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#i wish those people nothing but the best in life
tomurakii · 2 days
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I kind of hate all the comparisons between kipperlily and like. Those fuckass "affirmative action fucks me over I wish I was [minority] so it would be easier" people because none of that. Is what she said. She said the bad kids already had more experience with adventuring before they got to augefort and it meant they had an advantage. Which is true. Yeah Riz was lower-class but his mum was a COP. Riz, Kristen and Fig had parents who were heroes (Sandra-Lynn is an active ranger, Kristen's parents are paladins, Sklonda is a rogue), Adaine's family was super rich and politically influential, Fabian had both. Gorgug's the only one who wasn't actively at an advantage [IN THE CONTEXT OF HAVING PRIOR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HEROISM] and she didn't have shit to say about him. Kipperlily was the first person in her family to try heroism, the bad kids are largely legacy admissions.
Additionally to the people comparing it to the "anti-affirmative action" crowd: do you know what affirmative action is. The bad kids didn't receive special consideration on their admissions to aguefort or scholarships or additional financial support or extended assessment times or anything. How could she be mad about affirmative action if none of these people received affirmative action. What they DID have was knowledge about their classes that started much earlier than high school, which is what Kipperlily said in her file that she thought grading should be adjusted for because she did not have that.
To me it's less like affirmative action and more like augefort is like an IQ test. They pretend that it's fair and objective, but you can be taught how to do those things from a younger age, and if your parents took the time to teach you pattern recognition and shit then you'll do better on an IQ test than someone who wasn't trained for it and everyone will act like that makes you innately smarter when it doesn't. It just means someone taught you how to do that earlier.
Barring Gorgug, every one of the bad kids had access to information about heroism and their class at a younger age than Kipperlily did, which primed them for success in their classes. Every one of them got additional information about mysteries from their families (and even direct battle-tactics training from Bill), Riz especially with getting classified info out of his mum. Kipperlily does not have hero relatives. She's the first in her family line to attend a hero school. She knew nothing about it before her first day, meanwhile Kristen was already the chosen of Helio, Adaine had already been attending the best wizard school in the country, Fabian had already spent his whole life training with his father, and Riz was already involved in solving mysteries using info and tactics he got from his parents.
They aren't necessarily "privileged" (except Fabian and Adaine), but Kipperlily didn't say they were, she said that in the specific context of attending a hero school they had a prior-knowledge advantage. Saying they didn't is like comparing the grades of a kid who's academic career started with preschool with a kid who didn't attend until middle school and acting like one of them wasn't better prepared.
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I need to...
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Enjoy my Summer I.
MASTERLIST
Summary: You start off your summer in Dorne, with your girl best friend and your godmother 
Pairings: Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader, Jacaerys Velaryon x Sara Snow
Warnings: cursing, horny people, PDA, teasing, fears of cheating, discussion about cheating, all in good fun, might miss some warnings, you know what this is about jeje
Wordcount: 4,4 k
Notes:I can't apologise enough for the delay to this! I had most of the next chapter and nothing on this one! jeje I had a HUGE block... and eventually, I managed... but I feel like there is nothing intense on this chapter, but still... I hope you all liked this!
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“Cregan! Jace! Look who we run into!”, you said excitedly into the back camera of your phone. Jace and Cregan’s mouth opened widely when they saw who you were with
“Hello, I’m Oberyn Martell and this is for these lovely ladies’ boyfriends, Jace and Cregan!”, the charismatic man said, waving at the camera
Then you and Sara show up in screen, Oberyn grabbed you both under each arm and kissed your cheeks
“You are lucky men!”, he teased. You show up giddy and giggly, hugging onto Oberyn martell
The boys’ smile wiped out immediately, sharing concerned looks
“Is Oberyn going to… fuck our girlfriends?”, asked Jace, with a traumatised look on his face
“No! No”, muttered Cregan looking at the road ahead, “I don’t think….”, they both looked ahead wide-eyed and mouth agape…“Well…”
“He is going to fuck our girlfriends isn’t he?”, asked Jace
“Alright search where is the nearest airport and how much is going to cost us the next plane ticket to the fucking watergardens…”
“We can’t leave the car in here dude!”, muttered Jace, typing on his phone, “besides is going to cost us like a thousand golden dragons and 12 hours with three different connections, by the time we get there…”
“You are right, is crazy….”, they spend the next minutes in silence, just looking at the road, “Look…”, started Cregan grabbing onto the wheel, “...he is Oberyn Martell alright? I don’t know if the girls choose to… do… him… but… if they did… I mean…”, Jace nodded nervously
“Yes we couldn’t blame them, I mean, if I encountered him, and he invited me to his hotel room, I’d go too”, Cregan nodded enthusiastically
“Yeah, right? Mee too, and I wouldn’t like my beautiful girlfriend to be mad, because… he is Oberyn Martell, right? everyone’s favourite actor/philanthropist/playboy/martial arts specialist/tv personality”
“Yeah so if they decided to… go back to his room with him…”
“We shouldn’t be mad”, said Cregan
“Right, right, if anything… we are jealous”
“Right!”, said Cregan, and they both went back to stare at the road ahead 
Cregan wished he had gone with you instead of having all those boring family reunions, specially with Robb being so mean, he was forced to hang out in the kid’s table, it was a bit embarrassing, considering he was twenty
But that was done, and now, Jace and him where on his car, on their way down the routes of the North, their plan was to explore some cities as they made their way towards Harrenhal, give the girls time to join them when they finish in the Watergardens 
But Cregan was so happy to receive all those exciting texts from Sara, she was having the time of her life thanks to you, and those texts from you to… made him blush as he was looking straight ahead
He wasn’t worried about you and Oberyn, not at all, but he did wish he was with you right now, having met him and together in the sun… summer… made him so horny, he didn’t even know why.
“We should be arriving in Castle Cerwin in a couple of hours”, offered Jace with a smile 
Castle Cerwin was a cool town but not where the boys would like to be 
But this is the decision they had made so it's the one they were sticking to, besides they were meeting some of Cregan’s friends so it was going to be a fun night in the town with all boys
Then…. Like five other towns in their way to The God’s Eye
But meanwhile
“Should I feel bad that you didn’t bring your boyfriend for me to meet?”, asked Your Godmother over her Chanel sunglasses
As Sara enjoyed the pool over an inflatable flamingo, your godmother started the third degree on you.
“No”, you said shakily, “It’s nothing like that, it's just, he had things to do with his family”
“How serious is this?”, she asked, not convinced 
“I think pretty serious”, you whispered as you sunbathed by her side
“It’s a bit soon, don’t you think?”, she asked, concerned
“We thought things through”, you reassured her, “we are taking things slow”
“Are you?”, she asked, well, not really
“My therapist says he is been good for me”, you said, that seemed to content her
“And when can I meet him?”, she asked
“After this, we are all going to the God’s Eye”, you offered with an apologetic smile
“Alright, maybe next season”, she muttered, you only laughed
“It would mean a lot to me if you met him”, you said with a soft smile
“I can’t wait, my love”, she answered, “from what you have told me, he seems like a great guy, and if he is half as nice as his sister… I’m sure he is the right one for you”
“Well, is too soon to speak about forever, but that is how it feels like right now”, you whispered with a silly smile, and you found your Godmother smiling back at you
“I’m so glad you finally found someone who can… well… a decent man”, she finished, you giggled
“After this we are going to Daemon’s house, in the Island of faces”
“I’ve heard”, she teased, “without any adult supervision?”, you giggled
“No… I don’t think so…”
“Take care, alright?”, she asked, “please?”
“Of course”, you whispered 
“And tell that little Cregan that if he doesn’t take care of you… I can pay someone to take care of him…”
“Godmother!”, you chided playfully
“I’m just teasing…”, she said sipping her cocktail
You spend the rest of the day in the pool, and by the end, you had an early dinner, and started sipping cocktails with Sara. Your godmother left you, and you both were alone to go to the club that was inside the resort.
You didn’t felt particularly in a party mode, and even though you were with Sara and you were having the best of times, you missed Cregan and Jace, there is some things that you’d rather do with them, like going out to a club, but you were determined to have a great time only with Sara.
The boys haden’t answered much, and you understood, they were driving, you really wished they would let you know when they arrived at their destination, but you didn't want to be pushy… or even come out as controlling
Maybe they were at a spot where they didn’t have a signal… those thick woods around the roads in the North were tricky, you really didn’t want to be concerned… it was a bit frustrating… not knowing what to say or do in this situations
You cared for Cregan and you wanted to talk to him, make sure he is good and having a good time
They barely answered to your video of Obryn Martell when you encountered him
IT WAS OBERYN MARTELL! He was everyone’s favourite actor/philanthropist/playboy/martial arts specialist/tv personality, and they barely answered!
You had to take a long breath
They were driving, haven’t even made it to Castle Cerwyn yet, probably
Your phone “dinged”, it was a text from Cregan
Just arrived at castle Cerwin to Ben’s house, everything is fine, ttyl
“That’s it?”, you asked Sara, as she was applying her lipstick, she read the text and raised an eyebrow
“Well, at least they are fine”, she said dismissively
“Nothing from Jace?”, you asked her
“I’m sure they are fine! Just tired! They had been driving all day”, she said mindlessly, and you wanted to be alright with them… lack of communication
You weren’t stuck to your phone all day either, right?
I’d love to “see” you later, videochat?
You typed, but you erased it before you hit send, you didn’t really want to be clingy.
You look at the mirror for the last time, you were looking fine, so was Sara, with simply dresses, hair loose, simple makeup, comfortable shoes
You had no expectation of the night whatsoever, only to have some Dornesy cocktails and have a real girls talk with your friend
You decided to go to a club a couple of hotels over, they say it was the most fun, you took a hotel van to the place, a method of transportation that was not going to be available later at night
The place was nice, over the beach, a nice looking bar, it was already night, so everything was lit up, outside with torches and other “tiki” looking decorations
You ordered a round of fruit-based drinks and you couldn’t stop chatting about everything you had seen and do for the last couple of days.
Sara had never travelled out of Winterfell before and she was looking at everything with wonder, it was actually refreshing, more so since you haven't been to the Watergardens before either, so it was all new to you too.
The people were nice, and very good looking, the sights were amazing, the Watergardens were some sort of an oasis in the middle of a desert, they were breathtaking 
You were having the time of your life, with your godmother and your friend, and yet… you were missing someone, and you spent all day wondering what would it be like if Cregan was here with you, and Jace as well.
It was such a romantic place! 
Even though you weren’t sure how comfortable you would be around Cregan wearing a bikini, but at the same time… you felt so… warm… just by thinking about it
You couldn’t wait to meet them in the lake, it was going to be such a great time! 
Both your phones “dinged” at the same time, and you grabbed them together, it was a notification of a publication of Cregan and Jace, together.
You found it odd, but went to the publication
And paled
Your boyfriends had encountered the one and only…
“IS THAT…?”, You asked
“Margaery Tyrell”, muttered Sara, looking wide-eyed the photo they posted
“Impossible!”
“Well she was on a national tour!”
“Oh for the gods”
She wasn’t alone, she was with her best friend and also a singer… Jeyne Westerling
One for each
They seemed pretty cosy, judging by the background, they were in some restaurant
“Do they think they didn’t take it well that we met Oberyn Martell?”, she asked fearfully, you didn’t know what to think, what to do
Why didn’t he text you personally?
Why did he have to post it? Well, it was a collab with a friend, a friend posted it, but tagged them so, it wasn’t them, they were probably too busy just… chatting it up with two of the most gorgeous and talented women in the entire continent
“Oh gods”, Sara sighed, “should we call them?”, she asked
“No”, you said firmly, sipping on your cocktail, “we shouldn’t bother them”
“You don’t think they'll have dinner and party together, right?”, she asked fearfully
“No, no I don’t think so”, but when you better thought about it. They were two handsome, hunky, smart, kind, amazing young men and… They would be the biggest idiots if they wouldn’t
“I see concern in your face, should we be concerned?”, she asked, and then you shook your head
“They weren’t concerned about us and Oberyn, right? They are the boys!”, you said as it was obvious, “Cregan and Jace! Not any other!”, you said simply, “we took the video with Oberyn, and sent them a greeting because we knew they were fans as everyone else is, for the record, they did the same! I mean… if they saw Margaery and Jeyne and didn’t take pictures with them like… they are idiots!”, and now you were rambling
“You are rambling”, she said
You looked at your phone as if you could call Cregan with your mind, but it wasn’t working, they didn’t call you, they didn’t ask Margaery to send you a greeting.
Gods
It would be so much better if you could call him, call them, and talk, and hear how much they miss you, as much as you missed them.
“Let’s talk about something else”, Sara offered, ”they are not torturing us all day, we shouldn’t torture them”
“Yes! Yes”, you said simply, and you started talking about the plans for the remaining days.
But something was bugging you, in the back of your mind
It was probably the lack of texting from your boyfriend and best friend 
And the very possibility they could be partying with the most perfect and famous person you had ever seen.
 You both tried to keep your mind off of things, the place started to get crowded, and you lost your table as it was clear to set up a dance floor and now you were talking at the bar, snacking on Lys fries and still sipping on a new cocktail
Oh if you only notices how far you had moved from your cellphones in the bar
It had been a couple of hours, you had shooed away a couple of guys who were a little bit straightforward
“Want to dance?”, you asked her, and she nodded enthusiastically 
“Yes! Let’s do it!”, you looked for your belonging in the bar… and nothing
“Where are our phones?”, you asked, searching frantically
“They were right here!”, she said, as scared as you were
“Dammit!”
You looked everywhere, asked all the bartenders, but nothing, someone took your phones
“We should go back to the hotel”, you said, the night a bit spoiled, you weren’t concerned, they were locked, and unlocking your phone and Sara's was impossible because of the making of the phone itself, but still…
“Yes, before it's too late to get a cab”, she muttered 
. . .
“I can’t believe we met Margaery, she was so nice”, muttered Jace with a dreamlike expression on his face
“Yeah, who would have thought? Of all restaurant in the the city, that would have walked in the same one”, said Cregan
“The girls seemed oddly quiet though”, said Jace
“I didn’t send them the pic yet”, said Cregan
“Wait… Ben uploaded something”, said Jace, looking into his socials, “and Sara saw it”
“You have no more messages from her? I have nothing from (y/n)”, Spoke Cregan, now concern
“They wanted to talk but it was when we were in the HIghway entering the city and… it was messy, and we had started fighting!”, muttered Jace
“And then we barely texted them when we were greeting Ben and his ten siblings and his parents!”. Said Cregan
“We told them we couldn’t talk and then Ben uploaded a photo with Margaery Tyrell”
They shared concerned looks
“Are there any chances that they are angry… very angry… possibly contemplating calling back Oberyn Martell because they think we…”
“Yep”, answered Jace quickly
“Oh for the Gods!”, Cregan moaned, rubbing his face, “they hate us!”
“Nah, come on, they are… rational people… right?”, whined Jace, “they are not… criminally insane and go on a guy-kissing rampage only because we didn’t answer a text”
“You are right”, he said simply, “yes you are right, they are probably already in bed, and tired, you know, sunbathing is tiring, the sand like… steals your energy away, right?”
“Right! Right! Right!”
“Are you freaking out?”, asked Cregan
“No no, if anything we should be angry, they are not answering our texts… they are being childish!”
“Right!”
“Right, yes, because, what? They believe we stood a chance against Margaery and Jeyne? Like they would be remotely interested in us…?”, 
“Well… they did ask us where we were staying”, said Cregan between greeted teeth
“We are so screwed”, muttered Jace, “we didn’t even tell them, meaning… they at least made Oberyn send us a greeting… right?”
“Oh gods”
“They must be so angry Cregan, I don’t want to lose Sara! I love her”
“I don’t want to loose my girl either, I love her too…”, and then, at that fundamental moment, they stopped their neurosis to look at each other
“YOU LOVE HER!?”, asked at the same time
“And we didn’t even got to tell them!”, said Cregan
“Gods”
“They must be so angry right now…”
“We will fix it, alright? Nothing happened!”, Jace tried to assure himself 
. . . 
“My feet hurt!”, whined Sara, and you were thinking the same thing, you were probably bleeding inside your high heel sandals
You couldn’t find a cab, of course, so you were walking back to the hotel
“Mine too”
“I want to sleep in that magnificent bed, I want to talk to my boyfriend”, she whined
“Me too”, you agreed
“Do you have your tablet? From there we can let them know our phones got stolen”
“Yes, and we need to get new ones in the morning”, you muttered, whining about your aching feet, “shouldn’t have we gotten there by now?”, you asked, looking around
“Yes, actually, the ride there was straight down the road, and then left..”, muttered Sara, “so naturally…”
“No, no it wasn't left, it was right, the side of the beach was the right”, you said
“Yes but remember the roundabout of the hotel? Makes you think that you are on the right, but it’s actually left”
‘I don’t understand”, you muttered, you looked around, and nothing looked similar, “no…”
“What?”, she asked
“We have been walking the wrong way!”, you whined
“Noooo!”
“YES!” 
“DANG ITTTTT”
You were turning around, to go the other way, but suddenly… the most majestic sports car turned around the curb, and stopped right by your side
You couldn’t believe your eyes, it was actually Oberyn!
“Can’t believe my eyes! The northerner girls!”, he said, he wasn’t alone, he was accompanied by a gorgeous woman
“Hello Oberyn”, Sara greeted with the greatest smiled
“What are you doing here alone? Shouldn’t you be partying? Taking advantage of this beautiful city and its night life?”
“Yes we were but our phones got stolen, we couldn’t order a cab to go back to our hotel”, you said with a shy smile
“Say no more, get in”, he invited, the woman just looked at you and smiled… not kindly, but… it was nice nonetheless
You were going to say now, but if you took two more steps on those ridiculous shoes you decided to wear, you were going to cry
You shared looks with Sara and got in
“This is Ellaria… my wife”, he introduced
“WHAT!?”, you both asked at the same time, both relaxed and happy
“Nobody knows you have a wife!”, said Sara
“I know!”, he said with a big smile, she looked back at you both
“So, these are the girls you talked to me about, asking you to send a video to their boyfriends”, said for the first time Ellaria, she had this seductive, smooth voice, with the characteristic Dornish accent, and you couldn’t get over how beautiful she was
 “Yeah! exactly, where did you say they are? Why aren’t they here with you!?”, he asked, almost scandalised, and he turned on his sports car and you started sliding through the streets of the Seaside resort of Sunspear… The Watergardens, “you know they do call this city… the city of love”, he giggled 
“They wanted to do a roadtrip of the North, we are going to meet in the God’s Eye”, you said softly
“Oh, Riverland, nice”, he said, “I heard there is a festival there at the middle of summer, it was quite the event”
“Really?”, you asked
“Oh yeah, it was quite fun, the Lake Party, but it’s been a bore for the last couple of years”, contributed Ellaria
“Yeah, maybe we should go”, said Oberyn, Ellaria smiled
“Maybe we should”, she teased, “we can make it matter again”, they shared this significant look, like there was nothing else in this world but them, they were so in love, you could tell, they were both beautiful. It was barely a second, he was driving, but still…
You felt joy when you watched them, but… not envy or nothing like that, you…
Were watching what is what like to be with Cregan
Oh how you loved him
Wait… WHAT!?
“Here you are ladies”, he said happily, pulling the car to the hotel’s entry, it was of no surprise he knew which hotel it was, you had met at the club this morning
“Thank you so much Oberyn!”, Sara said
How could this happen? you were with one of the greatest stars of the century, and you only cared about Cregan, and how much you wished he was there with you.
“Let’s take a picture for the socials”, said Ellaria, taking a selfie with you both on the back seat and Oberyn and Ellaria smiling, “I’ll upload it, what are your users?”, she asked
You gave them your social media data, you couldn’t believe this was happening
“Thank you so much, both of you, thank you!”, you said with a grateful smile, “It would be so amazing if we meet again in the Lake!”
“So we can finally meet this boyfriends of yours”
“There must be something in the air, they met Margaery today, and Jeyne”, Sara told them, they shared concerned looks
“Really?”, and then they both looked back at you
“What?”, asked Sara
“Nothing, i’m sure it went well”, said Oberyn
“Oh come on!”, you said to him, “now i’m concerned”
“No!”, said Ellaria, sharing looks and kept repeating like a mantra, “no no no no”
“Ok you look for the picture… is under @BenTallheart999”, you commanded, she looked it up, his account was public, and saw the picture
“Oh, they are delicious!”, she adored
“Hey!”, teased Oberyn, with a big goofy smile, “You know what? let’s discuss this in the bar”
He was so chaotic and funny, you actually went to the hotel bar, you ordered drinks and snacks, and you spent two hours talking about Cregan, and Jace, and their relationship, they were actually giving you advice.
“I think you both need to downplay it, making them wait, and always be on guard”, said Ellaria, “that is how I caught this one!”, she teased pointing at Oberyn
“NOT TRUE!”, he said, “and no!”, he said pointing at you in warning, “it’s clear that these boys feel the same, jump all in!”
“NO!”, fought Ellaria, “you don’t want to give them the power”
“What if… now that we are not answering… they actually go somewhere with that pair of international stars!”, Sara said, concerned
“They will not!”, said Oberyn
“But we have barely talked since we parted ways!”, you said
“Because they are on a road trip! And you are in the pool or beach all day”, he tried to reason, “they understand, you understand, right?”
It was such a chaotic and wild night, you will definitely remember it
You went back to your room, your godmother probably asleep, in her own suit
You almost threw yourself on top of your tablet, and logged into your account
Messages started pouring in, and hundreds of requests to being followed since, of course, OBERYN MARTELL HAD TAGGED YOU ON A PHOTO
And you had several messages of Cregan
Hey love, are you alright?
Haven’t heard from you in a while”
Is everything alright?
I don’t want to sound… or actually… seen controlling but, we are getting a bit worried
Maybe you are sleeping
I miss you
The last text reached you like twenty minutes ago, so you texted back quickly
Cregan! I never meant to worry you, Sara and I went for a drink in a nearby club, and our phones got stolen!
We are back in the hotel
You won’t believe who brought us back!
Oberyn Martell again! AND HIS WIFE, it was bananas
Are you guys alright?
“Give me!”, demanded Sara, and you gave her the tablet, and she logged in her own account
“A couple of  concerned messages from Jace”, she muttered
I swear nothing happened with Margaery, or Jeyne, they were great, but nothing happened
Are you angry?
Please don’t be…
I miss you terribly
Please give us a sign that you are alright
“We need to talk to them”, you said
But for tonight? You went to sleep, you were so, so tired
The very next morning, over orange juice, and a big breakfast… you both decided to call Cregan and Jace
“Hey loves!”, as soon as you saw them, you felt relieved.
“Hey girls!”
“We miss you!”, said Jace
You were placed next to Sara, and you couldn’t wait to tell them everything that had happened over the last days, they had been so chaotic
“Our phones got stolen last night!”, you said quickly
It was all fine, and you couldn’t believe you ever doubted them, they were Jace and Cregan, your boys! You only needed to talk to them, Oberyn was right…
It was all good
So… it was so good, you spent the next few days enjoying the pool, the beach, your godmother, eating in the most delicious restaurants, and having the time of your life, taking a long breath of fresh air… 
Recharging your batteries after life-altering decisions you had made this year… and especially… to make you think about what you wanted, and where you wanted to go… 
And who you wanted to go with you
Cregan
Sara
Jace
Your Godmother, the most important people in your life, and this trip helped you realise that, you were so, extremely happy
You wanted to enjoy those days with your godmother, she invited you here, she wanted to see you, it was mean of you to want to leave because Cregan wasn’t here, so… you were here now, and you enjoyed it to the last second.
Sara, who had never been outside of the North, was seeing everything for the first time and it was so refreshing! She was extremely grateful, and you talked to the boys everyday for an hour about everything they did that day
They were excited, they learned how to properly see a map, because they didn’t want to rely on their phones as much, they sometimes stopped to camp, yes, actually camp, set a campfire, and roast marshmallows, they say they were practising for the summer at the lake, because you were going to have a lot of that.
This was only just beginning
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After chapter notes: Oberyn Martell in this universe is like… if Jackie Chan had a lovechild with Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark 😂
Sorry if it wasn't that exciting... perhaps I'm saving myself for the next one
TAGLIST!
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dreamingofspring · 1 month
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Oh Sklonda's righteous fury hits so hard, as a kid who WAS taken advantage of in many ways by her friends when she was in school, and whose mom tried to tell her they were being unkind and who didn't believe her until she got kinder friends
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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laketoriver · 7 months
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Daymn, allegedly according to tumbkr i have posted 100 times. Wowie. Too bad they’re all liars and owe me big money (i’m too serious)
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not even lying which is the worst part. Anyway it’s late have a “poster” of my “blog au” which “technically” “exists” and uh “yeah”. It exists but like i haven’t posted anything i might one day if i figure out how to format it but idk if y’all would like smthn like that lmk.. Au blogs steal my heart you guys are cuties
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sludgeguzzler · 3 months
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therapy is going to be a struggle bc i just know that as soon as i mention The Divorce the therapist will try to trace all my problems back to The Divorce and to be completely honest with you, i dont think ive ever had a specific problem with my parents not being together anymore (i kinda knew itd happen eventually) and i feel like my issues come more from the aftermath than from the event itself
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kabutone · 5 months
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like not to sound like some edgy piece of shit but that is also why horror is like such a breath of fresh air to me lmao like in almost all the horror media i've seen
#like horror media is the most accurate representation of real life for me cause . life is suffering!!! life is pain!!!#everything fucking hurts !!!!#like i really liked that there were multiple suicidal characters in made in abyss#or at least a common theme was that death is sometimes the one and only way to relieve your suffering#bc thats true! the best day of my life will be the day i die bc i will not be in pain anymore !!! <3 SO TRUE MIA !!!#even the characters that werent horribly deformed like mitty and irumyuui. vueko wanted to kill herself bc of trauma#and saw my beloved i LOVE SAW !!!!! and i FIRMLY BELIEVE that saw is just like real life <3#bc a lot of the victims arguably did not deserve to die. they did not deserve to be “tested”#a lot of good people suffer irl and a lot of bad people get away with what they've done#and sometimes you wake up in a situation that is not your fault but theres nothing you can do to get out of it#sometimes you are forced to endure something that will maim or kill you#and if ONE PERSON decided it was not worth it to hurt you you could have been spared.#and sometimes you panic bc the easier option may be letting yourself die but you wish it wasnt#you wish there was a key or that someone would come and free you painlessly but there isnt a third option#sometimes its immense pain and then death or just death. and you can only pick between those two#sometimes all the fucking tables are turned against you and you can do nothing to fight back! ultimately you just have to take it#and nobody is coming to save you either. someone picked YOU to be the one to suffer and die and now you just have to endure it
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fionnaskyborn · 6 months
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I meant to actually properly color and render this piece, but I greatly underestimated just how much time THAT takes for someone like me, who absolutely cannot use any digital drawing tool without a disproportionate amount of time and effort. I still count a simple unpolished sketch as better than nothing, though, so, without further ado...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!!
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(Opening the image gets rid of the Tumblr compression blur, so please do that in order to see this piece in all of its glory ;w;)
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The thought of going to college is filling me with immense despair and I’m half thinking of dropping out
#I cant do this anymore godammit#i want to SCREAM#I know shipping characters won’t pay the bills but I wish it did#I just wish things weren’t hard anymore I want to play on easy mode. a tutorial mode even. I just. don’t want to do this anymore#I don’t want to! I cant! i cannot!!!! I am sick of disappointing people! I’m sick SICK SICK OF IT!#just another month I’ll be through with this I say#gosh I just need to hold out for just that much longer#I hate when people keep expectations from me! I hate it! Stop it!! stop telling me that I have the ‘capacity to do well’ I don’t! I am#exhausted and average at best! there is nothing I am outstanding in! I am just average! stop stop stop stop expecting that I’ll do something#remarkable in life when I’m just looking forward to dying as soon as possible! stop it! stop it!!#it drives me insane I want to punch a wall it’s driving me INSANE#I am average at everything ok? I’ve made my peace with it. I’m not destined for greater things. I’m studying for a pretty worthless degree.#I don’t even want this degree. I didn’t even choose it. I don’t want to do it. I don’t! I really don’t.#it drives me insane whenever people tell me that I don’t give my 100% in my academics. yes I don’t. I don’t because if I do I will self#destruct. last time I gave it my all I became so severely depressed that I quit everything I quit doing everything I loved. it was horrible#I gave it my all in the way people want you to and the whole time I was suffering and then I failed#it really does affect you when you for once try your absolute best and the result you get is worse than if you didn’t try at all#I was better off slacking. so ever since I’ve done the bare minimum and come to terms with the fact that I am average at best and I’m much#better off being average at best instead of being an absolute failure after doing my absolute best#they say that school doesn’t matter in the long run I hope it’s true because those scars haven’t faded still#the brain damage was irreparable#eugh I hate it here#delete later
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bluepriestess · 1 year
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I just wanted to take a moment to let everyone know how grateful I am to have you all in my life, be you a mutual, a friend, follower, lurker, etc. It certainly has been a year filled with ups and downs but I do not regret any moment of happiness that I felt ♥️
I hope everyone has a good holiday/weekend :)
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swordfinials · 7 months
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I hope all the friends I used to talk to but don't anymore are doing good and that life is going well for them <3
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nervousimposter · 11 months
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Eddie started finding notes in his locker his sophomore year. The first couple of them, he just tossed without reading. He didn’t need to read what those asshole bullies wanted to say about him. But curiosity won out after two weeks of constant notes and he finally opened one. It was the single most impactful thing he’d ever read. 
I think you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. 
He kept that note. And every other note he got from that point on. If anyone were to ask Eddie what he regretted most in his life, it would be those two weeks of notes he tossed without reading. Ten slips of paper with unknown writing that he wishes he could get back. Add them to his ‘mystery boys notes’ box. And he was a mystery, the note writer. Anonymous. Unknown. Impossible to catch. 
Eddie held out for a month. A whole month before he decided to stage a stake out. He watched his locker like a hawk. In between classes, during classes, lunch, after school and even one absolutely horrible day where he came in an hour before school started. But the mystery boy had to be invisible. He never saw anyone approach his locker but his daily note was always there. And Eddie; poor, unfortunate, infatuated Eddie dealt with mystery boys’ notes from ‘82 to ‘85. Four agonizing years of the most heart-warming, loving notes. 
I wish I was as brave as you.
Did you change your shampoo? Your hair looked so soft today.
God, your eyes have to be the biggest fucking eyes I’ve ever seen. So pretty.
I like how long your hair is getting. 
Saw you walking down the hall today and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone more. 
They started cute. Compliments here and there, even a doodle every once in a while. Hearts and smiley faces. But as the months and years went by, the mystery boy got deeper. Confessions and secrets. 
I think if I had a different dad, we would’ve been best friends.
Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never talked to?
I dream about us. 
I’m a boy. I’m sorry.
I want to hold your hand. Those rings are something else. 
I saw you trying to catch me. Adorable.
I wish I could take you on a date. Not give a shit what my dad would say or what people would think. 
I wish I could be brave enough to talk to you. 
You’re still the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.
I’m graduating this year. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you. I think I’m going to try to figure out a way to keep dropping these off next year. I don’t want you to forget about me.
The notes didn’t continue when the school year started. Eddie was embarrassed to admit he cried that first night. He wasn’t sure how the mystery boy was going to be able to get the notes to him but he fully believed it was going to happen. He went five weeks with no daily note in his locker. And then, it showed up on a Monday. He almost missed it, the tiny slip of paper. 
Sorry this took so long. Had to figure out how I was going to sneak these in here. I don’t think I’ll be able to call you pretty every day of the week this time around but I’m going to try my best! 
And mystery boy was right. The notes were always there on Monday. Just Monday. But Eddie didn’t complain. One note a week after five weeks of nothing almost had his heart bursting from his chest. It also narrowed down his search. Sort of. Mystery boy was either coming in on those Mondays to drop off the note, sneaking in on the weekends when the school was empty OR after school on Fridays. And look, he’s failed to graduate high school two times in a row now but he wasn’t stupid. Did it take him three months after the notes to start again for him to realize who it was? Yes but to be fair, for two of those months it was Eddie wallowing in denial. 
Five weeks into school was when he restarted Hellfire. Three weeks before that was when he brought in those new little freshman sheepies. The same freshman sheepies that got picked up by Steve Harrington. Steve Harrington who graduated last year. Steve Harrington who he catches staring at him from his beemer in the parking lot every Friday night before he takes the kiddies home. Steve who he categorizes as someone who is so far out of his league that it just couldn’t be him. But it’s been three months and there isn’t any other former Hawkins high student running around in or near the school. And now that Eddie’s almost certain Steve has been mystery boy these past few years, he can’t wait. He’s been in love with a figure made out of slips of paper for four years and his nonexistent patience has truly run thin.  
He calls for a break 15 minutes before they normally end their sessions. Tells the boys he needs to run to the bathroom and almost sprints out the door. His locker sits in the hallway just around the corner of the drama room. The door closing shut echos through the empty hallways, alongside the squeaks coming from his shoes as he hustles towards his locker. He freezes as soon as he turns the corner. 
Steve probably only had 30 seconds after hearing the door open and shut to process what he was going to do. He could’ve run or hid, maybe pretend like he just needed the bathroom while he waited. But Eddie watched him pause as they made eye contact instead. Watched as Steve looked him up and down. Watched him relax and lean back against the lockers behind him with a lazy smirk. His arm slowly moved up and Eddie could see a slip of paper held between his fingers. Steve didn’t break eye contact with him at all as he proceeded to shove the paper between the vents of his locker. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Staring. Broken when Steve pushed himself off the wall and walked towards him. He didn’t stop. Side stepped around Eddie before they could collide. A faint brush of his fingers along the back of his hand as he walked past him. And Eddie just watched him pass. Just like he watched him slip that note in his locker, he watched Steve walk back down the hall and out the front doors.
He waited only five seconds after the doors closed behind Steve before he jogged over to his locker. Grabbed the note and shoved it into his pocket before running back over to the drama room. Told the guys that they stopped at a decent spot and would meet again next Friday. Walked with them to the parking lot to head home. To catch a glimpse of Steve. And there he was, sitting in his beemer, staring again. This time though, Eddie smiled at him. He smiled at him and pulled the note out of his pocket. Opened it right there in the parking lot while he stared back at Steve. It only took him a few seconds to glance down to read. And as soon as he did, he threw his head back and laughed. Cackled really. He looked back at the beemer and saw Steve with the widest grin. Watched him lift his fingers off the steering wheel and wiggle them at him before he started pulling out of the lot. He looked back down at the note in his hand and chuckled again. Who knew Steve Harrington knew DnD well enough to draw a perfect rendition of an eight sided dice?
Wanna go on a d8? - Steve Harrington xxx-xxx-xxxx
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whimsyprinx · 1 year
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sometimes I come close to telling people we should stop being friends but I do think that’s the devil and the rsd talking
#whimsy whispers#I do believe I’m in the early stages of a spiral#but like how can I not be?#I mentioned in now deleted posts that most of my relationships feel strained or like they’re falling apart and idk how to fix them and#I feel like maybe people also are thinking we just shouldn’t be friends anymore#maybe I’m wasting peoples time by trying to fix friendships that aren’t like working out#I feel like I’m dialing at friendship and I feel like all aside from two or three friendships are just going to end anyways so maybe I#should just go ahead and end them anyways but they’ll only hurt me more#I wish people just hated me or would tell me that they don’t want to talk or be friends or something so I don’t have to sit here wondering#if I did something wrong/what i did wrong and trying to fix things when idk how to anymore#I want to disappear#I’m already disappearing from peoples lives so I may as well disappear entirely#it’s so funny because people like to go ‘oh you’re doing so well’ ‘you’ve grown so much from last year’ no I haven’t#I still feel like you all hate me and tnat no mattter how much I try and try and try to reach out that I’m only bothering you#reassurance means nothing especially when nothing changes#you can tell me we’re friends and you care and want to hear from me but like when there’s still radio silence afterwards those words don’t#mean much#I just want to be someone people want on their lives I keep saying it and I will keep on saying it I jsut want to feel wanted and I don’t#my best friend in the whole world doesn’t even feel like she wants me in her life at this point and I just don’t know what to do I feel like#I don’t have anyone#I feel like when people speak to me it’s conditional like they’re only talking to me because they’re a no one else at the moment#I will never be anyone’s first or second of fifth choice#it hurts so bad feeling like this and the feeling never goes away and idk if it got any better than before either
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earthtooz · 4 months
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x : MY DILUC, MY EVERYTHING :*+゚
in which: you tell diluc that klee finds him 'too boring' to be your boyfriend. he can't help but feel like she's right.
warnings: 1.3k words, insecure diluc who needs a little reassurance, mostly dialogue, klee being cute but also a menace, so much fluff with a dash of angst.
a/n: i have not posted anything in so long, but i wanted this to be my first fic of 2024 because i love diluc <3 i hope you all enjoy this little fic!
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“What do you mean Mr Diluc is your boyfriend?” Klee asks, tilting her head to the side with an inquisitive look in her eyes as you bend down to her height.
“I mean that Mr Diluc is my boyfriend. My partner. We’ve been together for years now.” 
“You mean that Mr Diluc, right?” She raises a tiny hand in the direction where the red-haired in question stands. He’s immersed in conversation with Kaeya and Jean, but from one glance you can tell the estranged brothers are up to no good. Or rather, that Kaeya is having the time of his life provoking your partner.
“That’s the one. I think he’s the only one, Klee.”
Her pointer finger then comes up to her chin in contemplation, and her breath of contemplation materialises as a small cloud, condensating in the winter chill. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“Why is he your boyfriend?”
“Well, why wouldn’t he be?”
“No offence to Mr Diluc, but he’s so cold and boring!” She cries, clenching her fists to her chest, as if being ‘boring’ was a crime to humanity. “And he never smiles. He should smile more but I would find him scarier like that… so maybe he should stay the way he is: a total gloomy bum bum!”
You can’t help but laugh at her honest statement, muffling the noise with your hand. She blinks at you and wonders what she said that made you laugh, but you simply tell her that it’s nothing.
“Maybe, but I love that ‘gloomy bum bum’ just the way he is.”
“But… why? Y/n is so kind and knows how to smile! Mr Diluc is too sad and boring for you.”
Over the course of your relationship with the wine monopolist, you were met with resistance from various people who believed they wanted ‘the best’ for him. These were including, butand not limited to, businessmen, his admirers, and old aristocrats with wealth on the brink of collapsing. You never let their passive aggressiveness get to you, their comments burned to ashes by the way Diluc lights the way for you with his undying flames. 
Yet hearing a child, who has no real grip of the world beyond explosions and how not to blow up Monstadt, explain that Diluc shouldn’t be with you because he doesn’t know how to smile is… unbelievable. Her intentions are nothing but pure for her knowledge of the world has not yet been tainted by the nuance of human behaviour. As refreshing as it feels to have her support, any insults you hear about Diluc are unpleasant to hear. Though she may not hold any malice, perhaps her judge of character needs to be deepened.
“Sometimes, the coldest people are really the warmest,” you begin, gently wrapping her scarf around her neck. “Mr Diluc is one of those people.”
“Really?”
“Warmer than a fireplace, or a Pyro Crystalfly, or Jumpty Dumpty.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yes, but please don’t go blowing one up just to see how warm it can be. Jean already told you about the animals hibernating during winter, you shouldn���t go disturbing them.”
She tucks her hands behind her back, eyes downcast and ears flopped.
“Do you remember when Albedo took you to Dragonspine and when you melted a chunk of ice, crystalflies flew out of it?”
“They were so pretty and became super warm! I wish I caught one of them, but they flew away too quickly.”
“Mr Diluc is just like that ice with the fireflies. You just need to warm up to him and when you do, he can be one of the best people you’ll ever meet.”
“Will he fly away too?”
“You could keep an eye on him and find out.”
She nods, determination alighting in her eyes with the new task you assign her. Although you’re pretty positive she won’t ever succeed with it, you’re just happy you’ve found a way to show Klee that your lover isn’t as terrible as she deems. A flash of familiar red hair appears in your periphery.
“Dear?” He calls, capturing your attention. “Shall we head into the tavern now? It’s too cold to stay out here.”
Sparing one last glance at Klee who regards your partner with fire in her eyes, you can’t help but smile at the pure innocence in her heart. With a ruffle of her hair as goodbye, you take Diluc’s hand and stand, waving goodbye to the rest of the group before heading in the direction of Angel’s Share. Shuddering, you sink deeper into the wool of your coat and the warmth of his Pyro Vision, a perfect combat to the winter frost that’s covered Monstadt.
“You know,” you begin when both of you have arrived at the empty tavern and the red-haired has a fire started in the corner. He urges you to continue with a soft ‘hum’. “The conversation I had with Klee just won’t leave my head.”
“Oh? What’d she say?”
Sitting down on a cold stool, you keep your gaze on him as he walks behind the counter. It seems like he’s preparing drinks and snacks for you: some cheese, crackers, and grapes.
“First of all, she only found out today that I was dating you.”
“Oh? Jean or Albedo haven’t told her before?”
“I guess neither of us appear that much in conversation together. But she refused to believe it at first, being like ‘you mean that Mr Diluc?’, ‘why is he your boyfriend?’,” you laugh. “She thought that you were too gloomy to be with me and that I should be with someone who knows how to smile.”
His cheese knife halts, the sound of metal meeting wood slicing through the atmosphere. However, you’re too engrossed in retelling the story to notice the way he freezes.
“How silly. Kids really have the wildest presumptions and thoughts to match.”
Diluc continues preparing the food, stiff hands moving along the counter. You don’t say more than that, saving further conversation for when he’s done. As he sets the arrangement of crackers, cheese, and grapes down, it’s accompanied by a heavy sigh.
“What if… she’s right?” Asks the winery owner, voice no louder than a whisper.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I did, but I don’t understand why you think that way too.”
“Well, smiling isn’t my strong suit anymore and I’ve been told by the knights that the children find my expression too scary.”
“You know anyone can smile, right?” You ask jovially. “It’s not like a statistical impossibility-“
“It’s not just that,” he interjects sharply. Your smile fades, acknowledging Diluc’s sombre expression that clarified he wasn’t joking around like you thought. However, seeing the change in your attitude sobered him and that sharp glance fades, turning into something remorseful and softer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that.”
“No no, it’s my fault for not taking you seriously. Please, go on.”
“I’m quite boring, you know.” He fiddles with the ends of his leather gloves. “Did you never think that maybe what Klee said could be correct?”
“Never because she’s not correct. Honestly, Diluc, after all these years of being together and hearing what some people have to say about us, I never thought you’d think like this.” 
He casts his gaze downwards. “Because those people don’t know me like you do.” 
Two hands come up to cup his cheeks, gently directing him to look up at you and meet your kind expression. All inhibitions he had melt away at the sight of your smile.
“I can only hope they never do,” you reply simply, confidence lacing your words. 
Being with him is not easy. He is a busy man, one who manages the entirety of Monstadt’s wine business during the day and takes to the shadows to look after your beloved city at night. Yet, despite working with the sun and moon, he still gives all of him to you. For as long as Diluc will allow it, you hope to be the only person he’ll pick baskets of grapes with, play slow games of chess with, and freely lay out his convictions to. 
You’ll be damned to give up your spot beside him without a fight.
Diluc doesn’t believe he deserves the same. “You’re too patient with me. I’ve let you down too much for you to be this forgiving,” he grabs your wrists and gently knocks his forehead against yours. “I can’t give you everything you want.”
“You’re my Diluc, you already are everything.”
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© EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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I'm at work rn, and I'm completely burnt out. Can you create where Mc is burnt-out and is still being asked to do favors by others, but still tries their best. And Vil, Malleus, or Leona thwarts off all the people annoying Mc? Sorry if I asked it weird, I have never requested anything before and don't know how to ask.😓
Leona Kingscholar:
You’re getting scolded by Leona first and foremost. The fact you even agree to do simple tasks for others when they’re fully capable of doing it themselves annoyed him, but he generally kept his mouth shut, at least depending on the request. Seeing you push yourself to your limits for the sake of other people is what really grated his nerves, especially when they lacked gratitude and continued to ask for more as if they were testing your limits. He didn’t often get involved on your behalf because he saw you as fully capable of making your own decisions, but it seemed you were perfectly fine being taken advantage of and that wasn’t sitting well with him. His words are harsh, to the point, a clear threat of what will happen if he sees one more person approach you with anything even resembling a favor.
Malleus Draconia:
If Malleus is willing to use his scary boyfriend privilege for anything, it would be against those trying to take advantage of your kind heart. He had always admired it about you, though he worried about the level of naïveté you showed when it came to helping others; these things always had a price, and he wished it wasn’t always at your expense. Malleus shoos them away like they’re nothing more than annoying birds, the menacing smile remaining on his face as he led you away before they could attempt to appeal to you. He did have to question why, even despite looking exhausted, you still wanted to try so hard for others, prepared to forbid you from accepting extra requests until your own work life had calmed down a bit.
Vil Schoenheit:
Vil is another person who really preferred letting you handle your own business, only stepping in when you asked for his opinion or he really thought you were acting out of line. This was one of the times he couldn’t bite his tongue, hoping you didn’t take it personally when he delivered his honest opinion that you were acting foolish by taking on more than you could handle. He understood that at times you were too nice for your own good but that made you a target for lazy people who couldn’t fulfill their own tasks and instead wanted to push the stress onto you. It was all gain for them and no reward for you, which Vil holds a finger up to silence you when you attempt to fight back that just helping was a reward in itself. He didn’t hide the disdain on his face when he confronted the next person attempting to get a favor from you, telling them to do the work themselves as you were on vacation at the moment.
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olivianyx · 4 months
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OMGG I JUST GOT RESULTS WITHOUT BEATING MYSELF UP WITH ROUTINES 😭 + RANT ✨
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HEYY LUVS! I JUST WANNA SHARE MY RESULTS I MANIFESTED WITHIN 2-3 DAYS! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE MY BEST YEAR Y'ALL ✋AND GUESS WHAT I DID? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. NUH-UH. PERIODT.
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⚠ LONG POST AHEAD, SWEARING ⚠
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WHAT I MANIFESTED:
🪄 PASSING MY FRESHMAN YEAR WITH HIGH SCORES
🪄 MY FAMILY BOUGHT A NEW APARTMENT WHICH WERE PREPARING TO MOVE IN 3 WEEKS
🪄 ME GETTING INTO THE VOID STATE 😭 AND MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN! (DAYUM GETTING INTO THE VOID IS DEFO VERY EASY OMGG)
🪄 GETTING LESS ANXIOUS LATELY!
🪄 MY GASTRITIS AND ULCERITIS GETTING CURED
🪄 GETTING MORE COMPLIMENTS IN MY UNI!
🪄 GETTING TALLER! I WENT FROM 5'3" TO 5'7" IN 2 DAYS 😭😭
🪄 GETTING DREAMS OF ME SHIFTING TO MY WR 🥺 (ACTUALLY RESPAWNING LOL, AS THIS THING IS REALLY CONTROVERSIAL IN HERE, PLEASE DON'T GET ME CANCELLED- I'M DOING DEATHLESS RESPAWNING ✋)
🪄 MY MIND IS SURPRISINGLY CALM 😌 THERE'S STILL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THO (THOSE ARE ANNOYING ASS BITCHES) BUT I JUST IGNORE EM LIKE I IGNORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL 🗿
🪄 GOT MANY CONFESSIONS TOO 😭 AND I REJECTED EM ALL, CUS I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ✋🗿 JK
🪄 GETTING COOL CLOTHES THAT MY MOM DENIED A LOTTA TIMES! (ACTUALLY I'VE ORDERED EM BUT STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED TO MY ADDRESS YET LOL)
🪄 MY CRUSH BECOMING CLOSE TO ME HEHE 🤭 LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME MUCH, BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN TOO CLOSE TO ME AND ALWAYS WANNA BE WITH ME LOL, 3 DAYS BACK SHE AND I WALKED HOME TOGETHER, WHILE WE GRABBED SOME SNACKS, SPOKE ABT EACH OTHER AND ALL (I FELT LIKE BEING IN A SHOUJO MANGA 😩)
🪄 A NEW PHONE! THAT SAMSUNG GALAXY S22 😩
I MANIFESTED EVERYTHING WITHIN 3 DAYS 😭 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, JUST. 3. FUCKING. DAYS. GODDAMMIT.
HOW I DID IT:
JUST FULFILLED IT IN MY IMAGINATION
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YEP, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. I LIVED IN THE 4D REALITY, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3D AT ALL. OK LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR Y'ALL SO JUST PAY ATTENTION FROM HERE ONWARDS.
🪄 SUPPOSE SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE OR UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR 3D. WHO'S THE CAUSE FOR THAT? YOU. 'BUT I DIDN'T IMAGINE OR THINK OF THESE 😭' BABY, YOU'RE THE SOLE CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE SOLUTION. THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO THIS.
🪄 AS WE ALL KNOW, 3D IS A MIRROR. RIGHT? WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PERSPECTIVE EVERYTHING WILL BE REFLECTED. SO WHY NOT THINK THE WAY YOU WANT SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME? GET IT.
🪄 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE 3D, CHANGE YOUR 4D FIRST. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO HOW YOUR DESIRED SELF WOULD SEE THE WORLD. KEEP DWELLING IN IT. IF THE 3D SHOWS UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, DON'T FUCKING GET TRIGGERED. GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION AND DENY YOUR SENSES.
🪄 EVERYTIME YOU SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN THE 3D, GO 'BRUHH THIS IS MY OLD STORY, I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT, THIS IS JUST FAKE' AND MOVE ON. DISTRACT YOURSELF. CUS THE 3D WORLD WHICH YOU SEE IS AN ILLUSION, IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S YOUR CREATION, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CREATED? IT'S ALREADY IN CONTROL. YOU ONLY GOTTA REALISE YOUR GODSELF. YOU ARE THE CREATOR, NOT THE CREATION. STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING YOURSELF.
🪄 I GET IT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED BETWEEN LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND NON DUALISM. EVEN I WAS, BUT SLOWLY I REALISED THAT WE'RE ALL NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. VICTIMIZING OURSELVES IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. IRONIC RIGHT?
🪄 THOSE THOUGHTS, ANXIETY, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN YOUR PHYSICAL REALM. YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY, YOUR EGO EVERYTHING IS NO REAL, WE ASSUME IT TO BE. WE'RE ARE SHAPELESS, FORMLESS, WE'RE NOTHING! AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME. CUS EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ONE THING, I AM.
🪄 K Y'ALL MIGHT BE SUPER CONFUSED, WHAT I'M TRYNA INFUSE IN YOUR BRAINS. SO WHAT YOU DO IS, LIVE IN YOUR 4D.HOW? IMAGINATION. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR 3D, GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION, AFFIRM OR VISUALISE. ANYTHING IS FINE BTW. JUST STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED.
🪄 STOP RELYING ON METHODS, FUCK THEM. JUST BE. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. JUST STOP, SURRENDER, STOP FIGHTING, STOP TRYING SO HARD WHEN YOUR ALREADY IT. SO GO LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION, FULLY SURRENDER. DO THINGS WHICH YOU LIKE. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.
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LIKE AREN'T YOU TIRED? TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN CREATIONS? YOU CREATED THEM, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WHATEVER. TELL ME HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LIVE THIS BULLSHIT LIFE? YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. SO LISTEN UP, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, OR DAYDREAM, ZONE OUT, WHATEVER. ALL I DID WAS DO THIS MEDITATION IN THE MORNING, WENT ABOUT MY DAY WATCHING JUJUTSU KAISEN LMAO. THEN RANDOMLY AFFIRM, LIVED IN MY 4D, NEVER PAYED ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO MY 3D, CUS I'M GOD. I REALLY LOVE VISUALISING, SO I PUT ON A SONG AND START DAYDREAMING IN MY ROOM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT. ALSO, I DID SATS BEFORE GOING TO BED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DID FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS, AND GOT WHAT EVER I WANT. ALSO I MADE A CUSTOM TAPE TOO (IT'S A GENERAL SELF CONCEPT ONE) I LISTENED TO IT FOR 30 MINS AND JUST WENT ABOUT MY DAY THINKING I HAD WHATEVER I FUCKING DESIRE, CUS IT'S ALL MY CREATIONS AND I HAVE IT ALREADY. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET, IT'S ALREADY IN ME.
LUV YOU, BYE 💋
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