#i think AL thought her 'my love' in the birthday post would sell their relationship

[ingravinoveritas]

Not the first thing I'm thinking when Georgia has the pride flag in her vday post (bless her) being "ah, Michael :)"

(I love David's cards every year, they're so cute?)

Hi, Anons! (Grouping all these together since they're related.)

I did indeed see Georgia's Valentine's day post, and thought it was quite interesting. (It's here, for those who haven't seen it yet.) And let's get a few visuals up so we can discuss:

My first thought was that this appears to be Georgia's card to David, rather than David's card to her (which I think is what you were thinking it was, Anon #1). But we can see him holding it, and also the message on it seems more like Georgia's style than his (to me, at least). Interesting, though, that she shared both their cards last year, but only the one this time around.

I also found it curious that Georgia put the pride flag in her post, especially without any context. I know that it certainly could be because of the volatile atmosphere around gay/trans rights in the UK (particularly the horrific murder of Brianna Ghey), but Georgia posted a picture of Brianna in her Insta story yesterday, so I'm not sure the pride flag was related to that. It could also be a sign of support for Wilf...but I can't help thinking that it's somehow for David, too. Even if it's not said aloud, or specifically named, it's just...there, you know?

So I totally get you thinking of Michael, because that crossed my mind, too. I could so easily see Michael and David wishing each other a Happy Valentine's Day, and getting each other sweet little gifts. Nothing flashy or expensive, and certainly nothing "traditional" (flowers, chocolates, etc.), but something that is meaningful to them specifically. Like David getting Michael an autographed copy of his favorite Stephen King novel, or Michael getting David a pair of rainbow cufflinks or a childhood toy he'd always wanted but would never buy for himself.

(I could also see David giving Michael one of these cards:

...Or heck, either of them giving the other any one of several of these hilarious and cute Valentine's cards for same-sex couples.)

But yes...like you, Anon #2, I did notice the lack of a post from AL, and I also found it telling. It was pointed out to me by @invisibleicewands earlier that several folks spotted Michael in Cardiff today, so it does make one wonder whether he and AL were even together for V-Day. Whatever the case may be, to your point, Anon #3, I'm actually glad AL didn't comment on Georgia's post, because I'd rather no comment than some insincere, PR-laced sentiment that continues pushing the disingenuous "AL and Georgia are BFFs" narrative.

I do think AL has very much been trying to model herself after Georgia and her and Michael's relationship after GT and DT's for the last few years, but with limited (if any) success, especially given how much more attention Georgia's "other wife" posts have gotten than anything AL has ever posted. So it would not surprise me if AL was slightly jealous of or annoyed by Georgia's post (or more precisely by the fact that she had nothing to post next to it).

As for Michael dressing more like David, I assume you're referring to the ridiculous shirt Michael wore on Australian TV in December, but I'm not so sure I agree. Michael used to dress much more flamboyantly than he does now (top hats, onesies, and blue fur-lined paisley ponchos all come to mind), so if anything, I'd say Michael wearing that shirt was him dressing more like himself, rather than David. (I could definitely see David stealing that shirt from him, though.)

So, those are my thoughts on this year's Valentine's Day content. Thanks for writing in, Anons, and Happy V-Day to you all! 💗

#anonymous #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #relationships #i think AL thought her 'my love' in the birthday post would sell their relationship #but now we have this lovey picture of DT and GT #again see re: massive contrast with georgia tennant #also a sharp contrast to michael and how he constantly gushes over david #curiouser and curiouser #valentine's day #ineffable lovers #discourse

[olicitytropes]

Olicity Tropetastic Awards: Season Three

The season of angst, assassins, and al sah-hottie is one we’ll always hold close to our Olicity-loving hearts. From their first date, to their first kiss, to their first time together, season 3 really gave us everything...including(arguably) the best hiatus fanfiction we’ve ever had.

Don’t ask Oliver to say he doesn’t love Felicity. And don’t ask us to say we didn’t love these fics. 

@tangled23works’s recs:

Memory Lane - @lupin72

Oliver and Felicity spend a night at a karaoke bar with Oliver telling Felicity how he knows for a fact that she can sing. Felicity realizes that she really doesn't remember Thea's birthday 

**Award: Best Karaoke+Fluff I’ve Ever Read**

Devil’s Backbone - @anthfan

What happens if Oliver and Felicity begin a physical relationship brought on by the catalyst of Sara's death, but acted like nothing had changed between them. One chapter per episode.

**Award: Best Canon Divergence/Fic You Need To Read ASAP**

The End of the Beginning - MachaSWicket

Tomorrow – and her stomach jumps a little every time she lets herself think about it – tomorrow, she and Oliver are leaving on some grand tour of the U.S. (And each other.) But first: sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. At least that’s the plan. To say she wasn’t expecting a knock at her door is putting it mildly. Because Oliver left her outside Palmer Tech with a sweet, lingering kiss, and he’d looked at least as tired as she felt.

**Award: Cutest, Most Realistic Olicity The Night Before They Ride Off Into The Sunset**

Only you can set my heart on my fire -  inlovewithimpossibility

He can’t help but smirk at her tone of voice. His main focus over the past two months has been memorizing every element of the woman underneath him. He’s tuned himself into her frequency, storing the cause and meaning of every type of hitched breath, moan and tone of voice. This soft, distracted murmur is rare but one of Oliver’s favorites.

(A small NSFW fic set in Bali during Olicity's post-s3 roadtrip)

**Award: Most Gratifying Olicity-In-Bali Fic**

@blondeeoneexox’s recs:

Caught in the Rapture - @bindy417

AU. Being the daughter of a ruthless and notorious crime lord, Felicity Smoak didn't think her life could get any worse. When her father unexpectedly sells her in marriage as a peace offering to his enemy, she quickly learns it'll take more than just her sharp intellect to survive. But what starts out as a sentence worse than death may actually be her only shot at freedom.

**Award: Most Beautiful Olicity Growth**

The Firebird - @supersillyanddorky06

Felicity Smoak stumbles upon a man dressed in black about to kill someone. The man takes an interest in her and she does not realize who he is. He is Al Sah-Him, the best assassin in The League, the crown jewel of the brotherhood, who is known for his lethal focus and killer instincts, brought up in the League itself.

What happens when he is taken completely with the blonde?

Assassin AU. Basically a what if Felicity met Al Sah-Him and not Oliver Queen story. Stuff will happen. Enjoy!

**Award: Most Amazing Felicity and Al-Sah-Him Non-Canon That I Really Wish Was Canon Because It Would Have Been SO REWARDING Fic**

P.S. Hong Kong: Was it Real?!? - @cruzrogue 

(This is off season 3 Flashbacks. When Tommy goes to Hong Kong he doesn’t go alone he takes his friend Felicity as the best information system being to help him locate Oliver Queen. Tommy may leave empty handed but Felicity gets to be a bride…)

Trope-tastic Awards: Week One

Fake Marriage!

(Olicity fake marriage stories! Pretending to be married, accidentally married, drunkenly married in Vegas and they don’t remember any of it)

**Award: Cutest Fake Marriage S3 Fic**

@allimariexf’s recs:

Once More (From the Top) - @writewithurheart

In the aftermath of his fight with Ras Al Ghul, Oliver finds himself somewhere unexpected: his hospital room when he first came back from the Island.

With a second chance to right the mistakes he’s made since coming back to Starling City, what will Oliver do to save the people he’s loved and lost?

Will he be able to change his past or will be he forced to watch history repeat itself?

**Award: Most Intriguingly Brilliant, Heartwarmingly Beautiful, Why-Can’t-This-Be-Canon Time Travel Trope**

We Should Just Kiss (Like Real People Do) - @dust2dust34

Prompt-inspired ficlets covering Oliver and Felicity's road trip after 3x23 "My Name is Oliver Queen."

Covers everything from the fluffiest fluff to silliness to gratuitous smut to ridiculous happiness to some angst.

**Award: Hottest Exploration of the Sweet, Smutty, Quiet, Happy! Domestic! Olicity Moments From the Summer of Olicity that we Deserved But Never Got**  

Long Time Coming - MachaSWicket

Felicity’s pretty proud of them both, that they follow up their frantic, almost-had-(probably-amazing)-sex-in-the-lair lapse in control with an actual, grown up, adult conversation in which they agree to keep their hands to themselves until they go on a couple of real, official dates. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. They agree that kissing is okay. And some, you know, associated behaviors. Because kissing involves touching and hugging and maybe occasionally some delightful friction. So that kind of… grinding is also acceptable. But they’re not going to have sex before their first date. Probably. Or how Oliver and Felicity turned all that blistering UST to RST. Finally. Spoilers through S3, including “The Climb.”

**Award: Sweetest, Most Emotionally-Fulfilling Use of Delayed Gratification (not to mention hottest)** 

@smoaking-greenarrow’s recs:

Confidence - itwasred

Olicity on their road trip after the season 3 finale, discovering each other. Felicity has some confidence issues that Oliver is quick to get her over.

**Award: Best Oliver Making Sure Felicity Knows How He Has Always Felt About Her**

Pacific Crest Trials - @imusuallyobsessed

After they drive off into the sunset and leave Starling City behind, Felicity and Oliver decide to go hiking on the Pacific Crest Trail. Felicity soon realizes that her vision and the reality don't match up, and Oliver does his best to convince her that backpacking isn't all that bad. Part of the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon, prompt: summer vacation.

**Award: Cutest Protective Oliver**

This One Time in College -  Vixx2pointOh

After we saw them drive off into the sunset, we know the travelled around the world....

In Thailand Felicity got drunk and started talking.....drunk Felicity shouldn't be in charge of talking....

**Award: Most Hilariously Drunk Felicity**

Daughter of the Demon - @laxit21,  mewmew666

What if in 1988 while traveling through Las Vegas Ra's al Ghul bumps into a nice waitress named Donna Smoak and they have one-night stand together? A little bundle of joy named Felicity Smoak is the result. In 2014, the Demon Head becomes aware of his youngest daughter's existence.

**Award: Most Unique Twist in Canon**

@memcjo’s recs:

Bury me in your Sins - @theirinrutherfords

Don’t involve yourself in the league of assassins and don’t fuck with the league of assassins. It’s a pretty easy concept, right? Well, it would have been if Felicity had known what she was meddling with. Now she has one of the league’s best assassins knocking down her door.

**Award: Best Use of Felicity Being in Over Her Head But Coming Out on Top**

Come Back When You Can - @smoaking-greenarrow

Felicity Smoak had accepted that her husband is dead. She's done everything she could to hold her family, her team, her city, and herself together. But five years after losing her husband, Felicity learns that things didn't happen the way she thought they did. And when Oliver realizes that he was lied to, he's willing to do whatever it takes to get revenge on the people who took his life away.

**Award: Best Use of Angst/Sorrow/Revenge Leading to a Happy Olicity**

Into Thin Air - @realityisoverrated-fic

Tommy disappears on his morning run. Two weeks later, Felicity is taken from the Foundry. Oliver is willing to sacrifice everything to get them back.

**Award: Best Use of Stubborn SmoakingBillionaries Facing Extreme Danger to Save Each Other in a HOLY SHIT~WOW! fic**

Try Harder Next Time - @hope-for-olicity

Set in Season 3 (I heart Season 3), Diggle confronts Oliver about letting Felicity go - yes, I can write the same story a different way over and over and over ;) This was Hope-for-Olicity’s 100th story as well!

**Award: Best Use of Diggle Sees ALL and is Tired of Oliver’s Shit**

A Nice Day for a Light Wedding -  sarcasticmama

A one shot based on leaked finale spoilers for Season 3 of the Arrow. Olicity! Written in between feedings with no beta. All mistakes are mine.

**Award: Best Happily Ever After Olicity Fluff**

Unasked Questions - @laurabelle2930

Olicity Smut ;) This one takes place during 3x20. It’s my take on what happened before we see Oliver staring out over the moon lit sands of Nanda Parbat. 

**Award: Best Use of Sexy, Bittersweet Olicity**

@msbeccieboo’s recs:

His Felicity, His Happiness - @oliversmuse

She just wanted to have a night off. A night where she could forget the trauma she had been through three months ago. But that night, everything changed. He saved her then kidnapped her. He was a mystery to her and she hated mysteries. They needed to be solved. She was determined to find out who was Al-Sah-Him.

**Award: Best disposal of Evil!Ray**

Adventures in Ivy Town - @it-was-a-red-heeler

Oliver and Felicity learn that there can be danger in the burbs, too.

**Award: Cutest Ivy Town fluffiness!!**

#Arrow #Olicity #olicity tropetastic awards #season 3 trope #season 3 rec list #Olicity fanfiction #Oliver Queen #Felicity Smoak #Olicity fic

[winryofresembool]

Love Can Melt the Ice, ch 21

Summary: the party goes on.

A/N: sorry guys, I’m too tired to think of anything to say. Just that I hope you guys enjoy, and note, that there’s a little bit of steaminess (not quite M-rated tho imo) towards the end of this chapter so keep that in mind when readng this. Reviews are loved!!! And thanks to every single person who has commented the previous chapters, you guys rule ♥

Previous chapters:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 pt 1, pt 2, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

Next chapter: coming

Companion pieces (note: these are all post Olympics happenings so reading the main fic first is recommended): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Words: 3200+

Genre: cotton candy mostly

“There she finally comes!” Paninya exclaimed when she saw Winry approaching her figure skating team in the otherwise quiet restaurant. “What took you so long? Oh!” She finally noticed Ed hopping towards them behind Winry, and a giant grin spread on her lips. “I wasn’t expecting you to have company!”

“Smirk what you want, Pan. I don’t care anymore. As a matter of fact, we have some news for you…” Winry fumbled with her hair nervously, as she was trying to figure out how to tell Paninya about the changed relationship status.

“Are you pregnant too?” Paninya asked her, eyeing Ed suspiciously. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you guys alone after the birthday party…”

“What, NO!” Winry panicked, worried how Ed would react to such implications. Even though Pan’s comment was just a joke, Ed had barely started to open up to her… Winry didn’t even want to think how he would feel about having kids. “We haven’t even… I mean, that’s a 0 per cent possibility… And don’t you think it’s a bit too early for that kind of announcements anyway?”

“I just wanted to see your reaction,” Paninya laughed. “Don’t mind me, I was just messing with you.”

“Oh, OK. So, the news is that… we…” She linked her arm with Ed’s. “… Have decided to become… exclusive?”

“And that’s what you were so nervous to announce?” Paninya looked annoyed. “I would have expected you to at least have gotten married secretly based on your expressions.” Her frown changed into a smile soon. “But that’s awesome! I knew it would happen sooner rather than later! In fact, Rosé, I think I won our bet.” She winked at her girlfriend smugly.

“Bet, what bet? Rosé, don’t tell me Pan made you make a bet on my relationship progression.” Any of Winry’s nervousness flew away as (faked) anger took over. “I can expect that from you…” Winry glared at Paninya, “… But Rosé, you have always been the nice one.”

“I’m sorry, she made me!”

“Don’t worry. I just had to make you taste your own medicine,” Winry laughed. “Anyway, thanks for coming! It’s good to see you all here. I guess… let’s get this party started!

 …

 “Hey Winry, why is your boyfriend moping at your party?” Paninya asked as Winry joined her at the bar to get a drink. She wasn’t wrong, he was scowling at his phone in an empty corner of the restaurant and mumbling something incoherent to himself.

“He just remembered that his team is playing right now.” Winry sighed. “They are probably angry at him for not showing up, but more importantly, the game is almost over now, and they are losing by several goals so… it’s not looking too good.”

“You gotta give him something else to think about.” Paninya winked and made kissy lips to give Winry a hint.

“I’m not gonna make out with him in front of all these people!” Winry growled. “Public display of affection isn’t our thing.”

“Whatever. Just do whatever you do to wrap him around your arm. Take him to dance or something.”

“He can’t dance! He has a broken leg in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Just sway in the same spot or something.” Paninya suggested.

“I’ll just go talk to him,” Winry decided when she saw he wasn’t far from throwing his phone out of the window.

…

“Damnit!” Ed cursed loudly when Winry arrived next to him. She didn’t even bother asking what had happened in the game; it was unnecessary.

“I’m sorry, Ed. I’m not gonna say ‘better luck next time’ because that won’t help anything, but maybe you’d like to do something to take your thoughts away from that game. It’s my party, after all.”

“What do you have in mind?” Ed eyed her suspiciously. “I’m not gonna sing karaoke if that’s what you want to do. I’m not drunk enough.”

Winry put her arm around his shoulder and said: “No, you don’t have to sing, but I do want to dance. And I want to dance with you.”

“You have gone nuts, woman. How do you think I’m gonna dance with this leg?” he pointed at his cast.

“Just follow me. Or do you want me to call Al to dance with me instead?” Winry asked slyly. “Or, I suppose, there are other options in this restaurant too…”

“Let’s just go then!” Ed said all too fast and started hopping towards the dance floor.

When the couple found their spot, a few other dancers were eyeing Ed’s crutches suspiciously, but he decided to ignore it. “So… how are we gonna do this?”

“I think… if you can stand with just one crutch, you could use your hand to twirl me, and I’ll do the rest,” Winry suggested.

“Sounds doable,” Ed noted and left his right crutch against the wall. Winry took his metal hand (that was covered with the usual white glove) into hers and started doing her dance moves. The song was fast, so she was able to show her jiving skills well.

“I knew you could skate but I didn’t know you can dance too!” Ed commented at some point.

“A lot of figure skaters take also dancing classes because it certainly helps with the balance and everything.” Winry reminded him.

“Right. That makes sense,” Ed admitted.

The longer the song continued, the more he lightened up too, finishing the dance by pulling Winry close to him and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“You were right, it was kinda fun! Maybe one day we can dance for real.”

“Is that a promise?” Winry asked. “Because if it is, I will remember it, I swear.”

“Maybe it is.” Ed grinned and turned to pick up his crutch.

…

A few hours later, Winry was looking for Ed who had disappeared while she had gone to the restroom, and finally found him on the balcony.

“There you are! I was a bit worried you might have left,” Winry said.

“Oh. I just needed a little break to hear my thoughts. It’s been quite a day, don’t you think?” Ed asked.

“It has… As amazing it has been, I am quite eager to get into my own bed soon.” Ed gave Winry a puppy dog expression. “We’ll see if someone gets to join me. Maybe if you are extra nice to me. Anyway, Gracia already left, Garfiel is hitting on someone, and Rosé and Paninya’s dancing is looking like they don’t really need our company… so I’d say we’re free to go.”

“Sounds good to me. By the way, Al sends his congrats,” Ed remembered. “He’s with Mei now but said he’d catch up with us tomorrow.”

“Oh! How is it going between those two?”

“The last time I saw them together, they were chatting pretty eagerly about who knows what, so I’d say it’s going pretty well. Too bad she lives in Xing, though. What if they get together, and he decides to move there?”

“I think you are getting a bit ahead of yourself again,” Winry noted. “They just met. But what about us? It’s like you said, we live pretty far from each other and travel a lot… Should we try to come up with a schedule for our meetings?”

“Until my leg is healed, you don’t have to worry about me traveling…” Ed sighed. “I will have plenty of free time. I think I might still spend a little while in Resembool because I’m not super eager to do household work with this leg.”

“I’ll visit you there when I have my next free weekend! Hey… does this situation remind you of your party?” Winry realized.

“I guess it does,” Ed agreed. “A lot has happened after that, though… Even though it has only been a few days.”

“Sometimes… things… happen fast. You don’t regret it, do you?” Winry asked, slight hint of worry in her voice.

“No.” Ed shook his head. “I thought this was going to be difficult, but now that it’s actually happening… I realized it’s really quite simple. I want to spend more time with you. I just… needed to deal with some things first.”

“I understand. And hey, I’ll be here the whole time if you still need help with that,” Winry promised, and it was her turn to kiss Ed on the cheek. “Hey, what’s that?”

Ed was holding a small box in his hand and Winry casted a curious look at it. If it had been anyone else giving her that box, she might have been more nervous about what was in it, but she knew Ed wouldn’t ask her so soon… Right?

“Um… this is just a championship gift for you…” Ed said, and Winry immediately relaxed. “I was going to give it to you no matter what result, but it turned out going pretty well, don’t you think?”

“Heh, I guess so.” Winry unwrapped the paper around the box carefully and admired its black surface for a moment before opening it. “Ed, these are so pretty!”

What she saw in the box were earrings, with tiny golden skates hanging from them. She took them in her hand to get a better look at them.

“I just… well, I asked Riza if she knew what would make you happy, and she said you like earrings. So. I went to the shop where they sell these and… thought the skates were pretty fitting… in many ways… since you know, skating was what united us in the first place… and… gold to match your medal…”

“Awww. That is so sweet.” She quickly wiped the corners of her eyes dry and turned Ed’s head to face her. “Seriously, I love them. Thank you.” Then she leaned in to press a light kiss on his mouth. They let the kiss linger for a few moments before Winry pulled away and run her hand on Ed’s automail arm briefly.

“Hey, guess what… I kinda have a gift for you too. It’s in my room, though, so should we take a cab and leave?”

“It’s like you said, I don’t think anyone would miss us… so sure!” Ed gave Winry his familiar shit eating grin, taking his crutches from the bench next to him and jumping up rather eagerly.

…

The couple waved their goodbyes to those of their friends who were still left at the club and took the first cab to the hotel (this time they were farther from the hotel than during Ed’s birthday so Winry didn’t want to make Ed walk all that way). For some reason, Ed hesitated a bit before stepping inside Winry’s room, though.

“What’s wrong?” Winry folded her arms over her chest and stared at Ed questioningly.

“It’s just… We are a… couple… now… so I hope you’re not expecting…”

“Expecting what?” Winry tilted her head slightly as she tried to understand what Ed was saying. “Oh!” she finally realized, her face turning red. “Nonono, I wasn’t thinking about that… Not that I wouldn’t like… eventually… but we can take our time… No, there’s something I want to show you…”

With Winry’s rambling, the nervousness that had taken over Ed’s body finally left him, and he started laughing so hard he doubled over.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, slightly hurt because she didn’t understand what was in Ed’s mind in that moment. Was he laughing at her?

“It’s just…” he guffawed, “… The tables have turned… Remember what happened the last time we spent a night together? You thought I was expecting us to…”

“Oh!” Winry finally understood. “Well, I wasn’t expecting anything, so you can stop laughing and come here.” Her voice had a bit of sharpness in it as she continued: “I have some drawings I want to show you.”

“Sorry.” Ed finally calmed down. “Show them.”

He hopped towards the table on which Winry had spread her papers and squinted as he was trying figure out what was in her drawings. “Wait a second… Is this an automail arm?”

“I noticed your arm was creaking a bit, so I designed this… What do you think? We would of course need to measure your arm before I can draw the final version, but… I’d love to do it if you let me?”

“Have you built automails before?” Ed asked, even though he believed he knew the answer. She had drawn that picture complete from the scratch, after all.

“I have, plenty! Although…” she blushed a bit as she continued: “this would be the first one that would be in use…”

“Well, it looks amazing, so… why the hell not? Truth to be told, I don’t really like my current mechanic so it would be a win-win situation in many ways.”

“It’s settled, then!” Winry clapped her hands excitedly. “You, me and an automail date once this season is over and I have more time to focus on mechanics. Although… I would like to get some measures sooner because that way I’ll have more time to prepare for it.” She pulled out the tape measure from her bag and looked at him expectantly. “Would you mind?”

“Of-of course not…” Ed said, although a bit hesitantly because Winry seemed to have turned her geek mode on. “What do you need me to do?”

“Uhh… You would probably need to take your shirt off because I need to be able to see where the shoulder piece starts and stuff…” She was blushing again. Ed threw his coat and suit on a nearby chair and sat down on the bed, unbuttoning his dress shirt slowly. He turned to look at Winry as he felt her gaze on him.

“Enjoying the view?” Ed cocked his eyebrow when their eyes met.

“You are suddenly awfully smug for someone who just freaked out about coming into my room.” Winry retorted, although her cheeks were still burning.

“I just like to make you as flustered as you make me…”

An awkward silence fell between them, but finally Ed added: “OK, here’s the thing: I do want to… do it with you… eventually, like you said… but with this cast… there’s a lot I won’t be able to do, and… I think you deserve better than that… so… I’d rather wait… until I feel 100 per cent fine…”

“I didn’t think you’d be worried about that… I’m sorry. That’s… that’s so nicely said, and I… shouldn’t have mocked you earlier.”

“It’s OK.” Ed shrugged. “So, should we measure this thing?”

“Of course!” Winry turned back into her usual mechanics loving self. “First I’m going to check the full length, and then…”

“You do realize that sounds a whole lot dirtier than it actually is?” Ed snorted, gaining a dirty look from Winry. “What? I’m just speaking the truth.”

“How about you just shut up for a moment and let me work.” Winry rolled her eyes and tried to focus on her tape measure, which was very hard, though, because she had her bare-chested boyfriend (she was still excited about being able to use that word) in front of her. And he wasn’t a bad sight at all. As expected, his upper body was built, his abs could have worked as a washboard and his only arm had probably been used to lift heavy weights a lot during Ed’s free time. Winry’s fingers traced the scar under the automail port, checking the skin for possible issues, and that made Ed inhale sharply.

“Sorry. Did that hurt?” Winry asked worriedly.

“No… It… felt good.” Ed stammered, trying to keep himself in line. ‘Hydrogen, helium, litium…’

“OK…” Winry said and bent down to write down some measures she had already gotten, her dress not leaving much for Ed’s imagination. He nearly bolted from the bed.

“Done.” She finally stopped her ‘torture’ and put the tape measure and the paper away. She hadn’t even realized she had been holding her breath while working. “Is something wrong?” she asked when she realized Ed was mumbling something incoherent and avoiding eye contact with her. “Ed, I’m your girlfriend. You can tell me.”

“Let’s just say that… I have never wished more that I didn’t have my leg broken,” he said quietly. Winry sat down on his lap and put one of her hands on his cheek, making him look at her.

“It’s OK. We can wait.” She kissed him tenderly, getting a response from him soon. Her fingers played on his bare skin while his metal arm went to cup her ass, the other one massaging her back. Soon Winry realized he wouldn’t open the zipper of her dress unless she gave him a permission, so she pulled away from the kiss and told him: “I’ve seen you shirtless, so it’s only fair you see me that way too… Equivalent exchange…”

“Have I ever told you you are freaking amazing?” Ed breathed before his hand went to unzip the dress while his lips worked on her neck.

“I think you might have mentioned that once or twice but it never hurts to hear it again.” Winry grinned and stood up to shake the dress off once Ed has unzipped it. “What? Have you never seen a half naked woman before?” she teased when Ed gaped at her like she was some kind of miracle.

“I-I have but never anyone who looks as… wow…” His eyes took all of her in, from the thin yet strong thighs to the skin colored strapless bra, before focusing on her face again. Even though she must have been dead tired already, and her make-up was slightly smudged, in Ed’s opinion she looked incredible.

“Thank you,” Winry gently pushed Ed to laying position and settled on his lap, minding his injured leg. “Wanna help me with this?” she turned her back to him, so Ed could unhook her bra.

“Sure, but… I’m gonna explode if we continue much further. And I just said… this is not how I want to do this.”

“I didn’t mean we have to do anything, silly,” she tried to comfort him. “I just want to get rid of this thing because trust me, it’s pretty uncomfortable to sleep with.”

“Oh. OK. I got it.”

After getting her bra unhooked and throwing it away, Winry got up again and made a bit of a show of stretching her arms in front of Ed (giving Ed a very good shot of some of her best features) before pulling her pajama top on her. Ed didn’t know how to react, causing him to just stare at her dumbfounded with his mouth open.

“What was that for?” he asked, sounding almost frustrated.

“Just something for you to look forward to while we are away from each other, I guess.” She winked.

“You dumb, I would… I would be looking forward to our next meeting either way.” Ed folded his arms, sounding almost offended that Winry thought there was any other possibility. “I mean, you look great and all, but I care about your personality more.”

“That means a lot to me, Ed. I… uh, never mind.” She laid down next to him and snuggled her head against his bare chest. “This has been… one of the best days of my life. And a lot of it is thanks to you. I just wanted you to know that.”

“You… you deserve it.” He kissed her on the forehead before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

#edwin #edxwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #fullmetal alchemist #my fics #ice skating au #lcmti

[soulinquest]

Major Changes

The past year has been one of the most challenging of my life. In 2013, my girlfriend of 5 1/2 years was killed in a tragic car accident during a winter white-out. I knew at this point, that the way I processed this and moved forward could go in one of two directions - a healthy rebound putting that pain into something positive, or a self-destructive lifestyle.

I spent around 6 months digesting things and just coming to accept what had been done. I was in a daze for a long time, and frankly, don’t really even remember the following month from being in that hospital room. But in that month, I got a bicycle.

I grew up riding bikes, dirtbikes, four-wheelers, mini-bikes, all of that stuff that an ol’ Indiana kid would be into. Cycling was something that my highshool best friend, and still thankfully current best friend despite living on the other side of the world, got me into. We exchanged hobbies - he bought a dirtbike, and I got a mountain bike when I graduated college. I LOVED my new bike - a 2013 Trek Superfly AL Elite. I may write more about my cycling life at another point.

But after my girlfriend’s passing, I ended up with a roadbike that was drastically beyond my abilities that I could grow into - a 2015 Giant Defy Composite 0 with a full electronic Ultegra Di2 component set. We got a killer deal on it, but again, I don’t fully remember the details around the time I got it.

Friends of mine said they could even say they saw it on me. I thankfully never got into a very destructive habit at that point, beyond the anti-anxiety medications that helped me move forward. Those with the combination of stress and PTSD symptoms lead to this blackout period.

From there, I racked up around 5,000 miles over the next few years. I dropped 30lbs. I was in the best shape of my life and happy. I loved that period of my life. I spent so much time biking alone, which was obviously lonely at times, but I loved the freedom and having a hobby as intense as this to spend my money on - roof racks, bike upgrades, kits and gear, and even more bikes.

When that best friend of mine referenced above graduated college and got a job, it ended up being in Florida. This was something tough for me to reconcile with because this guy was my best friend and directly responsible for the most enjoyable trips and adventures I had ever had. We have had ups and downs, together and individually. We grew apart, grew back together, and now have a long distance friendship that allows us to see eachother a few times a year maybe, but the quality of our friendship never changed, and I’m thankful for that. It’s hard to find genuine friends these days to connect with, that have the same interests in you, and that aren’t already married or in a serious relationship of their own which they understandably are putting an enormous amount of time and effort into.

The day my best friend, who I’ll reference to as Arthur (not his real name, but an inside joke between us), left to go to Florida, he stopped by my apartment on his way out for a going away/roommate birthday party. It was one of the best parties I’ve ever been to. I don’t typically love these ragers, but having so many close family and friends and the electricity in the air made it amazing. 

That night, I met up with a girl, who I will refer to as Liz (also not her real name), that went to my high school and I had been one date on. We went out and had an amazing evening together that night as I split from the party some. This eventually turned into a very intense, tight knit relationship that felt like it made my life complete.

The point of this post is to talk about that. My relationship with Liz went strong for a year and a half. We were happy, we did many things, I even got a passport and left the country for my first time. She broke down a lot of barriers in my life, showed me how to be vulnerable, and was nothing but a positive influence that I was so proud to have. We had our issues with communication that I think plagues many relationships, but that didn’t alter my opinion that we had something great.

The truth of it is this though, as this was all going on, I ended up being isolating myself and not allowing myself to be the full person I was or who I wanted to be. I didn’t treat her as well as I wanted to. Not in an abusive way, but I wish I could have made her feel special. The reason that I couldn’t was because I was living somewhat of a double life. One side was a successful young professional with a great salary, friends, hobbies, and seemed to have life figured out. The other side was someone who fell into a trap with opiates that I struggled with for around a year. 

A friend from college who I will refer to as Bill (not his real name), offered me heroin on the first day we moved in together in 2015 or 2016. I was told “hey man, this is just like the vicodins and percocets we have done in the past, it’s fun. Not a big deal. It has a stigma that I think is bullshit but I do it a few times a month maybe now, you should give it a try”. That exact moment is something I wish I could go back and change so bad. I enjoy drugs. I enjoy the experiences and mind altering effects. Opiates were always my favorite. I drew a line for myself at Cocaine and Heroin, knowing that I would probably enjoy either of those TOO much, and would have hard time not falling into the stereotypical story that the “not even one time” campaign refers to. That one time sparked something that I didn’t reconcile or identify for a long time.

I tried it. I loved it. I don’t think anyone could NOT love it. The chemical reactions that it causes in your brain would pretty much keep you from ever not enjoying it. We smoked it. It tasted good, like a roasted marshmallow. I did a small amount with him that night, which turned into a “let’s get more for tomorrow to celebrate our new apartment”. 

This post could go on forever, but I think the direction it’s moving is obvious. A special occasion turned into weekends which turned into weekdays, which turned into every day. I looked forward to it, but the first time we couldn’t get any, I suddenly realized that I had become physically dependent. It became a fun activity to what felt like a necessity that you could place in line with eating food, drinking water, and breathing air. I was a mess without it. Flu symptoms, depression, everything. 

This didn’t last long though. Even though I crossed that bridge, I realized how wrong this was. I substituted this for oxy and vicodin. In comparison, these are much better, but still was not great. It just allowed me to keep functioning.

All during this time, I was dating Liz. She had no idea. At first, all of this second life didn’t feel like a second life. It felt like something that just happened here and there and that I just wasn’t sharing with her. I became so upset with Bill for introducing me and convincing me “It’s not a big deal” and blamed him for so long. But this was a decision I made - I could have said no, walked away, he only offered. So despite Bill still being on that path and us not talking at all anymore, I was still stuck with this habit. 

I remember panicking at times, thinking “What the fuck did I do? How did I get to this place? This isn’t me. Am I going to be able to escape from this? Can I do this on my own? How does this story end?”

From there, I did months of research to quit, recovery help, vitamins and supplements to assist and make it easier to stop to prevent the possibility of a relapse. I was so angry at Bill and never wanted to bring someone else into this world with me. I would do anything I could to tell people to avoid that devil’s powder. I feel that people may be able to enjoy low level opiates on a responsible basis, but I think that the ability to do that with dope is nearly impossible. 

I had my supplements, vitamins, knowledge of what I was against, and had successfully tapered down from the worst of the worst, to just Oxys. “Just Oxy” is kind of a joke to say cause it’s still a monster itself, but at least it wasn’t the dope that I know Bill was spending $100/day on, previously was selling to me and ripping me off and taking from my portion, whatever. I felt like I was taking steps in the right direction. 

Liz never knew any of this. Turns out, she had suspicions all along by how I acted, looked, occasional money issues, or her wondering why I was leaving the house sometimes. Most of that was due to my second life. I kept this all from her because I didn’t want to pull her in. Having social support was something I always wanted, but I know the stigma, judgement, embarrassment for asking for help, and everything else kept me from doing that. 

I convinced myself I was going to do this on my own. That I’d fix this, and move forward with Liz without ever looking back. I had gotten clean 3 times for drug tests, vacations, and other things, but ended up right back in it because I may not have wanted it to stop and endure the shit of withdrawals at all so that I could continue functioning, and so that I could be the functional person I needed to be for my job, relationships, and friends.

But that second life ended and became my main life. I was caught. Liz found a stash and was pissed, with every right to be. I had fabricated stories to cover things up, lied about things, and probably acted a bit weird or messed up at times. She felt crazy convincing herself that she was overthinking things and that there was nothing to worry about, but she obviously knew for a lot longer than I thought. I thought I was so sneaky, that quitting would be easy, but I was wrong.

Fast forward to today. Liz and I are on an indefinite break or broken up. Kind of blurry there. She wants the best for me, but also won’t let her be with me for feeling like I lied to her to an extreme amount about something huge for a very long time. I don’t deny or disagree with any of that. This past Saturday, I was two weeks clean. She gave me the chance to fix things and work through it all. I was going through my camping supplies to prep for a surprise trip for her birthday in an effort for me to do more for her, and came across some lost old scraps. You know what happens next.

I fell back in. I didn’t think about it. I felt accomplished in my two weeks, but should have just thrown it out rather than enjoying it. She caught me there, and that was the last straw. She called my brother, parents, and next thing I know, my life is being flipped upside down and I was being driven to Fort Wayne for my parents to basically take custody of me until I was fixed. I hate that things ended up this way, but have accepted that it was probably needed. Doing this all on my own would have been much harder than doing it with support. Since then, I’ve come clean with my friends and family. Everyone was fairly stunned, but some were kind of just finally getting a confirmation that there was something going on when they thought they saw something weird. Arthur was one of them. He has had this plague a cousin of his and has saw the damage it can do. Beyond that, I practically trained him in safe drug use in college. He isn’t an idiot. He saw it in my eyes. He didn’t call me out, but even if he did, I probably would have denied it at that point.

Liz has decided to work on herself and become more confident and independent. I think that is great for her. I am without doubt scared of the idea of not being able to reconcile and losing her, but these are the consequences. I’m luckily still talking to her and we are civil, but she has drawn a line that she can’t fully trust me right now, and that if we were to ever get back together - it would be a long path of proving myself to her that I have changed. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I feel at one of the lowest points of my life. Second half of my 20′s, and am living at home, crying daily, scared, and accepting I fucked a lot of shit up. I don’t know if I could have avoided this in any way beyond never doing it that first time. One time is enough to suck you in. 

I’m doing a lot to address this moving forwards. I’m identifying my vices, reviewing my coping mechanisms with stress, rewiring my brain so that I’m 100% honest always (whether that hurts me or not), letting my friends know of what has happened so that they can support me, push me, and watch me. I’ve removed contacts and cut ties with negative influences. And now I’m starting a blog to externalize any struggles I have. I will be inviting a small number of my friends to this to be able to see this as part of my open and honesty portion of change. 

Since I feel like I’m typing to myself, I’ll be putting it all out here. Cravings, feelings of weakness, failures, accomplishments, all of it. I invite everyone to comment and join me on this journey.

First post of many to come.