#i tried text to speak for like a medical update just bc I don’t think I’ve really done that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hongism · 5 years

Text

not your typical flower shop story chapter two

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Flower Shop Owner!Taehyung, College!Reader, College!Taehyung, Fluff, Angst, Future Smut

Word Count: 6055

Rating: M

Warnings: mild language

Summary: You always goes to the cute boy next door’s flower shop across the street because hi yes he’s the cutest damn person you’ve ever seen, until one day a guy with tattoos and a severe obsession with the color black shows up in the shop asking for the ‘usual’ and you find out that your cute innocent little flower boy has a dirty little secret.

A/N: okay tbh i didn’t write an outline for this so i just wrote whatever to my mind and let the story take me where it wanted to go. I’m hugely overwhelmed by the support you guys have given to the first part! and hahahahahhaahahh yoongi isn’t a bad boy whOOPS, i wanted to kinda break that stereotype and throw you for a loop lol. And I’m super excited to see where it goes! I am bumping the rating up, because i kinda expect it to get more mature as it progresses and possibly have future smut but??? I’m anxious about that bc i’ve never written smut askfskdjf we will see where it goes!! Onto the story~

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"Here's some hot tea. I don't know if you like that kind of thing. Um, it's peppermint flavored." Taehyung passes a steaming mug your way, but you don't reach out to accept it. You refuse to look in his direction in fact and opt to pull the wool blanket draped around your shoulders closer to your body as though it will take the coldness out of your skin. Taehyung sighs and sets the mug on the coffee table before you. "Y/N..." He trails off without finishing whatever train of thought he had, and instead moves to sit on the couch beside the chair where you sit.

Wood squeaks, protesting against movement that does not belong to Taehyung, but rather Yoongi, who occupies the chair directly across from yours. You lift your gaze to look him in the eye. The furrow of his brows shows the evident concern that both him and Taehyung must be feeling, but too much is running through your system at the moment and you can't bring yourself to care all too much.

The events that followed your text are still a blur, and you aren't sure the memories will ever return to you.

read

That small, supposedly insignificant word remains emblazoned at the forefront of your thoughts. How are you supposed to focus on whatever was happening outside the shock of seeing that word beside your texts after going so long without it? To put it simply: you aren't, and you won't.

You blink at the coffee table, looking past the steaming mug of tea Taehyung set down and towards the identical black objects a bit further down.

"You have a gun," you say at last, eyes fluttering shut as reality slowly settles in.

"Y/N, I can ex—”

"I must be dreaming. Or losing my mind. Maybe this is all a hallucination, and I've finally lost it."

"I know this is a lot to handle, and I'm truly sorry for putting you in a position where you could have been hurt." Taehyung scoots forward and tries to lessen the distance between the two of you, but you lean away from him in response. "I can explain."

"Explain what? The boy across the street who sells flowers for a living — and is my neighbor — has a gun on his coffee table. Not only that, he brought said gun to dinner with me. Then there was an armed robbery at the diner, and I had to text your "friend" in code." You shake your head as you speak, unable to process the words yourself. "You're a drug dealer. My neighbor is a drug dealer."

"I'm not a drug dealer!" Taehyung protests.

"Part of the mafia? A gang? Nothing else explains why you would carry a gun, talk in code with your supposed friend, and talk about drugs in your texts!"

"That's not—it wasn't—I have an explanation." Taehyung stands up and brings his hands to his face as though pleading you to hear him out.

"I'm gonna die."

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

"You're gonna kill me to keep me quiet," you reason. "I can't do this."

"No—Y/N, no one is going to kill you." Yoongi cuts into the conversation, pulling your attention off Taehyung with his raspy tone. You press your lips together. "Taehyung, let me explain."

"I'm the one who got her into this mess though! I should be the one to explain," Taehyung argues. He falls back onto the couch, arms falling to the cushions, and heaves a deep sigh.

"It's not your fault that robber came into the diner tonight. There is no way you could've known that was going to happen, okay? Listen: you need a breather as much as Y/N does, so let me explain what's going on."

"Okay, okay." Taehyung relents, and his eyes find you again. You look straight ahead though, chin a bit dipped, and stare at the black combat boots that came to the table you were crouched under at the diner and the pale hands that pulled you out from under it to tell you that it was over.

The faint scent of cinnamon touches your nose as you sniffle, and you acknowledge the smell for the first time since coming to Taehyung's apartment. Warm. Cozy. Safe. Except you are anything but safe right now, and nothing about this situation feels comfortable or warm.

"Y/N, Taehyung is not part of the mafia or anything like that. Neither am I. We aren't drug dealers either, and there are no gangs. It's just a concealed handgun—”

"That's not legal here though," you interrupt. Another surge of panic rushes through you at the idea of being involved in something illegal. That could mean that I won't be able to visit the hospital anymore, even if it is just the front lobby. Maybe they'll kick me out of university too. Fire me from my job. Then what? I can't pay the medical bills if that happens. I'm fucked.

"You really aren't making this easy, Y/N." Yoongi rubs his forehand, exposing the pale skin under his jacket, and you spot more black ink across it.

"Well, I'm sorry but how in the hell is any part of this situation supposed to be easy?"

"Okay. Fine. I am going to give you two options then. The first: drink the tea and regain your strength, then go back to your apartment and act like this never happened. The second—”

"Done," you say before Yoongi can finishing explaining anything else. You jolt forward and snatch the mug from the table. The liquid burns your tongue and tastes like fire as it goes down your throat, but none of that is important in the moment. You just want to get out of here. Away from Taehyung, away from Yoongi, and away from the guns. The table trembles when you slam the mug back down against the surface. Both Taehyung and Yoongi wear similar expressions of wide eyes and dropped jaws. "Thanks for the tea, and thanks for saving my life I guess. I'll be leaving now." You hop up from the chair, blanket falling off your shoulders as you do, and head for the door without sparing either man another glance.

Then you're out the door and moving towards your own apartment with uncertain steps and weak knees.

I don't want to know, you tell yourself as you fumble with your keys and struggle to get the door unlocked. I don't need to know. Whatever the hell Taehyung is doing does not matter to me. It doesn't involve me. The less I know the better. You burst into your apartment, and the door slams against the wall hard enough to leave another dent in the plaster. It truly is in your best interest to walk away from Taehyung and Yoongi, ignore them and whatever insane life they're living, and focus on yourself. You don't need flowers anymore.

Hifumi is right. I shouldn't be wasting my money on flowers anyways. I should be saving the money for the medical bills. I should focus more on my studies.

The abrupt scream that leaves your lips surprises you. You aren't sure why the noise escapes — maybe the frustration and panic surrounding your situation or the realization that someone is reading your messages now of all times. Why now? I didn't get any calls from the hospital, they didn't give me any updates, so why? Why is this happening? Why tonight?

Knocking interrupts your train of thought, and the force behind it is so strong that you fear whoever is behind is may break the door. Your heart feels like it's beating in time with the rapid knocks. As you stand in the dark, part of you wants the night to be over and for you to wake up to find that it was all a dream. The other part panics because who the hell would be knocking at your door at this hour? Was it the robber from the diner? Did he follow you back here? Or maybe someone else is here to kill you.

"Y/N, open the damn door!" Taehyung, it's Taehyung's voice. Thank goodness. You stumble towards the door, and in your moment of panic, you forget about your intentions of putting Taehyung out of your life. Twisting the handle, you pull the door open to reveal Taehyung's face behind it. He pushes past you and into the apartment, leaving you to look at Yoongi, who stood hidden behind Taehyung.

"Are you alright?" Yoongi inquires. He stretches an arm out to touch your shoulder, but you shy away from his grasp.

"I'm fine. What's the problem?"

Taehyung rushes around your apartment, scouting out every corner and crevice in sight, and once everything is searched to his liking, he stops to look at you.

"Is someone here? Did something happen? Why did you scream?" He interrogates. You glance down at his hand, spotting the black outline of a gun in his grasp. When you turn back to Yoongi, you spot the same object tucked into the waistband of his pants.

"Di-Did you think—” you stop yourself as the lingering contents in your stomach churn. "No one is here. I'm alone." Why did he have to mention that? What if someone really is here? Dammit there's no way in hell I'll be able to sleep tonight.

"We heard you scream. I thought something happened," Taehyung explains. He tucks the gun behind his back, no doubt placing it in his waistband as Yoongi did. "Y/N, I know you would rather put this out of sight and out of mind. That's fine with me. If you really want to do that, then I won't stop you. Please, though, please stay at my apartment tonight. I need the peace of mind. It's the last thing you have to do for me, and after tonight, we don't ever have to talk again." You fold your arms over your chest. The plea sinks into your skin, and you stand in contemplation of the possibilities as Taehyung waits for your answer with bated breath. No. At least, that is what you ought to say. The puppy dog eyes — those damn puppy dog eyes — are present. How can I say no when he's looking at me like that?

"I—look, you're right next door. Isn't that safe enough for you? Even if it's not, why can't you just stay in my living room? Why do I have to go over to your apartment?" Arms fall to your sides, and you blink at Taehyung. He sighs, fingers coming up to tug at his loose hair, then looks behind you.

"My apartment is safer, Y/N."

"What? Do you have iron bars over the bedroom windows or something?" The man stays quiet in the face of your accusation, exchanging a glance with Yoongi. "Oh my gosh, you have got to be kidding me. Taehyung, is that even allowed here?"

"Can we ignore that for now?"

"Fine, fine! Just let me change clothes, okay?" You sigh and scoot past him to get to your bedroom. Taehyung prevents you from making it to the door, taking quick steps to reach the wood before you do.

"What if someone is in there? Let me go first. I'll check it out." He jiggles the handle to no avail because you locked the door before leaving this afternoon. Without a word, he finds you with his eyes and waits. The sigh that leaves your lips is a long one, and after that, you unlock the door for him and pray that your room is in a decent enough condition to be seen. Then again, if someone really is in your room, then they've already seen the disaster inside so you shouldn't care all too much. Taehyung bursts into your bedroom with gun in hand, and you nearly scream at the suddenness of his action. The ease and fluidity of his actions shows that this is something he has done before, and he's done it enough times to be comfortable with it. If your heart could plummet any further in dread, it would. After everything that has happened this evening though, you think it's safe to say that you've reached your limit for dread and panic for the rest of the month.

"If it makes you feel any better, he's like this all the time." Yoongi appears at your side. You don't hear him approach, and the darkness in your apartment makes him blend in a bit too much for your liking since he's wearing an obscene amount of black. You jump, hand coming to your chest when he speaks. His eyes widen at your reaction, then fall to a relaxed state again after a moment. "Sorry, I do that a lot."

"I don't wanna know," you claim. Yoongi sends an indiscernible look your way, and you have to remind yourself that it's the truth even though there is curiosity in you that truly does want to know what the hell is going on with Taehyung. "I just want to go to bed and wake up tomorrow as though this didn't happen."

"Is that how you handle all your problems?" Yoongi asks as he watches Taehyung analyze every inch of your bedroom.

"It's the best way to handle problems," you counter. Heat rises on your cheeks, and you begin to feel a bit sheepish for acting so dramatic.

"Really? Let me know how that works out for you in the long run."

"I won't because this is the last time we'll be seeing each other." Again, Yoongi looks at you, and this time a smirk plays at his lips.

"Okay, Y/N."

"Hey, the violets look really nice!" Taehyung's voice cuts through your conversation. He grins at you from the doorway of your bedroom, the boxy smile seeming out of place alongside the gun in his hand. He tucks the weapon back into his waistband, then says, "It looks safe though, so you can go ahead and get whatever you need for the night."

"Oh, uh, thanks." You slide past him to get into your room, glad to see that it isn't as much of a mess as you thought it was. "Can you give me a few minutes? To use the bathroom and stuff?" Taehyung nods and hastily steps back into the living room alongside Yoongi. Shutting the door in their faces feels awkward but the moment of privacy makes it worth it. You head for the bathroom but once you get there, you sit on the floor to stare at your phone, the message you sent earlier still bearing the small insignificant word next to the block of text.

It can't be him. There's no way. The hospital would've called. Someone must have stolen the phone.

You force your shaking fingers to type out another message.

from y/n, 10:49 p.m. unread

- who is reading my messages? why? what do you want? why do you have this phone?

from y/n, 10:49 p.m. unread

- i know you can't be the actual owner of the phone because i would know if you were. answer me before the morning or i will call the cops.

Breathe, just breathe, Y/N. You place your phone back in your lap. The amount of time you have left before Taehyung starts to panic and think that someone snatched you from the apartment is dwindling, so you pull yourself to your feet and leave the bathroom. It's cold when you step back into your bedroom, but you like it that way typically, so you shouldn't complain. Tonight, however, it doesn't feel right; nothing does. The air filling your lungs, the cold touching your skin, the methodical rhythm of your heart straining against the confines of your rib cage.

You strip down to your undergarments slowly, peeling each layer away one by one, then you remain in the center of your room. Standing. Thinking. Wondering what the hell happened tonight still because you can't wrap your brain around it. The fan above your head is quiet, so quiet that you can hear Taehyung's voice through the wood of your door.

"She's taking too long, Yoongi."

"Leave her be for a few, Tae. I'm sure she's fine."

"What are we gonna tell the others?"

"Nothing for now. Eventually you'll have to say that you screwed up tonight."

"I screwed up? What the hell did I do?"

"You know the rules! You should've kept your ass in that booth and messaged Tower instead." Tower? Who in the hell…

"I couldn't do that. Y/N looked way too terrified for me to just sit there and wait for Tower to get off his ass for once."

"Hey, keep it down. She might be able to…” Yoongi's voice dies down and even as you press your ear to the door, you can't hear whatever they're saying anymore.

"I knew it," you mutter under your breath. "It's some sort of drug cartel or the mafia or a gang. Oh my gosh, one of my neighbors is a stripper and the other is a criminal. What the hell?" You are vaguely aware of the fact that you are standing in nothing but a bra and underwear while pressed against your door -- and it isn't hot and sexy in any kind of way because you're alone. The main struggle of this whole night is coping with the fact that your messages say "read" and there is no explanation as to why. Until now actually, because your phone buzzes on your bed, a ding resounds through the room, and you lunge for the device without thinking twice.

from y/n, 10:49 p.m. read

- who is reading my messages? why? what do you want? why do you have this phone?

from y/n, 10:49 p.m. read

- i know you can't be the actual owner of the phone because i would know if you were. answer me before the morning or i will call the cops.

"Okay, okay, okay. Y/N, don't panic. Just breathe." You let the device fall to the mattress again. Yet there is still a tremble in your hands as you pull a fresh set of clothes out of your dresser. Your knees still feel weak when you press your legs through the holes of the pants, and a distinct pain lingers in your chest. You wish you were numb, or that the cold would sever this feeling from your body.

No buzz emits from your phone again. You leave your bedroom, bearing sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. If the night's events had not occurred maybe you would be more concerned about the way you look in front of the cute innocent flower boy that is Taehyung. Correction — that was Taehyung, because he no longer holds that image in your mind.

He and Yoongi have moved to your kitchen counter, where one stands on either side of the counter and exchange hushed whispers. The sound of your door opening does not divert their attention, so you clear your throat albeit a bit awkwardly because intruding on such a seemingly serious conversation does not feel right.

"I, uh, I'm ready whenever you are." You shift your weight from foot to foot and stretch your arms away from your sides. The image resembles something a young child would do to get the attention of her parents. You feel like at child too, because of the way you are being coddled and protected by Taehyung and Yoongi. The focus doesn't stay on either man for long as your phone buzzes in your hand. Taehyung speaks but the words go in one ear and out the other as you read the message you just received.

from jimin, 11:05 p.m. read

- now that's not very fair, is it Y/N?

“Now that wasn’t very fair, was it, Y/N? C’mon, you gotta play fair!”

“I am! I haven’t done anything unfair. You’re the one who is supposed to be good at games, aren’t you?”

You stumble on thin air, grabbing hold of the door frame behind you to steady your wavering balance, and Taehyung stops talking at the sight of your blunder. Shit. Dammit. What the hell? There's no way…what the hell is going on?

"Y/N? Y/N! Hey, are you okay?" Taehyung's shouts grow increasingly louder as he gets closer to you.

"I'm fine," you hiss through gritted teeth. Gripping the wood tighter, you steady yourself and hold out your free hand to deter Taehyung from coming any closer. He pauses at the end of your hand, eyes lingering on the tips of your fingers then travelling up to your face. "I'm feeling a bit lightheaded from everything that's happened tonight."

"Come on, you can lay down as soon as we get back to my apartment." Taehyung wraps his fingers around the hand that you have extended. The warmth from his hand almost burns your cold fingers. He tugs you away from the door frame, and you lose your grip on it, knees locking as the support leaves you, but you manage to stay upright.

"I-I need to lock the door, Taehyung," you say when he pulls you into the hallway. You hold your keys out to prove your point, and Taehyung snatches them out of your hand before you can blink. He tosses them to Yoongi as he steps out to join the two of you in the hallway.

"And I need to make sure you're okay, Y/N." His features soften a bit as he looks down at you, a breathy sigh leaving his parted lips. "I feel responsible for what happened tonight. It's my fault for putting you in a position where you could be hurt, and it's my fault for letting you get this involved with things you're too good for. I'm sorry." The warmth of his hand leaves you, and the cold rushes back. You have to stop yourself from chasing the warmth of his touch.

"You couldn't have known that was going to happen," you argue.

"You really think so?" Taehyung's voice holds a melancholy thickness in it, and although he has his back turned to you now, you can picture the puppy dog eyes.

"Taehy—”

"I could've picked any other place and this wouldn't have happened."

"That can't change anything now, Taehyung. As upset as I am, I still want you to know that I don't blame you for anything that happened. There's no way you could've known."

"That's where you're wrong, Y/N. I should have known, and I should've said no to you when you asked to get dinner because I know how dangerous it is to know a person like me." Taehyung won't look at you as he speaks. You follow him into his apartment again, the warmth scent of cinnamon hitting your nose once more. Yoongi follows close behind, your keys hooked on his index finger and jingling as he twirls them around, and he snaps the door shut. "Yoongi has the right idea. You ought to act like this never happened after tonight, because that's the best way for you to be safe. I promise that I won't bring you into anything ever again. You should avoid coming to the flower shop too. There are other places to get bouquets if you still want them, but I don't think it's smart for you to keep coming to me when you don't trust me and I'm dangerous."

"I know," you mutter. "That's my plan." Taehyung shifts from foot to foot, then turns to face you.

"Good. Yea…that's good."

The clinking sound behind you ceases.

"I'm getting a call," Yoongi announces, clearing his throat before he speaks. "I'll be right back, Char—Tae." He stumbles on the name, the first syllable spilling out awkwardly before he rushes to correct himself. You don't bother looking in Yoongi's direction, instead focusing on the flash of panic that flashes through Taehyung's brown eyes. He notices your stare lingering.

"Uh, come on, I'll show you my room." He motions for you to follow him and leads the way to his room. "I'm sorry if it's a bit messy. I wasn't really expecting…well, never mind." Taehyung opens the door to a dark room, one with blue painted walls and a pale carpet spread across the wood floor. The room illuminates as Taehyung flicks the light switch on. A bit messy, no. It's not that, and you couldn't call it that even if you were being nice. The mess starts near the front door, a pile of clothes beside the entrance, and it continues to the bed where the sheets are pulled back and almost tugged off the mattress. A pile of papers scatter haphazardly on his desk, crumpled up balls of paper fall from the surface to the floor, missing the trash bin only a few feet away. Across the window, sure enough, lie five rows of iron bars, the handiwork obviously belonging to someone who isn't an engineer or architect by any means. You decide not to comment and pass a smile Taehyung's way instead.

"Don't worry about it," you say.

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"O-Oh, okay, well — uh just let me know if you do. I'll be right outside."

"Okay."

Taehyung glances over the mess again, and you see the internal debate etched across his features. He must talk himself out of picking anything up because he spins on his heel and steps out of the room, leaving you to stand alone. The two of you stare at each other. His grip tightens around the door knob. The tension hanging in the air thickens.

"Taeh—”

"Y/N—”

You speak at the same time. If the tension didn't exist, maybe both of you would laugh and urge each other to go ahead and speak first. Neither of you say anything though, voices dying in your throats. Taehyung pulls the door shut after a quiet apology, and you blink at the wood in shock.

"Oh." The sigh leaves your lips, a rush of air that feels warm against your cold mouth, and you turn away from the door. Sitting on the bed leaves a strange sensation in your gut, one that tells you that you don't belong here, this isn't your home, and even with the iron bars and Taehyung's promise of safety, you don't feel safe here. You're typing away at your phone in a frenzy now, mind reeling more and more as the night continues.

from y/n, 11:26 p.m. unread

- i know you aren't really him, because the hospital would've told me if anything happened. so quit playing games and tell me who you really are.

What happened that night...you don't want to relive any of those memories, and perhaps you can use that as your excuse as to why you never visited his room in the hospital. Facing the consequences of your mistakes and decisions would be far too difficult for you to handle. Besides, as you told Yoongi earlier, the best way to deal with your problems is to run away from them. Leaving a vase of flowers in the lobby with instructions on which room to deliver them to was enough. It is enough. You won't change your mind on that decision.

A series of soft knocks touch the door and your ears at the same time, and you look up from your lap. It opens without your permission, and you half expect Taehyung to step through, a rectangular grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes. Maybe he would start talking about violets again, or go on about which flowers do best this time of year. But no, you have no such luck, because it's Yoongi who steps in with another steaming mug in his hands.

"More tea from Taehyung. He didn't want to bother you anymore though." Yoongi lifts the mug as he walks closer to the bed. The scent of peppermint mixes with cinnamon, and you wrinkle your nose. If Yoongi notices, he doesn't mention it; instead, he places the mug on Taehyung's bedside table beside a couple balled up pieces of paper. "You know," he says, "I don't blame you for wanting to run away from this situation."

"Who says I'm running away?"

"Oh, my bad. Isn't that how you deal with your problems?"

"It's not running away," you hiss back, glaring up at the leather clad man before you. He tilts his head, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth up.

"No need to get feisty."

"Don't act like you know me. We met only a few hours ago."

"Don't act like I haven't heard of you before today." Yoongi leans forward, bending at the waist to be eye level with you. "Taehyung is chatty, you know." You bite the tip of your tongue hard enough to draw blood, and Yoongi chuckles.

"What exactly do you want?" You ask.

"Nothing." You frown at the response, disbelief evident in your expression. "Alright kid, scoot over so I can sit."

"Um, kid?"

"You're a university student, so you must be younger than me."

"Aren't you the same year as Taehyung?"

"No, I graduated five years ago."

"W-What? But Taehyung said—”

"He lied." Yoongi cuts you off, pushing the haphazard bed sheets around to make a spot to sit.

"What else did he lie about?" You mutter the question more to yourself than to Yoongi, but he responds anyways. The mattress creaks under the added weight, and you subconsciously shuffle away from him and move closer to the pillows at the head of the bed.

"He's not a bad person, Y/N. That's probably the only thing he's lied about."

"Except for his profession."

"Has he really lied about that? Think about it, Y/N. What do you know about him?"

"I thought I knew he was a university student who runs a flower shop."

"And both those things are true, aren't they?"

"But--"

"Have you ever asked if Taehyung does anything else on the side? Any other jobs? Hobbies? Commitments?"

"We-Well, no…” Yoongi lets that information sink in while you refuse to look his way, gnawing on the edge of your lip with a bit too much enthusiasm.

"What are you trying to blame him for?" The question stops you in your tracks.

What am I trying to blame him for? Nothing. I have no reason to blame him. And I'm not blaming him anyways, I'm just upset that he withheld that information, right? Isn't that what I'm upset about? Nearly dying, receiving texts from someone who shouldn't…

Tears prick the corners of your eyes.

Freezing. Being unable to move. Crawling under the table in the diner. Crying. Puking. I'm upset that I didn't do anything. I'm upset that I couldn't do anything, not once but twice.

"I'm not trying to blame him for anything," you claim. There is a slight tremble in your tone, a quiet shakiness that Yoongi no doubt detects, but again, he does not comment on it. "I'm not."

"I understand that you don't want to know anything about our...profession, but I'll tell you one thing. We don't do the things we do out of enjoyment. It's out of necessity. A need. Whatever that may be: a job, money, help, something to bring home to family, a means of protection for a loved one. We do what we have to."

"I don't understand," you whisper. Glancing out the corner of your eye, you spot the resigned expression across Yoongi's delicate features.

"Take me for example. I don't enjoy the dirty parts of my job. Things like what happened tonight though? I know I helped Taehyung, and that's what is important to me. I know that the money I earn goes to paying for my younger brother's education. It keeps him from ever having to step in the muddy water I live in. Even if one day he learns what I do and calls me evil, I know that I've done what I can to keep him good." Yoongi stands up all the sudden, groaning along with the bed that squeaks in relief from the extra weight. "Take that as food for thought, Y/N, before you put us down for what we do."

The silence after he leaves the room is deafening. The scent of peppermint too strong in your nostrils, and you feel lightheaded.

Yoongi's words bear a striking resemblance to Hifumi's earlier in the day.

“You call me vile now, but you’ll find out soon enough that we can’t always do good things for the people we love. If it means saving someone, there is no line between good and evil."

We do what we have to.

It's a suffocating soliloquy, not a defense but a revelation. However many times you've wondered how Hifumi could have no shame in her work, Yoongi's explanation serves to shed light on her position as well. She does what she has to, just as Yoongi and Taehyung do.

"You just need to stop letting your ego get in the way of what really matters."

“And what would that be?”

“I can’t answer that for you, love.”

What really matters? You could put five people in a room and ask them that same question, and you would receive five completely different answers. What matters to one person is pointless to another. Take buying flowers from a shop across the street for example. To you, an important and crucial part of the day that serves to alleviate the pain from school and classes. To Hifumi, a waste of money and time based on childish hopes and admiration for a cute boy. Whatever Hifumi meant though, you cannot figure out. Your ego is not getting in the way of anything. You just want to get through school, pay off some hospital bills, and not go into debt because of university. Work as a speech and language therapist, doing good work and being a good person.

“Wow…that’s — uh, you’re a really good person. That’s amazing how you want to help people and do good things for others. I...I can’t imagine.”

Perhaps Taehyung's words make more sense now, knowing that he is a part of some less than savory things in his spare time.

“You…you are a person who has seen a lot of terrible and evil things, but you still see the good in the world nonetheless. You want to expect the best from people, and yet you’ve been disappointed so many times that you aren’t sure anymore. That’s why you’re studying linguistics and psychology. So that you can do something good in the future, something with an impact, something meaningful. You’re too good for this world, yea…no doubt about that.”

An impact.

Something meaningful.

Good.

Is that not what really matters?

You shift your gaze to the mug on the bedside table, and an unprecedented rage swells in your chest. They raise you to think that doing good and being good is all that matters. That no matter what evil you see or hear, you are supposed to be good. Help others by doing good and meaningful things. What if doing good things doesn't get you far enough? You stretch your hand out, knocking the mug to the floor as a cat would with a glass. The ceramic shatters upon impact. Hot tea splashes your bare feet, burning and scalding the skin. A rush? A feeling as though you've broken some sort of invisible chains? Why does it send a thrill of exhilaration up your spine and through your body?

The door bursts open, Taehyung and Yoongi standing behind it to find the source of the crash no doubt. You get to your feet. A shard of ceramic crunches under your toes, not enough weight put down to break the skin, but it stings nonetheless. Both men glance between the mess on the floor and your stony expression.

"Is everything alright, Y/N?"

Your phone is buzzing again, a series of vibrations against the bed, and a distraction for both Taehyung and Yoongi. You pull their attention back with your next words though.

"You said you would give me two options. I want the second, and I want to know everything."

...

written by: jungtaeyoongles

please do not copy, steal, or otherwise take this work.

consider sending me a ko-fi!!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

287 notes · View notes

17-imagines · 7 years

Text

[scenario] [request] first love

3: “Please… Don’t leave.” 30: “It’s not what it looks like…” 31: “You lied to me.”

(this is a hanahaki!au bc i felt like suffering)

hanahaki disease: results from one-sided love. the infected person starts to cough up flower petals. (more details in the fic - or shoot me a mssg!)

Title: first love

Member: Mingyu ft. bff Wonwoo

Genre: ANGST // hanahaki disease // good end

Word Count: 2667

“Here, let me,” Mingyu says, using his hip to bump you away from the large pot of ramen bubbling on the stove. He takes the wooden spoon from you as you stand there looking offended, arms crossed.

“You always cook,” you huff, jumping up to sit on the counter beside him. He shrugs, grinning at the apron tied around your waist.

“So? Your job is just to be cute for the children’s enjoyment,” he jokes, stepping out of the way from your flailing leg. “Watch it,” he warns, pointing the wooden spoon dripping with broth at you. “I have possession of a weapon.”

“And I can get Jihoon,” you respond smugly, a horrified expression overtaking Mingyu’s face. He narrows his eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Ji-” He drops the spoon into the pot and charges at you, hands grabby and precise, targeting your ticklish spots. He begins to attack you mercilessly until you give in, near to tears. “Wonwoo, Mingyu’s bullying me.”

The passing male gives Mingyu a look, then looks to you and shrugs. “Seems normal to me,” he grins, walking back into his room while a victorious Mingyu dances around the kitchen happily.

The sound of hissing interrupts his happy jig, the ramen’s soup bubbling over the top of the pot and onto the stove. He lets out a scream and immediately turns of the heat, removing the pot and placing it onto a different spot.

“Dinner’s… Ready?” He smiles sheepishly, fanning away the wisps of smoke emitting from the overheated pot.

You roll your eyes and help with distributing the bowls, personally handing each member their bowl. A series of muffled thank you’s sounds from the living room, and you and Mingyu take a seat at the dining table, alone.

“We’re working on our new album,” he says, slurping his noodles enthusiastically. “I’m going to help write the raps, and who knows - Jihoon-hyung said if I learned to compose, I could make my own track, like Hoshi-hyung!”

“I’m really proud of you - you guys,” you stumble, chewing on a spoonful of food.

“Thanks!” He grins, reaching to his cup of water. He holds it in his hand, the grin disappearing as he stares into his glass. “But… That means we can’t hangout as often. You’re not bothered by it, right? Because if you are, you could always-”

“Not at all!” You cut in, a smile on your face despite the ache in your chest, heart throbbing when the smile reappears on his face. “I don’t mind. I just want you all to be successful.”

“Oh, I’m glad you understand. I’ll call and text frequently, so you won’t be lonely.”

He continues to rave on about the new tracks they’re writing, about the concept they’re going for, and how he hopes he doesn’t piss Jihoon off as much as he did last recording.

“He threatened to shove the mic up my ass,” Mingyu grumbled, rubbing his backside. “I’m not into that stuff.”

Midnight came around sooner than you thought, and the manager offered to take you home, Mingyu in the seat beside you. When the van pulled into your apartment’s parking lot, Mingyu took hold of your sleeve, hesitant to let you leave.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” He asks, face serious. You nod.

“I’ll be okay without you for a few weeks,” you reassure him, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about me. Just do your best.”

You say goodbye to the manager and wave to Mingyu, who switches to the front seat. He watches your figure retreat into your complex building, eyes never leaving until you enter safely.

“Okay. Let’s go, hyung.”

You were okay for the first few days. Visiting the Seventeen dorm was a rare occasion on its own, so you didn’t miss it as much as you thought you would - but you did miss sitting in on dance practices, watching the boys shout and groan through vigorous choreographies.

On the sixth day, you woke up in the middle of the night coughing, throat itchy. The feeling was almost like a strand of hair getting caught in your mouth, uncomfortable and impossible to remove without effort.

You remove yourself from your sheets and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, in an attempt to wash down whatever was keeping you up.

It didn’t go down - it went up.

You cough, feeling the object nudge up your throat, and cough again, dislodging the soft material. Reaching into your mouth, you remove a single lilac flower petal, eyes full of confusion and fear.

This isn’t happening.

But it is, and you know exactly why.

You’re in love with Kim Mingyu, it’s one-sided, and the only way to stop the disease from destroying you from the inside out is for him to love you back, or remove the source of it all, thus removing all feelings of love towards Mingyu.

You have two options. Make Kim Mingyu fall in love with you, or fall out of love with Kim Mingyu.

And you don’t know what would hurt more.

He doesn’t need a distraction like a girlfriend, but you don’t want to resent him. It’s not his fault you’re in love with him; it’s not his fault he’s your type.

Maybe it’s your fault?

“Hey, Jihoon-hyung, have you heard anything from (F/N)?” Mingyu murmurs, sitting down beside the resting producer. The practice room is hot and stuffy, and some of the other members have gone off to search for a fan.

“No,” Jihoon huffs, fanning himself with a towel. “She doesn’t talk to me unless it’s about you or food,” he snorts, chugging the rest of his water bottle. “What’s going on between the two of you, anyway?”

“Nothing?” Mingyu questions, “What do you mean by that? We’re friends.” Jihoon rolls his eyes, shoving him playfully.

“Right, and I’m Brian Puspos.”

“You’re not, though.”

Jihoon face palms with an audible slap, Soonyoung laughing beside him. “I was being sarcastic. Of course you wouldn’t catch on.”

“Okay, my stupidity isn’t the subject of the matter - it’s (F/N). She stopped replying to my texts and calls.”

“Why don’t you ask manager-hyung to drive you to her place? He likes her anyway. Calls her a good influence,” Soonyoung suggests, stealing Jihoon’s towel to fan himself, grinning at the scowling boy.

“I… I can’t,” Mingyu mutters, looking away. “I have to finish my track.”

“You’re sounding a lot like someone we know,” Wonwoo chimes in, handing Jihoon a handheld fan. The male makes a face at the side-comment, but thanks him for the kind gesture. “If you can’t, I’ll go for you, if it makes you feel better. She’s probably just studying, anyway.”

“You will?!” Mingyu perks up, tackling Wonwoo into a hug. “Thank you! Call me when you get there, okay? Better yet, FaceTime me! I wanna see her too.”

Soonyoung and Jihoon exchange glances, and Wonwoo grumbles on about ‘someone’ being ‘oblivious’.

Wonwoo catches their manager in the hall and asks to be driven over, texting a hyperactive Mingyu updates.

Mingyu: Are you there yet?

Wonwoo: No.

Mingyu: Now?

Wonwoo: No. I’ll call you, ‘kay? Stop bothering me. If you’re going to work, work, or else we’re turning back around and your ass is getting in this car instead.

Mingyu: o k o k o k

Wonwoo knocks twice, three times, then four. He’s about to give up as he raises his fist to knock a fifth time, when a weak ‘I’m coming’ resounds from the other side, the door clicking open slowly.

The first thing Wonwoo says is, “Holy shit.”

“Good to see you too,” you mumble, pulling your face mask further onto your face. “What do you want?”

He gives you a look over, observing your reddened eyes and heavy eyebags.

The scene over your shoulder is no different, instant cup noodle cups littering your counter, pain medication bottles in a visible corner.

“You should go to the hospital if you’re this sick. Mingyu’s been fussing over you for the last few days,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his name prompts a flash of pain to run through your chest.

“No - anywhere but the hospital. I… This isn’t anything serious,” you lie, petals poking the back of your throat threateningly. “…And what was that, about Mingyu?” You step to the side and gesture for him to come in, shutting the door behind him.

“You two are impossible, running circles around each other. Just confess and date already, I hate being the middleman.” Wonwoo plops down on your couch and you take a seat beside him, shaking your head profusely.

“He doesn’t like me.” You want to tell him, ‘this sickness is proof’, but Wonwoo speaks before you can.

“Mingyu’s the most oblivious man alive. He probably doesn’t realize it, but it’s all in the way he acts and cares for you. It’s different. You’re different for him.”

Given newfound hope, the joy doesn’t last.

Because with a heavy heave, you cough up the built of petals you’ve tried so hard to hold back.

Despite the mask concealing your lips, the petals poke out of the mask and flutter into your lap, a few crimson stained. Wonwoo is quick to react, reaching over to pull your mask off without warning.

“It’s… It’s not what it looks like.”

“Really?! Because it seems to me, you’re a liar.” Wonwoo drops the mask onto your coffee table, causing the remaining petals to spill out of the mask.

“Tell me why you hid it for so long.”

You begin to sob, holding your face in your hands. “He doesn’t love me back, Wonwoo, and I’m dying because of it. Do you think that’s something he wants to hear?”

Ignoring your question, he grumbles worriedly, “Christ, look at the amount of blood mixed in with these -” Wonwoo grabs a tissue from his pocket and holds it to your mouth, pulling out his phone and pressing speed-dial.

“Who are you calling?”

As Wonwoo talks rapidly and worriedly to the manager over the phone, your focus on the male blurs, head pounding. You let out a weak cough, and a dozen fluttering petals fall to the floor. Your vision blacks out, and your body falls limp against the couch.

“Hello?” Mingyu hums, pausing the loud track he’s working on. Wonwoo sounds frantic, panting, and wait - was he crying?

“Mingyu - hospital - now.” A location is sent from their manager’s phone from the nearby hospital, and he doesn’t have the chance to click save on the file, because he bolts out of the studio to wave down a taxi.

“What’s happening, hyung?” Wonwoo’s wiping away stray tears when the tired, worn out Mingyu rushes into the emergency waiting room. “Where’s (F/N)?!”

“She’s fine. They’re giving her pain medications and waiting for her to come to.” Mingyu sighs in relief, but Wonwoo gives him a cold look. “We need to talk.”

He guides the younger outside, towards an isolated spot in the hospital’s garden.

“Do you love her, Mingyu?”

“What? Come again?” He stares at the older with bewilderment in his innocent eyes, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Because she loves you, Mingyu. So much, that it’s killing her.” Mingyu’s speechless, eyes dropping to the ground, and that’s when he sees the smudges of blood on the tops of Wonwoo’s sneakers.

“You’re… You’re joking. This is my fault? How could it be?! I didn’t know - she didn’t say - hyung, please. This isn’t real.” Tears begin to sting at his eyes, and he wipes them away stubbornly. “You’re wrong.”

“No, you’re wrong. You’re the oblivious one. You never saw the way she looked at you, but the others did. It’s different. Full of love. She’s in love with you, and it’s unfair for you to blame her for not telling you because it was in front of you this whole time.”

Wonwoo’s phone buzzes, and with a glance, he lets out a shaky breath.

“She’s awake. She’s in a lot of pain, Mingyu. Either you ‘fess up, or let her let go of you. Room 170.”

Mingyu takes off in a sprint, tears rolling down his cheeks as he runs up countless flights of stairs. His manager greets him, but he’s too much in a rush to see you to properly greet back.

“You lied to me,” he bursts in, tears still spilling. It hurts even more when he sees the bags of fluid hooked up to you, a pained expression on your too-perfect face. “You told me you’d be fine without me. I took that as you not needing me.”

Broken, you look away, anywhere but him.

“I’m sorry,” you quietly reply. “I’m also sorry for loving you. I’ll end it now.”

“No - don’t be stupid, don’t for god’s sake -” He kneels to be in your line of sight, smiling sadly at you. “You know, I don’t know what love is. This is the first time I’ve ever considered being in love with someone, and it’s scary.”

He pulls a nearby chair up beside you and reaches over to you, gently taking your hand in his. Your touch is cold, and it saddens him to know how alone you were. He presses your hand to his cheek, sighing.

“But you know, love doesn’t sound as scary if it means being in love with you. And it took you almost dying for me to realize that, and I can’t apologize enough for that.” He kisses your hand, and when you begin to cry, he reaches out and brushes them away, leaning over to kiss your face gently.

“It sounds perfect. I love you. I’ve loved you from the beginning. I failed to reciprocate it, and the separation only made you lonelier. I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m never leaving you alone again, and I’m going to make this up to you - for the rest of my life, I will never let you hurt alone ever again.”

You finally muster up the strength to speak, sniffling as Mingyu begins to sob again. “I love you too, cry-baby.” He looks at you, eyes narrowed and full of tears.

“How can you be so positive when you’re like this?” He wipes away his tears, pouting. “Next time… Tell me when you’re feeling lonely.”

“I will.” He smiles, kissing your forehead gently, catching a glimpse of the full garbage bin, filled to the brim with lilac petals. He frowns and glances at you. “You know what lilac flowers mean?”

He shakes his head. “Do I want to know?”

“It means first love.”

“Well, that’s fitting,” he jokes, then winces at his inconsiderate joke. “Too soon?”

“Ass.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be your first and last.” He grins, and you do too, genuinely. The dull pain in the back of your throat and the burning in your lungs subsides, because you’re no longer coughing up petals on the hour.

“I better go. Only family is allowed to stay after hours, right? Your parents were here earlier while you were resting, they’re getting food from the cafeteria.” He stands and stretches, kissing your forehead lovingly. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

He steps around the pile of gifts from the members, a pile that consists of letters, teddy bears, and boxes of chocolate, along with a few ‘get well soon’ balloons.

“Please… don’t leave,” you mumble weakly, holding onto his sleeve. “You’re my family too.”

His eyes widen at the statement, cheeks flooding with warmth and redness. “Hey, that’s playing unfair.”

“I’ll play unfair if it means you cuddling with me.” You pat the space beside you, and he glances back at the door before giving in.

He squeezes into the bed, long legs tangled with yours. “Better?” He asks, smiling at you.

“Better. I love you, Mingyu.”

“I love you more, jagi.”

#kim mingyu #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #angst #hanahaki #wow!! my longest one and it's angst HAHA #peep the nct dream song title

423 notes · View notes

johnchiarello · 7 years

Text

Acts 22

ACTS 22

Acts 22:14 And he said, The God of our fathers hath chosen thee, that thou shouldest know his will, and see that Just One, and shouldest hear the voice of his mouth.Acts 22:15 For thou shalt be his witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard.

https://youtu.be/wsxfxta_D9U Final thoughts

Acts 22- https://youtu.be/rUV-gp_WDY0

https://ccoutreach87.com/9-12-17-acts-22/

https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/9-12-17-acts-22.zip

Dogs 1- At the park https://youtu.be/srNPlAdTv4w

Dogs 2- In the truck- on the way for their shots https://youtu.be/DiUTEnBlvOU

Dogs 3- At the vet. https://youtu.be/a0dZE6rIDWI

Dogs 4- After the shots https://youtu.be/BZ02F05QKI4

Dogs 5- on the way home https://youtu.be/PoyYlel4DUA

Micah 6:9

The Lord's voice crieth unto the city, and the man of wisdom shall see thy name: hear ye the rod, and who hath appointed it.

https://youtu.be/wcs_8TW2EC8 Fear God- Judge

ON VIDEO [Acts 22]-

.Animal ministry too

.FEMA

.They wanted to kill Paul- over religious disagreement

.Violence is never the answer- then- or now

.Paul’s defense

.He recounts his conversion [Acts 9]

.Another vision

.What did Jesus tell Paul?

.How did it impact his teaching?

.Spiritual gifts and theology worked together in the early church

.The vision was confirmed by the writings of the prophets

.Plea for religious tolerance today

.Open forum good- have open debate

.But don’t advocate for violence while doing it

.The Reformers

.Church history

.Paul spoke out against injustice

.Halfway house story

Isaiah 26:9

With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.

NEW- [Past teaching- verses below]

After I taught Acts 22- I went to see my homeless friends at the park.

Caveman [Jammer] told me some people were going to pick up his dogs- Fat Boy and Paisley [who you have seen on my videos in the past] and take them to get their shots- and the people were going to pay for the dogs shots.

As we were sitting there my daughters and LuLu showed up- sure enough- they were the people who Jammer was talking about.

I rode with them to the Vet and held them as they were getting their shots.

The dogs know me- I play with them all the time- so it was good that I went in the truck with them.

fat-boy did growl and scared the nurse- but I told her ‘just do it- don’t wait so long’.

He got thru it fine- and Paisley did great too.

They slept on my lap on the way back- it was cute.

So- the videos titled- Dogs 1- Dogs 2- etc- are short clips of the animal ‘ministry’ my daughters do.

Hope you enjoy them.

4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,

5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

1Cor. 5

NOTE- before I taught acts 22- we went to Alice [from Sandia] and Becky and Lu treated a ladies kittens with medication- we drove for a few hours and then went back to Sandia [where Becky lives].

Then I taught Acts 22.

We went our separate ways- I wound up in the Bluff spending a few hours with my homeless friends [I see spending time with them- as ministry- we talk- the guys ask questions- it’s a part of ministry in my mind].

That's when my kids showed up for the dogs-

Lesson-

Ministry- teaching- preaching- it should be a part of ‘ministry’ and it should come out of a lifestyle of good works- reaching out- charity.

As I teach the books of Acts- we see Paul on a journey- going form place to place- making a defense of the gospel.

But he was on the move- like Jesus and the 12.

It’s easy to think of ministry as simply holding meetings in a building- on Sunday.

That's ok- but we are all called to be a part of the work.

While I was at the park- Jill asked me ‘when did you decide to be a minister’?

Jill is a new homeless person in the area- from Boston.

I told Jill- I really do not view myself as a quote ‘minister’ I told her for many years I worked with people in trouble- bible studies in the jails- stuff like that.

But I tried to simply say- it’s really more of a lifestyle- give yourself away- help others-

Yes- teaching plays a role-

But being active- works of charity-

Those things- at least to me- are the heart of the matter.

PAST POSTS- [past teaching I did that relates to this post- ACTS 22]

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/09/15/kings-12-3/

https://ccoutreach87.com/romans-updated-2015/

https://ccoutreach87.com/galatians-links/

https://ccoutreach87.com/protestant-reformation-luther/

https://ccoutreach87.com/hebrews-updated-2015/

ACTS-

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/01/18/acts-1/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/01/26/acts-2/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/02/02/acts-3/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/02/09/acts-4/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/03/23/acts-5/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/03/31/acts-6/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/06/acts-7/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/14/acts-8/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/18/acts-9/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/07/acts-10/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/16/acts-11/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/22/acts-12/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/06/01/acts-13/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/06/14/acts-14/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/07/03/acts-15/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/07/07/acts-16/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/07/27/acts-17/

http://corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com/2017/08/acts-18-acts-1828-for-he-mightily.html

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/08/09/acts-19/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/08/20/acts-20/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/09/04/acts-21/

(820) ROMANS 6- Lets talk about baptism. To start off I believe that the baptism spoken about in this chapter is primarily referring to ‘the baptism of the Spirit’, that is the work of the Holy Spirit placing a believer in the Body of Christ. The Catholic and Orthodox [and Reformed!] brothers believe that Paul is speaking about water baptism. The MAJORITY VIEW of Christians today believe this chapter is referring to water baptism. Why? First, the text itself does not indicate either way. You could take this baptism and see it either way! You are not a heretic if you believe in it referring to Spirit or water. You are not a heretic if you believe in Paedo baptism [infant baptism]. ‘What are you saying? Now you lost me.’ Infant baptism developed as a Christian rite over the course of church history. The church struggled with how to ‘dedicate’ new babies to Christ. Though the scriptures give no examples of infant baptism, some felt that the reason was because the scriptures primarily show us the conversion of the first century believers. There really aren’t a whole lot of stories of ‘generations’ of believers passing on the faith to other generations. So some felt that the idea of dedicating babies to the Lord through infant baptism was all right. The examples they used were the circumcision of babies in the Old Testament. Infants were circumcised [a rite that placed you under the terms of the Old Covenant] though they weren’t old enough to really understand what they were doing! This example was carried over into the Christian church and applied to infant baptism. Now, I do not believe in infant baptism. But I can certainly understand this line of reasoning. As Christian theology developed thru the early centuries, particularly thru the patristic period, you had very intellectual scholars grapple with many different themes and ideas. Some that we just studied in chapter 5. Some theologians came to see infant baptism as dealing with original sin. They applied the concept of infant baptism as a rite that washes away original sin. The church did not teach that this meant you did not have to later believe and follow Christ. They simply developed a way of seeing baptism as ‘sanctifying’ the new members of Christian households. This basic belief made it all the way to the Reformation. The Reformers themselves still practiced infant baptism. It was the Anabaptists [re-baptizers] who saw the truth of adult baptism and suffered for it, at the hands of the reformers! Ulrich Zwingli, the Swiss reformer, would have them drowned for their belief. Some Protestants stuck with the infant rite, while others [the Restorationists] would reject it. Today most Evangelicals do not practice infant baptism, the majority of Christians world wide do. Now, the reason I did a little history is because Evangelicals [of which I am one] have a tendency to simply look at other believers who practice this rite as ‘deceived’. Many are unaware of the history I just showed you. The reasons the historic church developed this doctrine are not heretical! They used scripture and tradition to pass it down to future generations. I do not believe or practice infant baptism, many good believers do.

[parts]

HERACLITUS- Ok- lets pick up on my philosophy stuff.

Heraclitus lived in the 6th/5th century BC. - He was from Ephesus and his key thought was Ever Present Change.

That is he saw everything as being in a state of continual flux- one of his famous sayings was ‘No man ever steps into the same river twice’.

He is called the Weeping Philosopher- sort of like the prophet Jeremiah in the bible- also called the Weeping Prophet.

Heraclitus is known for his concept of the Logos- the Word- or thought/reason.

Now- this aspect of his thought plays a role in the development of the Christian understanding of Christ himself- in our New Testaments [written in Greek] Jesus is indeed referred to as the Logos- or Word of God.

The Greek philosophers understanding of the Logos was not the same as the Christian view- mainly expressed thru the writings of John [The gospel- the 3 epistles- and Revelation].

But- some see the Greek view as a precursor to Christ.

In the work of one of the early church fathers- Hippolytus ‘The Refutation of all Heresies’ he attacks Heraclitus view of the Logos as an early form of heresy.

The apologist Justin Martyr is more gracious- he [Like Ulrich Zwingli- the great Swiss reformer of the 16th century] viewed the early Geek thinkers as ‘pre- Christian’ or ‘Christians before Christ’.

Though many reject this view- yet there is some scripture to back it up.

The apostle Paul said in his letter to the Romans that if the Gentiles [non-Jews] do by nature the things contained in the law- then they are justified in God’s sight.

Of course these things are debatable- but I add this to show you that some great Christian thinkers did indeed view the early Greek thinkers- who did live by a moral code- as being right in God’s eyes.

And the bible does teach a theme that we will be judged according to the amount of light [understanding] that we had at the time.

I should note that Plato [one of the 3 titans that arose after Heraclitus- from the city/state of Athens] disagreed with Heraclitus on all things being in a state of constant change.

When [if?] we get to Socrates- Plato and Aristotle- I’ll try and cover the ways they advanced- built upon- the thought of the pre Socratic thinkers.

As a side note- the most famous student of Aristotle- who was the most famous student of Plato- who was the most famous student of Socrates- was Alexander the Great.

This goes to show you how great an influence Greek philosophy had on the ancient world.

A few nuggets from Heraclitus- ‘all things come to pass in accordance with this Logos’ ‘follow the common’ ‘not having their own judgment’.

Recently I covered Acts chapter 2- and we see some of these ideas in the early Christian movement.

The first Christians did ‘follow the common’ they sold their goods- and had ‘all things common’ [communal lifestyle].

The apostle Paul teaches the early church to all ‘speak the same thing- that there be no divisions among you’.

And the New Testament also says the scripture should not be given to Private Interpretation- meaning- ‘not having your own personal judgment’.

All in all- we do indeed see a sort of pre Christian thought in the pre Socratic thinkers- they did indeed speak of the Divine- God- though there understanding of him was not the same as the Christian church.

In a sense- Heraclitus idea that in life- the only ‘constant’ is the fact that there is no constant- that life itself is made up of an ongoing journey- we live day by day- not ever knowing what ‘the next day will bring forth’- Jesus.

Yeah- the man had some good points- the later Stoics would consider Heraclitus as the father of their movement.

And in the study of Philosophy- the Stoics- who had a good run from a few years before the Common Era- were overtaken in the 4th century [as the main influential philosophy of the time] by some new and lasting philosophy- started by a man named Jesus Christ- who his followers claimed rose from the dead.

Yeah- this New Way was called Christianity- and this philosophy has endured now for over 2 thousand years.

[parts]

(1335) GALATIANS 5- Paul’s main theme is if we possess the Spirit as believers [being indwelt by God’s Spirit] then let us also walk in/by the Spirit, as opposed to trying to please God by the law and being circumcised. Paul will use the somewhat controversial term ‘ye are fallen from grace’ which simply means that these Gentile believers started by faith and went back to the old Jewish system, much like the themes in the book of Hebrews. Paul says when you go back to the law you have left grace. Christ has ‘become of no effect to you, you who are justified by the law’. This is a good example of how words and certain phrases can develop over the centuries of church history and develop a different meaning over time. In essence the bible does teach that a person can ‘fall from grace’ but this does not describe what the modern reader might think. The first church father who attempted to formulate the Christian doctrine of the Trinity was a man named Tertullian, he lived in the second century and was what theologians refer to as one of the Latin fathers [as opposed to the Greek ones- Origen, etc.] Tertullian was famous for the sayings ‘what does Jerusalem have to do with Athens’ and ‘I believe because it is absurd’ he was resisting the influence of Greek philosophy on the church, he felt that Greek wisdom was influencing the church too much. He was trained in law before becoming a theologian [like Luther and Calvin of 16th century Reformation fame] and he used the words ‘God is one substance/essence and also three persons’ later church councils would agree with this language. But the word ‘person’ at Tertullian’s time was the Latin word ‘personi’ which was taken from the theater and meant a person/actor who would put on different masks during the play; the word had a little different meaning then what we think of today as ‘person’. Later centuries would come to condemn certain Christian groups who seem to have formulated language on the Trinity that expresses the same thing as what the original developer of the doctrine meant to say, but because words and their meanings change over time we get ourselves into disputes that might be getting us off track. Paul also tells the Galatians that if they become circumcised that they are obligating themselves to keep all the law. Of course the medical procedure that many have done in our day is not what he is speaking about, but in Paul’s day getting circumcised was the religious rite that placed you into the religion of Judaism, and this is what Paul is refuting among the Galatians, he tells them not to go down that road. This chapter has lots of good ‘memory verses’, the famous lists of the works of the flesh versus the fruit of the Spirit are found here, and it seems pretty clear to me that Paul identified circumcision with the moral law of the 10 commandments, that is he saw being circumcised as an act that obligated you to ‘keep all the law’ some theologians are discussing whether or not Paul meant the law of Moses when speaking about going ‘back under the law’ some think Paul was speaking only of the ceremonial law and the system of animal sacrifices when he was telling the gentiles that they should not go under the law, I believe if you read Paul in context both in this letter and the book of Romans, that he is speaking of the moral law too, not just the ceremonial law. All in all Paul exhorts these believers to fight for their right to be free from the past restraints of religion and bondage, he tells them to not desire to go back under a system of bondage, that Christ has made us free from that legalistic way of life and he has liberated us by giving us the Holy Spirit- if we ‘walk in the Spirit we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, for the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh, and these two are contrary one to the other, so that you cannot do the things that you would’ amen to that.

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[1773] LUTHER CLASHES WITH ROME

Let’s do another post on the Protestant Reformation. I’ll probably only do a few more before I transition into another study.

By the way- all the studies I do thru out the year are posted in the February posts of the following year.

Okay- last we left off Luther was just beginning to butt heads with the church [Tetzel] over the abuse of the sale of indulgences that was going on in Germany.

In a previous post I mentioned how the priest- Tetzel- was selling these ‘get out of Purgatory’ type coupons in the area where Luther operated out- Saxony.

Actually- Tetzel never entered Saxony itself- but was selling these out of a bordering city- and many of Luther’s students/parishioners were being hoodwinked into spending their money to rescue a loved one out of Purgatory.

Tetzel is known for a jingle he started in connection with the sale of the indulgence- it goes ‘as soon as a coin in the coffer rings- a soul in Purgatory springs’- ouch!

Like I said before- the church never taught this- they did teach the Treasury of Merit [previous post] but the way Tetzel used it was a real abuse of the teaching of the church at the time.

Now- Luther responds to the abuse by writing the famous 95 thesis. This is the act that is often associated with the launching of the Reformation- the act that got the ball rolling.

The 95 thesis were simply 95 questions challenging the whole practice of the sale of indulgences- there was no mention of the doctrine of Justification by Faith- which will become the trumpet sound that springs out of the Protestant Reformation.

Luther takes these questions- written in Latin- and nails them to the university church door at Wittenberg. Sometimes while reading church history this ‘nailing to the door’ is seen as a sort of vandalism - you know- ‘he nailed them to the door!’

In actuality Luther was simply using the system of the day that one scholar would use in order to bring up an official point of contention with the church- Luther wrote the Thesis in Latin- which was the scholars language- not the language of the common man.

But Luther’s students quickly translated the Thesis into the vernacular [German] and it was said that in 2 weeks the paper made it into every village of Germany.

The challenge was a spark in the lives of many Christians who also believed the church was off track and that someone needed to rebuke her- and they picked Luther as the man for the job.

Now- the Catholic church wanted Luther to go to Rome and discuss the situation there- Luther’s friends warned him not to go- so they agreed to meet- a few times- in Germany.

The first meeting was in 1518 at Heidelberg- Luther actually gave a great defense of his argument and convinced some other top Catholic scholars that he was right [as a side note- the church had already scheduled this meeting because of a controversy that rose up between the Augustinian order of monks and the Dominicans. They were debating over which philosophy was more consistent with church teaching- Nominalism or Realism- for those of you who have read the posts this past year- I taught this when doing our posts on philosophy].

One man- Martin Bucer- wrote a stirring account of Luther- Bucer would later influence another young Swiss priest with Reformation teachings- his name is John Calvin.

As a side not Calvin will become one of the 3 big heavy hitters of the 16th century Reformation [Ulrich Zwingli is the 3rd].

Luther will meet again in Augsburg- and debate the leading Catholic scholar of the day- Cardinal Cajetan.

Then he goes to the city of Leipzig- and debates the leading German scholar- Johann Eck.

And his last meeting with the church will be at the famous Diet of Worms [pronounced- Vurmtz] and it will be here that Luther makes his last stand and officially will break with the church and launch the Protestant Reformation.

It should be noted that Luther held what we call a High Church position for most of this time- he still saw the church at Rome- and the Pope- as a legitimate expression of true Christianity- his beef was what he saw as an abuse of the system- by the priest Tetzel.

As time progressed- the other beliefs of Luther- founded upon the bible- did come into contention with Rome.

The main disagreement eventually became the teaching in the bible called Justification by faith. I have written a study on the topic on the blog- I have also written a bible study on the book of Romans and Galatians.

For those of you who can- try and read Romans chapters 2-4 and Galatians 2-3- these are the key chapters that cover the teaching.

Down the road I will cover the official teaching of both the Protestants and the Catholics on the doctrine of justification- the Catholic Council of Trent- referred to as the Counter Reformation- spells out the official teaching of Rome- and there are a few papers put out by the Reformers that explain their belief.

Since the 16th century Reformation there have been efforts made by Protestants and Catholics to bridge the gap as much as possible- to try to come to some common language since the historic split.

I like some of the efforts that have been made- and recently both groups put out a statement that jointly said we all believe that we are saved by Gods grace thru Christ- that’s good.

But as we get into some of the actual discussion- you will see the points at which the 2 sides disagreed- and the main one was on the act- the actual thing that happens- when a person is declared just- the Reformers said it takes place when a person has faith- believes- the Catholic church said it takes place at baptism- water baptism.

This- as well as a few other things- will be a defining distinction between the 2.

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VERSES-

Acts 22:1 Men, brethren, and fathers, hear ye my defence which I make now unto you.

Acts 22:2 (And when they heard that he spake in the Hebrew tongue to them, they kept the more silence: and he saith,)

Acts 22:3 I am verily a man which am a Jew, born in Tarsus, a city in Cilicia, yet brought up in this city at the feet of Gamaliel, and taught according to the perfect manner of the law of the fathers, and was zealous toward God, as ye all are this day.

Acts 22:4 And I persecuted this way unto the death, binding and delivering into prisons both men and women.

Acts 22:5 As also the high priest doth bear me witness, and all the estate of the elders: from whom also I received letters unto the brethren, and went to Damascus, to bring them which were there bound unto Jerusalem, for to be punished.

Acts 22:6 And it came to pass, that, as I made my journey, and was come nigh unto Damascus about noon, suddenly there shone from heaven a great light round about me.

Acts 22:7 And I fell unto the ground, and heard a voice saying unto me, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?

Acts 22:8 And I answered, Who art thou, Lord? And he said unto me, I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom thou persecutest.

Acts 22:9 And they that were with me saw indeed the light, and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me.

Acts 22:10 And I said, What shall I do, LORD? And the Lord said unto me, Arise, and go into Damascus; and there it shall be told thee of all things which are appointed for thee to do.

Acts 22:11 And when I could not see for the glory of that light, being led by the hand of them that were with me, I came into Damascus.

Acts 22:12 And one Ananias, a devout man according to the law, having a good report of all the Jews which dwelt there,

Acts 22:13 Came unto me, and stood, and said unto me, Brother Saul, receive thy sight. And the same hour I looked up upon him.

Acts 22:14 And he said, The God of our fathers hath chosen thee, that thou shouldest know his will, and see that Just One, and shouldest hear the voice of his mouth.

Acts 22:15 For thou shalt be his witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard.

Acts 22:16 And now why tarriest thou? arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord.

Acts 22:17 And it came to pass, that, when I was come again to Jerusalem, even while I prayed in the temple, I was in a trance;

Acts 22:18 And saw him saying unto me, Make haste, and get thee quickly out of Jerusalem: for they will not receive thy testimony concerning me.

Acts 22:19 And I said, Lord, they know that I imprisoned and beat in every synagogue them that believed on thee:

Acts 22:20 And when the blood of thy martyr Stephen was shed, I also was standing by, and consenting unto his death, and kept the raiment of them that slew him.

Acts 22:21 And he said unto me, Depart: for I will send thee far hence unto the Gentiles.

Acts 22:22 And they gave him audience unto this word, and then lifted up their voices, and said, Away with such a fellow from the earth: for it is not fit that he should live.

Acts 22:23 And as they cried out, and cast off their clothes, and threw dust into the air,

Acts 22:24 The chief captain commanded him to be brought into the castle, and bade that he should be examined by scourging; that he might know wherefore they cried so against him.

Acts 22:25 And as they bound him with thongs, Paul said unto the centurion that stood by, Is it lawful for you to scourge a man that is a Roman, and uncondemned?

Acts 22:26 When the centurion heard that, he went and told the chief captain, saying, Take heed what thou doest: for this man is a Roman.

Acts 22:27 Then the chief captain came, and said unto him, Tell me, art thou a Roman? He said, Yea.

Acts 22:28 And the chief captain answered, With a great sum obtained I this freedom. And Paul said, But I was free born.

Acts 22:29 Then straightway they departed from him which should have examined him: and the chief captain also was afraid, after he knew that he was a Roman, and because he had bound him.

Acts 22:30 On the morrow, because he would have known the certainty wherefore he was accused of the Jews, he loosed him from his bands, and commanded the chief priests and all their council to appear, and brought Paul down, and set him before them.

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