#i was about to go “no true scotsman” but that felt like a bad faith argument to make | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

demoisverysexy · 3 years

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An Open Letter to the Person who Blocked Me for Being Mormon

For context:

If you’re reading this, I hope it finds you well.

This letter is mostly for me, so I can get my feelings out. I’ve already talked about this with a few of my friends, and I’m feeling better than I was than when you blocked me. I’m still upset. Mostly because of general trends I see on tumblr of hatred for Mormons. A lot of it comes from ignorance and misunderstanding. Some of it comes from a place of genuine hurt that can’t go unaddressed. I don’t want to be dismissive of those who have faced trauma at the hands of my church. I am one of those people, and I know how deeply pain associated with my church can be. After our interaction, I felt that talking about it would help me process this.

Before I go on, I must be clear that this is not an attempt to get you to unblock me. As nice as it would be to be able to see your blog again – you’re very witty, and I enjoy your content! – I can live without it. This is more a response to the trend on tumblr specifically of hatred against Mormons, and assuming that they’re all bad people who are complicit in every single bad thing that the church does. You just happened to force me to be a little introspective about my church and my relation to it. Thank you for that.

First, however, I would like to clear up some misconceptions:

Your initial joke that prompted me to tell you I was a Mormon was a joke about Mormons and polygamy. The largest two organizations that can be classified as “Mormon,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the Community of Christ (which incidentally allows for gay marriage and has female clergy, though I am of the LDS sect), both disavow polygamy. There are other, smaller offshoot Mormon groups who do still practice this, which is where horror stories of polygamists marrying teenagers arise. These people are also Mormons, though I wish they weren’t, in the same way that problematic Christian groups are Christian, though many Christians wish they weren’t.

I do recognize that mainstream Mormonism has been labeled as a cult by many people, though the reasons people provide generally don’t hold up. Often the proof that people provide of my church’s cult-like nature is to take note of corruption that can be found in almost every church. These issues – such as racism, homophobia, and misogyny, to name a few – while real and important to address do not a cult make. Sometimes the proof is to point towards practices that are demonized in my church, but are practiced in other religions with no comment, or even celebration. Other times people will point to their own experiences with toxic church congregations, and while those issues are very real, they are by no means universal. My experience growing up Mormon was a lucky one in many ways. I personally don’t think that most people who study my church from an academic vantage point would call it a cult. I would consult them on this matter. After all, someone in a cult is rather hard-pressed to be able to tell whether they are in one or not.

Another point often levied against Mormonism is how it leaves its queer members with religious trauma due to its homophobic teachings. I understand this well. I have experienced deep religious trauma associated with my political stances in favor of LGBTQ+ rights (though that wasn’t the whole story). I won’t go into detail about this right now, but suffice it to say, I had a very traumatic time on my mission that led me to a very dark place, and ended with me contemplating choices I would never be able to take back. I’m fine now of course, but I carry those memories with me.

So why would I stay despite all this? Is it because I’m brainwashed? You would have to ask a psychologist about that, but I would say probably not. I knew, and know now, that the ways I was being treated were unfair and wrong. I don’t have time to go point by point to address every grievance I or anyone else has with my church and explain my position on it, as much as I would like to clear the air once and for all on this topic so there is no misunderstanding. Here’s the reasoning that has kept me here so far:

I think that every person of faith must, at some point, deal with the problematic aspects of their church’s history and doctrine. This comes with the territory. Whether it be disturbing stories in scripture, imperialist tendencies, doctrines that chafe against us, or problematic leaders, no person of faith is exempt from wrestling with the history that accompanies their faith. I have studied my church’s history in depth. Many of the horror stories I heard were provably false. Many were true. Where does that leave me?

I believe that God is bigger and better than us. We make terrible, awful mistakes all the time. But I don’t think that makes God less willing to work with us. If anything, I think it means he wants to help us more. He wants to help us move past our histories and become better. My church has a long way to go in this regard. For too long we have been silent when it mattered, and people have been wounded by our silence. Or even the words we have said out loud! If you look at my Mormonism tag on my blog, you will see some examples of what I am talking about. I have been wounded by the things my church has said and not said. It hurts awfully, and I ache for those who have been wounded more deeply than I.

But at the same time, I cannot deny the healing my faith has brought me. Whatever problems my church has – and it has many, deep and pressing issues – it is because of my faith that I am the person I am today. I can draw a straight line from my religion to the positions I hold today. Because I am a Mormon, I became a Marxist. Because I am a Mormon, I became nonbinary. Because I am a Mormon, I became a leftist. I cannot ignore that my religion, flawed as it may be, has led me to where I stand now. I am at the intersection of the hurt and healing the church offers. It is a difficult line to walk. But I hope that in walking it, I can bring healing and love to those who hurt in the ways I do. To let them know that they are not alone, and that they have a friend who can help them wherever they choose to go.

Yes I am queer. Yes I am a Mormon. I am here because I am trying to fix things. If at some point in the future I realize that I cannot change things, perhaps I will leave. I hope it does not come to that. And things are changing. They have changed before, and they can change now. I am confident that my God is willing to lead my church where it needs to go. I hope I can help speed things along. We shall see.

But spreading unequivocal hatred and disdain for Mormons does not help those of us who are Mormon who are trying to fix things. Yes, those who have left Mormonism due to trauma need a safe place to be away from that, and acknowledging the church’s many faults can be helpful to those people. I myself have criticized my church quite vocally. But refusing to listen to the stories of those of us who choose to stay, telling others that we are evil or stupid or what have you, is also quite traumatic to us. We are people too, with thoughts and feelings. It is easy to dismiss us out of hand if you assume we aren’t.

I try to be open about my religion and political stances on my tumblr. See for yourself: It’s a mix of Mormonism, LGBTQ+ activism, Marxism, and pretty much every other leftist political position you can find. Along with all the furry stuff, of course. But despite all this, I am still terrified every time someone follows me to tell them I am Mormon. More than I am to tell them that I’m queer. Tumblr is not representative of how things work in the “real world,” of course, but I have received hatred for being a Mormon there as well. And it’s mostly other Christians. So on the one hand I’m hated by LGBTQ+ folks, on the other hand I’m hated by my church for being queer, and on the third hand (as apparently I have three hands), I am hated by other Christians. I do not face hatred to the same degree from other Christians. I saw it most on my mission. But still, it exists.

(Incidentally, Evangelicals, who you seem to have problems with, and perhaps rightly so, though I have not done a study of the matter myself, largely despise Mormons, from what I have heard. Something to consider.)

I want allies. I want help. I want understanding. If I am to push back against bigotry in my church, I need your help. I need everyone’s help. Fighting bigotry wherever we see it is a worthy pursuit, I think. And if we can succeed, we can make the world a better, safer happier place. I want to fight off the ghosts that haunt my church. You don’t have to fight them with me, but I would appreciate it if I could have your support. It would make my job much easier.

We aren’t enemies. At least, I don’t think you’re my enemy. We both have been hurt by homophobia and bigotry. We live in a capitalist hellscape where police brutality and racism are on the rise. Fascism is looming over the political backdrop, along with the ongoing threat of ecological disaster. I think we would be better off helping each other than going after each other. I ask that you please listen to us when we say you are hurting us. The Mormons you blocked knowingly followed you, an openly queer person who calls out racism and bigotry and pedophilia. Yet you assume we are in favor of those things. Someone can at once be part of an institution while recognizing it’s flaws. (Aren’t we both Americans? Why not move if we hate it so much?) And perhaps we have used the “No true Scotsman” fallacy to justify why we stay. I don’t believe I have. I don’t feel I need to.

I hope that you consider what I’ve said here. I hope we can work together. And I hope that no matter what, you find peace wherever you end up.

Yours truly,

Demo Argenti

#religion #leftism #mormonism #LGBTQ stuff #marxism #racism #misogyny #feminism #homophobia #queerstake #shouting into the void #ok to rb

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brydeswhale · 3 years

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I’ve blocked a shit-ton of blogs in the time I’ve been on tumblr, but other than the spam blogs, etc, probably the main blogs I’ve blocked have been Stiles fans who think that sending anonymous hate is going to change my mind about their fave. Multiple blogs get blocked, which assures me that either there’s a small minority of Stiles fans working together as a group, or one extremely rude, entitled, and very, very sick person who has multiple blogs so when they get blocked on one, they can go on another.

And to frame this person, they started off slow.

Little “oh did you know, I have this unprovable, or decontexted “fact” about Tyler Posy”, and following it up with repeated harassment, and further abuse, and then really obnoxious shit. I started getting these when I started talking about how much I liked Scott, a FICTIONAL character, who is played by Tyler Posy, real person. I mean, obviously parts of the brain aren’t having a good time there.

And like I said, this is either a small group, or one disturbed person, BUT. The fact that I’m looking at my block page, checking to see what’s racist, what’s spam, and what’s just someone I didn’t feel like talking to ever again because they said they liked Seaworld, the majority of non-bot blocks being associated with “oh, the Stiles anon”, is an indication of a deep issue with the fandom itself and with the entitled, racist, and, frankly, ugly side of the Teen Wolf fandom.

The show has been over for three years by now(I believe, it might have been four), and this person, a STILES fan, is STILL throwing their tantrum over only getting most of what they wanted, instead of all of it.

And that’s not just annoying. It’s fucking scary. If this was someone in my community, I would be really worried about their fixation. And I don’t think I wouldn’t notice.

Someone in the Teen Wolf fandom, someone in the Stiles fandom, must know who this person is, or at least suspect them. And instead of helping them, instead of, you know, being a good citizen and helping everyone in the fandom, they’ve chosen to stay silent and complicit.

And before someone “no true Scotsman”‘s this thing, I have to say, I do not care if it’s only one person or a group of ppl. Because it’s a culmination of the entitlement that section of the fandom feels to own all of it. We can’t write fic about Scott without getting harassed, we can’t write our own meta, we can’t exist in this fandom without getting harassed. I’m not talking anon harassment, I mean supposed “big name” fans sea-lioning and pushing their weight around. The stiles fans think they own the fandom, all of it. They have always felt this way, and done their best to make everyone else feel unwelcome, and pushed them out. They have always felt this way, and have had temper tantrums over it ever since the first season.

And honestly, when some little jerk walks into my fic post, and starts making faces and complaining because I’m writing it according to my view of the series, I’m not going to buy “oh, it just happened to be recommended to me”, because in every interaction I have had with the stiles fandom, they have acted with bad faith.

They have furthered that bad faith by refusing to work to silence the aggressive, entitled, racist people in their fandom. They have furthered it by flooding the tumblr and AO3 tags on teen wolf with false, bigoted fanfics, fan art, image manipulations, meta, and more. They have furthered it by playing the victim when we, justifiably, don’t want to take their shit. They have furthered it by allowing this particular harasser or group of harassers, to remain unnamed and unabated in their midst.

Also, like, watch another show? Read the Dresden Files, or the Anita Blake series. In fact, you’d love the Anita Blake series, it’s like the porn filled mirror universe of Teen Wolf. You’ll love it.

#teen Wolf fandom problems #anti-stiles #altho his fans actually apparently go in that tag all the time judging by the tantrums they throw on my posts #tbh Anita Blake is just up their alley #the writer loves abusers and racism and misogyny as much as they do #she’s also a homophobe who fetishizes MLM #so that should keep them happy as well

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