#i wanted the fact mike was a pet to be kind of obvious cause i think it makes the whole thing even STUPIDER and that’s so funny to me

[spacedikut]

An Essay on The Blessing of a Blizzard (basically just love for ur writing)

Ok this story popped into my head today and made me smile because it’s just so soft and the miscommunication and pining and auhghhhhh. Sorry i'm not as eloquent as you in my praise but i hope this suffices

ANYWAYS

“Mike. His name is Mike, and Spencer hates him.” right from the start we’re wondering why Spencer is showing such a strong negative emotion towards this guy- this stranger we don’t know yet. Spencer’s not harmless, he definitely has enough bite to shut someone down but we never see him usually this judgmental or abrasive so this is such an attention grabber.

Then in classic Spencer fashion we get the rundown of Mike’s background and name origins, but then transition to Spencer’s almost childish jealousy and hatred of this guy just because he’s stolen your heart. 

I’ll be honest and say that when I read the list of things the reader shares with Mike, I was a little confused and thought “he seems weird” BUT not enough that I would suspect anything less than what’s at face value… The con is still going on. 

“That business is ripping Spencer’s heart out of his chest, apparently.” we’re back to dramatic and angsty Spence and I love it and of COURSE it doesn’t matter, right? Because “Mike’s probably ugly, anyway” asldkjlakfj Spencer you are such a child and it’s adorable

And this line “Fuck Mike. Really, fuck him.”  right before the transition is just perfect. I think I laughed out loud (probably too loud) 

The detail of Garcia’s “bejewelled hands” idk I find that a really pretty little addition, I like all the details of Morgan and Emily looking pissed lol and then we’re back to childish petty Spence “All Spencer can think about is how Mike will have to suffer another day without you. He bites back a smile.”

The short interaction between Emily and Spencer and it’s so obvious Spencer is pining for you and she just smiles when mentioning Mike,,, and YES they’re all profilers but Spencer is being painfully clear he’s in love with you

Spencer catching your little expressions after getting off the call with Mike,,,, he cares so much for you (he’d probably fistfight Mike or at least step on his foot [accidentally obviously,,,] because this man wants your affection all to himself)

It’s such a Penelope idea to have a gingerbread house competition and I love her for it. <3 The little comment Morgan makes is sad for one second before you sweep in and protect Spencer and that makes my heart soft.

This entire little interaction is just,,, perfect “Spencer’s surely got whiplash, but you’re looking at him and smiling at him and him alone. He’s breathless at the sight, how you chose him and have literal stars in your eyes, yet all he can think is how undeserving he is of such a beauty. How undeserving anyone is, mostly Mike, to exist in the same reality as someone who puts the definition of beautiful to shame.

Spencer’s about to make the best damn gingerbread house the world has ever seen.”

And then “like a virus to a computer you completely wipe Spencer of all thoughts” is such a Spencer thought to have?? The computer reference? He’s such a small nerd

AND THEN your eyes watching him roll up his sleeves?? Sir i am looking respectfully…

All the tension and electricity between them during the building??? Amazing. The almost kiss? The Yearning? The eye contact and the puff of breath on his lips? The physical contact? 

AND THE GONG! What a Penelope find. It’s the best and most abrupt way to disrupt the scene and poor you and Spence because the moment is over. 

We’re back to classic Spencer and his the cogs in his brain turning- “Spencer can’t think about that fact too much. That could mean anything – dilated pupils don’t necessarily mean you’re in love. You could’ve gotten a good whiff of the gingerbread and felt hungry, or a song you really liked started playing from the playlist Penelope created. Or, most likely, Spencer thinks, you were thinking about someone else.”

Sad spence hours because now he’s confused and yearning and disappointed and conflicted about trying to kiss you and you trying to kiss him because MIKE exists and Spencer probably wants to throw Mike into the void if he could. 

This line is just adorable: “(He’s making this more dramatic than it needs to be, really, but he feels everything so deeply when it comes to you)” and the gingerbread sharing? How you give the piece back to him first? It’s so cute

The little tells that Spencer picks up on before you’re about to laugh is really genuinely sweet because he just wants to be with you all the time, he wants to know all of you and he’s paid as much attention as possible. 

And then Spencer’s embarrassed and a little sad but you’re laughing with him and everything’s okay. You kiss him and he meets Mike and all’s well that ends well <3

Ok asdklja;d i dont know if you’d actually like this but i feel like maybe?? Because its just endless praise for this story and the absolute genius of mike being a cat and the childish jealousy and the almost kiss and its adorable and i love it and you!! Okay spacey this is the end <3

#long post #people being nice to me #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i put off reading this because my heart simply cannot handle the pure joy i feel #i can’t thank you enough for doing this #like holy hell. HOLY HELL #i read this entire thing with my hands clasped to #my chest like i was CLUTCHING MY PEARLS #to put so much thought into something ive written is so mind blowing to me #and to send me such a lovely message that is BRIMMING WITH PRAISE I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH SERIOUSLY #I JDKAAKAKASSS AAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #this makes me think and consider my writing more than id like to but #god thank you for reading and writing this and sending it and #spending your valuable time on me and my stuff!!! #i wanted the fact mike was a pet to be kind of obvious cause i think it makes the whole thing even STUPIDER and that’s so funny to me #and just. GOD IM SO THANKFUL THANK YOU #am i screenshotting this and putting it in my lovely messages folder? yes #has this given me the motivation to get my uni work done and try to do some writing? yes #am i completely floored and so appreciative i don’t know what to do with myself? yes #thank you doesn’t feel good enough but #thank you #so much:( #submission

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did�� just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

#cass cries #omori #omori spoilers #more like cass goes CRAZY this is so long #also id dint proof read this sorry </3

[thefangirlingdead]

If you’re still taking Klave prompts then...what about a propsal a fic cause I be soft for that kind in content??! (Also you’re setting is BEAUTIFULLLLL and such a gift 💕)

FUCK, ANON. This destroyed me. I meant for this to be super sweet and short and it ended up being super fucking long and tooth-rotting cute. I hope you enjoy. 

(I also posted it on my AO3 because why not)

Downtime in the midst of a war, even if just for a few minutes is a gift. It doesn’t happen frequently, but when it does, it finds soldiers slipping into comfortable habits even though they know it’ll be short lived. During downtime, most of them can be found outside smoking or huddled in a tent playing poker, chatting and reminiscing, telling funny stories or weaving tales from back home. Tonight in particular is no different, and that’s how the question comes up, uttered by one of the fresh-faced privates who arrived just a couple of months after Klaus:

“What are you going to do when you get home?”

At first, nobody answers, and the question hangs heavy in the air because honestly, all of them have seen too much in the past few weeks and months to even think about such a question. They all know that their chances of returning home without any life altering scars (physically ormentally), let alone returning home at all are slim to fucking none. So for a split second, it’s silent among the men in the tent, all of them too afraid to say anything, afraid to hold on to the hope that they’ll make it out of here alive and afraid to tell the new guy that he probably won’t, either.

That is, until Klaus Hargreeves speaks up.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m planning on getting so fucked up that I can’t walk straight.”

And just like that, the tension breaks. A few soldiers chuckle while another one - Anderson, who is always quick to give Klaus shit - teases, “How is that any different than now, Hargreeves?”

“Touché,” Klaus calls, pointing at Anderson from across the circle with his cards, uncaring if anyone sees his hand, “But I’ll have you know, that I can walk just fine right now, thankyouverymuch.”

“You know what I mean,” Anderson taunts back, which earns a chuckle from Klaus.

“Oh Mike, you think you’ve seen me fucked up, but you’ve got no idea, darling,” Klaus teases in response. Although the pet names didn’t sit well with the other soldiers for the first month or so - they were in the 60’s, after all - Klaus uses them so much and with everyone, that they really don’t phase anyone anymore.

“Come on,” Klaus pushes then, “What about the rest of you? Don’t lie and tell me that you’re not daydreaming of going home, eating a nice home-cooked meal from your momma and settling down with your high school sweetheart to have three-point-five kids and a golden retriever.”

“I just really want to finish college,” Romero, another one of the younger privates pipes up at last, offering a shrug when all eyes dart to him instead of Klaus. “I wanted to be a teacher.”

“The home-cooked meal sounds nice,” Carmichael adds with a smile. His comment in particular earns a few teasing remarks from the men sitting around the circle - even Dave gets a couple of jabs in - but eventually, they all end up agreeing that yeah, even shitty diner food sounds pretty damn good right now.

Across the room, even Corporal Barnett chimes in at one point, muttering out, “The first thing I’m going to do when I get home is marry my girl,” which earns a few nods of agreement from his fellow soldiers. And that’s how, within just a few minutes, the poker game quickly goes forgotten in favor of soldiers sitting around in the tent, telling stories of back home and sharing their hopes and dreams for when they finally make it out of this hellhole.

And Klaus knows deep down, than most of them probably won’t make it back, but it doesn’t hurt to hold on to a little bit of hope, right? He almost nudges Dave with his elbow at that thought to ask him what his plans are, but as he turns to his right, Klaus notices, with a pang in his chest, that Dave is no longer sitting next to him. In fact, he isn’t even in the tent anymore.

It takes a little bit of searching, once Klaus manages to find a way to slip out unnoticed as well, but eventually, he finds Dave sitting alone on the edge of camp, barely illuminated by dim lights and accented by the cherry of his cigarette and a thin swirl of smoke that curls up over his head and disappears into the night. In a weird way, this has kind of become a routine for them, sneaking away from the others like this to have just a few moments alone. So when Klaus plops down next to Dave in the dirt, an unlit joint in one hand and a flask in the other, he knows that the other man is expecting him.

“So what’s your plan?” Klaus asks in lieu of a greeting, fishing a lighter out from the breast pocket of his jacket.

Dave turns to glance at Klaus in the dim light, offering him a small, albeit confused smile. He was definitely expecting Klaus, but judging by his reaction, he wasn’t anticipating his question. “What do you mean?”

Klaus uses his lighter to motion back to camp. “In there, everyone was talking about their plan once they get out of here,” he mutters around the joint, waving the lighter in the air as he talks, “You didn’t say what yours  is. So, indulge me, mi amor.”

Dave can’t help but chuckle at Klaus’ mannerisms and his fond pet name. “You noticed that…”

“I did.” Klaus pauses to light the joint, taking a long hit and holding the smoke in his lungs just long enough for it to begin to burn slightly before exhaling. Then, he leans in a little, enough to bump his shoulder against Dave’s. “So…”

“So…” Dave echoes, and Klaus can tell that he’s stalling, that he’s trying to figure out what to say, so he gives him a little leeway. He offers Dave the joint, which Dave accepts without question, taking a hit himself before finally speaking.

“I’m not sure, actually,” Dave admits at last. “I mean… as you know, I had just moved back in with my parents before I was drafted, so I - well, I would like to do some traveling, but -”

“No buts,” Klaus interrupts. He reaches for the joint, which Dave hands over, before continuing, “In a perfect world, would would you want to do, when you get home?”

Klaus is careful to say when. Not if. No, Dave will be going home. There is no if.

“In a perfect world?” Dave repeats, and Klaus simply nods in response. And Dave actually seems to think about it for a few quiet moments before answering, giving Klaus a chance to take another drag, exhaling upwards into the night sky, relishing in the feeling of his body relaxing with each hit.

“I want to move somewhere new,” Dave says at last, his voice soft and wistful. Far away. He gazes off into the night as he speaks, “Somewhere I’ve never been… far away from my hometown. Maybe, somewhere secluded with some land where we could just be.”

We.

The implication of the word isn’t lost on Klaus. In fact, he latches onto the word almost as soon as it leaves Dave’s lips, but before he can interject, Dave is continuing, as if he didn’t just drop a fucking bomb into the conversation.

“I mean, I suppose in a perfect world, it wouldn’t matter where we are, but I think somewhere quiet would be nice,” he muses, “Somewhere away from the city, but close enough if you wanted to have a night on the town, you know?”

Dave turns to look at Klaus then, and Klaus’ voice catches in his throat at the sight. He can’t find the words to say, and even if he could, he’s pretty sure he couldn’t speak right now if he wanted to. Instead, he just holds his joint tightly between his index finger and his thumb, staring at Dave with wide eyes.

When Dave just looks at him expectantly, though, as if anticipating a response, Klaus croaks out, “We?”

Dave smiles in response, and fuck, his smile is enough to bring Klaus to his knees, to light up a room, to melt his heart. It’s such a simple little thing, but it brings Klaus’ world crashing down around him and also makes him feel fucking invincible.

“Yeah, we,” Dave murmurs. “I mean… you said in a perfect world and well, in a perfect world, I’d want to build a home and start a life with the person I love.”

And god, Klaus is usually so good at masking his emotions, at appearing flippant and blasé about everything and hiding behind humor and crassness, but Dave’s words are so unexpected and disarming that they catch him off guard. Klaus has no control of his mouth when he simply just repeats, numb, “The person you love.”

Unfortunately, Klaus’ shock seems to give Dave the wrong idea and almost immediately, he begins to backpedal, his face falling. “Well, I mean, shit,Klaus. We haven’t really talked about it - what this is but, I mean… I thought it was obvious.”

I thought it was obvious. The words hit Klaus like a truck.

“That you love me,” Klaus mutters, his own voice sounding very far away in his own ears.

Klaus is no stranger to those words, but, well… he isn’t really used to people meaning them. Not like Dave appears to mean them right now. Sure, others have uttered those words to Klaus before, but never in the way that Dave says them.  They were gasped in moments of passion, or exclaimed when Klaus decided to be generous and share whatever he managed to score with an acquaintance at a party, or even muttered when he did a favor for one of his siblings when they were kids… but never like this.

Now, sitting here next to Dave, Klaus knows that this is different.

Dave clears his throat. “I do,” he says very matter-of-factly, but is quick to add, “But if you don’t feel the same way, it’s okay. I know it was forward of me to assume, and we haven’t even properly discussed what this is and -”

“I would like that,” Klaus says at last, his voice quiet when he interrupts Dave, before he can finish his thought. He really doesn’t know what else to say, and it’s shitty and awkward, but it’s a start.

Klaus takes a long drag of his joint to mask his nerves and give himself a moment to think while Dave struggles to catch up.

“You… you would?” Dave asks after a beat of silence, as if he can’t believe it.

“Yeah,” Klaus mutters, shrugging. “You know… a little house in the woods, maybe a couple of pets. A quiet life. It would be a nice change of pace.”

Dave swallows then, shifting to face Klaus a little better. Somehow, the conversation has turned into something much more than just daydreams, and it requires much more attention than they were previously giving it. “Well, if we make it out of here, I’ll make good on that, then,” he says at last, “If that’s what you want.”

And Klaus, never one to avoid humor in serious situations, mock gasps at Dave, a hand on his chest. “Davey, are you trying to make an honest man out of me?”

Apparently, it’s just what the doctor ordered. Dave laughs at that, the tension bleeding out of him. “Yeah, I think I am,” he mutters, and then, he’s reaching forward, his hand finding its place at the back of Klaus’ neck before they’re kissing. It’s nothing over-indulgent, just a brief press of lips in the dark, hyper aware of their peers not far from them, but it’s much needed.

When they part, Klaus grins up at Dave, his eyes glinting, even in the dim light. “I hope you know that when we get married, it’s going to be the wedding of the century.”

51 years, 7 months and 13 days later

Eventually, Dave makes good on his promise to Klaus. Although it happens about fifty years after he initially planned it - after he is catapulted into the future and forced to save the world alongside Klaus and his superpowered siblings - he makes good on his plan to move somewhere far away and secluded and start a life with the person he loves. He makes good on that promise to make an honest man out of Klaus Hargreeves, even though just the idea of it sounds like taming a wild animal.

It isn’t necessarily a small little house in the woods like they had initially discussed, but it is a secluded, modest place just a few hours outside of the city, their closest neighbor about a mile down the road. They find the place and move in almost a year after they save the world - a year after Klaus brings him to the future - and it’s everything that Dave wanted and then some. Granted, he never knew that he wanted to travel into to future to be with the man he loves, but he’s not surprised. There was always something special about Klaus, something that Dave knew that he’d follow him to the ends of the earth for.

Although, there was another part to that promise that Dave hasn’t addressed. It was unspoken, really, but he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since Klaus mentioned it only six months into knowing one another, six months into their time in Vietnam together.

When we get married, it’s going to be the wedding of the century.

Dave was certain that it was just a pipe dream back then, just wishful thinking, in a perfect world , but then suddenly, it’s 2020 and he’s buying a little house upstate with Klaus, and that little dream, that comment that Klaus made just a couple of years ago - or over 50 years ago, depending on how you look at it - seems a lot more realistic. It’s 2020, and Dave still has a hard time believing that gay marriage is legal. In fact, it takes Klaus dragging him to pride that first summer to truly convince him and show him just how much has changed.

Honestly, Dave has been planning on asking Klaus to marry him for a while, but it’s a lot easier said than done. Sure, he could just get down on one knee after a romantic night out, or maybe on their anniversary (Klaus loves the strange looks that he gets when he brags that they’ve been together for over fifty years) but that doesn’t seem good enough. No, Dave knows that Klaus is a man of grand gestures and has a flair for the dramatic, so he wants to do something big, something really nice for him, but he just doesn’t know what. And that’s why he’s in his current predicament.

He’d ask Ben, but Klaus can only manifest him when he’s nearby, and he can’t really have a conversation with Ben about how to ask Klaus to marry him  when Klaus is present. So he buys the rings fifty-one years, five months and two days after he makes that promise to Klaus in Vietnam, but he sits on them for over two months, unsure of how to bring it up, what to do or how to say it.

And then, one morning, it just hits him.

Klaus is a hard man to predict. Some mornings, he’s up at the crack of dawn, banging pots and pans around in the kitchen, making breakfast without being prompted and bringing it to Dave where he lays in bed, crawling over him and kissing him sweetly until he finally wakes. And others, he’s impossible to wake and honestly rather grouchy when he finally drags himself out from under the covers. Dave thinks that those days, he wouldn’t even get up if the house was on fire.

And then some mornings, Klaus opts to lounge in bed, pulling Dave close so he can’t get up, insisting sweetly, “just five more minutes,” which turns into another hour of drifting in and out of sleep, cuddling and eventually, sleepy kisses that devolve into sighs of pleasure, tangled limbs and Klaus proclaiming that morning sex just might be his favorite kind of sex.

This morning in particular is shaping up to be one of those mornings.

It’s a lazy Sunday and Dave wakes at around ten in the morning, but Klaus is quick to pull him close before he can even think about climbing out of bed, sleepily whining something about wanting to spend all day in bed along with, “just stay for a few more minutes.” But of course, a few minutes quickly turns into half an hour, which turns into Klaus peppering sleepy kisses on Dave’s lips, fingers running gently through his hair, and honestly, who would Dave be to stop him?

However eventually, soft kisses eventually turn into more solid presses of lips, which turn into teeth and tongue and Klaus sighing softly into Dave’s mouth, body rocking gently against his in bed. And that eventually turns into Klaus shifting to straddle Dave’s hips, Dave’s hands sturdy on his thighs, palms sliding up and down exposed skin, fingers hooking  under the waistband of his ridiculously bright underwear. And god, Klaus is going to be the death of him, but Dave is never one to deny him, especially when he’s got Klaus’ lithe body pressed up against his own, the sweet little noises working their way out of his throat and -

And suddenly, Dave’s thoughts are cut short when Klaus sits up abruptly, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Fuck, I wanna ride you,” Klaus mutters in a form of explanation as he shifts, moving to pull his underwear off, but surprisingly, Dave’s thoughts aren’t focused on the dirty words leaving Klaus’ lips, nor the way his body moves beneath his hands or even the arousal pooling in his own stomach.

No, instead, he can’t focus on anything but the way that the sheets drape around Klaus’ strong shoulders and the way late morning light paints stripes across his fair skin through the blinds. He can’t focus on anything but the way that Klaus’ green eyes shine when he looks down at him, and the sleepy, easy smile that finds its way onto his face when he catches Dave staring. And suddenly, it just hits Dave.

Holy shit, he wants to marry this man.

Klaus moves to shimmy out of his underwear, but Dave stops him with a hand on his waist. “Klaus wait -”

Klaus pouts slightly at Dave’s gentle request, but to his defense, he doesn’t move. “Aww come on, this was just about to get good,” he begins to protest, but when he spies the serious, concentrated look on Dave’s face, he steels himself, asking, “What is it?”

And fuck . All words are lost on Dave. He doesn’t know how to ask or what to say, but he knows in his heart that he needs to do this right now. It isn’t a grand gesture, but it’s perfect.

So, after a deep breath and a quick internal pep-talk, Dave closes his eyes and says softly, “I want to marry you.”

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to find Klaus smiling down at him, his emerald eyes filled with love and - a little bit of surprise. He sits up a little straighter, the sheets slipping off of his shoulders and pooling around his waist, and Dave follows suit, propping himself up on his hands so that he’s almost eye-level with the man in his lap.

Klaus reaches forward then, placing his hand gently on Dave’s cheek. “Dave,” he murmurs sweetly, then, “Davey…”

But before Klaus can say anything else sweet or teasing or derail the conversation, Dave continues, “I’m serious, Klaus. I - you know that conversation we had, a few years ago about… you know, perfect worlds and what I’d want to do when I got home and -”

“Yeah,” Klaus cuts him off, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Well, that included spending the rest of my life with the person that I love. And that’s you,” Dave explains. “So, will you marry me?”

And, for the first time in his life, even if it’s just for a few seconds, Klaus is rendered speechless. He gapes for a moment, staring at Dave as if he can’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth before he seems to come back to himself, a small smile spreading across his face. “Aren’t you supposed to get down on one knee?” he asks softly.

“You’ve never been a conventional person,” Dave teases gently, “Why start now?”

“And rings,” Klaus continues, “Aren’t you supposed to have a ring?”

“Bedside table,” Dave offers with a smile, “There’s a little box in there, hiding under some papers. I’ve been waiting until the time was right and -”

“You decided that the time was right when we were just about to fuck?” Klaus asks incredulously, but his grin only widens as he speaks. He’s certainly not bothered by it, and only seconds later, he’s leaning over, knees still bracketing Dave’s hips as he pulls the drawer open and rummages around until his fingers find the small, velvet box. Dave can tell when he finds it by the way he pauses, eyes going unfocused for just a split second, and just like that, the mask drops.

Sure, he loves Klaus’ sense of humor and his ability to make light of any situation, but he also loves him like this: emotional and vulnerable and open.

Drawing the box out of the drawer, Klaus hesitates for only a moment, his eyes darting to Dave’s face as if for permission before he opens it, his jaw dropping slightly at the sight, as if he doesn’t quite believe it.

Dave smiles, and it’s this gentle, hesitant thing. Klaus certainly looks happy, but he also hasn’t said anything since he laid eyes on the rings, and Dave can’t stop himself before he’s saying, “I know it’s not some grand gesture, and I’m sure you wouldn’t mind a big musical number or a few wardrobe changes or -”

“It’s perfect,” Klaus mutters, his voice barely loud enough to hear. And when he looks up at Dave again, his eyes look wet, as if they’re brimming with tears. “You’re perfect. Shit, I love you Dave.”

“So, is that a yes?” Dave asks, a teasing hint to his voice, and just like that, the moment breaks. When Klaus laughs, a few tears escape his eyes, trickling down his cheeks and landing on Dave’s chest, but they’re happy tears. They’re yes tears.

“Yeah,” Klaus murmurs, nodding his head frantically, “Yes, yes. Jesus, Dave, of course.”

Before Dave can say anything else Klaus is leaning down, the velvet box set aside in the sheets, and taking Dave’s face in his hands, pressing a wet, passionate kiss to his lips. The kiss doesn’t last long, though, quickly evolving into gentle pecks, relieved laughter and words of adoration. Before long, Klaus is wrapping his arms around Dave’s shoulders, burying his face in his neck, and Dave can practically feel his smile, burned into his skin for all of eternity, like a tattoo on his heart.

Then, Klaus is laughing against him, and before Dave has the chance to ask what’s so funny, he’s muttering against his skin, “I don’t know whatpossessed you to propose in the middle of morning sex, but this is the best cockblock ever.”

And god, he loves the ridiculous man in his lap. He’s loved him since the moment he laid eyes on him. He has loved him for what feels like a lifetime and then some, and now, he’s going to marry him.

“I love you, Klaus,” he murmurs at last, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple, and Klaus only squeezes him tighter.

“I love you too,” he replies quickly, god, Dave thinks, they’ve come a long way since that night in Vietnam.

#Klave #Klaus/Dave #Klaus Hargreeves #Dave Katz #The Umbrella Academy #asks #answers #prompts #My writing

[thewildwaffle]

Abduction - Chapter 18

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After the humans had been removed from the room, and Jebannuck had basically been hauled away, Simmo stood alone with her guards in the throne room. She stood there, unsure of what to do next. Commander Rozar hardly gave her a passing glance as he swept back to the throne. Her mandibles twitched involuntarily in annoyance. Normally, she'd be perfectly fine with being overlooked, especially when it came to any upper-ups and authority figures. Now, however? Under these circumstances? It felt like a slap in the face. What? Was she supposed to stand here forever on this stupid ship, waiting to be excused? Maybe she could just… slip away while the Commander still had his back turned.

“Now tell me, montauk,” Commander Rozar’s voice cut through the silence and echoed around the now, almost-empty room, “under what circumstances is it even remotely logical that I find you out here, floating along after our triumph against the Galactic Confederation, traveling with a Confederation officer and two humans?” He growled, or maybe it was a chuckle? It was hard to tell. “I must say, it's quite the entourage. Not quite a typical crew for your kind, now is it?"

He had reached the throne and sat down, sweeping his robe and long feathered tail dramatically. His golden eyes seemed to burn into her black ones. She averted her eyes to the ground in between them. He leaned forward in his throne, as if the movement would catch her attention and have her look up again.

"Now, now, no need to be shy. I don't care about the legalities or trade disputes with whatever it is that you have been up to. Those are all done with now that we've finally got control of this section of space. Whatever misdeeds you've done in the past as far as the Galactic confederation is concerned, the Burnti have little to no interest in. I myself have even employed many montauk. Not only am I well aware of many of your kind's... tendencies, I welcome them. In fact, it's because of your people's... lax stance on confederation laws that I have been able to..."

"I was doing nothing illegal." Her heart froze. She just interrupted a Burnti Fleet Commander. Not just any commander. Commander Rozar was a very well-known, well-feared leader. Her arms were frozen to her sides and her mandibles clicked involuntarily. Oh she wished she could have just snuck away earlier. She probably wouldn't have made it, but just the idea of being 'not here' was a very nice thought right about now.

"I wasn't doing anything against any law, Burnti or Confederation," she continued. Commander Rozar leaned back slightly, head tilted ever so slightly to the side, the smallest ghost of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. He would, apparently, allow her interruption, so she continued. "I was marooned on the planet Gamnut 4 after I lost my crew. I'd been there for several hundred partecs. I'd been salvaging what was left of my own crashed ship and repairing it with what I could find from the wreckage that managed to make it to the planet's surface. That's how I found the sefra and the humans. We worked together and were able to get into orbit, where your ships then found us."

"You worked together?" The smile that had been teasing at Rozar's face spread itself in plain view. "You, a montauk? Working willingly with them? Now that is a sight I'm sad I missed out on."

The muscles in the back of Simmo's neck tensed. She bit her tongue. she really, really did not like Commander Rozar, but she held back what she really wanted to say. She took a slow breath and opted for a safer response, "With all due respect, sir, you have a Galactic Confederation prisoner now at your disposal, you have your humans, may I now humbly request my leave from your glorious presence and return to my own ship? There are matters I wish to attend to." Matters, she thought, concerning those grug-heads who started the whole chain of events that led me to end up here in the first place.

Commander Rozar considered her for a moment. Large, blunt claws smoothed over the regal orange and yellow feathers of his forearm. "Not quite yet, montauk. You seem to think your part in all this is over. I'm not convinced it is. Do you have any idea why I have been so intent on studying humankind? Why I have been hiring so many bounty hunters to sneak earth materials across the blockade? Why I have offered such outrageously large rewards to anyone who could bring me a human?"

Simmo looked up slightly, still not meeting Rozar's eyes. As much as she'd like to say that she didn't care, she had known about the bounties that had gone out. They were odd and risky, but the best paying gigs always were. She and her crew had never gone after such prizes themselves, but it was well known that sneaking quality earth goods or information across the blockade was a good way to get stupid rich. If you survived or weren't arrested, that is.

Rozar took her silence as confirmation to continue. "As I stated earlier, humanity's alliance with the Galactic Confederation was one made in ignorance and haste. I plan to rectify it. I plan to bring the confederation to their very knees. And now, the blockade has fallen. Now, I have two humans in my possession. Thanks to you, little montauk, I have just been handed the very thing I need to bring down my enemies."

"Your excellency, I am glad to have been a help to your cause.” She bowed her head low.  “However, now that, as you've said, you have the humans, I'm not sure what more I can do here. Surely I could be of more use to you from my ship, perhaps retrieving more information or supplies from Earth?" Or getting as far away from this part of the galaxy as quickly as I flarging can, she thought.

Commander Rozar closed his eyes and chuckled. "I have plenty on such tasks already.” He  gestured for an attendant to approach. A small, blue scaled alien rushed over and handed Rozar a datapad.

“As far as the humans are concerned, you find yourself in a very interesting situation, and it is a situation I plan on making use of fully.”

“My liege?”

Rozar didn’t respond immediately, but instead scrolled through something on the datapad. He paused and scanned the screen intently for a moment. “We need an alliance with Earth. Failing that, we need to get them to end their current alliance with the Galactic Confederation.” He tapped the screen a few times before handing the datapad back to the blue alien, who bowed low and exited the room.

Simmo watched them disappear out the door. Earth, Earth, Earth. This whole mess over an alliance with a single planet? What the frewan had happened while she was marooned?

“Do you mean to tell me,” annoyed, Simmo forgot to watch her tone, “this is all about how if you can’t have an alliance with the humans, no one can?” She felt her gut drop the instant the words started leaving her mouth, but at half-way through the sentence, she went ahead and finished what she was going to say. Hopefully, this whole conversation would be over before her rash tongue could get her in trouble.

Commander Rozar only smiled. Vaguely, she remembered human Mike smiling with his teeth bared like that. It was much more threatening coming from the Burnti Fleet Commander.

“I suppose that’s exactly what I’m telling you. And you would be wise to help me make sure that’s exactly what happens and that my humans are ready to do their part.”

***

“Karpen, what are you staring at?”

“It’s those humans. That one’s making those weird noises again and the other one keeps glaring at me,” Karpen tensed. He’d been pacing at their post since they’d brought the humans to holding room.

“So what?”

“So, what if they’re planning something? They were dangerous enough before Drin’s lab, but now he let them keep that, that beast?! Who knows what they’ll be capable of now?”

“Karpen, just stop. What are they going to do? They and their little pet are locked up, we’re armed, they’re surrounded. They’re humans, not camshuri.”

The rest of the guards laughed.

“Aww, Karpen,” teased one, “don’t tell me you still believe in the camshuri?”

“What?” Karpen reared his long neck in indignation, “No! Of course not! I’m not a fledgling! I just think - Argh! There,” Karpen spun around to look at the entrance to the human’s room, “they’re at it again!” He could see them through the reinforced clear panel that made up the main wall.

The human male was making a series of high-pitched whistles and claps. Or at least, he was whenever he wasn’t shouting commands to the hairy earth beast or singing some strangely soothing song. Drin had been fascinated by the fact that this creature, obviously a carnivore, acted so friendly towards the humans. He allowed it to stay with them so he could study their interactions. So far, it was mostly the male that interacted with it. The human female, meanwhile, was sitting on top of the pile of bedding they’d been given. (Apparently humans prefer to sleep on top of and buried under as much soft fuzzy material as they can get.) She was staring at them back through the glassy door. Or scowling, more like. It seemed to be the only expression she had lately.

“They’re up to something,” Karpen growled. “She’s been glaring at us ever since she got settled in there. She’s challenging us.”

“How can she be glaring at you? It’s a two-way mirror. She can’t even see us.”

***

It was quickly obvious that the idiots on guard duty thought she couldn’t see them. But she could. She’d recognized it as a two-way mirror as soon as she walked in the room. The Burnti Empire seemed to be anything but subtle so far. After touching the mirror and seeing no gap between her finger and its reflection, she knew. What’s more, it was a really lousy two-way mirror. Sure, she couldn’t make out every fine detail, but she could see the guards as they shuffled around.

While Wenona watched the guards, Mike had been testing Carson on every trick he could think of. So far, he’d confirmed that he could sit, stay, shake paws, and roll over. Kind of. He wasn’t quite so good at that last one, but Mike seemed intent on perfecting it and teaching him more.

Anyway, it was obvious that Carson wasn’t some stray a bounty hunter had just happened to pick up. He was someone’s pet. He was stolen - just like them.

She’d had enough. It was clear that if she was ever going to get back home, she’d have to be the one to make it happen. Without taking her eyes off the guards on the other side of the glass, she tried mentally piecing together some sort of map of the ship. Or at least, what they’d seen so far. She tried to review the halls and corridors. She felt pretty confident she could find her way back to where Simmo’s ship was. Or at least where it had been. They might have moved it by now though. But they’d been in a docking bay. What if the Junk Lego wasn’t there? Maybe they could nab another ship?

They could take the guards when they tried moving them around the ship. It was clear they knew a bit about humans, but as Drin had said, they’d never encountered them before. Being underestimated had worked in their favor before on the Montauk ship. The Burnti Empire had no idea who they were messing with.

They could take the guards. But the real problem was, could they an escape before they were found out? This was a much larger, much more staffed ship than the Montauk’s had been. They could have died before. They nearly did. And this time, she seriously doubted there’d be another ‘Gladius’ to come along and pull them out of whatever mess they ended up in.

It might work. But it might get them killed. But the alternative was sticking around to see whatever the Burnti Empire had planned for them. If it was anything like the Montauk they had hired, she didn’t want to be around long enough to find out.

It was a lot to think about. She brought it up to Mike. He wasn’t too keen on the idea.

“And what? Leave Jeb behind?”

Wenona looked away, frowning. She had thought about that. No matter what scenarios she ran in her head, she couldn’t figure out what to do. What could they do? They didn’t even know where he was.

“That's… that's low Wen. He's out best friend! How can you even think like that? Is getting out of here that much more important to you?”

“That’s not what I…” she scoffed. She didn’t mean… She wouldn't... couldn’t leave Jeb… right? She shook her head, she wasn’t sure she wanted to answer that even to herself right now. But you know what? At least she was trying to come up with a plan. What was he doing? Playing with the dog.

“Isn't it to you?” Her voice suddenly sounded like it could cut through glass. “Is it? Even a little? Or have you been having too much fun playing space adventure to remember that we're not supposed to be here? We’re supposed to be on Earth. We’re supposed to be with our families! That’s what we’ve been trying to get back to since we were taken. Or at least, I thought we were. That’s what I’ve been doing. I miss my family Mike!” She wiped away a rogue tear that had the audacity to start rolling down her cheek. She turned around from Mike and punched a lump in the cushions she sat on. “They need me, and yet everytime I think I'm closer to getting back to them…” she slapped a small nearby cushion and sent it flying across the room. She rolled over to face the wall. She didn't want to look at Mike, or the guards she knew were watching. Most of all, she didn't want anyone to see the tears she could no longer stop from falling.

The silence was deafening. Wenona nearly jumped as the cushion she had sent flying was placed on her hip. Annoyed, she jumped a bit and looked around, expecting to see Mike, but instead, saw Carson panting happily. The pillow was slightly wet and had a string of drool still connected to his mouth. He licked his mouth to clear it up and rested his massive head on her side, next to the pillow.

Wenona sighed. She reached out to pet his head. His massive tail wagged slowly but happily. “Good boy.”

Carson huffed in reply and nuzzled the pillow closer - pushing it off her hip and into her arms. She sniffled and gave half a smile. As soon as she raised the pillow up, Carson lifted his head and stared intently at it before Wenona threw it across the room. With a scrabble of dull claws on the floor, Carson was off.

Wenona and Mike watched as the pillow was returned to a spot between them. They both took turns throwing the cushion for Carson for several minutes. In silence. Not looking at each other. Just picking up the pillow and tossing it across the room.

“Wen,” Mike stopped to scratch Carson's ears before throwing the cushion again, “You said you had a sister, right? Younger sister?” She nodded but still didn’t look at him. “I don’t think I ever asked, but, how close were you two? In age, or, whatever.”

Wenona’s nose prickled as she felt more tears starting to come. This wasn’t quite the take she’d been expecting this conversation to take.

“She’s almost five years younger than me, but we were pretty close. Especially growing up.” She paused, taking a deep breath to steady her voice. “We… we did everything together.” She wanted to stop at that, but the words seemed to start coming of their own accord, “She was more athletic than I was growing up, but we’d play on the same baseball and soccer teams as kids, then I’d go to her games when she was in high school. I’d help her with her homework when I’d come home from college. Especially with essays. She had a hard time with spelling.” She couldn’t stop the tears anymore, so she gave up trying. “We used to turn the radio up really loud when I’d drive her to the store. She’d always get the lyrics wrong, and it used to annoy me so much,” she choked out a laugh and rested her head down in the cushions.

“I don’t remember what the last thing was that I said to her. Or to my mom or dad.”

Carson brought back the pillow, but this time when Mike threw it, he merely meandered off and laid down along the wall, panting like he was tired. Outside, the guards’ muffled voices could be heard as they switched shifts. Mike sat down on the other side of the pile of cushions and blankets.

“I always wished I had siblings. I was an only child growing up, and we moved a lot. And I mean, a lot, so I always thought it’d be nice to have someone who I wouldn’t have to start over with every time.” He paused and they sat in mostly silence again. Eventually, Mike got up and grabbed a couple of water orbs the room had been stocked with. He tapped Wenona on the shoulder and handed one to her.

“I’ve always hated being alone. Or, well, I guess not alone. I mean everyone needs to be alone sometimes, but not being alone… I guess it would actually be… lonely. I hate being lonely.” He sat back down in his spot.

“I always thought that if I had a big family, I wouldn’t ever be lonely. I never got any siblings though, but…” He sighed and bobbed his head for a while. “You know, Wen, we’ve been through some real messes lately, and we’re still alive. We’re gonna get out of this. It’s just… different this time. We need to play it right. Weren’t you telling me before to think before I act?” Wenona lifted her head a bit to look at him. “Yeah, I know!” He chuckled. “Look at you, teachin’ me stuff!”

Wenona smiled. She wiped her face as she sat back up.

Mike continued, “I might not have had a big family on Earth, but I feel like it’s gotten bigger since I was abducted.”

Wenona’s dark eyes met Mike’s steely gray ones for a moment. She nodded before looking back down at the water orb Mike had given her. She drank most of its contents and then threw the nearly-empty orb at the window where the guards were standing. It splattered gooey and wet across the glass. Several jumped back startled, and a few reached a hand to holstered weapons as they tried to figure out if they had a ‘situation’ on their claws.

Both Mike and Wenona gave a small chuckle before Wenona leaned forward to whisper quietly, “So what’s step one?”

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#abduction #humans are weird #humans in space #aliens #mike #wenona #jebannuck #simmo #gladius #humans are space orcs #chapter 18 #space #original writing #getting feedback got this chapter out #comments appreciated

[samesongxox]

Savior: Chapter 1 (Gilded Cages)

So this is just me posting this from fanfiction.net I’m only on chapter 9 so far but after Christmas I’m hoping to pick this back.

Summary: (Hellboy 2019) AKA Turning a New Leaf AKA Good Samaritans Need Love Too. The B.P.R.D is tasked to infiltrate a black market creature trafficking ring led by a powerful warlock. Hellboy rescues Phyrra who is found being held hostage, a slave for her magic. He must protect her as she is hunted by her master and his gang of monsters. (AU where Broom isn't dead/Abe wasn't found)

It will be rated M, it will include violence, swearing, smuttiness, all the good things in life.

Disclaimer: Hellboy belongs to Dark Horse Comics/Mike Mignola, I don't own anything except the AU and my OC's.

"What do you think should be done Phyrra?" The elf glanced up at her master, fighting to remain expressionless. What did she think? She could just as easily laugh or cry at the simple question, but she learned long ago that Elias was not swayed by a simpering female.

His gaze was firm on his most prized possession. As he was a creature of few real pleasures, this little human he caught tickled him greatly. He eagerly awaited her answer.

Phyrra hated when he smirked like that, that horrible grimace. It only meant danger, for her, for everyone in the room; it was only silence save for the humans pained breath and the anxious clacking of Rhys's hooves on the marbled floor, the creatures awaited the elf's answer. 

Resolutely her gaze settled on the bloody man in chains before her master's grand desk, his bald head could barely be seen over the rich oak. The pitiful thing was starting to sob, quiet hiccups of air stealing the adrenaline left in his battered body, sweat tinged with blood trailed down the mans face, giving him the macabre illusion he was crying blood. It was an image too vicious for Phyrra to handle, as she weighed her options for the thing to say that would convince this prisoner to be saved.

"The human is obviously contrite. The inventory lost is pennies, and you have much more to gain from the information this one clearly has about Lazarus…." She tried to read the expression on her master's face, should she continue? Phyrra opened her mouth to do so.

"Noted. Mordecai?"

Her jaw clicked shut, he did not like her answer. Movement began to crawl from the shadowed corner, black grotesque shapes curling down the ceiling like slime. The figure shrunk until it evolved into a vaguely humanesque shape, and it stepped forward; eyes glittered like rubies as its glistening fangs barred in displeasure.

"It's obvious Elias. Let's skin this sack of shit." Phyrra felt her skin chill, the mere presence of the vampire setting her on edge. She hated this, the whole situation. How did she find herself in moments such as this?

The answer was quite simple, she was nothing more than a trophy. She should of said what she knew her master wanted to hear; her damnable pride causing her what would no doubt be a firm punishment, and she stood there hoping she would be having dinner tonight. By far she hated being starved the most.

Her master could not physically hurt her, so of course he had to resort to more creative ways to keep his slave in line.

Phyrra was brought back to reality as her master cleared his throat, obviously ready to give his judgement. His long spindly fingers were steeped together, his black nails clicking slowly, an impression of a relaxed bystander. Phyrra snuck a glance at Rhys and tried not to pity him too much for the dejected look upon his bronzed face, wishing that for once her master could maybe ask the centaur's opinion.

"Phyrra is right. Rhys, take the man to our cages and throw him in with the sirens, they'll have there fun. Once they have finished, bring back what is left of him and we'll see if this lips are still sealed tight." Phyrra stood in silence as the idea that the master agreed with her to not kill a human settled over frayed nerves, she had no way to know how to act in moments as these, the slightest ounce of kindness confusing her more than his normal cruelty could.

Rhys had not taken a step forward before the prisoner jolted up, his swollen eyes rolling to the back of his head, revealing the whites.

"I'll die before I let you take me! LONG LIVE LAZARUS!"

Phyrra couldn't help the gasp as time seemed to slow down, inhumanly quick the man had broken free of his chains, a feat that was thought to be impossible, but quickly it was confirmed this was no normal human as the being flung an unseen object at Elias. The object made contact, causing the warlock to stumble back in his chair, the force of the weapon propelling him backwards over the chair.

In a flash of movement, Rhys was charging towards the human, but could not be as quick as the vampire. Mordecai appeared out of seemingly thin air, wrapped his spindly arms around the neck of his soon to be victim. The pressure applied was quick and precise, the snap resounding in the room, the human dropped from his embrace and silence once again enveloped the room.

Mordecai hissed, furious at the pointy haired bitch and his once almighty friend, so easily swayed by the thought of her magic pussy.

Elias pushed himself off the floor with a grunt, quickly looking to his subordinate to gauge their reactions, feeling the blood drip from the newly acquired cut on his face; to say he was embarrassed was a grand understatement, he was furious. What was once a man, a lifetime ago, was replaced by a monster, Elias didn't get to where he was by being understanding and kind towards his fellow creatures.

Phyrra being the only thing to ever be privy to his altruism, his glorious clavis aurea. He didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her, these recent events cautioning him. It was Lazarus, the swine. He was what was making Elias desperate. He had a proud respectable business and that gargoyle threatened everything he had sacrificed everything for, it simply was not done.

"Mordecai, Rhys. Leave. Now." Mordecai didn't have to be told twice, nothing more than mist in seconds. Rhys on the other hand couldn't stop himself from seeking out Phyrra's eyes, needing her to let him know she was gonna be fine. Not looking at him, she slowly ran her finger across her eyebrow in what looked to be just a twitch, but it was their version of 'I'm okay' and an appeased Rhys left the room. He was much too sweet for this place, she often asked him why he worked for such a fiend.

Blatantly Phyrra realized what it was that hit her master. A fingernail. The human had broken off his entire nail when no one was looking and with a superhuman strength broke his chains, attempting to murder her master with it. Any other situation Phyrra would be laughing in an uncontrollable heap on the floor, still she could feel the smile trying to break on her face. It took her own nails biting into the flesh of her palm that brought it back from the brink of breaking.

"Phyrra, if you'd please?" She took a step forward, already beginning to feel the warm glow on her wrist, a perfunctory glance down saw that everything was happening as it usually did: The golden swirls on her outstretched fingers wiggled and weaved on the surface before slowly rising up off her skin, twirling like spun gold in the air, a graceful shimmer that poured melancholy in her heart whenever she used her people's gift for him.

The tendrils of interwoven threads before caressing themselves onto her master's wound, the healing technique was quicker if she physically touched his wound, however Phyrra spared much effort to remain a distance as often as possible. She loathed the way he looked at her the times her magic danced upon him. The tranquil, admiring way he tried to catch her eye always caused her discontent, like they were friendly enough for her to enjoy having her magic used.

Lately he had been acting very strange towards her. The last few decades they had collapsed into a safe routine, but recently he had begun to seek her out in her alone hours. Phyrra tried to strike up polite conversation, recent transactions at the auctions or the new text she was reading at the moment. Phyrra forced herself to not think of the truth, the tense, revolting feeling she got whenever she caught him staring at her. It was so obvious, but Phyrra was in no position to deny him the day he finally had enough of the charade of her youth.

She was no girl anymore; sure when he had first...'Acquired' her, she was still in her fledgling years. As much a child physically as any human of about 14 years. Those days were behind her however as she grew under Elias's care. As was the way of her kind, her body quickly filled out the long limbs, she reached maturity and Elias was quick to change along with it.

"It is all right pet. The inherent light that lives inside of you is one of the qualities I admire in you." 

Phyrra fought the instinct to jerk back as he ran his nails in a gentle caress across her cheek, pushing some wispy trails of hair behind her ears. She couldn't stop the shiver as he continued across the elongated shell.

"You are in no trouble Phyrra, in fact, I'd like to reward you. After we sup tonight, we shall take a walk and I will present it to you." Phyrra stepped back in instinct as her master stood up abruptly, she did not care for the ruse of his calmness moments after what transpired. She was so use to nothing but fury and scorn from him.

"May I return to my room master?" Phyrra saw the blatant disappointment in his eyes, as she quickly added. "I'm just so very tired after healing you, I'd like to nap before I start our meal."

She prayed that the sanguine of her voice was enough to soothe him as Elias took her hands between him, continuing his unwanted attentions to the tattoo of curls on them.

"...Of course you may." He said it slyly, like there was some secret he held. She didn't care about his tone, internally sighing with relief anyway, she could do nothing but allow him to press his cold lips to her forehead, however unpleasant it felt.

Bowing deeply she scampered away as quickly as she dared with her master still watching. Once in the safety of the quiet hallway, the weight relieved off her shoulders, Phyrra took off in great strides to her room, keeping her feet light as she thought about how she might resemble what a gazelle might look like fleeing a lion. The analogy was not lost on her.

As Phyrra reached her door, she felt her skin turn to ice, something was behind her. Before she could even turn she was trapped against the surface of her entrance to her chambers, looking into the garnet gaze of Mordecai.

Out of the frying pan, it seemed.

"Where do you think you're going in such a rush, little lamb? Couldn't stand to be with your master for another second longer?" Mordecai's cruel smile twisted as he applied more pressure to her neck, ecstatic as her expression remained passive, only feeling the skin around her neck slightly bend to his will. Mordecai found her bodies disposition to damage fascinated.

Of course he does. Phyrra thought in disgust, the horrible thing can only comprehend dealing with pain.

"Mordecai, stop this at once." Brave enough in the moment, fueled potently by her anger from earlier. Phyrra pushed hard with her magic, her robes obstructed the full sight of her glowing body, she manipulated the light to blind Mordecai, causing the creature to hiss as he backed up hastily. Forcing him to cover his skin from the heat akin to sunlight coming from her skin, she quickly turned around, fumbled with her door. Scurrying inside to lock behind her just as urgent, her adrenaline causing her to pant in great breaths.

Mordecai opened his eyes, his hands took most of the damage, he realized disoriented. His senses quickly scoping out the stinking beast Elias kept for muscle, looking amused at the altercation he witnessed.

"You know Elias would have your head if I told him about this?" Mordecai sneered at the half man, without hesitation he called the bluff.

"Go on, tell him you dumb animal. I just might have my own tales to tell, like how I see you coming into her chambers at the crack of mornings." Mordecai loved the instant fear that overwhelmed the beast's face. "Did you think you could get away with it?" The vampire was merciless as he was with anything, his cruel words lashing at the centaur just as sure as if he was whipping him.

"I can still smell the virginity on her so I know you haven't fucked her," Rhys flinched at the language he used, which only gave the leech more pleasure, "but all the same Elias would be very displeased at you."

"What are you… What are you trying to get me to confess to?! I protect Phyrra to protect Elias, I am doing nothing untoward her!" Mordecai cackled as the victory of this interaction was clear, Mordecai didn't know why the animal even tried to get the upper hand on such a superior creature that he was.

"I am just telling you we both have our secrets…"

Rhys watched in horror as the bloodsucker slunk away in the darkness, his terrible laughter echoing in the hallway long after it's shadow was gone. Rhys was a creature of a simple life, centaurs were known for their power, strength, loyalty. He got confused easily with all of Elias's dealings, although he did want to remain in as much ignorance as he possibly could. It was much easier to think of Phyrra as a friend to protect than as a prisoner.

Rhys felt immense guilt, but it didn't stop him from raising his meaty fist, poised to knock on the door, before the strangest sounds reached Rhys's ears. It was a heavy thumping coming from down the hall...What the hell was that? Rhys went to investigate...

Unbeknownst to the activity on the other side of her door, Phyrra slowly moved throughout her spacious lodgings, absentmindedly running the brush she grabbed from her vanity through her wispy strands. She felt disconcerted, something was off but she could not pull herself from her weariness.

She didn't completely lie to the parasite. Using her magic was draining for her, her people's magic was a physical extension to their bodies, as much apart of there DNA as familiar genetics. She undressed without thought, shedding her robes to gaze at herself in the full length mirror hung from her wall, ornate and ancient if the inscription was any indication.

Phyrra knew of the beauty she possessed. She was an elf after all, a creature known for its beauty and grace. Her mother was one of the loveliest of her tribe, she came from a long, long line of powerful elves. She also knew that wasn't what her master wanted from her, it was just the extra incentive that kept her in this prison, the magic in her possession the true prize.

Going through her routine to have a bath, she was just pulling the towel around her body when Phyrra stopped short as she looked around her room, where was Binx?

Before Phyrra could even open her mouth to call for her friend, a massive tremor shivered the floor under her feet, her foolish sensitive ears picked up the sound of what could only be described as a brawl. She heard the sound of flesh being hit and a general white noise of commotion. What was Elias moving? Phyrra was used to the strangest sounds on this property, after all when you have a revolving door of the world's most dangerous beings there was bound to be property damage.

Phyrra needed to find Binx, regardless of what might be on the other side of the door. Not for the first time, Phyrra cursed her master for his hatred of her companion, the one thing left from her free life. She was never to bring Binx into his chambers, or around him, ever since he hit her once and broke her wing, Phyrra made Binx promise she'd steer clear of him, stubborn little pixie.

"Binx are you here?!" Panic began to cloud Phyrra's vision, her previous fatigue dissipated in the horror of her lost friend. Grabbing the doorknob with haste, Phyrra gathered the courage to face whatever was going on in this compound.

The door burst open but Phyrra saw nothing but white.

fin

clavis aurea - golden key (latin)

#fanfiction #hellboy fanfiction #first post #be gentle #writing

[karumchaoui-blog]

My Philosophy on Dog Training   part2

My desk is an architect's drawing board, and calls come in constantly to either of two phones on the floor of my cluttered foyer. Callers often want a little something extra for their dime, especially free advice. They call up and say things like "What kind of progress are you making in the study of animal behavior?" Or "What is your method of making a saluki sit?"* Very few diagnoses can be made over the phone, and I am most adamant about working with the owner and dog in their own environment, the home. Some dogs have 

more problems than others, radier, some people have more problems than others. And, of course, certain cases deserve special attention. I don't always succeed in my goals, however. A convent of nuns on the West Side tried to engage me, but when they found out that I had to come to their residence, they changed their minds. No man had ever been inside the convent, and they would not budge from their firm policy. * Salukis are fascinating dogs. They move very deliberately, much like an antelope, and are very alert. They are the oldest hunting dogs on record, and are pictured in ancient Egyptian tomb paintings. But the clients home is where the dog's habit patterns are formed and where all the training problems should be solved. That's where the rug is being soiled, where the curtains are being chewed, so that's where we work the problem out. If the dog has trouble behaving in supermarkets, I work with him in supermarkets. In one secretary's apartment, the furniture was all scarred because "Baby" had been chewing everything in sight, and his mistress didn't know how to stop him. He was her first dog, and like most people, she didn't know how to handle him. The dog was six months old, and I would rather he were six weeks. By six months, a puppy has had time to pick up bad habits that have to be removed. At six weeks, he hasn't had as much opportunity to make mistakes, and if properly trained, he can be more easily molded to his owner's way of life. With this particular dog, the first thing I did was to discard the greasy steak bone he had been chewing. I explained to the owner that every spot that a greasy bone touches will absorb grease and meat odors-and thereby becomes a potentially nice place for chewing. When I entered the apartment of my next client the cocker spaniel immediately jumped up on me, and I carefully flipped him over backward, saying "no"-the way to stop a dog from jumping up on people. The cocker quickly retreated to his special closet-from which he attacked anyone who went near him. As a puppy, he had been sent there as a punishment after being reprimanded. He soon learned that he could avoid a reprimand by running to his closet whenever he felt he might be punished. Surrounded by walls on three sides, where a human could get at him only by bending down and reaching in, he felt very secure. He knew he had the advantage there, and he took it. This spaniel had a lot of other problems too-urinating on the rug, shoe chewing, nipping the children. As is customary, I wanted to see how the family acted with this dog. I had to meet every member of the household to assess the difficulties involved. I wanted to find out what was the cause of this behavior problem, and so I tried to get a complete history of the dog. In this particular case, it was very obvious that the owners were at fault. I explained that what they thought was punishment-putting him in the closet-was in fact a lesson in aggression for the dog. By putting him in the closet, they had unknowingly given him a "fortress" ' from which he could strike, a way for him to control them. And when he saw what he could get away with, he, like any other animal, decided to take advantage of the situation. What had to be done with this dog was to take away his security spot, neutralize his aggression, and teach him some good habits. And it had to be done in this order, or it wouldn't have worked. At another stop, a more technological-and expensive-approach was needed to control an obstreperous pet. The dog was left to wander alone through the apartment, while I watched his actions on the screen of a closed-circuit TV monitor outside. Whenever the dog started to chew furniture, urinate, or literally tear up the house, I would say "no" into an intercom mike, and my voice was amplified many times by a speaker inside the apartment. The animal quickly shaped up. This is a rather expensive way to train dogs, but sometimes, as in this case, there is no alternative. By this time, of course, you've realized that it's the owners who are my pupils. And if I feel a person won't follow my advice, I won't take him as a client. There's little point in taking a dog and training him to my way of life. The dog is living with his owner, not with me, and he should be trained by him and not me. I theorize that, since most problems come from the owner and not the dog, the owner should be taught to under stand the dog and his role in the dog's life, and vice versa. Now and again I have had to retrain dogs who have been to other training schools. Some of these trainers never fully explain the dynamics of dog behavior and owner-and-dog relationship. They simply lay down a series of iron-clad rules and employ inexperienced help who train strictly according to the rule book, with little or no flexibility. The owner is seldom if ever warned to expect occasional breakdowns in discipline or given instructions on what to do if the dog errs. After the usual contractual time limit of six to eight weeks is over, the owner's complaints are answered in one of two standard ways: "Your dog is untrainable." Or "It's your fault." In general, I visit my clients once a week, and if there is a problem with their dog, I ask them to call between visits. When there are absolutely no calls from a new client, I know there's a giant list of problems. Nobody can have a perfect dog in the first two weeks. Dogs are living things and, like us, are all subject to idiosyncrasies. I consider my work a practice, not a business. I have no set rules for training. Each dog is a new experience, just as each family is unique -and therefore the problems and causes of these problems are different. When I listen to people talking about their dogs, I usually find they don't know too much about dog behavior. So training must start at the most basic point, the beginning. The first thing I do is to try to make my clients feel relaxed. I want people to think of training their dogs as enjoyable rather than a chore. The most important principle in my training technique, however, is transference-making sure the dog recognizes his owner, not me, as the authority figure. I try to take advantage of a dog's natural pack instincts, only substituting the dog's owner as the dominant pack leader. The dog should never be a leader but always a member When people ask me to spell out dog-training techniques and care, I find that stories about other owners and their dogs is the best way of illustrating dog problems and their solutions. This book, then, is full of my experiences and case histories, and shows what happens if exercises are not done correctly. You can learn from your own as well as others' mistakes. This book should entertain you as well as instruct you, and the lessons apply to owners of mixed-breed dogs as well as to owners of purebreds. Your dog can probably learn as many as eighty or even a hundred commands in his lifetime, and by following my instructions in this book, you can teach him to do almost anything within reason. It's a good idea to read this book completely through, however, before starting any training at all.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

The Great ATOG Reread; Grey part 8

Cause I can’t stop reading. This is a liveblog.

Chapter 25

And Kurt thinks, I can endure this. I've endured worse. No. He hasn't. 

Ah, young love. Sebastian, our resident bag of dicks, is awful for both of them. 

I could write a lot of shit about this and about how Blaine’s on the Phalanx rollercoaster again (even when he’s not Phalanx, I will refer to this as the Phalanx rollercoaster now), but this passage does it all justice.

He tips his cup around, feeling guilty. He wants to be friends with Sebastian. He wants something in his life to be normal. He likes being greeted with a glance confirming that he's wanted, what's so wrong with that? Agent Sylvester treats him more like the Ghost's pet than his partner, the internet can't make its mind up whether he's the sidekick or if he's carrying the helpless Ghost, Blaine doesn't know that some days. Kurt's been weird for a long time, and Blaine can keep attributing it to bad nights on the streets, that team - at its worst, he knows what that team did to him - his job, now this situation with Sebastian; but the truth is just that Kurt is being weird, and Blaine's relationship with Kurt was one of the few normalities he had left to grasp at in his life. Is it so wrong to just want to have something ordinary? Because even Cooper looks at him differently now, like he's still working out if he likes the difference. Maybe even Cooper doesn't know if he does, behind the appraisal in his eyes there is fear: for all he knows every night of Blaine's life is that burning theatre, and it's only a matter of time before the night it's too much. It's weird seeing Cooper scared. The end of Blaine's placement and the end of his course is coming up and if he admits it he is fucking terrified of the real world, of having to actually face people and try to make them better. He's scared of fucking up his course because he never has enough sleep or time, he's scared of having to look for a job, what if he can't find a job? He's scared of not having college's timetables to keep to, the disruption of the life he's managed to keep just on this side of orderly is going to be utter and he's scared. He doesn't know who he is and he can't know how he'll cope with these things. And he would tell Kurt, talk to Kurt, but - But everyone calls him the sidekick, and he can't look so pathetic and lost in front of him . . .

God fuck damnit problem 2.

It’s kind of sad that they’ve reached the point where it’s easier to be the Ghost and Phalanx, because being Kurt and Blaine means hurt and miscommunication. It’s kind of sad they’re aware of the fact that their relationship without masks is getting worse, and they both don’t know how to handle it, so they hide behind their trusted masks.

(Oh, and, uhm... birds)

Oh mother-

Oh. It’s already time for Phalanx to almost fucking fall off that rollercoaster.

(Remember, this is a liveblog, not a review written after I’ve read this crap)

He needs to protect him, he has to protect him, he has to shield him, but - but it's only now facing him saying it that he realises that it's not for Kurt's sake that he's doing it anymore, he needs to be a shield more than he needs to protect him, and he doesn't know how this happened, how he became . . .

I know by now how Phalanx feels about homophobia and how it hurts him. I mean, how does it not hurt? But most night, Phalanx has learned to ignore it, but that wasn’t the right solution. Whereas I agree with the Ghost 100000%, Phalanx needed to do this to get it out of his system.

He’s tired. 

So fucking tired.

Coping has become something he’s gotten used to, because with the life he’s living, all he can do is cope and it still hurts.

AND OG SHIT IS THIS THE MOMENT WHEERE PHALANX ADMITS TO THE GHOST WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO HIM OH HOD I AM NOT READY?

(Once again, I have the urge to scream. This part always makes me want to scream)

His voice is shaking. "That I don't know who I am."

Oh Jesus, I know I’ve listed Blaine’s problems, but there’s actually only one. Problem 1, 2, and 3 are combined. He has an identity crisis because people keep seeing Phalanx as less than the Ghost, which leads to him regretting some choices he’s made and longing for some normal stuff, which only makes him feel guilty because he doesn’t know what that does to him and who he is and what he’s capable of.

He always says the Ghost is unpredictable, while really, in his eyes he’s the one who is unpredictable.

"Phalanx." He squeezes his hand hard. "Oh my god. Do you actually do this, you sit around comparing yourself to other people's ideas of other people? Like there's not enough in our lives to drive us insane before you start listening to them? Because they don't know us, you know they don't, that's the point. The way they talk about me isn't me. And you know that and I know you know that so why would you think that anything they say about you . . . because I never wanted you to be another me, you know I didn't, you're - better -" "No."

Of course, the Ghost is so confused. Because of all this shitty miscommunication, the Ghost hasn’t noticed any of this at all.

What’s the best solution?

Throwing yourself off a building.

Oh how I love the Ghost.

He’s right about Phalanx, though. Phalanx should stop seeing the Ghost as a victim. Phalanx does not get to decide whenever the Ghost needs to defend him. He’s the Ghost of New York City for fuck’s sake.

And Phalanx is Phalanx.

There's a lot to take in. There's so much to take in and some of it is - heavy and dark like a bruise he has to accept, he knows he just has to bear, but mostly he feels - mostly he feels - He feels so light it's like he has wings, straining for flight in the air this high over the city. Because he told him. He told him. And the Ghost - Kurt -

I almost started crying, but this time from happiness. I feel the exact same thing. This fic is kind of burden for a reason, and finally it feels like there’s this heavy thing being lifted from my shoulders.

He laughs, can't stop it, he feels so light, he feels - lifted - out of all those dark places, all those confusing shadows, the Ghost took a look at his dark places and he's not afraid of the dark. He just marched into them for him and said, There's nothing here. It's just shadows. There's nothing scary, look. If there are any ghosts, they can do him no harm now. Maybe they never meant harm to begin with.

Enjoy your coffee, boys.

genderflipped ghostlanx hell yes \o/ I hate when assholes only flip *one* of them because thanks for erasing their queerness guys, but girl-on-girl ghostlanx srsly does do it for me <3 An m/f couple is not automatically a straight couple yeah, but given how heterosexist thr world is anyway, I have no faith that people are being *clever* when they only flip one, they're 90% probably just being a dick. 

Shit, fandom is on a roll. (They’re both right)

For the first time in this entire verse, Ghostly is high key freaking out. We’ve seen her freak out before, but now you finally get what’s going on and why she rejects BB. Given the fact that they’re both adults, age isn’t important, and Ghostly knows that.

But Ghostly, the woman made of steel, is afraid.

Or not 'as soon'. That's the worst thought. What they would have done to him. How long it could have . . . it would never have been just death.

Phalanx is back on the rollercoaster, but this time the Ghost has strapped him in his seat. He’s slowly realising that all the dark thoughts that have been nagging him... aren’t that big of a deal.

BUT

You know what I love about Grey? The solutions to the problems are so small and so easy, and they make those problems feel like nothing. Yet, they’ve suffered. They’ve suffered a lot. 

Yes, looking back on them, those problems were fucking easy, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t bad. Rainjoy is a genius for doing that. The problems and the suffering were still valid. As a reader, you’ve seen how much this has fucked Phalanx up. You’ve seen that, even though the problems seem relatively easy to handle, they’re not easy and unimportant at all and Phalanx’s pain and suffering was real and valid.

Some stories fall in the “YOU’VE BEEN OVERREACTING ALL THIS TIME GROW A PAIR” trope, which is just awful. Rainjoy doesn’t follow that trope. Rainjoy writes reality.

He's allowed to struggle. He's allowed to not be sure. He's allowed to find it hard. That's what life is. And the joy of being allowed to fuck up, he could cry, he never knew how hard he was trying until he was told that he could forgive himself for it.

YES!

Oh wait, this is also the chapter where he gets poisoned? HE REALLY CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, EH.

I hate the Pink Dagger. How can someone be such a great, yet awful, villian?

Chapter 26

Oh shit, all that was just ONE chapter? This is what happens when I liveblog.

Phalanx is dying. AGAIN.

Why does this always happen to Phalanx? This and the fucking rollercoaster I named after him.

Phalanx means so much to him, he’s willing to break all the rules? Driving with Finn? Cool, why not? Stopping in front of Mike and Tina’s apartment and making it obvious they know each other? Sure? Willing going to meet a villian, knowing it’s a trap? Yeah?

Two things to remember about the Pink Dagger. One is that he does have an incredibly twisted sense of honour when it comes to the superhero vs. supervillain game; he understands the rules they're supposed to work by, and he sticks to them. If he said that he made an antidote then he almost certainly did. He's not actually evil, not as the Ghost knows evil. He might want to take the Ghost down out of sheer petty spite but he's got very little against Phalanx, and if he said that he made an antidote, in his ridiculous, overdramatic way, he probably did. The Ghost does have a chance to save Phalanx's life - if he can actually get that antidote. Two is that he's a coward.

OH god. Again, he’s one of the most brutal villians, but he’s also awful at being a villian? This is why Rainjoy chose Sandy Ryerson to be a villian.

Why is he so dangerous? This is awful. He’s forcing the Ghost to relive his worst memories and to make his worst fears seem real. It’s so bad the Ghost fucking gives up.

But he does that. He fucks up the rules for Phalanx.

Mike picks something up from the night table, lets a breath out like he needs to steel himself, and injects it into the drip running into Kurt's arm. "He's been drugged. His fear responses are - I'm trying to regulate them. He was calm enough when he got back, it's only when he started waking up that he -"

Can’t these guys get some rest?

They need a vacation, but Mike and Tina will have to pass for now. They’re good people.

It is awful. Blaine knows that what the Pink Dagger did to the Ghost was supposed to kill him. That he's alive at all is because he had people to help and because he's incredibly fucking strong, and, Blaine knows, because he's incredibly fucking proud; Kurt might die, but not to someone who calls himself 'the Pink Dagger'. But he hangs, still, on the precipice of how weakened he is. What was done to him should have killed him, and what he teeters on the edge of isn't just that his heart beat itself so hard it could have ruptured, that his lungs could have suffocated him by breathing too hard. He was dying of fear. He didn't have a clue where he was, he didn't know what was happening, he just knew that he was terrified almost to the point of it killing him and for all he knew alone in it, and Blaine doesn't know what desire Kurt could have left for waking up. He leans to his ear, brushes his hair behind it with his fingertips, murmurs to him, "Finn's here." He strokes his wrist. "You going to wake up and say hi . . . ?"

FUCK.

Kurt’s recovering, but he can’t fully wake up. Blaine is still recovering too, but at least he’s awake, and he can think. Kurt seems incapable of doing anything.

Finn carries him, over his shoulder and unresponsive, down to his car. They only get a few stares, the incredibly tall man carrying the smaller unconscious man like a rolled up carpet, the shambling little guy leaning on a much taller and very bruised man with a woman carrying the bag to the car behind them almost in tears. People have seen weirder. This is New York.

Bless.

And Kurt gave Blaine his life back: Blaine will never fail him now.

Double bless.

I feel bad for Rachel though, since she’s not used to this, but that’s life.

This is so fucking hectic and sad, at this point I even miss the fandom.

Because Kurt gave him a new mirror to see the world with, and now that neither of them are on their feet, he really has the time to look into it, to see the world reflected the right way. To see himself reflected the right way, finally.

Thee times bless. I am just so happy for him that Blaine’s feeling so good about himself, even though he’s half-drugged.

But now he has time to think and slowly, 

God. Blaine's not the only one struggling with what other people say about him.

he starts to realise that they’ve gone too far and that they need to talk. Kurt has changed to world the day before, and Blaine wants to do the same.

Both Blaine and Mike know medical shit (I don’t), so they both know the awful truth: Kurt doesn’t want to wake up. Well, Blaine’s not gonna let that happen.

The line opens, and he says, "Hi, Mr Hummel."

Chapter 27

Oh, you get Kurt’s POV.

This is kinda sad.

He’s so defeated. He’s ready to die.

Thinking Blaine will always have Sebastian anyway. Well fuck that bag of dicks.

It's not just the streets, it's every magazine he opens, every time he turns the TV on, every time he overhears another joke in a café, every time he goes online. Be yourself! society sings, and then, You're doing it wrong. Kurt can't do it right.

Please, don’t die.

Well shit, I know you won’t die. I mean - JULIO.

But it’s so sad to read about someone who wanted to give the world everything, but got nothing back.

He got stopped by the police, once. Came back to Kurt's apartment on a Saturday afternoon and the showers at his gym were out of order, he'd travelled back hair sweat-wrecked, more Phalanx than Blaine, still in his gross boxing gear and not the neat polo shirt and bow tie packed in the bag over his shoulder. And he'd been - his smile was a little wrong, too broad, as he recounted too amused that a couple of cops had stopped him for questioning (for walking while in possession of a suspicious skin colour?), like it was funny, when Kurt stared at him thinking, What? The police have never stopped Kurt. Not for all those years Kurt actually was performing illegal activities every night, no-one ever looks at Kurt and thinks of trouble, and looking at Blaine making light of it Kurt thought, They never would have stopped me. Not if I came straight from aikido looking like I'd just been in a fight. They would never stop me just for being on the street. Blaine had shrugged, grinning, and gone to use Kurt's shower. They both knew he was more startled by the incident than he'd let on, but Kurt suspects that he's the one who remembers it more often than Blaine does now. Because Blaine makes light of it so he doesn't feel hurt and angry, and Blaine's inherently sunny nature pushes these things out of his mind, and to Blaine, of course, this is only one incident amongst all the incidents that make up his life and can be catalogued as such - but to Kurt this was new and appalling, it was sickening. The one tick box that never will hurt Kurt: the cops who stopped Blaine knew nothing at all about Blaine that mattered to them except that they could tell that he wasn't white, and for once, his appearance didn't even 'pass'.

What good does it do Blaine, how will it possibly help him survive, if the only difference between them is that Blaine is forced to live by two tick boxes that will never be right instead of one . . . ? No wonder he claimed that he didn't know who he was, how can he? Caught between straight enough, male enough, white enough and the boxes that forces him into, how can that make him feel about the other halves of himself? Be yourself! society sings. Just not like that.

Is it weird I think about this a lot? I recently made a doodle of Phalanx and Incendiary, in costume, looking unamused and it read “NOT WHITE, BUT NOT A CRIMINAL”

Blaine isn’t black, which is kind of a terrifying thought. The way people stereotype black people is fucking awful, but I sometimes feel people forget that all PoC have this problem. It doesn’t matter what colour your skin is, as long as it isn’t white, they will look right through you.

Society says, Be yourself! We have already designated which 'yourself' is acceptable.

Shit son.

BUT FUCK YEAH PAPA HUMMEL IS HERE, READING VOGUE.

Really Kurt, wake up.

"Buddy, I hate to do this to you, but you gotta start wakin' up. You're scaring your doctor. Don't even get me started on your boyfriend. Kurt." He nudges his cheek again, until Kurt drags his eyes back open. "You're scarin' me."

WAKE UP.

AND HOLY SHIT

NO

NO

NO

NON

O

NO

THIS

OH I AM NOT READY

GHOSTLY

I wish I could put the entire passage in this post, but it’s too much. Ghostly. I’ve read a lot of good Ghostly stuff over the past week, but this is the best of all of them, because she’s right. This wears you down.

So here is the second thing I'd suggest, before the next time you treat someone else like shit because it's less effort than stopping to think before you start to type: imagine a mask on every person you see. Imagine that *they* deal with impossible shit you haven't got a clue about, imagine that they suffer such crap that other people throw at them, imagine that *they* make sacrifices to make the world a better place and that they deserve our respect for it, because you know what, fandom?

Ghostly, I love you.

This part of this chapter is needed, because you delve right back into the pile of shit that is Kurt Hummel’s current mental state.

Blaine stares at his coffee, then shakes his head, slowly. He takes a sip of coffee, holds it in his mouth and thinks before he swallows. Blaine has spent too long letting other people dictate to him how he should think and feel and live; Kurt has spent half his life coping with things he can't cope with by living for other people instead. And it's only now they've hit this wall that Blaine realises that neither of their coping methods work. Blaine can't let himself be pushed and pulled by other people, can't let what other people think dictate to him who he is but Kurt can't keep on disappearing the way he does, just submerging himself into other people's needs, fading himself away because he thinks that someone else needs something more.

Blaine is realising that they have missed so much. Kurt really had no idea what Blaine was going through, and now Blaine understands that Kurt’s been coping on his own too. Burt Hummel reminds him of that.

They don’t necessarily have to talk about heavy shit only. Just knowing they’re both awake and together is enough.

Amused, now, "How was your day, Blaine?" "I sang a medley of nineties girl group r'n'b in the shower." Kurt's laughter ripples under Blaine's cheek, sunlit water over stone. "I know, I could hear it." "I really enjoyed it." "I could hear that too."

Chapter 28

Something was finally restored to him in all that shouting, all that spent grief, something more than just Blaine's body was healed by that antidote. Returned to Kurt again is the boy he first met, wiser but still bright and enthusiastic and sweet, chivalrous and hopeful and kind, he looks at Kurt and it's like he sees him. His eyes are actually on him. He's actually smiling because of him. And he actually seems to look at him. He actually seems to listen and hear him. Because for so long now they've been so used to each other, Kurt felt himself so dull to Blaine as Blaine went for coffee with Sebastian and what was Kurt anyway, Blaine already knows Kurt and Kurt is hardly the most interesting creature on the planet, the most interesting part of Kurt is the Ghost. Blaine fell in love with the Ghost first, it's not like Kurt ever could complain, but, but - How long has it been since Kurt felt noticed? Phalanx and the Ghost were for so long so much steadier than he and Blaine were, in that costume Phalanx paid attention to him, in all that dull grey the Ghost was actually noticeable.

Welcome back, idiots.

It’s still so shitty how defeated Kurt feels. It’s like he has a time bomb strapped to his chest. He seriously thinks he’s going to die. He stops caring. Why care? One day, it will all be gone.

And Kurt goes with Brian, because whatever. Blaine is with Sebastian anyway.

Both of them are just... sigh. Kurt realises what’s Brian after, and Blaine realises Sebastian is a bag of dicks.

Fuck Sebastian and fuck anything Sebastian says. Blaine is defined by the choices he makes: now and every time, he's choosing Kurt.

Good. Sebastian is disgusting. You know who else is disgusting?

So if Ghostly's not here to yell at everyone for like expressing an opinion, I DO FIND THE WAY HE STANDS REALLY ANNOYING OK. Like Jesus we *get* that your gay already I'm sorry, I didn't realize people needed telling this, the fandom's angriest woman having stuff going on in her life doesn't mean that you're not a dick. *Fuck* you.

Fandom. I take back what I said, I don’t miss them anymore.

paleandghostly wrote a thing once about how people want to see puckzilla as a monster because its easy but hes more complicated than that i liked her, noone writes puckzilla meta, hope youre ok paleandghostly xxx

Dude what. You say something reasonable for once.

Was it just because he was still too drained to go back to work, he should never have gone out, and he panicked at his body failing him? Blaine knows how hard Kurt pushes himself and how Kurt's shortened limits might scare him right now. If he felt himself too ill to get home on his own, could that have kicked him into . . . ? But he hasn't done that in months. He hasn't for months and months, Blaine's been so proud of him, Kurt practising meditation breaths and reading up on CBT, Kurt so determined and strong. He hasn't done that in months. How worn down must he be to go back to that old fear, like no-one exists who'll protect him and he can no longer protect himself?

UHM YES TO TALKING ABOUT THIS.

Oh Jesus. The “break-up” is heartbreaking, because Kurt is drowning in his lack of self-confidence and Blaine can’t help him.

Kurt’s problem 2 is really suffocating him.

And he's been strange for months, because of - This. Because of this. He's been strange for months while he was disappearing and didn't - couldn't - tell him - "No. No."

NO.

#lb 2017 #i need to stop #lb reading #atog grey #the great atog reread