#i reread the book last spring and it hit so much harder

[sairobee]

lilies for the dead, piranesi

#fanart: bmt #piranesi #i reread the book last spring and it hit so much harder #the beauty of the house is immeasure; its kindness infinite #art: bmt #fanart: piranesi

[anakinthetrashking]

yo! you just read the queen's thief series? :0 i am a long-time fan and would LOVE to hear any of your feelings about it (also, have you seen the discord server bc its pretty active and fans always love more fans if discord servers are your thing :)

So, you'll have to forgive how LATE this reply is, it's been a mixture of busy-school-semester-quarantine-social-burnout and tumblr deleting my replies when I tried to save them to continue writing later!! But it's now 3am and my brain won't stop thinking about Queen's Thief, so it's the best time to reply, really! (But I really do appreciate you sending in this ask to let me rant about TQT!!!!! AHFKSISJ replying is just hard sometimes lol)

So because I'm terribly long winded and because spoilers!!! For a few people who follow me who haven't read it/or haven't finished reading it, the rest is under the readmore!

Where to begin. So my blog says I just read it but I realized that's a little bit of a lie now? I read the first five books for the first time at the end of Dec 2019, and the beginning of January 2020! I had seen the name of the series around before, around Tumblr bc of a few people I'm following, in regards to a Batfam fic by lurkinglurkerwholurks, ( this one: Breathing )who is ALSO a longtime TQT fan! I reread her Batfam fic after reading the Queen's Thief series and it hit SOOOOOOOOO much harder. Really brilliant. But that last straw was getting an email saying that one of my other all time fav fic writers was writing a fic for TQT. I saw that email and basically immediately downloaded The Thief on my library app 😂 (i needed to be able to read the fic!!! And I'm soooooo glad I: a) read the series before reading the fic, therefore not spoiling anything and b) was able to read the fic because holy cow does it live rent free in my brain. It's Ere by audreycritter btw)

Anyhow, I absolutely DEVOURED the books. I read one after another and then ended up rereading the first three again more slowly over the course of that spring semester. I started drawing again, listened to a good amount the Attolian Archives podcast, reblogged and MADE!! ART!! and m e m es, died when MWT REBLOGGED ONE OF MY MEMES AND SAID IT MADE HER LAUGH, recommended the series to a bunch of people and got several to at least *start* reading the series! I haven't gotten seratonin from books like this since early high school ten years ago! 🤣

Plus the fandom is SO SWEET!!!! And MWT is so engaging!!!! I love that she lets us play in her sandbox! It's like she made a fully furnished dollhouse complete with dolls but she lets us continue to decorate it and build on it and move the dolls around, and then she comes up and gives us compliments on the little things we've done!!! 🥺😭💞

Oh but the books themselves!!! They dig their spots in my heart deeper everytime I read them!!! I don't think Ive ever read a series that I enjoy more every time I reread it. I'm looking forward to rereading this last book, bc I know that the only one that I was obsessed with the first read through was QoA. All the others I liked the first time I read it, but I wasn't in LOVE with them, you know? But when I went back to read them a second time I LOVED THEM. Its like a riptide that you kick around in the shallows the first time around, and then the next time suddenly you're sucked out to sea???

It feels like the pages hold secrets that need to be teased out. The dialogue is SO FUN. It has suspense but not so much that you're stressed. It's so balanced. It has lines that make you put the book down and have to just, do a lap.around the block because they really said that. THEY REALLY SAID THAT. "Diplomacy, in my own name." SHE REALLY SAID THAT. The symbolism, the foreshadowing, I'm OBSESSED! THE CHARACTERS!!!! THE LOYALTY!!!!! What i wouldn't do to have that sort of loyalty written into some of the other fandoms that I'm in. And the TEnderNESS. The way Gen interacts with others??? The way he loves so.wholly? With his entire self??? The way that it's sorta slowburn found family before tumbling into found family all at once in a way that isn't slowburn at all?? I'm pulled in by Gens tricks every time. The storytwists surprised me but made sense. The writing was enjoyable to get lost in. I think of the way that Gen sits at Irene's feet and looks up at her with eyes full of love, how he sits like a printers apprentice in a chair but sits like a king while sick/hurt in his bed, I think about the way he pushed Relius's hair back and kissed him on the forehead, how Relius said he would still crawl back to his Queen and Gen said me too, the difference between my Queen and my King and your Majesty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 the way Helen says that Sophos basically has Gens heart in his hands, the way that all four of them are entwined together. I think about these books and I'm filled with YEARNING

Uh, No thoughts, head empty except for squeeing about TQT. This isn't even like,,,,,, idk a quarter of it??? There's so much more but it's all so hard to put into words, a lot of it is just me yelling incoherently because I'm overwhelmed! And when I string words together it's, well. All over the place! 😂

As for the discord thing, I've seen the link around! I'm uh, Not Great(tm) at being social, and so the discord is a leeeeetle daunting, haha. But I have considered it, especially because I have an... Interesting fic idea that I wanted to drop into the pool of other TQT fans to see their reactions. It's... a little bit evil...

Thanks again for the ask!

#tqt #the queen's thief #queen's thief #i would hand him my heart on a toothpick if he asked 🥺 #an appropriate tag for this! #ive been feeling unnecessarily guilty about this unanswered ask for months RIP #ive WANTED to answer it!!! but my brain kept latching onto other things bc ADHD and also anxiety keeps me from doing most things lol #excuses excuses #i did enjoy writing this all out tho! #ive been waiting on like 4 different friends to get further in the books (aka past a CERTAIN POINT) so i could scream about stuff with them #so i totally am for wanting to hear the thoughts of someone new to it and if i think of more later ill add more #uh does that make any sense..? it was trying to be thank you for letting me rant about my new obsession and i get where youre coming from in #wanting to hear someone new rant about your old obsession??? #ok maybe i need to sleep now #im so 🥺😭💞🥺😭💞🥺😭💞🥺 about TQT tho #mwt #megan whalen turner

[rycewrites]

lookism rant #1

so... it’s spring break. and i’ve spent the entire break doing what any smart ap student would do: ignoring my five looming ap tests and draining my phone battery by looking at webtoons and instagram. since most of my favorite webtoons are on hiatus, i have resolved to rereading my favorites, and one that i’ve reread the most so far is lookism. as spring break comes to a finish in two days, i decided to get my life back on track and instead of simply rereading the comic, i will rant about my most and least favorite characters starting with the fandom’s all-time favorite character (yes, if you check the wiki for lookism there is a poll and it is fact that he is the majority’s favorite), jay hong/hong jae yeol. (also, note that these are my opinions so if you disagree with them don’t be offended but i would be happy to hear other people’s opinions on the webtoon! please comment who would be on your list because i need to talk to more people who read lookism!)

top favorite characters~

1. jay hong/hong jae yeol:

let’s just list off reasons why everyone loves him: he is well-dressed (even plans out other people’s outfits), generous (gives daniel literally everything he wants), selfless (he fricking took in enu’s pups even though he is scared of dogs), RICH (main reason for kouji’s admiration), strong (manz uses his systema well), and CAN RIDE A MOTORCYCLE (yes, i love a man who can ride a bike). he may not be the most dynamic character, but his static puppy status makes it impossible for me to put him lower on this list. we honestly don’t know that much about his backstory and i am super curious about why his family relationships are so strained (except with his sister, joy). for now, he remains a mystery, but like an attractive mystery. overall, me -> ( ･_･)♡

2. zach lee/lee jin sung:

honestly hated this boi in the beginning because he was a big bully to daniel, but  he has been through some SERIOUS character development. mira was a big part in this but i feel like overall his morals have changed so much even when mira isn’t around. he does still fight often, but now it’s not meaningless violence as he uses his boxing skills to defend his friends (ex: defending johan during the god dogs arc).

i also hated his eyebrows and hair in the beginning of the comic but like that’s personal preference. however, in the last few episodes, his hair looks SO GOOD (reference image above).

he is second on my list of favorite characters because i feel that his development throughout the story has been the most dynamic. he not only changed mentally as he overlooks lookism more (ex: he is not only friends with big daniel but also little daniel) but also physically as he doesn’t simply depend on his inherent talent for boxing but actually goes back and trains again in order to get better (to defend mira >.<)

in the future, i hope to see more development with his relationship with mira and his friends because i hold a lot of high hopes for this boi! ♥‿♥

3. vasco/lee eun tae/tabasco:

BIG CUTIE ENERGY ♥╣[-_-]╠♥! first off, he may not have as much long-term development over the course of the story like zach, but we do see a lot of his development with his own arc and bullying story. he was always a pure boi and his inherent innocence creates a discrepancy with his appearance which makes him more endearing in my opinion. the idea of lookism is very apparent in his character because most people look at him and see him as a gangster or someone very intimidating, but in reality his personality and mindset are very innocent (showing another way that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover). i honestly LOVED the scene in the god dogs arc in which he defended zach and daniel joins in because that friendship is GOLDEN. i love how he always strives to be stronger and more powerful to defeat the evil in the world because it shows that he truly cares about the weaker people and those impacted by lookism. in my opinion, i think that vasco and zach will end up being the most powerful in the story (but that’s my opinion)

4. mira kim/kim mi jin:

pure! cute! sweet! moral! (✿ ♥‿♥)! mira is just an all-around great gal that makes it impossible for me to find flaws with. although she isn’t super major in terms of daniel’s story, she does impact zach significantly and makes him a better person. like she is the sole reason that zach has become a character that i truly admire and like. (although she did think that daniel was the r-word when he tried hitting on her in the beginning of the story. but throughout the story we see that she isn’t really a person to judge people on looks and stuff as we see that she gives jasmine the benefit of the doubt even after the vasco fiasco)

5. yena/eli jang’s (jang hyun’s) daughter:

honestly too cute for words. like the episodes where zach and mira find her are my favorites so i just wanted to include her in my favorite character list. also, she seems to be a character that really impacts other characters (zach and eli really changed for her ಥ_ಥ)

least favorite characters~

park ji ho:

always doing dumb things and making it harder for the people around him. he tries too hard to be a part of the popular group and as zach said, he doesn’t really think of them as friends because he just thinks about what the benefits are for hanging out with daniel and co. i think we all went from being tolerant of jiho in the beginning and then hating him at the end. i especially hated how he kept blaming other people and yet not accepting when people were being friendly. especially during the fake bank account arc, he just brushed off daniel when he asked jiho if he wanted to go to the convenience store then jiho goes running back to daniel and his friends when he realizes his mistake. overall, -123912830/10.

2. james gong:

don’t even know where to start with this punk. very violent for very little reason! i know i stated before that i hate jiho but i still felt kinda bad for him when he realized that james had sold the bank account he made for him. just overall a very intimidating character that hurt zach (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

3. jasmine huh:

needs to get her shit(ake) together. first off, she almost got vasco expelled from the school because of her lies. like big! red! flag! it seems that she really doesn’t care about other people (except james) and is willing to put so many other people at risk to save her own behind. also, i hate how she uses other people. like how she uses mira to make money when mira didn’t do anything wrong ヾ(ﾟдﾟ)ﾉ. i hope she one day realizes that her lies are gonna hurt so many other people and then herself.

4. heemin kim/zeus/creepy dude from the boot camp arc:

sexual assault is a big no in this household. i hate how he thinks that being handsome can defend him of his crimes! also, he broke zach’s arms which made me FLIP OUT. LIKE HOW DO YOU DARE TO HARM MY BOXER BOI. he also attacked mira, an actual angel ლ(ﾟдﾟლ). words can’t describe how much i hate this man but numbers can -> 0/10

5. logan lee/lee tae sung:

big bully energy. he needs to lay his hands off of everyone (especially zoe!). blackmail? big no go in this household. he also dumped his plate of food on mira? BIG NO GO! he needs to get his life together and realize that people don’t hate him because he’s “ugly,” it’s because he has THE WORST PERSONALITY!

6. strong contenders for least favorite: stalker girl, animal cruelty cat mom/hoarder, zoe’s stalker

characters that i need more information about to form stronger opinions about~

vin jin/jin ho bin:

dislike him because he abused enu but also want to know more about him. big bully energy but i feel like he has a deep backstory behind him so i want to know more. why did he quite judo? why does he wear sunglasses? hope he gets over his superiority complex and changes because i feel like he has a lot of potential.

2. eli jang/jang hyun:

so far, very cute and strong is all i have to say about him. also, he is a good dad like that scene where he put out that god dog’s cigarette? MAJOR PROPS TO YOU ELI. i’m very curious about his backstory as well because it seems that he was a contender for gun’s successor but he changed drastically to take care of yena. i also just love a man with good hair sooo…

3. jong gun + joon goo:

i want to know more about these two! like what’s their backstory? why did gun create the 4 big crews? why was goo sent to the juvenile detention center before? (look at vasco’s bullying arc for reference) why did gun leave goo alone with the money collection? overall very mysterious and i want to learn more.

random characters that just deserve appreciation~

crystal choi/choi soo jung:

we stan a strong female character. however, i don’t like how she is immediately prejudiced against handsome men in the beginning of her appearance. i think over time she’ll realize that her prejudice isn’t right and her experience as someone who has to deal with lookism doesn’t justify her immediate judgements. however, we need more female fighters in this story so she is a big yes.

2. duke pyeon:

WE STAN A MAN WHO FOLLOWS HIS DREAMS DESPITE BEING BULLIED AND JUDGED. yes, we stan.

3. daniel park/park hyung suk:

honestly, he’s a great character and all, but i don’t know if he could ever reach favorite character status. i just have a mindset that makes me unable to pick the protagonist as a favorite character because i feel like they are sometimes created specifically to just bring the story together. don’t get me wrong, he’s a great person, defends his friends, and doesn’t fight for no reason, but i feel like there isn’t anything super special about his personality (other than the fact that he has two bodies but like so does crystal). he also looks like kim seokjin in his new body which is a big plus.

4. inu/enu + inu/enu’s pups:

i love dogs

5. mary kim/idk her korean name someone help me:

strong female character? i think yes. honestly such a fav. she doesn’t take sh*t from vin jin and i honestly want to know more about her character and background. *spoiler alert* i read ahead in the korean version and saw that she can beat people up too so like… she’s a bada**.

6. kouji:

as a person interested in computer science, I STAN. i also love a man with good hair. his cocky personality is sometimes off-putting but honestly his confidence is endearing at times. also we both love money!

7. jace park/park bum jae:

during vasco’s bullying story, i was so sad when he left vasco, but i love how he realized that he should’ve been a better friend and has stuck with vasco after all of this time. also love how he listens to vasco and tries to make him happy even when he knows that vasco does some silly things (like planting durian seeds in korea)

8. zoe park/park ha neul:

i love her development! she still fights with herself over whether she should like big daniel or small daniel, which displays her internal conflict with lookism. over time she has stopped judging people solely on their appearance and she is even able to distinguish between daniel and his cousin! (in my opinion, if daniel doesn’t end up with jay he better end up with zoe instead)

9. daniel’s (hyung suk’s) mother:

ICON! WE NEED TO APPRECIATE OUR PARENTS MORE! I AM A BIG STAN! SHE WORKS HARD FOR DANIEL AND IT BREAKS MY HEART WHEN DANIEL DOESN’T REALIZE!

10. song johan:

deserved better. he was just trying to help his mom which makes him so pure! but i feel like he should realize that he has friends (zach and mira) that could help him get through his problems! overall, want to see more of him and i hope he develops even more.

#lookism #daniel park #crystal choi #zach lee #vasco #jay hong #kouji #johan #webtoon #zoe park #logan lee #jace park #mary kim #vin jin #eli jang #james gong #mira kim

[dear--charlie]

Dear friend,

August 25, 1991 

I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn’t try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have. Please don’t try to figure out who she is because then you might figure out who I am, and I really don’t want you to do that. I will call people by different names or generic names because I don’t want you to find me. I didn’t enclose a return address for the same reason. I mean nothing bad by this. Honest. I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist. I think you of all people would understand that because I think you of all people are alive and appreciate what that means. At least I hope you do because other people look to you for strength and friendship and it’s that simple. At least that’s what I’ve heard. So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be. I try to think of my family as a reason for me being this way, especially after my friend Michael stopped going to school one day last spring and we heard Mr. Vaughn’s voice on the loudspeaker. “Boys and girls, I regret to inform you that one of our students has passed on. We will hold a memorial service for Michael Dobson during assembly this Friday.” I don’t know how news travels around school and why it is very often right. Maybe it was in the lunchroom. It’s hard to remember. But Dave with the awkward glasses told us that Michael killed himself. His mom played bridge with one of Michael’s neighbors and they heard the gunshot. I don’t really remember much of what happened after that except that my older brother came to Mr. Vaughn’s office in my middle school and told me to stop crying. Then, he put his arm on my shoulder and told me to get it out of my system before Dad came home. We then went to eat french fries at McDonald’s and he taught me how to play pinball. He even made a joke that because of me he got to skip an afternoon of school and asked me if I wanted to help him work on his Camaro. I guess I was pretty messy because he never let me work on his Camaro before. At the guidance counselor sessions, they asked the few of us who actually liked Michael to say a few words. I think they were afraid that some of us would try to kill ourselves or something because they looked very tense and one of them kept touching his beard. Bridget who is crazy said that sometimes she thought about suicide when commercials come on during TV. She was sincere and this puzzled the guidance counselors. Carl who is nice to everyone said that he felt very sad, but could never kill himself because it is a sin. This one guidance counselor went through the whole group and finally came to me. “What do you think, Charlie?” What was so strange about this was the fact that I had never met this man because he was a “specialist” and he knew my name even though I wasn’t wearing a name tag like they do in open house. “Well, I think that Michael was a nice guy and I don’t understand why he did it. As much as I feel sad, I think that not knowing is what really bothers me.” I just reread that and it doesn’t sound like how I talk. Especially in that office because I was crying still. I never did stop crying. The counselor said that he suspected that Michael had “problems at home” and didn’t feel like he had anyone to talk to. That’s maybe why he felt all alone and killed himself. Then, I started screaming at the guidance counselor that Michael could have talked to me. And I started crying even harder. He tried to calm me down by saying that he meant an adult like a teacher or a guidance counselor. But it didn’t work and eventually my brother came by the middle school in his Camaro to pick me up. For the rest of the school year, the teachers treated me different and gave me better grades even though I didn’t get any smarter. To tell you the truth, I think I made them all nervous. Michael’s funeral was strange because his father didn’t cry. And three months later he left Michael’s mom. At least according to Dave at lunchtime. I think about it sometimes. I wonder what went on in Michael’s house around dinner and TV shows. Michael never left a note or at least his parents didn’t let anyone see it. Maybe it was “problems at home.” I wish I knew. It might make me miss him more clearly. It might have made sad sense. One thing I do know is that it makes me wonder if I have “problems at home” but it seems to me that a lot of other people have it a lot worse. Like when my sister’s first boyfriend started going around with another girl and my sister cried for the whole weekend. My dad said, “There are other people who have it a lot worse.” And my mom was quiet. And that was that. A month later, my sister met another boy and started playing happy records again. And my dad kept working. And my mom kept sweeping. And my brother kept fixing his Camaro. That is, until he left for college at the beginning of the summer. He’s playing football for Penn State but he needed the summer to get his grades right to play football. I don’t think that there is a favorite kid in our family. There are three of us and I am the youngest. My brother is the oldest. He is a very good football player and likes his car. My sister is very pretty and mean to boys and she is in the middle. I get straight A’s now like my sister and that is why they leave me alone. My mom cries a lot during TV programs. My dad works a lot and is an honest man. My Aunt Helen used to say that my dad was going to be too proud to have a midlife crisis. It took me until around now to understand what she meant by that because he just turned forty and nothing has changed. My Aunt Helen was my favorite person in the whole world. She was my mom’s sister. She got straight A’s when she was a teenager and she used to give me books to read. My father said that the books were a little too old for me, but I liked them so he just shrugged and let me read. My Aunt Helen lived with the family for the last few years of her life because something very bad happened to her. Nobody would tell me what happened then even though I always wanted to know. When I was around seven, I stopped asking about it because I kept asking like kids always do and my Aunt Helen started crying very hard. That’s when my dad slapped me, saying, “You’re hurting your aunt Helen’s feelings!” I didn’t want to do that, so I stopped. Aunt Helen told my father not to hit me in front of her ever again and my father said this was his house and he would do what he wanted and my mom was quiet and so were my brother and sister. I don’t remember much more than that because I started crying really hard and after a while my dad had my mom take me to my room. It wasn’t until much later that my mom had a few glasses of white wine and told me what happened to her sister. Some people really do have it a lot worse than I do. They really do. I should probably go to sleep now. It’s very late. I don’t know why I wrote a lot of this down for you to read. The reason I wrote this letter is because I start high school tomorrow and I am really afraid of going. Love always, Charlie (CHBOSKY, Stephen. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (1999). MTV Books, 2010.)

#the perks of being a wallflower #dear charlie #the book

[shittyfandomwritings]

Too Good To Be True - Jason Todd x Reader

Summary: You live in a reality where Jason Todd and his family only exists in comics. In other words, you’re real - and he’s not. Until one day, when you actually meet him.

Warnings: slight angst, maybe a bit of OOC Jason, torture, death

Note: i may be considering a pt 2

Word Count: 2k

“Y/N!”

You jolt awake, sliding off your chair and onto your bedroom floor. Groaning, you prop yourself up on one sarm, holding your head with the other, as you look up at your roommate, Aria.

Aria’s eyes sweep the room, her eyebrows furrowing disapprovingly at the state of your bedroom: clothes are thrown over your chair, your dresser and on your bed, food wrappers litter the floor, a dirty coffee-stained cup sits on your desk, while comic books are piled on every surface in the room - your desk, your bed, your drawers, even the floor.

She leans against the doorway. “What time did you sleep last night?”

You rub your head sheepishly. “Uh… 5?”

Aria shakes her head, and holds out a hand to you. “You have to stop staying up so late. It’s a Saturday.”

“Uh, that’s exactly why I stay up so late. There’s no work tomorrow.” You accept her hand.

“Comics aren’t worth sleep,” she scolds. You gasp at this, but she continues chewing you out. “You can’t keep up this lifestyle just for an obsession with a fictional family.”

You are too tired to argue with her, so you just block out her reprimands and take a seat at the breakfast bar as she prepares lunch.

“They’re not just fiction,” you mutter to yourself once you’re sure she’s not listening. “They’re my life.”

All day, every day, you go through the exact same thing: you reading comic books or fanfiction, and people telling you that you’re a mature adult who shouldn’t spend so much time on “childish” works of fiction and obsessing over a fictional character. You’re sick and tired of it, because you’re a grown adult who can do whatever the hell you want to do.

It hurts that you’ll never be able to really know Jason Todd and his family in real life, since - well, since they’re not real. And, in the grand scheme of things, just because you know basically everything there is to know about him, it doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t exist.

You try not to think about it, but with more and more people reminding you every single day about your existence and his non-existence, it’s getting harder to forget and ignore the cold truth.

But whatever. Comic books are apart of your identity. It’s the thing that makes you special, makes you stand out, makes you that stereotypical comic book nerd.

And you wouldn’t change it for the world.

You get through the day groggily with your daily dose of fanfiction, chips, coffee, and comics. At night, you do what you always do - stay up reading until you eventually fall asleep.

You drift off into sleep, but no sooner than 2 minutes later, you wake up again. Stumbling over to the window (which you normally wouldn’t do, but you feel more energised, which is very strange; usually you would be too lethargic to even get up upon waking), you open the blinds to see that the sun is shining brightly.

Looks like it’s another day on this painful planet.

Walking out of the room, you notice that your vision is oddly bright, like someone put an instagram filter over your eyes and sources of light become too bright and make your eyes go out of focus, but you dismiss it. Perhaps it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you.

“Aria?” You call out. “Are you here?”

No one answers you, leading you to assume that she went for a run, but she has left you a sandwich, so that’s good. After eating breakfast, you change into thicker clothing and head downtown to the library to borrow some comics, even though you have a lot of unread books at home.

Okay, yeah, that’s basically what you do every day, but it doesn’t get boring.

You step into the cozy library that seems more like a small cafe with books and dim, aesthetically pleasing lighting, and nod at the librarian, who smiles back. You don’t know her name, but she did allow you to slip in to borrow some books after closing hours, so you sort of respect her in a way.

You make a beeline for the comics section and start to select certain favourite issues. You’ve already read 90% of the comics section, so now you basically just reread them over and over again. Sometimes it gets boring, but you’re too broke to buy new issues.

While browsing, you flip through some pages of Red Hood and The Outlaws #2, but to your shock and horror, the pages are completely blank.

The book starts to dissolve in your hands, and you step back clumsily. What did you just do? What the hell is going on?

You back up and stumble into a hard chest, whirling around to see -

Holy shit.

Is that Jason fucking Todd?

You open your mouth to speak, to say something, but nothing comes out, so you end up gaping at him like a fish.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, you finally find it in yourself to speak, albeit stutteringly and stammeringly. “I - uh, you, I mean - sorry.” Your cheeks turn embarrassingly red. “For - bumping into you. I mean.”

A small smile appears on his lips. “It’s fine.”

Another awkward silence passes before you voice the question you were dying to ask. “So, uh, I’m Y/N L/N. What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Jason. Jason Todd.”

Your heart stops and you choke on air. You freak out internally. Mini Y/Ns are running around screaming “HOLY FUCK” over and over again, and Jason has to wave his hand in front of your face to catch your attention.

Yeah, you’re pretty sure your whole face is a tomato right now.

Over the period of 2 hours, you guys get past the awkwardness and get more comfortable with each other, and really hit it off. He’s funnier than you could have ever imagined, definitely more handsome, but maybe just as charming. You pretend not to know everything there is to know about this man, and he doesn’t seem to suspect a thing.

At the end of the day, Jason and you walk out of the library (after half an hour of the librarian shushing you two and glaring), hand in hand. You feel like you’re floating on a cloud. This is your dream, come true.

The next two months are even better. You learn something new about him every day, and it’s genuinely new - the comics never got this personal. You constantly feel like you’re in a dream. Everything is so perfect, and it’s honestly too good to be true… but it is.

Isn’t it?

You begin to notice strange occurrences in your daily life. For one, you haven’t seen Aria ever since you met Jason. It’s like she’s been completely wiped off the grid. You have no idea where she is, what she’s doing… You’re getting worried. There has to be something wrong.

Two days into the third month you’ve known Jason, he asks you to be his girlfriend. Practically bursting at the seams with excitement, you kiss him, and well, damn, he’s a better kisser than you could’ve ever imagined.

Halfway into the second month of your relationship, he tells you that he’s a vigilante, and you pretend to be shocked. But your worry is definitely the most genuine it’s ever been.

Jason insists on teaching you basic self-defence, and you oblige. It’s not the best idea, because every session ends up in making out, but it turns out to be especially handy… when you get kidnapped by the Joker, on his death anniversary.

This is the most hurt you’ve ever felt in your lifetime. Your ribs throb continually, waves of excruciating pain rolling over you.

“I deeply apologise for the inconvenience, but a little birdie told me that another bird holds you dear to his heart.” The Joker grins down at you, flashing sharp yellow teeth, madness dancing in his eyes as he brandishes a crowbar. “So here’s hoping your death will rip him apart!”

He swings the crowbar at you again, causing blood to dribble from your mouth. “How was that? Feel good?” He cackles insanely.

You tilt your chin up as much as you can, give him a defiant look, and spit blood at him. You miss, but it’s the thought that counts.

He scowls, hitting you again. It definitely hurts but you prefer his scowl over his laugh. You allow yourself this small victory, before your eyes start to get heavy.

“Oh yes! I almost forgot.” The madman takes out a small piece of paper and a pen out of his bloody purple suit, and scribbles something on it, then shows it to you. It reads, “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, JASON!”

He places the note beside your head. Even more blood collects in your mouth, and you begin to drift into unconsciousness. He swings the crowbar once again, and you are gone.

The last thing you see is the glass ceiling shattering, and 3 costumed figures dropping out. The last thing you taste is the blood in your mouth. The last thing you smell is the stench of your blood.

The last thing you hear is Jason’s anguished yell.

And you wake.

Clutching at your ribs, you pant. You are blood-free, in your bedroom, and in your pyjamas. Not a bloody body in an abandoned warehouse. There is no trace of The Joker, Jason, Tim or Dick. Confusion overtakes you.

Then it hits you, the truth that deep down you’ve known or at least suspected, the truth that you’ve rejected and tried to forget about.

Everything was just a dream. That’s all it was. Your dream was just a dream, always has been. You feel like screaming. It was just way too good to be true, wasn’t it?

The door opens, and Aria pokes her head into your room. “You look terrible,” she points out. “Bad dream?”

You run your fingers through your hair, and tears spring to your eyes as you think about how real Jason felt. “Sort of,” you mutter.

***

It’s been two weeks, and you don’t feel that much better. You already hated the Joker, but now you can’t stand to see his face. Sometimes you miss Jason, a little bit.

Okay, you miss Jason a lot, and all the time. You just can’t stop thinking about him.

It’s even affecting your daily habits of comic book reading. You can’t read anything to do with Jason or the Batfam without feeling this pang in your chest.

Honestly, you’re getting sick of missing him. He’s a fictional character, for God’s sake! You aren’t saying that you thought you had a chance before, but ever since that dream, you actually know what it feels like to be loved by Jason Todd, and it hurts that you’ll never feel it again.

Maybe whatever deity above who gave you that dream wants you to just dream it, and then get over it, like it was a treat that you miss but eventually forget about. But it didn’t work that way. Not for you.

So you continue with your daily life, with week after week of boring normality.

It’s a normal day. You’re just walking to the library, and boom - you just smack right into someone’s chest. You back up and open your mouth to apologise when a white streak in the stranger’s hair catches your eye.

It can’t be. Could it?

He does look exactly like Jason Todd. But that can’t be, it’s just a coincidence, because Jason isn’t real, right?

Gaping, you clear your throat and manage to stammer out an apology, and a “I - I’m Y/N.”

He chuckles and says, “It’s fine. I’m Jason, by the way.”

And you swear you nearly faint.

requests are open!

request for a pt 2 if you want ;)

#jason todd x reader #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #red hood x reader #red hood fanfic #dc x reader #dc fanfic #i write #my writing #mine