#i suck at being social

[babypuffinzoe]

.

#tw mental health #this will probably end up like a mini rant so feel free to ignore #i am just not feeling it today #i haven't felt like myself in a while #but tbh i don't even know who myself is most of the time #aftee being diagnosed with a few things last year i thought it would help with my progress #and it has in some ways #but dealing with all this is so hard and i am tired af #i don't find joy in anything i used to #i don't particularly like myself on most days #i feel like i'm constantly annoying everyone #i suck at being social #lately i suck at everything #that's what my brain tells me all day and it puts me off starting anything #i have to figure out how to get past that #but rn that feels impossible #ugh 😭 #anyways i'm sure things will get better in time #probably when my period comes 😂 #but what to do in the meantime 🤔

[toxiccaves]

I think what a lot of tumblr-only people are missing about twitter failing, is that it was always a better website when it came to small businesses, instant world event news, fact checking, having users from all over the world, being a source for disaster relief information or warnings, and anything else to keep people up to date with going ons.

Sure, tumblr has many users from all over, but the website is still largely english biased and not nearly as widespread as twitter. I know a lot of news and knowledge comes in on here too. I've learned a lot and see a lot of donation posts in regards to world events, but its nothing like twitter unless you know who to follow. Not to mention, half the news I got here, was days later and from twitter to begin with.

Seeing that being taken away in favor of hate speech and enabling abusers (with the recent potential of getting rid of the block feature over there) and pushing blue user comments to the top (aka elon's weird fans), drowning out anyone else on popular posts, sucks! It sucks for the world and small businesses. because there's really no alternative to it right now.

The site's running rampant with spam and scammers and its becoming more and more unusable by the day. And some people think it's silly to be upset over it or "you shouldn't have all your eggs in one basket" well there only is one basket! This is literally people's livelihoods people seem to be making fun of anytime a change happens that breaks the site and people post all their socials.

And everyone from every country is talking about different websites they're considering, and its splitting up our connection to the world. And surely he knew who this was hurting with every decision.

#idk i see some people being weird about EW TWITTER PEOPLE like well for one they were surely already here too #but you need to understand how small of a community is over here vs twitter essentially being like. world internet hub #people are constantly reminding u of their other socials over there because where are we gonna make our money when its done #starting from scratch sucks. tumblr has been helpful but nothing gets much traction anymore #idk sorry for long post rant but it feels kinda crummy when ppl are downplaying it like this isnt disconnecting friends or communities #or ppls best sources of income

[forestgreenlesbian]

youre not allowed to b a freak loser loner anymore or at least youre not allowed to mention it lol. even like five years ago you could talk about being awkward and socially weird around meeting new people but now if you do that eveeryones like "ok edgelord you are deliberately cutting yourself off from community why are you so obsessed with being alone. you all need to go outside and make real friends you are too online." which like yes obviously but why is eveyrone acting like the only two options are you either a) have a load of friends or b) you don't want them??? it is so weird. to be seen trying & failing has become so taboo that people assume if you're alone it's because you want to be and youre trying to be cool & aloof or else you see things like small talk or reaching out to people as "emotional labour" and choose not to do them. like i am not fucking choosing not to do them i literally try to do them every day and find it very hard and then you tell me i can't even joke about that struggle or being a lonely friendless loser to maybe for one second make light of the bottomless pit of disconnect + loneliness i experience every day without someone blaming me for not putting myself out there. idk

#as i'm typing this i'mrealising maybe this is an autism problem. like to feel completely separated from the social world by this pane of #thick glass your whole life and then to hear people say it's a you problem that you need to fix if you don't want to be alone forever #idk just that post going around about small talk 'i have social anxiety' 'then suck it up and learn how to interact with people!' like?? #arent we trying to do that already??? i'm sorry that being percieved as a social reject freak my whole life might have negatively affected #my ability to reach out to people? it just feels mean spirited lol. idk. anyway

[introspectivememories]

absolutely obsessed with the idea of timbern being super secretive over bear's time in the cult.

on one hand, bear is wildly insecure of his scars from the cult. cause it's not like he fucking got them saving the city or helping someone, he was just stupid enough to get sucked into a cult. (a voice in the back of his head that sounds a lot like his therapist and tim tell him that kids are supposed to be stupid and that his time in the cult is more a reflection of the adults in his life than his own choices) anyway his back and legs are like a mess of scarring and normally he'd just tattoo over them but scars have to be a certain age before they're tattooable. so he now just covers them up.

on the other hand, tim is insanely protective over bear's traumas. like if he got any more protective he'd be like certified deranged. so he just straight up dodges or lies about bear's backstory. anyway all this to say, they're hanging out in the pool at the manor and nobody but them ws supposed to be home. so bear thinks it's safe to take off his shirt. they're both having fun until someone says behind bear, "dude... what happened to your back?" cue tim lunging at them like a rabid dog and bear struggling to hold tim back going "tim, tim, what the fuck, what the fuck????"

#batfamily member: get your dog bitch #bear barely holding tim back smiling: he don't bite #them looking at tim growling and snarling and trying to bite them: YES HE FUCKIN DO!!!! #i think the idea of tim being more affected by bear's trauma than bear is insanely funny #bear talking about his trauma: yeah i was in a school shooting and then i got sucked into a pain cult but hey! you live and learn right? #tim punching the ground crying screaming: hasn't he been through /enough/?! #one of the cult leaders gets out on parole and red robin shows up at their house to beat them up #tim's bear's attack dog. his pokemon if you will #bad social scenario? bear shouts 'i summon you tim drake!' and tim the sappy bastard that he is strikes a pose like theyre team rocket #that's a compleste lie btw. tim is the pokemon girlie. bear is the yugioh girlie. they get into arguments about this daily. #it does not help that dami and duke are on bear's side while jason and dick are on tim's #it becomes an all out war and bruce refuses to pick a side #dc #bernard dowd #tim drake #timber #timbern

[roarinsaurus]

i feel like i should just accept that special interest may become a word that just, won't be for autistic people to talk about their experiences. allistics found out about it and watered it down for their own purposes.

#jay chatter #in the grand scheme it's just a phrase but like. sucks i can't properly describe the weight of my experience #without someone who doesn't freak people out or annoy them for only being able to talk about ONE thing going “yeah my special interest is” #special interest is a symptom of the social disorder because it affects you SOCIALLY too...

[queerofthedagger]

i mean this in the like... nicest way possible, but there is no way to post your writing and/or art on the internet without running the very high risk of it getting scraped, whether you post it on tumblr, pillowfort, or ao3. sites being 'anti ai' does not mean your art cannot be scraped. it is simply almost impossible to prevent, much less guarantee that. I'm not saying this to be a pessimist or to stop people from being rightfully pissed about this. it sucks. massively so! but if the idea does in fact bother you that much, you should know that moving sites won't fix the issue. ao3, as far as we know, has been scraped/is getting scraped. you can set your fics so that only logged in users can access them, but it only makes scraping one step more difficult, and by no means impossible and the otw has stated this clearly.

which, again, this sucks! i don't have a great solution either!! but tumblr is relatively honest, at least, when it tells you that it cannot prevent, only discourage it. ao3 said the same thing. any site promising you otherwise is, to the best of my knowledge, lying to you.

#*mine #mona rambles #personally my stance is and always has been a somewhat resigned 'if i post it on the Internet it might get stolen' #which ofc is.not optimal #but i see a lot of misinformation and supposed alternatives get thrown around and uhhh. yeah i don't think they are it imma be real #like you can find me on other sites i should make a post again #but the same way i never locked down my fics I'm not leaving tumblr over this #I'm not going to stop posting over the most recent art theft scheme and I'm wary of uninformed shouts for stricter copyright #considering we're yk #in fandom and that's a slippery slope #but i do think at the end of the day regulations will have to be the way to go #as of now there's just very little you can do. and again!! that sucks!! i get being upset i am too!! #but yeah realistically the next great social media site isn't going to 'finally be good trust me bro'

[pro-sipper]

What do proshippers generally believe about shipping real people? Stuff like creator x creator or celebrity x reader?

That it falls under the umbrella of "you should be allowed to write anything you want". Once again, it's not my personal thing. There's no real life pairing I read for, and the whole "blank x reader" is not appealing to me at all.

But I have no problem with people writing that stuff, or knowing it's out there. I saw someone a while back say that it's basically just writing about another character, and I agree with that. No matter how much a creator posts or how open a celebrity seems with their personal life, we're still only seeing a tiny snippet of their lives. We have no clue who they are when the cameras aren't recording because we just don't know them. And whatever someone chooses to write about is mostly stemming from that particular persona that they happen to put on for the world and that's it. It's completely separate from our reality because they're basically just writing about another made up character

The problem I have, and it's what I imagine most proshippers also take issue with, is when people start blurring the lines between fiction and reality. To me, there's a world of difference between posting something on ao3, and speculating on secret relationships in the comments of someone's youtube video. Or between talking about something on tumblr, and tagging the person directly on twitter.

I just don't understand people who condemn rpf and talk about how gross and invasive it is, but think it's funny to tag celebrities on twitter to bring up (what they think is) cringe-worthy fanfic tropes that people have written them into. Or people who print out fanworks to shove into an actor's face at a meet and greet and ask them what they think about it. That's where the lines get crossed, to me.

I think ao3 and tumblr still have an air of mysticism to them. A little secrecy, a little privacy. In the sense that someone in the public eye would have to put in a little work to find this stuff for themselves. They'd have to go to the site and search themselves up to find anything. As opposed to just about anyone in the world being able to force this content in their line of sight with a simple @ on a site like twitter.

So to me the problem isn't that this content exists. The problem is when people don't know how to keep fandom stuff private. Write all the rpf you want but remember at the end of the day these are real people, not your blorbos. You don't know them. It's inappropriate to say these things to them personally (which yes, also includes tagging them on twitter or in the comments of their videos). But it's also inappropriate to run up to them with other people's content just to say "look what these FREAKS wrote about you!!" And I think people either forget or just genuinely don't care about the latter.

#proship #proshippers #pro ship #proshippers please interact #proshipper #proshipping #rpf #real person fiction #asks #anonymous #sip rambles #i know its so much crazier in this day and age than when i was a kid #with social media and stupid stuff like tiktok basically being a requirement of the job it seems #and celebs posting constantly and having a quick way to interact with fans #or content creators whose entire brand exists on social media apps like tiktok #who seem to be posting 24/7 and broadcasting their whole lives #and i know most of those types of creators mostly have younger followers who probably do very easily get sucked into #feeling like they know that person like thats their friend #and i also dont think that type of creator really discourages those feelings bc... they want followers and $$$ #but idk just write your fic and read it or dont do either and just leave celebs alone irl please please please

[captaintrio]

hey so I'm literally starting to hate the word "radical" in its political usage.

it is not radical to think that people deserve food and clean water.

it is not radical to think that people deserve safe housing, full stop.

it is not radical to think that bodily autonomy is a human right.

it is not radical to think that queer and trans folks should be allowed to exist comfortably and happily, be allowed to marry each other, and have access to medical care, gender-affirming or otherwise.

it is not radical to think that children shouldn't be going into debt over school lunches.

it is not radical to think that education should be free.

it is not radical to think that nobody should have to die of preventable/treatable illnesses.

it is not radical to think that poverty shouldn't fucking exist.

belief in basic human rights and dignities for everyone that exists is not a radical stance, we're a cooperative species, we are LITERALLY built to care for and help each other.

attaching the term "radical" to any stance that approaches compassionate and decent is a tool of the oppressor class, and we are literally 200 years behind the curve. we HAVE to re-frame the way we talk about these things and throw the fucking shackles off.

#av speaks #don't come after me about radical vs reactionary #I know what the words mean i've written so many gd papers you would not believe #I'm saying that irrespective of the current political usage #that word is wrong and is a mechanism that is in use to like #purposefully keep everyone desperate and scattered #nobody wants to be part of a radical group because we've been socialized to conform #so labeling anything good for us as radical taps into a lizard brain fear response #of being part of the out-group #gotta stop looking at people as out- vs in-groups #its a rabbit hole of suck and it's killing us

[elllteo]

Creators I love you but it's time to wake up

Among rumors about our tumblr user data being sold off to Midjourney/Generative AI, recent Extremely transphobic events (that have been ongoing) coming to a head, another extremely concerning internet censorship bill being pushed in upper levels of government, and a general air of frustration over how the site belongs to and is operated by perhaps the second stupidest CEO (second only to twitters own) of our age, I'm very done with the last few vestiges of what the old internet held for artists.

And if you're reading this, you probably are too.

I know we're tired. We are all tired. It is not always viable to pack up shop and move, again and again and again.

From tumblr to twitter to anywhere else we've ever grown up posting, things no longer work. Our audiences are kneecapped by aggressive and hostile algorithms, our reach is abysmal - if we aren't shadow-banned or silenced for one (transphobic) reason or another, we're thrust into an ever growing pit of hostility where the only thing that drives clicks is fighting and contention.

We're tired. We're so fucking tired. We aren't businesses, we aren't content mills, we cannot keep this pace that modern social media has set for us, to wring every ounce of creativity out of us to profit from and leave us rotting.

The key to staying afloat here, and I cannot stress this enough, is to stay connected to your peers.

Pack up and move as units if you must. Exodus from the sites that are killing us. Push your entire friend group of artists to move from one site to the next that promises you a kinder experience.

Art drives movements, it drives change, it is all that encompasses being human. If you take that away from the shitty places, they will be left with nothing but a cesspit of inhumanity and the people who follow you will be more incentivized than ever to move with you.

Yes, this is terrifying. There are no guarantees. There never was, and never are, and never will be.

But stay connected. Stay human.

Support each other and be willing to hold hands and jump when we all - as a group - need to jump from the flames we're all trying to convince ourselves wont kill us before rescue comes.

Rescue isn't coming, rescue will be found hand in hand with each other. I'm offering you my hand, please take it. There's always a new start, there are always helping hands reaching for you. You have to look up from the doom-scroll long enough to see and take them.

#art communities #art community #teo talks #sorry I have a Lot of opinions about posting art online I've been doing this since I was 14 and I'm 28 this year #I have watched the rise and fall of social media titans and you have to understand the ONLY thing that will keep you afloat #is keeping connected to your peers #we have to move as units and we have to stay together and we have to support each other #your following is not stability. your friendships are. #thats why you hear about networking. thats ceo talk for friendships. connections. #you have to have enough connections to build your own support web on the chance that everything goes to shit. yes its hard work. it sucks. #but it is a necessity. twitter isn't getting better. its not going back to how it was. neither is DA or tumblr. its not happening. #If you put all your eggs in one or two precarious baskets and both fall. you will be shit out of luck! thats reality #there is hope to be found but you have to be realistic and understand that you NEED to build up a presence elsewhere. even if its hard. #I want to help you if I can!!!! bluesky is a really solid twitter alternative!!! #ive heard good things about cohost as a tumblr alternative!!!! #sheezy and inkblot are both indie sites currently being developed by and for other creatives. support them! #they won't be perfect until - and UNLESS - you do! #anyways sorry I will step off my soapbox now Im just frustrated with the state of everything

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[spicyet]

With the end and all, it just gives too much of an opening to make Shuro learn his place and realize just how much Falin and Laois have in common— after finally realizing he’s got much to learn especially from those who are more eagerly set on their goals than he’s even been— hopefully so much so he learns to loosen up a lot more, and anyways what I’m trying to say here is Laois and Shuro should make some yaoi I think.

#dungeon meshi #falin touden #laios touden #Shuro #I get that he’s pretty boring by himself that’s why Shuro needs some Laois spice I believe #Sometimes we need the neurotypical x autistic Yaoi ship to remind us it’s not hard to learn and empathize and suck cock #But I also don’t think Liaos and Falin are as simple as just ‘different gender same chars’ rather… #different tastes of autism but clearly two different types of people one whims more gentle and the other more laidback and almost aloof #Listen…Falin is the DM mascot best girl of the year #Laois is her best fails comp brother with no social awareness but is learning he needs to change into being more empathetic and observant

[gynoidgearhead]

moderation wage labor is inhumane and this is one functional reason social media is a fundamentally insolvent concept

#not that other wage labor isn't categorically inhumane (basically all wage labor under capitalism is inhumane) #but moderation labor... look i can both think facebook sucks institutionally *and* think nobody should have to look at the shit there #especially when they're being paid an absolute pittance and aren't being offered therapy. and especially with graphic gore and csam etc #like look. anyone who does meaningful moderation labor should own a share of the platform they help maintain. #and this is basically never going to happen as long as the owner/rentier/capitalist class exists and owns these platforms #moderation #labor #capitalism #social media #alienation of labor

[guqin-and-flute]

I've found that outright "banning" certain behavior from myself doesn't work (no Youtube, don't write in this part of the house), but setting stipulations that help me stay closer to what the actual goal I hope to achieve does.

So I have a new rule; I can only watch Youtube or Netflix if I'm doing something creative with my hands while doing it. No matter how tired or how much I just want to zone out and veg, I need to be sewing or knitting or drawing or needle felting or making a flower crown or whatever. If I really want to decompress and lay there, I can listen to a podcast or read a book or take a nap. Because the whole goal of not going on Youtube is so that I don't get sucked into just idly wasting hours of my day and not being in the mood to do creative things. So by keeping the creativity present in relaxing, I'm making my stepping off point much more attainable.

It also has the bonus of, if I've sat down to write and I find myself wandering off to watch Youtube, I get to ask, 'Alright, so are you transitioning to another task? Then you'd better get up and get the stuff ready.' Which helps bounce me back because inertia to organize things is hard to initiate, but even if I do, I'm still doing something on my 'I wanna try this' list.

#I'm mostly making this to remind myself but also if anyone else wanted to try something similar #It's so much easier to transition from 'needle felting mushrooms onto a hat' to 'writing' #than from being sucked into the youtube rabbit hole and attempting to pull myself away wholesale #I'm very sneaky. I will find excuses to continue watching #My stuff #I've also set app limits on all my social media apps and taken Youtube off of my main screen--like I have to go search through my apps #to start it

[kithj]

begging all the people doing queer reimaginings to stop for like 5 seconds and think: is this adding anything to the original story? or am i taking something away? do i understand the original intent behind this story? what am i saying by reimagining it in this way?

please. i'm tired of all the queer stories being bland reimaginings that don't even understand the source material

#sorry im being a hater for a moment #i DO think it's possible to do interesting reimaginings. there are stories that would be compelling to view through a gay/feminist/etc lens #however. not at the expense of the social & historical context #anyways i recently i saw a frollo/esmerelda sapphic retelling and it pissed me off so bad #at a certain point it's fine to just. publish an original story #you're allowed to take inspiration from something without calling it a retelling or whatever #you're just misrepresenting the original work and yourself. in fact actively harming your own work by presenting it in this way #also that frollo/esmerelda shit just sucked ass. if you wanted to do some weird sapphic nun shit you could have just #made your own characters instead. why even choose that story when all you did was reduce quasimodo to a child #that only existed to make frollo seem more likeable for adopting him. why even make frollo likeable.... #again you do not understand the source material #anyways ive made and deleted this post like a dozen times at this point butim finally posting it. lmfao

[ourhouseishaunted]

people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"

#.txt #dungeon meshi #laios #like. okay. i think its a very autistic experience to Want People In Your Life So Badly but because you act differently and have a hard time #with social cues you dont get that easy friendship and it sucks and youre lonely as hell #<- source: im autistic #but ALSO. i think some people forget that missing social cues genuinely makes you rude. even if you dont mean it #intent goes a long way but sometimes the autistic experience is realizing that Unfortunately You May Have Been A Dick #or that being intense or overbearing or disregarding boundries you dont know are there Drives People Away #like idk i think wanting people to look deeper and see whats worthwhile about you while also realizing youve unintentionally #driven people away #and that you can be misunderstood AND need to improve how you treat people #is an interesting story (growing as a person while also understanding that you were worthwhile the whole time even if others didnt see it) #on TOP of being a. idk more true to life autism expereince at least for me #and characters who have these kinds of arcs are really fascinating to me and i think theres a lot of nuance to them #and idk it sucks when people try to act as if lack of malicious intent suddenly means everyone who doesnt love you unconditionally is wrong #to be clear sometimes its not the Neurodivergentisms that drive ppl away sometimes its smth else #but idk i find more nuanced approaches to characters like this feel much more engaging to me and its lame when it seems like ppl go out #of their way to remove nuance from characters :/

[hurglewurm]

me: keeps drawing random one-off fanarts from things that aren't currently big at all

also me: why no notes on my arte

#grateful for all of u lol #but why no notes !! lol !! i want attention i want engagement #i need to be LOVED and sharing my art is the vessel through which i ascribe my self worth... #it's like how if you have a long list of movies to watch ur still more likely to just. #watch some random movie you heard about 2 minutes ago that seems interesting. if u have spare movie time #bc it's lower pressure or smth #idk brother ! idk #im just chillin here in my cave drawing things apparently only i want to see and like maybe 5 other people #welcome to my cave #alligates says things #yo being an artist on the internet is genuinely awful. social media is not built for my delicate ass #even popular artists (i might technically be a popular artist) like i Know it sucks babe. i know #anyway 'no notes' generally in the past i could hit like. 500 ? with relative ease ? sometimes #yall i'm struggling to hit 100. why 7 reblogs and 35 likes. this is not the way #i'm a creator on the internet complaining about numbers ! not really gonna stop me tho #let's be honest whether or not i'm getting attention my ability to draw or not is contingent on. my own psychological ass. and little else #thank u for listening. it is my bedtime. goonite #if you read all these tags... idk. tell me the name of your favourite flower !