u

ok but seriously go read maia’s soulmate au because its perfect

heck

ask me

and i will straight up link it to u

bonus! all three ;)

so one day u notice theres writing on your hand. it’s a little smudged and it’s basically like “ask mom for refill on pills” or something small like that and ur like ‘huh’

u dont write back to that specific one at first but later u looked at ur hand and saw that whatever ink the person had been using is much more smudged and ur like ‘huh i wonder if they ever got their meds’

so u write down ur forearm asking

immediately theres a ‘what? i dont take meds’ in very quick, neat handwriting

and ur just like ?? before theres… more handwriting that actually matches the question from earlier

‘no, i didn’t! thank you’

‘wait evan what the fuck’

‘that wasnt you?’

‘no’

‘or connor?’

… evan??? connor????

theres a brief period where no one writes anything

then all of a sudden u get a “so who the fuck are u”

“[y/n]”

ok.

yall kind of assign ink colors just so u all know whos writing what sometimes

like, yeah handwriting but its easier just to know ‘oh, connor is trying to say something’ bc theres purple ink on ur arm

connor is purple, jared is green, evan is blue

ur ink tends to be red

dumb writing at 2 am

its mainly between u and connor and sometimes jared

but sometimes evan writes

usually he’s asleep tho

why dont u kids text

for the au.

thats the only reason

its basically chaos

u… actually live away from them and one weekend ur like ’fuck it, im driving out to meet these losers’

so u tell em

holy shit ur coming to meet them

:0 so they offer to meet u somewhere???

a la mode

best ice cream

bless

so u punch it into google maps and an hour later u see like

three fucking nerds standing around outside

ur sitting in ur car

so u just write

‘hey fuckfaces’

they just

all look around like ‘wtf’

u get out of the car

formal introductions

they’re all???? cute??? is this fuckn legal

they… look like how they write?

does that make sense

like. evan’s handwriting is small and neat and kinda smudgy at times - and he just… looks like a nervous bean to you. jared’s is quick and sloppy and ends up taking more space than a paragraph from connor does - and jared looks like the sort of dude full of personality. connor’s handwriting is small and runs together and kinda unreadable sometimes and it just

they look like how they write

its weird idk

u all end up getting ice cream and talking

finally u guys actually like

exchange numbers

since u keep getting shit about ink poisoning

so sometimes u will drive out to see these dorks

what kind of luck did u have that you ended up only a town away tbh

general headcanons

warmest cuddle sessions

dumb notes to each other

includes memes

‘jared just text it-’ ‘no’

u just get ‘come visit us u fuck’ on ur arm once

writing on urselves when ur all int he same room

and literally sitting right next to each other

zoe walked in and she’s just like ‘… okay.’

u have a bad day? u take a nap

u wake up and theres a lot of just lil lovely things written on ur arms???

sweet dorks

(and at least 1 meme)

(because theres always 1 meme)

thats all i got

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solienna · 7 years

Note

i was going to be like 'all of them' but that would be mean so instead im 'just' going to ask for 1, 4, 8, 10, 13, 17, 21, 28, 32, 33, 35, 47, 50,

putting this under a readmore bc meander!!! you spoil me

01: When did you first start writing? okay i actually am gonna give you two answers to this question bc i feel like i started writing at two periods in my life. the first time i actually started writing was in third grade because i had like. the BEST third grade teacher, he was awesome and in my eyes was like, the best artist i had ever met just bc he had a basic grasp of how to draw shit and i absolutely didn’t and still don’t, every time teachers tell me to draw things for an assignment i lose ten years off my lifespan but anyways!! off topic. he really encouraged creativity and i was in a class with one of my friends, his name was like john or michael or something, and i would write and he would illustrate (i thought he was the second-best artist i had ever met just bc he also had a basic grasp on drawing and i still didn’t). i wrote about like. this dog and his name was super yuff and got his powers through lightning that struck him and he just flew around and like. idk he did a lot of shit, i still have the stories i wrote. but like i was DEDICATED to this character and so was my illustrator friend. i remember one weekend i was just sitting on my bed with a bunch of folded up printer paper just writing about this dumb superhero dog that somehow ended up in like the halo universe bc even back then i was obsessed with video games. that was the first thing i actually WROTE. HOWEVER. after third grade i just took a huge break. like not intentionally, of course. i loved writing but i didn’t know it was my THING yet. i didn’t really have a thing yet, it was only third grade ok. HOWEVER. when i transitioned into middle school that’s when i picked up writing again. i don’t even remember why. all i know was that my dad had bought skyrim and he was playing it and just by watching it i LOVED it. i adored the history behind the game and i just loved the graphics, and when i started playing the game i got HOOKED. stayed up entire nights just doing random side quests for npcs and feeling a huge goddamn hero, let me save this talking dog from the wrath of his daedric master nbd, just doing my job, let me set all these beehives on fire and get mauled by a bear, cool cool. and one day i just? was like wow, why don’t i write a story about it! about my skyrim OC going to solstheim and falling in love with the aloof nd really sarcastic and interesting teldryn sero (who still remains one of my favorite skyrim npcs to this day)!! and i thought i was Hot Shit too, i thought i fucking invented fanfiction. and then i found wattpad and then that was that folks, i got hooked on writing all over again and i still am

04: Have you ever thrown a book across the room? mmmm not that i can recall? i’m not really a book-thrower, i’m more of a book-holder. like if something really shocking happens in a book i feel like i’d be more likely to hug it close to my chest than throw it08: What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten? tbh pretty much everything you’ve told me meander!! i don’t really think i’d be writing that much if not for you. honestly you flatter me on a daily basis with your compliments about my really pretentious use of metaphors in like every single paragraph and basically just with your interest in all of my writing projects even for fandoms you’re not technically in!! i’ve never really been told by anyone that i’ve got a way with words and when you told me that i was like wow!! people actually like the shit i write, that’s cool! that’s real cool my guy10: What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve? honestly i THRIVE on feedback. i took a huge writing break like a few years ago just because i couldn’t WRITE the way i used to. to just sit down and spew out 5000 word chapters on a whim wasn’t something i could feasibly DO anymore. i thought i lost my touch or something but it was honestly just because i didn’t get enough feedback. again shout out to u meander because you legit FLOODED me with feedback on like. everything. i’m still over the moon about half the shit you’ve told me like a year ago. tbh half the reason i yell in the tags is because creators read the tags!! they really do!! so i wanna leave some positive feedback for them because i want them to know that i liked whatever it was that they made!!

13: What’s your favorite writing quote? it’s not really a writing quote but!! “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” -C.S. Lewis21: Do you outline? i honestly burst out laughing when i saw this question, i do not in any way whatsoever outline anything bc apparently i hate myself. ok the last time i outlined a story was like four years ago and it worked…. really well…… so for some reason i was like wow how about we not make our lives easier. no outlining our fics we ruin our own writing projects like men

28: Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end? everything, everything is hard, i can’t write in a linear fashion. nah but tbh i feel like it’s the middle? like what do you even do. what is the middle all about. i’ve never met her32: How do you feel about friends and close relatives reading your work? ABSOLUTELY NOT. get them away. i am very protective of my writing bc it’s personal to me. like i don’t want y’all reading my shit and then going up to me in real life thinking you know all my secrets bc if u read my shit you WILL know all my secrets, i painstakingly pour my heart into everything i write because in everything i do, i try REALLY REALLY hard. if i let u read my writing it’s a show of trust33: Are you interested in having your work published? in its current state? probably not!! maybe later on down the road would be nice, but i’ve still got a lot to learn //side-eyes all my failed attempts at witty dialogue35: What’s your favorite time of day for writing? nighttime. like dead of the night, i’m in bed with my phone and should be asleep right now but instead i’m gonna grab my laptop and fucking dump out all the words in my brain onto this word document. other than that i honestly just write during school a lot? like when we get free time i’m either studying for a test or writing.47: If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why? i want to take preston garvey out of bethesda’s hands. i’ve fallen in love with him over the course of just writing one scene for his character study. it’s the second-to-last scene (bc i cant write in linear order) and like. gosh. i want him to be my character, he’s so sad but also so optimistic and he tries so hard. ok those kinds of characters are my Type, i love characters who try really hard

50: If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be? i’m honestly not really sure? like hardcore i love daydreaming but it’s never about myself doing cool things, it’s about characters doing cool things. i kinda wanna meet an omnic tho, they seem really chill. maybe like live in falkreath? it’s really chill and pretty there and the mountains are really looming and i like that. imagine meeting the dragonborn and they buy out your entire store and then just leave. thats fucking crazy my guy

#ask #my post #about #meander #here's a wall of text meander i hope u enjoy it

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harryisntstraight · 7 years

Note

Sorry that was so long i just am feeling very confused about how i identify and i thought maybe you would have some advice or be able to help me out a little? You're always so sweet and kind and im feeling very lost atm. Sorry about only 2 of the asks going through tumblr didnt eat them my phone was just not letting me send them so i had to switch to my computer. You can just read all the asks and reply to just this one on your blog if thats ok? :)

aaww hey i’ll post the rest under a readmore so it doesnt clog ppl dash (soz if ur reading this on mobile jfhsdjh) also i posted the rest of ur ask just bc i feel like there might be ppl who resonate w the whole thing yanno

I've known I liked girls for a few years now and I've always labeled myself as bisexual and I have dated one guy and it was a pretty eh relationship. Didn't feel much so I broke it off. I recently have been really questioning my attraction to men. I feel sexually attracted to some men but not that many. I'll see the occasional guy I find attractive irl but that's pretty rare mostly I find some celebrity men hot but even that is very few when compared to the amount of women I find attractive I just feel like I find all women so beautiful and am attracted to them in this whole different way to men? Like it takes a lot for me to find a guy hot and when I do it's almost never to the degree that I feel for women. And when I think about men romantically it does nothing for me all the cute stuff you're supposed to want I don't? I can think about sex with certain men and find it very appealing and that's it. But when I think about dating a woman and doing really cute mushy stuff with her it feels so right and makes me feel like its all i want? And I can see myself having a wife and being with a woman forever but men just dont really appeal to me in that way i just cant see it? Thing is I've never actually dated a girl so i keep telling myself im kind of making it up in my head how much i want it or how it could be but idk. And i feel sexually attracted to some guys so i think oh but maybe there will be a guy you want all that with? and i just dont know anymore?

firstly hiiii i relate so much to so many things u said here and i feel like this such common experience for women that are into other women. i think for me personally, i’ve always kind of been quite into the idea of not labelling my sexuality specifically. i feel really comfortable with using labels like gay or lgbt or queer as umbrella terms when talking about myself, but referring to myself as bisexual or lesbian never really feels 100% right for me. like you said, i know that i’m attracted to women romantically and sexually so i definitely identify as being lgbt i just always find it difficult to point to one precise label thats more specific. i think in a way, a lot of what your describing is probably down to heteronormativity and a degree of internalised homophobia, like its something that we all have to battle with and deal with daily even on a subconscious level. when being same gender attracted is still seen as ‘abnormal’ i think its only natural to feel weird about that part of yourself and want to repress it slightly. i think being a woman as well we’re so defined by our supposed attraction to men that its hard to get over that and accept that it’s something you dont feel. even if you know if ur heart that loving women is a natural and beautiful thing, when ur constantly surrounded by a society thats so focused on heterosexuality it can be so difficult to accept that part of you no matter how much you want to. i cant tell you how you identify or what the right label is for you but i think just being open and not pressuring yourself into fitting one specific label can actually be really helpful and take a lot of the stress and anxiety away. i think once you stop frantically trying to put a name to what you feel, it gets easier to just....Feel(tm) what youre feeling and sort of go with the flow. not second guessing and analysing my attraction has honestly helped me a lot, if i feel something for someone i sort of just feel it. i try not to get caught up in putting a name on my sexuality, but instead just experience it as it happens. i think its a really natural thing to want to understand yourself and figure out who you are but honestly, you have so much time to do that that if you cant figure it out right now then its not that important. i think as long as you acknowledge your attraction to women and are open to exploring it then not knowing for sure whether or not you also like men isn’t a big deal. i definitely think that experience is helpful to understanding yourself better, once you have that experience it does help solidify things in your mind and i know for myself that once i started being with girls i became 100000% more sure that i wasnt ‘faking’ anything and that i was into them. that being said, it isnt mandatory and not having experience with the same sex doesnt by any means devalue your feelings or sexuality. long story short just give it time, dont stress yourself out too much with forcing a label that you’re unsure about. things will get clearer for eventually and maybe someday you’ll find a label that fits you. and maybe you wont and honestly thats okay too. sexuality is complex as hell and understanding yourself is genuinely a journey, it’s totally okay if you’re only just getting started. hope this helped a bit, love you 💖

#Anonymous

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