#i might make a little part 2 but idk

[girlatrocity]

kill to save

#ITS DONE‼️‼️‼️‼️ #ok ok ok so I'm pretty sure hawks and lady n never actually met or worked with each other #but this is supposed to be an au where she never killed the hpsc pres #and idk if it's clear or not but she doesn't believe a word she's saying #she just sees the hopeful child she used to be in him and she doesn't wanna ruin that #they make me ILL #bnha #mha #boko no hero academia #bnha fanart #my hero academia #hawks #mha hawks #takami keigo #keigo takami #lady nagant #kaina tsutsumi #tsutsumi kaina #hero public safety commission #bnha comic #i might make a little part 2 but idk #mine !!

[alchemania]

Be At Rest (Both Soul and Body)

Furina barely, if ever, caught Wanderer sleeping. He was always on the move, often whizzing by in a blue and white blur - or simply blending in with the crowds in Sumeru, allowing himself to sink into the sea of people around him.

So when she found him resting in the forest with a rather rotund bird on his head, the sight had her speechless for a good few moments. Not wanting to disturb his peace, Furina tiptoed closer and sat next to him as quietly as possible, folding her hands over her lap as she observed the sky- the clouds drifted lazily overhead, and she found herself relaxing, the air calm and warm. Looking back over to her companion, Furina wondered if he was truly sleeping, or just resting. Curious, she lifted a finger and gently poked his cheek, and an indigo eye opened instantly.

"What," he said, voice heavy with weariness.

"Were you sleeping?"

And just like that, the slight irritation she'd come to know shone through in his gaze. "I was TRYING to. Before somebody decided to bother me."

"..ah, sorry. I can lea-"

"I didn't ask you to go," he went on, closing his eye again and shifting so he was on his back. "As long as you stay quiet, it's fine." He folded his hands over his belly then, sighing, and Furina couldn't help but giggle - he looked like a little tired old man, and he acted about as crabby as one sometimes too, honestly. "The hell is so funny?"

"You look like a little old man," the white haired girl grinned, more giggles bubbling out of her, and the offense on Wanderer's face was palpable.

"I do not."

"You act like one, too. Crabby little guy who pretends he doesn't like anyone -"

"I don't pretend not to like people," he countered.

"..okay, but you do care a lot more than you let on."

".. I didn't know this was a character evaluation," Wanderer deadpanned, but the way his voice softened let Furina know she wasn't far off track.

"S'not a bad thing to care, you know."

A pause.

".. I know. A heart is a very heavy burden to carry though, sometimes. Almost too heavy."

"I think that's what makes us human though," the girl replied gently, also shifting so she was laying a few feet away from the young man. "The weight of - feeling, of loving, and holding things dear to us, and hurting when they're gone- that's a part of living."

"..hm."

"And yeah, hearts are a very heavy burden. But you don't have to carry it alone, either. Remember that." Furina looked up to the sky again, folding her hands over her breast, and Wanderer looked to her briefly with an unreadable (but visibly softer) expression before closing his eyes once more. A comfortable silence fell, and the warmth of the sun had Furina taken by slumber before she knew it.

When she woke up, the stars had already started to twinkle in the sky, and the girl sat up, slightly discombobulated. Sniffling, she rubbed at her eyes to wipe away her weariness, and then froze in her tracks when something akin to a sob broke the silence. For a moment, she thought she had imagined it, but then it came again, louder, and she turned to her companion, crawling over on her hands and knees. "Wanderer...?"

He didn't answer, but the tears rolling down his cheeks told her everything she needed to know. "Oh..." Furina's heart clenched, and she gently placed a hand to his back. "Hey ..hey, it's okay, it's just a dream, you're alright." Carefully, she reached out her free hand and patted him gently on the cheek, hoping to rouse him- if he was crying, his nightmare must be something awful. "Come on. Wake up."

Wanderer stirred, but did not wake, and to her shock, he began to mumble in his slumber:

"Please don't leave...don't leave me behind...."

"I'm not going anywhere," Furina assured.

"Mother," Wanderer begged, tears falling faster. "I'll do anything, just don't leave me here alone -"

Oh.

"Wake up," Furina pleaded, shaking him harder, and he did, taking a sharp gasp and settling into raggedly breathing. Wanderer looked around frantically, not quite awake yet, and she took his hand, to ground him. "You're okay. It was just a dream, it's alright -" the young man stiffened once he seemed to realize she was there, freezing up like a startled cat who had just been cornered.

"What - what are you doing here?" he breathed, chest heaving, and she frowned.

"We were just hanging out and I fell asleep and I guess you did too, and when I woke up, you were crying...are you going to be okay?"

"I have no choice," he mumbled, placing an arm over his face, and Furina shook her head, slowly.

"That's not true. It's okay to not be okay."

"Not for me."

"Why not?"

"Because -" he trailed off then, pulling his hand away from the girl, and she let him. ".. because I just - I just have to be. Okay?"

"It doesn't make you weak, you know. Do you think I would be weak if I wasn't okay?"

"..that's different -"

"Why?"

"Because you're human-"

"So what? You think beings that aren't human just have to be these immovable pillars of stability? You feel, just like I do. You have hopes and dreams, and fears, just like I do. You've experienced so many different aspects of life. Maybe- maybe people treated you like you weren't human, but that doesn't mean you aren't, you know. I mean, weren't you saying earlier a heart's a heavy burden? That's part of being human. Sometimes we feel weak and like we're all alone, but - even when we do feel that way, people care."

".. I don't know why they do."

"Do they need a reason to?" Furina challenged gently, tilting her head. "Love never needs a reason. It's just there, regardless of who you are, where you've been, where you're going, what you have done and what you will do. That's what makes it so beautiful. It's always there."

"..then why-"

"??"

"...no, forget about it. I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. I won't push you."

"Even if you did, I wouldn't talk."

"I know, I just -"

"I understand what you're trying to say," he mumbled, sniffling. "...thanks."

"Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to leave?"

"I- I don't know. I don't know," Wanderer replied, almost inaudibly, and she nodded. And then, all of a sudden, he got up and made his way over to the lake nearby, sitting in the water so he was waist deep. He looked awfully small without his hat, Furina realized. Maybe that was why he wore it all the time.

"Come here," he beckoned, and she stared, in confusion.

"Huh?"

"Come here," he repeated, stronger this time. "You wanted to know how you can help me, right? Come sit. Just- I don't know. I don't want to be alone right now, weird as that is."

"Okay," she nodded, making herself comfortable in the water next to him. Minutes passed with Wanderer sitting rigidly, and then suddenly he hissed, clenching at his chest so hard his hands made wrinkles in the fabric.

"Wh- what's the matter?" Furina cried, eyes wide with alarm, and Wanderer shook his head, eyes glossy.

"Hurts. But it shouldn't, I -"

"Look, I don't know what you saw in your dream, but it's clear it's hurting you more than you want to admit. . will ..will the pain pass?"

"It usually does."

"...is it okay if I hold your hand until then?"

For a long moment, he did not speak, and Furina half expected him to say no. But then he shakily removed one of his hands from his chest and linked it with Furina's gloved one, and she paused. "..wait a moment." The ivory haired girl removed her glove then, holding Wanderer's hand with her bare one. His was cool and very smooth, like porcelain, and hers was warm and soft. The contrast was nice, she mused, noting sadly how her friend's hands trembled.

".. please don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't," Furina smiled. "I got 500 years worth of experience in keeping secrets, so no need to worry~" Wanderer sent her the most withering gaze at that, and she startled. "..what?"

"That's not funny," he mumbled, expression sullen. "Your pain, and everything you went through - you shouldn't make fun of it like that."

"Oh," she replied, heart dropping to her feet in shock. "I was just trying to -"

"I know what you were trying to do. Please don't do it at your expense. It isn't helping anyone feel better."

"..okay."

"Good."

A pause.

".. did I say anything weird? When I was sleeping?"

"..you were calling for your mother."

Wanderer stiffened, pain streaking across his face. ".. I see. Ridiculous of me." Furina did not push, but he looked to her, reading the question in her eyes. "..she hasn't been a part of my life for years now, so there's no reason to feel like this."

"..isn't that all the more reason to miss her? If she hasn't been there?"

"Not if she wasn't a good mother," he muttered, eyes dark. "I don't need her anymore."

"People can hurt you and you can still miss them, Wanderer. Those things don't have to be mutually exclusive. I don't - know what all happened so I'm not saying you need to forgive her or let her back in your life, but it's okay to miss her. It's ..okay to mourn what could have been," Furina ventured, looking to the water. "We were meant to be loved and cared for and when we're not, it- it hurts a lot, and it's not weak to be hurt. It's not weak to feel that hole in your heart."

"..it feels that way."

"..yeah. I understand. But I promise you're not weak."

The moon hung high in the sky before he spoke again. "..if nothing else, my life is my own now."

"That it is. You can do whatever you want with it."

"How do you just - seem to know what to say all the time?"

"I don't always, but... I often just speak from my heart. It's hardly led me astray."

"Hm. ...you should get some sleep."

"Will you be okay?"

".. I don't know," he admitted. "I'm.. getting there, though."

"That's good, that's good."

"I don't think I'll be going back to sleep, so just. Don't bother waiting up for me. I may go for a walk to clear my head."

".. alright. Please be safe."

"There isn't much that can hurt me, but I appreciate the concern."

"I know, but-"

"But you still worry."

"Because I care."

"..mhm."

"That's what friends do."

Wanderer turned his head, almost owlishly. "..what?"

"Am I wrong?"

"Well, no, but- you said -"

"That you're my friend, yes," Furina asserted, and he stared, bewildered. "You're nice to me, and you don't mind- well, who I am, yanno? You gotta keep those people close to you."

".. I guess so. I don't think I'm a very good choice, but- if that's what you want."

"It is."

".... okay."

She wasn't sure, but Furina could have sworn Wanderer was smiling a little when she fell asleep.

..of course, he vehemently denied it the next morning.

#furina #wanderer #oh lord the blorbos are going through it #i was like how can i make wanderer sad and then i went nightmare nightmare nightmare NIGHTMARE #i intended for this to be soft and then i was like oh oops! hurt/comfort! #he's a bit less uh. . talkative here than other drabbles im thinking this is earlier on in their friendship #so it will take him a while to fully open up #but he does at least touch on ei and her not being there and gets some comfort so wooo #i may make a continuation of this because i was struggling a little to wrap it up... might mean part 2! wahoo!!! #wanderer uh. he needs a lot of support #i wanna talk more about just. them idk. how they care about each other in my head.

[starflungwaddledee]

Ok, for an AU I'm cooking up, what if my OC Periwinkle (who is actually a fragment of Void Termina's power with the full extent of their memories and abilities, though they are nice, until you physically smack/smack talk/hurt the feelings her friends out of malice (she's able to sense emotions), then she will not hesitate to bonk you with a live explosive (expert with the Bomb copy ability) and "give you a proper lesson on not hurting my friends".) met your Galacta Knight? How would the situation play out? (Maybe Galacta comes to her universe then destroys her friend's cooking utensils, and she decides to spare the vandal no chill at all.)

hmmm i'm not suuuper comfortable answering questions like this, sorry! especially with folks who i don't know well... i don't really know your oc and i'm also not comfortable just being like "well he k-words (the oc)" to strangers who might not find that fun, yanno?

i think you'd have to characterise him in a way that suited you and your story/oc/au/needs, and then decide from there! like... what you described with the cooking utensils... no, my version of him wouldn't do anything like that haha. so you'd need to make your own charactisation where something like that worked!

i'd enjoy being That Person With The Evil Galacta Knight Characterisation and i'm happy to answer general questions about my personal hcs of him for sure, but i certainly don't have any sort of monopoly on making him nasty. i feel like there's actually a significant amount of evidence in canon itself for him to be Not Nice! so you can of course characterise your own version of him however you like too!!

the galacta knight that i personally headcanon (who is mostly present in awtdy au) is simultaneously chill and unchill. if someone minds their business and doesn't get in his way or interrupt his plans- which revolve around kirby and meta knight in awtdy au- he doesn't really care about them. this is kind of evident in the way he overlooks bandee's potential entirely.

however if they are a threat to him or his plans, he deals with them. he also sometimes takes a sadistic interest in figures he can project the things he hates onto. in our headcanons in particular he has a specific hatred of dark matter and mages, if that works for you and gives you anything to chew on! fwiw in the star allies arc of awtdy void termina is never released, because galacta knight lays eyes on hyness for 0.2 seconds before fileting him like a fish.

he's just not really a hesitater. and that takes most folks- who want to talk, who want to monologue, who maybe have the hope this can be sorted out- by enough surprise that he generally gets in there first.

#i answered that other ask bc i thought it was broadly comedic in tone and figured it was proooobably okay to declare that he killed -- #another iteration of *himself* in cold blood. i'm not going to make that claim with folk's ocs or sonas. that's the part i'm uneasy with. #that said i do always enjoy hearing about ocs and aus and stuff in general! periwinkle sounds a lot of fun!! #please be aware that most asks that ask me “what would your evil galacta knight do with X problem or person” it is most likely #1) he doesn't care or 2) he kills them. there's little in between. sorry if that's not fun!! #also i say “mostly" in awtdy au because he might.... he might appear in starstruck's story as well #as a t(h)reat. #if you noticed those last 2 tags congrats but also sorry!!! 😃👍 #asks #galacta knight #also bc i'm overthinking this now i hope this doesn't come off as rude!! i'm just a little uncomfy speculating with other folks ocs! #even with permission. if i don't know you and your oc well it's just hard for me!! interactions or qs about starstruck in this scenario-- #would be easier bc she's not... idk. she's not going to behave in an unforgivable way you know!!! she'd apologise to the kitchen utensils!!

[orcelito]

Went skimming thru late trimax For Reasons, got caught up reading the Legato fight, realized things about the fight that I never had before & went WOW, I kind of want to write an analysis post right now!

Felt the same kind of insanity grip me, however momentarily, that fueled all my analysis posts however many months ago. Too tired to actually word things coherently right now, but...

I May or may not have a full(ish?) analysis of the Legato & Vash fight a la style of This post analyzing the Trigun: Multiple Bullets fight that got unexpectedly kind of popular. People seemed to really appreciate that one, & I even had some ppl saying it could be cool if I did that for others?

So. Legato fight. Maybe. Feel free to remind me later if u see no mention of it again for over a week lol

#speculation nation #ive been wanting to go back into reading the manga again #ive only slowly (VERY slowly) been puttering along with where i am in my fic #for research purposes with the fic. #i do want to go back through the manga bc i STILL havent done a full reread of it #ive just reread so many different parts of it for assorted research that im probably getting to some 10 or so reads total lmao #i wanna reread it in full tho front to back to sort out any stray details and remember any timeline things i might have slightly skewed. #the problem with reading the manga though. is that every fucking time i look at it. i am consumed by a drive to research EVERY little thing #so me reading turns into 'hm thats interesting. that reminds me of this thing that i know happens in volume 8. let me just check that now--' #and i end up so dreadfully distracted every damn time. bc i end up with all my wires crossed and my attention pointing a million ways #it's exhausting. and so i havent been reading the manga outside of random research dives. #im very good at that. i know every volume of the manga and can find Anything within 1 or 2 mins (at the Most) #which is also kind of the problem lol. fingers in too many pies. so many things to think about. #if i get back into Actually rereading the manga tho you can bet ur ASS ill find more things to make posts about #every time i open up the manga i find new things that i could analyze. #i just havent. bc i dont have time. but. ykno what. maybe i Could get back into it... #remind me later. this is one of my favorite fucking fights with my favorite Fucking panels #and i realized smth about the shit Vash is doing that was making me lose my MINDDDD #later tho. ive been sleep deprived today. and it is time for me to rest. #& yea yea ITNL is still the main focus. but idk i have such a mind for details and i remember So many things about the manga #i wanna show that off to people again. and thus. Analyses!!! :D #later. goodnight for now

[dailypolishstriders]

Day 10 ! polish icons

#homestuck #homestuck fanart #dave strider #reksio #daily polish striders #i loved that little dog so much as a child he is so silly #might make a part 2 to this with Dirk and whoever else idk we'll see

[louismygf]

just recently watched this is us with my college friends

#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭 #the louis clips were so not enough #ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add) #one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭 #the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭 #my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol #anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior #i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth #my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it #UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only? #but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼 #anyw back to my review. #simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off #im from the future i Know things #<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart #i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭 #it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol #they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭 #they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd #i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think) #OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious #didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔 #maybe... i am too much of a hater #i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔 #the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭 #<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/

[apollo-cackling]

honestly I might just be a little too polite/socially anxious for this game. a soft fail-/endstate I've found myself in fairly often is having wiped all my enemies close by with just allies/neutral folks surrounding me and I don't like declaring wars dhsjklhag (happened to my Liu Bei and Yan Baihu campaigns + nearly happened to my Sun Jian campaign before I tipped into King rank and everyone started declaring on me anyway)

#my rambles #although the Yan Baihu campaign was kinda cowardice on my part bc I was bottled towards the southeast with Sun Ce 1) already having taken- #vast swathes of the southwest 2) friendly towards me and man I don't want to go to war with that faction I've played them I know- #-how stupid powerful they can be. also I just like 'em. like I know this is total war and all but I like 'em I want to make friends hjdkshd #cao cao's to my north and I could start expanding that way but idk if I want to get into the central plains yet #tw3k #I might need to turn my campaign difficulty a little higher?

[epitheta]

⠀ > M5 - 21 - 2022

if i can give their boss impractical add-ons that could constitute as factory hazards, i can probably also let them have some

#[is.png] #[2022] #[cf.tot.zip] #[i.tot] #[m.tot] #[d.tot] #|| > okay the details might be hard to make out now but it's just. the notable stuff at least: #(slaps on the energy circuit borderline somewhere on the shoulders) #dredger gets those on its head though. the waterborne is supposed to be represented instead on the shoulders but ehh... #in which: magpie glass on inspector's eye and the ice cube ++ ''3'' blood cost on melter's midsection #(along with the ice cube of course!) #inspector gets 1 dangly earring because it's the 1st one (and two more hanging from its hover component due to the energy conduit gimmick) #melter gets 2 . that are somehow not melted off. there are two of them anyways #and dredger gets none BUT . it was supposed to be in its cane thats uhhm. i got too lazy to make sure you can see it's ''three'' energy #IDK idk idk... im in bodily pain i need to doodle things lest i have to be conscious of it ! #dredger's got a bad left ++ some bandages(?) to cover up a few exposed parts on the arms. rusting away rusting away... #none of that helps much but it's Something alright ! #idk. idk. idk. on my way to give everyone silly little meaningless nothings out of the love in my heart

[coolcattime]

oh dude! thanks for getting me into yttd! I don’t think I would’ve given much thought to the visual novel genre games without having played that one. visual novels are fun and cool and I’ve now expanded my games with a new type!

Omg you are so so welcome!!! YTTD is still such a big hyperfixation for me and I'm always super happy to get people into the things I'm interested in!!! (I'm trying to get more of the irl friends to play it too but persuading people is hard)

Honestly I do just really like visual novels as a genre, I think because I really like stories and the mystery visual novels I've played have always just really drawn me in. Genuinely Ace Attorney and Danganronpa are both so great and I think they were fully there to shove me into full hyperfixation for YTTD when my best friend decided we were gonna play it (not weird, we play a lot of games together, especially visual novels).

But I'm like so glad you liked YTTD cause, well I have such a hyperfixation on it, it's unreal and I'm actively planning some aus with it (which is a bit funny because I had originally watched upto the first trial and didn't think much of it, and when playing myself was very unsure up until the practice vote but then like BOOM the practice vote scene happened and I loved it and immediately wanted to create an au for it).

And I'm super happy that you're checking out visual novels in general! I definitely recommend Ace Attorney and Danganronpa if you want kinda mystery focused puzzle games

#ask #licantropa #im planning to replay the chapter 1 part 2 of yttd to plan the mianite au since the manga rearranges things #and while I'm definitely using sone of the manga scenes the order in the game is a little more logical #and idk i might post a snippet of my oc au as well since i like writing my ocs #but im seriously so so glad that you like yttd #its so great and makes me just so obsessed

[autistic-shaiapouf]

FINALLY bought con tickets 👁👁

#and also dropped a lot on paying credit cards but that's neither here nor there; i am. gonna have to go to like 5 stores on Sunday #I'm prepping my fabric to be put through my sewing machine and I'll finish off a lot with that #nearly done with the forewings and most of the coat; the hindwings are another beast but so long as i actually sit and work on them. #we should be good 👀 it's all gonna work out.. #also may have screwed up my hotel booking by booking check in on day one of the actual con #but i only have 2 outfits so first day partial and casual might not be a bad idea anyways #idk when it opens but i know each day runs until 2am lmao; the drive there is still making me a little nervous #but it's interstates so i should be okay for the most part; just gotta pay attention to the exits bc if i get turned around again #I'll start crying 😭 i can do it but i start shaking when I'm making maneuvers i dont have enough time to think about 😭 #anyways. could be a very casual pouf on day 1 if i felt like it.. choices choices... #shai speaks

[gentlethorns]

fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore

#she bork #tbd #like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is #insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not #hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a #fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!! #what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on #my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just #gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day #w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis #but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't #mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like #eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or #unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere #else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting #into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be #right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of #waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin #care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying #to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i #have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of #supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some #expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but #i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it #always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just #not doing it for me anymore #ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a #sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not #particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun

[xaykwolf]

My final for the class I have this semester is a paper wherein we’re supposed to act as though we’re a licensed psychologist called into an organization to consult on a problem and give recommendations. My prof suggested a former prac site because we’re likely to know quite a bit about the day-to-day operations and problems that grunt workers face. And well, after the last year I just had, there’s no way I’m touching that without a hazmat suit and years of therapy (haha irony), so this assignment’s really not the place to do any of that processing.

No...instead I chose RT. And I gotta say, it’s been pretty cathartic to type out the history of the company, to see how it developed in its entirety, the good, the bad, and the ugly (though it’s been mostly those last two, even with a nice bit of perspective on what I liked about the company). I get to talk about the ethical and diversity issues next, which is gonna be a treat and a half for my poor brain, and then how I’d go about evaluating the company, how I’d conceptualize everything put together, then give recommendations. I’m already 4 full pages into the 12-15 requirement, and it’s not due till December 1st :b

#Xayk Yaps #Xayk Hates College #The History Of The Company Alone Took Two Full Damn Pages Lol I Did NOT Hold It Back #The Example She Gave Us Was Only 11 Pages Without Cover And Reference Pages So I'm Just...Going Through The Bullet Points She Gave Us #And I'm Following The RUBRIC (Blakey...) To Make Sure I'm Thorough #Cuz She Literally Said In Class That As Long As We Hit All The Bullet Points It Didn't Practically Matter What The Length Comes Out To #(Granted This Is A Doctorate Program...Answering The Bullet Points Fully Takes At Least A Page Each And There're Ten Of Them Lol) #I'm Gonna Try And Get Most Of What's Left Done Tomorrow Since On Tuesday I'm Gonna Get To Hang Out With My Best Friend In The Whole World #I Wanna Make Sure I Don't Have To Worry About The Paper While We're Hanging So I Can Make The Most Of The Little Time I'll Have With Him #He And His Family Are Sick (Two Small Kids Does NOT A Sanitary Environment Make Lol) So IDK How Long I'll Get To Hang With Him #Who Knows? The Kids Might Be Well Enough To Go To School And His Wife Will Probably Be At Work #So The House'll Be Nice And Quiet (And I'm Free To Swear UGH Lol) And We Can Chat For As Long As He's Up To It #Anyway I'm Not Counting On Having Tuesday For The Paper #And I Fly Back To Chicago On Wednesday So I Doubt I'll Get Much Done Then Either #At Most I'll Be Saving A Single Bullet Point For Wednesday So That I Can Bang It Out On The Plane Or Train And Crash Otherwise Lol #I've Gotta Get My Rest For THE MIGHTY NEIN REUNION PART 2 MOTHERFUCKERSSSSSSSSSSS

[nomaishuttle]

bedtime i surpose.. i loves you all mwhamwhamaha. ok bye

#now for my cursory talking in the tags for 30.minutes #sighhh. i wish i could just copy my little mini globe and put it likee. online.. i had a thang t umm. draw on a globe digitally b4.. but i #cant remember what it ws called sobsobsosbs...ill try n find it tmrw ig... #but umm saurrr yeha. #ig rly i dont have that much 2 talk abt......sry i thot id have more. teehee #i rly wanna try n likeee. do a worldbuilding project... but bc i think it will be good for me to go insane crazy abt something for a while #might crack open world anvil. but also its sooo sucks without a membership... #could always just make Oh so many google docs... #bc now ive got likee. th sort of layout of the planet... ive got pics of my Orb i need to get likeee. more.. all angles even #its judt hard bc like. i have t be super duper careful abt shere i hold it #LEST the devil. #could maybe likee. cut it super carefully??? n lay it flat 2 get a good pic... idk tho sobbing #but ermm. ya :] #now i wanna try n design their solar system...... idk how likee modern theyll be #th people. who live on this planet.. so idk if theyll even know anyfink abt their solr system #but still. itll be good for establishing like. day/night cycles + what the sky looks like.. ALSO i need to decide on like. how big the #planet is... #but hluld i go for that first Orrrr should i go for like.. political/cultural borders first... hrm hrm hrm much t think abt #i also need to decide on biomes/climate for each part of th workd.. smiles #ik if yr likee. writing. you arent suppsoed to worry abt this stuff too early #but i havent written since likee..2018-19 and im not abt to start... this is just mein special little project!!!! #thank gd my talkatice nature came back now im all tuckered out. which would be a SUPER rude thing 2 say if i ws hanging out with my friend #tucker. i dont have a friend named tucker but if i did that wouldbe been a shitty thing 2 say to him.... #but ermm ya. if nybody wants to brainstorm random little worldbuilding stuff... smiles at u #my dream is to get SUPER deep into it... with conlangs and astuff .. but i also have a super duper short attention span with projects like #this. no matter how much i beatmyself up over it... #but its ok... gngngngn i love you all beautiful people in my phone :]

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite