#i say happily but thats a lie. i sometimes walked into the building on the verge of tears. but like i still did it so idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keerishima · 3 years

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hi hi!! i loved what i saw so far on your blog 😎 it’s so cuteee waahh

for requests could you do something likeee um um soft things they do? SORRY IF THATS TOO BROAD- LMAKFKAKDK

oh oh or for bakugo could you do a small thing about trying to hold his hand for the first time? idk idk you don’t have to do any of these but just know your writing is amazing !!

hi there! this is actually so cute omg of course im going to do these! i hope they were okay, i sort of did it in a way where it would work with and without an s/o but some leaned more to either side,, if that makes sense

also thank you so much, i’m so glad you like my blog so far!! i hope i can continue this level of work for the future <3

Kirishima sometimes sneezes so hard his whole body hardens by accident- like he’ll just poof up like a pufferfish. Sometimes he doesn’t even realise he’s hardened 💀 it’s adorable to watch the both of you jump confusion when he tries to lie back down but he ends up poking you

todoroki juggles with the ice he can make. There’ll be days where he is watching or listening to something and suddenly his right hand turns blue and there’s three small ice balls between tossed between his hands. someone started a competition to guess how long he could do it for and so far, Shoji is in the lead

iida has a habit of shushing you in his sleep. like maybe you’d wake up before him and be on your phone, he’d roll over all bleary-eyed and you’d know he was basically still asleep because his normal I’ve-just-woken-up-and-you’re-the-first-thing-I-saw smile isn’t there. he’d brush his fingers against your mouth all ‘mmfhm shhh don’t worryyy don’t worry i'll t-ake..care’ because even in his sleep he wants to make sure you’re okay at all times. his role as class rep really is perfect for him 😩

denki is so energetic. and so clingy. sometimes a bit too much but just tell him and he’ll bound off and give you your space. anyway because of his energy, he sometimes struggles to sleep and rest. before he could never find peace with it and sleep, so he started to ask you to take a long walk with him before bed. you’d go around the area around the dorms and the woods area and talk about literally anything and everything. sometimes you’d walk past houses and try to guess the names of the house owners.

‘Someone called Sakura definitely lives there’

‘Why because there’s sakura trees?’

‘...yes’

shoji always wanted to help you. ALWAYS. if you were doing something that needed a bunch of tools like your makeup, or cooking, or building something like a new dresser after you told aizawa your old one broke, shoji would come RUNNING. ‘hey y/n can I help you?’ and the way he helps is he holds everything you need for you, and hands it over as soon as you need it.

‘okay mascara time shoji can y-‘ *shoji is already shoving the mascara into your face*

‘oh gosh I need a wrench-‘ *shoji’s wrenching it for you*

basically he just wants to help you 25/8

sero absolutely loves using his tape to drag you to him. if you’re across the room from him he’ll loosely wrap it around your waist, and then pull you in towards his body with a smirk on his face. his favourite time to do this is when he’s in his hammock and you’re standing across his room, he’ll just pull you along no matter what you were doing or holding so he could hold you. another thing he’d do is pull you in for a hug and then suddenly tightly wrapping his tape around the both of you like a snake, only smiling cheekily when you give him a questioning look.

‘sero?’ ‘I’m not letting you go’

bakugo stares at your hands. bakugo REALLY likes staring at your hands, I feel like bakugo has an obsession with your hands...because his are rough from his quirk but yours are soft and comforting :( and man does he want to hold them. but he refuses. holding hands is for extras. and also he doesn’t want to hurt you by accidentally setting off his quirk, but also because holding hands is for extras >:(. hon you’re going to have to take the initiative and one day randomly grab his hands, when you’re out don’t give him time to really comprehend that you’ve just grabbed his hand, because he really really likes it but his pride won’t let him enjoy it. if you grab it randomly he’ll probably short-circuit and walked with you dazed and again, just stare at your joint hands. his thoughts are running wild ‘fuck hands so soft fuck we’re holding hands oh god don’t let go bakugo or else I’ll smack you don’t sweat don’t sweat don’t sweat’. meanwhile you’re just smiling happily because he hasn’t let go! in fact he’s just tightened his hold around your fingers, grumbling under his breath

midoriya is so cute oh my lord. he's absolutely adorable. we all know he loves his note-taking and if you don't know, he also takes invisible notes when he doesn't have his books. once he got close to you, you became his new notebook. kind of. if you're dating midoriya you need to be able to handle his chattering. he'd do the boy thing and lean into your face so his breath is brushing your cheeks and not realise that he's making you flustered. 'hey y/n did you see the way mount lady did that? she runs and makes sure she has space to not step on anyway y/n what if she ever stepped on anyone what would the hero handbook say can you imagine??'

tokoyami would fluff his feathers omg i'm just imagining it and its the cutest thing ever holy shit. and he normally only does it when he lays down in your lap. he'd fall asleep resting on your thighs and then get up, just to stretch out his legs and back, change positions, oh and shake his head to fluff out his feathers. the first time you saw him doing that you literally stopped breathing in surprise, it was so cute. nobody else knew he did that until denki walked in on tokoyami curled in on your lap and your boyfriend chose that exact time to do his little birdy wiggle. best believe denki ran out gleaming to share the new information

shinsou takes you on a walk, to one place specifically. and this one place is a little secluded area in the park literally filled with cats of all sizes and shapes. according to shinsou all of these cats have names and favourite foods and favourite ways to be petted and their favourite person is shinsou himself! okay that changes a bit when you get involved too, but shinsou isn’t a jealous person especially when it comes to cats obviously. these are your favourite moments with him because as i’ve said before, shinsou values privacy so this is where he lets himself relax in public. when he’s comfortable he pulls you onto his lap or tucks you onto his side or lays his head on you. he’ll litter kisses on your neck whilst you stroke the kittens as per his instructions of what they like. he even picks up each kitten and says hi, pecking them on the nose when you two arrive, god my heart that’s so cute. when you leave the kittens would all meow briefly before teetering away, as you make shinsou promise to bring you back

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evan-buckley-diaz · 4 years

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Under Pressure: The Sequel - Chapter 1 - Eddie/Buck

Things in their relationship is moving forward and Buck is happy. He is also scared. Could it be too good to be true? And it seems the universe still has a few things to throw at him and Eddie, complicating things further.

words: 3136 warnings: sexual content, swearing, Dom!Eddie, sub!Buck

Buck stared at Eddie as he walked across the room and headed to were they kept their toys and equipment. ”Sir?” Buck asked quietly. ”I won’t do it again, please I don’t want a paddle” Buck whined as Eddie looked for something. ”Oh don’t worry, you’re not getting a paddle” Eddie said as he grabbed what he was looking for. It was a little black bag. Spotting it Buck whined and shook his head, whilst Eddie sat down on he bed and beckoned Buck over. ”Sir please” He begged as he walked over and dropped down on his knees so Eddie couldn’t put it on. ”I don’t want to wear it” He said as Eddie got it out of the bag, dismantled it and put all the pieces on the bed. Eddie put his hand out. ”Buck, get up” he said sternly and reached for Buck’s hand to get him to stand up.

”Noo” Buck whined and looked up at Eddie. ”I don’t like it” he said and pushed Eddie’s hand away. ”Buck, you’re not supposed to like it. It’s a punishment. Now stand up” Eddie commanded. Buck shook his head and put his head against Eddie’s knee. ”Want a spanking in stead” he whined. ”You don’t get to decide your punishment, that’s not how this work. Right now you only need to wear it for 24 hours, if you continue to not obey you’ll have to wear it longer and we’ll add on punishments to this. Now be a good boy for me and stand up” Buck let out a little cry and pouted as he looked up at Eddie. He did nothing but raise an eyebrow at Buck.

”Please, Sir, I don’t need to wear it, I won’t do it again” Buck whined as he slowly stood up and put his hands in front of his crotch. ”Buck, put your hands behind your back” Eddie ordered. Buck stomped his foot and whined loudly as he put his hands away. As Eddie started undoing his pants, Buck squirmed and sniffled. ”Sir, please don’t put it on” he whimpered and took an awkward step back seeing as his pants and briefs were around his ankles. ”Buck” Eddie warned him. ”You will now wear it for two days, would you like to add another day?” he asked.

Buck shook his head as he whimpered and cried. ”I don’t want to wear it at all!” he sniffled. He shuffled his legs and stepped out of his pants. He bit his lip as he watched Eddie. ”Buck. Come here” Eddie ordered. ”No! I don’t want to wear it so I’m not going to!” Buck snapped at him and gave him a quick glare. He breathed quickly as he watched Eddie stand up, he shuffled back until he hit the wall and he whimpered as Eddie stood right in front of him.

Eddie grabbed the back on Buck’s neck and held him firmly. ”Excuse me? Can you repeat that please?” Eddie asked in a low tone. Buck shook his head quickly. ”No? Do you remember talking about how this relationship is going to work?” Eddie asked seriously. Buck nodded, still keeping his gaze down. ”Then you should also remember how we talked about listening, being respectful and following the rules, no?” Buck whimpered and squirmed under Eddie’s grip and hard stare. ”I just didn’t want to wear it” Buck managed to say in a quiet whisper. ”This isn’t always about what you want but what you need. Now you’ve earned yourself a second punishment tonight” Eddie told him and Buck let out a sob.

”Theres your original punishment for touching yourself that was being locked up in the chastity cage for one day, that you increased to three days with your protesting. And there’s your added punishment for being a disrespectful brat that will include 15 minutes in the corner, a spanking and you’ll write a letter apologizing to me and yourself for your behavior. Understand?” Buck sobbed as he nodded. ”Are you going to act like a brat or be good boy?” Eddie asked and tilted Buck’s head up so he would have to look him in the eye. ”A good boy!” Buck cried as he rubbed his eye and sniffled. Eddie nodded. ”Okay, undress and go find your spot in the corner” Eddie let go off Buck’s neck and took a small step back, just enough so Buck had place to take his t-shirt off.

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and watched closely as Buck walked over to his corner and leaned against it. Now that Buck couldn’t see him Eddie couldn’t help a little smile on his lips as he picked up Buck’s clothes and put them over a chair. Buck was a cute brat and he was glad that he trusted him enough to show him that side of himself.

”Alright, times up, come lie down” Eddie said as Buck’s fifteen minutes in the corner was up. Buck wasn’t really crying anymore, just sniffling and breathing a bit shakily. Buck wasted no time in obeying this time though and walked straight over and lied down over Eddie’s lap. ”Why are you being punished?” Eddie asked as he stroked Buck’s bum gently. ”For being a brat and disobeying” Buck sniffled. ”Thats right” Eddie replied before quickly starting the spanking.

”Ow, ow, ow!” Buck sobbed as his ass was growing more warm and painful by each smack. ”Sir, I’m sorry! I’ll be good!” he cried as he kicked his feet slightly and reached back with his hand to try and rub his bum and maybe stop a few smacks from landing on his sore skin. ”Hold on, a few more” Eddie said, grasping Buck’s hand and keeping it still against his back whilst continuing the the spanking.

Tears were running down his cheeks as Eddie helped him sit up. Throwing his hands around Eddie, Buck sobbed as he continued to apologize. ”I’m sorry I was a brat, Sir, I won’t do it again” he cried. ”Oh baby, you totally are going to be a brat again” Eddie said softly and tried to not laugh as Buck pulled back offended. ”No, I won’t!” He whined. ”Baby, it’s okay, it’s natural and I’ve been waiting for it to happen a while. Some sub boys are that way. I was expecting this” Eddie explained and stroked Buck’s cheek. Buck looks down sad. ”You knew I’d be a bad boy?” he asked quietly and bit his lip to stop himself from crying.

”Buck, you are not a bad boy. That’s not what a brat is. You are a good boy, such a good boy for me and I’m so lucky to have you. A brat is a good boy who tests the limits now and again, to feel safe and reassured by them being enforced. Sometimes you’ll be able to stop yourself when you feel the need to be a brat but if you can’t, I will be there to handle you” Buck looked skeptical but did a little nod.

Eddie gave him a smile. ”You are a good boy, Buck” he reassured him and gave him a kiss. ”Can you stand up please, it’s time to put the cock cage on” he said and gave Buck’s hip a little squeeze. Sucking his lip in and bitting down on it, Buck sniffled as he stood up slowly. He watched as Eddie grabbed everything he needed. ”Okay, I’m going to start now, let me know if your skin gets pinched” Eddie said as he grabbed the base ring and pulled Buck a bit closer.

By the time Eddie was finished putting it on, Buck had tears running down his cheeks again. ”How long do I have to wear it, Sir? I can’t remember” He asked tearfully as Eddie inspected his handy work. ”Three days. Let’s say 6.30pm. Hopefully we won’t be on call but if we are we’ll take care of it when we get back to the station and everything has calmed down”

Whimpering, Buck brought his hands up to his face and pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes. Eddie shuffled up on the bed, took his t-shirt off and patted the bed. ”Come lie down baby” he said and held out his hand for Buck. ”Good boy” he said softly as Buck took his hand and crawled up on the bed and lied down with his head on Eddie’s arm. Shuffling around a bit, Eddie had about half his body on top of Buck, his foot between Buck’s and his face close to Buck’s.

”Shhh, you’re okay, I’ve got you” Eddie whispered calmly as Buck whimpered and squirmed. ”Calm down, baby” he whispered and reached up to grip the back of Buck’s neck. He gave it a squeeze before just holding it in a slight grip. Not too hard but not too soft. ”Close your eyes, focus on your breathing, the touch of my hand and the weight of my body on yours” Eddie whispered as he looked at Buck.

Eddie watched as Buck took a shaky breath and blink a few times before he let his eyes stay closed. ”Good boy, that’s it, just relax” Eddie said as he tightened his hold on Buck and pressed a kiss to Buck’s lips. As he continued to whisper his praise for Buck, Buck finally relaxed and slowly his breath evened out as he fell asleep. Getting comfortable, Eddie closed his eyes to try and get some sleep too.

—

Looking up as the bell rung, Buck quickly shoved the last piece of brownie into his mouth and put the glass of milk down on the table before following Chimney, Hen, Eddie and the rest of the crew down the stairs and into the firetruck. Getting into the seat next to Eddie he put his headset on and smiled. As they started driving, Buck stared outside.

Sniffling, he reached up and wiped his nose before looking at his hands confused. ”Wow, guys, I think my allergies are blowing up. Maybe they’re advancing” he mused and turned to look at Eddie. ”Did you look at the pollen prediction today? When I checked it said there wasn’t a lot of pollen but I feel like there’s a lot of pollen” Buck said and rubbed his eyes before squinting. ”Are you guys not feeling this? I can like see the pollen!” Buck said amazed as he looked outside.

Chim and Eddie looked at each other confused. ”You okay?” Eddie as he looked at him. Buck nodded and smiled widely.

Jumping down from the steps on the truck, Buck chuckled as he thought of how nice it felt to be sitting next to Eddie. Eddie was wonderful. And so handsome. Smiling as he grabbed the bag of equipment, he hummed happily as he pulled out a pair of gloves and rolled them on as he followed the others into the building.

Spotting Athena arresting a woman, Buck looked around frowning. There was so much colour and so much noise. He took a quick step so he was closer to Eddie. His frown deepened as the crew stopped and he looked down. ”Uh oh” he whispered and raised his hands to his chest. His eyes widened as he saw Chim and Eddie walk away, he was all alone and in danger now. Gulping, Buck looked at the colors in front of him and tried to analyze it all. Gasping, he stood up straight and grasped his bag as he leaned back a bit to try and protect himself.

”Did these beauty queens shrink or are we suddenly giants?” He asked confused and turned to look at Hen that was supposed to be beside him. Stumbling around in a circle as Hen was gone, Buck turned his terrified gaze back to the little humans.

”I think he means you guys!” Athena said appearing out of no where again, the woman she’d been arresting was gone. Buck looked at her wide eyed. ”Hi Athena! These are the tiniest little ladies I’ve ever seen. Teeny tiny!” He said and held up his fingers to show her how small they were. ”Excuse me?” Athena asked. ”So tiny” he whispered and looked down at them again.

”Henrietta!” Athena shouted making Buck jump slightly. ”Thena!” Hen shouted happily and stepped over. She gasped. ”Oh you smell like love” She said softly and closed her eyes as she sniffed the air. Buck wrinkled his nose, he couldn’t smell anything. Was his nose broken? ”Chimney! Eddie! I need you guys over here!” Athena shouted as she looked back at them.

Turning around, Buck grabbed the balloon and gave it a sniff. No, his nose wasn’t broken, he could smell the balloon just fine. Obviously it was Hen’s nose that was broken. Giggling as he punched the balloon and watched it bounce into the other balloon his mouth opened and stared at it fixated. They were so pretty.

”Guys, look at me! You know where you are?” Chimney asked sharply causing Buck to turn around quickly, tangling himself up in the balloons. ”Im stuck” he pouted and tried to break free from the balloons. ”Help!” He shouted as he headed a balloon and it came right back and attacked him. He could hear Hen crying and he would help but he was busy fighting his own war.

”Hey, hey, hey” Buck looked up and stopped punching balloons as he heard Eddie speak. ”M stuck” Buck whined and looked at Eddie sadly. ”I’m going to get you out okay? How are you feeling?” Eddie asked as he started to untangle Buck from the string of balloons. ”I feel stuck! Thats what I feel!” Buck snapped and grunted as he punched one of the ballots hard.

”Enough! Stop moving and calm down” Eddie said firmly. Buck immediately stopped moving and looked at Eddie wide eyed. Getting Buck free, he led him over to the entrance and away from the public next to where Hen, Chimney and Athena were. ”Guys, we have to put these on you okay? Its for yours and everyone else protection” Athena said as she reached for her handcuffs.

”I don’t want to go to jail, I haven’t done anything” Buck sniffled as Athena brought his hands behind his back and cuffed him. ”Please, I don’t want to go” He cried and hung his head sadly. ”You’re not going to jail, Buckaroo. We just need to take you to the hospital to get you checked out and find out what you guys have been dosed with” Athena said as she borrowed the handcuffs of another officer and cuffed Hen as well.

As Athena grabbed his arm, Buck whimpered. ”No, no, no, Eddie please, don’t let her take me, please!” Buck cried and tugged himself free from Athena’s grip and leaned against Eddie. Eddie took a deep breath and sighed at the confused looks his coworkers, minus Hen, was sending him. ”Can’t we drive them? We’ve been taken offline anyway” Eddie suggested as he patted Buck on the shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Athena looked at Chimney who shrugged. ”I mean he’s right” he said. ”Sure. Go on, drive them to the hospital, I’ll radio it in” Athena said and handed Chimney the keys for the handcuffs.

Getting Hen secured at the head of the ambulance, Eddie put Buck next to him before giving Chim the ready to go signal. ”You guys feeling okay still?” Eddie asked as he glanced at the two. Hen gave him a happy grin and a nod. ”So good” she replied. ”I want you to hold me” Buck mumbled and pouted as he pressed as close he could to Eddie. Hen chuckled as Eddie brought his hand around Buck’s shoulder. ”How long?” She asked as Buck closed his eyes and leaned into Eddie’s hold. ”How long what?” Eddie asked and looked at her. ”How long have you been dating?” She clarified with a smug happy grin. Eddie chuckled and looked down at Buck. He was silent for a moment. ”Five months” he replied and looked up at Hen who gasped. ”Chimney! They’ve been dating for five months!” She shouted excited. ”Wait, wait, wait, what?” Chimney shouted back. ”I think you’re math sucks, you’ve only been on the job for four months” Chim replied and glanced in the rear view mirror.

Eddie chuckled and shrugged. ”Your math is correct but so is mine” He said. ”I have so many questions right now!” Chimney said as he pulled up to the hospital. Eddie laughed some more. Hen was just sitting there blinking. ”We’re here” Chim said as he turned off the engine and got out of the car.

An hour and a half later Hen had been picked up by Karen, Chim had driven back to the station with the ambulance and Eddie was riding in a taxi with Buck. The man was more awake now. ”Is Christopher home?” Buck asked as he rubbed his wrists where the cuffs had been. ”No, he’s with Shannon remember” Eddie said as he looked at Buck. ”Awwww, but I want to see him” Buck whined and pouted. Eddie chuckled. ”He’s coming over on Friday and he’ll be over for two weeks then, you can see him then” Buck still pouted but it was a tiny bit smaller.

”Do you think there’s someone at the station who doesn’t know we’re dating by now?” Buck mused as he grabbed Eddie’s hand and stroked it. Eddie chuckled at Buck’s actions before shaking his head. ”No I’m sure Hen and Chim have been able to tell or text everyone by now. You okay with that?” Eddie asked. Buck grinned as he nodded. ”Mhmm cause I love you and now they know it. And they found out by you taking care of me so that’s the best way cause you’re always taking care of me and making sure I’m good” Buck rambled. Eddie was about to respond when Buck suddenly gasped and sat up.

”We have ice cream sandwiches in the freezer! Can I have one?! Please!! Pretty please!” Buck begged as he looked at Eddie wide eyed and pleading. Eddie groaned silently before nodding. ”Yeah, you can have one” He replied and shook his head. The munchies was kicking in then. He glanced at his watch. Only 2-3 hours before the worst of it should be over. Looking over at Buck who was doing a happy dance singing about ice cream sandwiches, he hoped the hours would go by quickly.

”Oh and Sir! Its passed 6.30pm” Buck grinned and patted his crotch. ”I can be free” he shouted, switching his song from ice cream to cock cages. ”Oh god” Eddie groaned. He made sure to tip the taxi driver well before ushering Buck inside.

#Buddie #Eddie Diaz #evan buckley #buck x eddie #911 on fox #masterlist #Under Pressure The Sequel

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narendur · 4 years

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Sometimes I wish my dreams were less intense

I had this long-ass dream last night (below cut. Contains dystopia, zombies, action stuff, AI, a throuple, and a happy ending).

A dude guy is dissatisfied and spends a lot of time chatting with his house manager AI. One day a lady smashes thru his dining room window. She collapses with relief at escaping the copbots and they end up chatting, she politely asks to use the shower quick.

He wrestles with calling the cops on her and heavily talks to HM about it; decides not to just as she comes out of bathroom - she overhears and is snarky but grateful. HM clarifies that he is only partly connected to uplink, has made things private to protect dude guy’s conversations, as HM is doing more than he should by program. Lady is safe. She is v grateful about that.

They continue to hang out sometimes (particularly after missions lol) and have like, tea and stuff. She is really cagey about where she works. Reveals last name (‘work and lineage’ name) and he is baffled - she explains it’s just a cultural thing. He asks which one he should call her and she laughs.

One day she’s got a weird look in her eyes and asks if he’d like to meet her boss. He says yes, and they make arrangements for the boss to come over. Boss (Madame(?)) comes over, they make tea. Dude guy tries to cook for the first time, makes plain lentils (which he dislikes) and soggy pasta. Just as ladies are about to show him how to make better food, HM alerts them the police are closing in.

They leave real quick, thru the living room window. Dude guy grabs his target practice bb gun. They’re on a skyscraper - use the plastic window curtain to stretch down to the road. At this point 2 drones come around side of room and they start running. Lady and HM are giving dude guy pointers on how to dodge shadow to shadow, but he’s kind of just running flatfooted down the middle of the street.

When they run into a zombie, lady says, “they can be useful diversions, but if they get close to you just kill 'em.” Then she stabs the crap out of its head with a dagger. Dude guy is upset about this because, “there are zombies!?!?!?!” She kinda ignores him and continues to run, as they’re still pursued by 2 drones.

HM talks to dude guy in his head, negotiate control of gun arm. Grabs gun aims back and shoots the small, pellet bullet - one of the drones goes down. He shoots the other down as more zombies appear and Lady angles towards the fire escape stairs of a building (shorter in this area). HM holsters gun and they run up the stairs to the roof.

Here Lady explains that the zombies are the result of a major factory accident nearly a century ago - legend says there are still people working there, but the sprawling, smoking machine doesn’t seem to do much but pollute now. Dude asks why he’s never seen or heard of this before; she explains that all windows in the inner city district are designed to show a pleasant glamour when aimed that way, and if he never really left the system available to him it’s not surprising he never saw it. He’s a bit cowed.

She then produces two grappling guns and asks if he knows how to use them - he says no. HM tells him that he knows how to use them, and that the drones will be sweeping out from their last known location, not far back. HM asks for full control of the body for the duration of the chase. Panicky, dude guy assents, starting to explain to Lady when HM takes over. HM quickly explains he factory reset the apartment when they left and jumped to dude guy’s tracking implant, disarming the tracker. Lady sighs with relief and hands over a grappling gun.

They fly rooftop to rooftop to nearly the edge of the city. Behind them, the drone sweepers fully lose their trail, just sweeping in slowly larger and larger circles. HM nods to Lady and steps back from body control. Dude guy is surprised by the electric-y shield wall they are facing, and looking back sees it is a massive dome, enclosing the inner city, outer city, and factory. “Has this always been here? What’s it keeping out?” Lady shakes head and produces a small device (studfinder shaped?), and says, “not out, in.” Then holds device up toward wall and 'scifi noise’ wall opens a hole in it.

“This will alert the system, we need to get through now. Come on!” She shoots grappling hook through hole and grabs him, saying, “hold on!!!” He clings to her waist.

They sail thru and the breach closes behind them. We are met with a significantly greener city - still apartment buildings and streets, but mostly smaller, and no where near as gritty as the city inside the dome. One large skyscraper rises above the others - the lady points it out; “Thats my work. We should head there. They’ll be able to help get you dechipped and set up with somewhere to stay and stuff. Also then we can finish tea with the Madame.”

They drop down to the street, (“Aren’t there zombies here???” “No silly, that’s what the wall is for.”) and walk through a neighborhood to the skyscraper.

Arrive at skyscraper, lady takes him to receptionist and helps him fill out the forms; name, age, etc. They also explain to the attendant that there is an AI identity on his microchip right now and that if possible they’d like to provide a stable body for HM. Attendant says she’ll see what she can do. Lady says she needs to go get out of her work stuff and cleaned up and she’ll be back.

Dude is nervous in waiting room - HM soothes him. They go in for surgery before the lady arrives - he gets a quick check up and put into the healthcare system, and then it’s a very simple quick procedure, with only a local analgesic and some tweezers under the skin on the back of his neck. They wipe the chip down and wrap it up, telling him to take good care of it.

Lady is waiting outside, says that the attendant came by while he was in surgery and left a note saying where to take the chip, and also a packet with info about food and housing. She says she scheduled tea with the madame in a few weeks, and they have a place ready for him if he wants a basic income apartment, or he can browse work options if he wants. He says he’s a bit overwhelmed, and that he just wants to lie down and get his buddy out of the microchip pls and thanks. Ok she says.

They head out into the afternoon daylight, and walk down the street to a tinkerer’s shop, where she pays some money and they offer over the chip - the gal says she’s been working on a body for HM all morning and that she thinks she should be done by evening, especially with what the company is paying haha. Dude guy is protective and anxious about his buddy and kind of wants to stay, but Gal says she can send HM over to his new apartment and Lady points out that they’ll just be anxiously sitting around, and reassures that Gal will be careful. Lady and Dude leave while Gal croons motheringly over the chip.

Lady and dude go for dinner and chat, enjoying the atmosphere of a small, family owned restaurant. He tries some new food and really enjoys it, asks politely for recipe. Gets it ^_^ romantic overtones.

They head to his new apartment on foot, she hands over his key and stuff and they find it’s a similar layout as his old one, but there’ a window in the kitchen where the door was and the door is now in the living room. A noise sounds from the dining room; lady sits down while dude goes to investigate; HM is there! With a body! Reading a brochure. Sitting on the floor cuz there’s no furniture. Dude and HM embrace, and they montage outfit the house together. Romantic overtones. HM helps dude cook recipe from restaurant (food and furniture delivered). Lady swings by to help sometimes. Montage ends with the three of them seated, eating meal dude cooked. He looks happier.

They chat - it’s been a couple weeks, she’s been on jobs and such lately and v busy. Mentions they’ve got tea plans tomorrow, asks if they’re cool if she crashes on their couch for old time’s sake. Dude jokes that if she stays over any more often she’ll just be living there lol. She wiggles her eyebrows with a mouthful of food but convo moves on.

They go for tea after brekkie. They talk about art and hobbies and stuff, then the madame mentions that she could probably help him look for a job if he wants to make a bit more spending money than min. income allows; would allow purchase of different house, etc. Dude says he’ll think about it; takes some pamphlets and stuff on how to job search.

Lady, dude and HM go back to dude’s apartment, walking romantically three abreast through the nearby park. They stop at a food truck for dinner, and eat on a nearby bench watching the ducks. They arrive home in the evening.

Lady goes to bed, we see HM and Dude stay up a bit at the computer, and see him apply for a job as a cook (wage is $12.50/h!) before bed.

When lady leaves for work the next morning, she kisses Dude. We pan back and see HM raise a hand to his lips in the hallway, hesitate, then head forward and gently rest his hand on dude’s waist. Dude happily leans into him.

Song with notable lyric “I was made for loving you” plays.

Fin.

#I had to type this shit up to go back to sleep #cinematic lucid dreaming #yes they are a poly throuple at the end #sometimes a family is a badass lady who kills chemical zombos for a living #an ex dude-bro who is discovering a love of cooking and sunlight #and an AI who is figuring out living and learning to play music #and eats his bf's cooking because it tastes good #dream #long post #lmao sorry y'all it's a long boi #Also thank fuck I figured out how to do a cut #fuck tumblr and the fact I don't get the text editor popup thingy #guh

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nes-writing-paradise · 5 years

Text

Yena and her Baby

A/N: GUYS! i passed all my classes and made it to the Dean’s List of my college! And now I have a month of break so more writing!! Yay!! Anyways! This one took a while because its very long but its also cute and soft! Also, now there’s only Felix and Jeongin’s chapters left, if I’m not wrong so those will be soon!

Plot: Yena and Jisung spend their free time together and cause a little chaos while they’re at it.

“NOONA?!” A voice boomed from somewhere throuh the halls of the building.

Yena jumps and turns around, startled by the scream. Looking across the hall, she spots Jisung running towards her, a big smile on her on his face. Her own lips turn up into a smile as well as she watched him drawing closer. When he had almost reached her, she outstretched her arms towards him, causing his smile to get even bigger. He lifted his own arms out as well and ran straight into Yena’s welcoming arms.

“Hi Jisungie!” Yena greeted, wrapping him in a tight hug. Jisung’s chin rested on her shoulder as he hugged her back. “What’s up?” She asks him as he pulls away slightly.

“Noona, I was talking to Chan hyung and he said that we have the rest of the day off.” Jisung says happily. “Do you wanna do something together?”

Yena smiles at him and nods, “Sure thing, Sungie!” She says, letting go of him. “Got anything in mind?”

Jisung hums in thought. “How about we go for coffee?” He suggests. “We can decide on what else to do after that.” He adds, causing Yena to chuckle fondly at him.

“Sounds good” she replies.

“Great! Let’s go!” Jisung says and grabs Yena’s hand. “Forward march!” He begins to pull her through the halls of the JYP building. Yena smiles and shakes her head fondly.

“You’ve got way to much energy already, Sungie. I don’t think you need any coffee.” She states, jokingly. He turns to her and pouts.

“But Noona! Coffee sounds so good right now.” Jisung replies, catching onto her joke. Both he and Yena start to laugh, walking hand in hand out of the building.

Yena shivers and rolls down the sleeves of her sweater as the cold breeze blew past them. The sleeves covered her hands entirely, turning them into sweater paws. Her combat boots drumming lightly against the pavement as they continued to walk down the street. They joke and laugh together as they marched on, Jisung now holding onto a sweater paw instead oh her actual hand.

“Whose sweater is this?” He asks her when he noticed how big the sweater actually is causing Yena to shrug in response.

“To be honest, I don’t know. I was lazy this morning and just grabbed the first sweater I found.” She said with a chuckle, causing Jisung to roll his eyes.

“We should just rename you the Sweater Thief.” He says. Yena nudges his side playfully.

“Shush you. It doesn’t happen that often.” She defends and Jisung chuckles.

“Noona, thats a lie and we both know it.” He says. “You do it so often that if one of us is missing a sweatshirt, the first thing we all do is ask you for it.” He says with a laugh when he sees Yena scrunch her nose at him.

“Maybe thats just because I know where everything is.” She retorts.

“Like your closet.” Jisung mumbles under his breath in response. Yena rolls her eyes, causing him to laugh as they come to a stop in front of a coffee shop.

The coffee shop was relatively empty when they entered so within a few minute the two of them had already ordered their drinks and moved to the side to wait for them. The two of them stood side by side close to the pick up counter as they wait, with Jisung cracking little joke to make Yena laugh.

Soon, their drinks were ready so they quickly picked them up and walked out of the small shop. Deciding to to take advantage of the pleastly chilly weather, they walk around, talking and drinking their coffee. They continue wandering around, slowly making their way back towards thei dorm.

Suddenly, Yena’s phone rings, causing Yena and Jisung to exchange a curious look before she answered the call. Jisung swung his and Yena’s joined hands back and forth as she talked on the phone. He stared up at the buildings while they strolled onwards. Minutes pass until Yena finally bids the other person a goodbye and hung up the call.

“Who was it Noona?” He asks when Yena puts her phone back in her bag. She looks up at him and smiles, picking up the pace.

“It was Woojin Oppa. He said that he and the others are all gonna be out for a while and they’ll bring food home later. So, we have the dorm all the ourselves.” She says. Jisung’s eyes light up.

“So we can do whatever we want with nobody complaining?” He says, causing Yena to nod. “Then what are we waiting for?” He tug Yena by the hand and starts running the last block to the dorm.

Yena laughs as they make it to their building. They make their way up to the dorm within a few minute ans find it completely empty. While Yena goes to her room to put away her things, Jisung goes to the living room to look at the videogames they have.

“Hm... hey Noona?” Jisung calls as Yena enters the room. He earns a hum in response. “We haven’t played this in a while.” He said, holding up a game for her to see, smirking. “How about it?”

Yena laughs, “Okay, but you’re taking the blame for all the noise complaints.” She says.

Jisung shrugs, “It’s worth it.” He says as he pops the the dance game into the game console.

The two grab the game controllers and step back from the TV. They look through the choices, picking the songs they want to play. This is a game both Yena and Jisung love to play together. Although, they never can play it much anymore, because they both get very loud and hyper. The others were getting tired of all noise complaints they got so they stopped playing as much as they want to.

“Loser has to buy the winner lunch for a week.” Jisung challenges, causing Yena to smirk.

“You’re on.” Yena says as she picks their first song.

The two immediately become serious as the song begins, both of them immersed in the game. They moved around, using the controllers to match the movements on the screen. They laughed loudly as the song continued, Yena ducking out of the way of Jisung’s flailing limbs. When the first song finally ended, Yena panted lightly and sat on the floor. Jisung was also breathing heavily as he stood beside Yena and looked through the song options.

“I’m surpised that neither of us are screaming yet.” Yena said, breaking the silence.

“I know! We’re usually getting complaints by now.” Jisung answered, still looking through the choices. A certain song caught his attention and he perked up. “Ooh! Lets do this one!” He said, pulling Yena to stand up as he clicked on the song. She laughed and agreed, holding her controller securely in her hand.

The first scream came halfway through their third song. Jisung misjudged the distance between him and Yena and nearly whacked Yena on the shoulder. Her scream, though, was soon followed by his own when Yena accudentally tripped Jisung when she moved. Everything went downhill from there.

The next several songs were played in a mess of screams, yells, flailing limbs, flying controllers and several close calls with the coffee table. Along with all of this chaos, there were also fits of laughter where they would both end up on the floor from laughing too much. The chaos went on and on as they swept through as many songs as possible. At one point, while dancing, the two bumped into each other, causing Yena to fall back into onto the couch and Jisung to almost crash into the coffee table. Jisung took the opportunity to hop on top of the table and continue to dance. His actions causing Yena to curl up in a fit of laughter, her controller falling to the floor with a thud.

“Ummm....” a voice come from behind them, making them both freeze and turn around.

Behind them stood the rest of the members. Their faces wearing expressions ranging from amused to unimpressed.

“Oh! Hey guys.” Yena says, trying to sound nonchalant. Jisung remained frozen to his spot on the table. “Welcome back.” She adds with a smile as she quickly reaches for the remote to turn the TV off.

Chan shakes his head and smile fondly at them. “I swear you two have way too much energy sometimes.” He says with a chuckle. “Jisungie, get off the table please.” He says, directing his attention towards the boy, who rubs the back of his neck and steps down. The rest of the members chuckled in amusement at him.

“Now that thats settled, we brought dinner. So everyone go get cleaned up while I set everything up.” Woojin states.

Everyone disperses immediately at the mention of food. Everyone else going to their own rooms to change and put their things away while Yena and Woojin head to the kitchen to get utensils and drinks for everyone.

Hours late, everyone had eaten their fill of dinner and everything had been cleaned up. The members were scattered all around the dorm, some were in their bedrooms while others were in the kitchen or the living room. Jisung and Yena sat on the floor in the living room, talking and joking around together. The two of them happily chatted as they sat next to each other, smiling.

When Jisung smiled, his cheeks became even more puffy. Seeing this, Yena giggles and reaches up to squish his cheeks with her palms. She smiles fondly at Jisung, who stares back at her with wide, questioning eyes.

“My adorable baby.” She says fondly. Jisung lets out a small giggle and leans away from Yena’s hands.

“My amazing noona.” He says back, resting his head against Yena’s shoulder.

Alright that’s it! I hope you liked it! Its like almost 5 am over here so time for me to go to bed now. Anyways, hope you enjoyed, I don’t know whether I’m going to write Felix or Jeongin next so... yeah, lets see what happens!

Masterlist

#10th member of stray kids #stray kids 10th member #stray kids au #stray kids imagines #female addition #bang chan imagines #hyunjin imagines #han jisung imagines #seungmin imagines #jeongin imagines #woojin imagines #female kpop additions #kpop au #female oc

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fearofaherobrine · 6 years

Text

Roleplay Server Log #341

“Offender Arrives, The Wicker Man, TLOT's Memories”

-Ringleader has joined the server-

-SexualOffenderman has joined the server-

-Splenderman has joined the server-

[Doc] Frantically throwing on clothes-

[TLOT] Is loafing next to the water on the beach below the castle garden and sits up abruptly-

[Steve] Pops up out of the shallows

[Yaunfen] Sniffing the air while Waffles gives a warning growl-

[Splender] Has entered the server near the castle and waves at those he can see- Hello everybody!

[Yaunfen] perks up with whiskers twitching- Hi Splender!

[TLOT] Waves back as well and Steve is climbing uncertainly up onto the shore- you brought us a guest?

[Splender] - Weeeell

[Offender] Yawns- Due to certain circumstances, brother wants to make sure at least one of us is with Splender

[TLOT] Are you I'll? Or in some supernatural danger?

[Offender] - I suppose you could say that

[Steve] Who would want to hurt Splender? He's one of the nicest people I know

[Ringleader] - Splendy why don't we go find Pinwheel?

[Splender] - Okay!

[Offender] Waits until the other two are out of hearing distance- Our father...

[Yaunfen] Flicking their tail- someone else with a mean dad? Thats not okay.

[Waffles] Sniffs Offender and gives a tiny kitty style sneeze.

[Offender] - Yeah, it wasn't a problem until they managed to fix the portal between our dimensions

[TLOT] Well he's got a decent place to hide at least.

[Steve] dawning realization- You're Offenderman, right?

[Offender] Grins- Yes

[Yaunfen] I know an offensive word! Fuck!

[TLOT] ho boy

[Offender] Laughs- Good one kid!

[Doc] Comes racing up fixing their coat hurriedly- is there an emergency?!? What's going on?!

[Offender] - Not much, just making sure the baby bro stays safe

[TLOT] His father...

[Doc] Pales - Zalgo?

[Offender] Laughs- Oh fuck no! That douche is not our father!

[Doc] I thought he was king of demons or something?

[Yaunfen] What's a douche?

[Offender] - He's basically a very old minor god in terms of power, but he's probably only barely stronger than our father, the Wicker Man

[Doc] Wicker? Doesnt that have something to do with furniture? [Steve] Watches two touchies that have crawled out of his skull helm fly lazily around him- a furniture man doesn't sound too scary. [TLOT] and Yaunfen, douches are for cleaning girl parts. [Yaunfen] Oh yeah! Like mom has. - nod nod-

[Offender] - Think more the shape, the tangle of branches deep in a forest that you can barely see through. He's so old his tendrils can resemble the deepest and deadliest parts of a forest

[Doc] So a mess.

[Offender] - And deceptive

[TLOT] Somehow I think any untidy branches are going to stick out here. -gestures at the trees nearby- even jungle trees are rather chunky and uniform.

[Offender] - Good point, but his goal wouldn't be to hide here, but to get my brothers and I back home and destroy Splendy

[TLOT] You're all in danger of being kidnapped?

[Offender] - In a sense? In our world you obey whoever is strongest... Which is one reason why it was odd for brother to not accept Zalgo's offer for us to live under him...

[TLOT] We prefer a more... democratic approach.

[Doc] Sort of. I mean, I get final say because I pay the bills, but certain people have their own areas or expertise and subjects to rule.

[Yaunfen] Mada is head admin!

[Offender] - Don't know what that means but good for you! I'm gonna go help Splendy find his little biting fluffball

[Doc] Well before you go... I don't mean to be rude but... did you... feed before you came in? We're used to accomdating Splender. And Trender and Solace would be equally easy... I'm just concerend. We have a lot of children here and plenty of inhabitants who already have trauma they're trying to work through...

[Offender] - Yeah, I got plenty of fuel last night

[Yaunfen] You eat coal like Crim?

[Doc] Uncomfortable- no... - Hir words have a certain emphasis- Offender, this is my child Yaunfen.

[Offender] - So one of the many Splendy already berated me for on being off limits, gotcha

[Doc] That would be appreciated-

[TLOT] Mentally to Offender - They're young, and as far as we can tell, completely non-binary with no organs of either type.

[Offender] Responds mentally in kind- Hasn't stopped me before, but I'll leave them be since I don't think any of us want a raging Splendy on our hands

[TLOT] Mentally- Or me. I've made a few bad mistakes of my own in the past, and now consent is very important to me.

[Offender] - Welp, I'll be off then!

[Doc] Wait! One more thing. - Xe clicks near him and brings up the display- You're a guest player for now. Just type my name in the chat like this- does some finger motions like on a keyboard- if you need anything or have any questions.

[Offender] - Noted, oh and we brought Ringleader to help keep SPlendy's mind off of what's going on

[Doc] Oh! I'll have to drop by. We had a nice little adventure last time. It'll be good to see her again.

[Offender] - Yup, well, you'll probably find her and my brother around the kids quite a bit

[TLOT] That's normal. The kids really enjoy his company. My Testificates are used to seeing him around the village.

[Offender] Starts walking off- Yeah well I'll probably be stuck baby sitting the biter

[Doc] She's a bit more advanced then you remember. Be nice to her. She's basically Sally's age now and about her level too.

[Offender] - Oh joy

[Yaunfen] Should I find Big Fire mada?

[Doc] Go ahead, I need to check in with your mom. Everything looks like it's holding steady, but I want to add a few things just in case.

[Yaunfen] I'm on it! - Goes trotting off with waffles following at a loping pace.

[Doc] Turns to TLOT- ...

[TLOT] You don't have to ask, I'll keep an eye on him.

[Yaunfen] Runs down the spawn road sniffing around for Cp's brimstone smell-

[Lie] Is walking towards Doc's place with CP following her. He's still in cat form-

[Yaunfen] Leaps over her in an effortless bunch and bound- HI LIE!

[Waffles] Saunters up more leisurely - mrrrr

[Lie] - Hello Yaunfen, is your Mada home? I'm trying to find somebody

[Yaunfen] Yep! They're at Castle Thunder! Talking to mom.

[Waffles] Sniffs at Cp-

[CP] Hisses at Waffles-

[Waffles] Show of teeth and pokes Cp with one toe of one huge paw-

[CP] Fury swats-

[Lie] - CP!

[Waffles] Thumps a paw down flat on Cp's head to knock him down-

[Yaunfen] Is circling several blocks away- Lie? Where's Big Fire?

[Lie] - Hm? Oh, well he's catified and being a bit squished by your cat by the looks of it

[Waflles] Is roughly patting Cp with a playful expression-

[Yaunfen] Waffles!

[CP] Manages to escape and runs over to Lie, doing a butt wiggle to jump up on her shoulder-

[Lie] - Don't you dare

[Yaunfen] Leans down and tangles Cp up in hir whiskers- Hey Big Fire!

[CP] - Growls-

[Yaunfen] Mada said to tell you Offenderperson is here!

[CP] Freezes as does Lie-

[Lie] - I'm sorry Yaunfen... Could you repeat that?

[Yaunfen] Offender is here? Splender came back too, with someone called Ringleader.

[Lie] - Okay then... I'm going to go barricade myself in my room for the time being then

[Yaunfen] Be safe Lie! - Looks at Cp who's still slightly tangled-

[CP] Wants to follow Lie and pulls a little-

[Yaunfen] Lie? Does Big Fire need to go with you?

[Lie] - Yes!

[Yaunfen] Puts the cat down-

[CP] Darts off to follow Lie, a fire charge already building in his mouth just in case-

[Pinwheel] Is rather happily laying in a patch of sun in the workroom-

[Karla] Is tinkering curiously with the workroom crafting table.

[Pinwheel] Rolls onto her back with a bit of lip smacking, her tail swishing a little-

[Karla] Glances over with a small smile. - Deadly little dreamer...

[Splender] Teleports into the room, having heard from Alexsezia that Pinwheel was there- PINWHEEL!- He quickly scoops her up and is hugging her

[Pinwheel] Is very much awake now- Splendy no! No! No! No!- Each no is punctuated with a bite

[Karla] Is understandably startled- You probably should not- Oh GODS!

[Splender] Just happily snuggles Pinwheel as she hisses-

[Ringleader] Runs in- Splendy not so fast!

[Karla] Do you need medical attention?! You should put her down!

[Splendy] - Hm? Oh! Hello!

[Karla] Composes herself - She's a rather sensitive creature, you shouldn't grab her like that.

[Splender] Laughs a little- Oh don't worry, I do this all the time!

[Pinwheel] - Splendy down!

[Splender] - Oh alright... What happened to your scales?

[Karla] The little one ran away and got caught in the rain...

[Splender] - Oh Pinwheel... Why didn't you go home?

[Pinwheel] Huffs-

[Karla] She had a disagreement with her friend Crim. Children get overwhelmed sometimes. It's hard being young.

[Splender] - Yes, I was there when it started, I unfortunately got called away for some business, but I trust she and Crim have made up and that's good

[Ringleader] - Awwww, she's gotten so much bigger the last time I saw you

[Karla] Yes, well enough. I don't believe we've met? I'm Dr. Karla Emmerich. Currently Lie's houseguest.

[Splender] - I'm Splenderman! And this is my proxie Ringleader! And this- He turns towards empty space and freezes

[Ringleader] - Yeah this is why I was yelling at you not to go so fast, I have no idea where your brother is

[Karla] Nice to meet you both... Brother?

[Ringleader] - Sexualoffenderman... Should I go out and look for him sir?

[Splender] A bit ashamed- Yes please

[Karla] With a name like that he sounds like Hell on wheels.

[Ringleader] - Just don't take any roses and you'll be fine

[Karla] Laughs lightly - My playmate is more likely to come with a whip in his teeth and a pleading expression then flowers. Thank you for the warning though.

[Ringleader] Heads out to find Offender-

[Splender] Turns towards Pinwheel- Have you been a good girl while I've been gone?

[Pinwheel] - Don't care

[Karla] She's been calm and happy for the few hours we've spent together.

[Splender] - Wonderful! Little biting?

[Karla] Just once, but I'm over it.

[Splender] - Oh dear, you didn't hit respawn did you?

[Karla] No, she'd spent her venom on the mobs. It's fine.

[Splender] - Oh dear, still, I'm sorry...

[Offender] Teleports in behind Splendy- There you are, ah, and the biting fuzzball

[Karla] Is this the aformentioned brother? I can see the resemblance in height.

[Splender] - Ah! Yes! Offender, this is Karla! This is my brother Offender!

[Offender] - You can just call me Smexy

[Karla] Chuckles lightly- I like it! And the flasher coat. - She crosses one leg over the other, the light catching the shiny black leather on her feet and hands.

[Offender] His trademark grin spreads across his face- Oh I like her

[Karla] Most men do. Unless they fancy being able to tame me. - She lifts her chin to see him better and her massive chest scar and cleavage are easily visible from above.

[Pinwheel] - Hungry!

[Karla] Endrea left you some bottles. Give me a moment. - She gets up and brushes past Offender to open a trunk and retrieve the bottle of void energy-

[Offender] Lets a couple of his tendrils curl out only to have Pinwheel bite them- Ow! Stop that fang face!

[Karla] How interesting... - She brings Pinwheel the bottle and tips it so she can drink from it.

[Pinwheel] Lets go of Offender to eat-

[Offender] - Yeah, slender beings like my little bro here and I all have tendrils

[Karla] I believe I've met your... oldest brother? Cp and I had a bit of fun, and he was kind enough to clean up after our mayhem. - across the room the Wunderwaffe seems to wake up and makes a few small happy electrical noises from the bed it's resting on.

[Offender] Chuckles again- Oh yah, that. He griped a little bit, but that was more for show than anything else, he was almost playful when he got back

[Karla] That's an amusing thought in and of itself... - she tips the bottle a bit more, it's nearly empty. -Good Pinwheel. Get big and strong.

[Splender] - Doc said I could possibly ride her when she's full grown!

[Pinwheel] - No

[Karla] Diplomatically- I think that will take a lot more good parenting and patience. A young lady of such caliber doesn't let just... anyone ride her.

-Up in the main room the doors can be heard opening and closing-

[Lie] - Anyone home?

[Karla] Lie! You have company.

[Lie] Comes down into the workroom with CP following- Splender! Glad to see you again!- She then notices Offender and stiffens

[CP] Begins growling at Offender-

[Karla] Now then Cp, we were just having a nice chat. Why so angry?

[Splender] - CP, you know Offender won't touch you or your mate, he knows how strong that bond is

[Offender] - Besides, your ass is too tiny right now to do anything too

[Karla] Off-handedly- Such things are easily adjusted, but it's innapropriate either way.

[Offender] - Oh I can adjust to fit just about anything, however...- He sniffs the air and turns towards Lie- Oh that smells delicious... You're pregnant little lady...

[Karla] Indeed. She's the talk of the village. As far as we know, two Herobrines having a child is unprecidented.

[Lie] Is bright red-

[CP] Knowing Offender can hear him- Fuck off!

[Pinwheel] Finishes eating and licks her lips- I go find Cri now

[Karla] Are you sure Pinwheel? I could just try calling over the... chat? And see if anyone has seen him.

[Pinwheel] - Mmmmmmmm

[Karla] I think that might almost be a yes- She types a little and then waits for the words to come back-

[Buff] Over chat- I saw him out in the desert by the shrine miss. Only a little while ago.

[Karla] See? That was easy enough.

[Pinwheel] Takes off running-

[Splender] - Ah! Pinwheel that was rude!

[Karla] She's just eagar to play with her friend some more. Her first friend. I wonder if I might be her second with time?

[Splender] Excitedly- Oh I hope so!

[Offender] - Calm down bro, your getting ahead of yourself again

[Lie] - I... I think I'm going to go start on dinner...

[CP] Concerned mew-

[Splender] - Oh! We should leave you to that then, don't want to be rude...

[Offender] - I like food

[Splender] - Come on, let's go brother, we'll get some food from Doc!- He starts pushing his brother out the door

[Karla] Watches them go with a little wave- Nice meeting you both.

[Lie] Lets out a very shaky breath and her body starts trembling a little-

[Karla] I take it 'smexy's' given name is not merely for show? You seem very upset Lie.

[Lie] - There... There's some history...- She turns and removes her collar, her now very naked husband pulling her in close and smoothing her hair

[CP] - Shhh, it's alright... I won't let him do anything

[Karla] Shamelessly takes a look at Cp's equiptment and makes the faintest snort before smiling.

[CP] Snarls at Karla a little-

[Lie] - I just... He was in our home

[Karla] No shame Cp, it's a generous peg for what I imagine is a small square hole that's usually happy to invite it in. And he seemed well-contained by his more amiable sibling.

[CP] - He's lazy, that's what, but he terrifies Lie, and for good reason...

[Karla] I'm guessing he prefers his sexual partners to be random and unwilling?

[CP] - He doesn't care what they are, willing or unwilling, old or young, human or not

[Karla] Hence the name. Anyone would have every right to be terrified.

[CP] Glances down at Lie, as if asking her permission and she nods a little- He never actually attacked her, but she witnessed him taking a victim, we think that may be what led Insanity to choosing her as a suitable mate...

[Karla] That explains a lot, you're decently well matched but it still seemed a random choice for something fated.

[CP] Shrugs a little as Lies shaking starts to die down- Either way, she's mine

[Karla] And you are her's. I think that's just as important. From everything I've heard she's been quite a good influence on you.

[CP] - Whatever, I need to get dressed, Lie, are you okay now?

[Lie] - Yeah, I should be fine now...

[CP] Nods and teleports to their room to get dressed-

[Steve] Is whistling cheerfully as he makes steaks in a furnace by the water-

[TLOT] Is making a fish stew on top of the same furnace - I could use maybe... Two more?

-There's a commotion in the water as the golden dragon breaches and goes chasing after a fish-

[Yaunfen] is doing a little dance for Deerheart. Xe has a sprig of smoke berries in one hand and is trailing the particle effects everywhere.

[Deer] Smiles happily and is encouraging Yaunfen-

[Splender] Is approaching with Offender and Ringleader-

[TLOT] Signals to Doc-

[Doc] Surfaces with a fish in hir mouth and makes for the shore with just the top of hir head and mane showing.

[Yaunfen] Does a couple of graceful leaps and then stumbles a bit, breaking a rough stone block to nothing with their feet- whoops!

[Splender] - Are you okay Yaunfen?

[Deer] Goes to help Yaunfen up

[Yaunfen] Yeah- the smoke berries fell on the ground and some of them squished, making a bit of ground fog- two feet are just harder then four. Pfft!

[Splender] Laughs- This is true!

[Doc] Rises up like a sea monster from the water and tosses TLOT the fish- did you find Pinwheel?

[Splender] - Oh yes! She was at Lies place!

[Ringleader] Looking at Yaunfen- Awww, you've grown so much too!

[Yaunfen] Blinks at her for a moment- I know you... I think? - tiny tail swish-

[Doc] You were pretty little when you met her. This is Ringleader, Splender's proxy.

[Ringleader] - You had just learned how to say Mada when I last saw you

[Yaunfen] Really?

[Doc] Leans down and gives them a little bump with hir snoot- You were super cute then and you still are.

[Yaunfen] Yee! Mada. - smiles-

[Steve] Foods done. Anybody hungry?

[Offender] - Oh hell yes!

[Steve] Looks slightly unnerved by Offender but gamely starts passing out steak and warm bread and bowls of fish chowder.

[Doc] Shifts down to join them. It's a lovely day and a few touchies are buzzing lazily in the garden.

[Offender] Takes the food offered and swallows it in one go-

[Splender] - Of thank you Steve

[Yaunfen] Pulls out a full block of end sponge cake and starts nomming happily-

[Steve] shaky- There's more....

[TLOT] Passes a roast chicken and a baked potato from his inventory to Offender. His expression changes slightly as he brushes the Slenders hand-

[Offender] - Cool

[Splender] - Brother, don't eat all of their food!

[Doc] It's okay Splender, I can access creative easily. So we've always got plenty of basic meat and vegetable stuff.

[TLOT] Tilts his head slightly before addressing Offender- Your mind is quiet.

[Splender] - Yes, but you've seen my innards, his are the same

[Offender] - My mind is what?

[TLOT] It's quiet, clear almost. When Cp punched Lj and he retreated into his box, who found it?

[Doc] Is listening intently because of TLOT's tone-

[Offender] - I did, why?

[TLOT] You touched it, didn't you?

[Steve] You mean he's...?

[Offender] - Well yeah, how else was I supposed to get his box home

[Ringleader] - I'm confused...

[TLOT] Yes. He's clean.

[Doc] Okay, I feel about 1000% better hearing that.

[Yaunfen] You don't have the crazy lady!

[Steve] Wow!

[TLOT] Your Insanity was purged the moment you touched it. I understand that Slender beings aren't as controlled by her as normal creepypastas, but it still makes a difference.

[Offender] - Eh, never heard from her much anyways

[Doc] Well if someone has godlike powers it's always good to know they won't suddenly go bananas because someone looked at them funny. I adopted a dragon form partly because I wanted one and partly because I needed to be big in order to subdue Cp whenever he got out of hand. I spent a lot of time with him actively on fire in my coils while I tried to talk him down.

[Offender] Laughs at the mental image-

[Doc] Had to sit on him a few times too. And thankfully TLOT can use his powers to pin people in place.

[Offender] - Eh, everyone has their tricks

[Steve] Glances at his feet and smiles very slightly-

[Yaunfen] I can be heavy! Mama and I have been practicing. - so proud-

[Doc] Heavy?

[Deer] Sputters- Yaunfen! That was going to be a surprise!

[Yaunfen] But I can kinda do it! ... Sorry mama.

[Doc] What's this all about?

[Deer] Sighs- We've been practicing Yaunfen's powers on the candy seed and were going to surprise you with them once they got good

[Yaunfen] I can be stubborn as fuck! Just like Big Fire!

[Doc] Why does that worry me?

[Splender] - Yaunfen, that's not a nice word

[Doc] But it was one of the first they learned. So it's okay.

[Splender] - If you say so...

[Yaunfen] Moves a little bit away and shapeshifts back to a dragon. They're decently large and pad over to Splender- Try and move me! I'm like bedrock!

[Splender] - Okay!- He stands and proceeds to try and lift Yaunfen

[Yaunfen] Streches a little in the middle like a sleepy cat but the feet stay firmly on the ground. - That tickles!

[Offender] Grins a little, a tendril slinking along the ground-

[Splender] Keeps trying-

[Yaunfen] Is being shoved around a little but not moved. The dirt under them is looking a bit crumbly. - hehehe!

[Offender] Suddenly tickled both Yaunfen and Splender-

[Splender] Shrieks in laughter and let's go of Yaunfen- Brother!

[Yaunfen] Goes suddenly down so they're standing with one foot each in a one block hole- whoops! That's cheating! HEHEHHEHE!

[Offender] - Nah, it's called having fun kid

[Yaunfen] Uses their tail tip to tickle Offenders ribs- Sneaky!

[Offender] Retaliated with more tendrils-

[Yaunfen] Rolls over laughing-

[TLOT] Well at least they're playing nice.

[Ringleader] - Yeah, all of them get subdued around Splender

[Steve] He is a really nice guy.

[TLOT] Good neighbor too. - glances in the direction of Mb's house.

[Ringleader] - Is everything alright?

[TLOT] Eh, just a brine with an attitude. He was given to us to save him from being deleted. MasterHerobrine. He's been quieter since we gave him a dragon to raise but he still likes to fight. Reminds me of Cp now and again.

[Ringleader] - I see...

[Splender] Finally gets enough tendrils out to tickle Offender back-

[Yaunfen] Is pouncing and playing and acidently drops a tablet from their inventory.

[Ringleader] - Hm? What's this?- She picks up the tablet

[Doc] Is too fixated on Yaunfen playing to notice.

[TLOT] Looks at her- that? It looks like a painting maybe? Try putting it on a flat surface.

[Ringleader] Looks around before approaching the wall of the castle and pressing the tablet there-

-The image springs up. It's a healed zombie pig woman. She's lovely and dressed like a tribal princess. Behind her are images of dinosaurs. She seems to be almost pleading, reaching out with one hand from the picture. -

[TLOT] Goes absolutely white and still - I... remember... Zaya... oh gods...

[Steve] Runs to him- what is it???

[Yaunfen] Stops playing - oh no! TLOT?

[Doc] Comes to look as well- What's wrong???

[TLOT] Starts to cry and wipes his tears on his cloak edge-

[Steve] I don't understand.. OH GODS. - He's seeing the memory in TLOT's mind-

[TLOT] How could I forget...?

[Splender] He and Offender stop playing- No, don't cry, sadness doesn't taste good...

[Yaunfen] Don't cry TLOT.

[Doc] What happened? Who is she?

[TLOT] I... need to sit down... - He takes a few steps away and flops on a stair block, shaking his head-

[Steve] Is still reeling-

[Doc] Dammit, of all the times not to have some of Lie's flowers.

[Splender] - I could go get some

[Yaunfen] Scrabbles at the picture, taking it down and putting it away. -I'm sorry!

[Doc] If you want, it might help-

[Splender] Teleports away-

[Ringleader] - No, I'm sorry, I put it up...

[Deer] - TLOT, what's wrong?

[TLOT] It's so vivid... At least parts of it. She was.. someone important? My NOTCH... Revenge, he destroyed her in front of me...

[Steve] Yaunfen! Where did you get that?

[Yaunfen] I found it! I sifted it out of gravel! And fixed it with the anal-lyser.

[Doc] Where did the gravel come from?

[Yaunfen] Notch gave it to me.

[Doc] You mean Markus, right?

[Yaunfen] Uh-huh!

[Doc] How in the world...?

[Deer] - The leak... The mods from TLOT's seed are leaking into the others...

[Doc] So... we have artifacts now?

[Deer] - Maybe?

[TLOT] Mutters- There was a man there too... with a face like a.. wolf?

[CP] Teleports in with Lie-

[Lie] - TLOT?

[Yaunfen] I've found all kinds of stuff....

[TLOT] Is still shaken and teary-

[Steve] He suddenly remembered part of something terrible our NOTCH did....

[Lie] Nods in understanding before spawning calming blossoms-

[TLOT] Makes eye contact with Cp, and in that moment he also sees the memory. The woman standing firm and defiant despite being weaponless and being suddenly cut down by the misty form of TLOT's NOTCH. Her screams are terrible and his overwhelming fear and anger in that moment is sour and consuming.

[CP] Growls, the memory reminding him off what happened to his mobs-

[TLOT] Swallows hard. Reaching down to tangle his fingers in Lie's calming flowers-

[Steve] Wraps his arms around his husband as if to protect him-

[Doc] His NOTCH has such a long shadow... even dead...

[Lie] - Then we simply need to be brighter

[Doc] Adds hir arms to the hug- It's okay... it's over.

[TLOT] I need to know. Somehow... what happened... This hole in my mind is maddening sometimes.

[Yaunfen] Slinks over, laying their snout against his shoe-

[Splender] Teleported back and gives a burst of happy energy-

[TLOT] Lets it roll over him like cool water, and sighs, calming down.

[TLOT] Thank you... Sorry to bring everyone down. And Yaunfen, I'm not mad, but you need to let me know if you find anything else.

[Doc] Burst of guilt and a guarded expression-

[Lie] - It's okay, that's what we're here for- She's a bit nervous being so close to Offender

[Doc] Moves back a little-

[Deer] - Doc?

[Doc] Yes?

[Yaunfen] Also looks guilty

[CP] - The fuck is wrong with you?

[TLOT] Looks at them as well with narrowed eyes- What do you have?

[Doc] It's nothing!

[CP] - Doc you are surrounded by psychics

[Doc] quiet- fuck...

[Yaunfen] Mada cussed.

[CP] - Is there something you want to share?

[Doc] Not really?

[CP] Teleports behind Doc and grabs them- What is it?

[Lie] - CP...

[Doc] YIKES! Not so hard!

[TLOT] Doc what. do. you. have?

[Doc] Eh... I kinda.. found a tablet too....

[CP] - Show us

[TLOT] resigned- Let me see it.

[Doc] Fine... you won't like it though. - Xe pulls out the tablet and holds it out as much as xe can for TLOT to take.

[TLOT] He puts it against the castle wall and gasps-

-The painting is much bigger and shows a silhouette with glowing eyes and the shape of his own helm standing small at the apex of a giant pile of human bones and corpses. Behind him is the shadowy form of his NOTCH looming menacingly with his titanic head in the clouds. -

[CP] - Shit...

[TLOT] I....

[Doc] I hid it because I didn't want you to be upset...

[Steve] All my brothers...

[Lie] - Oh TLOT...

[TLOT] So quietly- I just.. didn't want to be alone...

[Yaunfen] But you didn't hurt them! It's not your fault!

[Doc] We understand TLOT... Loneliness can drive one mad... Mine almost killed me.

[CP] - We've all been there

[TLOT] Its the not knowing that makes it even worse...

[Lie] - But at least you can remember. It may take time, but I'm certain you will

[Doc] if the evidence exists maybe we should be looking for it? Cp... Where is all the dirt you removed to make the cage? If it's boxed it would likely have been sitting at ground zero of the leak for quite some time.

[CP] - I don't remember

[Lie] - Wouldn't the block under the seed be ground zero? It's been in direct contact with the seed for a longer amount of time

[Doc] Yes... But sifting destroys the blocks. I was trying not to use anything that would be missed. I didn't want to tear up the floor in Cps build either. And speaking of Cp, can you put me down please?

[CP] Drops Doc- I can look for the blocks...

[Lie] - But I may have used them to fill in places...

[Doc] ow... That would be helpful. I Don't want to make a giant hole someplace taking too many blocks away.

[Lie] - If there are still any they would be in my store room

[Yaunfen] We're gonna sift stuff? That's a good way to find treasures!

[Lie] - We could head over now?

[Doc] TLOT? Are you going to be okay?

[TLOT] I'll live. I'm going to stay here though.

[Steve] Me too.

[CP] Goes to pick Lie up again-

[Doc] Deerheart my love? It looks like we're going to go play in the dirt for a bit. Wish us luck.

[Deer] - Good luck

[Doc] checks on Offender and Ringleader and Splender- Splender? Are you okay? Maybe show Offender around the seed a bit?

[Splender] - Sure!

[Doc] Take him to the library for sure. I think he'd get a kick out of the second floor in particular...

[Splender] - Second floor?

[Ringleader] - Come on Splendy, let's go

[Yaunfen] That's where all the books for tall people are!

[Steve] They mean adults...

[Yaunfen] That's what I said! Tall people. And Splender is a super adult because he's so tall.

[Splender] - Awwww, You are so adorable Yaunfen

[Doc] What about Gk? Hes old but short.

[Yaunfen] grimaces-I've seen him eat a booger. He's not an adult.

[Offender] - What about me? I'm shorter then Splendy

[Yaunfen] Gives him a calculating look- mmmm tall enough.

[Splender] Laughs-

[CP] Just starts walking off with Lie-

10 notes · View notes

badhebie · 3 years

Text

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

[03-07-2021] Return to the city, which I have left for several years. Bandung. A town I love, which never fails to impress me. The city always has something new around every corner.

Made an appointment to Meet an 'old friend' that I never seen or talking for many years. After talking with shitty and unnecessary chitchat then we moved to an old Kopitiam around Sudirman Street that still amazed me until now.

After many years passed, this old Kopitiam still impress me. The building, the wall arts, the decorations, the ambience, the lighting, even the people coming here still same as in the past. Many old guys and old ladies coming here only for playing capsa, chess or mahjong showdown while enjoying some Coffee or Tea with some Dimsum. They just playing happily with each other. They seems dont care that now already quite late at night. What a moments.. Reminiscing!

After feeling mesmerized, we order some of their Signature Coffee and some Dumplings. I'm shocked to know that their tastes of Coffee is consistency and never change! That's cool!

Because of nowadays I'm enjoying writting about anything, then I tell my friend that I will record all of our chitchat and conversation into an mp3 recording file. So I could make the convo's transcript to fill in into my blog :))

t r a n s c r i p t :

Me : This Kopitiam kinda reminds me about the old times that we always coming here for almost every week with our friends..

P : Ya Ya Ya.. indeed! It is not every week! But twice a week, hahaha..

It's been long story we talking about anything until I tell her about my problems.. she looks kinda shock hearing it all and seems not believe for what happening to me right now.

Yes I told her about my family's matters..

P : Oh.. ( I can see her eyes pouring some tears )

I cannot believe why you have to be an asshole by cheating to your wife? Do you know that what you have done is so heartless and hurts your wife so much? Oh ibie!! I really cannot believe what you have done!! really.. fucking asshole! (I can see some rage on her eyes!)

Me : Well, things happens! My life is fucked. And I really fully regrets! I dont know how to fix this.. Yes I know I have done something terrible.. But at that time, I feels like i lost controls to myself and everything. And at that time I feels like I dont understand myself too..

P : You dont need to make excuse for youself! Wrong is wrong.. You have no reasons to do all this fucking things!

Me : Yes I know.. and I admit that I was an asshole for doing this.. and now i really regretfully for what happened to my family..

at that time, I feels like sometimes my wife didnt love me and sometimes I feels like she never respect me.. I dont know this is only my feeling or my reasons, but yes sometimes i feels like that..

Maybe because Im an overthinker person, thats why that time I lost control to myself and doing all this bad things. But after that i feel regret.. really sad and sorry..

P : Whatever your reasons, bie! What you've done is unacceptable.. Oh I really speechless to you! fuck!

Then, have you apologize to your wife and ask for forgiveness from her? Have you explain everything to her? Are you really feel sorry now?

Me : Yes I do! As a man, I do apologize and ask for forgiveness from her. I even kneel to her to forgive me and give me chance. I dont know how to fix this.. I dont know how to make her forgive me and give me last chance and trust me again that I will never ever doing very bad mistakes again and broke her trust again.

P : Then? Did she forgive you?

Me : No, She is not. She said she cannot give me chance for now and ask me to clear my self out of problems.. at first I was so excited that I thought she is willing to give me chance. I'm doing my best effort to fix everything, I do my best to bring back her trust on me. Until one day I realized that she's only play with my guilt and probably just want to revenge to me. After knowing that, I feels numb and thinking that all my efforts was nothing. What am I trying to fix was meaningless.. Then its time I have stopped all my efforts to fix everything and stop expecting. I feel bad.. really bad!

P : Huh? What do you mean? I dont get it. Why dont you continue to fix with her? Show your fully efforts to brings her back!! Its all your fault then you have to fix!

Me : Yes, at first I will show her my fully effort and Im willing to do anything to fix all of this. Then one day I realized that she was looking for another guys or maybe now she probably having a relationship with someone else already. That day I realized that all she said by saying will give me chance after I clear myself out was only a joke, its fake and just an empty hope!

Can you imagine, if she said will give me chance but in reality she was in relationship with another guy? Then I have to fix what? I have to keep fighting to fix everything when she has already have relationship with another guy? It's unacceptable for me! If she said she will give me chance, she have to wait and look at my progress, she have to let me work my best and wait me until I clear myself out, but what she did is having another relationship with someone else! Then what she said will giving me chance was a fake and its all lie! Am I right? Thats why I'm stopped all of this!

P : Huh? Wait.. wait! I miss something here. So, she said she will give you chance but you have to fix yourself first BUT in reality, she was having relationship with another guy already? So, what I got here is she probably waiting you for fixing yourself but while waiting she has another relationship with someone else? She is having relationship while waiting you?

Me : YES! Exactly! I'm not sure she's already in relationship or still looking for another guy.. but this is so heartless and unacceptable for me! Why dont she just said NO MORE CHANCE for me instead of saying will giving me chance but having another relationship with someone else or looking for someone else? Its does not make sense!

P : If this is the case, then yes.. actually what she have to do is just saying directly to you that NO CHANCES for you. I dont understand her as well.. why she said she will give you chance after you clear yourself out but she is having or looking relationship with someone else.. Haha im curious about it! Well, then its your rights to stop or to keep fighting for her! But I understand you, you will feel hurt when you keep fighting for her while she was having relationship with someone else. Well, my advice is just follow your heart! But if the case is like this, you better pull yourself out of this situation and keep walking.. At least you already did your job, feels regret, apologizing, ask for forgiveness and trying your best to fix everything, eventhough in the end it didn't go as you pleased, but at least you tried. You did a great job, bie!

Me : Yes! I take my punishment already by cannot see and touch my son. As a man, I admit my big mistakes to her already! I feels fully regret already. I ask for forgiveness already, I promise to her that I will never ever doing bad mistakes and broke her trust anymore, I doing everything already to regain her trust! But she wasting all my efforts! She is playing with my feeling by saying will give me chance after I cleared myself out! She gave me fake and empty hope. So i pull myself out and stopped! At least if someday Mica grown up, I can tell him what I did. I can tell Mica that his dad already trying to fix everything but his mom is wasting my efforts and playing with me. So im gonna give up..

*She looks confused, sad, and crying..*

P : Do you still love your wife after what you have done?

Me : Yes I do. I love her with all my heart.. It will and always! I've been fully regret with what I did to her. If I could turn back the time, even it cost my life, then I would.. GIving up didnt means I didnt love her, I just feel tired hurt myself as well.. and I feeling hurts when my efforts wasn't appreciated. Been there, done that! But I will always love her with all my heart and I keep saying sorry to her in my heart and my prays..

P : Im sure you were really miss Mica and your wife.. I can see from your eyes.. it looks empty! You miss them so bad.. (*she looks crying again)

Me : I miss my son for every second of my life.. I never felt this way, missing someone til my heart aches! It really hurt deep inside.. Almost every night Im crying missing my son. What I could do only looking at Mica's photos on my gallery.. No father in this world who is strong enough to bear the pain of missing his child. Its really unbearable for me..

P : Do you try to call Mica everyday? You can video call to him to heal your wound.. Or ask his mom to video call to you everyday if posisble. Or ask her to send Mica's picture for you at least once a day.. Im sure it will not bother her at all

Me : Yes, I do ask her already to send me Mica's picture as much as she can.. but you know what, Pao? I think she trying to separate me with Mica as well..

P : HAH ??!! What do you mean??

Me : Yes, you heard it right! I think she trying to separate me and Mica as well.. Do you know why? I ask her many times already to send Mica's pic as much as she can.. and she said YES, she will try to send Mica's pic as much as she can. But again, in reality she was fake again.. she only send like every 4 or 5 days or even 1 WEEK and only send 1 photos or videos. Do you think its called "AS MUCH AS SHE CAN" ? send pic every 4-5 days and only 1 ? After waiting for every 4-5 days I only got 1 pic or 1 short video.. She can HATE ME as much as she want but she have no rights to separate innocent child to his father, right??? Yes you are RIGHT! Even 1 photo per day it will not bother her at all.. But she just dont want! But she probably busy looking and impress some guys out there instead of sending me some of my Son's photos that I always wait like forever.. sending some pic's everyday not wasting even 1 minutes of her time. But this is about WANT or DONT WANT!

P : WHAATTTT?! REALLY?? Sorry bie.. but in my opinion, no matter how bad the father, every childs in this world is have FULLY RIGHTS to know his/her father! If she doing that, she is FORCEFULLY take Mica's RIGHTS to know you as his father.. she is doing a bad parenting system! How heartless she was.. She take Mica's rights as innocent child to know his father. Well, somehow I feel bad for you bie. You are right, She can hate you as much as she wanted to, but she have NO RIGHTS to force Mica to not to know his father.. Oh my God! Somehow, I got your point when before you said you have your own reason by doing some bad mistakes to her.. Well, I dont know but I got the point somehow! Its only you can feel it.. But it doesnt mean you were right! You are still WRONG by doing the FUCKING BAD THINGS! But I know at least you did a great job by fully regret it, apologizing, and trying to fix with her, even in the end she wasn't appreciate you, at least you try.. a gentleman's job! Standing ovation for you bie..!

P : . . . .

P : As a man and as a normal human being, its OK for you to make mistakes. Learn from it, take lessons from it, and promise for you life that you will never ever do it again. Even you ever failed as a man and as a husband to your loved ones, Im sure that you have fully regret now. But you never failed as a Daddy! Im sure you were being a Super Daddy for Mica! And Im sure, Mica is super love you and proud to you as his Father! You will be a good Dad for him, Im sure of that bie..!

Me : Bad Parenting Systems? Probably yes.. She is forcefully take Mica's right to know me as his father.. Well, if someday Mica grows up, I hope Mica didnt grown up with rage and questioning where is his Dad! Because He will understand when he grows up.. And someday I hope I could explain everything to him what was happened.. At least I have tried everything and its gonna be my reasons to Mica..

P : I feel sad for you bie.. Keep strong and be patients! God will never sleep.. If you feel fully regret and promise to never ever doing bad mistakes again for your life, im sure God will always listens to you and helps you.. keep believe it! Im Buddhist too like her.. so Im sure we belief about Karma. You get your bad Karma already by doing bad on the past. And if she is proven trying to separate Mica from his Daddy, Im sure too she will get Karma too for what she did.. For now you better stand up and keep walking for your life. And love yourself more than before.. Last time we met you look so fat than now.. Now you look losing weight! Remember you have to keep healthy.. Overthinking will make you sicks! Try to forgive yourself.. Try to accept yourself back.. Try to love yourself again.. What's DONE is DONE! you cannot turn back the time, but you can fix it and make it better.. But first forgive yourself and love yourself, so you can stand up and walking again.

Me : Yes I try to walks again.. and now I almost can running again hahaha! But the pain is still unbearable for me for missing my Son every second of my life.. it hurts so much for missing him!

If you were her, would you like to give me second chance for me to fix it? I just want to know from other people's perspective..

P : HAH? If I were her? You mean if this bad things happens to me? Hmmm.. Well, If I was her and this is happened to me, for sure I will very angry, mad, and sad as much as she did, or maybe more than she did. But after that I will heal myself first and think clearly for what I should do. But in my opinion, every people DESERVE a second chance! Especially if we have childs already. For sure in the end I will give you a second chance and let you prove yourself that you will never ever doing bad things again and broke my trust. Because for me second chance is LAST CHANCE! So if this happened again, NO MORE CHANCES for you for your life! But yeahh.. for me every people deserve a second chance! Especially when I see you were really regrets and I can see your efforts to fix everything! Its for me.. But every people's have different minds, so my opinion cannot be used as a standard! But for sure If I were her and I already said I will give you chance, then I would really give you chance and see you progress first.. I will waiting how much you can show and prove yourself to fix and be a better person than before! But for sure I will not looking for other guys while waiting HAHAHAHA.. because I will be honest and pure from heart when I said i will giving you chance.. No FAKE FAKE woyyy! Hahaha..

Me : Here we comes the sarcastic moments, hahaha... But thank you for your perspectives! I hope she could do as you said,, but yeah every people is different!

P : Then dont be too worry bie.. I hope she could opened her heart soon and not thinking only about herself, but about Mica as well.. Mica is still really too little for this! He needs both his Mummy and Daddy on his side. Dont let innocent child be victims from the selfishness of their parents.

Me : Well, I dont know about that.. I feel too tired and almost fully giving up..

P : You can rest a while bie.. And I know for now you were busy and tired with your business hahaha.. congrats anyway! Dont give up bie! Move forward!! I will joins and helps your business.. your coffee bottle is super yummy and your cornflakes is good, especially the peppersalt one! I like it.. No one's here using cornflakes as snacks, thats why I think it looks promising business.. Just dont give up and keep walking! Thats my note! Dont feeling down when sometimes your business is going down.. You need to have a strong mentality build when you working on personal business. Up and down on personal business is normal..

Me : Hahaha thanks! Yes it starting to grows.. I will working hard for it! Woyyy of course its good, it has secret recipes from starbucks hahaha.. Yes yes you have to helps me extent and expand my selling hahaha.. just kidding, Pao! But thank you, you boosted up my mood haha..

P : YEEESSSSSS!!! hahaha sure I will helps you as much as I can, dont worry! haha.. And I will promote it anywhere haha.. soon you will need to open mini factory, hahaha Ameeenn!!!

And dont worry, when I said AS MUCH AS I CAN, I will do and act in real, not only words or FAKE!! hahahahahahaha..

*we both laugh hard on this*

Me : LOL hahaha.. Here we comes again for another sarcastic moments, Hahahah! But Ameeennnn!! Thanks, Pao! I feel lightly after I confess to you all my stories.. wish me better and better OK?

P : Sure!!! Im sure you can..!

The time has passed, It's been 02:50am already. Then I sent her home and I back home as well. Thanks for listening to my vent, Pao! What a day!! Ready to work again tomorrow ^_^

#Spotify

0 notes

calvinlepesh · 5 years

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Interpret how u please but know it saved my mind and soul.

SUMMARYWe have primitive speech in comparison to aliens/ superior being/s/ {Our God self]DONT FUCKING READ THIS IF U ARENT OPEN MINDED! DEADASS FUCKING SERIOUS UR GONNA MISS OUT.to become open minded you must have some form of empathy. Some form meaning you must have to have either the almost perfect understanding empathy based on your ability to place yourself in somebody elses position along with all of their past tramas, what they just fucking ate, basically whatever relevant to the situation apparent or not. I.E do I help this guy for gas hes asking the clerk hes begging he says hes got no money has to get home to his family. seems like a good dude. not making a fuss. being very nice about it. I paid for his fucking gas. Thats good energy right there. sent away and returned in ways that probably already occured but I don't reconize them as a direct result from helping. If you did what you thought was right or whatever you wanted to do actually. Which is what you're going to do anyways cause thats what you fucking decieded you wanted yourself to do. So if this doesn't hit you like it hits most people and myself included. Then just close the book and call me insane. If being insane is living content in my beliefs and my tommorow during the today but with passion for the future. then im fucking insane. Because thats what my program has done for me Truly search for good and if it isn't what you want to spend your time trying to help or doesnt concern you. You weren't meant to be concerened by it and thats okay because it will concern someone else at the right time. etc considered and making a choice based off of critical information secured from a display of empathy. If you cant show empathy practice please fucking practice before you continue reading. Actually idgaf you do you. Your life do what you desire.Speech is used to manifest things into reality of time. Typically faster if done consistently. Tested and proved. By many. My barber for example. little over 7 months ago living in a 1 bed room dumb girlfriend cat and hes cutting hair in his kitchen. The entire time throughout the year hes telling me about this house hes getting his own very first house brand fucking new completely taylored to him. He told me saying Lep yeah my mom is helping me buy a house and get my career moving finally. After long periods of being told to basically fuck off his mom basically has a change of heart randomly. Hes got a 3 bedroom house. A barber room with checkered floot. 3 tvs niceass fucking interior furniture hes painting the house and has done many renovations over the last few months of him having this house. Just returning there earlier tonight actually I had walked in and had to check if he changed the paint in his front room again! Truly He doesn't even realize it completely. Hes almost so dumb hes smart. in a sense that being happy is being smart. He isn't stupid tho. My barber is on some of the same shit I am. Some. thats a different story tho. The point is he talked to me everytime he cut my hair for 6 month. Not just me I know for certain. He would talk motherfuckers ears off im sure they hated it. Honestly I hadn't been enlightened at this point. I fucking hated it. OMg yeah we fucking get it bro u want checkered floors. So many motherfuckers are talking nowadays. But do they always talk the same shiteveryday? Ill say it again. Do you talk about the same thing everysingle day? Do you talk to someone every single day? I don' t even have to ask what or why you do it. You're doing it because you have the desire of the company of that person. or their opinion, Whatever they have of value or beneficially or mutually beneficially to you or both. My barber talked about all the cool shit he was gonna do with his house. Having a pit bike track in the back. making a fire bit. building a deck. Making a TV back drop out of stained wood stained nailed and cut by him and I. Painted the entire house. CHECKERED FLOORS MOTHERFUCKERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is MANIFEST IT IN YOUR LIFE. The sooner you start talking about and creating this lifestyle and figuring out how you're going to do it one day at a time. Talk to the person ur nervous to talk to. If they fall in love with you. THATS FUCKING KICKASS. if he thinks u dont belong in his universe right now understand thats a huge fucking positive in your life. Now you can live in this moment in time and know in this moment in time that it isn't happening because if it isn't meant to happen yet if at all. For all you know you could meet him in 5 years and get married have 3 kids live happily ever after. Straight the fuck up! Right now im consistently talking to a girl i had the hugest crush on but never did anything about it. WHY DIDN'T I DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. CAUSE HOW FUCKING AWKWARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN in minnesota when im visiiting and havent been home for christmas in 5 years that we just so happen to go get breakfest at a taveren like wtf? and its where she works serving. Top it off while we are walking in I see the sign of the place and reconize it from an instagram post that she posted and I had liked and inturn she liked my picture. whatever not important. all im trying to say is the future is 100% unpredictable in every sense. but at the same time it will be 100% guarenteed with my mindset program if applied properly. You never know tomorrow and that may scare you but what if you already had chosen what happens tomorrow long before anything existed? Do you trust your own judgement? The best part is you dont even have to trust your own judgement. YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT TO DO. But sometimes doing them is what you're meant to do typically for your benefit anyways, if not its a punishment, and if it isn't your benefit its somebody elses and they may or may not know that you're the direct cause. you may or may not know ever. But I believe that when we die we are enlightened and are shown the purpose to life. whether a test or a simulation. multiple tests inside one another or something uncomprehensible to myself or anyone. But thats different. What I do know is that a key to a good life Is a good mindset. Choose the mindset of I'm the shit. Cause I am, Cause I decieded I am, Im good fucking looking, People may call you a slut or whore but honestly it may be disgusting a little bit but they're probably jealous of all the hot people you've been with. Or even the fact ur getting laid. most single people hate on girls anyway. aint no boy in a nice healthy relationship talking shit on females and if he is he probably likes u and is trying to hide it. anyways besides the point. You need to develop something you say to yourself {I recommend} outloud {especially for getting started} whether written or set as an alarm for your phone ur background to your phone it could be a picture with a completely hidden message behind it. just associate something or have something that has things you know deep down in your soul you need to say to yourself. For example for me, Ive always been sensitive, still am a lot less than I was alot, But over time After being outcasted from my family at 15 being legally kiddnapped, and broken down on all aspects of self with many failed although maybe not completely failed attempts at bettering myself to the way that works for normies or the purposefully chosen people to be uneducated of the power of speech. They were esentially taking me in at 15 with a metaphorical emotionally broken leg. { ie i hate myself and im a bad person i dont give a fuck and i just want to die cause i dont understand the world} that was my attitude ie the broken metaphorical leg that I came into the school but for the sake of this metaphor this hospital with. However pretend in our metaphor the break in my leg is un noticeable. if ur slow as fuck just know the broken leg is a metaphor for my fucked up thinking. The hospitol or treatment center/school I was at cant fix my leg without me telling them my leg is broken. Now they knew something is wrong or else I wouldnt be there. Many claim at that hospital upon recent arrival that there's been a mistake and they don't need to be there. many times I laughed with everyone else at group along with the director Parker. Parker I believe knows alot about this but would never share with the group for possiblities of the kids claiming they're being brain washed or told to believe such things without an adult or atleast enlightened soul and mind these practices may sound slightly lucritive. Anyway back to the story. Metaphorically I tried many times to dodge and weave around questions asked in therapy sometimes even hamming it up to seem cool because of how insecure I was. trying to seek acceptance from my therapist lmfao very dark times. Which got darker with small light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the thing about parker he never took away full hope and if he did he had a good reason for doing so. I completely trust his judgement even to this day. Lying to ur therapist or even if they think you're lying to your therapist which usually they're right. The only reason they were ever wrong with me lying was because the decision was made based on previous situations of past lies. Lied before you'll lie again? possibly. Anyway, the darkness brought upon u metaphorically and almost not was the wall/work crew. ADAYONTHEWALL In a way this is tramatic but it almost shouldnt be. It was trautic because I put myself there many times. Purposefully yes in a sense but not the living sense. I wanted to be the perfect student at Liahona. Be the leader everyone looked up to. Be the family fucking leader. But I literally just was to immature and weak in all aspects. Too much so to do any of those things. Now that I think back the beauty of it Is I did eventually get all of those things. Because I manifested them. I desired both with my words and the vibes my words created in my body that the universe recieved. My body had translated what I wrote in my daily evals every night at Liahona. I attended Liahona for 711 days. 9 Days short from 2 years. The program is 9 months long. Back to the main subject. The wall. 6 am wake the fuck up. HEADCOUUUUUNT!!!. Big ass motherfucking dude named Quando shouts it at the top of his lungs. LMFAO pretty funny to think but this guy would scare the shit out of new kids in the mornings. shouting out of their beds. I definitely woke up thats for sure. The whole facility of 50-60 boys come out of there room pretty much as fast as possible although groggily everyone dressed in the same navy blue shorts and grey liahona t-shit tucked into our gym shorts with either white black or grey solid socks. No designs or wild shit. All the rules at Liahona were created over the years it had transitioned from an old house to the facility to the newer facility. Everything from tuck in ur chair at all times to. turn off the lights when you leave a room. Hundred of rules probably around over a thousand actually. I hated it off the bat but what was I gonna do? anyway. After everyone lines up in a U- formation with quando standing in the open portion of the U. He would say the same things every morning. Almost as if he was designed to say the same or relatively the same thing. One thing was for sure the message was clear every morning. Go back to your rooms Today is a new day its a beautiful day make your beds and start studying your quote or doing whatever you're aloud to do until you go for the morning run and breakfest. Now quado probably used a great deal more broken english being from the pacific islands one of em sorry dont actually know. anyways. we dismiss. or atleast. everybody else does. perusual here I am. I sit down in my LIFETIME costco chair sitting mere inches from the head of my twin mattress. I will now sit in this chair for the remainder of the day unless instructed or allowed otherwise. 6-7 morning shift arrives. Can't look away. I think to myself staring at the wall. The desire to look is bad but even the thought of having to write another 300 word essay although they've become easy now, pointless to get one for something so easily avoidable. putting my elbows on my knees I duck my head do as If to pretend im studying the quote (a passage of around 100 words- alot of fucking words that must be memorized in full word for word straight the fuck up and recited to either a very trusted upper level or staff member who will tell you when you mess up and must stop and either use one of 2 hints allowed by parker to figure out whatever word u forgot or fail and take a 300 word essay, However if the quote is failed to be passed off before friday then your points for that week will be cut into half basically prolonging your stay to an extent given points are used to determine not in full but definitely play a large part in even the opportunity of you being recommended to get your next level Ie the quote is very important, very difficult, and I fucking hated it so fucking much you have no idea, Fuck the fucking stupid fucking quote. Parker is smart for the fact that he knows theres got to be something that seems and may possibly be a punishment that is time consuming and benefits those who work harder and faster destroying room for socialism. Basically parker created the quote to see who the fuck is really trying and how hard. Based on when you pass off the quote, If you pass off the quote, and how long of the quote is and whats in the quote. Parker can determine your loyalty to the program and therefore your recovery) Sitting in my chair and ducking my head between my armpits I can finally look around in a small area on each side of my body without getting too ballsy. This is my entertainment for the remainder of the day. Besides playing with my hand/feet. Tapping my feet/hand. looking at the US map{ and sometimes if they put u on the other wall or farther down you got the south america map. To this day can name the south american countries for the most part in alphabetical order. Crazylol. I can do the states right now. anyways. } Eating Oats and water with 2 of the gnarliest fucking red delicious apples every fucking morning. YO WHERE DID U FIND THOSE FUCKING APPLES MARK AND WHOEVER THE FUCK SHOPPED? jesus christ. Still don't eat red delicious apples THERE NOT FUCKING delicious. liars anyway. Before that when morning shift arrives typically shortly after if not immediately after their arrival we do another headcount. Of course yelled much less.... whats the word.... manly lol. Derek had the lamest headcount call. His unenthusiastic Severous snape from harry potter like almost moan like noise. anyways fuck u derek. Derek would take us to get our shoes, at both the new and old facility there are shoe closets that contain every students single pair of running shoes. The new facility also has our never to be touched til we leave or go on a visit personal items. After getting our shoes on. We went outside. line up on the concrete basket ball court in 5 lines spanning accross the entire court each student assigned to a 'family' upon arrival in no paticular order I hope but idk. Usually it was the one with the lowest amount of students but some family leaders would try to boost by trying to speak with newer students asap and within the rules. Communication of any kind with any student not directly monitored without being directly told otherwise is strictly forbidden. No form of communication head bobs nods winks smiles smirks laughs even eye contact for long periods of time. Although of course these rules were broken many times over the course of my stay. I definitely stopped talking to kids. Literally it taught me and im kinda glad it did it taught me to not ask my peers but elder people with wisdom and knowledge for help. However in therapy groups they allow us to communicate freely with the presnence of the therapist who was 1 of two therapists. However he would quickly correct any advice given from a student to a student to not only teach us the correct way to solve whatever issue being discussed or shared. but almost in a way indirectly teaching you that experience and age are similar but not the same and to seek those that give the best advice and help the most which tend to be the people u want anyways. I did learn many many many many useful things that I still use today from Liahona. Because of going im now 1000x ahead of an average person my age. Given my experiences and newly found and enlightened self. Given to me when I was ready to give it to myself. When I learned I control this reality with how I feel. And I tend to feel how I talk. Because my talk conveys my emotion. Talk good feel good do good deserve good. Lined up on the basketball court right my bad Im side tracked for the millionth time. gimme a break lol anyways. We line up in 5 columns of anywhere from 10 to 13 students typically ten atleast. 50 jumping jacks Go!" 1..2..3..4..5..6..7- ......49..50. 50 laps chop it up. At 8 laps a mile 50 laps was common but not that common. For awhile it was daily. All of our days depended on how all of us acted as a whole. If one person tried to run and doesnt succeed obvisouly never have never will. Everybody goes on lock down. No talking no moving everybody sits in a circle. study a gigantic quote for that week cause homeboy tried running. or whatever the case is. Basically if you dont pull your weight somebody else has to and that weight is only their cause you are inturn now they hate u lol. Definitely was unlike for a vast majority by the vast majority however luckily in the end all works out as does all things in this universe in my world or currently my world.story sorry again 50 pushups now in unicen aswell 123-49-50 Then he tells us to go run and sometimes he'll tell u how many laps and sometimes hed tell u when you get to his standing spot at the finish line after your first lap. He does this to guage how and when certain students put in more effort. Shorter run? more harder runners? longer run? Whos putting in effort regardless of circumstance ie whats going on in ur life. Ie how many laps you got How are you moving before you know what your next move is. Are you jogging that first lap until derek tells you to save your breath cause you're banking on it being a longer run. Have you been running slow for 3 laps but the run was only 8 today so ur wasting ur time being lazy. Derek would see when you would run hard. who made u run harder cause u wanted to beat them. how many laps does it have to be minimum to run on the first lap. Whos running hard the first lap regardless of circumstance. They could tell who you were and what you could offer before you even knew anything about any of that. Because honestly you didnt give a fuck about trying before. atleast I didn't. I soon did. Over those 711 days I ran 95 percent of the week day mornings. was in niceass shape too for 17. weekends we got off thankf uckign god. After the blisters heal and you get calices on ur feet from running in the beginning being a new student it sucks alot don't get me wrong and it'll suck for awhile but you'll eventually learn to adapt and conquer by anymeans. I quit after 6 laps my first run. Not even a mile. sat down said I needed my inhaler. I didn't even have one.

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theheartbreeeze · 5 years

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THE BEAUTY IN LETTING GO

Waking up to the suns beautiful light cascading through your window, painting the walls with an orange, happy glow. Laying there, you let the morning sun rays wrap you up in the tendrils of warmth and comfort you were so desperately seeking, while lost in the abyss. You gratefully embrace the peace and the calm that the morning is offering you. Letting it lift you and fill you with the strength you thought you lost and the realization that you didnt. As you lay there, taking in a few easy and clear deep breaths. Cleansing yourself and enjoying the ability to finally breathe clearly without pain being a constant threat in suffocating you, you are able to see and accept what was always there.

You feel the relief flood through your body as youre finally able to understand that you did your best. You fought and tried as hard as you could have and that's all you could have done. Understand you cant save everyone and it's not your job to do so. It's not your responsibility to continue helping someone with no will to change or help themselves. Sometimes it's better to take a step back and away. Let them learn to swim or drown trying. In doing so, this dosen't make you a bad person or anything of the sort. You have an obligation and duty to yourself first. It's not a crime to love and safe yourself first.

Allowing yourself a few more minutes to lay there and feel nothing but the ever growing warmth from the tendrils of morning light growing stronger, slowly engulfing your room, showering you in the light and peace that you believed to have abandoned you long ago becoming something only to exist in fiction and movies forever remaining out of reach and unattainable. Lost to you forever. This forgiving, comforting, loving warmth is now surrounding you. Becoming stronger and brighter with every passing minute. Asking for nothing but to be let in to show you the beauty of this new day.

You start to feel the trail of tears wash down your face. Allowing yourself to mourn and weep, for the final and last time. Letting the pain and sadness and hurt wash over you one last time over everything you loved and lost and the hard and painful sacrifices that had to be made. Feeling the constant, continuous flow of all the tears whispering down your face like a brook. You know that they are representing all the things you will never get say. The lost feelings never to be shared, the thoughts never to be known. They are all the moments you've ever lost. The adventures and experiences you never got to share or feel. They are the pain for coming to the realization that you cant have what you want and acceptance of that fact, it was out of your control. Acceptance that you cant change the unchangeable, cant fix the irrepairable, and cant obtain the unattainable. The painful understanding that when something is lost it's better to let it stay lost and fade into the past. Knowing that to continue searching for it will bring nothing but pain.

As you let these feelings and new found acceptance run through you, you feel a type of warmth flow through your body. One you've only ever read about and dreamt about being able to find and feel. The feeling of truly forgiving yourself for all the pain and bad choices that you continuously kept repeating over and over ensnairing and trapping you and anyone close to you in a destructive loop. Regardless of what you always knew to be true and toxic. You continued to choose and leave yourself open and vulnerable to the captivating beautiful illusions and enticing persuasive promises given in the form of a innocent offering called hope only to keep discovering it was poisoned and fatal. The only promises being those of betrayal, lies, and misery. Again hurting yourself.

Leaving you to have to heal yourself from where you started, the beginning all over again. Always trying to forgive yourself for all the pain you caused and continuously seem to repeat on yourself.

Slowly, gently, and gradually you move forward. Closing the distance between you and your window. Opening your blinds, you set your room ablaze with the morning light. Flooding your senses with the light shining so brightly, so vibrantly thats now blinding you from the freshly uncovered window. You reach blindly forward with your tear stained face basking in the unadulterated beauty of the pure blazing light. Pushing your window open, you feel your skin suddenly heat with a more intense and stronger warmth than the one before. This new uninterrupted, unobstructed warmth causing the hair on your arms to raise and allowing a broken smile to break through your tears. Then the feel of a gentle breeze glides across your warm skin, cooling you. Reassuring you that things will be ok now. You lived and survived through something you never thought you'd get through. Learning a lesson youd only ever be able to understand and appreciate by going through and experiencing the trials, troubles and pains. You feel a laugh of relief and thankfulness bubble out of you escaping your throat. You think to yourself, "it's over now, I made it."

You watch a bird fly across the sky. Beautiful and free, a unchained vagabond in the sky. A peaceful smile spreading across your lips, lighting up your face, brightening and shining brilliantly, as if you somehow were able to capture that morning suns beautiful golden glowing rays into your soul enabling you to give off an illuminating, untaintable smile. Real.

The cool spring breeze, brings the smell of fresh new blooming flowers to your nose. New beginnings. Feeling the hope of a brighter, better and happier future come and wash over you, at last bringing this chapter to its end. Leaving everything painful and destructive sealed away inside.

Pushing yourself farther out your window you watch as some neighboring children run around carelessly, happily chasing a butterfly in their bubbling naivety. Listening to their pure happy filled squeals of delighted enthusiasm as the butterfly expertly evades their little grasping hands. Their parents all watching with soft smiles and wistful hearts. Knowing that this simple moment in life, where you feel nothing but content and peace, just in that one moment experienced, realizing this is the goal. These are the moments everyone is searching for. The simple happy moments you will remember forever and in the end be able to say I had a life worth living because I was simply happy in and with the live I've created. All the pain and trials that you had to go through and face making it worth it.

The happiness and peace flowing throughout your being seemed to be contagious. Effecting and enlightening not just you.

"Today will be a good day." You smile again as fresh tears roll down your face. Your nightmare is over. You lean as far and as safely as you can out the window. Feeling a sudden fresh gust of wind roll over you, ruffling your still messy bed head. You take a last deep cleansing breath. As you start releasing that final breath you finally close this chapter of your life. Finally freeing yourself from the overbearing darkness and suffocating sadness that was threatening to consume you whole. It's only promise to you, being a constant, never changing, never ending suffering.

You let it go. Finally, truly, without turning back you say goodbye for the very last time. Letting go of all the unanswered questions and the belief that needing the answers was the only way you could ever move on. Freeing yourself and discovering that chasing after an answer you thought you needed only brought more pain and questions, never an answer. Understanding that trying to go after an explanation, or answer now is more trouble then it's worth and you realize it's better to let things rest and lie where they are at and accept them for what they are. You will no longer let the lack of understanding shackle you in place again. As your breathe finally leaves you, you pull yourself back in through your window, closing it. You turn and prepare yourself for the day. Excited to start your first day in this new chapter, ready to see what it will bring. As you finish up, you leave your room with a new spring in your step. Letting a sense of wonderment cloud your mind at all the new and undiscovered opportunities and experiences awaiting for you now. With your head held high, and the enlightening discoveries empowering you and providing you with the new knowledge and fuel you needed to finally save yourself and start over. You learned to finally let things go, no matter how much it hurts and embrace that pain and letting it flow and and go through you, letting everything lost, unsaid, and unanswered disappear without holding onto it and chasing after it. You were able to say your last goodbye and make peace within yourself, inevitably setting yourself free.

You reach your front door and just as your about to open it, you come to your final and last realization. You fling the door open with an excited vigor and uncontainable excitement. Feeling stronger and revitalized you step out into the amber glow of the day. Letting it completely engulf you whole as you break free, ready to discover and build something knew. Leading yourself out into the day with your last parting thought, "Finally, this is what the true feeling of letting go feels like. Unanchored, I am free." You walk out into to blinding light. Letting your silhouette disappear into that light where the nightmares cant follow you anymore and even though they were screaming, pleading for you to turn and look back, you never once did. Disappearing into the daylight, leaving your nightmarish, constant repeating, soul crushing and damming shackles in the shadows where they belong. Striding away unapologeticly with no intention of ever returning to that place again. You did it. You won. You're finally free.

~Author: Dani K

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mavwrekmarketing · 7 years

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Ive been struggling since the election, and now since inauguration, with two questions: First, why does this feel worse than its ever felt before? Second, how can I stop feeling this way?

Why does this feel so awful?

I read a lot of conservative media, and it tells me that Im a sore loser and a snowflake, and everyone I know needs a safe space. We libtards just keep crying and crying and cant get over it.

Well it is true that everyone I know is in terrible pain about this election and now the actions of our 45th president. And it is true, judging from opinion polls, that the 40 to 45 percent of the people who support the president support him just as strongly today as they did two weeks ago despite the travel ban, despite the DeVos nomination, despite the multiple threats issued to our allies. (Many of us fear they support him not despite these things but because of them).

I can live within a framework of such a profound difference of worldview Ive lived through it before. This time, however, it is different. Every comment I see made by those of us terrified by our new president and what he means for the country is met by an equal and opposite comment from those enthralled by the current White House occupant. Those equal and opposite responses take joy in the pain of those on the left. Our national dialogue could now be summed up by Lisa Simpson saying, I am desperately unhappy, and Nelson Muntz pointing and laughing.

A marriage unraveling

Our country, at least politically, has been undergoing a trial separation for nearly 20 years. I would root it in the impeachment of Bill Clinton. My thoughtful conservative friends would tell me Im wrong and the root is the Robert Bork nomination hearings. Both sides would describe the beginning of the separation in basically the same way: this was the point when I realized the other side was in it just to win and had thrown all propriety, all history, all common bond out the window. This is when I realized the other side considered me the enemy.

For at least two decades (three if you want to begin with Bork), we have fought each other pretty intensely, thought ill of each other, said nasty things about each other in public and in private, and (likely most importantly) weve spent less and less time together. If you were a progressive liberal and you could, you likely moved to the nearest urban area. Maybe you even packed your bags and made your way to California (there are a lot more of you here than when I first got here 20 years ago). If you were a conservative, you tended to congregate with other conservatives, either in suburbs, exurbs, rural areas, or the few conservative cities (generally in the South and Southwest).

We chose different neighborhoods, different careers, different friends. The division between us became regional, local, and increasingly racial and gendered.

But we all agreed on one thing: we loved the kid. We have maintained some bond of contact because we love this country. We each have our own way of showing it you conservatives (Ill pretend any of you are actually reading this) talk often of its beauty and its liberty, that it is a shining city on a hill and the land of opportunity. We, in contrast, talk of its inexorable march toward justice and its magnificent history of taking those who rise up and demand their freedom and, eventually, embracing them and making them part of the national character.

Its when the kid doesnt live up to our expectations that we have our fiercest fights.

You think the kid is weak, ineffectual, a baby killer, overly tolerant of the wrong element, riddled with crime and racial divisions that only get worse. You think its factories are falling apart, its competitive edge gone. And you think thats because weve been overly permissive parents.

We think the kid is sometimes an entitled bully; that it uses its power unwisely; that it picks on the weakest here and abroad and that it should instead use its power to protect them and help them up. We think the kid has an incredible capacity for charity and kindness and equality, but youve filled its head with suspicion and superstition and, yes, racism and misogyny.

Underlying this disagreement, though in almost everyone I know has been a belief that eventually we would reconcile. Eventually, our mutual love of the kid would bring us back together. Rushing into each others arms, wed embrace and remember that we love our country, love each other, that we are one people, that the music would swell, and wed live happily ever after. Like the end of La La Land, for 20 years weve dreamed of a world where it all works out.

Pictured Above (L to R): Not the Best Picture of 2016. Its still pretty great! But come on, people! Moonlight!

When in the course of human events

Why am I so sad? Why is everyone I know so sad? Because we still loved you, you jerks. We still wanted to share this country with you, in all of its abundance and glory. We still wanted to do great things together with you to send men and women to Mars, to power our industry through renewable energy, to make peace in the Middle East. We have believed that as a nation, we were on a path a long, inevitable arc bending toward justice and that we were walking down that path with you. And 2016 has killed that ember of hope for many of us. We now see and understand that this trial separation is not a trial for you. It never was. You hate us and you dont want to be with us anymore. More importantly, you will do anything you can to have the kid and keep the kid all to yourselves. And that realization is painful.

This realization one we werent ready for after Florida in 2000 and one that was delayed by our unity after 9/11 requires mourning and processing. Sure, it may even require some crying. But if you think thats the end of the story, wow, have you misunderstood our mutual history.

By electing Donald J. Trump, you have asked us for a divorce. Really, youve demanded it. Why do I say that?

You told us you cared about religious liberty. And then you elected a guy who has pledged to stomp on the religious liberty of our friends and neighbors.

You told us you cared about free markets and integrity. And then you elected a guy who has undisclosed business ties to God-knows-whom and is clearly using the power of his office to alter the free market. Hes literally tanked stock prices of companies with tweets! This is so counter to everything you ever said you wanted, we cant quite wrap our heads around it.

You told us you were humiliated by Bill Clinton getting a blow job in the White House and that it demeaned our country. Then you elected a guy who bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and who was accused of rape by his ex-wife. We cant comprehend this.

You told us you cared about the military and its traditions and that we were awful parents because we didnt care enough. And then you elected a guy who disparaged prisoners of war (a group so hallowed in this country, theres a special flag) and who regularly said our military is a disaster.

You told us that you are suspicious of the imperial presidency and executive actions unchecked by congress. This was the unforgivable sin of that Obama guy we loved so much. And then you elected a guy who is wreaking havoc with executive actions that are poorly constructed and poorly communicated. In response to the chaos of his travel ban order, his approval ratings havent budged among conservatives.

You told us that it was all about states rights and municipalities ability to make their own decisions. Youve been telling us that since you guys were Democrats (under Jefferson) and we were Federalists (under Adams); the federal authority is too great and the states must have autonomy, you said! And then you elected a guy who declares he might send the national guard into one of our great metropolises, threatens to defund states that dont support his immigration policies, and declares he will pull federal funding from a university because it didnt allow some alt-right pipsqueak to speak (it did, but thats not the topic for this conversation).

You spent years venerating Ronald Reagan, who called the Soviets the evil empire and particularly had a big problem with the KGB and what it did to its people. He also spoke quite a lot about tearing down walls and not building them. And then you elect a guy who can do nothing but praise the former KGB agent heading Russia, who says hes going to build a wall, and who appears to have deep and shady connections into Russia. Or maybe he doesnt! But you seem unconcerned with even the possibility.

You elected him, and now that hes acting this way, youre still supporting him! We expected truly, deep down, no lie that once he began to behave like the bullying emperor we suspected he would be, the sort you always accused Obama of being, you would begin to pull your support. We so wanted to believe it. But his approval rating is 89% among Republicans. You like how hes acting. And from this we can only conclude

You hate us now more than you love the kid.

You hate us now more than you love your own beliefs and values.

You hate us so much that you would side with Russia, you would abandon your principles, you would do anything to defeat us and watch us roil.

We can only conclude that it is precisely our unhappiness with the president that makes you happy. And if that is the case, you dont dream of ever working with us. You dont dream of ever reconciling. You dream of defeating us. You dream of humiliating us.

What do we do now?

In any divorce, you have a set of choices. One of them, of course, is to fake your own death and run away to another country. That is not an option I believe we should contemplate.

Generally, people have amicable divorces or contested divorces. When amicable, they seek counsel that mediates disputes and looks for win-win solutions. When contested, they seek leg-breaking lawyers who will do everything to maximize the outcome for their client, including seeking sole custody.

It is not an option for us to go our separate ways completely because we share the kid. Thus, our previous hopes for reconciliation. Lately, I think we have hoped that a win-win, mediated, shared custody approach was possible if we were to end this marriage. What is clear now is that for years the Republicans have been making use of the kind of leg-breaking, stop-at-nothing attorneys we have been loathe to employ. Theyve been kicking our asses in court while we kept hoping we could work this out.

No more.

So now a custody battle

The election of 2016 could have been a fluke. A goof. An accident. No one thought he would win. It could have even brought us together. If the #NeverTrump movement on your side (Im going to go back to pretending any Republicans are reading this) had taken blossom and you bounced this clown upon his inauguration, I can promise you, we would have come running into your arms. It would have been a great moment of reconciliation. You cannot (apparently) imagine how much we would have loved the Republican party if it ejected this unfit yahoo. A new era of compromise would have been possible. We could have worked with Pence and Ryan.

Instead, you have revealed that you would rather win than care for the kid we both love. So now is when it turns really ugly.

You think were snowflakes? You think were just going to give up and let you take the country away? Thats incredible.

There are some numbskulls on the left talking about secession. As Sam Houston of Texas said on the matter in the 1860s, The federal Constitution, the federal Government, and its starry flag are glorious heritages bequeathed to the South and all sections of our common country by the valor and patriotism of Washington, and all the brave revolutionary soldiers, who fought for and won American independence. This is our country and our government and there is not a chance in hell were going to let you have it by leaving even if that were legally possible (which it isnt, numbskulls).

Were the ones who have marched for this country. Were the ones who have taken blows to the head, been killed, hit with water hoses and blasted with water cannons, fought and bled to protect this country from the likes of its current president. If you think were snowflakes, you better prepare for the blizzard coming your way.

When you see us out in the streets, thats not a bunch of liberals crying. Those arent melting snowflakes who need a hug and a safe space. Thats the inevitable march of some people who loved you and are now very, very pissed off.

Were going to organize every last living voter in every neighborhood in this country. Were taking you to the ballot box.

Were going to be out in the streets opposing every last thing you do from now until we can unwind the coil you have around this countrys throat. We will confront you with the truth about what youre doing to this country and we will not relent.

Were going to hire the nastiest, toughest, smartest, leg-breakinest lawyers in the country. Were taking you to court.

To my countrymen and women with broken hearts…

This is a terribly sad time for us. And now we have to let go of one kind of hope and take hold of another.

Let us recognize, there are two groups who gave this lecherous villain and his malevolent brood the keys to the White House:

First, there is a group of our countrymen who hate us. They are the rank and file of the Republican Party, and they want to destroy us. They will not rest until they take every lever of power away from us, annihilating any compromise in the government. They can show this isnt true at any time through their actions and have failed to do so over and over.

Second, there is a group of our fellow citizens who are scared, hurt, and angry. They feel abandoned by the government both Democrat and Republican and theyve made common cause with these thugs because they hope it will bring them jobs and safety.

Its time that we put aside reconciliation with the former and fight them tooth and nail on behalf of ourselves and the latter.

The Republicans who have given themselves over to hatred will laugh at us. They will mock us. And eventually, they will lose. It will start two years from now at mid-terms, then four years, then six.

We could have had a divorce with shared custody. Not anymore. Were taking the kid.

They have undone our desire to share this country with them. They have dismantled our liberal desire to be reasonable and see their side of things. They have done it by endangering our children and our future. They have done it by putting their anger at us ahead of their professed love of country, and that is the one thing we can never forgive.

(This piece originally appeared on Medium.)

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