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drysaladandketchup · 2 months

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for the "things you said" writing meme -- matthew/leon, 12 :)

Thank you for the request <3 I realised very quickly I have no idea what constitutes a 'mini' fic. I struggle to write 'mini' anything lol. Hopefully this still satisfies :)

12. things you said when you thought i was asleep

It takes all of Matthew's willpower not to reach over and smash his phone just to shut up the alarm. All that saves his wallet and an awkward trip to the Apple store is the split-second realisation that the shrieking in his ear isn't his usual alarm.

It's a ringtone. Not his own, either.

He pries his eyes open to find the world through the window is still dark. One of the balcony doors is still ajar, letting in a cool night breeze. He's lying on his side in his own bed, the end of the all-star weekend memorialized by several aches and bruises.

His hips and ass are a little sore too, but that's unrelated. Technically.

The ringing stops. Someone huffs behind him.

Someone. Yeah, no, Matthew knows who it is. They may have met up at the bar once the media was done swarming, but Matthew was far from drunk. Painfully sober, in fact. If he's being honest with himself, he was hoping things would turn out this way.

One more time. One more moment. Because it's been a long time since they were them. Longer still since the sex was just sex, since hate became want. Matthew is strong in a lot of ways, but not against this.

"Davo." Leon's voice is low, and still gruff from sleep when he answers his phone. He sits up on his side of the bed, trying not to disturb Matthew, pulling the covers back up over Matthew's shoulder like he thinks he'll freeze to death in this balmy Florida winter.

Usually Matthew's a heavy sleeper. But never when Leon's around. He makes it impossible for Matthew to completely relax, to let time slip by. Leon's just too big of a presence, almost too much to bear. It was more important that everything linger, to bask in the strange comfort of their relationship, whatever it was. They had so little time. Even less, now.

"I know it's late. No, no, I'm not at the hotel. I'm... I'm with Tkachuk."

Leon says his last name like it's wrong, like it's rotting on his tongue.

When he corrects himself, says, "Matthew", it's better, lighter. Like it's ambrosia.

Matthew remembers when Leon Draisaitl saying his name wouldn't have meant a damn thing to him. When that simple act didn't fill him with fondness.

In the silence, Matthew can hear McDavid talking on the other end, but can't quite make out what he's saying. Matthew tucks up under the duvet, breathing quiet and even, trying to focus instead on the distant sound of waves and the ticking clock on his wall.

Ticking. Always ticking. Time bleeds out when they're together.

He doesn't even remember falling asleep last night, but he wishes he hadn't now. He wishes he'd stayed awake longer, just to... just too see him. To look Leon in the eye, to talk about everything and nothing until dawn, to feel big, too-warm hands on his body more and more and more. He wants to make sure he'll remember how Leon feels, sounds, tastes.

"Connor," Leon says, a warning, followed by a sigh. "I know. I know, okay? It was stupid, but..."

Maybe it was. Matthew has a good thing here in Florida. Better than ever. He was happy to leave Alberta behind and start over. So why did leaving make him feel like a coward?

Because leaving was about Calgary, and the Flames. About his career and his future. It wasn't about Leon. Leon was the wrench in the gears; the one thing he didn't expect to have to say goodbye to, the kind of hurt he never could have accounted for.

"I needed to see him." Leon sounds helpless. He's not the only one.

The only time he's heard Leon so lost was after his team was knocked out of the playoffs last season. The Oilers meant nothing--Matthew was pretty fucking glad considering they'd beat out the Flames--but he never wanted to hear Leon like that again.

He definitely never wanted to be the cause of it. Not like this.

Leon is still mumbling into his phone. "Yeah, I'm fine. He's... we're good. He's happy."

A hand settles on Matthew's head. Fingers play with his curls, nails scratch his scalp. A thumb presses just behind Matthew's ear, stroking the soft skin where only hours before Leon had put his lips, whispering sweetness and filth in equal measure.

It takes everything for Matthew not to groan, to whimper and surrender, roll over and climb on top of Leon and take all over again. Beg him to take something--everything--from Matthew.

"I don't know," Leon says then.

It's easy to guess what McDavid asked.

He's happy. But are you?

"I can't even tell him I still love him."

Still. Matthew didn't even know there was a before, let alone a still. Leon never said anything. Fuck, if Matthew wasn't busy trying to remember how to breathe, he'd roll over and punch him.

Then again, what did Matthew ever say? They never talked about it. Never let those closet hook-ups and slipping out back doors and little drinks and dinners and overnights excused as practical necessity be anything more than that. A bunch of chirps and half-truths and aborted discussions because it was all becoming too much. There was too much uncertainty. Too many ways it could go wrong.

It did go wrong. It became something. It became real.

Maybe that would have changed something. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything at all. It doesn't matter now. Matthew left, and neither of them said a word about things like love, because it was easier to hope it would shrivel and die with distance and time.

"I know I'm being stupid." Leon pauses when McDavid interrupts, then huffs. "No, I am. Fuck, I really thought I'd get over it. Maybe I will. Eventually."

Don't you fucking dare, you piece of shit, Matthew wants to scream.

"Not sure I can, though." Leon swallows so loud Matthew can hear it. Then quieter, like he's not sure he's even allowed to admit it, he says, "I don't really want to."

He's still playing with Matthew's hair, occasionally dragging a finger over his bare shoulder or down his back, tracing imaginary lines across Matthew's flesh. Like he's something to be memorized and cherished.

They're both so fucking stupid. Matthew bites his lip and tries not to choke on the lump in his throat. Could be his heart, climbing right up and out of his mouth. He clings to the sheets with shaking hands.

"I'm not going to fuck up what he's got here," Leon says tiredly, voice thick with tension and pathetic resignation.

Leon's not here to drag him back. He wouldn't do that. So why is he here? Just to torture them both? Being with him doesn't feel like torture. It feels like winning. It feels like defiance and decadence and too much and not enough. It feels like what could have been and what could still be.

He didn't find Leon at that bar and bring him home out of pity, or nostalgia, one last fuck for old times sake. It was... it just was. Not an ending. Not some final goodbye. Proof maybe there could still be something. Getting over it was never an option, Matthew knew that well before he stepped onto the ice as a Panther and found himself staring Leon down all over again.

Matthew's vision is blurring. His eyes sting, warm and wet. There's blood pounding in his ears, and a hand clutching his heart, a vice around his lungs. He hardly remembers how to breathe.

He doesn't catch the rest of Leon's conversation, except something about meeting Connor back at the hotel tomorrow. Meaning he's staying the night, at least. He's staying.

When Leon hangs up the phone, Matthew finally comes up for air. He relaxes his shoulders, listening to the soft thump as Leon taps his phone against his forehead over and over. Then it clatters on the side table. Leon sighs, sniffs, and sinks back under the covers. He tucks right up against Matthew's back, still burning like a furnace, soft muscle and skin brushing Matthew's spine in all the right ways.

He throws an arm around Matthew and finds one of his hands, worming his fingers through the gaps to hold it. His palm is sweaty, not that it matters at all to Matthew. He can't help squeezing Leon's hand a little, but if Leon notices, he doesn't say a word.

Not until he's wrapped tight around Matthew, near suffocating, like any part of them that isn't touching is a sin.

"Love you," Leon mumbles, barely more than a whisper, pressing his lips right to the base of Matthew's neck. Matthew's body can't seem to decide whether to shiver or melt under the heat.

Leon says it like it's inevitable. Painful. Pitiful.

What he's saying is, I'm sorry I love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before. I'm sorry I don't know how to say it now. I'm sorry it's too late, it's the wrong place, the wrong time.

Like he doesn't think Matthew could ever understand. And that's the worst part of it all. They're still not on the same page. Tearing down what they never built.

If Leon's only brave enough to say it when Matthew's asleep, then Matthew will just have to be brave enough to say it in the light of day. He doesn't run, and he won't now that he knows he doesn't have to.

He stares into the night outside his window, listening to Leon breathe, feeling his heart beat through Matthew's chest like that's where it longs to be.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow maybe they can stop chasing time long enough to make the most of what they have. To make up for what they've wasted. And whatever happens after, well, maybe they can stop being afraid of that, too.

#hockey #mattdrai #matthew tkachuk #leon draisaitl #my writing #asks #i can take any prompt and shove angst into it just watch me #'mutual pining dumbasses who can't communicate' my beloved trope #i hope it's obvious this is happening during/right after the 2023 asg #i know 2020 was the sacred texts but I feel like we don't use 2023 for mattdrai purposes enough #poor connor always suffering through mattdrai bullshit #leon has a scrapbook full of pictures of matthew and will be like 'remember when my bf left me ;_;' and connor wants to jump off a bridge #'mini' fic they said. i don't think 1.6k is mini. it got away from me. but i have never been concise in my life why start now

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blackbatofel · 2 months

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I just finished my reread of JLA: Tower of Babel and frankly, I'm surprised by the lack of Superbat fics about this plotline. I mean, it's the perfect setting for all the Superbat angst you could dream of.

How everyone keeps pointing out that Supes is the one closest to Batman, Clark emphatically referring to what happened as "your betrayal", how Bruce's files are cold and professional about everyone EXCEPT Clark (his fear of seeing him in pain), his guilt, how everyone else is loud and angry but Clark is silent and hurt, the fact Clark gave him the kryptonite in the first place. Clark having the final say and voting Bruce out of the League. Bruce KNOWING that he would do that and leaving because he didn't want to hear it.

The confrontation on Divided We Fall with all the accusations and the obvious hurt on both sides... then the agreement to reveal their identities together.

Tell me this wouldn't be an excellent break up/getting back together fic? The hurt/comfort of all times. If someone doesn't write this soon, I might have to.

#i honestly can't find any superbat fics about tower of babel but if you know of any I'm begging you to let me know!!! I need them #listen it's not my fault that mark waid chose to make a lot of emphasis on Bruce's relationship with Clark #even tho Diana is the only one who also knows Bruce's identify most of the focus is on Clark's reactions #my WIPs are judging me right now but I want to write this so badly too #superbat #superman x batman #bruce wayne x clark kent

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coyoteclan · 2 months

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Big TW for pet loss

Hey, clangen tumblr and those who just enjoy the silly cats on this blog. I know it's been a little bit of time since my last update, but unfortunately during the past few months, I have been caring for my closest friend, Comet.

She's been my best friend for 15 whole years, and on February 9th of 2024, I'm sad to say that she has passed. I won't lie when I say that this is one of the hardest posts I've ever made, but I want to continue this blog in her honor. Normally, I have a terrible habit of just letting projects like this slip by me and gather dust; however Comet was meant to play an integral part within the blog to immortalize her, and I refuse to let something meant just for her to go to waste.

I want to thank you all first of all for being such an amazing community. I've genuinely had so much joy come of this blog, and it pains me that I let it go stagnant for as long as I have. There are 568 of you now, which is so extremely wild to me; but I hope that from now on, you can all love Comet as much as I did, even if as a memory.

I hope to return to posting content both here and on my main, @mxssacre , but for now I still need time to grieve and come to terms with the loss of someone that was so incredibly intertwined with everything I've done since I was 9 years old.

Thank you for everything Comet, my heart, my soul, my love.

More of my favorite photos of her beneath the cut.

It's hard to choose favorites out of the thousands of photos I've taken of her over the years, but I hope these do her justice to show what an amazing being she was. I hope you're hunting your toy mice in the stars, Comet.

#Yeah this is a not so great post I'm sorry #I won't lie to y'all I've been sobbing my eyes out for the past week but it's helping me come to terms to write about her #I wanted to draw something for her in order to post this but ngl I just can't right now #I will be okay for the record. it's just an extremely difficult adjustment for me and I really do love this community #Seriously though. I've seen the hundreds of notifications I get from this blog weekly. I cannot thank you enough for the love I've felt #tw animal death #tw pet death #tw pet loss #I'm not sure exactly how to tag this but I hope the warning at the beginning helps #I literally finished writing a memorial for her before writing this post so clearly I'm a little in my feels lmao #I tried finding some of her sillier photos to add but there are so many. I might post more on my main later when I try figuring out-#-my memorial tattoo #hug your cats extra tight for me ❤

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cerise-on-top · 19 days

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Hello love! Hope you are well!

So I’ve had this cute idea for a while with AleRudy poly! Where Alejandro and their s/o spoil Rudy for a day, like make him dinner,, whatever you think lolz and then end it by both Ale and s/o spooning him?? I think it would be adorable!!

Hey there! I don't think I made this as fluffy as I could have, and for that I am truly sorry! But I tried!

Spoiling Rodolfo

I feel like he’d be surprised at first. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t doubt the love you and Alejandro have for him one bit, but he never would have thought you’d go out of your way to spoil him this much. First you bring him breakfast in bed, essentially waking him with a kiss to each side. It was all there, French toast, eggs, orange juice. He didn’t have to lift a finger. Naturally, as he got out of bed, he’d try to make it up to you by cleaning up after himself, only for you and Alejandro to stop him from doing so, forcing him back onto the bed once again. Rodolfo would grow suspicious. Did he miss an important date? Did the both of you miss an important date? It wasn’t like it was his birthday either, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember something that you did where you had to make it up to him either. For the time being, he’d simply accept his fate. Eventually, he would get up to check up on you. And then there was the barrage of gifts. They were lovely, naturally, but what did he do to deserve them? Again, he would grow even more suspicious. From the beautiful flowers to the small stickers you stuck on him, he wouldn’t know what to do. However, he wouldn’t say something immediately. Maybe he can think of why you’re being especially nice to him himself. Were you about to get into a lot of trouble? Were you just trying to get on his good side?

Of course, Alejandro made the suggestion of going out together, spending the time outside to do whatever it is he wanted. And then came the idea of having a picnic, since it was nice and warm outside. As you went to pay for all the items, with Rodolfo already taking out his wallet, you almost tackled him to get him to put it away. Alejandro paid, even though he shouldn’t have. You were three people, and with the amount of snacks you bought it didn’t come cheap either. From a massage to a heartfelt poem from you, it all started to seem like a little too much. Again, Rodolfo doesn’t doubt the love you feel for him, but it seems a bit off. However, you wouldn’t give him a satisfying answer either when asked about it. Were you going to break up with him after all this time? Making your last day together as beautiful as possible so he had something to cry over? He hoped not, but it didn’t seem impossible with how nice you were being towards him. A kiss to the cheek, you even gave him a plushie of a small cat, claiming its silliness reminded you of him. Why on Earth would you do all of this? Why go to these lengths?

Even around dinnertime, when you wouldn’t let him help out, he almost felt a bit sad. Sure, it was nice to not have to lift a single finger for a day, but why? He loved helping out, you both knew that. He was very much an active man at home, doing what he could to keep everything clean and in order. He didn’t mind cooking for you either, pouring his heart and soul into every meal for you. Rodolfo adored doing something for you, so he wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of it all. The meal was delicious, but he felt almost sad as he was unable to help you out at least even a little bit. You watched his favorite movie with him, you took pictures of him with his silly cat plushie, hell, you would have likely spoon fed him as well on that day. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. What have the both of you been up to? He would ask you again regarding it all when you were spooning him, trapping him on either side. It would take the most embarrassing nicknames that you only use on him to calm his nerves. Something along the lines of “Hush, Rudy-Poody, can’t we show our love and appreciation for you for once? You always make us feel good, so it was time to return the favor.” and “Mi esposo, you need to have more trust in us. Sometimes we just wanna see you smile as well. Cheer up, we just wanted to spoil just once in this life.”

He’d sort of cringe at the nickname you gave him, but it was the reassurance he needed since you only ever used it when you were being especially sappy. You didn’t get in trouble again, you were simply a bunch of lovesick fools. He’d give you a kiss on the nose and a smile. However, he would also try to turn around as Alejandro was spooning him, only for the colonel to not budge in the slightest, saying that Rodolfo shouldn’t be tossing and turning like this. No kissy for Alejandro it seemed. Rodolfo was this close to just wrestling him down for that kissy. Although he can’t really get used to the feeling of being spoiled, he will accept it for just that day. He will pay the both of you back in his style, though. You will also be spoiled. He couldn’t wait to team up with one of you to spoil the third one. All three of you will have had a day like this at some point.

#cod #cod x reader #alerudy #alerudy x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #Y'all have no idea just how tired I am I had a long day today but I had some time to write for the first time in like a week #don't worry I didn't forget about the fluff alphabet requests but I don't have a lot of time to write anymore #I still have to study for my driver's license so I'm left with barely any time at all for myself #sorry if this has mistakes again I am super tired today but I wanted to write something again #I will be working on a few letters for the alphabet for Nikolai today so I should be able to post it within the next few days #I have the test again this Friday and I am so worried about not passing again. but I will be trying my best again as well #I wanna take a nap so bad but there's like a million things I should be doing right now and I have no time for any of them #so yeah it'll be a while before I'm properly back with writing. sorry about that but I can't help it life is hard #work and being in a new environment isn't helping either. I will be back in my regular environment next month but I still wanna go back #again sorry this isn't too fluffy but I really didn't feel the fluff at all tonight. I tried

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emaiiyaru · 9 months

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dusts off ask box

it was just genshin chars in wonderland roles, there isn't really any lore to it outside of the disney movie that i was following

i don't really follow kpop groups but i do like Twice and BTS songs

i can't believe we're getting three generations of women into genshin impact

it's pretty cool that you can share your interests with your family honestly

thanks i really don't draw them as much as i'd like to

i was more worried about my proportions back then but i'm glad to hear that my old art is still holding up

thank you, i've really been beating myself up lately

what the heck!! that's insane.. genuinely thank you for supporting me for so long

#i'm really sorry if my responses sound a bit dull #i'm emotionally drained right now #i can't imagine following me for like 4 years what the heck #i think we're all victims of the genshin pipeline because this game just hauled everyone from ALL over #godh tumblr is so nice..such a whiplash from twitter #it really felt like i couldn't draw throughout this past month but nice msgs from inbox and tags #really made me want to draw again #and now i'm actually drawing again #it also makes me happy that people are still writing into my inbox despite my absences #some of these are pretty recent actually like i rarely ever get simultaneous asks #again thanks everyone

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quirkle2 · 1 month

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first amv be nicies to me about it or else

#qktalks #new hobby found ! achievement get #there was a lyric at the very start of this song (that i cut out bc it was slow and i wanted it to be a bit crazier)#that says ''i can't seem to stay me'' which was sorta the origin of why i picked this one #so there ya go #the first half is a lil rough ngl.i recognize this and if u make fun of me ill cry right on ur person #i thought i hated editing but it turns out once u have a halfway decent editing program the process Doesn't make u wanna cry #i have another song in mind but im not sure there's rly enough footage of what i want for it ... hrrmm #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #shigeo kageyama #mp100 mob #mp100 shigeo #flashing #<- dunno if it's necessary but just to be sure #i do kinda like that amvs take way less time than most of my other hobbies #like art takes forever building anything in any game takes centuries writing can take a long time depending on the length #but u can kinda just whip up an amv in one sitting if u know what ur doing #i Didn't know what i was doing when making This so it took me a couple days but ! now i know the basics of the program so yay

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devondespresso · 1 year

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i was reading a scoops era steddie au where eddie visits scoops often and one thing i noticed i alway want but have yet to see (bear in mind my fic pallette is basically just shit i see on Tumblr and occasionally reading every fic a certain author has written) is a specific scene of eddie noticing stobins missing when he goes to visit them at scoops the day theyre stuck in the bunker. cause they entered the bunker after a shift one night and didn't get out until at the soonest the next afternoon right before the mall closes so if either or both of them were scheduled to work then they'd be just... gone.

and how characters around them handle that depends on how soon (if at all) they're declared missing. did robin think they'd be in-and-out in their snooping and tell her parents shes be back a little late or did she think they'd be out kinda late fucking around and just lied to her parents telling them shes sleeping over at a friend's like how we know tina was going to cover for erica? did mrs Henderson freak out when Dustin didn't bike back home (knowing what happened with will) or did she know he was with steve and trusted that they were goofing off or something?

and usually i see Steve's parents not being home but what if they were?? they could panic because steve always has some sort of excuse for why hes gone or maybe just his mom starts worrying because while his dad never really asks about him she does and she knows hes probably not at some girls house right now because he at least would have told her. or maybe mrs harrington doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does and assumes he is out at some girls house and is relieved hes finally getting to be more like himself.

maybe just one or two people in scoops troop are reported missing that night and maybe the search started for them is enough for the other's parents or friends to realize they're all missing. maybe none of them are because they each already had a coverup with the people who'd notice. maybe they spent a good few hours in that elevator regretting lying about where they'd be because now no one knows they're in danger and by the time they start looking it could be too late (obviously erica didn't seem to grasp this yet but shes literally 10 and it's definitely her fist severely traumatic life or death experience. for the others tho it could definitely be on their minds and i have seen a few fics where robin wonders about how steve and Dustin are reacting like they've done scary shit like this before together)

then morning comes and id give it until lunch with no calls or anything before parents who believed their kids were sleeping over to start worrying seriously. maybe they call the friend their child's supposedly with and get a confused parent saying they haven't seen them or maybe they get the friend picking up and confirming they're fine (like tina). but if Mrs Henderson gets worried and calls steve she'll either get the harringtons saying he isn't home right now or she won't be able to reach him. and knowing steves like a big brother and a best friend to dustin knows that if steve missing too he's probably at least missing with him and goes to the station worried about them both

and then theres the fact that scoops has to open in the morning, probably sometime around 10am. maybe steve and robin were scheduled to both work again and as 10am comes and passes scoops ahoy hasn't been touched. maybe some mall manager calls the scoops manager (forgive me ive never worked in a mall but i do work in a store-within-a-store and we have our own manager plus the big store manager) and asks where their employees are. if missing persons reports were filed that last night then the manager would be really worried while frantically trying to find someone to cover for them. but maybe no one knows they're missing yet and their manager is grumbling about their no-shows, maybe considering firing them for both disappearing without even calling out. depending on how much they know and if the reports were filed, whoever has to cover their shifts is either worried about their coworkers (probably moreso robin than steve because of his reputation) or utterly pissed that they both didn't show and they have to open scoops ahoy with a few hours delay and probably a good few karens bitching about being closed. or maybe one or the other was scheduled and while their no-show is really inconvenient at least someone's there to open and ask for backup

and then theres steves car still parked in the back where it was the day before. a bike left behind at the mall is less eyebrow-raising but a fancy car? Steve Harrington's car? Steve Harrington who was scheduled to work today but somehow isn't in scoops right now? is he skipping work while simultaneously wandering around his workplace? and whats worse is despite evidence being there *no one can find him*. maybe thats what it takes for people to realize hes like actually missing. maybe they think he was kidnapped, hopefully he just went home with some girl and lost track of time.

and then theres eddie. eddie whos been stopping by scoops for a while now. maybe he still doesn't really like Harrington but likes teasing him with Buckley or maybe they've gotten pretty close. maybe they're already dating. maybe eddie walks up to scoops one morning to find it closed or to find that one or the other didn't show up for work this morning. maybe he hears from the worker that ones missing or maybe they get a rant about how pissed the worker is to be opening alone. maybe he's the one to go to a mall manager or security officer worried about scoops being closed because he *knows* the people that are supposed to be there right now and they don't just abandon work at the same time with no explanations.

or maybe eddie visits in the afternoons and learns they're missing from their coworkers or maybe hes there because he saw it on the news and went on his our hunt. either way it'd probably end with Eddie looking around the mall for them because he knows steve isn't going to just abandon his beemer in a busy public parking lot. maybe he finds them high out of their minds while checking the movie theatre (this one i do see a lot and am obsessed with its so good) or maybe he doesn't find them at all (its a big mall and they are actively hiding from Russians who know they escaped. sure stobin are not being very secretive while high but dustin and erica are at least keeping them in less-discoverable locations). maybe he goes home knowing hes looked everywhere in that damn mall and assumes they're probably kidnapped and taken somewhere else (if he did find them tho that opens a whole can of worms for if, how, and how much eddie gets involved and while my brains gone down sone of those rabbit holes i don't think i will today)

and then they see the news about the mall fire. and eddie knows damn well that he looked everywhere in that mall but didn't see a trace of his friends but there they are on the news and apparently in the fire. maybe eddie assumes he didn't look hard enough. but maybe he sees how steves the only one with more than a few bruises on his legs, how despite them claiming he was trapped in rumble that also allegedly killed billy hargrove he looks like hes carrying himself on adrenaline alone and hovering around robin and the kids like something more than falling support beams could get to them. maybe its the fact that he look as shit as he did but wasn't laying down on a hospital stretcher like he would be if he just got those wounds.

_._._._

hi if you saw any typos no you didn't UNLESS theyre funny or actually concerning then you should tell me and i can react appropriately

also i swear i feel like doctor strange looking through every possible reality when i go on tangents like this. idk whenever i come up with little fics in my head or come up with different ways my favorite unfinished fics could end im always exploring as many different versions of the same scenario as i can and coming up with as many what-ifs as i can.

also i pressed the poll button by accident while making this and idk how to make it go away to we're trying just ignoring it and not writing anything in it to see if it goes away

actually fuck that it probably wont work so im adding a poll question as a treat for the people who read this far

#writing this was an experience except i don't remember any of it and i didn't even reread it to check spelling #i love thinking like this tho and coming up with all these different things that could happen with this one scenario #and following canon and trying to fill in the gaps gives just enough room to fuck around but still keeps me in the right direction #with just a couple deviations that are too good to ignore like eddie finding stobin while theyre high and getting water #im also writing my own little steve henderson au universe in my head loosely inspired by those steve henderson posts by that one person #i can't remember their user rn but if i ever actually share ill tag them as inspiration inlike the first post #but mostly its me taking steve right after s2 events and letting him get help from the hendersons because dustins his new best friend now #(regardless of if he agreed to it or not)#so uh yea if anyone wants to hear about it you should totally let me know because i will do a lot for external validation #im just an 8 year old girl playing barbies but morbid things are happening #stranger things #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #platonic stobin #steve x eddie #robin buckley #dustin henderson #erica sinclair #steve and dustin #steve and robin #platonic soulmates stobin #scoops ahoy #stranger things season 3 #stranger things s3 #stranger things rambles #claudia henderson #steve has bad parents #mrs harrington #stranger things thoughts

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s2pdoktopus · 1 month

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A comic thingy of @wallatile-qvibbler's "Fall for a Shooting Star" for what feels like three of us SakaTaka enjoyers <3

#when I said 'I'll whip something better for them' i meant 'I'll draw something good that already exists'#sakamoto tatsuma #takasugi shinsuke #sakataka #i want more of them but I can't write?? I don't even know what this contributes to our desolate sakataka rarepair hell #I'm just satisfying my compulsion to draw them #i hope I get over them soon XD #gintama #i believe that that kiss was Takasugi's payback for getting rejected earlier #like sure he was deaged to seventeen trying to kiss his now 20 maybe going thirties crush #and he probably found out right then that Tatsuma still likes him #BUT how dare he reject Takasugi?!#my sakataka jam apparently is takasugi crowding tatsuma...

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johnslittlespoon · 10 days

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it's almost time. when? idk, when i stop being a coward LOL

#would be kinda funny if i waited to post it on 4/20 like haha happy bday curt *lights blunt*#genuinely can't bring myself to hit post tho been staring at it all day #it's so much scarier than posting a oneshot i want to do this right and i want to do the way i see them in my head justice #posting my writing never gets less nervewracking for me #like oh hello strangers and friends i just poured my heart out onto a page and now i'm offering it up with shaking hands #and i'm trying very hard to be normal about it because it's not that deep but also i care very much SJDGJK #but i think i'll post it before tonight i just feel NAUSEOUS #still need to write an end note anyway #i'm fr just yapping to stall atp LMAO #dog coded bucky fic #johnslittlespoon yaps #i'm also like what if it doesn't live up to expectations. LIKE YEAH WHAT IF. the world goes on. but i will be so hard on myself bruh

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sophsicle · 1 year

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here is my advice to writers. never listen to anything any writing advice post on this website tells you.

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werewolves-are-real · 3 months

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I keep promising myself that ONE DAY, I will do enough research into 1800s China to write a proper Temeraire fic taking place there. But there's sooooo much I would want to research first. Even if I skimmed over court details as much as possible - which I don't want to do, tbh - it would just feel very shallow. And it's hard to properly flesh out any characters without any understanding of court life, dynamics between different classes... also just, you know, common beliefs? Attitudes? Religious beliefs too, etc etc.

One day! Hopefully. And we just get so little of Mianning (much less the other Chinese characters) it's hard to do them justice :( Doesn't help that no one really wants to tell Laurence or the aviators what they're actually thinking lol.

#I have some small bits from a fic I want to do #basically with confused amnesiac pre-Temeraire Laurence #who saves the prince's life and gets basically adopted into the royal family #then formally adopted when Temeraire hatches #right around the time his memory comes back and he gets to go back to England #hey I'm alive and a prince now here's my dragon #making his introduction to the Corps 100x as wild #and also after China Laurence disapproves SO much of barbaric England dragon-rearing #what do you mean you don't even cook their food??#Raw meat? Xiang is a prince too thank you #- But I want to do a LOT of stuff in China first and really build the relationship with Mianning as a main character #(and a growing complex dislike of Yongxing who loathes him at first sight)#but also not wholly without reason become missionaries opium etc etc #suspicious amnesia backstory etc #and I can't write any of that properly without! So much research!#I am too lazy for this sigh

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lets-try-some-writing · 1 year

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Yo what are your thoughts on Decepticon Optimus? because I enjoy daydreaming about Optimus who decided to go disguise himself as another bot and joined the Decepticons to get information since no one else wanted to do it.

I just find such a concept interesting

A fascinating idea, but unless we are talking about some messed up brainwashing, logically I see no real reason why Optimus would go undercover considering his size, rank, morality, and everything else. But I can try and come up with a reasonable explanation since this is such a neat idea.

Undercover

After a particularly nasty battle, Optimus was out of commission. His armor was shredded and a good portion of his frame melted or otherwise misshapen in some way, shape, or form. His injuries could be repaired and he could still fight, but the demoralization that would come from him looking so horribly mutilated on the battlefield wasn't worth it. Not only that, but preparing the necessary materials and specialists to fix all the damage to his frame, cosmetic and practical, would take quite some time. And so at a meeting trying to determine the best course of action, Jazz piped up from the back.

Jazz: Why not make the best of this situation and send Prime out to the Decepticons undercover?

Ratchet: *choking on his drink* Send him WHAT?!?!

Jazz: Yeah, he don't look anything like himself at the moment, no offense Prime.

Optimus: *nodding along in understanding* None taken.

Jazz: So wouldn't it make sense to slap some new armor and paint on him and have him go undercover gathering info while we prep the medics? I have just the mission for him!

Prowl: We are NOT sending our Prime behind enemy lines. What will our soldiers think? The loss of morale would be devastating.

Jazz: *kicking his legs up onto the table* Just say Prime is doing some spiritual stuff and spread some rumors about something big happening. Then leave Magnus in charge and no bot will question Prime being gone for a while.

Ultra Magnus: *scowling* Optimus has received no training for such a position and he would be left incredibly vulnerable should he be discovered.

Jazz: Basic integration and stealth training takes three weeks at most, and Prime was an Archivist when he was still a civilian. I'm sure he can figure out how to get the data without the additional training in that department.

Optimus: *nodding as if it is the simplest thing in the world* He has a pretty good point.

Everyone else: WHAT!?!?

And so against almost everyone's better judgement, Optimus was sent off to train with Jazz, and then a month later, refitted to suite his new position. The Decepticons were always looking for new warriors, so all Jazz had to do was reformat Optimus (a process that was not at all difficult considering that the Prime had no real armor so to speak of), give him some basic training to integrate into his new armor, and then send him off.

When Optimus left base he was a sight to behold. No longer did he look graceful or have regal nobility, he instead looked heavy duty, dangerous, and ready to kill. His frame had been reformatted to be boxier, sturdier, and less elegant, his optics having special visor glass put over them to give the impression of them being red to really sell it. His paint was black and gray, with accenting red on his windshields and on his new axe. And on top of it all, he had chosen a cold and calculating personality to use, one not so murderous as to be a threat to Megatron, but also not so intelligent as to be a danger to the higher ranks.

With a status beacon imbedded directly into his processing units to alert the Autobots to his welfare at all times and a set of directions to a meeting place should he gather any intel, Optimus made his way to a Decepticon outpost. His insignia had been scrubbed and so he was not shot on sight, instead being brought to the local Decepticon officer once he made his intention to join up clear. After a quick glance at his forged documents and a spar with a Vehicon, Optimus was accepted into the Decepticon ranks under the name Nemesis. And while not exactly his intention, after dealing with a great many internal issues in the Decepticon order, more so by accident and due to his slight OCD than anything else, he rose through the ranks.

He regularly brought Jazz any information he gathered and took great care to ensure that other dangerous Decepticons took the fall for his actions. It was... difficult for him to not allow his strong morals to impede his work, but he did what he could. He kept up the ruse that he was a cold calculating individual, but to ease his own spark he threw in a deep sense of brotherhood and comradery into his new personality. He helped his Decepticon comrades, eventually befriending a majority of the Vehicons, gaining their collective respect upon going out of his way and saving them numerous times. He became the emotional support bot for the younger Decepticons who started to doubt the cause and the older ones who suffered from the loss of friends and family (he always found a way to smuggle the truly good sparked ones out of the Decepticon order, sending them to the Autobots under his name). And when on the battlefield he made his engagements look like the most intense battles ever conceived, only ever holding the line but never gaining or losing territory for the Decepticons. It was perfect to maintain his position but never raise any serious suspicion.

Eventually he caught the optics of Starscream and his trine who admired him not for his (nonexistent) kill count, but for his loyalty, skill in battle, and brilliance in dealing with morale among the troops. With Starscream's favor, Nemesis rose past the lower ranks and found himself serving directly under the seeker despite not being a flight frame. He didn't understand, but for whatever reason, Starscream liked him and that suited Nemesis just fine. With time he even found himself liking the seeker after he came to understand that his arrogance was largely a defense mechanism. They became incredibly close in only a few short months as Nemesis saved Starscream from numerous punishments from Megatron. They only grew closer after the death of Starscream's trinemates, leaving Nemesis as the only mech Starscream was willing to rely upon. They became brothers of a sort, and that made Nemesis's position difficult.

Eventually the lines between Nemesis and Optimus began to blur. Nemesis became part of Optimus, giving the Prime a more cynical and analytical outlook, one based more on reality instead of hopes. And Optimus gave Nemesis the morality and the empathy needed to allow him to bond with those around him while not falling into their influence. The two personalities were set apart, but quickly began to bleed into one another. By the time Nemesis was given the order to return, he found himself reluctant. He had bonded with his Decepticon brethren and he, while not caring for their goals or at all liking their actions, found himself attached. He didn't want to abandon them, not when the Vehicons would be abused and Starscream would be left all alone. And so eventually, Nemesis made a choice.

Jazz: Good to see you again Prime! You've done excellent work! But we got the medics all ready for you now, so you don't need to hide out anymore!

Optimus/Nemesis: In regards to that topic... I do not wish to leave the Decepticons.

Jazz: *sputtering* w-what?!

Optimus/Nemesis: Do not mistake my words, I hold no love for Megatron, his inner circle, or anything they stand for... but there are innocent mecha suffering under his rule. I cannot leave them, they need me.

Jazz: But Prime! We need you too!

Optimus/Nemesis: I am well aware of that, and that is why I would like to propose a compromise.

Few were pleased with the development, but none could argue with the end results of Optimus's plan. He got the necessary repairs to return to his duties as Prime, but at the same time, he also got some special upgrades to allow him to return to his position as Nemesis. He spent half his time as Optimus, leading his Autobots, raising and training Bumblebee, and keeping up morale. But the other half of the time he was Nemesis, an officer serving directly under Air Commander Starscream and silently collecting data.

The excuse Optimus gave to continue living both his alternate lives was interesting to say the least. To the Autobots, when Optimus wasn't around, he was communing with Primus and recovering from the long term affects of his wounds. Bumblebee didn't question his Sire leaving, he was no sparkling by the time Optimus was initially damaged and he was fully capable of operating alone. So long as he got affection and could see Optimus semi-regularly, he was content. Optimus's inner circle were less happy about the arrangement, but the data they received and the near constant flow of new bots smuggled out of Decepticon ranks soothed their irritation. Of course Ratchet was the least happy but he managed by having the status beacon available for him to view Optimus's health at all times.

To the Decepticons, Nemesis dropped off the map sometimes and that was just a thing that happened. No Decepticon cared enough to bother him about it since the Vehicons never said anything to superior officers and he always came back with either energon or some interesting item. Nemesis wasn't important enough for Megatron to give a frag beyond pushing Starscream around more since his bodyguard wasn't present. And Soundwave while suspicious just decided to leave the issue alone since Nemesis's presence only did good things for morale and efficiency. Starscream was less than pleased and incredibly suspicious about Nemesis's frequent disappearances, but he also never said anything for fear of losing his one remaining friend. He knew something was up and that his close friend and brother in all but CNA was hiding a secret, but despite having the ability to pry and discover the truth, he never did so. Instead he played along with Nemesis's excuses and accepted the increased affection and care from Nemesis upon his return.

Optimus/Nemesis played his roles without much issue for much of the war... that was until the Allspark had to be sent away. At that point both factions were preparing to leave Cybertron and Optimus had no choice but to pick which life he was going to stick with. He knew what he had to choose in the end, he made peace with that fact long ago. But that didn't stop him from spending his last few months as Nemesis doing everything in his power to prepare many a failsafe and all sorts of hidden escape routes for the Vehicons to use without him there to get them out of trouble. He scrubbed sensitive information regarding his subordinates to keep them from being blackmailed. And he also went out of his way to spend time with the remaining Vehicons, Soundwave's cassettes (who had taken a liking to him over time), and of course, Starscream.

Every moment he could spare, Nemesis spent with Starscream. He became incredibly affectionate, showering his brother in love and giving him little gifts. Starscream was suspicious but accepted it as Nemesis dealing with the loss of the Allspark in his own way. Little did he know that Nemesis was quietly preparing for his "death" and attempting to ease his "passing" as much as possible. He even wrote out letters to various Vehicons, Soundwave's cassettes, and Starscream. He made several albums with photos he had taken of and with his Decepticon friends and comrades for them to find after his "death". And lastly he prepared the necessary evidence to make his "death" look like a suicide instead of anything else. He didn't want Starscream or any of his other loved ones growing bitter, no, he wanted them to be able to move on, so he made sure to specify that his "death" was not the fault of any bot in particular. But before Nemesis enacted his plan, he spoke with Starscream one last time.

Nemesis: Starscream... I want you to know that I have always seen you as a brother and friend. Your companionship has been invaluable to me, and I am glad to have spent all these vorns by your side.

Starscream: *raising his eyebrow in suspicion* And what brought all this flattery on? You aren't planning on defecting are you?

Nemesis: *shaking his helm* No, nothing like that... I just thought it was best that I tell you the truth of how I feel. With the Allspark gone and the war still raging, it felt appropriate to say before it is too late.

Starscream: You aren't the emotional type Nemesis. Is something wrong?

Nemesis: All sorts of things, but you need not worry yourself. I will handle it on my own.

Starscream: ... If you say so... but if you need me to come beat some bot for you, just give the word.

Nemesis: Of course Starscream...

Nemesis quietly left later that same day. He purposefully left tracks leading toward a quiet location and set up the scene. A lifeless protoform made to look like him set up with a blade through its spark chamber. Energon was injected into the protoform to make it pour out of the wounds and Optimus left the body with a note that would seem convincing. He did not linger and cried silently in his quarters on the Ark when the cameras he set up around the body picked up Starscream's reaction. He was unable to watch for long as Starscream tenderly cradled the protoform with tears streaming from his optics.

Optimus moved on and did not look back, locking away the entirety of the personality he developed to be Nemesis and throwing himself into his work to try and ease the pain of knowing he abandoned so many mecha. He focused all his attention on the war effort and fleeing Cybertron, doing everything he could to not think about all he lost. But still he found himself going to Ratchet, the only other mech left who knew what he did to cry and pour out all his woes. He hated doing it, he hated having to burden Ratchet, but he couldn't help it. He missed ST3V3 the careless Vehicon and his brethren, he yearned for a chance to play cards with the cassettes, and he longed to comfort Starscream as he once did. Not even giving all his attention to Bumblebee and the team eased the pain entirely.

But Optimus has always been good at hiding his emotions, and so with time and after his arrival to earth with his team, he looked and acted as thought nothing was wrong. He fought on the battlefield as he always did, but after so many centuries of making his fighting far more extravagant than necessary, he learned to make his blows seem far more vicious than they actually were. He never cut down a Vehicon with the intent to kill them, only to inflict minor damage. And when Starscream came to battle, Optimus could never bring himself to harm the seeker in any significant manner and often left combat to the rest of his team. It hurt more than he cared to admit having to interact with his brother in all but CNA and have the seeker believe him to be dead.

He could see the pain in Starscream's optics, he could feel the sorrow. He knew Starscream well enough to know that his viciousness and manipulative behavior stemmed from his loneliness, only serving to make Optimus feel worse. Still he continued on, never daring to linger on his old attachment for long and only ever offering the Decepticons aside from Megatron and Soundwave the opportunity to flee when possible as his gift to them. All the anger he felt toward having to be torn away from his family on the nemesis he directed at Megatron instead.

No one save Ratchet knew of Optimus's time as Nemesis. No one needed to know. But when Megatron fell further into his madness and began openly hurting his followers, Optimus couldn't stand it. And for the first time since he left, Nemesis took control. His violence increased exponentially, and without any remorse he fought with the intent to tear Megatron limb from limb. His fighting style shifted and Nemesis took the place of Optimus Prime, standing up to protect Starscream and his Vehicons from Megatron in the middle of battle.

Nemesis/Optimus: *throwing Megatron away in rage* ENOUGH!

Ratchet: Optimus what are you doing!?

Nemesis/Optimus: *pointing at Megatron with his axe while speaking in an eerily cold tone* Touch him again and I will end you. I have no tolerance toward those who would harm my brothers.

Starscream: *looking up at Optimus from his place on the ground in mixed confusion, awe, and fear* Brothers?!?

It was never explicitly made clear, but as it happened again and again, slowly the puzzle began to fit together. Eventually both Autobots and Decepticons who were unaware came to put Nemesis and Optimus Prime together.

#maccadam #transformers #transformers prime #alternate universe #secret identity #nemesis prime #optimus prime #ratchet #starscream #undercover au #i can't help but want starscream and optimus to be friends #they both need eachother #i stand by that belief #angst #more secret identity stuff huh #I just can't seem to write much else right now

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