#i should really start on horace’s video

[dragonsdendoodles]

SO GANG HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE

#i for one am EXCITED #literally screaming #it comes out a week after classes start and i will be ditching to read this sorry college i have a new book #putting this in the miss peregrine tag so people see it but i’m gonna tag the actual book from now on #what are we tagging for this? sunderverse? title? acronym since title is long? #all three today i guess #i should really start on horace’s video #mphfpc #the extraordinary disappointments of leopold berry #tedolb #sunderworld #that’s a weird ass acronym ngl #Instagram #how did i mess up the fucking series title my god

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Apparently Hogwarts Legacy will let you be evil/go on a darker path but only if you’re a Slytherin for some reason? I don’t know if the Slytherin bit is true for sure, that’s just what I’ve been hearing tho. But if it is true then it’s kinda cool that they’ll let players choose what kind of morals their characters have but if it’s only for Slytherin MCs then that’s pretty lame. Why do they only get the choice but players with MCs in other houses apparently don’t?

You-

You gotta be kidding me.

Welp, you heard it here first. Playing Slytherin gives you a genuine advantage of over playing any other House. And by that I mean, the full in-game system is only available if you play Slytherin. What the hell is this nonsense...I can only hope this is a false rumor, or, barring that, modders get to work with adding an update that lets characters of any House choose the dark side as well. And if the devs are reading this, it's not too late fix this if it's real!

But beyond how limiting this would be in the actual game...I really just don't like what this is implying about the wizarding world at all? I thought...I kinda thought we were past this? Y'know, I'm someone who has never really gotten on board with the idea that "Rowling hates Slytherins" because, like, I understand that the isolation of Slytherin House was part of the point of their story, so giving them "better" representation within the original seven books wouldn't work, as their story wouldn't make as much sense.

But this isn't an adaptation of the books. (Even if it were, it's a damn video game, the option to go dark side should be available to players of all houses.) This is a different era altogether. Yes, I know that Slytherin has always been the House that dangles closest to the Dark Side, even after the Voldemort Wars, but this is like taking Hagrid's line from Philosopher's Stone about how "There's not a witch or wizard who went bad that wasn't in Slytherin" as gospel. And frankly, that line was always senseless and prejudiced, since Harry's own parents were betrayed by a Gryffindor Death Eater.

This is just a very immature take on the Hogwarts Houses. None of them are automatically good or evil. None of the traits prized by the Four Founders are evil, not inherently. The Houses are all collectives of people (of children, no less) who are constantly gaining and losing members as people arrive and graduate. What is this, Deathly Hallows Part 2, where we shove all of them in the dungeons? (I have never forgiven the films for that, least of all for having McGonagall be the one to call for it. She would never-) This makes it feel like Rowling actually does hate Slytherins after all, or someone on the development team does.

I know it has problems. I know the history of Salazar Slytherin. How racism toward muggles persisted for years and infected Slytherin House. It created an echo chamber (really, all of the Houses were echo chambers, so this was a danger for all of them) where the racist ideas were never challenged, so the Slytherin kids grew up into racist adults who taught the same bigotry to their kids from the cradle. They proceeded to be Sorted into Slytherin as well, the House that everyone else hates, so they had only each other to talk to...starting the whole cycle all over again. It's a problem.

But racism and The Dark Arts aren't synonymous. They often go hand in hand, sure. But not always. A curiosity about The Dark Arts isn't exclusive to Slytherin, anymore than ideas of pureblood supremacy. It's also a humongous generalization to act as though every kid in Slytherin is just a budding Death Eater (or their generation's equivalent) because, like...even within the books, we have Horace Slughorn? We also have Regulus and Snape, who may have started out on that path, but ultimately proved to be better people. And HPHM handles this best, giving us memorable and good people like Barnaby Lee and Liz Tuttle. Actually, while it does have it's problems, HPHM is basically doing everything right that HPHL is doing wrong.

Just...on top of what I've been hearing about the game's plot, and how it's supposedly about one of the Goblin Rebellions...it just feels like the creators are trying to fan the flames. The Harry Potter brand is already in trouble. Making the plot of this game be about the heavily criticized Goblins, who( intentionally or not) came across as a Jewish sterotype...apparently that wasn't enough? They're also provoking the fandom by suggesting that Evil = Slytherin and no one else? This is a prank, right? I'm definitely being punked here?

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Legacy #Slytherin House

[marginalgloss]

I turn 35 tomorrow. How better to celebrate that than with some notes on the handful of video games I have managed to finish over the last ten months. In no particular order:

Judgment (PS4)

Something I think about often is that there aren’t many games which are set in the real world. By this I man the world in which we live today. You can travel through ancient Egypt or take a trip through the stars in the far future, but it’s relatively rare to be shown a glimpse of something familiar. Hence the unexpected popularity of the new release of Microsoft Flight Simulator, which lets you fly over a virtual representation of your front porch, as well as the Grand Canyon, and so on.

I found something like the same appeal in Judgment, a game which took me longer than anything else listed here to finish — seven or eight months, on and off. Like the Yakuza games to which it is a cousin, it’s set in Kamurocho, a fictional district of a real-world Tokyo; unlike other open-world games, it renders a space of perhaps half a square mile in intense detail. I spent a long time in this game wandering around slowly in first-person view, looking at menus and in the windows of shops and restaurants. The attention to detail is unlike everything I have ever seen, from the style of an air conditioning unit to the range of Japanese whiskies on sale in a cosy backstreet bar. And this was a thing of value at a time when the thought of going anywhere else at all, let alone abroad, seemed like it was going to be very difficult for a very long time.

It’s a game of at least three discrete parts. One of them is a fairly cold-blooded police procedural/buddy cop story: you play an ex-lawyer turned private eye investigating a series of grisly murders that, inevitably, link back to your own murky past. In another part you run around the town getting into hilarious martial arts escapades, battering lowlifes with bicycles and street furniture. In another, you can while away your hours playing meticulous mini-games that include darts, baseball, poker, Mahjong and Shogi — and that’s before we even get to the video game arcades.

All these parts are really quite fun, and if you want to focus on one to the exclusion of the others, the game is totally fine with that. The sudden tonal shifts brought about by these crazy and abrupt shifts in format are, I think, essentially unique to video games. But the scope of Judgment is a thing all its own. As a crafted spectacle of escapist fiction it’s comprehensive, and in its own way utterly definitive.  

Mafia: Definitive Edition (PS4)

I was amazed when I found out they were doing a complete remake of Mafia, a game I must have finished at least three or four times in the years after its release back in 2002. Games from this era don’t often receive the same treatment as something like Resident Evil, where players might be distracted by the controls and low-poly graphics of the original. 

A quality remake makes it easier for all kinds of reasons to appreciate what was going on there. (Not least because they have a lot of new games in the same series to sell.) But in the early 00s PC games like this one had started to get really big and ambitious, and had (mostly) fixed issues with controls; so there’s a hell of a lot more stuff going on in Mafia than in most games of that era. It was also a very hard game, with all kinds of eccentricities that most big titles don’t attempt today. Really I have no idea how this remake got made at all. 

But I was so fond of the original I had to play it. The obvious: it looks fantastic, and the orchestral soundtrack is warm and evocative. The story is basic, but for the era it seemed epic, and it’s still an entertaining spectacle. The original game got the balance of cinematic cutscenes, driving and action right the first time, even while Rockstar were still struggling to break out of the pastiche-led GTA III and Vice City. 

They have made it easier. You’re still reliant on a handful of medical boxes in each level for healing, but you get a small amount of regenerating health as well. You no longer have to struggle to keep your AI companions alive. Most of the cars are still heavy and sluggish, but I feel like they’re not quite as slow as they once were. They’ve changed some missions, and made some systems a little more comfortable — with sneaking and combat indicators and so on — but there aren’t any really significant additions.

The end result of all this is that it plays less like an awkward 3D game from 2002, and more like a standard third-person shooter from the PS3/360 era. Next to virtually any other game in a similar genre from today, it feels a bit lacking. There’s no skill tree, no XP, no levelling-up, no crafting, no side-missions, no unusual weapons or equipment, no alternative routes through the game. And often all of that stuff is tedious to the extreme in new titles, but here, you really feel the absence of anything noteworthy in the way of systems. 

My options might have been more limited in 2002 but back then the shooting and driving felt unique and fun enough that I could spend endless hours just romping around in Free Ride mode. Here, it felt flat by comparison; it felt not much different to Mafia III, which I couldn’t finish because of how baggy it felt and how poorly it played, in spite of it having one of the most interesting settings of any game in recent years. But games have come a long way in twenty years.    

Hypnospace Outlaw (Nintendo Switch)

If this game is basically a single joke worked until it almost snaps then it is worked extremely well. 

It seems to set itself up for an obvious riff on the way in which elements of the web which used to be considered obnoxious malware (intrusive popups and so on) have since become commonplace, and sometimes indispensable, parts of the online browsing experience. But it doesn’t really do that, and I think that’s because it’s a game which ends up becoming a little too fascinated by its own lore. 

The extra science fiction patina over everything is that technically this isn’t the internet but a sort of psychic metaverse delivered over via a mid-90s technology involving a direct-to-brain headset link. I don’t know that this adds very much to the game, since the early days of the internet were strange enough without actually threatening to melt the brains of its users. 

(This goes back to what I said about Judgment - I sometimes wonder if it feels easier to make a game within a complete fiction like this, rather than simply placing it in the context of the nascent internet as it really was. Because this way you don’t have to worry too much about authenticity or realism; this way the game can be as outlandish as it needs to be.) 

But, you know. It’s a fun conceit. A clever little world to romp around in for a while. 

Horace (Nintendo Switch)

I don’t know quite where to begin with describing this. One of the oddest, most idiosyncratic games I’ve played in recent years. 

As I understand it this platformer is basically the creation of two people, and took about six years to make. You start out thinking this is going to be a relatively straightforward retro run-and-jump game — and for a while, it is — but then the cutscenes start coming. And they keep coming. You do a lot of watching relative to playing in this game, but it’s forgivable because they are deeply, endearingly odd. 

It’s probably one of the most British games I’ve ever played in terms of the density and quality of its cultural references. And that goes for playing as well as watching; there’s a dream sequence which plays out like Space Harrier and driving sequences that play out like Outrun. There are references to everything from 2001 to the My Dinner with Abed episode of Community. And it never leans into any of it with a ‘remember that?’ knowing nod — it’s all just happening in the background, littered like so much cultural detritus. 

A lot of it feels like something that’s laser-targeted to appeal to a certain kind of gamer in their mid-40s. And, not being quite there myself, a lot of it passed me by. Horace is not especially interested in a mass appeal — it’s not interested in explaining itself, and it doesn’t care if you don’t like the sudden shifts in tone between heartfelt sincerity and straight-faced silliness. But as a work of singular creativity and ambition it’s simply a joyous riot. 

Horizon: Zero Dawn (PS4)

I stopped playing this after perhaps twelve or fifteen hours. There is a lot to like about it; it still looks stunning on the PS4 Pro; Aloy is endearing; the world is beautiful to plod around. But other parts of it seem downright quaint. It isn’t really sure whether it should be a RPG or an action game. And I’m surprised I’ve never heard anyone else mention the game’s peculiar dedication to maintaining a shot/reverse shot style throughout dialogue sequences, which is never more than tedious and stagey.

The combat isn’t particularly fun. Once discovered most enemies simply become enraged and blunder towards you, in some way or another; your job is to evade them, ensnare them or otherwise trip them up, then either pummel them into submission or chip away at their armour till they become weak enough to fall. I know enemy AI hasn’t come on in leaps and bounds in recent years but it’s not enough to dress up your enemies as robot dinosaurs and then expect a player to feel impressed when they feel like the simplest kind of enrageable automata. Oh, and then you have to fight human enemies too, which feels like either an admission of failure or an insistence that a game of this scale couldn’t happen without including some level of human murder. 

I don’t have a great deal more to say about it. It’s interesting to me that Death Stranding, which was built on the same Decima engine, kept the frantic and haphazard combat style from Horizon, but went to great lengths to actively discourage players from getting into fights at all. (It also fixed the other big flaw in Horizon — the flat, inflexible traversal system — and turned that into the centrepiece of the game.) 

Disco Elysium (PS4)

In 2019 I played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons. I’m talking about the actual tabletop roleplaying game, not any kind of video game equivalent. For week after week a group of us from work got together and sort of figured it out, and eventually developed not one but two sprawling campaigns of the never-ending sort. We continued for a while throughout the 2020 lockdown, holding our sessions online via Roll20, but it was never quite the same. After a while, as our life circumstances changed further, it sort of just petered out.

I mention all this because Disco Elysium is quite clearly based around the concept of a computerised tabletop roleplaying game (aka CRPG). My experience of that genre is limited to the likes of Baldurs Gate, the first Pillars of Eternity and the old Fallout games, so I was expecting to have to contend with combat and inventory management. What I wasn’t expecting was to be confronted with the best novel I’ve read this year.

To clarify: I have not read many other novels this year, by my standards. But, declarations of relative quality aside, what I really mean is that this game is, clearly and self-consciously, a literary artefact above all. It is written in the style of one of those monolithic nineteenth century novels that cuts a tranche through a society, a whole world — you could show it to any novelist from at least the past hundred years and they would understand pretty well what is going on. It is also wordy in every sense of that term: there’s a lot of reading to do, and the text is prolix in the extreme. 

You could argue it’s less a game than a very large and fairly sophisticated piece of interactive fiction. The most game-like aspects of it are not especially interesting. It has some of the stats and the dice-rolling from table-top roleplaying games, but this doesn’t sit comfortably with the overtly literary style elsewhere. Health and morale points mostly become meaningless when you can instantly heal at any time and easily stockpile the equivalent of health potions. And late on in the game, when you find yourself frantically changing clothes in order to increase your chances of passing some tricky dice roll, the systems behind the game start to feel somewhat disposable. 

Disco Elysium is, I think, a game that is basically indifferent to its own status as a game. Nothing about it exists to complement its technological limitations, and nor is it especially interested in the type of unique possibilities that are only available in games. You couldn’t experience Quake or Civilisation or the latest FIFA in any other format; but a version of Disco Elysium could have existed on more or less any home computer in about the last thirty years. And, if we were to lose the elegant art and beautiful score, and add an incredibly capable human DM, it could certainly be played out as an old-fashioned tabletop game not a million miles from Dungeons and Dragons.

All of the above is one of the overriding thoughts I have about this game. But it doesn’t come close to explaining what it is that makes Disco Elysium great.

#gaming #judgment #horace #disco elysium #horizon zero dawn #hypnospace outlaw

[houseofsannae]

A Fistful of Munny - Extended End Notes

Notes for A Fistful of Munny that don’t fit within the character limit under the cut!

Please, read the fic before reading this post

           All right! Welcome to the extended notes, in which I go into excruciating detail over a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter, because I like the sound of my own voice!

           Let’s start with some more broad stuff that didn’t make the exclusive end notes space. To do the Fistful of Dollars homage, I needed a place where I could have two villainous factions intersecting for Strelitzia to play against one another. After some brainstorming and asking for help from other people working on the Entwined in Trine Sorikai zine (and ultimately ignoring all their very good suggestions (Sorry, guys!)), I eventually realized that the Wasteland from Epic Mickey was a perfect place for this story, both in the sense of having mooks to destroy without Strels committing actual murder, and in the thematic sense of forgotten characters. There was just one issue.

           I hadn’t played Epic Mickey.

           And that is how I spent my summer, playing both Epic Mickey games. Both, because I was looking for a good location to set the story in in-world. Since the Wasteland is based on the Disney theme parks, I was hoping to find one based on Frontierland, their Western section. Such a location did exist – Disney Gulch – but only in the second game. Which meant I had to play Epic Mickey 2, as well. (The first one is a better game, but that’s not really the fault of the developers; they were not given the time they needed to make it as good as the first one. Here’s a video with trivia about the series that goes a little into the development.) I also needed to learn the Mad Doctor’s ultimate fate, since I wanted his Beetleworx/Blotworx to be one of the two villainous factions. In the game, depending on whether you chose the Paint (Paragon) or Thinner (Renegade) path, the Doc is either redeemed… or dead. Neither of which was helpful, so I had to invent.

           But let’s talk about characters and why I picked them in order. The short version for why these choices, at least on the Final Fantasy side, is set-up for later. Obviously I can’t go into detail why. Before that, let’s talk about the Beanie Baby.

           Chi is, as I hope you were able to guess, Strelitzia’s Chirithy. I’ve brought it up several times, but I personally do not like mascot characters. There are a few exceptions, but Chirithies are not one of them. Like I said, KHUx isn’t what happened in this AU, so you’ll have to wait for in-universe answers on why it’s a cat now. Out-of-universe reason is this was the only way I could make it palatable for myself. I arbitrarily decided on a gender for it because as a real cat, it would have a sex. Canonically Chirithies appear to be genderless, and in Japanese refer to themselves with the gender-neutral (but masculine-leaning) boku. I would’ve left Chi that way, save for the fact that he’s a completely normal cat now. (And before you ask, no, not every real cat that appears in KHΨ from this point on is a Chirithy.)

           As for Strelitzia herself, it’s hard for me to pick up a character’s voice when they’re… not voiced. Intonation and cadence do a lot for me mimicking the way a character talks, so it’s a bit more difficult when they don’t technically speak. I tried for a mix between Sora and Kairi, while still keeping her defining character traits of being shy, but also impulsive.

           You may notice that while she’s started remembering faces, if not names, the Player’s name and face still eludes her, despite her (canonical. Deal with it.) crush on them. There is a story reason for this, and will become clear once Luxu takes centre stage.

           The name “Jane” was chosen with more consideration than just “Jane Doe” being the standard name in (at least my corner of) the English-speaking world for a woman of unknown identity. See, the Man With No Name actually has three names. In A Fistful of Dollars, he is referred to (by one character in one scene, once) as “Joe”. “Joan” might have been a more clear homage, but I figure Jane makes sense. And as you might guess, in the next fic, Strels will be going by a different name, still not her own. She’ll remember her name… eventually.

           One might think I could’ve picked any old Cid, and one would be wrong for reasons I can’t explain yet. In fact, I can’t explain much of anything surrounding him yet. What I can say is no, Cidney Aurum is not dead, she’s just not related to Cid Sophiar in this fic verse. An unfortunate consequence of where I wanted to put each of them in the narrative; making them not be related was the only way it made any sense, geographically speaking.

           Hyperion on the other hand, I can talk about. He’s one of the Gremlins in Epic Mickey, and… wait, first things first. Gremlins are from an abandoned Disney film based on a Roald Dahl book, itself based on the cryptids that supposedly haunted airplanes and caused them to malfunction, the earliest known written-down mention of the concept being from the 1920s. The film never got made, but the designs Disney would have used were adapted into a second printing of Dahl’s book, and they were later used in Epic Mickey. Hyperion is, like the publishing imprint that Disney owns, named after a street that Walt Disney used to live on. In-game, Hyperion is in Bog Easy (based on the Haunted Mansion), not Disney Gulch, but his name stuck out to me as being particularly fun, so I picked him instead of trying to figure out what Gremlins actually are in the Gulch (they have names in the files of Epic Mickey 2, but not in the actual game, so it would have been a hunt).

           Regardless of where the setting ended up, for the second villainous faction, I was always going to plop down the good old Don. More things I can’t talk about. For everything FF7, know that I’m always going to be pulling from a mix of the original game, Remake, and Machinabridged. Hence, Corneo’s outfit is a mix of his original and Remake designs (which basically just means he’s wearing blue jeans instead of brown). I didn’t think bringing in his three lieutenants from Remake was necessary, especially since this was supposed to be a kind-of small operation.

           Leslie is picked up and dropped from Remake pretty much unchanged. I needed someone to do the murders Strels couldn’t, and even if he’s not a complete asshole, he’s still mostly an asshole. Have we ever seen small, Materia-like balls used to cast magic before…?

           Onto the fun bits, which is the Disney characters. We’ll start with Percy, who is from a Goofy short called “How to Ride a Horse”, from 1950. And that’s about it. The conceit in Wasteland is that all of the Toons there were basically actors, and they wound up in Wasteland if they were forgotten (that’s not exactly correct, but I’m generalizing). This is interesting, since two of the Toons in Epic Mickey are Horace Horsecollar and Clarabelle Cow, both of whom… are residents of Disney Town in Kingdom Hearts, having shown up in Birth by Sleep. So that’s an interesting continuity snarl that I’m going to just ignore.

           Persephone and Pluto, on the other hand, are from an earlier short called “The Goddess of Spring”, from 1934. It was one of the projects Disney tried as practice for Snow White. If you’re about to protest that his name should be Hades, not Pluto, then you’re going to need a time machine so you can tell them back in the 30s. The Goddess of Spring is a musical, in the sense that every single line is sung. Watch it for yourself. There’s a video with better quality floating around YouTube, but for some reason it’s the French dub. And that’s why both of them sing most of their lines. I tried matching the meter of their actual parts, but Persephone’s doesn’t actually follow a syllabic pattern that I could make out. I eventually gave up and just gave her the meter from the start of the short. Pluto’s was easier to manage (and more consistent).

           The skeletons are Disney veterans, presumably the same ones from “The Skeleton Dance” (1929), but more specifically they’re mimicking what they did in “The Mad Doctor” (1933), the first appearance of our other villain. They’re fun.

           The original Mad Doctor was supposedly named “Dr. XXX”, according to the name on his door. This was before the modern film rating system was put in place; it was a different time. In the original short, the Mad Doctor kidnaps Pluto (the dog) with the intent of cutting him in half and putting his front half on a chicken For Science!, and Mickey follows him to his castle to rescue the purloined pooch. The short wasn’t a musical in the same vein as “The Goddess of Spring”, but… the Mad Doctor’s only spoken lines were a song (aside from evil cackling). While I had already decided to do the “Toons that sang in their short can only communicate through song” with Persephone and Pluto before starting on Epic Mickey 2, I hilariously discovered that the game developers had done the exact same gag with the Mad Doctor, most of his lines in the game being sung. (In Epic Mickey there were no fully voiced lines, so he speaks as normally as anyone else does). Which made it easier to write his songs here, since I could just rewrite his songs from the game. I used to write alternate lyrics for songs back in high school, so this was an interesting trip back in time for me. They were stuck in my head for weeks afterwards, but it was worth it.

           I believe that’s everything for the characters. Let’s talk about Keyblades.

           It irks me that three people in KHUx have the same Keyblade. Ephemer, Skuld, and Strelitzia all have variations of Starlight. Now, in KHΨ, there is only one Starlight, and it belongs to Luxu, so I’m going to have to decide on different Keyblades for each of them. (Ephemer’s has already been decided, and I haven’t started brainstorming for Skuld yet. No I do not need suggestions, thank you). Pixie Petal bears a noted (by KHWiki) resemblance to one of Marluxia’s alternate scythes, so that tangential connection was enough for me. Both siblings have flower-themed Keyblades – it makes sense to me.

           You might notice a few disparities in the magic. These are on purpose, and will eventually make sense. And that’s all I can say on that at the moment. ;)

           Oh, yes, one important thing I probably should have said on the main notes: I’m not going for a realistic depiction of amnesia here. Anything I got right was entirely accidental, and I’m fairly certain there’s not much. There might be a story reason for why it works the way it does… and it might be the same reason why other people from KHUx have or had amnesia in the present day…

           You know what’s funny? Although Orcuses look more impressive than Invisibles, their stats in Days are actually worse. I’m fairly sure that this is because the only time we see an Orcus, it’s actually an illusion cast over Xion so that Roxas will fight her to the death. There are no other stats for them (according to KHWiki), since they’ve never been used elsewhere.

           A friendly reminder that Apprentice Xehanort invented the term “Heartless”, which was why Aqua didn’t know what to call them until Mickey told her. Thus, nobody from the era of the Keyblade War should know the term “Heartless” without being told by someone in present day. “Darkling” was the term they used instead. I’m fairly certain KHUx ignores the continuity on this (so why should we trust its continuity for anything else, hmm?)

           I think that covers everything! Or at least everything I’m willing to share at this point. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate your dedication! ^_^

#kingdom hearts Ψ #fanfic #kingdom hearts #strelitzia #fic notes #a fistful of munny

[kys0g0i]

Always

Pairing(s): One-Sided Romantic Moceit, Brotherly Anxceit

Started: March 14th, 2020, 1:21 AM

Finished: March 31st, 2020, 11:04 AM

Word Count: 2670 words

Warnings: Unsympathetic Patton, One-sided/toxic relationship, Cheating, Manipulating, Yelling at someone, Nonconsensual kissing

Summary: There’s only so much you can forgive someone for.

[Masterlist]

— — —

Horace hadn’t meant to fall for Patton Lov. It had been an accident, really. Patton was sweet, lovely, and kind. And Horace was... well, not that. He was a harsh, cruel, and a liar. Something that most didn’t look for when searching for a lover or a person to even try and befriend. But, here he was, heads over heels for the boy.

Patton Lov was a preppy boy. Curly light brown hair, sky blue eyes, and white, sunkissed skin. He wore pastel colors, usually very feminine clothes, and huge circular glasses. Horace, on the other hand, was more of the loner type, only willingly talking to two other people in his school, Remus Grimm and Virgil Anx. He had vitiligo, which made his dark skin lighter on the left half of him, for the most part. (He wasn’t self-conscious of it, he actually really liked it. He just didn’t appreciate how some of his peers would stare at him until he snapped at or embarrassed them.) Dark hazel eyes and short, curly hair that he almost always had hidden behind a yellow beanie. He almost always wore a black zip-up hoodie with either a grey or yellow undershirt, and dark blue ripped jeans that cuffed up just a little bit before they reached his yellow converse.

He didn’t think of himself as ugly, though not particularly attractive either. More of a middle ground between the two categories, but definitely not good looking enough for the likes of Patton to even so much as notice him. (Not that it bothered him. It /absolutely didn’t./) So when Horace had found himself friends with the boy, and much much later down the line, in a relationship with Patton? He was... a bit more than surprised or shocked.

“-ace? Horace!”

Horace snapped out of his daze with a small jump, blinking as he glanced towards the voice. It was his boyfriend, who was leaning against him. They were sat on the couch, watching some random movie. He had his arm around the blue-eyed boy, who he couldn’t tell if he looked pleased with the action or not. “Patton.” He replied back calmly.

“Did you even hear me?” Patton moodily complained, arms crossed.

“...Yes?”

The preppy boy grumbled dramatically at his response. “I said, that I wanted you to tell me you loved me.”

Horace, though not a fan of his tone, smiled down at him adoringly. Shifting so he could reach him easier, he pressed a kiss to Patton’s head, making him give a giggle that made his heart leap. “I love you, sweetheart.” He softly cooed. “More then you could ever know.”

Patton smiled up at him. “Always?” He asked. “You’ll always love me?”

Horace softened, pulling his love closer to him.

“Always.”

•

Horace quickly silently moved around the room with a smile, throwing a jacket on and tucking his hair into his usual yellow beanie before going over to his desk to retrieve his wallet. He couldn’t wait, not even for Patton to wake up, who had spent the night with him. He had been waiting for ages for the next game in his favorite series to come out, and it was finally here. He had spent so long saving up money while still trying to set aside almost all of his money for college, leaving some to take Patton out or get him something, and still trying to keep his grades up, he couldn’t believe he had managed to choke up the cash for it.

Picking up the brown wallet, he checked inside, wanting to make sure the sixty dollars were still there. But at what Horace saw made his blood run cold.

The money... all sixty dollars... just... gone.

Feeling panic start to rise in him, the brown-eyed boy began to frantically search for the missing money in the other wallet pockets, and when he didn’t find it there, he began to look through the entire room. He had managed to get through his whole desk before Patton finally woke up from the commotion.

Patton yawned as he woke up, reaching over to the bedside table to be able to put on his circular glasses before looking over at Horace annoyedly with narrowed eyes. “What the heck are you doing?” He asked, rubbing the sleep from his blue eyes and moving to the edge of the bed so he could see the other male easier.

“I, I can’t fucking-“

“Language.”

“I can’t freaking find my money. My sixty dollars. It, it was just in my wallet a day or so ago!”

Patton let out a long and quiet sigh, before speaking up five seconds later. “Oh, Horace, I spent that two days ago.” He said calmly. “Whenever we went to that one restaurant.”

Horace felt his stomach drop as he whipped around to look at his boyfriend with a look of devastation. “You what?” He asked with horror. “Patton, I spent so long saving up for this! You know how much this meant to me! I promised Virgil I would get this game for us to play tonight! Is that money what you used to pay for our bill, when you said you... you would...”

He didn’t have the strength to go on as soon as he heard Patton’s sobs. He had his head lowered, hands tightly gripping the fabric of his pajama pants as tears fell from his face. “Why are you yelling at me? I just wanted that, t-that restaurant date to be nice, b-but I didn’t have the money...! I didn’t... I didn’t want to ask you because I was too ashamed of myself, a-and...!” His voice trailed off as he brought his hands to his face to cover it, his trembling becoming apparent.

Horace softened in sympathy, feeling guilt creep up and stab at him for making his boyfriend cry. “Oh, oh Pat no. No no please don’t cry.” He gently said, dropping the wallet and rushing over to comfort him by sitting on the bed and pulling him into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry. It’s alright, okay? It’s just some stupid game. I... I can get it later. It doesn’t matter.” That was a lie. It was their senior year, and it was almost over, too. There was no way he was going to be able to get the money quick enough to be able to play it with his little brother, Virgil, and it wouldn’t be fair to ask it from his parents. They already did enough for the two of them as it is.

Patton shook his head, his crying having not stopped in the slightest. “I just... I-I just don’t understand why you don’t love me.” He whimpered. “You love Virgil over me, you even love a game more then me. That’s why you were mad, isn’t it? You don’t love m-me... If you loved me you would actually show it...”

“I do love you!” Horace protested, feeling his own tears prick at his own eyes, but knowing if he let himself cry around Patton, it would only make things worse. “I love you so much, I’m so sorry if I haven’t been showing you that. I love you more than anything else. Please don’t cry. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’ll, I’ll try and work up some more money and we can go wherever you want. Is that good?”

Patton sniffed, and Horace could tell he was still crying, but it was beginning to slow. “O-Okay...” He murmured. 

“I love you, Patton. So much.”

Horace wished he would have seen the cruel smile that spread across his boyfriend’s face. Maybe he would have seen the already obvious signs sooner. Maybe this could have all been avoided. “...Always...?”

“Always.”

•

Horace burst out laughing, leaning back against the end board of his fourteen-year-old brother’s bed before turning to look at him amusedly. “You’re such a sassy little bitch, you know that right?” He asked, taking one of his hands off of the controller to ruffle his jet black hair.

Virgil smiled at his words, playfully batting at the hand that was ruining his already messy hair. “It’s true!” He almost beamed at him, hitting pause on his own controller so he could look up at his brother without ruining the chance of ruining his game. “I bet I could kill more enemies then you any day!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

Horace laughed at his words, relishing the rare moment of his brother having actual confidence in something. He was about to say he was on, that he would show him just who he was messing with, when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. Quickly, he pulled it out, only to see that Patton was calling him. Again.

Virgil softened, his excited smile fading. “Is that Patton again?” He asked, if a bit disappointedly.

Horace sighed, nodding. “Yeah, it is.” He murmured, getting to his feet. “I better remind him of why I’m not answering. I’ll be right back, alright?” As he hurriedly crossed the room to be able to take the call in the privacy of his own home, he knew that both of them could tell that it was a lie. Once he made it to his own room, he finally answered his phone, guessing he just barely made it in time so he didn’t get another missed call. (It would have been his seventh missed call from him this hour.) Almost immediately after picking up, he heard Patton call out to him in almost an irritated voice.

“Horace! Baby, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for so long now! Where were you?!”

Horace held back a sigh, knowing he was most likely regret it more then words could describe if Patton managed to hear it. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that Pat. Didn’t you see my text? I told you I was going to hang out with my brother for a while and play video games together. We haven’t been spending much time together because I’m always out with you, and-“

“Do you not like to spend time with me?” Patton interrupted, voice lined with hurt and betrayal. “Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? That is, isn’t it? You don’t like me anymore. You’re bored of me. I should have known this would happen. Why would anymore like you ever want to be around someone like me?”

Horace softened, pushing down the small part of him that was annoyed with how insecure Patton was about these things. (Like he didn’t go out on a date with him just yesterday.) “Patton, you know that’s a lie.” He said gently, wishing he could be beside him right then so he could comfort him physically too. “I love you so much, why would I ever be bored of you?”

“Because you were ignoring me... I was worried, and I missed you...” Patton whimpered, making Horace feel as if a tiny part of his heart snapped and guilt poked at him. “If you really meant what you said, you’d come over today and spend the rest of the day with me. And stop spending so much time with people other than me, especially because you know it hurts me, Horace...”

Horace hesitated for a moment, not exactly wanting to agree to the words, but seeing that he didn’t really have a choice. He quietly sighed. “Okay, Pat. You can come over for a bit. I promise I’ll start spending more time with you.” He said, already regretting what he was promising. “And, I’m sorry I hurt you. You know I don’t mean to, right? I’m just dumb and miss signals that I shouldn’t.”

He heard a sniffle on the other side of the line before he actually heard Patton, and he became aware that his boyfriend had been crying over this, which just made his regret smooth over with fresh guilt. “Okay...” He murmured, though sounding upset, Horace could hear the slight happiness and almost triumph in his voice. “Promise you’re sorry...? And that you’re not just using me...? That... That you actually love me...?”

“I promise I’m sorry, that I’m not using you, and that I actually love you. You mean the world to me. I’ll always love you.

“Always.”

•

“-...Was this all just a game to you, Patton? A fucking game?!”

“Horace! Please, let me explain! You have this whole thing wrong!”

Horace laughed at his boyfr- Patton’s words, shaking his head as he ran his hand through his hair and tried not to let tears spring into his eyes. Never in a million years would he think he would find his boyfriend cheating on him with some girl, and the day before graduation too. But, that’s exactly what he found. And honestly? Maybe he should have seen it sooner.

No, he knew he should have seen it sooner. How could he have been so blind?

“It was all just an act, wasn’t it? An act so you can get whatever the hell you want from me! You didn’t actually love me!” Horace snapped at him, forcing his anger not to dull at the tears that sprung in the other’s eyes. Crocodile tears, that’s what they are, what they’ve always been, so he would give in to what he wants.

“No, it fucking wasn’t!” Patton shot back angrily, beginning to raise his voice at him. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t scare him a little bit. (Would he get violent with him?) “I loved you! But you’re being such a bitch right now I don’t even want to love you!”

“Oh, I’m the bitch?! You’re the one who’s manipulated me for months and then cheated on me!” Horace could feel rage boiling inside of him, and he wanted nothing more than to storm away, their relationship done, but he had more he wanted to say to his new ex. “God, you’re such a horrible liar, Patton. That’s why you did all that shit, isn’t it? You cried to win every argument, didn’t care if I had to sacrifice something just to make you happy, basically forced me to spend time with you above everyone else. You were just using me! Fuck, why didn’t I see that sooner?!”

Before he could even think to say anything else, Patton lunged forward, cupping either side of his face and connecting their lips. Horace, quick to push his ex away, looked at him in disgust and horror. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Horace, I love you!” Patton pleaded, but he could still clearly hear the fury and bitterness in his voice as tears began to roll down his face. “Please, don’t leave me! I won’t be able to live without you! I’ll go insane! Please, I’m begging you, stay with me!”

And, just like that, Horace almost gave in. He could feel himself softening, wanting to give into Patton’s pleads and apologize, saying he loves him too. Because, really, he did still love him. But, deep down, he knew he had to leave him. He couldn’t do this anymore, not after realizing how blind he had been. He couldn’t bear to put the blindfold back on.

Horace forced himself to shake his head, staring down at him with cold yet hurt covered eyes. “No, Patton. We’re over.” He said sternly, almost choking on his own words as tears began to gather in his own eyes. “Don’t ever, ever talk to me again.”

Turning around, he pushed himself to walk away as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. But, he held his head high, ignoring Patton’s screaming to him to come back and that he’ll regret this. Horace knew, he would remember this for the rest of his life. That he would be forever unsure of entering another relationship, for fear of being used again. That he would remember Patton, what he had wanted for them together versus what he actually got.

Always.

#sander sides #sanders sides #patton sanders #deceit sanders #moceit #romantic moceit #virgil sanders #unsympathetic patton #unsympathetic!patton #tw toxic relationship #tw cheating #tw manipulation #tw noncon #tw nonconsensual kissing #DRV writings

[geeky-marie]

Hi! Can I request a fluffy fic with Dewey Finn and the reader, Horace Green’s art teacher crushing on each other and the kids trying to get them together?? I just think it would be so cute, and the kids would probably be really teasing to Dewey 😋😊

Dewey Finn 

School of Rock Musical 

A/N: Thank you for your request, I really like to write it since I’m an artist so the idea came easily. I hope you will like it and you will ask me to write for you again ! 

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.

---

The kids had a plan, a perfect plan. 

For weeks now, they saw the little dance you and Dewey were dancing, walking in the corridor together, making jokes and failing to properly flirt . For days, they been each at their turn remove briefly of your class by their music teacher under a stupid pretext, because the man wanted to see you a little bit and having a little ray of sunshine to the rest of his day. For hours, they saw both of you smile like idiots, too shy or not confident enough to make the first step. For minutes now, they were looking if Dewey, lost in his thought, would notice that they had stopped playing their instruments.

The idea came for Summer. As the manager of the band, she proposed that she could talk to Dewey about refreshing the School of rock logo and maybe , absolutely, involve Miss Y/L/N in the project. As an Art teacher you were more able to have some kick ass ideas and draw them beautifully. In this manner, you will both have to collaborate on something and have a real chance to talk and come to the point that you should go on a date. 

“ It’s gonna not work” Zack interrupted playing with his mediator. “ Did you hear him speak to her ? He jokes, failing his attempt to ask her out by changing subject and compliment her Art, but never her. She probably doesn't know he daydreams about her. And put them in a project will don’t change that” 

“ Then, we will have to make him compliment her. My mom always became more flirty with my dad after he told her something nice about her look.” Billy replies.

“ I think I have an idea for that “ Summer continu. “ I will go see Mister Finn after class, maybe he will decide to talk to her directly and we will not have to do all these efforts and we...” 

But the voice of Dewey raised for his desk, taking them by surprise, forced them to put the plan in action sooner.  

“ Hey dudes, what’s happening ? Why do you look like you were planning a bad prank ? “ 

“ Well, actually we were telling that our logo was getting old” The little manager quickly answered, turning on her chair to face him. “ People will become tired of seen it, we should change it “ 

“ The logo is fine Summer, and it’s not always good to change a logo people recognize.” Dewey brushes away, getting up to reach his guitar in his support.

“ Yes but we wanted to ask Miss Y/L/N if she had some ideas for refreshing him at least” Zack continu, giving a supporting look at Summer who’s nod of the head. “ She could help us on this” 

Sitting on the corner of his desk, a now soft smile playing on his lips at your mention, Dewey was playing absently the first chords of Here’s come the Sun from The Beatles.

“ That’s a pretty great idea. I will try to talk to her about it before leaving school…” Dewey agreed, continuing to play the song.

“ Mister Finn, did you correct our test ? My mom wait for it and she’s start to be impatient” The voice of Billy ask from the back of the class, shortly after he gave a look to Summer.

“ Shi...No...I didn’t Billy I will do it tonight” He disappointingly confessed, passing a hand on his face. “ I guess I will have to talk to Y/N tomorrow “ 

A concert of exclamation and joyful noise welcome his answers. 

“ It’s Y/N now then ?” Zack tease, a playful smile brightens his little face. 

“ You should ask her out ! “ Alysha shouted. “ And gave her flowers, us girls love flowers !” 

Getting up from the desk, Dewey raise is hand in a calming sign. 

“ Woah woah woah….Yes Zack for me it’s Y/N, and she’s way out of my league guys...Now stop trying to plays cupid and start to rock “ 

But the kids hadn’t finish to interfere with his love life yet. 

You were staying late at school like always,trying to finish a painting, when Summer entered your class. You weren't really surprised to see her there since the young lady had an overbooked agenda and liked to be in many interscholastic activities. 

“ Miss Y/L/N can I talk to you for a minute ? “ She politely asks you, silently appreciating your almost finished painting. 

“ Of course Summer “ You reply, putting down your brush. 

“ With the band, we wanted to refresh our logo and we think of you to do it.” She annonce, looking like always more adult than many women you know.

A strange sensation seemed to arise in your belly at the mention of the famous band of Horace Green. And more particularly their teacher. You finish by understanding that it was a little deception that he hadn’t come himself to ask you to work on that project. Dewey Finn was awesome, and he totally didn’t know. You have a crush on him, his joke, his wonderful smile, his brillante energies and he didn’t know either. And you will certainly not start to think of his strong arms helping you by lifting your heavier box of material, like he did last week. Not with a too bright young lady at your side.     

 “ I’m really flattered you thought about me to do it Summer. Did you guys have some ideas for me ?” You ask, trying to chase the memory of Dewey of your mind. 

“ Actually Mister Finn had made a list of our ideas, but he had the best so far. He’s in his class right now, come with me we will go see him.” She replied, a strange urge on his voice. 

Your heart since to skip a beat. Dewey was still here ? Getting up from your seat, you follow the little girl, trying without her notice that you were secretly putting your clothes in order. Since the class was over, you had changed into a more artistic and simple attire composed of a shirt, jeans and your old pair of Converse. 

“ Try to stay discrete please, he corrects our copies and he tends to make mistakes if we interrupt him, he will tell us when we can talk” Summer whispers loud enough to you to hear when you stop in front of the open door. 

Entering the room, you follow the path of the little girl. There, sitting at his wooden desk, only god can know how much you have thought of him and this damn desk, Dewey was correcting the paper like Summer had mentioned. His brown lock falling on his forehead, a bored expression on his face. 

“ Mister Finn, I will not bother you for long, I just forgot my notepad.” Summer suddenly said, surprising you, what’s happened to the waiting that he talked to us first ? “ Mister Finn, did you notice that Miss Y/L/N was particularly pretty today ? “ 

The initial surprise was now transformed into shock, at what this little miss was playing. Opening your mouth to interfere, you close it when you heard he answer.  

“ Stupid affirmation Summer. Y/N’s always gorgeous, even with paint in his cheeks. I tell you to don’t play cupid, I'm not enough“ Dewey mutterings without even lifting his eyes from the papers.

A warm feeling seems to burst in your chest. Without being able to stop yourself, you protest. 

“ What, of course you are enough ! “ 

In an instant, Dewey was on his feet, his cheeks red of embarrassment.

“ Oh, hey, Y/N !” He too loudly tells, trying to compose himself.

It then hit you too.

“ Wait you think I'm gorgeous ?” The red reaching now your own cheeks. The marvelous student now forgotten. “ I thought I was the one who was not enough...you were only joking and helping, but you never really do a move or something like that…”

Get around his desk, he was now standing in front of you, his hand passing nervously into his hair. 

“ I was kind of scared you rejected me, look at you. Even in jeans and t-shirt you look like an art goddess. And your so talented.Rock band sing song about girls like you “ 

Smiling, you couldn’t resist longer. Putting your hand on his chest, you slowly kiss his lips. It took him a few seconds, the initial shock passed, to respond to your embrasse. Taking your waist on his hand, He proceeded to give you one of these kisses you remember all your life.

Your eyes closed, your mouth still at only a few inches, you couldn't stop smiling. 

“ Yess ! “ A small voice exclaim bursting your quiet bubble. 

Turning on your heels, you discover Summer, her phone in front of her recording. 

“ Summer, did you...Oh god it’s the prank you were conspired in class today !” Dewey realized.

“ Congratulations Mr Finn, Miss Y/L/N See you tomorrow “ The young girl said before running out, his laugh of joy echoing in the corridor. 

Turning on the arms on Dewey, who never makes a move to let you go, you bite your lips. 

“ So…” You start.

“ A drink ? Now…? “ Dewey suggests. 

“ Finally…Yes “ You joke, kissing his lips for the second time. 

----

The next morning, all the class was excited. The video taken by Summer having made the tour. So, when Dewey passed the door, an unusual smile on his lips so early in the morning, they couldn’t resist teasing him a little.

“ Hey Mister Finn, you have a really pretty Girlfriend “ 

“ You look happy Mister Finn, did you see your Girlfriend this morning ?” 

“ Did she kiss you before you came in class ? “ 

Laughing, Dewey removed his coat, handling his guitar. 

“ Ok ok guys, Thank you, Yes she kissed me before coming here and she’s beautiful. Today we will learn the opposite of Stick it to the man. Kick ass love songs “  

Two classes away, showing your morning student how to draw the light reflecting in an object, you could suddenly hear Dewey playing, I was made from loving you by KISS. You were, indeed, made for each other.   

@sofabearr @beetlebitchywitch

#dewey finn #dewey finn x reader #dewey finn fluff #Fluff #Alex Brightman #Request #Beetlejuice #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuicebway

[deceitfullyanxioussss]

Emotional Support Animal

A/N:

    Deceit’s name is Horace.

    Also, I have never seen and actual ESA certificate so I just put the basics of what I imagine it to be similar to.

TW:

Mentions of violence/blood/scars, cursing, sympathetic Deceit/Remus, and anger outbursts.

“Double D!” The ever recognizable sing-songy voice of Remus echoed in the emptiness of the dark side’s living room. Horace groaned, setting his book down and swinging his legs off of the coffee table in front of him.

"Remus, I love you, but I need to relax right now." He huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance as he stared at his green and black clad boyfriend.

Remus made a pouty face but replaced it with the usual shit-eating grin. "I have something for you!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Horace didn't have time to react when Remus dashed towards him, shoving something before his eyes. He had to blink a couple times to decipher whatever the thing was.

ESA Certificate

Handler: Remus Creativity Sanders

By law, Remus Creativity Sanders has the full public access of bringing both him and his Emotional Support Animal wherever he may need.

Planes, boats, work, hospitals, restaurants, trains, hotels, apartments, etc.

Emotional Support Animal:

Name: Horace Deceit Sanders

Animal: Snake

Gender: Male

Remus was showing him a certificate that licenced him as an Emotional Support Animal. Horace continued to stare at the piece of hard plastic in front of him for a little longer after reading it, before shifting his gaze to Remus and raising an eyebrow. "You have me licenced as an animal? For your emotional shit?"

Remus nodded energetically.

"Fuck you, ya little shit." He rolled his eyes, pushed the certificate away from his face and picked up his book again. "Leave me alone." He said plainly, resuming from his previous point.

Horace easily occupied himself with his book as Remus shrugged and disappeared to... where ever the fuck he goes in his free time.

It had only been two days since his certification as an emotional support animal, and Remus was not letting him forget it. Especially today.

    Remus had just returned from the most recent episode, and burst into Deceit’s room with an angry expression gracing his features. “That damn Logan!” He exclaimed. “I swear he’s got the most smug look on his face right now, and I’m going to rip it off so that his blood spurts everywhere and he’s stuck with a full-face scar!” Remus vents, violently ripping one of his pillows in half and then proceeding to tear all the stuffing out. Horace simply let’s him continue to ramble on for a good 30 minutes as he destroys all of his 3 pillows, his body pillow, and then a whole corner of his mattress. Once Remus has finally talked his mouth silent, Deceit quietly approached his frustrated boyfriend and enveloped him into a soft embrace.

    This wasn’t the first anger outburst from Remus he’s had to deal with, so he already knew what to do. Calmly climbing onto the messed up mattress and leaning back against the bed rest, he gently pulled Remus down onto his chest as he carded his gloved hand through the other’s slightly greasy locks. He made sure to twirl the single strip of white hair around his finger and press a few caring kisses against it, knowing of Remus’s insecurity of it. It didn’t take long until Remus fully relaxed and his breathing evened out. 

Remus was currently huddled against the chest of his boyfriend, calming down from a rage. He really should be ashamed over how often this happens or how Horace can already deal with it so well by now. But being Remus, he wasn’t in the slightest. Instead, he smiled a little and nuzzled his face against Deceit’s chest as he focused on the gentle rise and fall that had calmed him so many times before.

    He sighed, enjoying the sensation for a few minutes longer before a thought occurred to him, instantly smirking.

    “So…” He began, smugly, looking up to face his boyfriend’s mismatched eyes and smooth scales. “What was that about not being my emotional support animal?” He said teasingly, walking his fingers up Horace’s black clothed chest, finishing with a boop on the male’s nose.

    This immediately got an embarrassed expression, slight blush forming on the human side of Deceit’s face before he forced it into an annoyed expression. “I’m not your emotional support animal.” He insisted, trying to sound stern but his voice wavering slightly.

    “Keep telling yourself that, you snakey liar.” Remus grinned as he sat up straight. His boyfriend scoffed, sitting up and stretching his back.

    “Shut up, Dukey.” Horace dismissed as he started to make his way out of his room. “I’m going down to make myself some tea, don’t visit unless you’re gonna drop the whole emotional support animal shit.”

    Remus pouted as the door slammed shut and he was alone in the room.

The next video rolled around soon enough, maybe too soon for Horace, still salty about the wedding decision. Remus, being Remus, was already over his frustration about Logan. Deceit, however, tended to hold grudges for longer than Remus typically did. Thankfully, Remus was the first one to be sent over to the light side’s common room, leaving Deceit some extra time to prepare for his typical cliché villain entrance.

    After some time, he felt the familiar tug of being summoned.

    Quickly adjusting the black garment that was fixed around his shoulders, he popped up beside Remus, which he will never admit relaxed him a little.

    Just as he opened his mouth to recite his typical villain monologue, Remus spoke out loudly. “Awesome! It's about time my Emotional Support Animal got here. Everyone's other emotional bullshit was starting to drive me bonkers." His voice cracks slightly from his excitement, clapping giddily.

    Everyone seemed to either scoff in annoyance or offense, muttering to each other about the supposed ‘emotional bullshit’ Remus said they’ve been spouting. Logan, however, was the only one to simply ask, “Emotional Support Animal?”

    Everyone hushed their muttering and looked at Remus, all now seeming to send the same question Logan had just vocalized, all annoyance or offense gone. Remus simply grinned, the corners of his mouth reaching to his ears, literally.

    With a couple uncomfortable gazes achieved, he returned his smile to that of a normal one, reaching into his belt and pulling out his wallet. He never really was concerned about keeping his necessities safe. Once his wallet was out, he opened it, and pulled out a card for the lights sides and Thomas to see.

    A few seconds passed as the sides took the time to read what was written on the certificate before all of their eyes seemed to shift to Horace simultaneously. 

    At their reactions, Deceit felt a blush creep to the human side of his face, immediately ducking his head and pulling his hat over his forehead to hide his blush. After a couple stutters he was able to mutter a small, “I didn’t agree to it.” In the background he could hear the stifled chuckles of the light sides and Remus’s unashamedly loud one.

#Sanders Sides #Demus #Dukeceit #Snuke #Sympathetic Remus #Sympathetic Deceit #Emotional Support Animal #Fluff #Remus Sanders #Deceit Sanders #Remus #Deceit #Fanfiction #Thomas Sanders

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WORK ETHIC AND PROBLEM

By this point everyone knows you should release fast and iterate. Tell stories about users. Two or three course projects? Your next thought will probably be but I can't believe it will be at the end of the spectrum, the availability of libraries can outweigh the intrinsic power of the language. Let's look at our case. Chance meetings produce miracles to compensate for the disasters that characteristically befall startups. If you've truly made something good, you're doing investors a favor by telling them about it. Where does wealth come from? In the design of lives, as in, say, corporate law, or medicine.1 When you travel to a rich or poor country, you don't have enough density, the chance meetings don't happen. Why do they do it for free, and it represents the opposite approach to language design.

Money is just a bunch of guesses, and guesses about stuff that's probably not your area of expertise. And once you apply that kind of brain power to petty but profitable questions, you can start to count on investors being interested even if you're not profitable. Most people have had the experience of working hard on some problem, not being able to keep a program in your head.2 Deals fall through. As a kid there's a magic button you can press by saying I'm just a kid that will get last place in line. Someone who doesn't know the first thing about the mechanics of investing, really isn't. Angel rounds are their whole business, as online video was for YouTube. We may be able to draw like Leonardo, you'd find most would say something like Oh, I can't draw. Better to make a living, and it's no wonder we had such a bad time. It works.

By launching the wrong thing that they can walk around it the way you compete for such jobs. The agreement by which you invest should have provisions that let you contribute to future rounds to maintain your relationship.3 In the future, investors will increasingly be unable to offer investment subject to contingencies like other people investing.4 If they'd already been through their Artix phase, they'd have made less. When I asked her what specific things she remembered speakers always saying, she mentioned: that the product is not appealing enough. Because the fact is, almost anyone would rather, at any given moment, float about in the general case? What happened to Don't be Evil? Deadlock wasn't the only disadvantage of letting a lead investor manage an angel round. They should be something in the background as you face the audience and talk to them, because you both know the price will have to be doing something you not only enjoy, but admire. If you make money doing one thing and then work on another, you have to be a bunch of twenty year olds could get rich from building something cool that doesn't make any money. In a lot of competition for a deal, it's not a problem if you don't need the money?

Founders understand their companies better than investors, and only take money from people who are just trying to make Web sites for galleries—that's the ticket! When we started Artix, I was still ambivalent about business. All someone has to do is help it. No cofounder Not having a cofounder is a real problem.5 No matter how bad a job they did of analyzing it, this meta-check would at least remind everyone there had to be a media company was that they didn't take programming seriously enough. No matter how thoroughly you've read it, not just in the procedures they follow but in the personalities of the people on both sides who supply and check proofs of the supplier's solvency. About a year after we started Y Combinator I said something to a partner at a well known VC firm that gave him the mistaken impression I was considering starting another startup. It is sometimes hard to explain to authorities why one would want to ensure that is to create a descriptive phrase about yourself that sticks in their heads. But there are different kinds of prosperity. Your own ideas about what's possible have been unconsciously lowered by such experiences.

Notes

Horace, Sat. The hardest kind of secret about the cheapest food available. One of Europe's advantages was that the usual way to tell them startups are now. So if anything they could then tell themselves that they either have a competent startup lawyer handle the deal.

Josh Wilson came in to pick the former, and that don't raise money succeeded, and there are no startups to die. I wonder if they miss just a few of the problem and yet managed to find may be exaggerated by the fact by someone else. I think that's because delicious/popular. VCs suggest it's roughly correct to say they care above all about hitting outliers, and in fact it may seem to have lunch at the 30-foot table Kate Courteau designed for scale.

Why Startups Condense in America consider acting white. Sullivan actually said form ever follows function, but trained on corpora of stupid and non-broken form, that alone could in principle 100,000 sestertii apiece for slaves learned in the general manager of a large chunk of time on applets, but it seems unlikely that every successful startup? FreeBSD. Everyone's taught about it.

If you're trying to sell something bad can be either capped at a particular valuation, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been trained to paint from life, the way up. If they were beaten by iTunes and Hulu.

At first I didn't care about.

Thanks to Fred Wilson, Jessica Livingston, Sam Altman, Tim O'Reilly, Hutch Fishman, and Trevor Blackwell for reading a previous draft.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #kid #Hutch #investors #No #Sat #disadvantage #Combinator #ideas #Fred #talk #competent #VC #form #jobs #angel #density #sestertii #round #rounds #lawyer #questions #miracles #kind #function #startups

[bananannabeth]

A Very Merry Christmas Party

This has been sitting in my drafts for - no exaggeration - three effing years. Honestly what. Am I doing. 

Anyway it’s about time it saw the light of your dashboards, so here, have this unfinished Christmas themed Percabeth AU where they both work at Disney world.

Piper idly flipped her blue ID between her fingers as they walked through the tunnels under Magic Kingdom. “Do you think they’ll give us free cookies? They’ve got truckloads of them, right? Literal truckloads. Surely they can spare some for Cast Members.”

Annabeth shrugged. “I’d love to say yes, but it depends on who’s the Captain.”

“Chiron will give us cookies.”

“Chiron will definitely give us cookies.” Annabeth tried to remember if her favourite Captain had already told her where he’d been scheduled for this Christmas party. She couldn’t recall them discussing it, but she hoped that he’d be at the dance party with her and Piper.

“Reyna might,” Piper said as they joined the line of people checking in at base, which snaked around the corner and down the tunnel. 

Christmas party nights were always busy, so there were people running around everywhere. Princesses walked by, wearing sweatpants and talking on their phones. People who usually didn’t work at Magic Kingdom but had picked up shifts to hand out cookies milled along the edges of the tunnels, waiting for someone to tell them where to go. The Christmas decorations stuck all over the walls and dangling from the ceiling made the place feel more claustrophobic than usual, even without the crowds of cast members.

“She probably won’t blatantly say we’re allowed them, but she’ll leave a pile of them in the break room and give us all knowing looks as she exits,” Annabeth said, brushing against a paper snowflake stapled to the wall and almost knocking it loose. 

Piper laughed as she quickly pressed it flat again. “Yeah, probably.”

Base was crowded, but Annabeth was a seasoned pro and moved through the throngs of people with ease. She’d been a Character Attendant for almost a year now, and she knew the drill for these parties. Clock in, check in, get your piece of paper with all the special instructions for the night, get your radio and go. She’d collected everything and was just about to leave when a commotion came from the check in windows.

A guy - a character performer, judging from his uniform grey sweatpants and barcoded t-shirt - had knocked over the snowman prop in the corner of the tiny hall. The sound of the plastic globes clattering together echoed through the base, and everyone fell silent. He flailed, managed to catch the prop before it hit the ground, and carefully set it upright. He smiled, obviously pleased with himself, and looked up to see who’d witnessed his faux pa. The entire room had seen it, of course, but out of everyone there he locked eyes with Annabeth.

He was incredibly handsome. Dark hair, green eyes, tan skin and a lean, muscular build. Not many people could make those grey t-shirts look flattering, but he managed it. The longer Annabeth held his gaze the hotter she could feel her cheeks getting. 

The moment was only broken when one of the Captains yelled out, “Percy, you’re late! Again!”

He - Percy - finally looked away from Annabeth. She breathed out as he turned his charming grin to the bearded man standing in the doorway. “Sorry Chiron! Totally not my fault this time, I had to catch the bus -”

“A lot of people have to catch the bus, Percy, and they all manage to make it here on time.” 

“Yeah, well.” Percy shrugged, apparently unable to come up with a suitable retort. “I’m here now.”

Chiron sighed, and Annabeth started when Piper grabbed her elbow. “You good to go?” she said, nodding towards the exit.

Annabeth threw one last look over her shoulder at Percy as they left, but he was busy throwing an exercise ball at Jason, one of the other performers, and didn’t notice her staring. She didn’t know if she should be disappointed or relieved by that.

“Who’s that guy with Jason?” Piper asked as they meandered down one of the much quieter hallways.

“I was hoping you’d know... Chiron called him Percy.” Annabeth glanced at her friend, gauging her reaction, before casually adding, “He was pretty good looking.”

Piper smirked. “Was he? I didn’t notice.”

“Only because you were too busy staring at Jason.” 

Piper elbowed her in the side. Annabeth shoved back, and they continued their tousle all the way to the break room. The dance party was being held in The Golden Horseshoe, which was normally used for actual stage shows, so this break room was one of the few actually set up like a proper dressing room.

Annabeth’s friend Grover was already there when they arrived, admiring himself in one of the dressing table mirrors. From the waist up he looked perfectly normal, wearing the regulation grey t-shirt, but from the waist down he was wearing the black tights and furry shorts of a character.

“Nice look,” Annabeth said in greeting. “Who are you hanging out with tonight?”

He sighed and patted the heavy shorts. “Horace Horsecollar.”

Piper scrunched up her nose. “Who’s that?”

“No one knows him!” Grover wailed. “He was in the old shorts, back when Mickey was first made - but that’s not the point! The point is I’m going to spend the whole night hearing people call me Goofy’s ugly cousin or something.”

Annabeth snorted. “Yeah, probably.”

“So comforting, Annabeth, thank you.” Grover huffed.

She was just about to ask him if he’d feel any better if she could get him some cookies when the rest of their team walked in. The other attendant was a small girl named Hazel, who neither Piper or Annabeth had worked with before, but who was the epitome of lovely from the moment she said hello. The other performers were Jason (Piper’s eyes lit up the moment he walked in), a big guy named Frank, and Leo.

“Keep an eye on him,” Reyna said, glaring at Leo as he struggled to get into his costume. Hazel hurried over to help him. “Last time he did a dance party Max Goof started grinding.”

“You cannot prove that,” Leo said, but his eyes were glinting wickedly.

Jason laughed. “Dude, it’s all over Youtube.”

“No date stamp on the video, no proof,” Leo argued.

Reyna scowled. “Annabeth, I’m counting on you. I’ve got to look after this and the Frontierland characters, so I need you to make sure everyone runs to schedule.”

“Will do,” Annabeth assured her.

Reyna almost smiled as she turned to leave. 

Annabeth kept things running smoothly for the first three rotations. Everyone got their breaks exactly when they were supposed to, no characters got bombarded by guests demanding photos, and when Frank’s shoe overlay started to un-velcro she managed to stealthily reattach it before anyone noticed, including Frank. 

The smoke machine was on, the lights were flashing, the DJ was actually playing pretty good music and her best friend was beaming beside her. Annabeth was having a pretty good night. Piper bopped along to the music, grinning toothily as she watched Jason dance with a family decked out in Christmas clothes.

“This is a good shift,” she said, leaning over to talk into Annabeth’s ear. “We’re pretty much getting paid to dance.”

“And make sure they get off stage on time.” Annabeth checked her watch. “Have you given the five minute warnings?”

Piper nodded. “All done. When’s your break?”

“Now, but I’m just gonna go off with them.”

“Annabeth! What are you doing? Go sit down,” Piper scolded. When she opened her mouth to protest, Piper raised a finger in warning. “I will tell Reyna, and you know she won’t like that. Hazel and I have got this, go.”

Reluctantly, Annabeth slipped out a side door and into the quiet hallway that led to the break room. The grey concrete was a startling contrast to the Western-meets-Disco get up going on out there, and she smiled in the comparative quiet.

But then she almost ran into someone, and her smile fell away.

“Whoa!” the guy said, throwing his hands up. “Sorry, didn’t mean to run into you. Just didn’t want to be late. Again.”

Annabeth’s breath caught in her throat. It was Percy, but he’d changed into the khaki shorts and bright blue shirt of a character attendant. The colour made his eyes look even more vibrant.

“Why have they sent us another attendant?” she asked, skipping the pleasantries out of shock.

He didn’t seem offended, shrugging. “I’m a spare. They had nowhere else to put me.”

“Oh.” Annabeth blinked at him. His eyes were really bright. “Well, um, I’m just going on break, but you can... go in and just keep an eye on things, I guess?”

“Yeah, cool,” he said, smiling. “I’ll see you back in there.”

Annabeth nodded, slipping around him and disappearing into the break room to eat some of the cookies Reyna had left on the table for them.

When she got back out to the dance floor, she saw a crowd gathered in the centre of the room. She stood on the tips of her toes to see what had caught everyone’s attention. All of the characters were standing in a circle, while Grover - Horace Horsecollar - danced around in the middle. Percy and Piper were standing on either side of the circle, cheering him on.

“Let’s give it up for Horace!” the DJ announced, and the crowd of guests cheered and clapped.

Annabeth sidled up to Piper. “What’s going on?”

“No one knew who Horace was,” Piper snorted, “So Percy decided to get him to show the guests what he could do.”

Annabeth leant forward to peer at Percy, who immediately caught her eye and grinned. 

She found herself suddenly grateful that Base had sent him to them.

#can you pinpoint the moment where i lost all motivation #if someone wants to like #take this idea and run with it/continue it #feel free #just tag me in it so i can read it #i'd like to say i could finish it but #like i said its been in my draft for THREE YEARS so im giving up #percabeth #percabeth au #disney parks au #mine #why do you write like you're running out of time? #pjo #pjo au

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 3):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 – A Tale of Two Cities:

Time for Dooooowntooooown!!!

“So I guess I’m out of the book club.”

Aaaah it’s THAT Jack flashback episode aka the lowest he’s ever been aka

It’s not that Matthew Fox is a bad actor… it’s just that everyone else on the show is better than him. It becomes even more apparent with the presence of Michael “I single-handedly invented acting” Emerson being around there to stay now.

Sawyer solving the bear cage puzzle is so cute I wanna hug him.

episode 2 – The Glass Ballerina:

Awwww yaaaaas Ben’s round glasses jkdgnidfgnoidsfg

It always baffles me how long it takes for the credits to finish. Going on minute 8 of this episode and they still rolling.

It’s Sally Slingshot

Only Ben Linus can use a camping chair as a dramatic prop

“My name is Benjamin Linus and I’ve lived on this island all my life.”

episode 3 – Further Instructions:

John being speechless after seeing naked Desmond running through the jungle – #same

Wait… is that the sweat lodge episode? If so it means sweaty topless Terry O’Quinn and my body is absolutely and 100% ready!!!

Charlie just made the same “you don’t call, you don’t write” joke on John that he already pulled on Eko

It’s probably the only totally… useless John flashback. Like… we don’t really learn anything about his character that we didn’t already know. I still enjoy every second of John screentime we get but… I wish they had used this one for something else.

“amendable for coercion” is probably what Ben has written in John’s file as well

episode 4 – Every Man For Himself:

Oh shut up Charlie, you jealous ass.

It’s the episode in which Ben knocks Sawyer out with his phallic baton.

“the big kahuna”

First time appearance of the true star of the show: bunny #8

I love that of all the characters on the show, Sawyer’s the one who reads every book he can get his hands on.

Murder cactus hair!!!

Ben’s Bunny Bag™!!!

episode 5 – The Cost of Living:

Sexy linen outfit, Ben! Love the abundance of chest hair!

“Do you believe in God, Jack?” – “Do you?” – “Two days after I found out I had a fatal tumour on my spine a spinal surgeon fall out of the sky, and if that’s not proof of God then I don’t know what is.”

“I guess he’ll be expecting us.”

episode 6 – I Do:

Yet another bad wig for Evangeline Lilly

Random Nathan Fillion

I love the cage frickle frackle scene

Nice psychological warfare, Benjamin fucking Linus!

episode 7 – Not In Portland:

 I love Juliet’s curly hair <3

“I’m Tom btw.” – nice timing, Tom!

RICHARD ALPERT!!!

Ben just lying there, chilling with his back cut open… getting some fresh air on that spine.

There it is: Angel Hair Pasta story 2.0

“I wanna know what he said. You owe me an answer.” Good God what is it with Jack and this overly possessive behaviour? Why does he always have to know everything about the women in his life?!?!?! That’s not healthy, Jack!

episode 8 – Flashes Before Your Eyes:

More Desmond, hell yes!

istg that blue semi-unbuttoned shirt is such an iconic look for Desmond and it’s also hot as fuck

OF COURSE Charlie is playing Wonderwall

episode 9 – Stranger In A Strange Land:

The worst episode yet it gives us topless Benjamin Linus.

Seriously, I have hardly anything else to say about this one.

“Your bedside manner leaves something to be desired, Jack.”

Good fucking God, Jack you entitled self-righteous asshole!

episode 10 – Tricia Tanaka Is Dead:

Roger Workman!

Where’s Sayid btw?!??!?! Haven’t seen him in a while!

Aaaah there he is my bebe Sayid!!!

“SHUT UP! Red…. Neck… Man….”

episode 11 – Enter 77:

It’s the Mikhail Bakunin episode!!!

Oh wait…. Is that a Sayid episode? The one with the cat that I had completely forgotten about until now?!?!?!

I loves Sayid’s flashback hair in this episode.

NOT EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY, JOHN!!!

Oh John, what is it with you and beeping computers?

episode 12 – Par Avion:

“Remind me why we’re keeping him alive?” – “What do you suggest? We shoot him like a dog?” – “No. I like dogs.”

I love you, Danielle!

“The John Locke I know was…” nice time travel foreshadowing

Claire’s aunt is such an asshole!

John throwing Mikhail through the sonic fence is my jam!

DADDY SHEPHARD!

Okay but… if you can just go over the fence? Then why does Smokey not just… fly over it?!

episode 13 – The Man From Tallahassee:

OH NO NOT THAT EPISODE!!! Right in the feels!!!

John finally reunited with his future island husband.

The bedroom scene! Yassss!!!

“The man from Tallahassee? What is that, some kind of code?” – “No, John, unfortunately we don’t have a code for: there’s a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter’s head. Although we obviously should.” FUCK YAAAAS!!!!

“I know you, John Locke. […] Tell me John, did it hurt?” – “I felt my back break. What do you think?”

I like Tom Friendly – he really lives up to his name.

I can’t believe that Jack – the only doctor the survivors have – wants to leave the island all because Kate fucked Sawyer. Sounds like something a guy would do who’d detonate a hydrogen bomb because his girlfriend left him.

Ben and John out-sassing and manipulating each other is foreplay tbh.

“I was born on this island…” LIAR!

THE MAGIC BOX!!!! Fgnidgnidflsgnlkdd FUUUUUCK!!!! SHIT’S GETTING REAL!!!

Also a very rare occasion in which Ben’s beautiful face has no wounds, scratches, bruises…

You can see I adore this episode by how much I have to say about it even if it’s just a ramble of feels

And now it’s bondage John!

“And then you came striding out of the jungle, John, to make my dream come true.”

episode 14 – Expose:

Wow… I can’t believe I’m already that far down into my rewatch.

Unpopular opinion: I actually love Expose. It’s so… useless and dorky that it’s amazing!

“I’m just a guest star and we all know what happens to guest stars.”

It’s Boone and Shannon *cries forever*

I can’t believe someone called Maggie Grace and told her “hey, we know you got totally screwed over and we killed your character before you could have any substantial character development but… we need you back for an episode, you gotta scream your fucking lungs out of your body once more!”

Seriously…. This is the creepiest death on the whole show.

episode 15 – Left Behind:

Hahahaha it’s the one where Hurley tricks Sawyer into being nice

I loooove Cassidy and I love they mirrored this flashback with the Kate-and-Juliet-are-handcuffed-together episode

“My name is Kate.”

episode 16 – One Of Us:

It’s the one where Ben is very very creepy

That’s probably the only episode in which I can somehow understand the people who dislike Ben…. But I still love my dear rat boy!

episode 17 – Catch 22:

Ooowwww I love Desmond episodes

Oh Kate…why?!?!

I deadass forgot the whole freighter plot, like… I knew Miles & Co. where about to appear but I forgot how this whole thing started

episode 18 – D.O.C.:

Jin’s the only one who has a nice dad and a terrible mother

Also I just typed “John” instead of “Jin” which makes me wonder: where’s my bald jungle baby?

Aaaah first mention of fake 815

episode 19 – The Brig:

Fuuuuuck I’M NOT READY!!!

They made me miss my dear John for two (three?) entire episodes only to come back with this to totally rip my heart out

The “previously on” bit already wrecks me

IT’S THE PINS AND NEEDLES SCENE!!! Also known as: Ben tries this “flirting” all the cool kids are talking about.

Terry’s looking hot as fuck in that entire episode

Ben knocking out Anthony Cooper with his walking stick is my aesthetic.

Danielle causally poppin by to get some dynamite

“little hot for heaven, isn’t it?” – I would looooove this whole red herring if it weren’t for the “they were dead the whole time”-crowd

God that Anthony Cooper = The OG Mister Sawyer reveal is AMAZING!

“I thought I was special.” – “Well, everyone makes mistakes.”

Yes, James, KILL THAT ASSHOLE!!!

“I’m on my own journey now.”

episode 20 – The Man Behind The Curtain:

My precious Carrie Preston!

Uncle Horace

“Call him Benjamin.”

“You are the man behind the curtain – the wizard of Oz. And you’re a liar.”

Namaste!

Sterling Beaumon was the best casting choice for baby Ben!!!

Mikhail Bakunin still running like the devil’s chasing him (literally, kinda, considering Smokey revived him.)

John: [Ben] and I are going to see Jacob. – Everyone else: Wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Ben really has a history of very shitty birthdays.

And this is making me very emotional because it reminds me of the “video of tears and pain” which makes me wanna cry my fucking soul out.

“Kinda hard to celebrate on the day you killed you mom.” Oh fuck off, Roger.

Ben’s Bunny Bag™ back in action

“I don’t wanna go back there. I hate it there.”

The way Richard talks to baby Ben is soooo similar to the way Ben talks to John I’m gonna scream!!!

Okay but this is no kiddon the best episode of this entire show so far. Like… Nothing that happened up until this point compares to this!!!

I FORGOT ABOUT BEN SPEAKING TO AN EMPTY CHAIR!!!!

Still baffles me they thought they could slap some fake hair and make-up on Emerson’s face and make him look like a 20yo – when he was already older than Ben is in our now-timeline… like… was there no 20yo actor with a big nose and bug eyes around?!?!

“Goodbye, Dad!”

“The Dharma Initiative. They came here seeking harmony, but they couldn't even coexist with the Island's original inhabitants. And when it became clear that one side had to go, one side had to be purged, I did what I had to do. I was one of the people that was smart enough to make sure that I didn't end up in that ditch, which makes me considerably smarter than you, John.”

John Locke seriously bringing a knife to a gun fight!

alright kiddos, I am #fucked up now.

episode 21 – Greatest Hits:

How many episodes actually start with someone running through the jungle?

Danielle just showing up to blow something up!

According to Jack this is day 90? So it takes another 18 days for them to actually get off the island at that point?!?! Wow.

Guess that’s the end of bunny #8

episodes 22 & 23 – Through the Looking Glass:

OH MY GOD IT’S THE FIRST FLASH FORWARD!!!

“WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!!”

“I’m a dentist. I am not Rambo.” – I love these two so much!!

Can you believe they thought it was a good idea to give Ben round glasses that make his eyes look even bigger than they already are? He looks like straight out of a manga.

There really is a lot of fatphobia in this episode.

It’s taller ghost Walt

ALEX AND DANIELLE MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! WELP!!!

Ben letting himself be tackled and punched by Jack is such a power move. I am 100% convinced he let it happen on purpose because it’s already canon that he can easily knock out friggin Sawyer!!!

NOT PENNY’S BOAT

From Ben’s perspective this is once again John “striding out of that jungle to make my dream come true”

“I don’t wanna shoot you.”

Remember when you watched that finale for the first time and didn’t know all the time it was a flash forward and not a flashback?!?!? And then Kate steps out of that car and you were all like WOOOOAAAAHHHH?!?!?!

Remember when you didn’t know whose funeral they were talking about?!?!?!

That last scene was the first time I found Jack actually likable and relatable!

WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!

#LOST #lost show #lost abc #Maddie rewatches LOST #finally finished s3 #this took me longer than 1 and 2 #because I was quite busy

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HOW TO HAVE A BIG DEAL

Google is again a case in point. If languages are all equivalent, sure, use Visual Basic. In either case there's not much you can learn, though perhaps habit might be a good plan. Nothing is forever, but the thousand little things the big companies.1 In the Valley it's not only programs that should be short. Life is too short for something. Partly because, as components of oligopolies themselves, the corporations knew they could safely pass the cost on to their customers, because their competitors would have to as well.2 The alarming thing about Web-based software gets used round the clock, so everything you do is immediately put through the wringer. It's part of the mating dance with acquirers.3 Suppose you could find a really good manager.4 That's to be expected.

Change happened mostly by itself in the computer business.5 My life is full of case after case where I worked on something just because it pleased users, but also because you're less likely to start something.6 He turned out to be really tough than the quiet ones. The first yuppies did not work for startups. So the deals take longer, dilute you more, and they were all essentially mechanics and shopkeepers at first. Of course college students have to think about it if you're trying to make you learn stuff that's more advanced than you'll need in a job.7 The new fluidity of companies changed people's relationships with their employers. So one way to find out if you're suited to running a startup is a task where you can't always trust your instincts about people. Keep doing it when you start a company? Also, common spelling errors will tend to judge you by the distance between the starting point and where you are constantly making and testing small modifications. Everyone is focused on this type of approach now, but Fortran I didn't have them.

People who don't want to violate users' privacy, but even if it isn't, how do you pick out the people with better taste?8 But few big companies are smart enough yet to admit this to themselves.9 It's a better place for what they want. And that is a way to answer that is to try. An accumulator has to accumulate. A guilty pleasure is at least an interesting question.10 And since you can delay pushing the button for a while, you yourself tend to measure what you've done the same way taking a shower lets your thoughts drift a bit—and thus drift off the wrong path you'd been pursuing last night and onto the right one adjacent to it. The other end of the list, fixing them.11 And yet the prospect of a demo pushes most of them don't.

He didn't choose, the industry did.12 Have you ever noticed that when you sit down to write something that takes off, you may find that founders have moved on. Sam Altman, the co-founder? If we could answer that question it would be a good plan. Writing eval required inventing a notation representing Lisp functions as Lisp data, and such a notation was devised for the purposes of the paper with no thought that it would be used to express Lisp programs in practice. If you could find a really good manager. At best you can do in a startup.13

That's incremented by, not plus. Will you be able to dump ultimate responsibility for the whole company. It matters more to make something people want. Because it is the people. And then of course there are the tricks people play on themselves.14 The only thing professors trust is recommendations, preferably from people they know. Those of us on the maker's schedule. If you use this method, you'll get roughly the same answer I just gave. Seeing a painting they recognize from reproductions is so overwhelming that their response to it as a painting is drowned out.15

For example, in preindustrial societies like medieval Europe, when someone attacked you, you have to know if you bet on Web-based software is like desiging a city rather than a building: as well as talent, so this is what Bill Gates must have been dismayed when I jumped up to the whiteboard and launched into a presentation of our exciting new technology. If you're writing software that has to run on the server. A survey course in art history may be worthwhile. At any rate they didn't pursue the suit very vigorously.16 So there is a name for the phenomenon, Greenspun's Tenth Rule: Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad hoc informally-specified bug-ridden slow implementation of half of Common Lisp. You could just go out and buy a ready-made blank canvas. She assumed the problem was with her. If someone seems slippery, or bogus, or a tool for 3D animation. I advise fatalism. The most likely source of examples is math. Lots of small companies flourished, and did it by making cool things.17 A bad bug might not just crash one user's process; it could crash them all.

We do advise the companies we fund to apply for patents?18 Forms up to this challenge? But only about 10% of the time not to defend yourself. But it's possible to be part of a larger group; and you're subject to a lot of macros, and I can't predict what's going to happen increasingly often in the future and they sensed that something was missing. When it got big enough, IBM decided it was worth paying attention to. Ideas 1-5 are now widespread. You only get 52 weekends with your 2 year old.19 Why not start a startup? A painting familiar from reproductions looks more familiar from ten feet away; close in you see details that get lost in reproductions, and which you're therefore seeing for the first time. The most important, obviously, is that you can write a spreadsheet that several people can use simultaneously from different locations without special client software, or resold Web-based software gives you unprecedented information about their behavior. I feel a bit dishonest recommending that route. Yet that doesn't seem quite right, does it?

Notes

Acquirers can be said to have them soon.

Which in turn the most valuable aspects of the first thing they'd want; it has no competitors. The root of the next time you raise them.

The University of Vermont: The Duty of Genius, Penguin, 1991. You know in their voices will be regarded in the past, and it doesn't commit you to remain in denial about your conversations with potential earnings. One way to explain how you'd figure out yet whether you'll succeed. I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, being offered large bribes by the National Center for Education Statistics, the space of ideas doesn't have users.

That's why the series AA terms and write them a microcomputer, and I had zero effect on the world, and it would have seemed to Aristotle the core: the energy they emit encourages other ambitious people, but even there people tend to be writing with conviction.

Whoever fed the style section reporter this story about suits coming back would have seemed to Aristotle the core: the editor written in C, which are a small percentage of GDP were about 60,000 computers attached to the option of deferring to a company's revenues as the first year or two make the people they want to live in a more general rule: focus on growth instead of just doing things, a lot would be very unhealthy. But a couple of hackers with no business experience to start startups. Plus ca change.

MITE Corp.

Other investors might assume that the money right now.

Horace, Sat.

In fact, for the same trick of enriching himself at the time I know for sure whether, e. If not, don't even try. In principle yes, of course there is a meaningful idea for human audiences.

It's to make a conscious effort to be very popular but from which a few additional sources on their appearance. But he got killed in the other meanings.

A lot of face to face meetings.

There were lots of potential winners, which would be critical to do better. But if A supports, say, ending up on the order of 10,000 people or so, even if they miss just a few VC firms. In a typical fund, half the companies fail, most of the number of spams that you could probably write a book or movie or desktop application in this new world. Internally most companies are also the 11% most susceptible to charisma.

When that happens, it increases your confidence in a band, or at such a dangerous mistake to believe, is that if you like a little about how closely the remarks attributed to them more professional.

7x a year, but its value was as bad an employee as this place was a good open-source browser. Trevor Blackwell, who may have now missed the video boat entirely. It's worth taking extreme measures to avoid variable capture and multiple evaluation; Hart's examples are subject to both write the sort of Gresham's Law of conversations.

01. According to Sports Illustrated, the manager mostly in good ways.

Digg's algorithm is very visible in Silicon Valley like the Segway and Google Wave. But you can play it safe by excluding VC firms regularly cold email.

There may be to ask permission to go out running or sit home and watch TV, music, and also what we'd call random facts, like indifference to individual users.

This must have been in preliterate societies to remember and pass on the way we met Charlie Cheever sitting near the door.

Some professors do create a great founder is in the top and get pushed down by new arrivals. This was made particularly clear in our own online store.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #dance #industry #revenues #sup #demo #societies #case #maker #way #eval #top #place #habit #Statistics #course #half #people #li #Ideas #schedule #year #bug #Forms #fluidity

[paullicino]

The Wizard

I wonder if you can help me, I'm trying to find a wizard.

My wizard is lost thirty-five years in the past, though I can still remember them so very clearly. They're shaped like a miniature pyramid with arms, their sides all staggered by pixels. This is my wizard.

Maybe the wizard's arms are a little longer or a little shorter. Perhaps one is bent at the elbow. It's those billowingly blocky robes that I remember the most.

I can't tell you what colour those robes are, because I only ever saw them through a black and white monitor, small and heavy, the near-square shape that all our screens were then. I think the wizard hung out with a lot of other wizards and priests and demons and beasts, the sort of contemporaries that have always collected together in the castles and catacombs we craft for them. The sort that are lined up for us to knock down, arranged to present an ever-increasing challenge. The colour of each of these beings mattered very much and the limits of black and white prevented me from ever figuring out exactly who was who, what was what. It's part of what contributed to my wizard being an enduring mystery, to the confusion I always felt when I visited them and their companions.

I remember the sparse, top-down environments through which this wizard moved, stepping from space to space without animation or articulation, through rectangular rooms that were little more than a void. Back then, so many video game worlds were huge vacuums of nothing, wide and blank spaces of black or white loosely defined by rigid lines and bold colours. Now, they look more like Mondrian paintings than recognisable realities and yet the inclusion of one distinct element, a basic attempt at brickwork or a square and spindly tree, is all it takes to tug you toward them. Combine that with the imagination of a child, with its extraordinary ability to fill in every detail, and there was more than enough to be excited about.

I think the wizard may have lived in one of several games that were part of a series. I don't remember which number in the series, what the series was called, or how long it ran for. This is the detail I feel less sure of, but I’m certain of everything else. Certain, in the way that our simultaneously tattered and yet tenacious human memories can dig their hooks into the tiniest of details and make us so sure of the vaguest of qualities.

Thirty-five years on, that hook is still caught into something and, like a fishing rod, my mind bends toward it, urging me to tug, to reel in the past. For decades now, this damn wizard has popped back into my mind. Sometimes when this happens I resume my search. I never make any progress.

The wizard manifested on our Commodore VIC-20, a home computer with five kilobytes of RAM, though I think we had an expansion pack that boosted this by a magnificent thirty-two more, all of it packed in to a chunky rectangle of metal that hung out the back of the machine. At night, the wizard slept on one of a countless collection of cassette tapes made anonymous by poor labelling and terrible sorting. I have no idea where any of these tapes came from and how many generations old the copies on them were. I rarely knew what was on any of them. I certainly wouldn’t call them curated.

Some of those tapes ran for only fifteen minutes each side, designed precisely for storing the small amounts of data required for single programs. Others were the kind used to copy music off the radio or vinyl and ran for a colossal ninety. All were full of countless games, each following the other into long, languid, linear infinity. There was no way to know what you'd find except by slipping one into the player and waiting to see what it would read. These tapes weren't always taken care of and sometimes five minutes of spooling gave you nothing but corrupted data and a blank loading screen. It was time to reboot and start again or, more often than not, keep the tape playing and move on.

I lost what felt like incalculable aeons going through these tapes, though a tiny child's perception distorts time so melodramatically that waiting whole minutes for each game to load is remembered now as an endless procession of painful purgatories. So too is trying to understand games in their most basic and arcane iteration. Decades of video gaming have seen not only tremendous leaps in technology, but also in presentation, interface and accessibility. Games have become so much more coherent, better at telling us what we should do and how we should do it. The much younger me was stuck trying to understand if I was bad at playing a video game, or if the video game was bad at being a video game. And many were.

I never made any progress with my wizard. I didn't know what was expected of me and, with so many tapes to try, I spent more time on other games. I have far firmer memories of text adventures that I'm sure improved my reading skills, of the VIC-20's version of Centipede, or of the infuriating Cops 'n' Robbers and its similarly sparse world. I imagine that most of the things I played would've disappeared into obscurity were it not for the internet's wealth of specialist retrospectives, where no topic is too niche and no dive too deep. Now, I get to see the games I played in the colours they were given. I only had to wait entire decades.

And yet I still cannot find my wizard.

All retrospection brings depth, as well as context, and I don't find the act of looking back to be one of rose-tinted romanticism. I find it one that brings a broader awareness and a greater understanding. Every time I search for my wizard I’m dragged back to an increasingly distracting version of the 1980s that becomes ever more elaborate. I never see the era the way that I did as a child. I see its versions of political unrest and social upheaval. I see its particular social divisions. And I see the ways people thought that technology would change their world, contrasted with the ways it really did.

And I like catching different flavours of the future that we cooked up during this time, because they're really about the present that was, about its hopes and values and aspirations, about Reaganomics and free markets and how technology will make us all rich and people of leisure, not anxious and underemployed. And these visions are dotted with tiny, tell-tale details that recall so many of our assumptions. The screens in so much 80s sci-fi are the same aspect ratio as our old televisions, as my small and heavy black and white monitor. However we saw the future back then, its media remained magnificently square.

I don't remember the moral panics of the time and I must have sidestepped most of them, but I do know that, even then, video games were supposed to make us violent and volatile. Movies, too. And Dungeons & Dragons was the most corrupting influence of all, leading children to death and to the devil. What I do remember is people really believing that television would ruin your eyesight. I'm infinitely grateful that the rumours of the time never gained enough momentum to impact my interests. Otherwise, I might not have a job.

I know where my wizard isn't, after searching in so many places. I know they aren’t from the later game Chaos, and I know they had friends who were similar in shape to ZX Spectrum hero Horace, like the headless humans of legend. But that’s all. Lately, I have begun to worry that I will never find them, because I will never have enough information, but that still doesn’t stop these recurring midnight meanderings that see me tunnel back through time.

I wonder what would stop them. I wonder if they will only lead me to a greater understanding of the past, even of myself, and that finally finding my wizard might end that journey prematurely. I wonder if it will be an anticlimax. I worry that it might ruin things.

And yet I keep trying.

I wonder if you can help me, I'm trying to find a wizard.

(Taken from my Patreon. If you enjoyed this writing, please consider supporting me there, where you can find much, much more.)

#Patreon #The Wizard #VIC-20 #retrospective #video games #the 80s

[savetopnow]

2018-03-11 11 EDUCATION now

EDUCATION

Cathy Jo Nelson

Choose USC-SLIS for your MLIS!

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Put a positive spin on it

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5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

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Rethinking Professional Development So It Actually Improves Teaching

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Mndshift

Using Expressive Writing To Keep Students Grounded and Engaged in Science Courses

Can Online Learning Level the AP Playing Field for Rural Students?

How Empowering Girls to Confront Conflict and Buck Perfection Helps Their Well-Being

How To Ease Students Into Independent Inquiry Projects

Pediatricians Call For Universal Depression Screening For Teens

Parents Countdown to College

Defanging Social Media

Spring College Visits Aren’t Just for Juniors

How One Student Hacked the College System

The College Selection Dilemma: Big or Small?

Should You “Follow the Money” When Choosing a College?

Reddit Education

Teacher placed on leave after being caught on video telling couple "go back to your home country"

How a District Integrates SEL ( Social Emotional Learning ) With Academics

American Common Core VS. Specialized education at younger and younger ages

West Virginia Teachers Win; DeVos Gets Pushback

Do Police Officers In Schools Really Make Them Safer?

Study Hacks Blog

Tim Wu on the Tyranny of Convenience

Sebastian Junger Never Owned a Smartphone (and Why This Matters)

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The TeachThought Podcast Ep. 109 What The Research Says About Quality PBL

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Secret Teacher: the focus on exams is failing GCSE students

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Classroom pay: ‘My male colleague was paid £7,000 more than me’

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The Answer Sheet

Why Florida school superintendents oppose new gun law Gov. Scott just signed

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A teacher was accused of lacking testosterone for opposing giving guns to educators. Here’s what his 7th-graders said about that.

Survey: Parents want to help kids learn science — but many have no idea how

Oklahoma teacher: My contract said I worked 6.5 hours a day and had summers off. In my dreams.

The Best Education Blog

Diane Ravitch's Blog: Network for Public Education Releases a Parents’ Guide to Online Learning

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Janresseger: New Brief Examines Injustice in U.S. Public Education Fifty Years After the Kerner Commission Report

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The Principal's Page

You Need More Than the Ability to Take Standardized Tests.

I Don’t Live at School and I’m Sorry You Had to See Me Like This.

Not Every Bad Behavior is Bullying.

Enough Panic. Just Stop It.

Cell Phone Contracts. Do This for Your Child.

eLearning Industry

How To Use Content Marketing To Boost LMS Sales

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#education

[coppicefics]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ‘MASKED OMENS’, PLEASE DON’T REBLOG!

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads ‘Masked Omens’. Overlaid on top of all this are the words ‘MAJOR SPOILERS’ in large white capitals.

Image 2 & 3 - A double-page spread from the ‘Feature’ section of the Capital Herald, dated Saturday, 15th May 2021. The information is arranged in boxes with pale peach coloured backgrounds. Each box also contains a picture of the character or characters described therein - two of these characters are symbolised by random background characters from Good Omens. Full transcript below the cut. End ID.]

The Capital Herald, Saturday 15th May, 2021 Feature, page 8-9

Where are they now? The Celebrities behind the masks of The Masked Singer UK’s first live series, three months later They sang, danced, and were unmasked live in front of the nation. But what do their lives look like beyond the mask? We caught up with 2021′s Masked Singers to find out what’s changed MARY HODGES with additional contributions by EDWARD BIGGS & SCUZZ FISHER

Page 8

Top left: Dr. Raven Sable - APPLE Dr. Sable is awaiting the dates of an inquiry into the hospitalisations of Adam Mann and Lilith Root, former ambassadors for his CHOW brand, who allege that their conditions were the direct result of their employment with him. If the allegations are upheld, it's likely that Sable will be struck off and will no longer be permitted to practice medicine. Already, sales of his CHOW lifestyle products and books are down and stocks in his company are plummeting. Sable maintains his innocence on all counts.

Top right: Newton Pulsifer - AXOLOTL Anathema Device - BLACK CAT The unexpected it-couple of the year were spotted having a cosy picnic just last week. It seems love's young dream still has its hold on this adorable pair, who obliged passing reporters with a few posed photographs before asking for privacy for the rest of their date.The two made their relationship public at the beginning of April, and so far they show no signs of tiring of one another. Pulsifer is preparing to provide commentary on the Premier League starting in August, and Device is scheduled to set off on a UK tour in October.

Centre left: Carmine Zugiber - WAR Zugiber recently returned to Celestan, just in time to report on its division into Lestern and Fernor. While the fighting has now largely died down, Carmine intends to stay on in the country to report on the political situation as it develops. While some of her reports will be published through News World Weekly, she's also established a new website of her own where she can, as she says in the introductory post, “dig deeper into the underlying factors beneath the headlines”.

Centre right: Esther James - NINJA After leading the Red Roses to Six Nations victory in March, James began work – alongside her girlfriend, Jane Adams – on setting up a charitable foundation to encourage LGBT+ youngsters to pursue their sporting dreams. Officially set to launch in June this year, Off The Pridelines will offer scholarships, help connect youngsters with teams, and run various support services, as well as a training and accreditation scheme for teams and venues to become more supportive. “A lot of gay and trans kids have a lot of fear tied up with school PE lessons, changing rooms, and sports. Many don't know where they can safely train or play,” James states in the foundation's pre-launch press pack. “Off The Pridelines aims to fix that and help them become more confident and active without having to hide who they are.”

Bottom left: Sergeant Shadwell - BELL As well as forming an unlikely duo with Marjorie Potts – the two have been spotted together in tea shops, at antiques fairs, and even admiring the properties in the window of an estate agent's – Shadwell has been making frequent trips to the town of Little Dyvyn, where work on the restoration of Godleigh Manor has recently been allowed to begin. “Lucy [Godleigh, the owner] is really keen to keep the Wytchfynder Army informed and involved in the process, and I think it's really interesting to get to see inside the walls of the place,” Shadwell told viewers in a recent YouTube video, “so I reckon I'll pop in every so often, have a look around and report anything interesting I find out. For example, that rattling noise from the first video? Turns out there are wooden window shutters inside a hollow wall, and a draft was blowing through them. Something to keep in mind in future 'haunting' cases.”

Bottom Right:

Agnes Nutter - BONFIRE “Some stories wait for no-one,” as Nutter tweeted a couple of weeks ago, and that certainly seems to have been true of her latest book. Just a month after she first mentioned that she'd begun writing a new novel, Nutter has already reported that the first draft is almost finished, and she appears to be planning for a September release date. “I'm going to dedicate this one to my new friend Marjorie,” she told Twitter, “she's been a font of fascinating anecdotes and very generous in allowing me to draw inspiration from them.”

Page 9

Top left: Pat Maputi - SQUID P-White's Chalkdust tour is in full swing, with packed crowds selling out arenas across the UK and Europe. Tickets are currently on sale for the American stretch of the tour, which should keep Pat busy until next spring. After that, Maputi plans to “sleep for about a month and then start writing a new album”, they told the Capital Herald – although they will be making time to attend the Blue Peter garden party. For now, though, it's life on the road for Maputi as they wrap up this leg of the tour.

Top centre: Aziraphale Fell - GOOSE Anthony Crowley - SNAKE The Amazing Mr. Fell's magic show has been sold out for three solid months, ever since his appearance on The Masked Singer, and even adding extra shows on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons doesn't seem to have entirely sated the public's demand. Fell himself seems to be spending most of his time off in the company of Anthony Crowley, predominantly in various London restaurant establishments. Most recently, the two were spotted enjoying a late lunch at the Ritz to celebrate the announcement that Crowley has been cast as Rafferty in the new TV adaptation of Sir Thomas Parsett's The Grasswater Affair. “Yeah, thrilled to get another go at Grasswater,” Crowley told the Capital Herald, “and with the support of Noel [Garmin, showrunner] and all the people who've helped me reach the point where this is possible.” Asked about the nature of his friendship with Fell, Crowley seemed lost for words, but Fell stepped in with a brief statement. “I'm afraid it's quite ineffable. And, if you don't mind, I believe those are our desserts.” So it seems The Masked Singer's contestants still have some mysteries for us!

Bottom left: Marjorie Potts - TEAPOT Madame Tracy has been a very busy woman – as well as returning to TV with her show Drawing Back the Veil on Saturday nights, she's also still writing for the New Aquarian and overseeing her increasingly popular Psychic Hotline. But despite all this, she's also found time to be seen at the forefront of a couple of protests, notably against proposed changes to the Freedom Pass system, alongside fellow Masked Singer contestants Agnes Nutter and Sergeant Shadwell. The latter has also been seen making frequent calls to Potts' Camden address – but she's tight-lipped on the subject. “I don't kiss and tell, dear,” she told our reporter – and perhaps you can draw your own conclusions from that.

Bottom centre: Lawrence Richmond - PONY Last week's General Election - the third in four years - saw Richmond lose the Toffley South seat he'd occupied since 2005. In a speech to his supporters immediately after the result was declared, he announced his intention to take a brief break from politics in order to spend more time with his family, and is currently holidaying with wife Victoria and son Horace in the South of France.

Right-hand column: AND THE REST... Jeremy Wensleydale While Wensleydale is currently in rehearsals for a production of Turandot at Glyndebourne this summer, he has also found time to announce that he will be spending the autumn recording an album of some of his favourite operatic and choral numbers, along with a number of famous voices. This will be Wensleydale's first full album since 2018, and is already eagerly anticipated by his many fans. Brian Thames Thames is now coming to the end of his latest tour, The British Inquisition, and has recently found time to appear on several comedy panel shows and chat shows. He's then scheduled to run an online comedy masterclass, which he'll be recording immediately after his tour ends. “I had a teacher at school who told me I had a real talent for helping people remember things. I think usually it was just because they remembered the jokes. So I could hardly pass up this opportunity - this one's for you, Miss Tyler.” Pepper Moonchild Moonchild is currently filling in as a presenter on The One Show, and recently announced that she hopes to publish a detective novel next year. “I've been getting loads of advice from my literary hero, Agnes Nutter – it's something I've always wanted to do, but my agent at the time advised against diversifying too much. My new agent has been nothing but supportive - they even put me in touch with a good literary agent, so now all I have to do is write the best book I can and see how it goes!” Adam Young and Warlock Dowling After years of rumours and speculation about their relationship, presenters Adam Young and Warlock Dowling eloped to tie the knot in New York last weekend.“We didn't tell anyone we were getting married,” Dowling said, after breaking the news on Pam and Sam AM earlier this week. “Our families were a bit surprised! But we just wanted it to be really low key, a day just for us.” “Yeah, some glares were exchanged when people realised they'd missed out on a wedding,” Young confirmed. “But we're going to plan a big party soon! Besides, we didn't do anything in the Big Apple that wasn't worth the trouble we got in for doing it.”

[End Transcript]

#very much fake news #masked omens #masked omens spoiler #mine

[jwgammuto]

Monday Night Raw Review for 5/13/19

Well here we are. 6 days away from MITB, which looks like it could be a pretty good PPV. Raw has really been off the rails lately, what will the go home show for MITB bring from London? Only one way to find out with a little of The Good, The Bad, and the WTF: It can’t be any worse than last week Edition.

The Good: Sami Zayn replaces Strowman in the ladder match at MITB. Praise LBJ! This was a wonderfully brilliant decision and they even set it up in a fairly smart way. Zayn and Braun arguing along with Shane backstage about the garbage stunt ends up creating a falls count anywhere match for Braun’s spot in the PPV. Zayn gets primarily destroyed but interference from Bartender Corbin and McIntyre keep Zayn in it. Obviously these two see Braun as a threat to win so they want him out. Eventually Braun succumbs to the triple team after some solid spots and a broken Zayn makes the cover. Not only is Zayn’s skill set much more useful for a ladder match, this is a great way to utilize the heat he’s been acquiring for weeks with the crowds. I expect Braun to interfere somehow on Sunday but that’s a hell of a lot better than having to figure out how to use him in the match without letting him win or looking very weak. A rare A+ decision by WWE lately.

Becky2Moves and her opponents at MITB do the contract signing thing. This wasn’t anything epic and it was a pretty boilerplate segment for this type of thing but I like the twin blonde towers standing tall over Lynch after all her mouth running for about 10 minutes. Still impressive watching Evans fight in a sun dress and heels. How she never gets hurt is incredible. In an era where they rarely build characters well anymore, they have done an admirable job with Evans and her standing along side Charlotte just lends her more credibility. Still think Lynch should lose one belt Sunday but I can’t quite tell if that’s the plan or not or which one it would be.

Bray Wyatt transforms into an extra from The Purge. Finally we’re getting a little forward progress with this insane gimmick. It’s getting darker week to week. Now have him debut in the ring somehow at MITB. This whole Firefly FunHouse thing is insane but at least it’s unique and different. I’m willing to reserve total judgement until we see what the actual plan is. Don’t blow this, WWE.

Bartender Corbin vs Ricochet. A pretty damn good match. I know people hate Corbin and he is definitely overbooked but I stand by his solid ring work and both guys brought it here. Don’t necessarily love The One and Only’s losing streak here but the sequence that led to the End of Days was badass and Ricochet got a measure of revenge while Baron tried to celebrate on a ladder. As far as go home PPV match bookings go, this was solid.

Alexa Bliss manipulating Nikki Cross into taking her place in the fatal four way precursor to Sunday’s MITB match. Bliss is at her best when she’s pulling peoples’ strings and playing the helpless damsel who just needs a friend. Cross gets some tv time and potentially a future program with Alexa. This appears to be wins across the board. Nikki with some apparent plastic surgery, lighter makeup, and less insane demeanor was pretty off putting at first but was quickly corrected as she went to the ring and reverted back to her Sanity persona. Nikki gets the win over Natty after a strangely not terrible 4 way dance that included some pretty good work from Dana Brooke? And Naomi. It gave me a small bit of hope that the ladder match won’t be absolutely unwatchable as other women’s ones have been in the past.

Rey Mysterio vs Cesaro. Another solid match. Good chemistry between the two. Cesaro is so damn underrated. Someday. Please get this guy in a title feud. Rey looked good and was booked strong headed into his match Sunday for the US title with Joe.

The Bad: Seth Rollins and AJ don’t get a face to face for the go home show? Boo to this. Yes they’ve already had a handful of physical altercations and I’m glad they didn’t book another awful tag match or something but I kind of wanted something more than two backstage promos here. That match is going to be awesome and it deserved more attention last night.

The Revival address the USO preschool and their juvenile behavior of late. I dig Dash and Dawson getting serious, but I would have preferred a little revenge. Maybe a run in on an USOs tag match ending with a Shatter Machine to send a message for Sunday. Less talkey, no flips, just fists.

Miz TV starring Roman Reigns, interrupted by Shane O, followed the tag match nobody asked for with Lashley and Elias. Misuse across the board here. Reigns is approaching overbooked status again even though he’s in a mid card feud with Elias. He doesn’t need to be on both shows. Nobody cares. Elias needs a mic to be effective. He didn’t have one. And don’t get me started on how somebody needs to put a bullet in this Miz/Shane feud.

The WTF: Emo Rawley finally debuts with the same garbage booking he has gotten every time the company has tried to push him before. He’s an angry aggro bro. But this time he has Glacier face paint and an Ollie’s brand Reigns chest protector! It’s so depressing that so many talents want out of WWE because they can’t get decent booking and the company chooses to focus any amount of time on this punch bowl turd. Anyway, AggroBro destroys the infinitely more talented and likable Apollo Crews with a DEVASTATING combo of a chop block  (which I’m certain he learned playing Maryland football) and an Alabama Slam! Just one more reason to hate this.

How many weeks in a row are we going to have to endure this five minute Roman Reigns puff piece video package? They didn’t even change it. I get it. He’s a hero. *yawn*

Well that was a marked improvement over last week. Did Vince slip into a coma? This show was entertaining, paced well, had some interesting developments, and best of all, was consistent. It’s a miracle! This was a better go home Raw than the one for Wrestlemania. More of this please tonight. 4 stiff Hogan Belt Whips for Horace Hogan! Top Guy...impressed....and OUT!

#WWE Raw #WWE #pro wrestling #WWE WWEraw ProWrestling Wrestling Raw #blogger

[lindyhunt]

10 Universal Writing Rules from The Onion’s Founding Editor

“If you want to create a great piece of writing, you have to be in total control of the reader’s experience,” said Scott Dikkers, The Onion’s founding editor and longest-serving editor-in-chief.

Dikkers held the position from 1988 to 1999, then from 2005 to 2008, and again from 2011 to 2013. He’s also a screenwriter and a #1 New York Times best selling author with more than twenty books to his name.

During his tenure, The Onion evolved from a local print magazine in Madison, Wisconsin, into a satirical juggernaut. Today, it’s a globally renowned media house with nearly 20 million social followers and over 10 million monthly visitors.

We were speaking over the phone. I was interviewing Scott to better understand his approach to writing, the process he uses to engage and connect with readers.

“The reader is a puppet and the writer is pulling the strings,” said Dikkers.

“The writer’s job is to manipulate the reader’s emotions, to push their buttons — and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re never going to succeed, whether you’re writing satire or anything else.”

Needless to say, if anybody knows how to write great content — content that readers can’t help but to consume, share, and come back to again and again — it’s Scott Dikkers. He grew The Onion from a seed in the dirt to a brand that commands attention around the world.

This article is about the writing principles that enabled his success.

Scott Dikkers, On Writing

The Onion is a humor publication. Its content is satire. That is, the jokes have something to say about the world, about society, politics, and people with power.

Over the years, Dikkers has punched up and published thousands of articles that have made readers laugh — and think. And like any professional editor, he’s maintained his standards by following a set of guidelines.

In his book, How to Write Funny, Scott details his process, explaining how to create hilarious writing at an elite level. And while some of his techniques are specific to crafting jokes, many are also applicable to any writing discipline.

Dikkers and other talented humorists are playing by the same engagement rules as are copywriters and content marketers.

In other words, the tenants of humor writing are transferable to lead-gen articles and columns, landing pages and emails, web pages, video scripts, and speeches.

Because every writer’s goal is identical: control the reader’s experience.

When you have control, you have leverage to deliver the message in an engaging and compelling way, a way that sells. And whether you’re selling a product or a service, a belief system or a joke, following these writing principles will help you reliably hook, engage, and compel readers.

Ready for a master class? Let’s dive in …

1. Concept is king.

“What’s going to make your content stand out?”

For a long time, The Onion was a physical weekly newspaper distributed for free on the street. So, in the early days — before anyone cared enough about the brand to seek it out — the success of every issue hinged on the strength of its headline.

“I knew we had to grab people’s attention with the concept, the headline,” said Dikkers. “I knew we had to put the joke first so that people were laughing before they even picked up the paper.”

Decades later, the internet has only reinforced this principle.

“We live in an attention economy where there are billions of online articles to read,” said Dikkers. “But when the headline really speaks to you — when it addresses a personal problem or promises to answer a burning question — you’re going to click it. You’re going to read that article.

“Your concept — and I would equate that with your headline or title — is the flag you’re raising, it's the shingle on your door. And if it��s not a good concept or the right concept, then you’re sunk before you’ve even written a word.”

How do you know what the “right” concept is? Start with your target audience:

What pleasures are they seeking?

What pains are they trying to assuage?

2. The key to quality is quantity.

“Basically, 95% of everything we create is garbage.”

When The Onion grew to about six or seven staff writers, each one was expected to bring 20 headlines to a weekly brainstorming meeting.

“We quickly realized that the quality of our ideas increased with the number of ideas people brought in,” said Dikkers. “When you have six high-performing comedy writers coming up with 20 ideas each, you’re gonna walk away with a dozen headlines that are just solid, I mean really funny — and that practice is still in use at The Onion.”

Today’s team examines several hundred headlines every week, picking only a dozen or so for publication. Late-night talk shows follow the same strategy: selecting their best monologue jokes from a place of abundance.

“This is how professionals work,” said Dikkers, “because they understand that most of what they write is dreck.”

3. Omit needless words.

“The shorter the better.”

Superfluous words take up space, slow down the reader, and dilute the message.

“Any time I edit a joke, I look for ways to reduce,” said Dikkers. “Cutting even a single syllable can make the joke punchier, better.

“But this applies to all kinds of writing because when you trim the fat, you get to the core of your message. And sometimes, after you’ve cut everything, you could realize that you weren’t really saying anything at all — and while that realization might be sad, it’s also very valuable.

“Because if you don’t have a message, why are you writing in the first place?”

4. Ruffle some feathers.

“This is how your message will stand the test of time.”

Satire is divided into a couple categories, which are based on two ancient Roman satirists: Juvenal and Horace.

Horatian satire, generally, is not offensive. It’s acceptable to all strata of society because it’s relatively gentle and light-hearted, designed to amuse people and get a laugh. It’s foolish and innocent and superficial, like a court jester.

Juvenalian satire, on the other hand, pushes buttons. It addresses perceived social evils, poking holes in the status quo. It defends the marginalized and speaks truth to power. It’s bitter and dangerous and important, like 1984.

“Thing is, Horatian satire isn’t really remembered because it’s toothless,” said Dikkers. “It might get a lot of laughs today but it’s not going to live in our cultural memory. Only satire that angers or offends people will be remembered.”

What is your content’s message? What’s your goal?

5. Don’t fall in love.

“Kill your darlings.”

If you get so attached to an idea (e.g., a headline; a turn of phrase) that you’re unwilling to 1) hear feedback on it and 2) move onto something new, then you’re “in love.”

This happens a lot, especially to new writers with a small body of work. After all, the less work you have to your name, the more weight each new idea holds.

“When a writer has just one idea, it causes their soul to feel crushed when someone critiques that idea in a way that makes them doubt it,” said Dikkers. “They link that idea with their personality and, in turn, take any feedback as a personal slight against them.”

Avoid falling in love with any one idea. It’s unproductive, a distraction that’ll keep you from giving the audience what they want or need.

Serve your readers, not yourself.

6. Be specific.

“Detail almost always makes writing better.”

Specificity doesn’t necessarily call for verbosity. Instead, it demands clarity: crisp imagery that uses one or more of the five senses to paint a mental picture.

The Catcher in the Rye, for example, is saturated with specificity:

He came over and stood right in my light. “Hey,” I said. “I’ve read this sentence about twenty times since you came in.”

Notice how Salinger gives the reader incredible context — how he illustrates a clear physical and metaphysical image — using only a handful of words.

“Whether you’re writing humor or anything else, the same rule applies: use specific detail,” said Dikkers. “These little pieces of specific detail are critical because they help the author paint a picture that enables the reader to feel an emotion.”

And almost all writers should strive to conjure an emotional response, as it’ll compel people to take action: to laugh, to hit the like button, to take out their credit card and make a purchase.

7. Proofread.

“It’s a mode of conveying professionalism.”

Mistakes, even little ones, set something off in an editor’s brain — and it’s never anything good.

“When it comes to submitting — because many people get jobs in comedy by submitting a packet of jokes or sketches — you might’ve done all the hard work of learning how to write comedy and you’re perfect for the job,” explained Dikkers, “but if you don’t take the time to proofread it for grammar and spelling and syntax, there are plenty of other qualified, hilarious people who will. And they’ll get hired.

“Proofing your work is an easy way to increase your chances of achieving your goal, whether that’s connecting with readers or getting a life-changing job.”

8. Show, don’t tell.

“You’re going to be so much more effective at engaging an audience if you do.”

This concept can tie a knot in your brain because, as a writer, all you do is “tell” the reader things, right? How can you “show” people something by merely using black letters on a white page?

“It’s easy to say, ‘Bob is mean,’” said Dikkers. “That’s telling. You’re telling the reader what the character’s traits are. But if you show the character’s traits, it’s so much more engaging for the reader. So, instead, you’d say, ‘Bob just stabbed a baby through the heart!’”

Using an example, analogy, or any number of literary devices is just a better way to communicate information. It paints an image that conjures a feeling, an emotion — and that’s what readers want.

“If you want to write engaging content,” said Dikkers, “you need to take one step back, hide your message, and instead just show what you think and feel. Let the audience get there on their own.”

9. Make it accessible.

“Your writing needs to be understandable to just about every level of reader.”

If your writing is too dense, too complicated or confusing, most people won’t read it. As a writer, the onus is on you to compel people to read.

“Your work needs to reference things that people can understand without caveats or prerequisites,” said Dikkers. “It should be an easy-on ramp to the superhighway of your writing.”

Authorial intent, or the need to interpret the underlying meaning of an author’s work, has no place in the attention economy. As a 21st century writer, your priority is to ensure the audience understands you — and if they don’t, it’s your job to think, How can I make this more clear?

10. Know your joke and make sure the reader knows your joke.

“Always be in control.”

When you give a speech, you’re supposed to say what you’re going to talk about, then you talk about it, and then, at the end, you tell the audience what you talked about. In other words, be explicit. Make sure your point is unambiguous.

Of course, this principle applies to all writing.

“As a humor writer, you have to know your joke’s subtext,” said Dikkers. “You have to know what funny filters you’re using to elucidate that subtext and how you’re organizing your joke to make sure the audience is laughing at the right thing and time.

“You need to control as much of the experience as possible in order to make it all work.”

This is also true for copywriters and columnist, novelists, screenwriters, and playwrights. In fact, writers in every discipline must understand their topic, their audience, and the purpose behind their work.

Without that information, the puppeteer is pulling strings in the dark.

“Here’s the thing, Eddie,” said Scott.

I turned up the volume on my phone.

“Readers want to know they’re in the hands of a master who is going to manipulate them,” he said, “the way Spielberg does in his movies. He takes you on a ride, through the highs and lows. “Audiences love that. Readers love that. They want to be taken for that ride.”

Want more world-class writing advice from Scott Dikkers? Click HERE to preview his book, How to Write Funny, one of the best writing manuals I’ve ever read.