#i should really start tagging more often

[thatdamalexevans]

I posted 1,121 times in 2022

That's 1,117 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (2%)

1,101 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dr-drea

@local-aro-cryptid

@inthetags

@nose-bl

@for-your-modesty-dude

I tagged 325 of my posts in 2022

#druck - 27 posts

#heartstopper - 25 posts

#druck s8 - 22 posts

#stranger things - 19 posts

#druck mailin - 19 posts

#druck season 8 - 17 posts

#goncharov - 9 posts

#nick nelson - 8 posts

#unreality - 8 posts

#mailin richter - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#yesss / i like the taste but i don't necessarily buy it for other reasons / yesss / nooo / brand nutella no but vegan version yes / yesss

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

"you asked me what i want. and what i want is *continues 5 minute monologue about everything but not about what she wants*"

16 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#4

"as your token straight friend"

does that mean that neither elle nor isaac are straight? because i think elle's sexuality has not been mentioned before. and isaac is planned to be aroace (at least that's what alice said, but i don't know if you can count that as canon yet)

either way, i love all of them so much

22 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#3

looking at ava's "you're no boyfriend material" from an aro perspective:

this is the last thing anyone of the group says to ben, this is the final mic drop

that's - at least how it's framed - the worst insult

at the same time, it says a (good) boyfriend is the best thing you can be, that's what's most important about your character

and whereas it's true that ben probably wouldn't be a good boyfriend, seeing how he treated mailin, that's not what makes him a "bad person"

he was an asshole completely unrelated to romantic relationships

and being a boyfriend (or romantic partner in general) is not everyone's goal

that druck frames being a romantic partner as the most important thing in the world, as what everyone longs to be, is definitely disappointing

the only thing that annoyed me about druck since the og generation, is that the main story was always about love interests, but it was okay because, for many people romantic love is important and i can still enjoy it even though i don't feel it, it was written well and friendship was always pictured as important even when it wasn't the main topic

but now, this season isn't written well, there were many hopes that it would bring some aspec rep, and now they follow a highly allonormative and amatonormative trope which just feels like the exact opposite of what we've hoped for

and amatonormativity isn't only harmful to aro people, nobody needs (or should need) a romantic partner to be happy, there's cool things about being single and if you're unhappy or have problems of whatever sort, having a significant other won't solve that

that druck follows potentionally harmful tropes, that also alienate aro spec people, is not what i would have expected them to do

(and i don't feel like it fits ava's character at all, but they already did ava so bad this season, this is not what surprised me about this scene)

23 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

sooo, under the last clip (the mailin getting off after her controller vibrated for some reason one) i wrote a comment which i guess i'll translate now

i don't really like this season, i enjoyed the first 3 episodes and was exited for the further developments.

but, there weren't any developments, not really. like, yes, if you enjoy mastturbating, go for it, but it's not like you have to.

that masturbating is portrayed as something that's always positive, feels weird to me

for me, druck has always been a series, that tells new stories and the "masturbating can be nice"-story, we just know that story already.

this season would have been the perfect opportunity to tell something new.

at first i thought, this season would be aroace rep, which i was really exited about. then it was clear that mailin was into finn (romantically). and yes, she could theoretically still be on the aro spectrum, but it was a way to little topic, for it to be relevant.

then i had hopes for mailin being ace, but if she actually turns out being ace, it wouldn't feel like good rep. i know that asexuality is a spectrum and asexual people have different relations to sex or masturbating etc.

but designing asexual representation in a way that best fits allonormative standards? doesn't feel right to me. and if mailin would come to the conclusion that she is, in fact, ace, it would happen in the last episode. asexuality would only be a topic in one out of ten episodes. that's not a lot.

and if she's not ace, this whole season feels like a missed opportunity. then we would have followed a white, cishet, allo, young woman, who is also quite rich, for ten weeks. a woman who doesn't even acknowledge her privilege, who doesn't reflect on her own mistakes (she still thinks you can destroy books because you feel like it), who isn't good at communicating (like not being in contact with finn after small problems, or drunkenly telling him a week later that the sex was not the best idea) even though she said (in previous seasons) that she was taught to be open about feelings etc. when she had a fight with ava. and the problems that she actually has (ben, but that's it) are handled weirdly. it was only said once or twice that ben was the problem, that it was simply wrong of him to send mailin's nude (that he only got in the first place because he coerced her after she said no). instead the whole screentime was devoted to mailin and zoe fighting and finn being angry about mailin for sending the nude (that was before your relationship?! i don't think you have any right to dictate what mailin should or shouldn't do, and i honestly don't think it fits finns character to react that way).

there've been a lot of storylines, but none of them had a real ending (i wanna know who snitched on mailin and zoe, but there's a week left, so i still have hopes), none were told well (at least that's what it feels like to me), it feels like they just ignore old seasons (isi being non-binary and using all pronouns, what ava and fatou talk about in the abi prank, ava who has always promoted interscetional feminism and everything connected to it is now hyping mailin up even after mailin acts against what ava stands for)

what annoys me the most is that we have lots of cool characters in this show, whose stories haven't been told (in the series but also in mainstream media) who just get ignored

35 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

looking at the comments under the latest clip rn and there are a lot that are really cool

but some are just... eh

there are people saying that every victim of SA should decide for themselves how to deal with it, whether they want to go to the police etc.

and yes, that's true, but it also misses the point

because most victims are scared of going to the police, of what the police might say to them, of having to go through the traumatising events again, and then not even knowing that the abuser will get any consequences

but that's exactly the reason why we should show characters successfully reporting their abusers to the police, especially characters that are praised for "being strong" by their friends

we need to show young victims that going to the police can work and that it doesn't make the situation more traumatising

if we show a charcater not going to the police, even though they are "strong" and have the help of a big friend group, then victims will feel even less like going to the police, because if this strong character with lots of support can't do it, how could they?

71 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i should really start tagging more often #finding typos after in hind sight is kinda awkward

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

#hey she didn't actually come out too bad! #I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^; #I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this #to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh #Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch #and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^; #Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like. #I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD #It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing #it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao #little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections #that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”! #because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like! #sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd #Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here #But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD #this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe #MLP #MLP G5 #Android Arts #Android.txt

[dol-dee]

Whitney strikes me as the type of person who would prefer being hated over indifference

#at least when it comes to the pc / or someone they're actually into #dol rambles #whitney the bully #Ig I should really start tagging the characters I'm talking about more often huh

[rainbowsandwhumperflies]

idk what it is about whump from a first person perspective but it gets me every time. it's like. way more personal because the use of "i" "me" etc etc but also in a way it's much less personal because idk who this is? i do not know this character's name or how this character is seen by the narrative but i am still very close with this character because of the first person pov. i just think it's a little unsettling in a very nice way

#whump #literally obsessed with this for no reason #i get excited every time i see first person pov #which isn't very often and that's fine i just think we should write it more because hhhh #DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SECOND PERSON POV. I'M. #anyway debating whether to tag this with my writing tag or my shitpost tag. i'm not really sure what it is #rainbow's whump #we'll go with that

[pepprs]

cool so my ent just made my ear bleed. im never going back to see her again.

#purrs #i go in every 3 weeks to get my ears cleaned out bc i have chronic issues including w*x build up and she was SO fucking aggressive. i saw #her for all of TWO FUCKING MINUTES and she didn’t even bother to look before she started trying to clean and she was really rough with the #instrument and really hurt my one bad ear taking out the w*x and i was asking her questions about flying and she was completely dismissing #me and shutting me down and telling me to put mineral oil drops or debrox in my ear when SHE is the one who told me earlier not to put any #liquid in my ears. and i was in her chair for all of two minutes and when she left i realized MY FUCKING EAR WAS BLEEDING because she was so #aggressive with the tool she abraded the skin and didn’t even care to check if my ear was clear or bleeding or whatever after she left. im #so fucking angry and in pain. what the FUCK. you are my ent. you KNOW i have chronic issues in that ear specifically. can you not be slow a #and gentle when you see me. can you not give me more than five minutes of your time when i only see you every THREE MONTHS. i just am so #angry and distraught. fuck her and fuck that entire office. it’s so unpleasant being there i am fucking done. #ask to tag #like can you not be delicate. SHOULD you not be delicate. im so fucking mad!!!!!!!!!! #* every 3 months i mean. that’s how often i go in #ear infection tag

[tyrannuspitch]

i think. i should read more comics.

#space viking tag #i'm just not particularly interesting in the reincarnation plotline and that's what everyone always recommends so idk where to start #idk. i mean. maybe i shouldn't. i haven't really vibed with any non-mcu stuff i've encountered so far #including aoa which is often regarded as like. the peak of marvel loki. it was good! but it wasn't rlly for me. #i have a soft spot for toa bc it's whimsical and charming and prequelesque but i also have so many complaints #idk. hmmm. #i should probably look for some thor-centric stuff but i also dk if that will do aaanything i'm interested in #bc i *like* him in context with loki and i like going teehee he's not so heroic after all he's actually extremely LIKE LOKI #and i get a strong impression that his appeal in comics is much more straightforward like... they're playing it all straight #he just Is A Hero and the complexity is that he USED to be a bully. while i prefer BOTH of those things to be much much greyer #idk....... #at least when i'm engaging w/ stuff even if it is frustrating it keeps me thinking abt thor which i always on some level enjoy <3 #i've felt so unfocused and untethered since like. november :-: i need my obsession back!! #it's even fun just to like. see their little faces. #comics thor is not rlly my boy but he's the root of my boy so w/e i see him on some like marvel postcard or whatever in a shop #i still get to go teehee it's my little guy :) #but i'm not a merch person at all interestingly enough. if i buy an object i WILL forget it exists within a week #maybe not if it had a practical function? #but i feel like over time that would fade into visual noise too like oh these are just my. oven gloves or whatever. #anyway what was i talking about

[berryblu-soda]

been hesitating to post this bc i usually try to be super chill and upbeat, but im also trying to be more genuine, so here it is i guess (im doing okay, dont worry)

this probably warrants a trigger warning even tho nothing ever really happened :/

i´d like to thank from the bottom of my heart the friends ive made on this silly little site, i may be a almost a stranger to some of you, im not the greatest at keeping contact with anyone, but if i call you a friend its because you have very special a place in my heart <3<3<3

when i first made tumblr i was really struggling, it felt almost impossible to see anything lovable in myself, if it were up to my whims back then, i wouldve made myself poof out of existence, leave no trace behind. "Goodbye to that worthless piece of trash, everythings so much better without her"

it wasn´t that there was anything wrong at home, my family´s always been nothing but loving and caring to me, but i just struggled to understand *why* that was, i wasn´t contributing financially, functionally, nor did i excell at absolutely anything (looking back, i didn´t have to, i was literally 14) , everything id ever been remotely good at i knew someone who was better than me by a long shot. i didn´t have any irl friends, i had my cousins, but being family it felt a little like they were conditioned and obligated to love me because we were family

i felt alone despite being surrounded by people who loved me, i´d grown too used to it to recognize it as genuine love, so meeting you guys really helped me know that hey! maybe people arent just nice to me because they feel obligated to be! you guys inadvertedly gave me the support i needed to continue living life! And for that im endlessly grateful for <3

i can recall several times, when i was beating myself up over the simplest of mistakes, i genuinely didn´t want to exist if i wasn´t perfect, but when my spiraling got too bad and i´d even start to think of how i´d explain to yall that i´d finally given up on living, i´d start bawling my eyes out, beause I couldn't do that to yall, I still had messages to reply to, friends to wish happy birthday to... i would be devastated if any of you guys left and i couldn´t do anything to help you

so i made myself stick around, to hold on to whatever i could even if it consisted of numbing myself to the point of it being unhealthy. and ive lost years trying to get a grip and snap back to reality, but i made it! im happy these days, and i know no matter what happens im glad im still alive. And hey, maybe i´ll start digging myself into a pit again eventually, this post has been sitting in my drafts a couple weeks and in that time ive had some less than ideal days where i felt myself slipping into that old, sad, lonely, self deprecating mentality, but the difference between back then and now is that now i know i made it out of there once, and i know what´s real because ive already recognized it before, my family isnt lying to me when they say they love me, my fiends arent lying to me when they say they care about me, the only one whos lying to me is myself, saying im not worth any of that. 

so i´ll say it again, thank you friends, for existing and being there, for being my lifeline and not letting me go off the deep end, and acting as band aids for my emotional self-inflicted wounds, i´m not sure how i can ever pay you back, i´m here if you ever need me, i love you, please take care <3

#when i tell you guys to remind your friends you love them and you miss them and not hold back openly caring for them this is why #you dont know how much a ´´i would miss you´´ can mean to someone; gosh... #every time i tell you guys i love and miss you and want you to take care of yourselves i mean it with all my heart #i hope the fact i say it so often doesnt make you think its any less genuine #anyways #personal #shut up sheo #<- man i should really change that tag #i have so much more to say but maybe that´s for a vent post some other day #this is first and foremost a thank you letter to the friends ive made here #old and new; i appreciate you guys so muche <3<3<3!!! #*much #mental health #oh boy i hope my mom doesnt find this or something; i dont think she ever grasped how bad i was doing ahahaha; which isnt really her fault #like i said i have a good home life; rationally there should be nothing hurting me to this extent; but i guess i have a talent <3 #also something that really helped me was my religion #something abt knowing God deliberately made me; specifically me!!! he wanted me to exist!!! #is really comforting #my existence was intenderd from the start; or else i never wouldve existed <3 #that might be such a simple conclusion to reach for some of you but it took me sooo long

[approximately20eggs]

its wishing more people seemed to care about my art hours

#vent in tags #negativity tw #more of a discord issue than a tumblr issue but I post art so people can see it and respond. an acknowledgment that it exists would be nice #even just a reaction #and don't get me started on people who post over really intricate finished art with doodles before anyone can respond to the former and #without even commenting on it #weirdly specific but it happens so fucking often #and no one scrolls up in these channels half the time so it just gets buried #and then I feel like shit #I spend so much time and effort because I want people to go wow!!!! when they see what I've made and for what. for what. #no wonder I'm burnt out on inktober #nobody fucking gives a shit about my art so why should I draw

[redxriiot]

Upon becoming a father, Ei would absolutely ensure he’s the most present parent possible for his kid(s). The worst possible thing in the world for him would be to miss something important of theirs ( milestones, school presentations, etc ); he would absolutely take it quite badly, even if the kid reassures him it’s okay/unavoidable.

#hc #//His old man was either too busy working or; in most cases after some time; actively avoiding him then later him AND his mom #//His mama pushed him away more often than not as a kid; then later most of their interactions were either super good or outright arguments #//But he'd strive most to be like his childhood bestie's parents; or have a family like that #//Is why he wouldn't be content having just one kid; tbh #//Bc in times he can't be there; as much as it'd hurt him not to be; then he can count on the kiddos being there for each other too #//Mans would move the WORLD for family #//Is so desperate and wanting to create the warmest most supportive one; everything he could have ever wanted #//Once things get better between him and his mama; he won't hesitate in asking her to move in with him too #//So his kiddos can get to know their grandmama; so she can catch up on the kid years she missed with him/do 'em properly #//And ofc so he can bond with her again; bc more than anything; he just rlly loves his mama and wants to make sure she's happy #//That he can 'repay' her for all the 'trouble' she went through raising him; esp since his dad didn't really help in that respect #;Mun has spoken #//I leave out mentions of partners; bc it's v ambiguous. Like; he likes the idea of having kids; with a partner or not #//And he wouldn't exactly be actively looking to get with someone once he does have kids prior to getting one #//Esp considering the main idea I have of him and how he gets Tatsu; he's generally going to start his Pro verse already with a kid #//Minus certain already set/plotted Pro verse ideas; but yeah; previous tag is the set plan for the Pro verse #//Anywho; he wouldn't be so inclined bc his main priority would shift to his Family; and making sure he doesn't repeat past mistakes #//Would even go as far as to let them have the final say if he should get with someone bc if his kids don't like them; why even pursue them? #//Tends to over-focus on them; could possibly burn himself in the process if he's not careful #//But he'd see it as worth it. Bc no matter how tired or upset he is; his kids would be the fucken lights of his life #//He'd NEVER be too tired or otherwise unable to vibe with them if offered the chance #//His mama (or close friends) would deffo help if they pitched in a bit. Like; pushing him to rest while they look after the kiddos #//Makes au's like Kit and my gumsquad idea so nice tbh #//Or having the bakusquad all raise their kids as close besties #//Bc everyone can pitch in and take care of the kiddos; and Ei gets the big happy fam he's always wanted without fearing the kids'll go #without the love they deserve. Bc there's many parents on hand to help; bc they have childhood friends to hang with/support #//Everything he truly wanted for himself #//it's v idealistic; yes; but he wanted/wants it so bad; and would want it for his kid(s) as well #//Not ashamed to say this was brought on bc of a game I've been playing (why I've been sparse here oops) and GAH; it hit right in the muse

[wright-phoenix]

sometimes i want to stop reblogging undescribed things but then there'd be no fucking posts on this blog

#exaggerating of course #but sometimes i get a little spark of irritation at how easily some things are described #especially if it's just words. especially if you can just copy them with your device that u just screenshat it with #but also when it's art and you're the most qualified to make an id bc you know whats important #it doesnt have to be long and detailed it's fine to be simple aughhh #“ids are ugly” use alt text. u're excluding a whole group of ppl from ur posts btw #gifset: gifset of (character) in various situations #gif 1: looking left and smiling. gif 2: crying out in pain. gif 3: angry. subtitles say “i'm angry” #etc. idk it really is that easy #fanart of A and B sitting on the couch. theyre wearing their usual outfit. A is relaxed while B sleeps on their legs #like. thats as simple as u can make it... #i know fatigue problems or other disabilities hold certain ppl back from making that and that's fine of course #but everyone who can make ids into their posts.... i'm Looking At You #also ppl who could add ids that someone else wrote to their original post but choose not to. I See You #idk i really dont have any grounds to be this irritated bc i dont need the ids #but as soon as u start being more conscious of this you just see how little ppl care abt this #accessibility advocate but not when it's for blind people apparently #cas.txt #sorry sorry #also i very often dont rb things with gradient text anymore or if i do i tag it because #the horrors of that being read out by a screen reader. i should find the post again #but it basically reads every letter out with its hex code because they're colours not in the tumblr post editor #<- can't confirm if every reader does this etc. bc my knowlegde comes from reading about it #maybe it's outdated info or just happens with one particular reader etc. i dont know

[camzverse]

(guy whos normal about blood voice) yeah idk i just dont think the blood shouldve come out that way when william got springlock failured. the blood wouldve been more like spewing out from the puncture holes. it just wouldnt have looked like how they depicted it. plus the holes in the suit arent THAT large i think most of the blood spatter wouldve hit the inside of the suit. just generally u wouldnt be able to see all that blood. it still wouldve been as if not more bloody u just wouldnt be able to see it all. the mechanics of the blood in that scene just dont make perfect sense to me. But then again i have yet to see anyone get springtrapped irl so who am i to say 🤷

#actually im not rly bothered with how that looked it was fairly accurate id say. MORE IMPORTANTLY-> #i have thoughts about how the blood shouldve worked for the bite of 83. Spoiler alert the way fans often portray it makes no sense to me #the game did the bite pretty well in terms of blood bc i think it wouldve taken a hot minute for the blood to acc start coming out #and once it did its more likely to flow down. the blood wouldnt have splattered out the way people make it in fanart and such #i can definitely see there being SOME blood spatter at first!!! but it wouldnt go far enough to hit mike or anything yk. #really cool when people make it spatter everywhere and onto the masks in fanart tho. i like it. but i js dont think thats how it happened #also his head isnt big enough for there to have been that much spatter. if it was an adult it may be possible but still.. ehhh #blood mention #tw blood #<-not sure if i should tag that but i will jic #cam.txt #fnaf

[anarchonist]

Really good politics *a little kiss on your forehead*

Awww, thank you! What a nice thing to say!

By the way, sorry to all who have sent me asks throughout the years and to whom I've failed to reply for some reason. I will try to do better in the future. Love you guys!

#asks #ask anarchonist #seriously a few times i've started crafting like a super long and elaborate reply and realized i need to do more research #and ultimately erased all i've written because i felt it was way too theoretical and not really answering the question #i tend to overthink a lot which is why i often stick to tags so i don't derail the actual conversation in the posts #but i do appreciate the asks and i will try to get better at answering them #if nothing else then at least to thank for the ask that would at least be polite #so sorry again to you who've sent me an ask i swear i didn't ignore it i likely just got a little carried away and effed it up #maybe i should do an archive run one day and belatedly respond to old asks #though i don't know if the original askers even follow me anymore #but i did put a lot of effort into those replies so at least i could get those rambles out if nothing else

[angelltheninth]

I read this thing about how lovely it is to jack off a shy boy and the whole time I was thinking about Yuuta Okkotsu, so was wondering if you could write reader giving him a reach around? Please and thank you. n3n I think calling him a good boy and hearing his whimpers would be amazing

Oh man, you're totally right Anon, that would be so cute.

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu x Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, handjob, praise kink, whimpering, cum eating, shy!Yuta

A/N: Is there such a thing as a shyness kink? If there is I think I have that, I think shy people are super cute.

Shy!Yuta yelps when he feels your hand on his cock. He didn't think you'd notice his hard-on if he was quiet. But you did and you decided to do something about it, right now, which he didn't expect given his surprised expression.

Shy!Yuta tries to keep his voice down while you fish his cock out and start stroking it. There's no real reason for that, it's just the two of you alone, he could be as loud as he wants. He always was more on the quiet side though. You really hope to change that.

Shy!Yuta is too flustered to tell you to go faster. He would take any stroking pace you're willing to give him, the man isn't that picky really. Still you can tell on his face that he wants something, he should really ask you for things more often.

Shy!Yuta wraps his hand over yours and shows you the pace he likes best. Still he doesn't say a word about it, keeping it to whispers and moans as you stroke him faster, the broader, longer strokes that make his eyes roll back every time your warm palm rolls over his leaky tip.

Shy!Yuta can't even muster the courage to tell you how good he's feeling right now. All of his praise are half-words and half-moans. He can't even keep his eyes open fully, they're hazy and watery, half open watching as your hand goes up and down his cock.

Shy!Yuta rolls his hips into your hand when it stops moving. He's begging, wordlessly, for you to keep going. His cum is already dripping down your hand, he just needs a little more, a few more strokes until he's finished.

Shy!Yuta finally uses his words when he feels your breath on his sensitive cockhead. He's finally come to a point where he can't take it anymore, he has to ask you to keep going. Or else... or else he's gonna lose his god damn mind.

Shy!Yuta lets his eyes roll to the back of his head as you start stroking him again. His grip is strong on you, his words once again not understandable but at least he's letting them out, being vocal and telling what and how he needs it.

Shy!Yuta chokes on air when you praise him while licking all of his cum off his cock. This is his reward for being honest with his desires. He should really do it more often, come out of his shell a bit more, it's gonna get him even more rewards of he does.

Shy!Yuta is blushing so hard right now and even more when you kiss the tip of his cock right before swallowing all of the cum that you licked off it. He can't look you in the eye anymore. So he doesn't see the kiss coming when you place it on his lips.

#jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuta smut #yuuta smut #jjk headcanons #jjk imagines #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu smut #jjk x you #jjk yuta #yuta x reader #yuuta okkotsu smut

[dancingbirdie]

Okay so on Astarion, I was reading this fic about him not knowing Tavs true intentions with him and it bothering Astarion a lot, so what if he goes to some mage or magic user and asks them to show Tavs true intentions to him, when he does the vision he sees is just... being snuggled. It's Tav on top of him and the both of you are falling asleep, his hands are under your shirt softly petting your skin as your sleepy self is contently snuggled up to him. I just start crying about him finding out that Tavs DASTARDLY and EVIL plan with him, their greatest desire from him... is to simply be held. 🥺

Hi @goblin-creatcher! Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL prompt. I, uhh, kind of took it and went a million miles an hour with it. This is honestly one of my favorite things I've ever written. I hope you enjoy it as well! xoxoxo

Something Imagined / Something Real

Word Count: 3.9K

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav

Warnings/Tags: Brief but detailed description of rough consensual sex, descriptions and references to Astarion's trauma/trauma responses, minor Act 1 and Act 2 spoilers, FLUFF, angst

Suggested Song Pairing: Slow Dancing in A Burning Room (Stripped) - cover by ST LUNA

Summary: Astarion has been suspicious of Tav’s true intentions toward him. He persuades Gale to cast a spell and reveal her motivations. ANGST and FLUFF ensue. A rewriting of Astarion’s confession scene from Act 2.

The sun had just begun to set on the campsite when Astarion decided to put his plan into action. He had waited until Tav departed with some of the other party members before making his way over to the wizard. Gale was too busy reassembling the bookshelf inside his tent to notice Astarion’s approach. It wasn’t until he gave a polite cough that Gale jumped and whirled to face him. 

“No, no, no,” he began all at once, hands raised in a sort of shooing motion. Astarion stared at him in confusion. “I can respect Tav’s indulging in your need for blood, but as I’ve said before: I taste terrible.” 

Astarion scoffed. “Charming. Actually, wizard, I was coming to request your aid in a different, though somewhat related, matter.”

“Really? Care to elaborate?” Gale responded, still somewhat wary. It wasn’t often he found himself alone with the vampire. 

“Testy, I see,” Astarion crooned teasingly. His knee-jerk response to people treating him like a monster, to behave in the most false saccharine sort of way. 

But he drew up short, censoring himself before saying anything else he might regret. He knew he needed to get on the wizard’s good side if he had any chance of getting the answers he sought. 

“I was hoping you knew a spell to reveal someone’s true intentions. Their… motivations for behaving in a certain way, so to speak,” he finished more seriously. 

Gale pondered the question for a moment before answering. 

“Hmm… yes, there is magic to determine that sort of thing… Although it’s been some time since I practiced it…” He trailed off, rubbing his chin in thought. 

“Why are you asking for such a thing?” he asked suddenly. 

Astarion had been prepared for this question, of course. No one did anything for free, no questions asked. He delivered his explanation perfectly, as he’d been rehearsing in his mind.

“One might say our dear sweet Tav and I have been growing a bit… closer these days, but I can sense a master manipulator when I see one. I just simply want to ensure their intentions toward me - toward the party - are true,” he replied with mock innocence. 

“Ah, yes,” Gale nodded. “I gathered as much when the two of you slipped away from the tiefling’s party a few nights ago.” 

“But,” he continued on,”I needn’t think you should worry when it comes to Tav. She seems about as transparent as they come. I’m sure any intentions she has toward you are true.”

Yes, but the best actors always mask their motivations behind innocence and transparency, Astarion thought to himself. I should know. I’ve been doing it for centuries.

After the party’s unfortunate meeting with that Gur in the Sunlit Wetlands, Astarion realized he would have to take potential threats from Cazador even more seriously. He wasn’t about to lose his freedom, not now that he finally had some small taste of it. 

It didn’t hurt to be more suspicious of everyone he encountered, even the sweetling Tav. Anyone could be an operative sent by Cazador, and the best ones would be as skilled as he was in the art of manipulation. It was well-known at this point that the person he’d grown the closest to on their journey was their brave party leader, Tav. Unlikely as it may be that she was scheming for his master, Astarion’s paranoia wouldn’t let him indulge in interactions with her a second longer unless he knew how she truly felt. 

Given Gale’s hesitation, Astarion knew he would have to kick his acting up a notch. Press on that wizard’s heartstrings. Touch the one nerve he knew he was sensitive to.

“Gale, darling, from one literally damaged soul to another, indulge me just this once,” Astarion beseeched him. 

The wizard glared at him a moment, before finally relenting with a heavy sigh. “Fine. Fine. But I want it known that I don’t agree with this so-called solution one whit,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Yes, yes, noted and formally documented, on my word as a former Baldurian magistrate,” Astarion replied cheerily. “So, let’s hop to it then, shall we?”

“What, right now?” Gale asked, shocked. “Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, a little less conspicuous?” 

“What better time than now?” Astarion responded. “Tav’s out gathering firewood with Wyll and Karlach. They won’t be back for some time. As for Lae’zel and Shadowheart, well…” he paused, gesturing over his shoulder. 

Said two were engaged in a heated sparring session on the outskirts of the camp. Snarls and curses could be heard emanating from both warriors as they tried, and failed, to gain the upper hand against their opponent.

“That lovers’ dance could go on until morning,” Astarion finished. 

“Fair point,” Gale admitted begrudgingly, grimacing at the sound of swords clashing violently. “Very well. Let’s get started.” 

Clearing his throat, Gale began to utter a series of phrases completely foreign to Astarion. He watched as the wizard began moving his hands in a wavelike pattern, forming a circle before them. Suddenly, a mist began to form from seemingly thin air, taking shape according to the boundaries Gale’s hands were creating. The mist grew more and more opaque until it appeared before them like a clouded mirror. 

As the fogginess of the ethereal magic began to clear, the “mirror” became a confusing blur of scenes whipping by, too fast for Astarion or Gale to really comprehend. There were flashes of Tav and Astarion, together and separate, but they disappeared too quickly to ascertain their context. It was as though the spell was shuffling through the entirety of Tav’s thoughts, assessing each one at breakneck speed. 

Finally, the spell slowed to a halt, stopping on one scene in particular. Astarion was struck speechless by what began playing out in the foggy portal before them. So distracted, he didn’t even notice Gale’s tight cough, or how the wizard suddenly became intensely interested in a copse of trees nearby, rather than the revelation the spell was revealing.

Not that the scene was especially profound, objectively speaking. In fact, to anyone else, it might be viewed as the least revelatory thing possible that the spell could have shown. Boring. Inconsequential, even. But to Astarion, it was almost earth shattering. 

He saw himself - he could see his face! - with Tav, lying tangled together in some immaculate four-poster bed. 

That was the first shock that coursed through him, nearly causing his knees to buckle. He was seeing himself for the first time in over 200 years. Or at least, he was seeing himself as Tav saw him. And… the person he saw… Well, he was gorgeous. White blonde locks, curled and tousled in a devil-may-care sort of way. A strong, patrician nose that suggested good breeding. High, sharp cheekbones. Full lips, upturned in a thoughtless grin. Red eyes bordered by long, sweeping lashes. Delicately pointed elven ears. Smooth alabaster skin, without blemish or spot. 

Astarion could scarcely believe his own eyes. 

The second shock to his system was the nature of their activities. He would have been less surprised had the vision shown them fucking. Him taking her roughly from behind perhaps. His name a cry of ecstasy from her lips as he pistoned in and out of her with a feral sort of determination. 

Fantasies of lust, of total domination, now those were things he was familiar with inspiring in the minds of the victims he had taken as lovers. It was what he strove for, in all honesty. Desire like that all but ensured he would capture his prey and live to serve another day for his master. 

But nothing of the sort was occurring between vision-Tav and himself. Instead, they were just… embracing? What in sweet hells was this?

She lay halfway on top of him. Her hair was mussed, perhaps from sleep or perhaps from previous lovemaking. One hand was drawing absentminded shapes across his chest, her lips trailing behind, leaving kisses in their wake. He watched as vision-Astarion chuckled softly, as his hands slipped beneath her sleepshirt to caress her waist, as he placed an innocent kiss on the top of Tav’s head. Eventually, she reached for his hand. They both watched their fingers intertwine, blissfully content.

It was the purest, unadulterated expression of affection that Astarion had ever seen. Something in his heart quaked at the sight of it. He wanted that moment. He envied, he hated, vision-Astarion for enjoying such apparent happiness.

So absorbed in the vision and its implications, Astarion failed to notice the soft padding of feet that indicated someone’s re-entry into the camp. 

“If the two of you are quite finished poking around in my head,” an angry voice suddenly spat from behind them, “I’d appreciate you preserving what little privacy I have left and shutting that damn spell off.”

Mortified, Astarion and Gale turned to see Tav, arms crossed and visibly seething with rage. Gale quickly dispelled the magic with a flick of his wrist. A blush was slowly but surely rising up Tav’s neck to reach her cheeks. Whether from rage or embarrassment, Astarion couldn’t be certain. 

“Tav, let us explain-” Astarion started.

“It was his idea-” Gale blurted at the same time, pointing at Astarion. 

Both paused, glaring at one another. But Tav would have none of their feeble attempts at backpedaling. 

“The explanation doesn’t matter. Whose idea it was doesn’t matter. The fact is that both of you violated the privacy of my mind, which I’ll remind you, has ALREADY been violated by having a bloody tadpole forced inside of it!” Tav shouted. At their words, the camp became enveloped in a heavy silence. Even the crickets ceased their chirping.

Astarion cringed inwardly, knowing the other party members could plainly hear this altercation and had likely stopped whatever it was that they had been doing to listen in. He noted the sounds of swords clanging together had ceased. He was certain Lae’zel and Shadowheart at least were aware of what was happening. Nosy bastards, all of them.

But what disturbed him even more was the realization that Tav’s eyes were welling with tears. She was too proud to acknowledge them or wipe them away. Such was her nature. But they were there nonetheless, and the knowledge that Astarion had brought her to the point of tears was enough to spur a rush of utter self-loathing inside him.

Without another word, Tav turned on her heel and marched stiffly out of camp, toward the direction of a nearby creek they’d identified as a water source earlier in the day.

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to perform that spell,” Gale said as she disappeared between the trees. He dragged his hands down his face. 

“How could we have been so doltish, forgetting that all of our privacies have already been violated with this tadpole business?”

Astarion didn’t have an answer to that. At least, not one the wizard could possibly understand. 

The thought hadn’t occurred to Astarion, he realized, because violations of privacy had been something so intrinsic to his being for over 200 years. He didn’t even recognize it as something abnormal. Like a fish unaware that the water surrounding it is, in fact, water. 

Violations of privacy were a part of life, at least for him. So much so that his request for Gale to perform that magic hadn’t even occurred to him as an overstepping of boundaries. To Astarion, it had simply been a matter of survival. He had needed to know another potentially manipulative person’s true intentions, and so he had found a means to uncover it and maintain the upper hand. 

Belatedly, he also realized that Gale’s hesitation to cast the spell had had nothing to do with being inconvenienced for the evening, but because the wizard had known that it was improper to do to another person. If he had misread that, Astarion wondered, then what other truly benevolent behaviors had he mistaken as pragmatic manipulation?

“I need to go find her,” Astarion murmured, clenching and unclenching his fists in an uncharacteristic fit of uncertainty. 

“Yes, you do,” Gale asserted. “We both owe her a sincere apology… if she’ll even accept it.”

“I’ll see if I can convince her to come back to camp,” Astarion replied, making to leave in the direction Tav had stormed off. 

“Wait,” Gale said, a hand on his shoulder. Astarion turned to meet his gaze. 

“Look, well, I’m obviously not an expert in healthy demonstrations of affection. But I do think it’s obvious from what you saw in that spell that Tav well and truly cares about you. In perhaps the purest way possible. Treat that carefully.”

Part of Astarion wanted to laugh aloud in utter hopelessness at the wizard’s advice. Someone cared for him? Truly and purely? No hidden games, no strings attached? Oh certainly, that wouldn’t be a problem for Astarion at all. Obviously, his 200-year existence as a master-manipulator-fetch-hound for a power-hungry vampire lord had perfectly prepared him to respond to this situation in a healthy manner. Obviously.

But all that was too much to reveal to someone he barely knew and too heavy to say aloud. Rather than giving some smarmy retort, Astarion opted instead to give a stiff nod and continue walking toward the edge of camp. He had no idea how he could make things right with Tav, but at the very least he could try. 

***

He found Tav sitting on a fallen tree near the edge of the creek bed. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rested a cheek to her knees. In the waning twilight, she reminded Astarion of some misbegotten gargoyle perched on the roof of a temple, solitary and so very sad. 

Her ears twitched as she noted his arrival. Astarion wasn’t trying to be stealthy. On top of everything else, the last thing he needed to do was scare her. 

“Can I join you?” he asked softly, wincing to himself at the awkwardness of the question. 

The reality was that there was no way to broach this conversation without some stilted beginning, and he hated it. Navigating tricky conversations was normally something he excelled at. But as he was quickly finding, when it related to Tav, nothing in his past life had prepared him to respond to her well. 

“If you’d like,” Tav answered tonelessly. 

Knowing it was probably the best response he was going to get, Astarion swallowed thickly and moved to sit down on the log next to her. 

“I… wanted to… apologize for what you saw, back at camp,” he began.

“Apologize for doing it, or apologize for getting caught?” Tav asked as she turned her head to look at him, resting her other cheek on her knees. 

Astarion balked at the question. Her piercing gaze unnerved him. He hadn’t really thought that far. 

“Both, I suppose?” he answered honestly, although it sounded more like a question to Tav. She huffed a laugh.

“You know, part of me really wants to yell at you. Scream in your face. Tell you off proper,” she mused.

“So why don’t you?” Astarion asked, perplexed. 

Tav didn’t respond at first, just sat there studying him. As if by staring at him long enough, she could project the answer into his mind. 

Astarion didn’t interrupt her, much as he would have liked to. Part of him always bristled when people gazed at him for too long. It was unfair that they could study him, when he hadn’t been able to so much as glance at his reflection in over 200 years. 

Finally, Tav released a heavy sigh, her body curling further in on itself. She closed her eyes as she spoke.

“Because then I would be just like every other bastard in your life who’s mistreated you.”

Astarion flinched in surprise. Those had not been the sort of words he’d been expecting. The truth of them cut deeper than had she raged at him like she wanted to. It left him feeling even more vulnerable, and that in turn made him want to retreat into the comfort of viciousness.

“I don’t need you to pull any punches,” he scoffed, glaring at her. “Go ahead and say what you will.”

She straightened up at his tone, opening her eyes and returning his glare. 

“No. I don’t want to,” she said testily.

“I don’t need your pity,” he hissed. “It’s insulting.”

“Gods damn it all, Astarion!” Tav exclaimed suddenly, causing him to jump in surprise. She threw her hands up in defeat. “I’m not doing anything out of pity! I don’t want to rage at you, because I know that whatever I say right now, I won’t mean it come the morning!”

Astarion blinked. Once again he was left feeling flat footed by the turn of the conversation. Sensing his surprise, Tav continued on with her deluge of words.

“You hurt me tonight, and I’m angry at you - and at Gale, for that matter - for what you did. But you’ve shared enough of your… history… with me, that I realize your behavior is just… just a byproduct of centuries of abuse and manipulation you’ve endured! And I won’t be another abuser in your life. I won’t,” she asserted. 

Astarion continued staring at her, as if she were some otherworldly creature that had just wandered across his path. He watched as Tav inhaled a deep breath, releasing it shakily. She turned away from him to peer out into the forest, uncertain. She opened and closed her mouth several times before actually speaking. As if whatever she was about to say was more intimidating to her than anything else she’d said tonight. 

“I… care deeply for you, Astarion,” she said quietly. “You obviously saw that in the vision. I’m not playing any games. There’s no hidden motive. I’m not trying to manipulate you.”

She turned to look at him again before continuing, her breathing a bit unsteady. 

“I didn’t sleep with you that night of the tiefling party as some sort of maneuver to gain your trust. Although I understand if that was your motivation for doing so.” 

Astarion’s expression morphed into one of guilt. But Tav nodded soberly, as if she had already expected it, before continuing on. 

“It’s okay. I’m not angry. But I’m putting all my cards on the table now, so to speak. Actually, your decision tonight forced my hand, but I had been planning on telling you soon anyway. So, there you have it. The truth of my intentions. What you do with that information is up to you.”

She turned back to gaze out at their surroundings. Like she was giving him the opportunity to bolt away without her watching him. As if she expected him to flee from her confession. 

But Astarion didn’t flee. He remained seated, staring at her in complete wonderment. 

“Why?” he asked quietly.

She looked back at him again, confusion evident on her face. 

“Why what?”

“Why do you care for me? You’re so… well-adjusted. And I’m well… this,” he finished lamely, placing a hand on his chest. 

Tav pursed her lips. “It would be a mistake to misconstrue my empathy for you as me being well-adjusted. Everyone has their own demons, Astarion,” she murmured. “Mine just look different from yours.”

Astarion mulled her words over in his mind, considering them. He leaned forward to brace his forearms on his knees, his head drooping slightly. 

“I…,” he started, unsure. “That vision… what it implied… You deserve something real, Tav. You’re incredible… truly.” 

Tav closed her eyes, bracing for the fallout. Even though she would accept his decision, whatever it was, she didn’t think she could bear to watch him deny her. It would hurt too much. 

“Look. When we met, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan,” he blurted all at once. Rising swiftly to his feet, Tav watched as he began to pace before her, near to bursting with frenetic energy. 

“Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he counted off, laughing half-heartedly. “It was… easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do… was not fall for you… which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart,” he finished, stopping to stand before her. 

She held his gaze, speechless. 

“I want you,” he whispered fervently. “I want what was in that vision… I want us to be something real.”

Never in a million years had she thought he would respond to her like this. She opened her mouth to speak, but Astarion cut her off with another sudden exclamation. 

“I just don’t know what real is,” he confessed, his tone a touch hysterical. Tav knew from his body language that being this transparent was completely out of Astarion’s comfort zone. 

“Being… close to someone - any kind of intimacy - was something I performed to lure people back. For him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels… tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust, and loathing. I… I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to,” he finished, staring at her with beseeching eyes, willing her to understand.

Tav rose to her feet, coming to stand before him. 

“I don’t want you for your body,” she whispered. “Or to perform any acts of intimacy. We can be together, without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”

“Really,” he asked softly, his voice pitched low, rough with emotion.

“Really,” Tav asserted, giving him a small smile. “Would it be all right if…” she paused, conflicted. He eyed her curiously.

“Could I hug you?” she whispered.

The fact that she asked before doing so caused a well of emotion to spring up inside him. Eyes watering, Astarion nodded. 

Slowly, Tav moved forward to wrap her arms around his waist. Her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. A perfect fit. He felt her exhale a deep sigh.

Tav hugging him was a sensation unlike any he had ever felt. At least, any he could remember feeling. The act of being touched, embraced, without any desire for something more. She just wanted to hold him, feel him close to her. It was incomprehensible to him, but utterly enjoyable, at the same time. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Astarion raised his arms to return Tav’s embrace. Drawing her even closer, he bowed his head to rest his cheek against her hair. It was soft, like the finest silk. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, appreciating her sweet, floral scent.   

She made to pull away after a moment, not wishing to overwhelm him. But Astarion gripped her more firmly, a silent urge for them to stay that way a little longer. 

“This… this is nice,” he whispered. 

He both felt and heard Tav hum contentedly in response. 

It wasn’t identical to the vision from Tav’s mind that he had seen, but Astarion reveled in their embrace nonetheless. It felt like the beginning of something new. And for the first time in his very, very long life, Astarion felt excited at the prospects of what would come next. 

#astarion #dancingbirdiewrites #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate astarion #baldur’s gate astarion #astarion x f!reader #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion fic #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic

[alfheimr]

My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes

i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:

this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.

the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.

this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.

i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.

for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.

note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!

note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!

with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?

the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.

so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.

these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!

you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.

this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.

let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.

gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:

some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.

for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.

here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.

i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?

i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.

yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.

i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.

i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.

the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.

typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!

this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.

let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.

just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?

#process #art tutorial #unsure what else to tag this as. if this does not post properly i will cry.