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ggoldstein-blog1 · 5 years

Text

❝ In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses. ❞

RILEY HAYES-GOLDSTEIN really is the spitting image of MARGARET QUALLEY, right? For someone only 23 years old, RILEY has been forced to endure so much. Yeah, that HALFBLOOD has been scraping by at the sanctuary since MARCH, 2028, working as a SUPPLY RUNNER in the DIVISION OF FORAGE. SHE is a CIS-WOMAN and is known to be SARDONIC and PESSIMISTIC but also WITTY and MORALLY RESPONSIBLE. Best of luck surviving through this. ⊰ JINX, 24, PST, SHE/THEY ⊱

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Daria ( Daria ), Seth Cohen ( The OC ), Veronica Sawyer( Heathers ), Ron Swanson/Ben Wyatt ( Parks & Rec ), Quentin Coldwater ( The Magicians ), Pam Beasley ( The Office ), Zari Tomaz ( Legends of Tomorrow ), Nadine Franklin ( Edge of Seventeen ), Lindsay Weir ( Freaks and Geeks )

PINTREST: [ x ]

When you meet Riley Hayes, a picturesque childhood in a picturesque suburbia is not what you would expect and yet it was exactly what she had. Born on the cusp of summer and fall, Rachel and Christopher were over the moon to have their daughter born on August 28, 2010. Finally, a child to complete the perfect family unit. Maybe they had hoped for a boy despite what science said ( hence the name Riley & a full name for a boy they had prepared ) but, they had a daughter and for the first ten years of her life they pampered her greatly. Trips to the coast every summer to visit his side of the family where Riley was praised for being such a pretty, good girl, and what seemed like infinite love from her father was doled out as long as she was what he wanted her to be. The younger girl was cooperative, it was in her nature it seemed, because she loved seeing her parents happy with each other. As long as Riley stayed within the lines, stayed within Christopher’s lines at least, everything would be well. Even when Riley started to develop a few habits and interests that were off the wall, he brushed them aside as childhood obsessions. Never could he accept his family for what they were which is exactly why he left.

[ PARENTAL ABANDONMENT TW ] The ugly truth was, Riley was an accident and the picture painted had been a lie – not that Riley knew until then. While she knew they had gotten married young she’d never known how much exactly her mother had given up to be with her father. Rachel Hayes had left her family, forsaken her religion ( as Christopher was a very religious Christian man ), the semi famous Goldstein Wizarding name, and moved down south into this suburbia all with the promise of a family. The biggest thing? Magic. When Christopher left a year before Riley entered Hogwarts school, Riley was forced to grow up and pick up the pieces of a broken lost woman who simply couldn’t find herself in the rubble that was the aftermath of her father leaving. But finding out she was an accident was the least of her worries. No matter how much poetry she wrote trying to figure out her mind, oftentimes thinking she was losing it, something within her was different, something within her felt different. [ END PARENTAL ABANDONMENT TW ]

It took a few months to coax the why from her mother, and truly she was her caretaker. It wasn’t until her 10th birthday when she got the letter from Ilvermony that she realized what exactly was off. When she confronted her mother – her mother just poured everything out to her. Who Riley was, who her family was, what she was doing with her life before she met Christopher. At first, Riley couldn’t believe it – – she’d grown up hiding comics under her bed, hiding anything about the supernatural away. Even if her whole life she had felt a weird pull to these people who didn’t belong in her comics, these freaks, she never in her wildest dreams thought she’d have something in common with them. It all made sense though, and finally the pieces of her life started to come together. Riley knew what she had to do, so at the age of 10, she went with her mother to Wizarding NYC to try to find out more. To try to find the family her mother left behind.

After that, everything fell into place – her family was beyond accepting, even if they gave her shit, more than she’d ever known from her dad’s family and her mom started to get better as she become more true to herself. The family reconciled, helping Riley and Rachel move into a flat in NYC, in Chinatown. Rachel got a job at the American Ministry as an assistant and with the help of some family members and Riley started to prepare for school wizarding school. She’d never been more happy in her life. New York City was her home, more than her podunk shitty town ever had, and she felt a freedom that made her wander the city, she felt a freedom to finally be herself. The only issue then? Riley wanted to go to a school far away from everything, because even if New York was her home, she needed to a break from being in the states. A break from all these people who knew who her family was & really, a place that was her own to find her own in the world. Easily, she picked Hogwarts and was delighted when they accepted her no matter how far she was. Hufflepuff was the perfect house for her, even if she wasn’t the most conventional or stereotypical kind of one.

For years, she pushed away a lot of the pain she felt – she figured her pain was her own, it was selfish of her to dwell on it or even think about it when she had this new fantastic life. Only in her poetry would she divulge her feelings, only her poetry knew that she felt inexplicably lost in the world the more she saw it. Around her 14th birthday, she met two boys in school who were a bit older than her but the twins ended up being her half-brothers – as they found they shared a father. A scumbag father who’d also been horrible to them. It was then that Riley wanted to distance herself from her father even more, fiercely signing and writing her last name as Hayes-Goldstein or just Goldstein when she could get away with it.

[ DEPRESSION MENTION ] The thing was, the reminder of her father, the reminder that he was out there ruining more people’s lives, that he was out there spawning more children really intensely messed with Riley’s head. Why wasn’t she good enough for him to stay? Why couldn’t they have been enough? It was stupid, but the thoughts started to consume her and the lost feeling just got bigger. [ DRINKING, DRUGS MENTION ] Picking up vices like smoking, smoking pot, drinking beer after a long day of work, anything to escape the feeling that she didn’t really have a place in this world. Not one she could see. What was she even going to do with her life after school? What did she have to offer the world? A loneliness she could not shake slept with her at night like any blanket did, every day felt like she was smothered. [ DRUGS, DRINKING, DEPRESSION MENTION END ] Every day there was a new realization that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life, that she didn’t really have a place in the world.

After graduating she lived in a tiny shitty flat by herself in muggle London ( but she loved it ) with her cat Bogart the 3rd, worked at a book store in Diagon Alley and focused on her own writing, attempting to get it published. When the Inferi outbreak happened she had just gotten her first non-rejection from a publishing press, at 23, but as fate would have it the world fell apart. When the climate in the Wizarding World of England became a developing war zone, Riley wanted nothing to do with it but because of who she was – because of what her religion reminded of her – she couldn’t just stand idly by. Riley knew that even if she was Neutral, she would fight & die with her friends if need be, but nothing prepared for a zombie outbreak. Riley is beyond fucked up and freaked out by the idea of zombies, finding comfort in her religion but questioning it even further – how could G-d allow this? She did what she could for the effort at Hogwarts, angry, scared, and simply trying to make sure the people she loves survives as well as herself.

LIKES & INTERESTS: Cult Classics - Movies ( Heathers, Dead Poets Society, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous ), Blue raspberry Slushies, Donuts, Judaism, Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Smiths, the color blue, writing poetry, e. e. cummings, art museums, greek mythology, rmemes, Rolling joints on her favorite books, biblical mythology, astronomy, astrology ( she finds it very entertaining in a mocking way and would never admit there’s a small part of her that enjoys it ), Star Wars, black cats, black cats named Boggart, black nail polish, tattoos, carnivals, comic books, ferris wheels, puns, the sea, jellyfish, NPR every morning, going to the beach at twilight, 4 am drives, 5am runs, spliff.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Observant, Cooperative, Strategic, Witty, Intelligent, Resilient, Responsible.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reserved, Pessimistic, Sardonic, Secretive, Curious ( it will get her into trouble ), Awkward, Suspicious.

#inferiintro #reduce....reuse...recycle INTROS #let it be known riley misses her memes and netflix the most out of anything

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rileyhgoldstein · 5 years

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❝ In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses. ❞

MARGARET QUALLEY? No, that’s actually RILEY HAYES-GOLDSTEIN. A SIXTH YEAR student, this HUFFLEPUFF student is sided with DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY. SHE identifies as CIS-WOMAN and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be SARDONIC, PARANOID, and PESSIMISTIC but also MORALLY-RESPONSIBLE, WITTY, and RESILIENT.

TRIGGERS: Anxiety, Depression, Parental Abandonment, Mentions of Drugs™ and Alcohol™

LIKES & INTERESTS: Cult Classics - Movies ( Heathers, Dead Poets Society, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous ), Blue raspberry Slushies, Donuts, Judaism, Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Strokes, The Smiths, the color blue, writing poetry, e. e. cummings, art museums, greek mythology, rmemes, Rolling joints on her favorite books, biblical mythology, astronomy, astrology ( she finds it very entertaining in a mocking way and would never admit there’s a small part of her that enjoys it ), Star Wars, black cats, black cats named Boggart, black nail polish, tattoos, carnivals, comic books, ferris wheels, puns, the sea, jellyfish, NPR every morning, going to the beach at twilight, 4 am drives, 5am runs, spliff.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Observant, Cooperative, Strategic, Witty, Intelligent, Resilient, Morally Responsible, Loyal.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reserved, Pessimistic, Sardonic, Secretive, Curious ( it will get her into trouble ), Awkward, Suspicious.

BIOGRAPHY: ( parental abandonment, mentions of drugs and alcohol. )

When you meet Riley Goldstein, a picturesque childhood in a picturesque suburbia in Virginia is not what you would expect and yet it was exactly what she had. Born on the cusp of summer and fall, Rachel and Christopher were over the moon to have their daughter, Riley Hayes, born on August 28, 2007. Finally, a child to complete the perfect family unit. Maybe they had hoped for a boy despite what science said ( hence the name Riley & a full name for a boy they had prepared ) but, they had a daughter and for the first ten years of her life they pampered her greatly. Trips to the coast every summer to visit his side of the family where Riley was praised for being such a pretty, good girl, and what seemed like infinite love from her father was doled out as long as she was what he wanted her to be. The younger girl was cooperative, it was in her nature it seemed, because she loved seeing her parents happy with each other. As long as Riley stayed within the lines, stayed within Christopher’s lines at least, everything would be well. Even when Riley started to develop a few habits and interests that were off the wall, he brushed them aside as childhood obsessions. Never could he accept his family for what they were which is exactly why he left.

The ugly truth was, Riley was an accident and the picture painted had been a lie – not that Riley knew until then. While she knew they had gotten married young she’d never known how much exactly her mother had given up to be with her father. Rachel Hayes had left her family, forsaken her religion ( as Christopher was a very religious Christian man ), the semi famous Goldstein Wizarding name, and moved down south into this suburbia all with the promise of a family. The biggest thing? Magic. When Christopher left a year before Riley entered school, Riley was forced to grow up and pick up the pieces of a broken lost woman who simply couldn’t find herself in the rubble that was the aftermath of her father leaving. But finding out she was an accident was the least of her worries. No matter how much poetry she wrote trying to figure out her mind, oftentimes thinking she was losing it, something within her was different, something within her felt different.

It took a few months to coax the why from her mother, and truly she was her caretaker. It wasn’t until her 10th birthday when she got the letter from Ilvermony that she realized what exactly was off. When she confronted her mother – her mother just poured everything out to her. Who Riley was, who her family was, what she was doing with her life before she met Christopher. At first, Riley couldn’t believe it – – she’d grown up hiding comics under her bed, hiding anything about the supernatural away. Even if her whole life she had felt a weird pull to these people who didn’t belong in her comics, these freaks, she never in her wildest dreams thought she’d have something concretely in common with them. It all made sense though, and finally the pieces of her life started to come together. Riley knew what she had to do, so at the age of 10, she went with her mother to Wizarding NYC to try to find out more. To try to find the family her mother left behind.

After that, everything fell into place – her family was beyond accepting, even if they gave her shit, more than she’d ever known from her dad’s family and her mom started to get better as she become more true to herself. The family reconciled, helping Riley and Rachel move into a flat in NYC, in Chinatown. Rachel got a job at the ministry as an assistant and with the help of some family members and Riley started to prepare for school Wizarding School. She’d never been more happy in her life. New York City was her home, more than her podunk shitty town ever had and she felt a freedom that made her wander the city. She felt a freedom to finally be herself. The only issue then? Riley wanted to go to a school far away from everything, because even if New York was her home, she needed to a break from being in the states. A break from all these people who knew who her family was & really, a place that was her own to find her own in the world. Sure, she had some family in the UK but there wasn’t the same pressure. Easily, she picked Hogwarts and was delighted when they accepted her no matter how far she was. Hufflepuff was the perfect house for her, even if she wasn’t the most conventional or stereotypical kind of one.

The thing was, the reminder of her father, the reminder that he was out there ruining more people’s lives, that he was out there spawning more children really intensely messed with Riley’s head. Why wasn’t she good enough for him to stay? Why couldn’t they have been enough? It was stupid, but the thoughts started to consume her and the lost feeling just got bigger. Picking up vices like smoking, smoking pot, drinking beer like she was her own father after a long day of work, anything to escape the feeling that she didn’t really have a place in this world. Not one she could see. What was she even going to do with her life after school? What did she have to offer the world? A loneliness she could not shake slept with her at night like any blanket did, every day felt like she was smothered. Every day there was a new realization that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life, and that she didn’t really have a place in the world. When the climate in the Wizarding World of England became a war zone, Riley wanted nothing to do with it but because of who she was – because of what her religion reminded her of – she couldn’t just stand idly by. Riley knew that even if she was Neutral, she would fight with Dumbledore’s Army or at least be an ally to them if need be.

CONNECTION TO JUDAISM:

Judaism was once a rarely talked about religion in the Hayes house, in fact, Riley knew barely anything about the religion at all. If she had realized it was taboo instead, it would’ve been something she would’ve dipped her mind into much earlier. The Hayes family were church goers, Sundays, Easter, Christmas, that was the religious practice they followed and had been since Rachel Hayes had forgone her roots in Judaism. Once she married & became Mrs. Christopher Hayes, she lost the part of her that made her her,that connected her to her family, all because of a pregnancy that was unplanned, and a marriage that needed to happen in result of it.

Once Christopher left, Riley dug up old numbers, old things, anything she could find that would bring her mother back to herself. Here, the woman gave so much of herself to her father and Riley felt she needed to get some of her back. Anything would do, anything at all. When Riley found an old Siddur, stuffed in the back of her mother’s side of the closet, she had a pretty good idea of a way to start.

It started with looking at temples in NYC when they finally moved. All the two did was walk around, taking in the city itself. Taking in the fact that there were even so many people in one place as opposed to small town Virginia where they lived. Taking in people coming back synagogue, the dress, and while it was painful at first for her mom, Rachel slowly started to explain to Riley different things, different details about Judaism. Soon, Riley and Rachel learned together and go at least once a month for Saturday evening services as well as for most High Holidays. From then on, the rest of the Goldstein family also invited them to family event after event, Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Hannukah gatherings.

Riley’s favorite Jewish holiday is Yom Kippur: the day of Atonement. While she knows she had absolutely no control over being born, she does feel she has a lot to atone for. A lot to cleanse from her soul. A lot of regrets, a lot of guilt for the things she’d done and the people she’s not been able to become. Like a failure, failing her family, failing their legacy. Her poetry may be fair game – it’s raw, it’s unforgiving and it’s brutal – to herself & to others. For being what she is, for being something else other than human and purposefully standing by while others cause havoc – she feels she needs to cleanse & atone for that. It’s the day that she for once feels clean, cleansed and not like the figure from Greek mythology: Atlas.

anything else

I once called her a Memelord Shitstain. I stand by that. It’s why it’s her label

If Lana Del Rey and Weird Al’ Yankovic did a duet, that would be Riley’s vibe. LOL.

Loves water. Dreams of water. Water is the best. Water would be her element if she had one in my opinion.

writes so much poetry and like 90 percent of it is shitty and tHATS THE TEA!!!!

riley is a virgo and i gave her this sign before i knew about astrology and it’s literally perfect for her

lbr is tumblr roleplaying is a thing in this rp ( META ) she’s in a marvel rp as we speak

depression/anxiety tw Riley has some friends but due to her own issues and her antisocial nature, often she’ll disappear for long periods of time, hiding in her dorm or little parts of the castle, only to come back with apologies and explanation ( excuses ) as to why she was away. Truthfully, Riley also suffers from MDD and GA, which have only gotten worse over the years despite her trying medication after medication along with therapy. Part of her has given up, missing multiple appts, forgetting to take her medication, while a part of her wants to get better but doesn’t ever know if she can.

Riley has a natural inclination towards legilimency, her first sign of magic was actually poking around someone’s mind in a grocery store and influencing them to get her the popsicles she wanted but it’s not a developed skill in the slightest and truthfully Riley doesn’t EVER want to go into it. It’s really not developed it’s just like a fun fact. a tidbit.

Knows she has quite the Legacy to live up to and while her family is fantastic, she can’t help but feel left out of a huge ass family that grew up together and knew each other. This is really based on just her own insecurities.

#iidyintro

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a-phantombones · 7 years

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I’m late with these intros but they’re all made with love. Here’s an intro for Riley Hayes-Goldstein! TRIGGERS: parental abandonment, mentions of drugs and alcohol.

MARGARET QUALLEY? No, that’s actually RILEY HAYES-GOLDSTEIN. About to begin SEVENTH YEAR, this HUFFLEPUFF student is sided with THE LIGHTNING INSURGENCY/THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as CIS FEMALE and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be PESSIMISTIC, RESERVED, and SARDONIC but also WITTY, INTELLIGENT, and MORALLY RESPONSIBLE.

“In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses.”

LIKES & INTERESTS: Cult Classics - Movies ( Heathers, Dead Poets Society, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous ), Blue raspberry Slushies, Donuts, Judaism, Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Smiths, the color blue, writing poetry, e. e. cummings, art museums, greek mythology, rmemes, olling joints on her favorite books, biblical mythology, astronomy, astrology ( she finds it very entertaining in a mocking way and would never admit there’s a small part of her that enjoys it ), Star Wars, black cats, black cats named Boggart, black nail polish, tattoos, carnivals, comic books, ferris wheels, puns, the sea, jellyfish, NPR every morning, going to the beach at twilight, 4 am drives, 5am runs, spliff.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Observant, Cooperative, Strategic, Witty, Intelligent, Resilient, Responsible.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reserved, Pessimistic, Sardonic, Secretive, Curious ( it will get her into trouble ), Awkward, Suspicious.

When you meet Riley Hayes, a picturesque childhood in a picturesque suburbia is not what you would expect and yet it was exactly what she had. Born on the cusp of summer and fall, Rachel and Christopher were over the moon to have their daughter born on August 28, 1999. Finally, a child to complete the perfect family unit. Maybe they had hoped for a boy despite what science said ( hence the name Riley & a full name for a boy they had prepared ) but, they had a daughter and for the first ten years of her life they pampered her greatly. Trips to the coast every summer to visit his side of the family where Riley was praised for being such a pretty, good girl, and what seemed like infinite love from her father was doled out as long as she was what he wanted her to be. The younger girl was cooperative, it was in her nature it seemed, because she loved seeing her parents happy with each other. As long as Riley stayed within the lines, stayed within Christopher’s lines at least, everything would be well. Even when Riley started to develop a few habits and interests that were off the wall, he brushed them aside as childhood obsessions. Never could he accept his family for what they were which is exactly why he left.

The ugly truth was, Riley was an accident and the picture painted had been a lie – not that Riley knew until then. While she knew they had gotten married young she’d never known how much exactly her mother had given up to be with her father. Rachel Hayes had left her family, forsaken her religion ( as Christopher was a very religious Christian man ), the semi famous Goldstein name, and moved across the country into this suburbia all with the promise of a family. The biggest thing? Magic. When Christopher left a year before Riley entered Hogwarts school, Riley was forced to grow up and pick up the pieces of a broken lost woman who simply couldn’t find herself in the rubble that was the aftermath of her father leaving. But finding out she was an accident was the least of her worries. No matter how much poetry she wrote trying to figure out her mind, oftentimes thinking she was losing it, something within her was different, something within her felt different.

It took a few months to coax the why from her mother, and truly she was her caretaker. It wasn’t until her 11th birthday when she got the letter from Ilvermony that she realized what exactly was off. When she confronted her mother – her mother just poured everything out to her. Who Riley was, who her family was, what she was doing with her life before she met Christopher. At first, Riley couldn’t believe it – – she’d grown up hiding comics under her bed, hiding anything about the supernatural away. Even if her whole life she had felt a weird pull to these people who didn’t belong in her comics, these freaks, she never in her wildest dreams thought she was one. It all made sense though, and finally the pieces of her life started to come together. Riley knew what she had to do, so at the age of 11, she went with her mother to Wizarding NYC to try to find out more. To try to find the family her mother left behind.

After that, everything fell into place – her family was beyond accepting, even if they gave her shit, more than she’d ever knew and her mom started to get better as she become more true to herself. The family reconciled, helping Riley and Rachel move into a flat in NYC, in Chinatown. Rachel got a job at the ministry as an assistant and with the help of some family members and Riley started to prepare for school Wizarding School. She’d never been more happy in her life. New York City was her home, more than her podunk shitty town ever had, and she felt a freedom that made her wander the city, she felt a freedom to finally be herself. The only issue then? Riley wanted to go to a school far away from everything, because even if New York was her home, she needed to a break from being in the states. A break from all these people who knew who her family was & really, a place that was her own to find her own place in the world. Easily, she picked Hogwarts and was delighted when they accepted her no matter how far she was.

For years, she pushed away a lot of the pain she felt – she figured her pain was her own, it was selfish of her to dwell on it or even think about it when she had this new fantastic life. Only in her poetry would she divulge her feelings, only her poetry knew that she felt inexplicably lost in the world the more she saw it. Before Riley was to turn 14, a boy, who claimed to be her brother showed up on her doorstep. Not soon after, her father was there looking for him. Rachel and Riley didn’t know how to process this all but one thing they knew was that they couldn’t let Ellis go back to him. Go back to his horrible environment. Seeing as Ellis was of legal age – they kicked Christopher’s ass out the door and though he tried to put up a fight, they were finally a family, Ellis included, and they fought harder. It was then that Riley wanted to distance herself from her father even more, fiercely signing and writing her last name as Hayes-Goldstein or just Goldstein when she could get away with it.

The thing was, the reminder of her father, the reminder that he was out there ruining more people’s lives, that he was out there spawning more children really intensely messed with Riley’s head. Why wasn’t she good enough for him to stay? Why couldn’t they have been enough? It was stupid, but the thoughts started to consume her and the lost feeling just got bigger. Picking up vices like smoking, smoking pot, drinking beer like she was her own father after a long day of work, anything to escape the feeling that she didn’t really have a place in this world. Not one she could see. A loneliness she could not shake slept with her at night like any blanket did, every day felt like she was smothered. Every day there was a new realization that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life, and that she didn’t really have a place in the world. When Kingsley Shacklebolt was murdered and the climate in the Wizarding World of England became a developing war zone, Riley wanted nothing to do with it but because of who she was -- because of what her religion reminded of her -- she couldn’t just stand idly by. Riley knew that even if she was Neutral, she would fight with her friends if need be, and give information to the Lightining Insurgency because it was the right thing to do.

RILEY & JUDAISM:

It started with looking at temples. The first month, Riley’s mom drove into Bethesda, Maryland. All the two did was walk around, taking in the city itself. Taking in the fact that there were even so many people in one place as opposed to nasty Bellbrook, Virginia where they lived. Taking in people coming back synagogue, the dress, and while it was painful at first for her mom, Rachel slowly started to explain to Riley different things, different details about Judaism. Soon, Riley and Rachel learned together and go at least once a month for Saturday evening services as well as for most High Holidays.

Riley’s favorite Jewish holiday is Yom Kippur: the day of Atonement. While she knows she had absolutely no control over being born, she does feel she has a lot to atone for. A lot to cleanse from her soul. Her poetry may be fair game – it’s raw, it’s unforgiving and it’s brutal – to herself & to others. For being what she is, for being something else other than human and purposefully standing by while others cause havoc – she feels she needs to cleanse & atone for that. It’s the day that she for once feels clean, cleansed and not like the figure from Greek mythology: Atlas.

ADDITIONAL INFO:

I once called her a Memelord Shitstain. I stand by that.

If Lana Del Rey and Weird Al’ Yankovic did a duet, that would be Riley’s vibe. LOL.

Never learned how to swim really but often dreams of water and loves water a lot.

Has four and half friends, two are NPCs, one of them being her half brother, Ellis and her childhood friend Ethan. The other two are Isa Potter and Gage Hamilton. Though, Riley is open to more friends OKAY PLS she’s just bad with them

Riley has a natural inclination towards legilimency, her first sign of magic was actually poking around someone’s mind in a grocery store and influencing them to eat a random frozen meal on accident but it’s not a developed skill in the slightest and truthfully Riley doesn’t EVER want to go into it. It’s really not developed it’s just like a fun fact.

A PLAYLIST FOR RILEY:

How Far I’ll Go ( cover ) by Alessia Cara

Miss America by Ingrid Michaelson

If I Believe You by The 1975

We Exist by Arcade Fire

Fake You Out by Twenty One Pilots

Here by Alessia Cara

Young God by Halsey

What’s Up? by 4 Non Blondes

Stay Awake by London Grammar

Change - Lana Del Rey

#ghostsintro #( intro. )#( about: riley hayes. )#i have so many more but progress u know

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imaginaryelle · 7 years

Text

ME Andromeda Meta: Lazy Writing in Kadara

I was reading a post that brought up some good points about Sloane and Reyes and the Kadara questline earlier (mostly its highly questionable uses of POC stereotypes and tropes, and especially its treatment of women of color), and I started responding but realized this was just way too long to add on. (This is very long, you’ve been warned)

I want to start this by saying that I like Reyes. I like Sloane too. I want to see everyone’s interpretations of them both. As characters, they are probably the most intrinsically interesting people to come out of Andromeda for me, aside from possibly Drack. But. The writing of the game does not serve either of them well, and fandom (any fandom) has a definite tendency to simplify complex characters down to one or two easily-digestible traits. That’s not a deal breaker for me; I’m happy to read fic about them and admire art and encourage creators to write and draw and edit from now until the end of time (unless it’s character bashing. I’m not cool with cutting characters down to ONLY negative traits, see: Sloane, Liam, Jill).

There’s an argument to be made here that this fandom is very young yet, and complexity will increase as creators feel more comfortable and at home with the characters, too, especially as we all stop feeling like we have to defend the fact that we like the game. I’ve seen some of that change happening already, and I’m really happy about it because I have high hopes for people remembering/realizing that it is possible to enjoy something and still allow it to be flawed, that criticism is not the same as hate (and vice-versa), or even just recognizing that other people’s criticism of a thing is not a threat to your own enjoyment it. Make all the AU timelines, flesh out new details and headcanons, tweak the storyline until you’re happy, or at least until you can live with it. It’s your sandbox, go play. I personally have a goal, with my own writing, to add to the complexity of the world presented in Andromeda, to make it make sense within itself and be more than what Bioware gave us, and that means that I have trouble approaching any of the characters without fully considering their characterization, their role in the game, and the out-of-game influences that can be seen in their portrayal. (This is why I have trouble just writing straight fluff, even when I want to.) For a lot of characters, this all comes together fairly smoothly. I write Gil because his story is one that doesn’t work very well without headcanons and expansion, and I haven’t yet written Reyes or Sloane because there is just a ton to process there.

Reyes and Sloane, the Nexus leadership, Kadara and the Initiative, the Krogan, the Angara, etc., are all presented with very simplistic choices attached in-game. Sometimes those choices are extremely frustrating to me, because there are a LOT of potential problems in there, but what happens in Kadara is some of the worst of it, in my opinion. And watching fandom react to it mostly makes me feel my age, because when I was 20, and especially when I was 15 and just getting into fandom, I probably would have been a lot closer to what seems to be the general fandom consensus: Kadara is cool and Reyes can be a sweetheart and Sloane is a bitch. But that was 10-15 years ago for me, and that more-than-a-decade gave me access to a lot of education and observation and life experience. And most of what that experience has taught me is that no form of media is created in a vacuum, and to take in my media a little more critically, and what I can see of the impulses and biases that influenced Kadara’s creation, and then, by proxy, fandom’s reception of it, are terrible. They’re insidious to mainstream Western (and especially North American) culture, and their effects are far reaching. And I’m not saying that Bioware is inherently terrible (though I do think they were incredibly lazy about this), or that fans who love that simpler interpretation are terrible. You see Kadara and Reyes and Sloane’s stories differently? That’s great. Play with that. Create your stuff. I’ll be happy to see it and to cheer you on and we can talk about it if you want to. There’s an important distinction here: I don’t hate anyone for any of this, I just think it’s important to recognize what happened here. Okay? Okay. Here we go.

What’s so bad about Kadara?

Part of me loves Kadara. Part of me’s with Jaal on hating it. Either way, Kadara, for me, is the most poorly written part of the entire game. It makes no sense, there’s no internal logic, it’s just a thrown-together jumble of people-are-terrible-when-they’re-desparate, pirates-are-still-cool-right and shock-value-masturbation. Sloane and Reyes both get shortchanged by the writing and the plot, but the game absolutely steers the player toward favoring Reyes at Sloane’s expense. So let’s explore some of that, shall we?

First-up: General Design and Presentation.

Visually, Kadara port is populated by a thin veneer of space-pirates-are-cool over racism, classism, and possibly homophobia. Like, I’m not going to say that neon-colored hair is inherently gay culture, but it definitely influenced my impression that no one on Kadara was straight. Everyone there has been otherized as much as possible within the game’s constraints:

-They have bright, non-natural-colored hair.

-They have scars and facial tattoos. One man has lost an eye. Sloane has heterochromia, a visual distinction that is not available to Ryder and which only appears in one other place in the game (the representative of the hydroponics protesters who actually has lines, and who also has neon hair and facial tattoos. Are you seeing a pattern here?)

-A huge majority of the humans with speaking roles are POC.

-They have completely different armor, even though there’s no reason for it to exist because they should mostly have started with initiative supplies. They mostly wear darker colors, and they certainly never wear white and blue (because white and blue are, after all, the initiative’s colors: purity and honesty/trust/responsibility in Western color theory).

-The landscape in the port is very jagged, things piled together for function rather than planned aesthetic, because they have to make use of what they have and don’t have the luxury of designing something classically beautiful even though the angara and then the kett were living there before, wtf is this bioware? I mean, I enjoy chunky neon as an aesthetic, but really?

-Every member of the Outcasts brooks no compromise in an in-your-face way that generally is presented as uncultured thuggery. Even the asari and salarians speak more harshly.

Just think about that for a moment. Compare it to the visual of the Nexus, with its smooth rounded lines, its white and chrome and blue, its chill conversations about strawberries and bureaucratic power struggles, mostly had by predominately white people with natural-color-hair and no scars or tattoos, who are incredibly secure in the idea that they don’t really have to worry because someone else will ultimately take care of the biggest problems. (That someone else being the POC and POC-coded techs in engineering and the Pathfinder.) The Nexus is the epitome of a high-tech white collar office in space, and I kind of hate it every time I have to go back. The first time I wandered around Kadara, I spent some time going “oh, so this is where all the cool and interesting people ended up!” and determining that my Ryder (and, honestly, myself) would probably have ended up there if they’d been awake at the time of the Uprising, because hey, cool hair, people who are tired of the establishment’s bullshit and gatekeeping (because the Initiative is absolutely the establishment in this scenario), making their way with whatever’s at hand, this is my zone!

And that is so many levels of fucked up??

Kadara under the Outcasts is quite literally painted and populated with examples of non-white, non-wealthy, non-straight visual culture and they’re the bad guys?? What kind of lazy excuse for world building is this?

Then, on top of all that, we have the Outcast Leadership. Sloane’s power is very obviously painted as an overbearing warlord dictatorship:

-She charges protection fees even though credits should have no meaning in the exiles’ lives when labor, skilled craftsmanship, water and food are at a premium and serving the community with labor/resources would make about 1000 times more sense.

-Her representatives beat people in the streets for not being able to pay those fees (again, where? exactly?? is anyone getting money from??? what do they even want it for????), or exile them into a hellscape where not only is the water on fire but people (not wildlife! people!) will literally eat you.

-She encourages and promotes the use of a highly addictive drug that…. makes it harder… for people to pay protection fees? What?

-She is a conqueror who kicked the Angara out of their own port for… who knows? What reason? I mean what logic does it take to exile the people who make the water filters from your own group of exiles who need clean water?

-There’s even a datapad out in the badlands that indicates she’s encouraging people to go out and settle because “no one owns that land, free land!” even though the angara are obviously there. Like, good job shifting the imperialist colonist theme onto the “bad guys” bioware, sheesh. The initiative doesn’t exactly have a drastically different plan to start with. (and I’m not going to talk about the nexus quest smallpox reference here. there are some things that just. goddammit)

-She holds public executions. Of kett, mostly, and of the angara who betrayed the Moshae, because that’s what the local angara say they want. Public executions, in current cultural context, are the tool of terrorist groups and authoritarian regimes. There is no “good” cultural association to be had there.

And on top of all that, they made Sloane a black woman. They made this totally illogical, drug-peddling, domineering villain figure who is openly critical of the player character a black woman with two different colored eyes and a big scar on her face. Again, how lazy can you be, bioware? Was even a moment spent examining your work for racist bias?

So yeah. Some pretty messed up stuff, right? Well, now for the good part.

This all then influences the PLOT:

There are a lot of good points to be made about the plot’s depiction of women and the ways it restricts Ryder. That’s not really what I’m writing about, but I do think it’s important to acknowledge that this story repeatedly requires Ryder to side with Reyes and commit violence against women, and especially women of color, before you ever get to High Noon. What I’m writing is mostly about the ways the plot steers player perception.

In addition to a surface combination of Zevran’s flirt approach and Dorian’s general looks, drinking, and sense of A PAST, Reyes is the focal point of all but one main-plot missions on the planet. He is presented as a friend through contacts Ryder is already on good terms with (the Angaran Resistance), and helping him is EXPLICITLY listed as something Ryder needs to do to get a settlement going. He’s witty, jovial, flirts only as much as Ryder flirts back, and asks for Ryder’s help. He is presented as someone who, while capable, needs assistance, and he’s openly thankful for and appreciative of services rendered.

Sloane, meanwhile, in addition to all the baggage from above, is presented as an obstacle. She stands in the way of Ryder getting what they want, whether it’s Vehn Terev or a settlement on the planet. Ryder becomes the supplicant, and no one likes being a supplicant, folks.

So that’s point #1 for plot: Reyes gives Ryder the opportunity to do something, to make progress toward a goal, while Sloane is a roadblock. There is no sense that Sloane is even open to negotiating for a settlement at this point.

Now, in the course of Ryder making progress on those quests the plot so helpfully provides (even SAM will say “perhaps we should check in with Mr. Vidal, Pathfinder” after you complete a step), Ryder is sent through several parts of Kadara that do not do anything good for Sloane’s image, but benefit Reyes.

-The Charlatan is feeding people in the slums after Sloane kicked them out. For free.

-The aforementioned cannibalism is discovered via a protection-fee-related quest (on the map it’s not very far from the end of one of Reyes’ quests. Also see: people-are-terrible-when-desperate)

-Aforementioned land-grab policy datapad is available in the angaran settlement just off a main road. (another tick-mark for people-are-terrible-when-desperate, woo for pointless revenge murders)

-In the course of helping Dr. Nakamura, (another explicit quest step) Ryder learns Sloane is making Oblivion on purpose, and that Kaetus has sent a message indicating a distinct lack of care about the addiction rate or health of people who are addicted. (people are terrible?)

-Sloane apparently doesn’t even try to protect her wind-energy supply?

-Reyes helps fight the Roekaar, working as an on-the-ground partner to Ryder in a mission Ryder is invested in because of pre-Kadara content. In the process, they kill the group’s female angaran leader.

-Reyes is personally ambushed by a bunch of other smugglers (led by his WOC ex-girlfriend/drinking partner, whose involvement, as others have pointed out, really wasn’t necessary to the plot and just means Ryder is Killing The Competition). This serves four purposes: it presents Reyes explicitly bisexual/biromantic if Ryder is male, presents him as a possible victim to attack, makes Ryder kill a second woman who attacks Reyes, and gives Reyes some vague fridging-related manpain with his lines about making sure she’s buried properly because “she doesn’t deserve this”

-Collective representatives with lines will say that the Charlatan is more in favor of the Nexus and the Pathfinder than against them. Sloane is vocally anti-Nexus.

-Reyes gets you into a party Sloane didn’t want you at, steals some liquor, gets an Impulse Distraction Kiss and has Sad Backstory Conversation bonding + Drunk Kissing on a rooftop at sunset. (There are probably official TV Tropes names for these things but whatever)←this mission, just as a note, is NOT required by the plot, but it IS highly likely most Ryders will do it. Bioware gave it a vidcall invitation and everything, and it’s really the only chance Ryder has to just hang out and be goofy at a party in the whole game.

-Sloane glares at the Pathfinder for sitting in her chair (seems totally reasonable? I don’t like other people sitting in my computer chair, I don’t know about you guys) and is implied to have physically removed them without ever saying a word.

Things that require a bit more fancy driving and digging into things and are unlikely to be found if you’re just doing the main plot, and may not be discovered at all:

-A room literally covered in blood from Collective forces torturing an Outcast for information

-A Collective base with cells and prisoners, where people are also being tortured for information.

AND THEN:

Sloane demands Ryder’s help hunting down the kett. Not even in person. Through Kaetus. This is a direct threat to her power if it got out, supposedly (because no one on Kadara except Reyes has ever heard of spin coverage, I guess?), but she’s not going to ask, she’s going to hold the need for a settlement over Ryder. And the game literally makes it impossible to refuse. Ryder has to do it. Or at least, Ryder has to do the annoying tracking part. Sloane is totally capable of showing up and killing kett and being condescending once the time-consuming part’s done. You know what people hate even more than being the supplicant? Having that supplicant status lorded over them for annoying favors.

So, for point #2: In sum, by the time High Noon happens, the player has very definitely been primed to think:

-Reyes is Ryder’s friend, if not romantic partner

-Sloane is a very bad person who is mean to Ryder.

AND, point #3: Ryder has already killed two women who tried to attack Reyes.

The choice then, in whether or not to save Sloane, is a heavily weighted one, and it’s important to note that that is what the choice is, too. It’s not a choice of one or the other, because it’s impossible to kill Reyes even if you want to, but Sloane goes down, with no resistance, to one bullet in a gutshot. The same gutshot from Ryder barely slows Reyes down in his escape. And that’s because Kadara’s story was never about Sloane. She is expendable for the narrative. If she wasn’t, she might have been actually allowed some subtlety or logical consistency. More screentime, at the very least. But she wasn’t. The plot was always about Reyes. That’s why you get the emotional high of a romance scene with him right then and there if you want it, even though it should be totally strange to have sex right next to a place where you just watched someone die. Right? We’re not pretending that’s normal, are we? (please, writers, go AU on that location unless your Ryder is actually into that or something)

It’s entirely possible to read Reyes as not knowing about some of the darker things his people did in his service if the player desires, if the player even know about those things. It’s also completely possible to read Reyes as being genuine in his interactions with Ryder. Maybe he is. Maybe he isn’t. Maybe he’s playing puppet master on everyone, including Ryder. We don’t know. The story makes him easy to love, if that’s what you want. But Sloane does not have the luxury of that interpretation leeway. The narrative has explicitly painted her as the villain here, even though none of her actions make logical sense. She exists to be Reyes’ opponent. It’s lazy as hell, but that’s what it is. She is barely even a character, as far as the game is concerned. Reyes’ storyline can only exist in opposition to something terrible enough that people will take any way out, and Sloane became that thing to suit the story. It has nothing to do with her actual character as seen in the Uprising, and everything to do with her function as a plot device. As far as the story is concerned she never had any real power. She was always going to fall. This imbalance is exemplified in the fact that Reyes is there with a crew of followers, and Sloane has no allies except possibly the pathfinder (whose good opinion Reyes has explicitly courted) because Reyes has quite systematically removed or stolen them (Ryder can even remark on that). He goes as far, in the end, as having Kaetus beaten half to death and using a sniper in what he frames as a duel. He has defeated her on every possible front except her life. And after everything he and Ryder have done, both together and separately, the narrative pull to just let Sloane die is enormous. The story has not presented any compelling reasons for Ryder to like her, and has handed over whole handfuls of reasons to at minimum engender apathy towards her if not active dislike. Her death completes the story pattern, and allows for new beginnings and change to move in. The player has to struggle against a life-time’s worth of story-consumption to break that pattern.

Some people get there because they see the sniper move as grossly unfair, or because they’re pissed Reyes lied to Ryder so much. Some people came to the game already loving Sloane (and from what I hear, she’s an extremely relateable character in Nexus Uprising). Some people think Reyes is a slimy manipulating jerkwad. But however they get there, the most infuriating part is that those players don’t even get rewarded for that struggle. There is no sense of completion or closure, because the story wasn’t designed to let Sloane live. Instead you just get a holding pattern, and the certain knowledge that Reyes will be back, because someone, somewhere, is working on the next act in his play. And even if you do let Sloane die but want to tell Reyes you don’t approve of him or his methods, the one comment Ryder is allowed to make only results in Reyes calling them a dick. There is no emotional narrative payoff for disliking Reyes, whatsoever. So then you probably get a pretty fair number of people who go “Well, that was unsatisfying, I guess I’ll just decide I don’t like Sloane and hate her more intensely because that will make things work properly.” And the fact that the narrative supports that, that the willful death of a woman (a woman of color!) who had power in favor of a man we’ve just learned lied to us, is the end goal of this plot, is an objectively terrible thing and makes the entire Karada arc an example of some of the worst habits in modern mainstream storytelling.

So, again. I like Reyes, and I like Sloane. I’m happy to cheer everyone on in their support and interpretation of either of them, or both, or neither. But when you create your own stories, I hope you pay attention to what you’re doing. Recognize your own biases, your own laziness, and try not to let yourself do what bioware did here. Give your worlds a sense of internal logic that doesn’t depend on stereotypes and knee-jerk prejudices. Let your characters be people instead of plot devices. Let them have flaws and charm, dark traits and redeeming features, no matter what role they fill in your story. Don’t stack everything one way. It’s not easy. I’ve been working on it for years and probably still have a long ways to go. But it’s important if we want the world to change.

#me a spoilers #andromeda meta #kadara politics #text post #long post

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darylxjesus · 7 years

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What do you think about other points that have been made about d/sus? "Paul's personality is erased to fit the ship". (I have noticed sometimes it is erased in order to fit a heteronormative mindset that needs to establish a "woman" and a "man". Nothing wrong with femininity but Paul isn't feminine.) "It is a ship about worshipping Daryl". (I have seen the majority of the talk revolve around Paul making Daryl feel good. Daryl making Paul feel good isn't discussed as much for whatever reason.)

While I completely understand the concerns here, I don’t think the ship is guilty of doing either of these things—at least not consciously or in a coordinated effort. I’m sure there could be a few outliers who have done so in the past, but as a whole I haven’t seen anyone blatantly disregarding Paul’s personality or his perspective in the relationship. I do understand why it may seem that way, though. This is simply because a) Paul hasn’t had that much screentime and b) we know Daryl far more intimately than we do Paul.

More under the cut:

It’s hard to say Paul’s personality has been erased when it’s still being presented to the audience. Not all viewers have read the comics or know Paul’s character traits from them, so many fans—if not most—have been speculating and extrapolating using personal headcanons based on his characterization in the show thus far. We’ve learned more about him this season, but for a while fans only had a few moments in the back-half of season 6 to work from. In 610, Jesus was introduced as mischievous, clever, charming, elusive, and physically dangerous. In 611, we start seeing his diplomatic skills and kindness. Those traits are expanded upon briefly in subsequent episodes (Jesus risking his life at the outpost and talking to Tara in the car with Father Gabriel comes to mind), but it’s not until 705 that we see Paul’s altruism and good heart more deeply. We also learn he’s a bit of a loner who doesn’t stay at Hilltop for long periods of time, that he’s just trying to help and doesn’t like being a leader, and that he’s seriously skilled in martial arts. All of this added another layer to his character.

Unlike Daryl, however, we do not know anything about Jesus’ past or who he was before the turn and we haven’t seen his character develop extensively. We’ve never learned about his past in the comics either, so a lot about Paul is a big question mark in general. I don’t think anyone is ignoring what we do know, though; most fans I’ve seen have characterized him as a genuinely kind-hearted, intelligent person with fucking badass ninja skills and a puckish, witty sense of humor…who also happens to be gay.

As far as Paul being presented as ‘feminine’—I don’t think that’s a fair assessment. One can certainly argue that certain skills or personality traits are coded as ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine,’ but that’s more of a larger social issue, not a Walking Dead one. Badass fighting skills are not reserved to men, although those characteristics are certainly stereotyped as masculine. Affection and gentleness are often considered ‘feminine’ attributes, but those qualities are not exclusive to women. Paul is an interesting character because he has a combination of traits that could fall in both ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ coded territories. That doesn’t mean he’s any less or more of a “man” than other male characters. It’s just who he is.

Now, if the “femininity” argument stems from Tom’s physicality, I can see why some fans may have projected more ‘feminine’ personality stereotypes onto Paul over Daryl since he’s the shorter, smaller, “pretty one.” I personally have not seen this being done so I cannot attest to that, but just because we depict Jesus physically as he is—smaller, shorter, long hair, big eyes—doesn’t mean we’re feminizing him. That also implies that to be truly ‘masculine’ one cannot have those attributes. Tom is beautiful (inside and out), don’t get me wrong, but his appearance doesn’t change how badass Jesus is or how quote-unquote ‘masculine’ he’s supposed to be. I think it’s refreshing that Jesus isn’t the tallest, biggest guy on earth, but he’s still capable and deadly. At the end of the day, I think the issue stems from how we as viewers and as individuals assess masculinity and femininity in general. As you said, there’s nothing wrong with being feminine. There’s nothing wrong with being masculine either. But the definition of both of those terms sits on a spectrum for many, and it’s unfortunate that certain traits are deemed ‘manly’ or ‘womanly’ even when there’s no need to assign a gender to them. So if you mean Jesus isn’t ‘feminine’ because he’s a physical badass then I don’t know if I agree with you. Tell that to Michonne or to Maggie. He’s just a badass. No need to add gender stereotypes to that. He is who he is, nothing more or less.

Similarly, I think the reason why some discussion has focused on why Jesus would be good for Daryl and not vice versa is because we simply know Daryl far better than we know Jesus. As viewers, we can confidently maintain what would be good for Daryl to heal, grow, and be happy because we heard about his past, because we’ve seen him suffer countless times, because we’ve experienced his character develop over seasons. Yet, despite this, I have seen many fans talk about why Daryl would be good for Jesus based on what we know so far. Here are some:

As noted earlier, Jesus is a loner. Before Maggie, Sasha, and the rest of TF, he didn’t have anyone he could consider his family. Daryl also struggled with finding his place and is still a loner in many respects even though he’s found many individuals who love him. They seem to be similar in their independence, and that shared experience may make Daryl someone Paul can identify with on a deeper, more personal level than others.

In addition to his lack of close relationships, Jesus doesn’t seem to have a net of people watching his back and caring for him—both physically and mentally. He’s the one out risking his life to find supplies, make deals, and keep the community safe, yet he rarely (at least in what we’ve seen) receives that care in return. Even though Daryl can be rough around the edges, we know he’s a good person and would risk his life and more to protect the people he loves. Daryl would be a selfless partner and would do anything to keep Paul safe and loved.

While a bit emotionally stunted, Daryl has a tender heart and is immensely loyal. If they were to be romantically involved, Daryl would love Paul forever, unequivocally and unconditionally, no questions asked.

Even some of Daryl’s less admirable personality traits seem to have intrigued Paul. In 610 Paul responds to Daryl’s standoffishness and hostility with curious eye lingers, banter, and amused chuckles. If we take Tom’s word to be true, Paul was awake in the car and enjoyed falling on Daryl. That could be interpreted as potential attraction and/or that he liked toying with him, but either way I think Paul just likes Daryl—redneck gruffness and all.

Those are just a few. Overall, Daryl is the type of person that could both support and love Paul for who he is—not just his Jesus persona—and also push him out of his comfort zone to grow and develop. In my opinion, the reason why Desus has the potential to work well is that both their similarities and their differences seem to complement one another. I truly think both parties have the personality traits and experiences that would make the other one feel happy, loved, safe, and healthy.

#desus #daryl x jesus #darus #paul rovia #meta #jesus rovia #Anonymous #this got so long sorry

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vermiculus-incipiens · 5 years

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OOC INFORMATION:

Name: Thaly

Pronouns: She/Her

Time zone: CLT (Chilean Standard Time)

IC INFORMATION:

Character: Marlene McKinnon.

HOBBIES/PASTIMES: Drawing. Marlene finds an unexpected peace of mind in drawing since she was a little girl. She’s actually very good at it, even though she doesn’t show her drawings to others unless they know her very well. Reading. In this sense, she’s the stereotypical Ravenclaw. Marlene loves to read, especially works of fiction and books about history. She’s absolutely obsessed with the muggle fantasy genre, with Tolkien being her favorite author ever since she was a little girl. She actually collects Tolkien book editions, so yes, she had plenty of different versions of the same book around her house.

SHIPS/ ANTI-SHIPS: While Blackinnon is always in my heart, I think it’s been proven that, when built correctly, I can actually work with some unexpected ships. I don’t like Dorlene though.

BOGGART: Marlene’s biggest fear used to be her own depression, but after recent experiences throughout the war, her fear of the dark, which has always been there, has become stronger and stronger, especially after her experience being kidnapped in a basement. The notion of darkness itself does not terrify her, but the possibility of what might lurk in it. Her boggart takes form of a black, thick cloud of fog that engulfs her.

BIGGEST PET PEEVE: People who fold the pages of books. Don’t do that, you nasty. Books need to be handled with respect. People with bad grammar or spelling out of pure ignorance. Like, if there is some learning, speaking or writing disability involved, she absolutely understands, but people who just don’t know how to make a proper use of language simply get on her nerves. People who walks slow in narrow spaces, forcing everyone behind them to move slow as well. It’s just rude.

ECCENTRICITIES: Having lived in the south of England for many years, Marlene usually is able to hold back her Scottish accent. Until she gets terribly upset or excited. When that happens, she goes full scottie on people. Marlene has a bit of a clothes problem. Meaning that she has way too many clothes and shoes, way too many for her closet. She’s made numerous expanding spells on her closet, but it’s quite possible it will not take yet another one. And she keeps buying more clothes! She worked as a muggle model for a couple of summers as a teen to make some extra money (probably to buy more book and clothes)

FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT: For Marley, it would be hard to pick just one. She loves a good challenge, she loves to expand her mind, and she loves to find out new things. Defense against the Dark Arts, Divination, History of Magic, Transformation and Charms were her top five. She can’t narrow the list form there.

TIME OF THE DAY AND TIME OF THE YEAR: Her favorite time of the day is definitely the early morning, when the sun is already bright and up, but most people are still asleep and the world is quiet and new. She loves dusk too, as cheesy at it might sound. Watching the sun play with the clouds as it sets, naming the different colors in the sky, the strange lilac light that lingers right after the sun has gone down but dark has not crept in yet, it reminds her of how magnificent the world can be. Her favorite time of the year is definitely summer. Actually Marlene is fine with any season except winter. She hates winter, even though she likes the snow. Her depression is strongly triggered during winter more than during any other season. Ironically, her favorite holiday is New Year’s Eve. The excitement, the emotional sense of the night, the euphoria experimented when the clock strikes midnight and for a second both the old year and the New Year are one makes her heart beat race. Besides, New Year always brings hope that this time, things will be different. This time, things will be better.

PATRONUS: Marlene’s patronous is a raccoon. Raccoons represent curiosity, secrecy, and adaptability. Raccoon people have a tendency to be defensive, on-guard-ambiguous and aloof. They can also be charismatic, involved and unpredictable. It’s integrated with the idea of having a “mask” for any situation. It is a symbol of disguise, transformation and open-mindness. *(Information from: http://www.quotev.com/story/3671161/Patronuses-and-Meanings/1 ) I think a raccoon patronous represents both sides of who is Marlene McKinnon. On one side we have this resourceful and charismatic woman that will go to any means to stand up for what she wants and to protect those she loves. She’s intelligent, and I think that in order to be intelligent you first need to have a big sense of curiosity so as to search for knowledge. On the other side, Marlene has an entire secret side that involves her depression (hence the defensive, on guard and ambiguous part). I especially feel she connects with the “mask” idea, since you could say Marlene hides her true demons behind a mask of joy when it best suits her.

VICE: Due to her depressive tendencies, Marlene is desperate to find something that will numb her feelings. Due to this, she had fallen into two vices she absolutely hates herself for: drinking and working. Her work-a-holicness is well known by everyone who knows her, but her problem with alcohol is a dirty little secret she’s desperate to keep to herself. However, those that are closest to her suspect that something is going on, since at parties she always seems to get unusually drunk. Marlene also has a strange habit of digging her forefinger nails on the skin around her thumbs’ nails when she’s anxious. She does it unconsciously. Sometimes she scratches so hard that she makes her thumbs bleed. Because of this, she normally wears band-aids around her thumbs. The band-aids also keep her from hurting herself further.

EXTROVERT: Marlene is definitely an out-going sort of person. She grew up in a large family so she’s used to the crowds from a very young age. In fact, is loneliness that she can’t handle. Give her any social situation and she’ll handle it easily. She’s friendly, out-spoken, loud, funny, witty. She has a way of winning people’s heart when she wants to. Besides, she’s not afraid of giving a piece of her mind to the world, there’s a reason God gave her a voice after all. She’s loyal to those she loves, kind to those who need it, fierce to those who dare harm her or her loved ones. Marlene does not fear the world…she fears the lack of it.

DIET: Marlene is not a vegetarian, but she seldom eats meat (thought she can’t resist a good barbecue). She’s noted for having a sweet tooth for nearly everything, from cakes to candy (Honeydukes will always be her biggest blessing and curse) She doesn’t eat ovine meat, under no circumstances. When she was six years old she had a pet lamb. It was nasty shock when she found out her uncle had roasted it in a fire some months later. Her favorite food? Almost anything sweet, but she does have a weak spot for acid candy. And don’t even get her started with strawberries dipped in chocolate.

CANONS: I have quite a few in mind, so I’ll just make a list if that’s okay: Marlene grew up in a big house in the countryside, so she’s used to animals and nature in general. Her family owned horses, sheep, chickens, ducks, pigs, dogs, cats, nearly any sort of creature you’d expect to find in a farm. There’s a pond near her house where all the McKinnon cousins go for a swim in the summer. One of Marley’s favorite thing to do is drive at maximum speed down empty streets at midnight while listening to both magical and muggle rock music. She prefers muggle music over wizarding one any time. She has a blue teddy bear named Bleu (because she was such an original little girl) that she sleeps with up to this day.

#Accepted #VIAccepted #Closed Character #Marlene McKinnon

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mojput-mypath · 6 years

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WHEN WILL YOU BE HAPPY ??? KADA ĆEŠ BITI SRETAN/NA

********HRVATSKA VERZIJA NIŽE********

********CROATIAN BELOW********

- SCROLL THROUGH FOR MORE PICS -

MIDDLE - CENTRE - COLUMN

In the end, what is it you need to be completely satisfied and happy?

For me, this comes from a complete dedication to this what I do, in every single moment. Is it really important what exactly it is, this what we do? As long as everything I do, I do with a 100% dedication, that is when I feel absolutely full to the brim. Whenever I resist or struggle, whenever I do not want something or do not feel like doing it – even the simplest tasks become a great effort.

How much courage and will is needed to fell responsible for the state of your mind, and your energy? Until when is is needed for us to gift our strength and power to others, making them the main responsible ones for how we feel and what happens in our lives?

The other side as well. Until when shall we resist reality as is happening? Until when shall we not accept how things truly are? Hoping and wishing to have it in another way, missing out on billions on present moments?

Either we are too passive, seemingly comfortable, that leads us into lethargy and depression, or too active, taking us onto the path of feeling all is on us, and there is never enough rest.

In every single moment of awareness, coming back to ourselves. What happened, happened, we did our best. That is all!

There you go, I just solved everyone’s life problems. Piece of cake.

BEGINNING OF THE END OF MISERY?

Let us begin like I like to begin the most, from the beginning. Or from the last thing I shared. Ashram life. To stay or to go? I am absolutely fascinated with the process of the decision-making and all that it brought along. Various teams offered me different kinds of employment and projects. For weeks, I have been writing up all the possibilities and best options for the next step in my life.

A very dear colleague/friend of mine, perfectly described my 13-year engagement in Art of Living: It is difficult to name a department Gordana has not worked for. With all the different options, interesting projects, various financing offers, locations, it was not easy to ‘decide’. I could not make the decision yet. I just cut the options down and made it simpler: two locations, two projects per location and two projects unrelated to the location. The bare minimum! Then I cut it down further to the most important decision, which was: Ashram or Zagreb. One and the other had its advantages and disadvantages. I had a few parameters I referred to: - finance - location - close to family and friends - work fun - work environment - advancing in the project - longer term solution

Based on all of the above, the Ashram took the first place. One thing was still bothering me. Was I going to be unsatisfied in the Ashram, and feel too separated from the outer world? That was the reason of my doubt, maybe Zagreb would be better?

In the end I did what I felt was the most implrtant thing for me. I asked the Guru. I knew he could clear my head. In the end I just needed a small stamp to finally make my decision, that I already felt was right. At the same time, I was truly open to receive an advice, even if it would be something diametrically opposite from what I wanted.

THE BREAKTHROUGH

The question was simply: Ashram or Zagreb? The answer was, surprisingly: ‘You can choose.' Wow! Yes, the decision is on me this time. I need to know what I truly want. I knew, it is to be in the centre of European events.

Still there was a little doubt in me, whether or not the Ashram is my comfort zone? Whether or not I am running away from life, out there? So, I went on to ask another question: ‘Is the Ashram good for me?’ and the reply was: ‘I want you for our next big project, as soon as it is in motion’. Therefore, Ashram until further notice, until the next big thing, that could be quite a change for all of us, as part of the organization. I know you must be super curious, but I do not wish to spoil the surprise – I’ll let you know in good time.

What was really a breakthrough for me in the last 6 months, is that I have explored all the working avenues I wished to have in life, and after all that concluded, from the bottom of my soul, in a crystal clear way, that I am certain where my heart belongs to. It belongs to this Path. Not to working in a city, or another carrier. It belongs exactly where I am now, and where I intend to stay. I always did everything to the extreme, until the limit, to the end. That seems to be the only way to feel that deepest inner contentment. Only when I am completely and totally, with heart, soul and head in something, only then am I satisfied. Nothing less than that, no compromise, no adjusting really can make me content. I cannot be!

All that is on the outside, so what about the inner state? Oh ye, inner world, what news have you given?

How to know that you are ‘right’ and yet let go of the attachment of ‘being right’? If I KNOW how something is done, and the other does not and also refuses to hear me out? How, knowing you are right, to let nature educate the other person? To allow the environment, sitations teach the person of what she or he are doing wrong, and not only me and me alone? At the same time to be right, to know I am right, yet, create and feel the space for the other person to receive the lesson in a way they can implement the change, and not only have more resistance to myself. A miracle!

GOODY GIRL BECAME DRAGON and vice versa

Something inside of me change from the very roots. I finally see it now clear as day, and it manifests in my daily activities. Firstly, as I had already mentioned, I act more freely with showing anger, communicating directly, but also showing more heart. I had a breakdown recently that helped bring down my personal Chinese wall in front of others. If I were to tell you from the top of my tongue, what I am afraid of the most, would be: loneliness. You too? A wonder!

I became aware that this fear of mine manifests by hiding my insides, like it was sacred. No one comes in! At the same time, I really, really, really love people a lot. In general and in a personal way. I love a lot of people. I am super emo. Mega giga emo. I live my life driven by my emotions.

Reason shows up here and there, most commonly in the form of motherly reminders where I stand in reality. If I allow people to see how much I love them, that means they are in. Once they are in, they can do whatever they want. When they do what they want, I suffer, because I care too much. I have a hard time handling others’ suffering, because I take it to heart. If I allow them to come in and see my own? I am done. They go, leaving me, forgetting and not loving, and then my suffering is planetary. Yet, if I do not let them in, they keep knocking on my door for a while, until I cry out from the other side of the wall that I am not at home. I keep yelling: I am not here! Then the real chaos happens. The mob forwards, wanting to knock down the wall, and then I take my cannons out. War it is!

A layer of the wall peeled down, now the public knows of the hay house hiding behind the stone wall. As the cannons have been removed, a guard replaced them – awareness. Every single moment I am the sentry, and as soon as there is something fishy, I start snarling. Before I would squat behind the wall, until the gate would be close to falling, then panic and shoot. Before they come barging in, I am ready. As the doors have opened now, whoever wishes can come and have tea and cookies.

I broke a string for the first time in my life, Dragon-Kid / / / Pukla mi je žica prvi put u životu, Aždajica

I LOVE NATURE

Completely unrelated. We recently went to search for a lake to swim in. The first day the map took us to a little puddle and a stream, so we splashed about in the shallow water, and got stuck in weeds, instead of swimming and sunbathing. The next day we drove on a miniature path along a deep fall, just to have to take a long down spiral hike on a bumpy path, in our flip-flops. We had a swim in the most disgusting looking water in history of lakes (a brownish, green-yellow color) and had to return the same long way. The third day I had not gone out at all and the guys I went with the two previous days, made sure not to have new ‘challenges’ and had a long swim in the local swimming pool. What was really interesting were the opposites. The joy and excitement of planning nice nature trips, resulting in being unpleasant, at the least! More like, scary and completely useless. Both trips were also quite good fun mixed with the queasiness of not knowing where we would get to and disappointment with the end result. Expecting a nice swim in the water, we got splashing in shallow water and an unpleasant dip in a giant brown mud-puddle. Equally beautiful, fun and challenging trips and at the same time unpleasant, weird and tiring.

While we took the winding road to the hilltop, I watched carefully the Black Forest trees. I watched, listened and felt. As I was thinking a lot about Mordor in those days (not necessarily connected to anything, just a Tolkien obsession), I saw elves in the eye of my mind. It hit me: Elves are projected tree souls! Nothing more than that. If we would be able to see the souls of trees, they would look exactly like elves.

Always never nothing is the same.

The third trip was completely spontaneous, and not at all planned, but it had to happen. An entire day-trip, spiced up with Indian lunch and Italian dinner. In between, swimming in the beautiful lake, jumping into the water, sunbathing, music, refreshing summer rain, a wonderful stroll through the city and easy company… Better and better. The most beautiful part was that the heads were empty most of the day. A reward!

Now, the biggest reward. After more than a 4-month long resistance, I am assisting the Teacher Training. This is my fourth year with this department, and I was happy to see the changes that occurred in between, how the organisation itself is progressing, and my role keeps changing.

FLOW

I have been spending time with people lately, who use this expressing of ‘being in the flow’. When everything is just as it is, just flowing perfectly. As if there were an invisible hand guiding me, I go here, I meet this and this person, they tell me whatever they do, and it all makes perfect sense why I was there at that particular time. I don’t know how that happens, but it does. It was so difficult and hard for a while there, and then it completely turned over. Now all is beautiful and perfect. Until when, mommy? I hope for a longer while.

European Teacher Training Desk Team 2018 (unfortunately not complete) / / / Europski tim podučavanja novih učitelja (nažalost ne sasvim potpun)

********HRVATSKA VERZIJA OVDJE********

SREDINA - CENTAR - STUP

I što ti na kraju krajeva treba da budeš sasvim zadovoljan i sretna?

Za mene sada to dolazi iz osjećaja potpune predanosti tome što radim, u svakom trenutku. Da li je uopće bitno što je to točno, to što radimo? Dok god SVE što radim, radim sa sto posto posvećenosti, dotad se osjećam apsolutno ispunjeno do vrha. Kad god se nećkam i opirem, i neću i ne da mi se - najjednostavnije stvari postaju veliki napor.

Koliko je hrabrosti i volje potrebno da osjećaš odgovornost za stanje svog uma, i svoje energije? Do kada je potrebno da dajemo svoju snagu i moć drugima, čineći ih glavnima i odgovornima za ono kako se mi osjećamo i za ono što se događa u našim životima?

I onda druga strana. Do kad ćemo se opirati stvarnosti koja se događa? Do kad ne prihvaćati stvarno stanje stvari? U nadi i želji da bude drugačije, propuštati milijarde sadašnjih trenutaka?

Ili previše pasive i naizgledne lagode koja nas vodi u letargiju i depresiju, ili više akcije koja nas vodi u osjećaj da je sve na nama, gdje se čini da nikad nema odmora.

U svakom trenutku svjesnosti, vraćanje nazad k sebi. Dogodilo se što se dogodilo, napravili smo što smo mogli. I to je to!

Eto, sad sam nam svima riješila sve životne probleme. Lako tako.

POČETAK KRAJA MIŽERIJE?

Ajmo onako kako najviše volim, otpočetka. Ili otamo gdje sam zadnje stala. Život u Ashramu. Ostati ili otići? Apsolutno se divim procesu odlučivanja i svega što mi je donio. Različiti timovi su mi ponudili različita zaposlenja i projekte. Tjednima sam raspisivala sve mogućnosti i najbolje opcije za daljnji život.

Jako mi draga kolegica/prijateljica, savršeno je opisala moj dosadašnji 13-godišnji angažman: teško je imenovati odjel u Art of Livingu u kojem Gordana nije radila. Uslijed svih tih opcija, zanimljivih projekata, različitih financija, lokacija, nije mi bilo baš lako ‘odlučiti’. I nisam mogla odlučiti. Samo sam srezala i pojednostavila opcije: dvije lokacije, po dva projekta na svakoj lokaciji i dva projekata nevezana uz lokaciju. Minumum! Zatim sam to sve svela na najvažniju odluku, a ta je bila: Ashram ili Zagreb. I jedno i drugo je imalo svoje prednosti i mane. Imala sam nekoliko referentnih parametara: Novci Lokacija Blizina obitelji i prijatelja Zabava posla Radno okruženje Napredak u projektu Dugoročnije rješenje

Na temelju toga svega, prevagnuo je Ashram. No, mučila me jedna stvar, a to je hoću li u Ashramu biti nezadovoljna i osjećati se pre-odvojeno od vanjskog svijeta? Iz tog razloga sam se opet nećkala, možda bolje Zagreb?

Na kraju sam napravila ono što sam osjećala da je najvažnije za mene. Pitala sam Gurua. Znala sam da mi on može raščistiti glavu. Doduše, trebao mi je na samom kraju pred odluku samo pečatić na ono što sam već osjećala da će biti. I istovremeno sam bila potpuno spremna da Njegov savjet može biti opet nešto potpuno drugo od onog što sam zamislila.

PRIJELOM

Pitanje je bilo: Ashram ili Zagreb? Odgovor je začuđujuće bio: 'Ti možeš izabrati.' Wow! Da, odluka je na meni. Ja trebam znati što uistinu želim. I znala sam, želim biti u centru evropskih događanja.

Ipak je unutra bila mala sumnja, je li Ashram za mene zona komfora? Bježim li, bojim li se života tamo vani? Pa sam pitala dalje, ‘Ashram je dobar za mene?’, odgovor je došao: ‘Želim te za sljedeći veliki projekt, čim se ostvari’. Znači, Ashram do daljnjeg, do sljedećeg projekta, koji bi mogao biti velika promjena za sve nas u organizaciji. Znam da znatiželja radi, ali ne želim kvariti iznenađenje, dakle - otom potom.

Ono što se još jednom prelomilo u meni u ovom zadnjem razdoblju od pola godine, je to što sam isprobala sve radne opcije koje sam htjela u životu, i na kraju zaključila da mi je iz dubine duše, sasvim kristalno, nesumnjivo jasno, da znam gdje moje srce pripada. Pripada ovom Putu. Ne pripada poslu u gradu, nekoj drugoj karijeri. Pripada ovdje gdje jesam, i tu ću i ostati. Uvijek sam sve radila do ekstrema, do kraja, do zadnje granice. I jedino tako mogu osjetiti ono najdublje unutarnje zadovoljstvo. Samo kada sam srcem, dušom i glavom u nečemu, jedino tada sam zadovoljna. Ništa manje od toga, nikakav kompromis, nikakvo pristajanje me ne zadovoljava. Ne mogu!

To je izvana sve. A iznutra? Uh, unutarnji svijete, što si mi pokazao novoga?

Na koji način znati da si 'u pravu' i istovremeno pustiti vezanost za 'bivanje u pravu'? Ako ja ZNAM kako se nešto radi, a druga osoba ne zna, i ne želi me čuti? Kako znati da si u pravu, i istovremeno pustiti drugog da ga priroda sama poduči? Da ga okolina, situacije, nauče, a ne nužno samo ja? Istovremeno biti u pravu i znati da sam u pravu, i istovremeno kreirati, osjetiti prostor za tu osobu da sama dobije lekciju, na onaj način na koji će promjenu moći primijeniti, a ne samo biti u otporu prema meni. Čudo!

DOBRICA POSTALA AŽDAJA i obrnuto

Također, nešto se unutar mene baš korijenski promijenilo. Napokon to sada vidim jasno kao dan, i manifestira mi se u svakodnevnim interakcijama. Prvo, kao što sam već spomenula, ponašam se puno slobodnije što se tiče pokazivanja ljutnje, direktne komunikacije, ali i pokazivanja srca. Imala sam nedavno još jedan prijelom koji je srušio moj osobni kineski zid prema drugima. Kada bih ti sada s vrha jezika lanula čega se najviše bojim: samoće. I ti? Čudo!

Osvijestila sam da se taj moj strah manifestira tako da skrivam svoju nutrinu, poput kakve svetinje. Nitko ne ulazi! Istovremeno, jako, jako, jako volim ljude. Općenito i osobno. Volim mnogo ljudi. I teški sam oblik emotivca. Najteži slučaj. Živim život vođena emocijom. Razum se povremeno pojavljuje, najčešće u obliku majčinskih podsjetnika gdje se nalazim u stvarnosti. Ako dopustim ljudima da vide koliko ih volim, onda znači da su unutra. Kad su unutra, mogu napraviti što žele. Kada rade što žele, obično nadrapam, jer mi je previše stalo. Teško podnosim tuđu muku, jer je primam k srcu. Ako im još dam da uđu i vide moju… Gotova sam. Odu, ostave me, zaborave, ne vole, i onda sam u patnji planetarnoj. Međutim, ako ne dam da uđu, a kucaju na vratima neko vrijeme, moram im viknuti s druge strane zida da nisam kod kuće. Vičem ja tako: Nisam tu! Onda tek nastaje kaos. Navalila raja, hoće da sruši zid, a ja vadim topove. Rat!

Srušio mi se jedan sloj zida, i sad javnost zna da je iza zida - kućica od slame. Kako su se topovi sklonili, zamijenila ih je straža – svjesnost. U svakom trenutku budno stražarim i čim se netko sumnjiv približi, režim. Ne kao prije, dok sam čučala iza zida dok netko ne bi navalio, pa paničarila i pucala po svemu. Prije nego navale, spremna sam. I naravno, kako su vrata sada otvorena, tko hoće, može doći na čaj i kekse.

VOLIM PRIRODU

Potpuno nevezano. Išli smo nedavno u potragu za jezerom za kupanje. Prvi dan nas je karta navela na baricu i potočić, pa smo se zalijevali vodicom u plićaku, umjesto plivanja i sunčanja. Sutradan smo se vozili minijaturnim puteljkom uz prijetnju ogromne šumske provalije, da bi na kraju strmoglavi spust do jezera obavili u japankama, okupali se u najneprivlačnijem jezeru u povijesti (smeđe, zeleno-žute boje, bez dna) i neoduševljeni se vratili istim putem. Treći dan nisam izašla, a ekipa s kojom sam prošla avanture prethodna dva dana, su se osigurali protiv novih 'izazova', te se okupali u najbližem bazenu, u selu do. Ono što je bilo zanimljivo su doživljene suprotnosti. Veselje i očekivanje i planiranje lijepih izleta, koji su na kraju bili u najmanju ruku nelagodni, ponegdje zastrašujući i naizgled potpuno besmisleni. Oba izleta su bila također i izrazito zabavna, pomiješana s nelagodom neznanja gdje ćemo završiti i popriličnog razočaranja krajnjim rezultatom (očekujući plivanje u vodi, dobili smo brčkanje i nelagodno kupanje u smeđoj bari). Jednako lijepi i zabavni i izazovni izleti, istovremeno nelagodni, čudni, umarajući.

Dok smo se vozili vijugavim cesticama do vrha brda, gledala sam stabla Crne Šume. Gledala, slušala i osjećala. Kako sam tih dana dosta mislila na Mordor (nevezano ni uz šta posebno), u umu su mi se ocrtali vilenjaci. Pogodilo me: Vilenjaci su projicirane duše stabala. Ništa više od toga. Kada bi mogli vidjeti duše stabala, vidjeli bi da izgledaju isto poput vilenjaka.

Uvijek nikad ništa nije isto.

Treći izlet je bio potpuno spontan i neplaniran, ali morao se dogoditi. Cjelodnevni izlet, začinjen indijskim ručkom i talijanskom večerom. Između, plivanje u prekrasnom jezeru, skakanje u vodu, sunčanje, glazba, ljetna osvježavajuća kišica, prekrasna šetnja gradićem u lagodnom društvu… Sve bolje od boljeg. A najljepše od svega, cijeli dan u glavi skoro pa ništa. Nagrada!

I sada, najveća nagrada, nakon više-mjesečnog opiranja, da ponovno asistiram na učiteljskom tečaju. Ovo mi je četvrta godina s tim odjelom, i veseli me moći vidjeti promjene koje su se dogodile u međuvremenu, kako je organizacija napredovala, i moja uloga, kako je svaki puta drugačija.

FLOW

U zadnje vrijeme se družim s par ljudi koji koriste taj izraz: „flow“. Ono kad ti sve teče, točno kako treba. Kao navođena nevidljivom rukom, idem tu, sretnem toga i toga, ta osoba mi kaže to i to, i sve ima savršenog smisla i svrhe. Ne znam kako do toga dođe, ali tako je. Bilo je baš grozno i naporno neko vrijeme, i onda se sve promijenilo u suprotnu stranu. Sada je sve lijepo i savršeno. Dokad mamice? Nadam se neko duže vrijeme.

Being in the flow, even if it’s in a bucket / / / Kad sve teče, čak kad je u kanti

#personal blog #gordana tihomirovic #art of living #ttc desk #being in the flow

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