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richukisbb · 5 years

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Okay so meeting them this time was an unreal experience and I’m shaking. We got to the venue around 5:30 and wasn’t inside until 8:30. Latin men are late, which they were about an hour behind tbh.

It was pouring rain but I made friends with other cncowners and that’s what I love about the fandom. One girl guessed I was a Richard and I’m like, “Damn how’d you know”

I’m gonna skip the nitty gritty like how I was fucking freezing, hungry (I hadn’t eaten much because I felt like I would vomit), and my feet sore because I was in heeled boots.

Also yes, they bought pizza for us but I wasn’t going to eat it in fear of pizza breath and being bloated.

When we got inside the venue, I took my mom, it was an intimate space. There were a bunch of rumors that we had to wear our jackets to take the pictures. But y’all I picked this outfit with the help of @yatusabess so I wasn’t gonna let it go to waste. Luckily, you could’ve left your things on the floor near the exit.

Also no phones. So if they saw you with your phone, you’d be kicked out of the line.

After setting all my stuff down, I had my photo of the basketball game on the ready.

Tóxica was playing on the loud speaker. Like okay, it’s not the best choice of hype song but it’s our boys so we stan.

Then we got closer to the front and Ya Tú Sabes starts playing, which slaps if you don’t listen to the lyrics.

Thankfully I actually know the lyrics.

Then I’m about two people behind from meeting them and the chorus hits so I’m dancing and singing. Ya Tú Sabes has that beat that’s so sensual?? I was just having fun to loosen the nerves.

Their videographer saw me dancing to the chorus and took video.

Then, Chris sees me and we’re kinda dancing together, pointing at each other and swaying our hips to the beat as though we were dancing with each other.

I swear it was like a Y/N moment we write about.

Here’s THE Christopher Velez just five feet away from me and we are matching the beat and not caring who’s watching us. Literally Ya Tú Sabes sounds like a bad bitch song so I’m feeling it and because I’m having fun with it, so is Chris.

Like I said before, thankful that Tóxica just finished playing because I can’t get down to that.

In fact, Chris got so distracted by our small dance party, he forgot he was supposed to be taking a picture with another fan and instead kept his eyes on me as we danced to Ya Tú Sabes.

In my head I’m thinking damn ok can we hit the clubs after this?? I don’t even wanna hook ups with you, I just want to have a good time.

One of the store managers is like “hug the first three, picture, then hug the last two.”

I’m just agreeing with her but highkey no one listens to that.

So now it’s my turn and I go to CHRIS and show him my picture. CHRIS takes the photo and is genuinely trying to recall the memory so I said, “I don’t know if you remember but we took this photo. My ex broke up with me because he saw it and turns out he was cheating on me.”

I was trying to be fast and coherent. When you’re at a M&G you have to utilize every second you have.

Now Chris and Erick are both staring at the photo then at me. Chris’ mouth is hung open trying to process what I said.

Erick takes hold of my right bicep and says, “Wait really?”

I remember this because in order to reply I had to look into those STUNNING JADE eyes!!

So I nodded, “Yes. Really. He BROKE up with me. But he was the one cheating all along.”

I’m so proud of Erick and how far he’s come to be a buy linguini king ✊🏼

Wbk but Erick is really fucking beautiful lol.

But then Alex, their security, is rushing us like “picture, picture” so I go to hug Zabdiel and Richard.

Richard cheek kisses me and hugs me like we’re best friends and he’s like “Hi baby.” Pretty sure the hug was longer than the other boys but that’s because I’m most comfortable with Rich.

Tbh what I remember about Richard was how firm his embrace was and feeling his lips against my cheeks. He was super chill.

I’m not.

I’ll rob a bank for that man.

The boys originally stood in a 5 line formation but none of them were paying attention to their managers or Alex and instead they broke formation to huddle around me and are talking to me.

CHRIS cuts in front of Erick and Zabdiel to ask, “Wait so you found out about him cheating because of us?”

I was prepping for the photo said, “Yeah and I’m so so thankful. You have no idea.”

Richard was all proud and piped up “Oh yeah! I remember that day and about your ex.”

He would remember because I met him in August and spilled everything back then. Rich was so cute when he said that like he was closer to me than the others.

Like we had a secret the others didn’t have.

It was funny to see how they all kinda competed over who remembered me and that game. When really it was probably Richard that recalled me most since I actually sat next to him and talked with him.

Honestly there were too many hands holding my own and lips on my cheeks to remember who did what and where.

But the first picture is taken. I remember a hand being outreached and I placed my own in it and whoever it was, gripped onto me tight. I got the photo and didn’t know I was holding Chris’ hand but damn, I felt loved.

FACTS THE BOYS SMELL WONDERFUL!!!

During the first picture, I really felt like I was on a cloud or something. They were all so soft and I was being surrounded by cozy hoodies and warm bodies.

I was hugging Richard again, he kisses my cheek. Richard consumes me like nobody’s business.

I know Joel said “Wait! I remember that day.”

I feel like Joel really wanted to be a part of the commotion and that was sweet.

Their videographer actually took photo or video of the basketball picture I brought them.

Now it was my mom’s turn for her picture. Her first language is Spanish so she’s talking to the boys in Spanish like it’s no big deal.

I’m standing between Joel and Richard. Richard turns to me like “Honestly, forget that N-word, I told you before.”

And I said “Yeah, I know.”

I appreciate Richard for the fact he’s ALWAYS taken the time to talk to me privately.

Even if it’s just for a moment, a second, Richuki has always made me feel seen and heard.

Back in August, even when they rushed him into the bus, he turned around to me to say “Move onto the next one.”

Then yesterday, as I was standing by him, he turns to me to reaffirm that I’ll be okay.

That I can move on.

My mom is talking in Spanish to Zabdiel and Erick, whom btw were mystified that my mom was speaking Spanish. I was watching Zabdiel’s face and he was tilting his head and nodding at my mom like she’s some sea creature at an aquarium.

My mom says she felt the boys wanted to ask how she knew Spanish but didn’t know how to approach the question.

As my mom is lining up for her picture, I asked Richard, “Can we do a proposal picture because that’s my mom?”

So he’s like “Sure what do you want me to do?”

Richard looked behind him and made sure there was enough room between him and Zab to actually do this photo.

Quickly, he grabs my hand and gets down on one knee.

I love how down he was for it. He didn’t hesitate or question anything, he just got to his knee and took my hands.

If you look at the progression of the photos, it’s my smiling mom totally unaware that her daughter is aboutta get proposed to. Richard is a little blurry because he’s getting on his knee and I look genuinely surprised that it’s happening.

Then my mom sees Richard, the second photo, and maybe it’s finally clicking.

The third photo, of course Richard is sticking his tongue out and my mom is hella shocked she just got a new son-in-law.

Richard said: Her last ex fucked up but it’s okay because she upgraded 😛

It was everything I wanted. I was surrounded by all the men we love, my mom was there, and it was professionally taken!!

Oh and as Richard was getting to his knee, the rest of the band, was making cooing noises.

I remember Joel because he was right next to us, going like “oh woah. Woah. Woah.” Hence why he’s making those 😱 face.

I think he’s the one that gets asked to “propose” most or so I’ve seen from the pictures. That’s why I think for Richuki to do it, the boys support.

Anyways, the boys are doing their typical hoot and holler.

And I’m fucking giddy af. Like pretty sure I blacked out. Just seeing Richuki and feeling his hands hold mine was so unreal.

They snap that photo and I’m absolutely so happy.

My mom says “I was getting ready for the picture and suddenly I see him get on his knees so I’m shocked. I had no idea he was gonna do that.”

Richard and Joel hug and kiss my cheeks again. We say, “bye” again. My mom goes to hug Richard and BYPASSES JOEL but Joel thought she was gonna hug him so I had to nudge her. Then she turns to Joel and they hug, it was actually cute.

Then security cuts off our bracelets and they say, “you should leave the photo for them.”

So I wrote a little note and left it with them.

If any of y’all get to meet them, my biggest advice is to have fun. You get back what you give into the M&G. It’s okay to be nervous but don’t let nerves run your experience. Be honest with them, talk about music, and just remember they’re people too.

Also etiquette, don’t shove your hands down their pants or tongue in their throats. There are some poses that are obviously more comfortable for the boys than others. I know we all want that picture perfect shot but I saw some pictures and the boys weren’t totally themselves.

That kind of discomfort translates into the final shot.

Finally, I wanna always thank the boys for everything they’ve done.

They helped me out of a bad relationship, they’ve given me a whole genre of music that’s extended my music library, and above all they gave me this CNCOwner family, that I couldn’t go a day without being a part of.

I’m eternally grateful for everyone here 😘💕💕

#idkk if anyone cares #but here's a breakdown of my experiences with the m&g yesterday!!!#love you all #cnco #richard camacho #erick brian colon #joel pimentel #zabdiel de jesus #christopher velez

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featherwriterweather · 6 years

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A concert to remember

I know its long and the date was a month ago, but I was too inspired. Read to the end.

I woke up not as early as usual. Today was 8th March, the International women’s day. Renato was really kind and let me take the day off to celebrate me being a woman. It felt so good to sleep until the sun has actually risen. I woke up with my hair up on a bun, blankets neatly over me and one beautiful white rose on the side of the bed where Christopher was usually sleeping. He was so sweet to me, making me feel like a real queen. It was the best thing to wake up and see one beautifully scented rose next to me.

Christopher had already gotten ready and gone down to the hotel lobby to join the other four for breakfast before they head out to do some radio interviews and the sound check for the concert they had the same night. Six years had gone by since I met Christopher and the fire between us exploaded. The way we met was a litle funny, yet incredible. I had just arrived to the US and finished my makeup artist course. I applied everywhere I could. Probably it was fate, but a month after I applied for a boy band travelling makeup artist, I got called up. The day I went to my interview I was nervously shaking for some reason. The interview was in Sony Music Latin in Miami. I entered the hallway still being nervous. I saw five boys playing European football with a ball made out of paper wrapped in duckt tape. Three of them were with their back to me. One of them started walking backwards, he didn’t know I was behind him and that’s why he was just as surprised when he bumped into me. He turned around to catch me from falling, but slipped instead and we both fell on the floor. He quickly stood up and helped me, saying he was sorry in the mean while. The other four were laughing so hard that Renato, who interviewed me at the time, came out of his office to see what was happening. The boy, who was Christopher, was turning red of embarrassment. Something between us clicked at that moment. He looked into my eyes and smiled kindly. He let go of me only when Renato cleared his throat loud enough for all the building to hear him. That day was, in a matter of fact, 8th March. And here we were, six years later. I was their makeup artist and travelled the world with them and I was calling myself Chris’ girlfriend. My life had changed so much since, but for the better. And today not only I had a celebration, we also had an anniversary.

I got out of bed, took a shower and got ready. Then I went down for breakfast. The boys were still eating and about to leave in a few minutes. I approached them and smiled. They had ordered me coffee and my favourite veggie breakfast. They knew I would come down on ime to eat together. They all smiled back at me as I sat down.

“Feliz día de la mujer!” They said in one voice as each pulled out one white rose from under the table. My eyes watered up. I was shown one more time how lucky I was to have them in my life as my friends, as my co-workers and as my brothers. Looking back, who would have guessed I would be known as travelling makeup artist, let alone having breakfast with the hottest boy band in Latin America and holding the roses they have given me. I quickly brushed my tears and put the rosses carefully on the chair next to me. They had to go do their interviews and sound check, they stood up and excused themselves. Before they left me alone I got a kiss from all of them. Richard kissed my forehead, Erick kissed my cheek, Joel placed a kiss on the top of my head, Zabdi kissed my hand and Chris gave me a quick peck on my lips.

I wasn’t mad that I had to finish my breakfast alone. They had to do their resposibilities and yet they had the time to buy me flowers, order my favorite food and, of course, tag me and their moms on their IG stories. How could I be mad at them for such thing? After I finished eating, I made sure to call all of the moms and sisters in our extended musical family, as well as my mom. Working with so many latinas, I learned spanish really fast. Of course, I went to my IG and recorded a quick video for my fans and friends.

The rest of the day went by fast. I had forgotten what it is like to be free all day. Their interviews were over, as well as the sound check, the fans were already piling up in the stadium. I spent my time at the hotel trying outfits and makeup looks while my team got the boys ready behind the scenes. An hour before the concert started, Renato came and took me with his car. I was starting to feel something was happening behind my back. Little did I know how right I was.

We arrived at the stadium just in time. I went behind the scenes, we did our traditional good luck hand over hand salute, they all gave me the usual cheek kiss good luck and I sent them on stage. Renato insisted I should go up front and watch the concert. That was strange, though. He never insisted on me doing things like that, because he knew I would do it anyways. Even though, I did as I was told. The concert was more than amazing. As usual, fans were pulled on stage, roses were given as a present for being such dedicated fans. One of the girls pulled up on stage even got a proposal. I was thinking to myself that this day couldn’t get any better, I was wrong, of course. You know how it happens exactly the opposite when you think it can not get any better or any worse. There are the Murphy laws.

I continued watching the concert and admiring the sweet proposal this girl had. Almost at the end of the concert the music didn’t transition from song to song, but stopped. Christopher looked at me, smiled and brought his mic to his mouth and started talking. “Before we sing the last song for tonight, which is also very symbolic to us, to me, I want to thank you all. Miami has always been a place of memories and emotions to me. Seven years ago I came to this country to work, a year later I came here, in Miami, and auditioned for La Banda. That’s when I met the most amazing woman in my life, my lovely girlfriend. She was new to the country, too. I would like to bring her here, on stage, but you have to help me. Call her up with me, c’mon!”

Everybody started scanding my name. A heatwave spread along my body. I had a tangling sensation in my stomach. I had the feeling this would not be only a thankful speech. Anyways, I tried to caml myself down as I walked up on stage. When I got there, the audience started clapping and cheering. Chris stretched his hand out for mine. I went up to him and took his hand as he continued talking. “This woman, that I have the priviledge to hold hands with, is the best thing Miami could have given me. I remember the first time I looked in her eyes. I knew nothing would ever be the same again. Today not only we celebrate her being a woman, we celebrate our sixth anniversary.” At this point I was already crying and shaking. He turned to me, looked me in the eyes and went on." The way we met was so funny. I bumped into her, practically I fell on top of her. That was the best thing I could do. It changed my life forever. I am who I am because of you. You made me believe in everything I do, in everything I dream of. I can’t believe I had gotten so lucky to have you by my side. For six years we built a life I was used seeing only in movies. We have a beautiful home, that we rarely have the chance to enjoy. I hear ‘I love you’ everyday and that makes me the happiest man. You share my smiles, my tears, my dreams, my ups and downs. My life is perfect the way it is. There is only one thing missing, mi amor. That is a ring on you finger” as he said that he pulled out a velvet ring box from his pocket and got down on one knee. I started crying even more. My hand went up to my mouth. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. My feeling was right, there really was something happening behind my back, but all was worth it. The boys started jumping behind me, everyone started cheering. I looked at Chris, he was crying, too. I have imagined this moment so many times, but I never could have thought it would be that perfect. Chris started talking again, his voice cracking “Bebé, mi amor, mi vida, te casarías conmigo?”

My makeup was already ruined from all the tears. I couldn’t think, nor speak. I nodded and managed somehow to shout “Sí” before I threw myself around his neck. Everybody started cheering again. I was still shaking as he slipped the ring on my finger. He stood up and hugged me, sweeping me off of my feet. Zadbi screamed on his mic “She said yes”. The crowd was screaming, the band started to play ‘Primera cita’. As Chris put me down I saw Richard coming towards us shaking one big bottle of champaign. He opened it and started splashing it on us. At the same time Joel came towards me with one big bouquet of red roses. I wasn’t really realizing what had just happened to me. When I first came to America, when I went to Sony Music for my interview I never knew my life would change so much. But I wouldn’t trade for the world. That was the best night in my entire life.

As we were walking down from the stage I looked up to the sky and saw a shooting star. “Make a wish” Chris said. “I have everything I could ever wish for.” I said. But I did make a wish upon the shooting star. I wished that every woman out there, no matter from where she is, would meet a man like Christopher one day. And that this man would take care of her and treat her like a queen, because all women deserve nothing less.

#christopherimagine #christopher velez #romanticimagine #sweet #cnco imagines #cncowners #cnco #romance

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uomo-accattivante · 6 years

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On 21 August 2017, the Great American Eclipse caused a diagonal swathe of darkness to fall across the United States from Charleston, South Carolina on the East Coast to Lincoln City, Oregon on the West. In Manhattan, which was several hundred miles outside the path of totality, a gentle gloom fell over the city. Yet still office workers emptied out onto the pavements, wearing special paper glasses if they had been organised; holding up their phones and blinking nervously if they hadn’t. Despite promises that it was to be lit up for the occasion, there was no discernible twinkle from the Empire State Building; on Fifth Avenue, the darkened glass façade of Trump Tower grew a little dimmer. In Central Park Zoo, where children and tourists brandished pinhole cameras made from cereal boxes, Betty, a grizzly bear, seized the opportunity to take an unscrutinised dip.

Across the East River in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, Oscar Isaac, a 38-year-old Guatemalan-American actor and one of the profession’s most talented, dynamic and versatile recent prospects, was, like Betty, feeling too much in the sun. It was his day off from playing Hamlet in an acclaimed production at the Public Theater in Manhattan and he was at home on vocal rest. He kept a vague eye on the sky from the balcony of the one-bedroom apartment he shares — until their imminent move to a leafier part of Brooklyn — with his wife, the Danish documentary film-maker Elvira Lind, their Boston Terrier French Bulldog-cross Moby (also called a “Frenchton”, though not by him), and more recently, and to Moby’s initial consternation, their four-month-old son, Eugene.

Plus, he’s seen this kind of thing before. “I was in Guatemala in 1992 when there was a full solar eclipse,” he says the next day, sitting at a table in the restaurant of a fashionably austere hotel near his Williamsburg apartment, dressed in dark T-shirt and jeans and looking — amazingly, given his current theatrical and parental commitments — decidedly fresh. “The animals went crazy; across the whole city you could hear the dogs howling.” Isaac happened to be in Central America, he’ll mention later, because Hurricane Andrew had ripped the roof off the family home in Miami, Florida, while he and his mother, uncle, siblings and cousins huddled inside under couches and cushions. So yes, within the spectrum of Oscar Isaac’s experiences, the Great American Eclipse is no biggie.

Yet there is another upcoming celestial event that will have a reasonably significant impact on Isaac’s life. On 15 December, Star Wars: The Last Jedi will be released in cinemas, which, if you bought a ticket to Star Wars: The Force Awakens — and helped it gross more than $2bn worldwide — you’ll know is a pretty big deal. You’ll also know that Isaac plays Poe Dameron, a hunky, wise-cracking X-wing fighter pilot for the Resistance who became one of the most popular characters of writer-director JJ Abram’s reboot of the franchise thanks to Isaac’s charismatic performance and deadpan delivery (see his “Who talks first?” exchange with Vader-lite baddie Kylo Ren: one of the film’s only comedic beats).

And if you did see Star Wars: The Force Awakens you’ll know that, due to some major father-son conflict, there’s now an opening for a loveable, rogueish, leather-jacket-wearing hero… “Heeeeeh!” says Isaac, Fonzie-style, when I say as much. “Well, there could be, but I think what [The Last Jedi director] Rian [Johnson] did was make it less about filling a slot and more about what the story needs. The fact is now that the Resistance has been whittled to just a handful of people, they’re running for their lives, and Leia is grooming me — him — to be a leader of the Resistance, as opposed to a dashing, rogue hero.”

While he says he has “not that much more, but a little more to do” in this film, he can at least be assured he survives it; he starts filming Episode IX early next year.

If Poe seems like one of the new Star Wars firmament now — alongside John Boyega’s Finn, Daisy Ridley’s Rey and Poe’s spherical robot sidekick BB-8 — it’s only because Isaac willed it. Abrams had originally planned to kill Poe off, but when he met Isaac to discuss him taking the part, Isaac expressed some reservations. “I said that I wasn’t sure because I had already done that role in other movies where you kind of set it up for the main people and then you die spectacularly,” he remembers. “What’s funny is that [producer] Kathleen Kennedy was in the room and she was like, ‘Yeah, you did that for us in Bourne!’” (Sure enough, in 2012’s Bourne Legacy, Jeremy Renner’s character, Aaron Cross, steps out of an Alaskan log cabin while Isaac’s character, Outcome Agent 3, stays inside; a few seconds later the cabin is obliterated by a missile fired from a passing drone.)

This ability to back himself — judiciously and, one can imagine after meeting him, with no small amount of steely charm — seems to have served Isaac well so far. It’s what also saw him through the casting process for his breakthrough role in Joel and Ethan Coen’s 2014 film Inside Llewyn Davis, about a struggling folk singer in Sixties New York, partly based on the memoir of nearly-was musician Dave Van Ronk. Isaac, an accomplished musician himself, got wind that the Coens were casting and pestered his agent and manager to send over a tape, eventually landing himself an audition.

“I knew it was based on Dave Van Ronk and I looked nothing like him,” says Isaac. “He was a 6ft 5in, 300lb Swede and I was coming in there like… ‘Oh man.’” But then he noticed that the casting execs had with them a picture of the singer-songwriter Ray LaMontagne. “Suddenly, I got some confidence because he’s small and dark so I said to the casting director, ‘Oh cool, is that a reference?’ And they were like, 'No, he just came in here and he killed it.’” Isaac throws his head back and laughs. “They literally said, 'He killed it.’ It was so good!”

In the end it was Isaac who killed it in Inside Llewyn Davis, with a performance that was funny, sad, cantankerous and moving. The film was nominated for two Oscars and three Golden Globes, one of them for Isaac in the category of: “Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — comedy or musical” (he lost to Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street). No cigar that time, but in 2016 he won a Golden Globe for his turn as a doomed mayor in David Simon’s HBO drama, Show Me a Hero. This year, and with peculiar hillbilly affectation, Vanity Fair proclaimed Isaac “the best dang actor of his generation”. It is not much of a stretch to imagine that, some day very soon, Isaac may become the first Oscar since Hammerstein to win the award whose name he shares. Certainly, the stars seem ready to align.

Of course, life stories do not run as neatly as all that and Isaac’s could have gone quite differently. He was born Óscar Isaac Hernández Estrada in Guatemala City, to which his father, Óscar, now a pulmonologist, had moved from Washington DC in order to attend medical school (having escaped to the States from Cuba just before the revolution) and where he met Isaac’s mother, Eugenia. Five months after Isaac was born, the family — also including an older sister, Nicole, and later joined by a younger brother, Michael — moved to America in order for Óscar Senior to complete his residencies: first to Baltimore, then New Orleans, eventually settling in Miami when Isaac was six.

Miami didn’t sit entirely right with him. “The Latin culture is so strong which was really nice,” he says, “but you had to drive everywhere, and it’s also strangely quite conservative. Money is valued, and nice cars and clothes, and what you look like, and that can get sort of tedious.” Still it was there, aged 11, that he took to the stage for the first time. The Christian middle school he attended put on performances in which the kids would mime to songs telling loosely biblical stories, including one in which Jesus and the Devil take part in a boxing match in heaven (note the word “loosely”). For that one, Isaac played the Devil. In another, he played Jesus calling Lazarus from the grave. “So yeah,” he laughs, “I’ve got the full range!’

He enjoyed the mixture of the attention and the “extreme nature of putting yourself out there in front of a bunch of people”, plus it gave him some release from stresses at home: his parents were separating and his mother became ill. His school failed to see these as sufficiently mitigating factors for Isaac’s subsequent wayward behaviour and, following an incident with a fire extinguisher, he was expelled. “It wasn’t that bad. They wanted me out of there. I was very happy to go.”

Following his parents’ divorce, he moved with his mother to Palm Beach, Florida, where he enrolled at a public high school. “It was glorious, I loved it,” says Isaac. “I loved it so much. I could walk to the beach every day, and go to this wild school where I became friends with so many different kinds of people. I met these guys who lived in the trailer parks in Boynton Beach and started a band, and my mom and my little brother would come and spy on me to see if I was doing drugs or anything, and I never was.”

Never?

“No, because I didn’t drink till I was, like, 24. Even though I stopped being religious, I liked the individuality of being the guy who didn’t do that stuff. Maybe it was the observer part of me… I liked being a little bit detached, and I wasn’t interested in doing something that was going to make me lose control.”

When he was 14, Isaac and his band-mates played at a talent show. They chose to perform 'Rape Me’ by Nirvana. “I remember singing to the parents, 'Rape meeee!’” Isaac laughs so hard he gives a little snort. “Yeah,” he says, composing himself again, “we didn’t win.” But something stuck and Isaac ended up being in a series of ska-punk outfits, first Paperface, then The Worms and later The Blinking Underdogs who, legend has it, would go on to support Green Day. “Supported… Ha! It was a festival…” says Isaac. “But hey, we played the same day, at the same festival, within a few hours of each other.” (On YouTube you can find a clip from 2001 of The Blinking Underdogs performing in a battle of the bands contest at somewhere called Spanky’s. Isaac is wearing a 'New York City’ T-shirt and brandishing a wine-coloured Flying V electric guitar.)

Still, Isaac’s path was uncertain. At one point he thought about joining the Marines. “The sax player in my band had grown up in a military family so we were like, 'Hey, let’s work out and get all ripped and be badasses!’” he says. “I was like, 'Yeah, I’ll do combat photography!’ My dad was really against it. He said, 'Clinton’s just going to make up a war for you guys to go to,’ so I had to have the recruiters come all the way down to Miami where my dad was living and they convinced him to let me join. I did the exam, I took the oath, but then we had gotten the money together to record an album with The Worms. I decided I’d join the Reserves instead. I said I wanted to do combat photography. They said, 'We don’t do that in the Reserves, but we can give you anti-tank?’ Ha! I was like, 'it’s a liiiiiittle different to what I was thinking…’”

Even when he started doing a few professional theatre gigs in Miami he was still toying with the idea of a music career, until one day, while in New York playing a young Fidel Castro in an off-Broadway production of Rogelio Martinez’s play, When it’s Cocktail Time in Cuba, he happened to pass by renowned performing arts school Juilliard. On a whim, he asked for an audition. He was told the deadline had passed. He insisted. They gave him a form. He filled it in and brought it back the next day. They post-dated it. He got in. And the rest is history. Only it wasn’t.

“In the second year they would do cuts,” Isaac says. “If you don’t do better they kick you out. All the acting teachers wanted me on probation, because they didn’t think I was trying hard enough.” Not for the first or last time, he held his ground. “It was just to spur me to do better I think, but I definitely argued.”

He stayed for the full course at Juilliard, though it was a challenge, not only because he’d relaxed his own non-drinking rule but also because he was maintaining a long-distance relationship with a girlfriend back in Florida. “For me, the twenties were the more difficult part of life. Four years is just… masochistic. We were a particularly close group but still, it’s really intense.” (Among his fellow students at the time were the actress Jessica Chastain, with whom he starred in the 2014 mob drama A Most Violent Year, and Sam Gold, his director in Hamlet.) He says he broadly kept it together: “I was never a mess, I just had a lot of confusion.” He got himself an agent in the graduation scrum, and soon started picking up work: a Law & Order here, a Shakespeare in the Park there; even, in 2006, a biblical story to rival his early efforts, playing Joseph in The Nativity Story (the first film to hold its premiere at the Vatican, no less).

By the time he enrolled at Juilliard he had already dropped “Hernández” and started going by Oscar Isaac, his two first given names. And for good reason. “When I was in Miami, there were a couple of other Oscar Hernándezes I would see at auditions. All [casting directors] would see me for was 'the gangster’ or whatever, so I was like, 'Well, let me see if this helps.’ I remember there was a casting director down there because [Men in Black director] Barry Sonnenfeld was doing a movie; she said, 'Let’s bring in this Oscar Isaac,’ and he was like, 'No no no! I just want Cubans!’ I saw Barry Sonnenfeld a couple of years ago and I told him that story — 'I don’t want a Jew, I want a Cuban!’”

Perhaps it’s a sad indictment of the entertainment industry that a Latino actor can’t expect a fair run at parts without erasing some of the ethnic signifiers in his own name, but on a personal basis at least, Isaac’s diverse role roster speaks to the canniness of his decision. He has played an English king in Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood(2010), a Russian security guard in Madonna’s Edward-and-Mrs-Simpson drama W.E. (2011), an Armenian medical student in Terry George’s The Promise (2017) and — yes, Barry — a small, dark American Jew channelling a large blond Swede.

But then, of course, there are roles he’s played where ethnicity was all but irrelevant and talent was everything. Carey Mulligan’s ex-con husband Standard in Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive in 2011 (another contender for his “spectacular deaths” series); mysterious technocrat Nathan Bateman in the beautifully poised sci-fi Ex Machina (2014) written and directed by Alex Garland (with whom he has also shot Annihilation — dashing between different sound stages at Pinewood while shooting The Last Jedi — which is due out next year). Or this month’s Suburbicon, a neat black comedy directed by George Clooney from an ancient Coen brothers script, in which Isaac cameos as a claims investigator looking into some dodgy paperwork filed by Julianne Moore and Matt Damon, and lights up every one of his brief scenes.

Isaac is a very modern kind of actor: one who shows range and versatility without being bland; who is handsome with his dark, intense eyes, heavy brows and thick curls, but not so freakishly handsome that it is distracting; who shows a casual disregard for the significance of celebrity and keeps his family, including his father, who remarried and had another son and daughter, close. It’s a testament to his skill that when he takes on a character, be it English royal or Greenwich Village pauper, it feels like — with the possible exception of Ray LaMontagne — it could never have been anyone else.

Today, though, he’s a Danish prince. To say that Isaac’s turn in Hamlet has caused a frenzy in New York would be something of an understatement. Certainly, it’s a sell-out. The Sunday before we meet, Al Pacino had been in. So scarce are tickets that Isaac’s own publicist says she’s unlikely to be able to get me one, and as soon as our interview is over I hightail it to the Public Theater to queue up to be put on the waiting list for returns for tonight’s performance. (I am seventh in line, and in my shameless desperation I tell the woman in front of me that I’ve flown over from London just to interview Isaac in the hope that she might let me jump the queue. She ponders it for a nanosecond, before another woman behind me starts talking about how her day job involves painting pictures of chimpanzees, and I lose the crowd.)

Clearly, Hamlet is occupying a great deal of Isaac’s available brain space right now, and not just the fact that he’s had to memorise approximately 1,500 lines. “Even tonight it’s different, what the play means to me,” he says. “It’s almost like a religious text, because it has the ambiguity of the Bible where you can look at one line and it can mean so many different things depending on how you meditate on it. Even when I have a night where I feel not particularly connected emotionally, it can still teach me. I’ll say a line and I’ll say, 'Ah, that’s good advice, Shakespeare, thank you.’”

Hamlet resonates with Isaac for reasons that he would never have foreseen or have wished for. While playing a young man mourning the untimely death of his father, Isaac was himself a young man mourning the untimely death of his mother, who died in February after an illness. Doing the play became a way to process his loss.

“It’s almost like this is the only framework where you can give expression to such intense emotions. Otherwise anywhere else is pretty inappropriate, unless you’re just in a room screaming to yourself,” he says. “This play is a beautiful morality tale about how to get through grief; to experience it every night for the last four months has definitely been cathartic but also educational; it has given structure to something that felt so overwhelming.”

In March, a month after Eugenia died, Isaac and Lind married, and then in April Eugene, named in remembrance of his late grandmother, was born. I ask Isaac about the shift in perspective that happens when you become a parent; whether he felt his own focus switch from being a son to being a father.

“It happened in a very dramatic way,” he says. “In a matter of three months my mother passed and my son was born, so that transition was very alive, to the point where I was telling my mom, 'I think you’re going to see him on the way out, tell him to listen to me as much as he can…’” He gives another laugh, but flat this time. “It was really tough because for me she was the only true example of unconditional love. It’s painful to know that that won’t exist for me anymore, other than me giving it to him. So now this isn’t happening” — he raises his arms towards the ceiling, gesturing a flow coming down towards him — “but now it goes this way” — he brings his arms down, making the same gesture, but flowing from him to the floor.

Does performing Hamlet, however pertinent its themes, ever feel like a way of refracting his own experiences, rather than feeling them in their rawest form?

“Yeah it is,” he says, “I’m sure when it’s over I don’t know how those things will live.” He pauses. “I’m a little bit… I don’t know if 'concerned’ is the right word, but as there’s only two weeks left of doing it, I’m curious to see what’s on the other end, when there’s no place to put it all.”

It’s a thoughtful, honest answer; one that doesn’t shy away from the emotional complexities of what he’s experiencing and is still to face, but admits to his own ignorance of what comes next. Because, although Isaac is clearly dedicated to his current lot, he has also suffered enough slings and arrows to know where self-determination has its limits.

What he does know is happening on the other end of Hamlet is “disconnection”, also known as a holiday, and he plans to travel with Lind to Maine where her documentary, Bobbi Jene, is screening at a film festival. Then he will fly to Buenos Aires for a couple of months filming Operation Finale, a drama about the 1960 Israeli capture of Adolf Eichmann which Isaac is producing and in which he also stars as Mossad agent Peter Malkin, with Eichmann played by Sir Ben Kingsley. At some point after that he will get sucked into the vortex of promotion for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, of which today’s interview is an early glimmer.

But before that, he will unlock the immaculate black bicycle that he had chained up outside the hotel and disappear back into Brooklyn. Later, he will take the subway to Manhattan an hour-and-a-half or so before curtain. To get himself ready, and if the mood takes him, he will listen to Venezuelan musician Arca’s self-titled album or Sufjan Stevens’ Carrie and Lowell, light a candle, and look at a picture of his mother that he keeps in his dressing room.

Then, just before seven o'clock, he will make his way to the stage where, for the next four hours, he will make the packed house believe he is thinking Hamlet’s thoughts for the very first time, and strut around in his underpants feigning madness, and — for reasons that make a lot more sense if you’re there which, thanks to a last-minute phone-call from the office of someone whose name I never did catch, I was — stab a lasagna. And then at the end of Act V, when Hamlet lies dead, and as lightning staggers across the night sky outside the theatre, finally bringing the promised drama to the Manhattan skyline, the audience, as one, will rise.

Fashion by Allan Kennedy. Star Wars: The Last Jedi is out on 15 December. The December issue of Esquire is out now.

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#oscar isaac #esquire uk #star wars #the last jedi #interview #david slijper #article

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wiremagazine · 4 years

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IN MEMORIAM: HENRIETTA ROBINSON. A LIFE WELL LIVED

By Rafa Carvajal Photos provided by Henrietta’s friends

It is with great sadness that I write this In Memoriam about Henrietta Robinson, a beloved member of our LGBTQ community who lived in South Beach for over 60 years and passed away last week from COVID-19. I was in my office at Q Link Wireless when I heard the news about Henrietta’s passing, and I could not help but to start crying. Once I was able to compose myself, my thoughts shifted to that day I sat next to Henrietta for three hours at the "Cheers" bar downstairs at TWIST and listened attentively, over cocktails, to her wonderful and fascinating stories about her life and the history of South Beach. I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life.

As soon as she turned 18, Henrietta ran away from a very unstable family life in Boston and came to South Beach. Henrietta knew she was gay as a kid and was ostracized by her family and friends, but once she left, Henrietta never looked back. It actually took her family a full year to realize Henrietta was living in South Beach.

What better way to honor Henrietta’s memory and celebrate her life than to let some people who knew her well tell us why she was such a special person – in their own words.

Rafa Carvajal: What is your fondest memory of Henrietta? Peter Morales: My fondest memory of Henrietta was meeting her in the early-mid ‘90s at the Warsaw Ballroom where she would usually stand on the second floor overlooking the people dancing on the dance floor and enjoying life. She would always say hello to me when I walked by, with a huge smile, and always was full of compliments, and had a positive outlook on life about everything and everyone. She was such a happy and content person. Nathan Smith: My fondest memory of Henrietta would have to be the times she spent at my bar every Saturday and Sunday night. She would always come early, always have the same seat, and she had a special cup. I bought her many throughout the years, but it was always so important to me that she had a different glass than everyone else. She deserved to feel special and honored. She was an icon and having her sit at my bar was an honor. David Johnson: One of my fondest memories of Henrietta is how she made her birthday a true celebration of life. It felt as though we were all part of her family there to share in the fabulous festivities! Every year, she made us all feel connected to her life by bringing us together. Mario Trejo: My fondest memory of Henrietta is from back in 2009. She and Don Chung came over to my house and cooked a special dinner for me and my then boyfriend at the time. She had been asking me to come over and cook for us, when it finally happened Henrietta was so excited and happy to do it. She made us a lobster and pasta dish that was out of this world. I felt honored that she wanted to come over and do that for us. The true essence of a giving heart is the joy they receive from giving and seeing the reaction and appreciation on that person’s face. That was her reward, her joy and her love.

RC: What made Henrietta such a special person? Joel Stedman: Simply her being her. Henrietta was a constant in many of our lives in nightlife. We attended almost every White Party together, she never missed a TWIST anniversary and every year was a feature in our float presentation for Miami Beach Gay Pride. I enjoyed her immensely. Her smile, her laugh, what amazing stories she would tell. She was that one person you could always walk up to and had nothing but sweet things to say. It is the end of an era, losing both her and Richard within the same year. When it is safe for all of us to get together again, we will have a mad celebration in her honor. Somebody will have to bring the cookies. PM: Henrietta always glowed and shined wherever you saw her. She was a beam of light with a bright aura. Everyone always wanted to say hello to Henrietta, speak with her, and, of course, have their picture taken with her! NS: What made Henrietta so special is that she always lived her truth. Henrietta did what made her happy and gave no apologies for who she was. She was and always will be an example for us all to be our true authentic selves. DJ: Her unique style set her apart from all the rest! Henrietta always had a warm and loving smile to share with everyone. Her iconic personality lit up any room and made everyone feel happy and at ease. MT: Henrietta loved to give. She was a true giver and she did it better than anyone. She gave from her heart whether it was your favorite dish, favorite dessert, or a Christmas gift wrapped in an envelope. This woman prided herself not only on wearing the best Bob Mackie ensembles and finest diamond, gold and platinum jewelry (all custom made), but also in her giving – and I can’t stress that enough! I remember for Christmas she would give everyone $100 bill in an envelope, and she went to all the gay clubs in South Beach. She made it a point to go to TWIST, Palace, Score and Mova, and give everyone an envelope. You could see the joy on her face as she gave it to you. That was her reward, to see you get excited and happy made her happy. On that she was consistent until the very end. The last thing I remember her making for Nathan, myself, JD, Michael, and many others at TWIST before it closed from the coronavirus pandemic, was brownies (not the fun brownies lol). They were so delicious! We ate them with a fresh cup of coffee from Nathan’s coffee maker. She always cooked or baked weekly and had that, “I can’t wait to give it to them attitude.” She would walk up the stairs in bar 4 with her big Saks Fifth Avenue bag filled with all the dishes she was going to hand out that night, and she did that almost every Saturday without fail! She lived to give. It was who she was.

RC: What else would you like to share with Wire Magazine readers about Henrietta? PM: Henrietta was always so thoughtful throughout our years of friendship, especially during the holiday seasons with her beyond amazing and delicious lasagnas, baked goods and pies. Several years ago she gifted me a 21-piece "Temp-tations" Ovenware Kitchen Bake Set for cooking and serving since she knew I loved to cook, and that I always cooked for my entire family during the holiday seasons. I cherish and love this cookset so much and think of her every time I use it.

I will miss seeing Henrietta and speaking with her, but I will never forget Henrietta, and especially how she made me feel every time we saw each other. NS: She loved you all. Nothing made Henrietta happier than when people would approach her for a picture, and she loved hearing your life stories and telling you hers. She loved helping anyone and everyone out, whether it was with a plate of her food, advice or guidance. She wanted the best for everyone. I know she would have wanted all of you to take away from her passing to be safe and stay at home until this virus is under control. Henrietta would also have wanted you to always love each other, but love yourself first and be yourself proudly. RIP Henrietta. I will always love you and your place at the bar will always be there. Sending everyone lots of love and good energy. Xoxo. DJ: Henrietta loved to check up on me. I must admit I will truly miss the call I received once a week when Henrietta called just to say hello. MT: Henrietta touched my heartstrings even deeper than her coming over to my place to cook, bringing us delicious desserts and dishes. It was when my 21-year-old nephew Andrew came from California to stay with me in 2010. He and Henrietta had this incredible instant connection/bond when they met at TWIST, and they would go out to different places like Palace, Score and, of course, TWIST. Andrew would go get Henrietta and take her to whatever bar she was in the mood for that day, and they would have fun. My nephew even convinced her to go to Wet Willie‘s, of all places, and that’s when Henrietta back in the day would drink her rum and Coke with lemon. Andrew always had a blast with her and he would say “OMG uncle Mario, Henrietta is too funny,” with her quick and amazing stories. As you all know, she had great stories to tell. So for all of her great qualities and attributes, her taking my nephew under her wing and vice versa, I will always love her mostly for that!

I also want to share some excerpts from the Wire Magazine interview of Henrietta by Thomas Barker from June 2011, when Henrietta was celebrating her 50 year anniversary in South Beach. Visit wiremag.com to read the extended version of Henrietta’s In Memoriam and the full interview from 2011.

At age 19 Henrietta saw her first drag show. At age 22, she dressed up as a woman for the very first time (other than when she was 10 or 11 and dressed up in her sisters' clothes). She won Miss Florida in 1969 singing, not lip-synching, "On a Clear Day You Can See Forever." Then, after her favorite uncle died in the early '80s, she never wore men's clothes again! Her outfit became permanent.

"When my uncle passed away, that's when I said that's it," Henrietta recounted. "I started living that way from then on – it was permanent drag from then on! I was gay, of course, and wasn't ever interested in a sex change or anything." And nothing Henrietta wears when she dresses like a woman is fake. Her chinchilla outfit, lace or silk gowns, large-carat diamond rings, gold bracelets – they're all real, just as real as Henrietta.

Thomas Barker: When and how did you arrive in Miami Beach, Henrietta? Henrietta Robinson: I came to Miami Beach in 1958. My uncle, my mother's brother, had a restaurant here. I was 18-years-old and never was on my own in my life until then. I lived a pretty sheltered life in Boston. My mother died when I was born. I was raised by my grandmother, my father's mother. I couldn't go out and play with other kids and was kept in the house all the time.

TB: How old were you back then? Did you realize you were gay at an early age? HR: Oh, I was 10 or 11-years-old. I knew I was gay since I loved playing with my sisters' dolls! I loved dressing up. When my sisters dressed me up, my grandmother would go through the roof! My sisters were a lot older, they were 18 and 20-years-old. I was the baby in the family.

TB: Did you ever imagine the Beach would come full circle to where it is today? HR: I never thought in my time the gay community would be so free to be who they are and not be hassled by the police. In my day, if you walked down the street and if the police thought you were gay, they had the right to beat you up. They always said you looked at them the wrong way or you touched them. They had no hesitation in throwing you in jail. Now, I love it! Gay life has always flourished here – whether it was underground or above ground; or whether it was 23rd Street or 12th Street. Gays were everywhere and in every profession. Today, I feel so free and it's such a pleasure! A lot of these young gay kids don't know what somebody like me has gone through. And they don't have too many people to learn about the history since all the old-timers are gone.

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Digital Issue 2.2020

#wire magazine #wiremag.com #wire #miami #miami beach #south beach #sobe #fort lauderdale #wynwood #wilton manors #gay #lgbt #glbt #henrietta robinson #in memoriam

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djgwritings · 4 years

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(A Serious Man - Joel & Ethan Coen, 2009)

Seeing Spots

Trying to find parking last night (even with a free garage pass now per membership) emitted a near-epic meltdown and story. I did well spinning Wilco Schmilco tunes at the start. Perfect "windows down" weather music if there ever was. I had excitement mixed with additive anxiety called "going out." Wicked dichotomy cocktail at work. And I was solo. So, that had me feeling funny. I mostly don't mind being alone.

I went my normal route and everything was good for a few a couple minutes. Then, I went to turn left out of our neighborhood (on a main thoroughfare), an easy left at a well known light for years now ... but, the street was blocked with construction orange and heavy machinery. Huge signs said, “NO LEFT.” What? There had always been a left here prior. I panicked and went straight. Scared straight! Even though going straight took me away from the direction I needed and there were no lefts (dead ends per residential streets) for many, many blocks. And I knew this the moment I took it. However, going right would have had me backtracking and circling the wagons. Clock was ticking, along with my heart, and I was already a tad late. So, I did a suspicious "turn-around" below the belt of a fancy-pants street (where I assume they call the authorities on guys who don't look their part - guys like me performing a “turn-around”) and backtracked to square one of the construction intersection. I had no clue what they were doing, but the street was gutted and made a car feel guilty to navigate. Always something. Thankfully, I could take a wonky right around all the construction machinery, cones and barriers. OK. Back at it. Minor set-back and breezy tunes back on.

I got half a mile down the road and traffic was bonkers, to say the least. The car in front of me was going slow, like 15 under the speed limit slow, and doing that "Should I turn? Should I not turn?" thing folks are real into of late per following digitized commands and screen coordinates. Everyone else was speeding around us at 15 miles (and some) over the limit, and I couldn't get an opening to do the same. I'm not a flashy driver, so I just stayed behind as I have a distaste for lane juggling and I didn't have too far to go. I'm a stay-put journeyman at best. It turned out a much slower car was in front of the slow car in front of me. That makes three of us. Another half mile and there is a stop light coming up that I knew to anticipate. However, the slow car I'm behind (not tailgating by any means) slams on its brakes far sooner than it should have. The slow car that was in front of it had turned off and there were now no cars leading the slow pack to warrant such a panic-brake. It was weird and a mega-hard slam too, like, "About to hit a car!" kind of slam. I've seen this before and applied a mega-hard slam in response or I'd, "About to hit a car!" Phew. I was inches from them. What the heck? I looked in the mirror to find a giant truck is inches behind me, and so on ... a vehicular centipede. I did not hear any crunches, just my teeth chattering.

Come to find out, apparently, a carload of kids was taking a ridiculous Harry Houdini left out of a bank onto the packed four lanes of traffic. There was no way I could even see them until they came around the other lane of vehicles, all giant trucks and SUVs, etc. Either someone allowed the kids to inch out and/or they all also had to mega-hard slam brakes in alarm of the kids pulling out into full-on traffic. I'm guessing they got an "in" from the other lane, but didn't think to consult the second lane (mine), not to mention the other direction of traffic.The kids barely made it through and were grinning like, "Holy heck! We almost wrecked! Grab yer goods and hit the deck!" Stupid kids. Stupid adults. Stupid cars. We're all so stupid. Having just got back from New York City, I stare down-blared my tiny horn as they smiled past me and let 'em have what for. Naturally, the slow car that was in front of me thought I was doing this to them. Oops. Sorry, guy! They appeared frazzled and quickly made a left turn themselves. OK, then. Good! Got 'em out of the way and regrouped at the stop light.

The road I was on dumps into another road that either dumps into a big and busy area or goes around to my destination. It's always tricky and pre-meditation lane choosing is a must if you know it well. Especially since you seem to be dumped into a NASCAR race track. I hate it, but it's the best route from my house. However, the traffic hiccups prior didn't have my brain and bearings aligned. I was in the wrong lane. So, I played Frogger: Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Edition and got where I needed to be. Or, so I thought. I got to another light and panicked. I needed over in the next lane now in order to turn left another block down on the correct street. And there was a lot of traffic. Always. Like I said, I have free garage parking, but prefer street parking if I happen to see it. Nothing beats ol' reliable and I'm not a fan of getting into tight garages with one way in and one way out. But, I couldn't get over as traffic was sledge hammering. I saw a giant pack of bicyclists, like 50 of 'em (that would make a giant enough pack, right?), looking to head down the very street I hoped to maybe park on. I was like, "Okay. So glad I missed that! Maybe this lane mess-up is in my favor?" I also realized when reading the event invite they said there would be overflow parking, as well as shuttle service, from another venue nearby. This is several blocks away, but the altered route I was taking just might work. A fail-safe, then.

After waiting forever to, uh, take a left. I inched toward the aforementioned overflow parking. However, I noticed there were only a handful of cars, so I assumed that meant it wasn't quite overflow time just yet. I also figured it would be either a long wait for a shuttle or a long walk. At this point walking sounded incredible. Still, the clock was ticking and I gambled to find a spot near the event. Though, passing further by the overflow entrance I soon noticed a shuttle idling, just waiting for crickets. I could have easily parked right by it, hopped on and been taken to the back door of the event, on time, in minutes! Ah well. For now, I'd just have to take a left at the end of the street, drive in front of the event space, then take a right to potentially find street parking.

Well, uh, that's a nope. There was zilch lefts on this busy street where huge signs aggressively blurt, "Buses ONLY." I always forget the situation at this intersection. What in the world? So, I grumbled and went straight and decided to just go the back way around the event space. Which, would completely cancel any street parking tries as I'd be approaching it all backwards. Therefore, I'd have to gamble with the parking garage now, surely packed by this point. Further assessment of this thought had me finding a way to U-Turn, something I never do, near the event space's delivery entrance. I went for it and survived. I was now realigned to follow through with trying to procure street parking. I drove by a giant face in front of the space, heading towards a (hopeful) safe right turn slide into home. Another NOPE! Now, the giant pack of 50 bicyclists I'd seen minutes earlier were herding through the intersection. Had I been 10 seconds sooner I would have been ahead of them. I turned after the last bicycle, the real slowpoke of the pack. It was annoying being stuck behind them, but a bit in my advantage as I was okay to go slow and be granted keener senses to spot potential street parking. However, going slow from the get-go ensured I'd have a slow chain of irritated cars behind me. I quickly spied ahead through bicycles a couple spots I knew I could fit in and patiently gripped the wheel with cars chomping bumper behind me.

Oh, but wait. A serious outfitted bicyclist SPOKEsperson urgently-aggressively waved me to go around them. What!? Nooo! I wanted to park. Just move and I'll pull in a little ways ahead. I can wait! He kept waving and seemed agitated at my apparent lack of respect for his two-wheeled kind. I was all, "I just want to park and attend this thing I've been trying to get to!" Also, going around this herd of 50 bicycles would have me driving in the other lane. This lane was receiving cars opposite. Like the non-confrontational and compliant person I am, I soon found an opening and drove around the bulk of the bicycles. However, per my go-around lane opening quickly closing, cars the other direction flowed towards me and I didn't know what to do. I hate stuff like this - the stuff of quick driving decisions. I panicked and got back over, now in-between the herd of super slow bicycles! I was puttering along to not mow them down, staring at their spandex and bottle squirts. There were no longer any open street spots now as they had been passed up, too small or a fire hydrant. To the garage gamble it was now. I finally got another opening and drove around the slow bicycle gang, nearly plowing into smiling event-attending folks crossing the road who had found a spot elsewhere to park. And I could tell the bicyclists wanted to tread on me.

I pulled into the garage, praying to the giant face for a spot. Anything? The gate was up, so a good sign in my favor. Then, an attendant waved me to the right with bright-flashy things in a "follow the cones to parking" motion. I waved back and grinned. However, there was no parking actually open. I cursed. I rarely curse. Cars will do that to a supposed good boy. I could also see many cars that had entered before me creeping around like vultures for open spots. I exclaimed to the dash, "Where to now?!" Then, unbeknownst to my prior ten years of remodeled garage knowledge, at the end of a last-ditch effort looking a full row over, I discovered a second underground parking level entrance! (not even my wife knew about this) Better yet, I had beat the other cars to it! I creeped down the ramp only to, uh, find more car vultures and a lot of parked cars! Instead of following the leader of cars without a space, I somehow got smart and skirted an outside open lane. It also gave me a better parking lot perspective. Man, like a Thanksgiving afternoon it was beyond full. Though, I surprisingly spied a spot on the next row over ... how had it been overlooked!? Paydirt! Pavementdirt! Though, I noticed other vultures going towards it. I even noticed some that had passed it. Hmmm. Okay? Maybe they didn't see it?

After I rev'd around into the next aisle of cars to pounce the open spot, and with several more sets of headlights coming towards me (others who had discovered the second level) and making telepathic/pathetic motions to the on-coming cars that I HAD SEEN IT FIRST, I noticed a car next to the only open spot had a wheel a good two feet into the supposedly empty spot. There was no room for another car. I was so mad, shaking my head and hands. I never get this mad. Come on! Something that irks me majorly is terrible parking. I'm not grate at much in this life, but will park the most perfect I can in an empty lot. An on-coming car of elders looked at me, pointed at the spot, and shook heads too. Haha! This bought me a bit of time. I did a shrug and floored it. I passed several more cars and got back to the exit of the underground. I was ready to just leave and park blocks away and walk it in, all panting and sweaty on this unseasonably warm fall evening. However, more cars kept descending into the underground and I could not get out! I could not leave. There was nowhere but runaround for all these cars. Who's going to tell the guy with the bright-flashy things? Would it be me? That's if I could ever escape. There were too many cars coming in for me to exit out, so I panicked again, I floored it again, and drove to the outside aisle I initially started at to regroup. I noticed there was a pile-up near the lop-sided parking spot. Weird. Was someone really trying to park there? There was seriously no room for my slim Honda Fit (not living up to its name in this situation), and all the cars I'd seen were tanks. But, there was one hopeful elder tank trying to back into the spot. They kept trying and readjusting. Ha! Go for it! I didn't wait to see the results, rather I realized all the cars that had just come down had played follow the leader and were jammed behind the old man trying to get into the spot that was not a spot.

I squealed tires, passing yet another gaze of the giant face at the bottom level entrance. Don't fail me now! I passed every aisle, staring them down into an abyss of cars upon cars and watched vulture cars slowly shrugging along waiting to pounce. I made it to the far opposite end aisle of the garage, passed more full spots and gaggles of elders shuffling excitedly - they had somehow just found parking spots - nearly plowing them down as they would not get out of the middle of the aisle. I then passed event official space vehicles and golf carts. We were getting near the end of civilization. I thought I had a spot, but it was not. In its place was a weird, tiny service machine that could not be seen until nearly pulling in. But, then ... THEN, I whipped around the end of the aisle to the start of the next. There was an unusual service elevator to my right. And right in front of it was a spot. It was shining. I looked it over intently. There was no sign. There were no markings to keep me from parking. There were no small service vehicles crouching in its corner. To the left of the spot was an obvious no parking area of huge yellow diagonals. But, the spot itself was spotless! I pulled in. I sighed. I got out and further inspected the spot. I even bent down and looked under my car just in case the pavement beneath was marked in a kind of camo paint to trick me. It was not. had found a spot! And it was seriously the last spot! I guess it had been overlooked per positioned directly in front of an elevator door.

I walked all the way down the aisle to the other end. I was almost at the door, as well as staring into giant eyes of the giant face again, and it me like it always does, "Shoot! Did I turn my lights off? I better walk back and check my lights. Pretty sure I got them. But, after all that I just want to play it safe." I walked back and it was good. I then triple checked my spot just to be clear it was valid. It still appeared so. More cars were driving around looking for spots and they thought I was going to my car to leave. Haha! Not a chance!

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