#i see it a lot for trans headcanons too (im cis so don't have many but like why tf are people trying to cancel trans people for transphobia) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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aita for pretending to be cis online? im a trans man and have been trans for almost ten years now. i am pre-most transition even though i would like to fully transition, due to money and medical phobia complications. i do not pass irl.

a few years ago i attempted stealth (saying i was a cis man) on a discord server before ultimately admitting to being trans because i was afraid everyone could tell, and was informed that even though they even heard my voice on the server, no one there suspected i was afab, and even when i said i was trans, some people assumed i was coming out as transfem, because i had passed myself as a cis man so well. this gave me euphoria, of course, and made me regret telling anyone since i was apparently passing so well.

i held onto those feelings, and a year or so after that, quietly changed my bios and stuff to remove the trans part. a little while after that, i started actively saying i was cis male in my bios and to new friends.

i should clarify this is not out of safety or fear of transphobia, all my family and irl friends know im trans and are 100% supportive, im lucky enough to live in a very progressive area, and my online existence is small and filled with tons of trans and supportive people. it's only because i feel dysphoric when i know people can perceive me as afab, and since i don't have control over that irl, i just want someone in the world to see me as amab, even if im not and never will be.

i also am not by any means a transmed. i myself am also gnc, and many many of my friends are loud and proud queer weirdos, and i am too with everything but my agab. i love the wacky ways other trans folks present their genders and refuse to sanitize themselves for cisciety. i do not think anyone should ever have to water down who they are for any reason and i don't think being afab makes anyone less of a man, just i personally don't like facing the fact that i am afab and would rather people see me as a cis man whenever i can control it.

this might be where the asshole comes in here, because being gnc, being surrounded by so many trans people and being in many "afab dominated" spaces (such as fanfic writers, tumblr, fandom in general honestly) as well as having a lot of trans headcanons makes me paranoid people are going to clock me and even if they don't say anything they'll know im faking being cis. because of that, and to avoid the dreaded "egg" conversations (people trying to insist or imply that ill soon "find out" that im transfem) ive sometimes been telling people when the subject comes up that i had experimented with my gender before and thought i was transfem or nonbinary in the past, so i sort of fit the idea of cis+ and that might be why i feel more trans than cis even though im definitely cis.

i also tell them im intersex and have trans family (both of these are true, though obviously im intersex in a different way than i say) to get them off my scent.

i know i dont owe anyone my agab, but when all is said and done, i am lying about my gender and history with gender exploration, and i kinda feel like im disrespecting other trans folks by implying it would personally feel better to be cis, like i can't relate to other trans people saying they never want to be cis and the goal of being trans isn't to be cis. but i do. i also worry that having trans hcs (including in sexual contexts) for characters while im presenting myself as cis makes people think im a chaser.

anyway sorry this is long, but aita for lying about my gender?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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probably-enjolras · 2 months

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Hi! I'm writing a genderbent(?) Les Mis retelling and would like some advice from queer les mis fans who might see this post. My enjolras-adjacent character is a demiromantic ace cis woman whose LI is a pan cis man (composite of mostly éponine and R). I've seen the takes on tumblr about enjonine and I'm wondering if this is queer erasure. For context, I myself am a queer woman, and the marisette pairing in my WIP is a lesbian couple. please help, i don't want to cause any harm to queer readers!

first, you can write whatever you want and i won’t stop you, this is all my opinion. if you decide to go down this route you will have people who will want to read it and that could be a great story for them. but here’s my personal take:

enjolras is INCREDIBLY queer coded. throughout the book he is repeatedly described as having no attraction to women, and even his attraction to men is debatable, which is why aroace headcanons are so common. i like that you’re keeping the demiromantic ace headcanon in your character, as someone who is aromantic and has a lot emotions about enjolras.

however, i just cannot see him(her) falling for a woman(man). there are too many lines about his lack of attraction to women and comparisons to historical gay male figures for me to think he would be attracted to a woman. so, in my opinion, having her being attracted to a cis male just doesn’t fit his character. I’m not even going to get into how i think enjolras is trans-coded but we won’t go into that, though if you wanted to make her a trans woman i would literally buy your book right away… just saying ;)

I do think the inclusion of so many sexualities is very important and i really like that, so take my potential situations with a grain of salt because if you want to keep what you have, it’s still a very queer story and has important representation that needs to be seen more.

HOWEVER! you said you’re combining R and Eponine! i think you can still do that, but just keep eponine’s gender and characteristics and mix that with grantaire’s characterics. or, to make it even more queer, maybe make eponine nonbinary/trans, either trans masc or neutral or trans fem, and explore that dynamic instead of the original queer dynamic in the book! or hell, keep them both cis but maybe make it a queerplatonic relationship thats not romantic at all because we’re severely lacking that in books and especially a QPR between a man and a woman because people seem to think men and women can’t be platonic to begin with, let alone have a QPR. there’s worlds of queer relationships out there and i think they would be fun to explore.

(also lesbian marisette sounds AMAZING absolutely no notes 10/10!)

so yeah, while i don’t like enjonine personally (i literally have it blocked in my filtered tags just because of the discourse lol) i can 100% see ways you can keep enjolras’ queer identity and still have it be enjonine. to use an old fandom term, ship and let ship. im glad you’re reaching out to queer fans, and if you wanna keep me posted on your story, i would love to hear how you’re developing it! i hope this makes sense and doesn’t box you into trying to please people, its YOUR retelling, at the end of the day its what makes YOU happy and how YOU want to tell your story. if you feel like this is trapping you in a box, just disregard everything i’m saying and do what you want and i wouldn’t judge you at all.

also, if any of my followers wants to jump in on this in the replies, go ahead!

best of luck!

#asks #(will this block my own post on my blog if it’s in my filtered tags? let’s see!)#enjonine

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rejector-of-mortal-flesh · 10 months

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So folks, I want to discuss something. I was browsing through Pinterest as I do occasionally and eventually drifted into Trans!Gwen Stacy posts. A lot of the posts made some pretty good points about how certain things in Across the Spiderverse and Into the Spiderverse pointed towards that or hinted that she was trans.

Now, I respect headcanons. If you think Gwen Stacy is trans, that's okay and cool. Just don't harass other folks with a different headcanon.

If you think she's not trans, that's okay and cool too. Same as earlier, just be respectful.

The thing that made me bristle a little was a comment on one of these posts.

I'll go through this comment line by line.

I get what people want from this but it also defeats the purpose of "everyone should be an ally"

Okay, I can sorta see what this means.

It does way more for the lgbt community to have gwen be an ally rather than be trans.

WHAT

Okay, I'm sorry but how exactly is a cis presumably het character being supportive of trans people doing more for the lgbtq community than her being trans and you know, being actual representation that we are severely lacking which helps guide people towards acceptance.

Like, I agree. Allies are incredibly important and we need our allies but to claim that it's doing more if a character is an ally vs her being a part of the lgbtq community is bonkers to me.

If she's trans, then it sends a message that only people with personal relations to lgbt people are supportive

How??? Because her dad also has a trans pin? Miles also has a personal relationship with her as do many of the other characters in the films but only her dad is wearing the pin.

Also, people who are supportive of the trans community who are not trans themselves do not tend to wear trans pins and keep trans flags in their bedroom of all places. If you support gay people, generally speaking you don't have a gay flag in your room if you're not gay.

How is saying that a character is trans because of some flags and pins, in a movie about spider people, giving a message that only people with personal relations are supportive when one of those people have personal relations with characters who aren't showing obvious support.

however since she isn't trans it sends the message that you can be an ally without having a family member or a connection to an lgbt person

Hoowwww??????😭😭🥲🥲

Im sorry, I'm just so confused. Why does a headcanon about a character being trans bother them this much?

So is every other person in the movie like Miles or Peter B, etc. assumed to not be an ally because they don't have pins and flags?

Like, every character is assumed to be an ally unless otherwise. Unless something about them shows that they would be against that, they're assumed to be supportive. So saying that a character shouldn't be trans because it sends a message that allies must have a personal relationship with an lgbtq member (still not sure how you get that) when literally no one else is using those pins or flags except them is bonkers to me. It is. Gwen is already presumed to be an ally. The flags and pins do not empathize that she is an ally, it really doesn't.

Okay let me state something after writing this.

I HAVE NO PROBLEM IF YOU HEADCANON GWEN AS TRANS OR IF YOU DON'T

I simply take issue with this comment alone.

#spiderman #into the spider verse #across the universe #gwen stacy #trans gwen stacy #transgender #this is my opinion as a trans person okay #if you don't agree thats okay but this is just my opinion

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thestobingirlie · 1 year

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omg that ask saying that steve being so far from autistic that it makes a mockery of the diagnosis. have they never heard of masking? i honestly call bs on them working with autistic people for years, because of it being a spectrum there are so many different ways people present and mask. both me and my sister are autistic, diagnosed by a medical professional (not that self diagnosis is less valid, but I could see that anon calling me on it). both of us share traits with steve. when she is masking, my sister is super confident and a really good people person. she can talk to almost everyone, and kind of flourishes in working in retail because she is good at talking to people, but is less good at actually making friends. I'm less good at talking to people in a casual way, but I can be a huge flirt when im focusing on masking, even if the flirting isn't good. and both of us get very attached to the people we care about and get jealous when the relationships feel threatened (very much like steve does over dustin becoming friends with Eddie).

and what does steve being trans masc have anything to do with his masculinity? a lot of trans masc guys are very masculine. what parts they were born with has nothing to do with how masculine someone is. and the feminine cis guy thing? some very masculine guys can be in touch with their feminine side. they like to incorporate little bits of femininity, and it doesn't affect his masculinity. (and I don't buy steve as this ultra hyper masculine guy anyway. because in the show he is pretty much the only guy shown to really put care and pride into his appearance. like his whole attitude with his hair doesn't really scream ultra masculine to me.)

and anyway, what is wrong with projecting onto a character? I'm over 18, so I don't feel comfortable projecting onto the kids, and it feels like we know the least about steve, so he is easy to project these traits onto, compared to some of the other characters.

yeah. they seemed really enraged that autistic people were witnessing their own traits in their favourite character. like, don’t get me wrong, some people do project too hard and strip characters of their entire personalities, but people wanting their favourite characters to be nd aren’t the problem. and yeah! autism is a spectrum, what one experiences, another won’t.

yeah, steve is interesting. because though he is quite a masculine character, he clearly doesn’t have an issue with some degree of femininity. he uses women’s hairspray and has a detailed and highly specific hair routine. like, steve isn’t as feminine as some in the fandom like to make him out to be, but that’s an entirely different issue to people that headcanon him as trans masc.

a big part of fandom is projection onto characters, everyone does it! does it sometimes get a bit annoying when a characters personality can get entirely wiped away, yes. and can some fandom wide headcanons be a bit iffy. sure! but honestly most of the headcanons that anon was annoyed about were some of the tamer ones.

#steve harrington #stranger things #asks #anon

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rubyneo · 2 years

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Making a new pinned post bc I lost my other one. Basic info can be found in my bio 🥰

I'm Cherry/Cj/Sage (they/them) and I'm your friendly local artist/writer/editor/general nuisance.

I post a lot about R/WBY, but you'll also be able to find posts about a lot of other stuff (S/PN, Ha/nnibal, 911, M/DZS, DC comics, etc)

I use tags for my mutuals and friends! Generally by name, but if I'm talking about multiple or in general I use the tag my internet mutual polycule is better than yours.

Bastardmance tag is for my wife Daisy/Rose moonedknights <3

I also have an untagged queue running with mainly aesthetic posts. (Sometimes I tag these, and you can find them under cj.aes, words, and poetry)

I tag vent-y/annoyed posts with cj.vent and salt tag, so you can filter those if you don't want to see those posts.

CHERRY BRANWYNS R/WBY FANDOM INDISCRETIONS:

if you're here because of the fallout between blaire tran/sjnpr and i last year: yes im still a big meanie who hates fun and popular ships, yes im still a nasty "panphobe" who thinks pansexuality and bisexuality are the SAME THING and pan people owe bi people $30 every time they say otherwise. here's my venmo for that :)

if you're here because of my past bmb/lb edits, posts, stories, headcanons, or the bee bible itself: im not a bee shipper anymore, though i can occasionally be convinced to make edits of them for friends or nice anons.

if you're here because you want to see if im a mean nasty little anti: bro i genuinely do not care anymore if i dont like you im gonna block and move on. if i dont like the content you produce im gonna block and move on. its very simple. dont bother me and im not gonna bother you. im 21 i dont care about pro v anti discourse anymore i just wanna make my blorbos kiss

if youre here because of ladybug: hiiii <3 please go pre-order the zine <3

if youre here because of the ECM weirdo freak post, yes i still think he is.

I DO unironically ship Qrow/Tyrian now. Cry about it <3

I think Sno/wfall is boring. It was cool at first but y'all had to make it a bland ass ship.

I've had this particular blog since November 2018, there's opinions on here that I don't hold anymore. I'm now a Cinder and Mercury fan, I think Cinder AND Salem are getting redeemed.

I still view Roman and Neo through a platonic lense and I don't take Roman Holiday as "canon" because of the stuff outlined in those linked posts.

Subsection of the above: I still think Neo is roughly the same age as the rest of the protagonists. (So 19-21)

I am a big meanie who hates popular ships. BB is boring, NND is interesting through a lense of Salem/Ozma's pattern being repeated and perhaps the issue of whether to bring Penny back or not giving the heroes sympathy for Salem's tragedy, FG was boring, WR is cool when my friends talk about it but too many of you are weird about it.

OTHER:

If you're here because of my donation post for my kitten: hi! Bumble went in for his surgery on 03/03/2022 and is healing at home. My mother loaned me $1k to pay it off and I'll be paying her back as I can.

I'm mainly a mobile user, so I may not notice if I've reblogged from someone nasty, so please feel free to send me an ask with a description of/link to the post and I'll happily delete it.

Trigger tagging: I TRY to remember to tag stuff, but I'm often using the fast reblog and queue functions so I'll probably miss things. Please let me know if you need something specific tagged.

Bi vs Pan discourse: I'm panphobic now.

Slurcourse: Stop trying to gatekeep slurs from people who are targeted by them 😭😭😭 Bi women are called the d slur, any flavor of gay person is called the f slur, cis people arent going to ask if im transfemme or transmasc before calling me the t slur when they find out i'm trans. The q slur is a slur as much as it's an identity.

Subset of the above: Use whatever identifier makes you feel comfortable, don't call ME q***r. Posts with it are tagged "q word" for blacklist usually.

Just...show respect and compassion for other people and don't call people slurs without their permission.

#cj.txt #don't rb

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kiunlo · 4 years

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lmao this is gonna be a fucking controversial post but whatever, not like i haven't done this shit before.

am i just the only one that has a weird and complicated relationship when it comes to reader-insert imagines/headcanon blogs???

Like, idk if i depends on the fandom or whatever but i've noticed that in my specific fandom (that i don't want to name) there's a huge focus on female reader-inserts over any other type of readers. which isn't inherently bad at all, but even if a particular blog focuses on keeping each reader insert "gender neutral"...you can tell that it's skewed heavily to be more relatable to cis women than it is to anyone else. which i do not think is on purpose, but it is something i've noticed.

I feel a lot like many reader-insert blogs try to be inclusive as they can by doing gender neutral reader inserts, or even trying to specify afab readers (never amab...surprisingly....) so it can be more inclusive to trans guys and nb people, but it clearly comes off as a half-hearted attempt when you start to actually read some of the content. like, as a trans guy i've never read a reader-insert that specifically specified an afab reader and NOT thought "yeah there's no way this is a trans guy". doesn't matter if it's a smutty reader-insert or not, it just really doesn't relate to me as a trans guy. at all.

like yeah, i know that whenever someone writes a reader-insert, there will always be someone that's going to be alienated because no one is ever going to have the exact same experiences, but if you're gonna specify an afab reader and not just a cis woman reader, you're including trans men and non-binary people under that category. and when transguys and enbies read your reader-insert and it feels way too cis-centric, it just feels like a half-hearted attempt at inclusion.

this is especially noticable in smutty ready-inserts, where an afab reader is specified, and sexual things happen on areas of the body that for many trans guys and enbies can be really dysphoric, but is obviously no issue for a cis woman.

tbh this is kind of the problem with even specifying "afab reader" in the first place. cis women, trans guys and enbies all fit under the same category as "afab" yet our experiences differ wildly due to our identity and experiences within that identity, and the way society treats us because of that identity. a trans man will not experience vaginal sex the same way a cis woman will, and neither will a cis woman experience vaginal sex the same way an enby will, etc. Many trans men and enbies don't even like or have vaginal sex at all because it's far too dysphoric for them. (I'm the exception to this rule, but that's not the point).

I can also quite clearly tell that when someone specifies a female reader, it's almost always a cis woman reader. I've not read many reader-inserts that specified a female reader that could be interpreted as being trans women, because they're often really focused on the body, which- again- tends to be very cis-centric.

like noah fence but it's just frustrating to read a reader-insert and feel like...ur being unrepresented. any male reader-inserts (which i find are already rare in and of themselves) are very cis-centric, and many "afab reader" inserts feel very much the same as a lot of the writers are cis women and cannot write trans men or enbies well.

and as i said before i cannot imagine how any trans women feel reading any reader-inserts that basically forgets their entire existence on this planet with "afab" essentially meaning "thats a woman" to these writers and there basically being no "amab" reader-inserts ever (which writers would eventually see as "thats a man" after a short while anyway)

im just so tempted to make my own stupid reader-insert headcanons/imagines blog for queer people and only queer people and everyone else would just have to suck it up and be mad about it. but also i don't want dumbass fandom members to be clowns on it either.

#first world problem??? sure #does it still matter to me??? yes #reader inserts #fake inclusivity #if u clown on this post u know what im gonna do to that neck #snap #original post #fav #imagines #headcanons #ash's personal tag

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