#i shouldn't say thay but maybe it's worth it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

discluded · 7 months

Note

hi! this is regarding their recent airport pics and videos, is it not weird that there are fans taking pics and videos of them at the airport? wheres the privacy lmao? like how are they allowed to follow them around everywhere? and also that person who put up the duty free video? thats taken from so close as well? im just concerned like is this supposed to be normal cause mileapo seem like very private people who wouldn't be okay with that

just wanted your opinion!

Yes. Is the short answer. It's weird, and kind of creepy, and a violation of privacy. Anything I say after this is not an excuse or justification that it's OK, but more a reflection of how we (collectively, culturally in the fandom culture sense) got to this point, and why BOC is powerless to stop it even if they had any interest in doing so.

Part of it is that airport fashion became such a prominent part of kpop culture, really being pushed by cultural and fashion icons from Big Bang. So it hasn't been that long really - maybe 15 years at the most, but now Korean idols especially dressed to be seen. if you promote a culture where stars are dressed to be seen at the airport, then it follows that fans will go to the airport for a chance to see their idols. It's that simple.

Just as BTS inherited a lot of fans from 1D when 1D broke up in 2015, KinnPorsche's release in relation to BTS's hiatus announcement also in part helped pushed KinnPorsche to even greater heights. BTS fandom still remains incredibly active, but it's the same way it was with 1D -- the fandom wouldn't get regular updates, and suddenly there was a something interesting and at least worth filling the time with until BTS came back. It's the same reason BrightWin and 2gether became such a big thing when by itself, 2gether was fairly typical of other Thai BLs of its era. Or why Animal Crossing was such a massive hit. The timing affected its success.

(For more context, you should watch this video about the science of luck. A little funnier tidbit, when he talks about running the simulation 1000 times to pick candidates -- that is in fact how machine learning (my job!) works. The tl;dw version of that is to say that talent itself isn't the only factor - success is very reliant on luck.)

So back to your question - inheriting fans from a kpop fandom also means inheriting some of kpop culture. And many post-Hallyu Wave fandoms originating from Asian countries as a collective push for soft power via media output fashion themselves after Korea's success. For example, we don't see this airport culture retroactively affecting jpop fandom (which has a long-standing history) the same way. It's more in countries which fannish cultures are still more malleable and developing their own identities.

In the same way, it's inherited a lot sasaeng culture as well from kpop - specifically, individuals or groups who have way to much access to private information they shouldn't, like flight information.

There's two other factors: few Thai actors(/idols) have been flying out of the country to work and promote as much as MileApo have. At the beginning (for KPWT stops), BOC wasn't encouraging fans to show up at the airport; they were just there. And also going to the cities because they were dedicated enough to support KinnPorsche and BOC outside of the country. And then when it became difficult to manage, BOC more formally organized these more airport sendoffs because they knew people would show up anyway. It was at least a way to help control the chaos, as a courtesy for the airport staff.

Airports are public spaces; BOC really does not have any ability to limit an individual person's presence at the airport, even if they try to discourage as a whole.

That leaves a weird space for these follow-the-actor sessions at the airport when there isn't a send-off announced by BOC, but groups get flight information and word spreads around. Or, when they're past security, which is not a public space.

From Mile and Apo's perspective, I don't think they're necessarily "ok" with this, but there is also very little they can do about it, to an extent. Following them and recording them on a plane has loudly been declared a no-no, as well as openly exposing their travels when they request fans don't because it's for business under wraps (eg. Pond and Apo flying to Europe to iron out the Piaget deal). Unfortunately, it seems like in the general space of the airport, they have to trust fans be judicious in what's an appropriate distance to stay away, and what is appropriate to do/photograph. When fans do violate that perceived barrier (e.g., mil3mile/CaiCai trying to hand Mile a note then throwing it at Apo's head, or the fans who kept stalking Apo in Shanghai despite requests to leave him alone on his trip and irritated a man at the airport into throwing a bottle at Apo's direction), other fans are at least more quick to punish these offenders to this perceived violation of space... though, again, if we're honest, photographing them esp past security, or seeing them off at the airport when they didn't announce it was for fans is... already that.

It's really hard for BOC to curb. But if they want to even address part of the root issue -- which is that there's someone internally who's leaking information to sasaeng/groups likely for financial gain -- they have to be more willing to clean house too. Apo's Shanghai flight wasn't the only thing leaked -- fans knew he was going to show up at iQIYI headquarters too, at what time and date. There's a lot going on that Pond can't control here, and I don't fault him for. Even if they catch one or two internal instigators when they find out who, the damage is already done.

So tl;dr yeah it's weird and sometimes uncomfortable, but become kind of normalized through the way that fandom has developed recently. And it's also very hard to curb, if BOC tries. So some of it is just managing it as much as they can at this point.

Thanks for the question. I think I'll also be more judicious in the airport I stuff going forward. It was always something I said I would continue to revisit, and post at my own level of comfort.

#mileapo airport

10 notes · View notes

chateautae · 3 years

Note

elphie anon 🐘

I read MID ch7 instantly when you posted it and had to take a couple of days to just to comprehend... uhm, some... feelings. So forgive me, since I've bottled this up and will result in a long message ... but the work is just so good I can't resist showering you with praise.

You live in my mind rent free.

I can't describe how cute and domestic everything was in the early parts then hOt, then just ditty dotty destroyed me in the later scenes.

The smut was... *clears throat, wipes forehead daintily*... it made me feel stuff that I should otherwise be used to in esp in this site, but when mid Tae told YN to behave I think it took my brain minutes to comprehend that I'm just reading a wonderfully crafted piece. And that no, I should not feel my knees to weaken and toes curl, but they did anyway. Gotta say, the mind is a powerful thing.

But as it turns out, SAMMY IS SO MUCH POWERFUL.

The whole trip with Jimin really solidified what was coming in the end of this chaoter, it tastefully and comprehensively vocalised the conversation about this whole feelings ordeal first with YN, and paved way for that earth shattering ending. I can't help but remember thay quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower when I was reading: "we accept the love we think we deserve."

Damn, really. While it hurts to see and more on resonate with how hard it is to accept love from others after certain unfortunate relationships (yn), I really commend you on choosing to write this realistically. I think her mindset towards this type of stuff, while not really the best, is well-built enough to show how hard and conflicting it is to see yourself have worth for love. And it isn't easy to change in a matter of moments, but it is worth changing this perception just as it is worth seeing and admitting when you love someone.

For me, it's also worth seeing that sometimes the love others give us are dependent on how much they treasure us, and that's theirs alone. It's not something that we get to decide no matter how much we think we shouldn't hsve it, but something that, at least here, is something they spend just as much thought and effort to ensure and choose.

Tae felt it in every chapter, intensely too, with his friends as witnesses. Of course deceit can always happen, but sincerity too. You can't punish yourselves for the deciet that others do. it's their lie, faulting the victim (hate u kiseok) won't do anything, and carefulness doesn't always mean you're always right about others' intentions. I cried so much for both of them, but I guess that we can't always understand love from each's point of view as clearly as they can; we just have to learn to accept it. And trust that maybe, or surely, that they do love us, and us them.

Your talent and hardwork speaks so genuinely to my mind when I read your work; I can't say enough to thank you for letting the world see this.

... And is it true? The murmurings from the street, the rumors falling from lips? MAKE-UP SEX? YN BTCH U BETTER HEAL THAT HAND fully OR I WILL BE THE ONE TO CAREFULLY MEDICATE U SO TAE CAN FUCK YOU INTO THE DEEP DIMENSIONS OF HIS LOVE AND CARE FOR U. AND U DO THE SAME TOO BTCH BETTER KISS ALL UR FEELINGS INTO HIM.

cuz if u don't, then i shall join forces with jimin and hana.

sorry for such a long mssg huhu, and for the bad interpretation chahahzhJJJjssjjakwks

NEVER SAY SORRY FOR LONG MESSAGES I’M A CERTIFIED WHORE FOR THEM 😤

“You live in my mind rent free” Showering me with praise??? I’M- I’m crying?? I don’t even know what to say omg 😭 ASLDJLDKJ please dom!tae has that power, and it’s really only a sneak peek of what happens when you disobey him because let’s be real, Y/N will do it again sksksk. Oh God, you’re so correct, I think it summarizes perfectly what’s going on between these two. In a sense, they’re both rejecting each other on the premise either of them is not deserving of the other’s love. “We accept the love we think we deserve”, such a beautiful quote that can explain two broken people trying to find a way to love each other 🥺

You’re correct again, the human mind is a wonderfully intricate system, and oddly takes a few seconds to destroy yet years to rebuild. Y/N’s mindset comes from not only years under the emotional (and sometimes physical we’ve seen) abuse she’s endured from her mother which can largely impact any child, but also from someone she was in love with for a long time only have that love taken advantage of and abused as well. It’s crippling to anyone’s mentality and skews the idea of love for them almost eternally.

Taehyung is different because he’s never been in love before, it’s new and shiny and bright and so he fell hard and fast, he has no qualms about admitting he’s in love either because he doesn’t know the painful experience of falling in love and desires to finally be in love (only until this argument ofc) while Y/N denies it because she knows love is painful and doesn’t want to go through it again.

Though you’re correct yet again, it will present itself in future chapters but ultimately, love as pure as theirs is unconditional and cannot be changed nor forgotten. It won’t matter what the other thinks, because the other will love them unconditionally, or love them until they believe them, because love is ours to give and cannot be defined nor appraised by any price. But alas, we can never truly know how someone else feels about us, so another great point, love is scary because we must trust in the depths of our hearts somebody loves us the same, and we must see how these two decide to trust each other on that.

You’re so kind for even taking the time to write such a long message elphie anon omg, it took me days to reply to you because I didn’t even know how to begin, but I had the stupidest grin reading your lovely message 🥺💕 thank you so much, truly, for always being so sweet and interactive.

ALSO WAITTT “SO TAE CAN FUCK YOU INTO THE DEEP DIMENSIONS OF HIS LOVE AND CARE FOR U” WHY AM I CACKLING AT THIS I FELT THIS IN MY SOULLL OMG but yes I’m currently writing the smut scene and all I have to say is there’s a LOT going on, YES it shall be categorized as rough and nasty yet soft and passionate makeup sex because I'm a desperate whore😌

#fic: maybe i do #feedback #elphie anon!!

11 notes · View notes

patpran · 4 years

Note

I'm not trying to be an apologist bc fuck what they said and did. I find it abhorrent, but shouldn't we also make an attempt to educate them? I'm not a fan of cancel culture because it negates the fact that people need to be educated, learn, change and admit their mistakes. we need to educate ourselves and realise we have done abhorrent things and make a conscious effort to unlearn these biases that we have. (I get they're almost 30 but the learning can start anytime)

okay so . i have very conflicting opinions on this so here’s a me-to-me debate under the cut LMAO excuse all my errors..... it is 3:15am and this shit just had way too many compound complex sentences for my brain to follow from start to end <3

1. i agree with you. cancel culture(?) is stupid and it’d be nice if we could educate people

being harsh and just screaming CANCELLED won’t solve anything because it’ll only serve to infuriate both sides. if you try and explain things nicely, maybe they’ll get it. it’s a bit idealistic to think that some famous thai dudes with 1 million twitter followers will listen to you, but it’s worth a shot if it means helping people become, well, better versions of themselves?

i also don’t agree with this whole cancel culture phenomenon because it’s honestly (sometimes) just... so over the top. it also does not work!! my girl madison beer has been cancelled AT LEAST three times? she’s still out and about! turning your hatred into a hashtag (insert name)isoverparty turns it into a useless bandwagon that people hop on, then off again onto the next one of the next person being cancelled. was that cumbersome to read? yeah, that’s the feeling of cancel culture, honestly

so yeah, educating them would be great if it’s doable. especially when it’s someone you love and adore. none of these famous people are bad inside and out. if you can correct their problematic aspects, they’ll become the new and improved version of someone you love. you can love them more after that.

2. maybe it’s because i’m incredibly self-serving and completely deficient in the empathy department, but who has the fucking TIME or ENERGY? and why can’t they do it themselves?

yeah, they CAN be educated. but as a dumb 18 year old on the internet who has virtually no influence over anything, the fatalistic answer is: i can’t do shit to educate these grown ass men.

additionally, from my POV, i’m watching people who are: 1. from a country way less conservative and shielded than mine 2. much older than me make dumb “mistakes” i have been teaching myself NOT to make since i was thirteen. and it’s not that resources that educate you on social issues don’t exist in non-english languages. there are plenty of big thai twiter accounts that tweet about social justice and the likes, amongst the mountains of other news sources i’m sure exist. information should never come to you -- you should be the one seeking it out for your own personal betterment.

bottom line: i don’t see how they couldn’t have, and still can’t educate themselves. i’m not saying to cancel them, because cancel culture or whatever the fuck it’s called is a dumb, dumb, DUMB concept. i’m saying that in the event they make a mistake, the process should go like this:

people call them out --> they realise something is wrong --> they do their own personal research to figure out where they went wrong --> they are properly educated --> they issue an apology --> don’t be dumb and make the same mistake again

even at 75 years old, becoming educated is not too late. god, i’m still unlearning my prejudices despite priding myself on being this walking sack of social awareness and acceptance. at 18, i’m educating myself. at 40, i hope i’ll continue to do so. likewise, these 20-30 year old dudes who are no short of access to fun resources should go get educated. i agree with you, in that cancel culture is disagreeable. “cancelling” someone should only come about when they’ve been given chance after chance to go get educated and pull an apology and changed behaviour out of their asses only to show up empty handed. however, we shouldn’t be obligated to educate them. we can nudge them in the right direction and tell them they’re wrong: i think that’s sufficient. an idol is not worth being your idol if they can’t do something as simple as doing some google searches or reading of fan comments to see what they’ve done wrong.

#bread answers #discourse #anyways everyone pray i get to b one of the 200 lucky fans for brightwin tomorrow <3 #they're announcing the 200 lollllll #my luck is bad though

23 notes · View notes

fishingforseabass · 4 years

Text

So I'd like to share my point of view about Sebastian and his behavior in the last few months. First of all I'm not here to defend him. I just wanted to share my thoughts with you guys and maybe have a good debate? lol I've been a fan of him for years and now with this whole situation a lot of things made sense to me (I guess). When I became his fan I used to put him on a pedestal and then a few years later I stopped because I realized besides being famous and so on he was just a guy so he shouldn't be treated like a God or something. I really think he's a nice guy BUT the people he chose to be surrounded by, the people he chose to get involved with make things a little worse (in my point of view). I'm not defending him by blaming his friends (I mean I don't even know them for real) but for me they're just white people living on their rich little world so I think this fact might have an influence on Sebastian. I think he doesn't leave his comfort zone because: a) it's a very hard step and b) nobody around him do the same. And I understand he's almost 40 and he should be making those changes by himself but when people around us don't change, we don't change either because it's too comfortable for all of us (I'm saying this because I experienced almost the same when I went to college). I really feel like if he had lived (more) with people from different backgrounds before and kept them until these days maybe today he wouldn't be acting like this? Again I'm not defending him because he's in a position that can't be defended but I'm just trying to understand all this and don't take all these as facts because I don't know him or his friends. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I wrote this based on the little things I observed throught the years as a fan. I also think it's kind late now for him to make dramatic changes like being more vocal about stuff (don't mind me cause I'm just being pessimist). Basically nobody around him do the same so why should he? I don't mean he shouldn't be making changes btw. I meant nobody around him care that much so he probably think he shouldn't care either which is wrong IF (a big IF) he really think thay way. I also don't think he should cut out his friends (because guess what? I don't know them) BUT he should leave his "bubble" which brings in another point. I felt like he's the kind of person who's very loyal and at the same time he doesn't want to lose them? Maybe this is because he always wanted to fit in while growing up and now he might even see that the people around him are problematic in certain ways but at least they're loyal to him so maybe he doesn't want to lose them especially now with fame. And I think this can apply to his love life as well. He always dates women he's been in touch and/or work with or some friend of his friends you know? Like he worked with Margarita, Ellie is Will's wife friend so they have met before 2018 and now Alejandra with Jon. He never go out there and try find someone outside his bubble and I think there are two explanations: he's too comfortable and/or he's very insecure. I kind understand him because now with fame and everything must be difficult to trust someone totally new and the fact that he works a lot, spend lots of time away from home might keep him from going out there and meet new people. I honestly think the Ellie situation and now this one should make him open his eyes a little bit because he's getting so comfortable on his own bubble that now is hard to change that and while he doesn't change that it's getting hard to understand his side when these last two women was involved in racism (and I know there a lot of other things to considerate but it's a debate for another time). I believe he can change when he realize he needs to leave his comfort zone for real. It won't be easy (especially for him that is older) but it will be worth it. If you are here wow you're warrior lol 1/2

#submission

2 notes · View notes

oleanderblume · 2 years

Text

I wish things were easier to do. And I really wish I weren't getting worse.

Today I had 2 loads, I got out my truck to walk around, looking for a bathroom mostly. And walked for maybe 30 minutes? Not long at all. And my whole lower back caught fucking fire.

It's a recurring thing for me, that usually I don't notice because walking and standing objectively makes it worse. So I got a job where I don't walk or stand often.

I don't know what it is, honestly. I fogure maybe arthritis? Or chronic inflammation of some sort? Idk, I took a curcumin pill once and it helped with the pain for like an hour. But that was years ago.

It's like..a persistent ache, throbbing and constant. No matter how much I ignore it, it's still always there, sometimes not as bad as other times. From my hips down to my knees, feels like every movement is scraping bone against bone, or like all my muscles got ripped to shreds and only the tendons are barely hanging on. Idk

When it's really bad, my legs give out. Thay was the main reason I stopped doing standing jobs. I fell every day, several times a day, and would be in so much pain I literally couldn't move without tearing up.

Sometimes, they just *feel* like they are going to give out. Like a little threat saying "you keep this up and I'll break on you." Like any moment my legs will give out and ill be crashing into the floor for the umpteenth time.

Sometimes they are so week I can't walk at all. Have to prop myself up, prepare myself to take a step, then another.

I have a lot of...feeling about this. Self worth, identity, coming to terms with this thing that I've been pretending isn't a problem for years, while doing everything I can to accommodate myself without having to go to a doctor. It's not like I can risk being forced into medical care I can't afford.

At the same time, I feel guilty. Like I shouldn't be complaining, like it's really not that bad that sometimes I just. Can't. Walk.

It's no big deal. Totally fine.

I don't know what's wrong with me. To be honest. I don't really want to... cause that would make it a real thing. Instead of me being silly.

Sometimes I think about the cause, It could be a weird genetic thing. Or maybe my thought about it being inflammation?

One time I fell in the shower and landed right on my tailbone. Had an open wound for months that my parents never took me to a doctor for. Mostly they laughed at me for falling. I was 12.

Before that though, I was already hurting. For months, but I don't remember if it was quite the same. It was bad though, couldn't lay on my back without crying, couldn't walk right, or sit comfortably. I don't know why that happened. I can guess.

I have a lot of trauma. Sex things, you know. So maybe it's just a physical manifestation of that? Like conversion disorder?

I think I read somewhere that 9pm is when you are mentally at a really low point. So maybe I'm just thinking about it because of that?

Either way. I'm in pain. Horrendous, God ending pain. And I'd really like for it to stop. It just never will.

0 notes

letterstothelosers · 6 years

Note

Hi, (look Idk if This is even allowed on here And if it's not pls feel free to ignore This message And please accept my apologies) I'm in a really bad place right now and i wanted to something that I know I shouldn't but like I actually really want to and idk how to stop wanting to cut? Any advice from anyone?

OOC:

THIS IS A VERY LONG AND SERIOUS POST. Do not read if talk of self harm or suicide is triggering for you.

First off, I want to start start by saying I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. It sucks.

The rest I’ll put under a read more.

Most of what I’m about to say will likely sound like bullshit, I know. And I am sorry. When in a bad place it is hard and unbelievable to hear things like “It’ll get better” but I’m begging you to bare with me. I’ve been in bad places, and sometimes I still find myself in them. Just please read through to the end.

IT GETS BETTER. I promise. A little over 3 years ago I was in the hospital after trying to kill myself not for the first time. Today I am sitting in a warm bed at home on an unexpected day off eating Thai food and watching TV and having a blast with friends on this here RP site. I never thought I would be here, not 3 years ago. Not even a few months ago. Things do get better. Not right away and not all at once, but they do. They get better and even when they get worse after that they do get better again and again. It is a really fucking fucked up cycle but I promise you it is so worth it.

Now, as for tips on not cutting or hurting yourself. I’ll tell you what worked for me.

The biggest thing that helped me, oddly enough, was this app called Days, which is just a day counting app. I have it set for the last day I hurt myself and, a lot of the time when I was early in my recovery, the only thing that stopped me from cutting was not wanting the day to go down to 0. ( WIth doing this, I do have to say that if your number does get back to 0 please don’t hate yourself. There have been times when i was at 200 and then fell to 0. today, my number is 1233 days since I last harmed. You can do this. I swear. Maybe not on the first try but you can.)

other tips I’m going to separate a little because I don’t know what part of the act of cutting is the addiction for you.

For pain addiction with harming: a rubber band on the wrist that you snap can help, ice cube where you usually harm can help, digging your nail in a little can help, and wearing socks that are too tight can be a strange trick. BUT these are for VERY desperate times. Not to be made into a new habit, just as a resource for you know that if you don’t you will harm.

For sight of blood: invest in stage blood. Really. It helps, and you can even hold the bag in your hands a little to warm it up so it feels a little more real. Beet juice also makes an appearance of blood, oddly enough.

For sight of actual wounds: putting band aids or ace wrap or wearing sweatbands where you usually harm can help because you can trick yourself into thinking your hiding wounds.

NOW FOR “ACTUAL” recovery. most of all that up there is for right now. Like, for when you are really trying not to hurt yourself in the moment. As for recovery, please talk to someone. If possible and accessible, get professional help. It is great and there is no shame in it. Without professional help and really good friends to talk to, I literally would not be here right now.

If you don’t have anyone to talk to right now, please look up hotlines and textlines and the works. I don’t know where you live, but most places have free resources like that.

And, please feel free to message here off anon and I can contact you through my personal tumblr is you need to talk. Please be safe.

Also, I am so fucking proud of you for reaching out. That is so hard and it shows so much strength.

#Anonymous #not Eddie #not losers

18 notes · View notes