#i told the owner

[theonetrueyeet]

spider ramble... particularly about false widows

in a Mood™ abt spiders currently, ESPECIALLY false widows. been going back over my arachnid section of the invertebrate module bc i have exams soon and its late and im frustrated abt how false widows get portrayed by the media and percieved by the british public... this is gonna be long and rambly and probably not make much sense and go off in a million and one diff directions sorry i just feel like talking abt spiders. this also came about bc of the big fuckoff house spider that was in my room last night on the top of my door frame but since it was late (like. midnight) and also out of my reach i went eh. ill deal with it in the morning. and then i woke up in the morning and no more spider to deal with! which i should be more stressed about i feel but im so exhausted from the run up to exams and other life stuff that im just like ok cool thats Around somewhere now ig. im guessing it was a female from the size but i cant be sure... anyway without further ado onto the main show.

so here in the uk we arent exactly known for our venomous animals. we have some but they're nothing really that dangerous (to us as humans at least. im not going into venom-prey specificity rn ive had ENOUGH of that recently). we have the european adder (which is also percieved as terrifying bc its a venomous snake but it poses very little risk to us as humans bc they are very shy and i have a lot to say abt adders but thats for another day), wasps, bees, some venomous fish (didnt know this until i found one rockpooling they r pretty neat), even some stinging jellyfish and siphonophores like the portuguese man o war. and then we have the spiders. all species of spider are venomous (minus the uloboridae family, aka the cribellate orb weavers which im not too sure off the top of my head if we have those in the uk... we might have one or two species?? idk but they arent venomous and i think theres another family that has some non venomous spiders BUT THE POINT IM MAKING IS PRETTY MUCH ALL SPIDERS ARE VENOMOUS). there are 650ish spp of spider in the uk and of those VERY FEW are at all medically significant. of these few are the rabbit hutch spider, the cupboard spider, and... the noble false widow. these 3 spiders are all known as false widow spiders. we also occasionally get the meditterreanean false widow, but to my knowledge these only arrive on imports and dont have a population within the uk.

belonging to the genus steatoda, false widows are usually seen as these terrifying death spiders that will kill you just for looking at them when really... they arent actually that dangerous. most cases of bites being severe are either a) a result of an allergy or b) it was actually caused by something other than the bite itself (such as a bacterial infection in the bite, or the "bite" not actually being a bite) or even c) greatly exaggerated by the tabloids (shocker)... like ok we dont have many scary animals in the uk but. we dont need to overexaggerate the ones that really arent as bad as people think! badgers probably pose more of a threat to you than a false widow does. have you seen a badger?! they look so cute but they are VICIOUS those things will FUCK YOU UP and give you TB on top of getting absolutely mauled. a false widow will, at most, just make you feel a bit ill for a couple of days. me personally i would take a falsie over the badger. false widows also only bite in defense! most of the time they bite because you didn't see them and happened to be a very big thing up in their personal space! tbh i would bite too

false widow bites are, to most people, no more harmful than a wasp sting. so its not exactly a fun time but its not exactly the limb destroying death bite that the british media loves to make it out to be. most bites are probably dry bites or have near neglible amounts of venom, so won't cause anything more than a bit of pain. when venom does get involved it gets a bit more complicated bc it depends on how ur body reacts to it. as i said before, most ppl its not much worse than a wasp sting but it can cause things like muscle spasms, sweating, and a raised temperature. it rarely gets worse than that. of course you can be allergic to it which will cause anaphylaxis which is a medical emergency, but this is an exceptional circumstance. most ppl bitten by a false widow will not experience that. the panic over false widows in the uk is a mixture of media-driven mass hysteria and arachnophobia.

anyway in conclusion shoutout brandon collier who did an amazing talk abt false widows during the bhs venom day both at the 2022 and 2023 events both of which i was lucky enough to attend. if i cant go to venom day this year you will see me on the news.

#spiders #false widow #ramble #nixxy's animal talk #making that a tag because this will happen again soon probably #all this being said #i did use their reputation to my benefit last summer #there was one on the outside kitchen door at the cafe i worked in #so in order to not have to go in there #and also to prevent anyone accidentally getting bitten #bc remember i said they bite in defense #being grabbed as someone opens the door would cause them to bite in defense #i told the owner #who told me to not be dramatic #anyway guess who she then asked to deal with the spider on the door handle not 10 minutes later? #me #if im dealing with spiders #im not dealing with the vile customers or horrible owner #as for the beast in my room #i heard it before i saw it #at first i thought oh! #im going crazy again! #and then i looked for the source of the weird tappy scratchy rustly sound and saw one of the biggest spiders i have ever seen #in the uk at least #and that isnt like. a tarantula #tho saying that it was bigger than my friend's new tarantula tho so #new pet ig! #idk where that thing is #ill find it when im packing probably #christ thats a lot of tags

[hedgehog-moss]

Look, friends.

Do you think this is a post about my adorable baby succulents? No. Look harder.

It's about the GIANT HOLE IN MY FENCE that I had to patch up with cardboard.

I can't blame Pampérigouste for this one; the brutish nature of the damage is not consistent with her usual modus operandi. Pampe outsmarts locks like Arsène Lupin; she doesn't charge at fences like a bull who saw a red cloth. This is Pampe Pondering A Fence Problem:

No, the damage to my fence looked a lot more mindless this time. Boorish. Boar-ish. I'm blaming a boar. A deer would have destroyed the whole thing rather than just the lower half. Note that there is not a single tuft of llama wool on the damaged wire mesh.

(Note no.2: the boar's smile was originally meant to be a tusk but it really just looks like a sardonic smile)

I brought some chicken wire to patch up the hole—but there wasn't enough of it. Then it started raining and I felt persecuted and decided to just cover the hole with cardboard and go have my morning coffee and get back to this later.

This is not an Innocent Pampe post; there is no such thing. My temporary cardboard solution lasted 8 to 10 minutes. I'm not sure exactly when she got out, but by the time I went back outside to repair the fence there was a Pampe-shaped hole in the cardboard.

(Not really; she just kind of lifted or ate a corner then wormed her way through the very small opening. I think.) (See, this is how you recognise a Pampe escape: you're not entirely clear on what went down, you just know there was a llama inside and now there is a llama outside.)

It was still raining and I didn't feel like going after her, plus it felt pointless to bring her back in her pasture before the fence was repaired, so I went in the barn to look for my tools and rummage through leftover pieces of previously-destroyed fences, hoping to find something the right size.

Then I heard Pampelune's hyena shriek, aka the llama alarm call. It was followed by:

horrified chicken screams and frantic feather noises; the soundtrack of a violent fox attack

infuriated barking from Pandolf

very loud panicked braying from Pirlouit

basically, chaos.

I ran outside just in time to see Pampe emerging from the woods at a full gallop, pursued by a bear. I didn't immediately identify the animal that was chasing her as the giant dog that he was, because he was running with a weird gait, with his legs going everywhere like he was frolicking at top speed (I now know that this dog is a puppy that has learnt to run just a few months ago, but that didn't occur to me at the time because this puppy is the size of a calf.)

Pampe was running towards the cardboard through which she had escaped and she managed to squeeze through her small corner hole again (I assume—there were trees blocking my line of sight and I only saw her again once she was in the pasture, running for her life along with the other 2 llamas + donkey.) Meanwhile, the dog didn't see the corner hole and tried to power through the cardboard much like a boar, or was carried away by his momentum and didn't brake in time; I don't know. In any case, when I reached him, he was stuck.

My large piece of cardboard was tied to the fence posts and still holding strong, but the middle was a bit soggy with rain and not too solid, so the dog's head went right through it. The rest of his body didn't.

He could have probably finished breaking the cardboard quite easily, but for some reason he instantly gave up. On life. By the time I got there the dog was half-in and half-out of the pasture and he looked defeated. Which made my piece of cardboard look like a mediaeval beheading apparatus with just a hole for the head.

I went to lock an angry Pandolf in the barn and checked on the chickens along the way (ruffled & offended but fine); I was hoping the dog would figure out how to extricate his head from the cardboard in the meantime. He did not. I tried to call him in a friendly tone (from behind) to encourage him to free his head by stepping back, but the concept of taking a couple of steps backwards in order to extract his head from the hole might as well have been advanced engineering. He clearly had no idea where his head was, where his body was, how to make the two a coherent whole again, and he started whining pitifully.

I untied the rope I had used to attach the cardboard to the fence posts, then wriggled the piece of cardboard a bit to try and free the dog's head. The dog was alarmed by the wriggling and took several steps back—but I didn't manage to hold on to the cardboard so it just moved with the dog. He clumsily ran away, taking the cardboard with him, wearing it around his neck like the world's largest cone of shame.

He immediately got stuck between two trees.

I was starting to find the situation hilarious, but the poor dog did not—he lay down and started making sad broken noises like a malfunctioning dog-robot. He didn't look very threatening but he was still a very big (and stressed) dog so I felt a bit wary of touching his head to help him, and decided to run home to get a box cutter. I figured I could easily rid him of most of the cardboard and leave him with just a soggy cardboard collar that would soon fall apart. I heard my landline phone ringing from afar and ran faster, and it was one of my nearest neighbours, the retired lady who lives on the plateau.

"I've been trying to reach you!! I saw your llama in my garden earlier, I was going to give her a little treat—" (she loves Pampe, for some reason) "—but then my dog saw her too."

I know this woman's dog—he's a tiny thing with fragile nerves who thinks the whole world is out to get him, so I asked anxiously, "Did Pampe scare your dog?" and she said "Oh no! Domino is here with me; but I have a new dog. His name is Texas."

I thought of the gigantic puppy currently sobbing in my woods, held prisoner by two trees, a self-inflicted cone of shame and his total lack of reasoning skills.

"Yes", I said. "I've met Texas."

The old lady asked worriedly if he'd scared Pampe ("Il est un peu zinzin" she said—he's a bit crazy. "I wanted to call him Rex, but then I met him and thought—Texas!!") I told her I was pleased with her dog for scaring Pampe, because she needs to learn that her pasture is her only hope for safety in this cold uncaring world and as soon as she steps out of it she returns to her lowly status as a prey animal. Then I ended the phone call because I was worried both about Texas and about the large hole in my fence. Thankfully all my animals were still terrified and hiding far, far away from Texas.

Texas actually managed to free himself before I attempted to cut the cardboard, but he still thought of me as his saviour and was very happy to follow me through the woods back to his owner's place. Before we left I propped up the cardboard against the damaged fence, and despite the hole in the middle no llamas escaped in my absence; I think the whole area still smelled like Texas and fear.

I'll admit I was initially tempted to leave Texas with his head stuck in the cardboard in a more permanent capacity in order to patch the hole in my fence with this amazing anti-Pampe Cerberus. Like this

(I know this artistic rendering makes my llamas look like frightened carrots and my donkey like a bunny but I will not be taking constructive criticism at this time)

#crawling along #llama drama #i spent an hour at his owner's place eating biscuits and being told all the reasons why texas is ''a bit zinzin'' #for example he runs away to the nearest farm to steal the cow feed (pellets) at feeding time #he was caught red-pawed by the farmer and just. stole the entire plastic tub that contained the pellets #and ran back home. holding this very large tub in his mouth and sprinkling cow feed everywhere along the way #this time around his owner must have feared he would come home dragging a bag with pampe inside or something

[born-in-hell]

Edit: 20/04/2024: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP LIKING THIS FUCKING POST. THIS IS FROM LAST YEAR B4 ALL THE THINGS ON FOREVER CAME OUT. I just keep it up for the sake of archiving.

IM BLOCKING EVERYONE WHO LIKES OR INTERACTS W THIS POST

.

btw for all u 4haloers and eclipsedoers out there aparently forever's been signing ppls badges w a heart and telling them to ask bbh to sign his name near the heart

heres one of them!!

another one!! this is for the 1st pic

THERES A FOURTH ONE NOW

#btw the first one forever actually signed after bbh but he added the heart #i hate them sm theyre the worst /pos #the second one if im not wrong bbh drew the heart bc forever told the badge owner to ask him #forevers a menace #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh #qsmp forever #badboyhalo #forever player #qsmp vegas meetup #vegas meetup #4halo #eclipseduo #ill add the originals links as i find them #i just realized this post has several grammatical errors and typos forgive me im dumb

[resinfossil]

So I recently started reading the Murderbot Diaries and after finishing System Collapse I am now convinced that the average corporate wouldn't recognize a rogue SecUnit if it skipped up to them in full armor, called them a stupid motherfucker, and backflipped into the nearest uncrewed, passengerless cargo transport

#murderbot diaries #it is so funny watching them try to rationalize murderbot's behavior #every time it does something that a governed secunit blatantly shouldn't be able to do they're just like #“hmmm maybe it was told to do that?” or “i think its owner/clients just don't know how to handle it” lmaooo #no wonder murderbot got away with half assing its job for so long

[vanellygal]

!!!!PSA!!!!

If you adopt an animal from someone then decide it isn't working out, for the LOVE of GOSH PEOPLE- Tell the person you got your pet from that things aren't going as planned/and or you changed your mind, and that if they can return it.

Don't, and I mean DON'T try to dump outside/put it down/throw said animal to the shelter first. Always ask the person you adopted the animal from FIRST. So that way they can find another owner, or change their mind and keep the pet.

I'm sure some situations aren't always the same, but still.

(Please share)

#From experience #I would have kept my cat if I would have known the new owner would throw it outside to die #Important #psa #Animals #Pets #Adoption #my coworker also told a similar story with her kitten

[doll-elvis]

The story behind the pictures

“At first Elvis sent photographs at no charge, but when the requests multiplied, he requested twenty-five cents for each picture or eight cents a piece for mass orders. One of the first pictures he sent out was a dreamy-eyed head shot— the result of Elvis’ first professional photo session

‘He came off like dynamite,’ recalled Bill Speer, whose lens captured Presley in late 1954. ‘As soon as I sat him in front of the camera, I knew he had it’. Speer’s wife, Vacil, was certainly impressed the evening Bob Neal brought Elvis to the studio. ‘Oh, I opened that door, and his animal charm, his animal magnetism!’

When Bill finished taking the requisite portraits of Elvis in a sports coat and shirt, the photographer said, ‘Well, if that’s all the clothes you brought, I guess we’re done’

‘No honey,’ Vacil protested. ‘Get him to take his shirt off!’. Though the young singer at first protested, he at last shyly unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off

When he was later sent copies of the shirt-less shots, Elvis scrutinized one of them and scribbled on the back ‘This one has got to go! Ha ha ha!’

Elvis returned to Speer’s studio to have some portrait shots of his girlfriend, Barbara Hearn. During this meeting, Speer thinks he may have offended Elvis. According to Speer, while he was concentrating on photographing Barbara, Elvis was in the next room and began singing, when Speer said, ‘Stop the racket! I’m trying to take a picture’. After that, Speer never met Elvis again…”

(story courtesy of “Down at the End of the Lonely Street” by Pat Broeske & Peter Brown and the website Elvis Echoes of the Past)

#there’s so much to unpack here lmaooo #Vacil is as shameless as I would have been #like telling him to take his shirt off and saying he has an ‘animal-listic magnetism’ ?!? #girl you’re not slick 🤧 #and this poor fella scrutinizing one of his own pictures #I wonder which one it was #Elvis was incapable of taking a bad photo idc #I’m crying over the fact that he never returned to the studio after the owner told him to stop singing #I’m living for petty Elvis #elvis presley #elvisaaronpresley #elvis #elvis photos #elvis history #elvis fans #50s Elvis #50s #elvis book excerpts

[trivialbob]

Last night Sheila and I went to a Minneapolis brewery to play Crokinole with other people. It wasn't a tournament. We just rotated around different tables to compete with various players in the loosely organized event.

When we first arrived a guy was already there getting set up. He had a really nice board. He examined our folding board and seemed to have doubts. People often ask if the center-line seam affects play. It does not.

He noted our bumper pegs were wood and lacked the rubber or silicon cover that the pegs on his board had. "Not as bouncy," he explained. I quietly wondered if we had purchased a deficient board. As more people arrived I saw at least half the boards had the wood pegs like ours. Whew!

That guy was super nice though. Before the games began he took time to practice with me and offered helpful advice that I welcomed.

He asked how often I waxed our board's surface. "Never, I mean not yet," I replied. He got out micro fiber towels and car wax spray and went to work on our board. I liked the results. The appearance didn't change, but the wood discs slid much better. I think I had better control over them after that. He also explained how to use shuffleboard wax/sawdust. One variety I saw was from France. I'm not sure it's legal in all 50 US states. Sheila said another one looked like popcorn salt. Thank goodness the brewery didn't offer popcorn, because she might have gotten sick!

Sheila and I were the oldest people there. Several of the players were younger than our two sons. I still enjoyed talking with them. It amused me that instead of talking about spouses and houses, as I might with my peers, I heard about boyfriends/girlfriends/roommates and apartments.

It was a fun evening.

#Sheila spotted someone holding a tiny dog inside a jacket #She went over to see the dog #The owner said “shhh” I don't know if the dog can be in here #Sheila told him the brewery is dog friendly #That made him happy

[crow-n-tell]

[NEW PEN HAS BEEN ACQUIRED]

#I paid for it #but I have told the dog owners of the destruction #and they are paying me for the dog sitting today #and a family member said that they will probably pay me back #if not #I’m just not gonna do that again seeing as they neglected to mention the dogs destructive tendencies

[sgt-celestial]

Second hand shop finds from the bottom of a cd pile in the corner 😁😁 AND A SURPRISE HUGE TREAT WHICH IM PICKING UP SATURDAY YAYYYYYYYY

#emi's meandering jotts #YOU GUYSSSSSS i saw Something and was like well i'll restrain myself. but then i told my brother and he was like I'LL BUY IT FOR YOU WTF cuz #its cheap as hell for what its worth. but anyway we messaged the owner and he was like yes we still have it ! :3 AND RESERVED IT FOR MEEE #this is exciting as fuckkkk not going to lie.

[blackbackedjackal]

Binging It's Me or the Dog and holy shit I'll never understand how people will just get dogs and not train them.

#if you guys have any horror stories about pet owners you've encountered at work feel free to spill the tea in the replies or anon #like I cannot believe how irresponsible so many people are #like literally maybe 5-15 minutes every hour or two has gotten Blue acting really well for a puppy #plus crates and gay baby jail are lifesavers like #i told my parents when I bought her crate and jail that this was for me more than her lol #jackal's journal

[reptiphoric]

So every so often I make the (poor) decision to peruse my local craigslist ads to see what's looking good in the neighborhood. Well, today I came across an ad posted by someone who needed to rehome their ball python since they're moving soon and couldn't take her with, and as you all know I'm always more than happy to take in a spider morph if it means keeping one more off of the breeding market...

Everyone say hi to Tipsy!

#She's a lil sweetie #Was gonna name her Weeble #But I asked her owner if she had a name and when they told me her name was Tipsy I couldnt bring myself to rename her #So Weeble is saved for another day #ball python #snake #reptiles #royal python #python regius #note that I only take in spiders as pet only animals and never directly from breeders who seek profit from breeding the morph #her wobble varies but as you can see from the photo she definitely is affected by it in casual/low stress settings #spider morph

[stopscammingartists]

On one hand this is hilarious and on the other I sense a real frustration from the group that they can't write off this blog as just 'transphobes'.

#they then proceed to talk extensively about how an ex-friend of mine lied to them and told them a server I'm in banned the word “feelings” #psychoanalyzing my friends and I based on this “fact” that is completely made up #genuinely getting upset at a guy that doesn't exist. Glip even made a shitty MS paint doodle about it. #The real story is the server owner asked people to avoid the word 'hurt' and explicitly said the word is not banned. #to encourage them to find more productive ways to express their thoughts and emotions without keeping it vague or going back to old habits. #this was a year before I even joined this server #lol lmao

[mingos]

officially put in my two weeks because my boss, who has always made me uncomfortable & treated me weirdly, has made me break down at work three days in a row. including the other day where he asked "do you have brain damage" in a frustrated way in response to me not being able to do something he decided was simple.

the only problem is... i do, (and he knows this because i've been upfront about my medical history) and how it effects my intelligence is has been my biggest insecurity since i was in elementary school. so i don't know if he was just mocking me, or just never paid attention (he comes to work drunk a lot, so maybe.)

anyway... the moral is don't let people treat you like shit. much love, friends. hope you're all alright.

#‘ 001. ’ (out of character) #neg // #as much as i'd like to quit immediately it's a small shop & i actually *do* like my other boss so i feel bad #my asshole boss is the actual store owner so i guess i'm technically still helping him but i'd rather leave graciously than not #i was always told that shit affects your resumé or something #anyway sorry if i'm extra sensitive & weird or conversely if i'm not talking as muchーgenuinely the most mortifying thing ever said to me #i haven't had my brain damage used as an insult since grade school

[concordewillfly]

save me beautiful 1999 edition of nausea by jean paul sartre save me

#it smells old :^) also i told the bookshop owner that the other book i was carrying in my tote was naked lunch and he just nodded. sicko to #sicko communication <3333 i love used books so much truly #t

[pearlcatcher]

Dalbeol is one of my Pearlcatchers of all time.....

#fr #flight rising #dragon share #pearlcatcher #matching familiar #OUUUUUU #funny story. i went to buy this dragon but then he was off the AH #so i contacted the owner to let them know i'm still interested despite his listing expiring #owner told me that they actually bought him #i was like oh man i'm sorry for bugging you about a dragon you just bought ahaa lmao (embarrassed) #time passes and then they dm me asking if i wanna buy him because they had too many projects #i was like yeah. how many gems #and now he's mine!!!! #also he is named after video game area #i have gamer brainrot

[muzzlemouths]

Sorry for spamming your blog, was showing some friends dead mall dare and got distracted. Have a great day/night!

STARES AT YOU WITH BIG ROUND TEARFUL EYES. It is not a problem in the slightest!!!!! <3

#i love when people spam my blog #makes me feel like a shop owner offering a delectable selection of wares #AND THANK YOU FOR TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT DMD #I'LL CRY???? #sorry this is a day late and dollar short btw #I was busy when I first got this ask and told myself I'd answer it when i got home #that was 4 days ago #whoopsie