#i might have gotten some names mixed up bc i genuinely do not know most of this roster -- pls lmk if this is the case !

[pinkhairswagtourney]

say hello to our 64 niche pink haired characters !!!

after several weeks of deliberation , we've finalized our lineup of characters ! starting on 12 / 17 / 2023 , we'll begin voting to figure out who is the best niche pink haired character of all time !!!

ROUND ONE MATCHUPS

PART ONE - 12 / 17 Kanae Shinjou - Teekyuu VS Misa Maruno - Urahara Koharu Mitsurugi - Argonavis VS Kei Sarukawa - Charisma House Christelle de Sarnez - When the Third Wheel Strikes Back VS Penelope Eckart - Villains Are Destined to Die Jessi Shi - Balala the Fairies VS Riri Hitotsuyanagi - Assault Lily  Kohane Hatoya - Anima Yell! VS Aguri Sakurano - Gamers! Takara Utashiro - Fairy Ranmaru VS Dr. Doom Jazz - Paradise Killer Deana del Rio - Double Decker! Doug & Kirill VS Bianchi Law - Helios Rising Rose - Mysterious Joker VS Misha - Pita-Ten

PART TWO - 12 / 18 Leo Saionji - King of Prism VS Maasa Shirahone - Cute High Earth Defense Club Alinua - Aurora VS Seren Marsh - Serendipity Lovrina - Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness VS Nico - 100% Orange Juice Miyoi Okunoda - Touhou VS Caro Ru Lushe - Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Liza Wight - Professor Layton VS Kiko Kayanuma - Darker than Black Shinobu Inuyose - Dig Delight Direct Drive DJ VS Chihaya Anon - Bandori Chiester 45 - Umineko VS Juna Crawford - Kiseki Kady Grant - The Illuminae Files VS Peri Dubois - Entropic Float

PART THREE - 12 / 19 Claves - Eternal Sonata VS Hiori Hirahara - Blue Reflection Lavinia Asimov - Riordan VS Altea Bellerose - Lovestruck Luna Yumizuki - Cardfight!! Vanguard VS Yayoi Kusakabe - High-Rise Invasion Miyu Sakurada - Dig Delight Direct Drive DJ VS Kaoruko Moeta - Comic Girls Zigfried von Schroeder - Yu-Gi-Oh! VS Sakura Kiyashiki - Assassination Classroom Presea Combatir - Tales of Symphonia VS Tsukumo - Nanbaka Nene Romanova - Bubblegum Crisis VS Leilani - Reverse 1999 Reona West - Prism Paradise VS Zizel - Witch’s Heart

PART FOUR - 12 / 20 Mercymorn - The Locked Tomb VS Selene Ambrose - Midnight Train Tsubasa Hamori - Ensemble Girls VS Yamine Renri - UTAU Bluebell Candy - Magical Girl Raising Project VS Akoyo Gero - Cute High Earth Defense Club Maria Cadenzavna Eve - Symphogear VS Suzuki Miyu - You and I Are Polar Opposites Ryuu Zaou - Cute High Earth Defense Club VS Ashu Yuta - B-Project Chizuru Yakumo - Ensemble Girls VS Aries Spring - Astra Lost in Space Mangetsu Kohinata - Granbelm VS Azumi Shiratori - Nyanko Days Araya Endo - Assault Lily VS Amy - Grand Chase

#pink hair swag tourney niche edition #round one #i might have gotten some names mixed up bc i genuinely do not know most of this roster -- pls lmk if this is the case ! #i'm so excited for this tourney !!!

[severely-mentally-ill]

Akdjaisjs okay

Chan doesnt often get to go out with you but when he does, he makes the wait worth it. Anywhere you wanna go, doesnt matter if its the place down the street you have to an hour for to get in, hot pot where he grills the meat for you, or a random fast food place where the two of you are the only ones there that late. He will also be the one to order and ask for something if you want it. He wants you to feel taken care of since you take such good care of him while he's wrapped up in the studio and hiding out practically

Felix will do the most random things with you. Tell him that you're going to a discount store looking for candles after a date? Next 45 minutes will be spent sniffing candles in the middle of the aisle and seeing which scents the two of you like. You kinda wanna roam around the grocery store bc you're craving something but can't figure out what? He'll push the cart while just saying whatever he might be thinking, be it weird food combos or just something the two of you havent had in a while or gotten to try yet

Arcade dates with jeongin are the best. Shitty food and soju once the two of you have spent too much money on games. Getting cheap stuffed animals unless you go to the nice arcade that has funko pops, k pop and anime prizes and other things you might actually want. Naming the stuffed animals you gather on the dates after him and the rest of the boys, and the two of you will only refer to them as their respective names

Hyunjin loves going to craft stores with you. Even if you dont specifically paint or draw, he will 100% ask your opinion on different colors and medium types. Take him to the section of the store that has supplies for you as well though, he will love it and point out different things and ways to use them that you might not have thought about.

Seungmin and nights in are a holy match. You both pick out a couple of movies, maybe ones you wanna re watch or a new one he saw the preview for awhile ago that finally came out. Swapping the sheets for fresh ones, one of you starting dinner while the other gets a nice shower and once they're done, you go get in as they finish it. Making sure to have it all set up before you sit down and decide on what movue to start with

Changbin cant help himself from wanting to go shopping with you, one of his main love languages is quality time and he will 100% just, take the bag from the counter not matter how hard you try to fight him on it. Often making silly suggestions for some of the most outrageous pieces the two of you find but also offering genuine advice if he finds you getring frustrated. He prides himself on knowing what you like, if you have any issues with certain fabrics, what you think are fashion abominations etc

Jisung and pottery are a better mix than you might expect. Going to the classes or workshops is always so fun with him. The pieces might not look the best but they're made with such love and joy that neither of you mind. When they get fired and you have to go pick them up, he makes sure to send you a text between schedules to remind you of the time that you need to be there. Mismatched bowls, cups and plates sit in your cupboard as a sign of love. He would sob if he or one of the boys accidentally broke one of the pieces you made for him.

sorry these are so long akxjajdjs -🦇

I fucking love all of these. Especially the Jeongin and Hyunjin ones.

Going to an arcade with Jeongin is legit my new dream, and I will do anything to make it come true. I will sell my best friend, if it meant I can go on an arcade date with Jeongin. I will fight all three of the demogorgons from Stranger Things if it meant I could go on that date. I will fight the coven from season 3 of American Horror Story, including both the witches and warlocks and Michael Langdon and his army if it meant I could go on that date. I will fight the nemesis from the Resident Evil Movies, with Alice and the other victims of the t-virus by his side. I will legit do anything to go on that date with Jeongin.

The date with Chan tho. I love it. It'd be so cute. Going to a fast food restaurant when it's raining and eating in the parking lot while giggling and laughing at everything and feeding each other really cutesy.

Taking Felix to the grocery store while you just talk on and on about what type of food you're craving, and what he's thinking you might like but in reality he's just secretly looking at you with the biggest heart eyes.

BACK TO THE ARCADE WITH JEONGIN. Playing those games with him that require two people and you two just being competitive in a friendly and loving way and giggling about the the entire time. And then playing different types of claw machines to win each other cute little plushies and then exchanging them in the car. Then after, getting some cheap shitty food and, same as with Chan, feeding it to each other in the car while discussing the different names you're gonna give to the plushies you two got for each other. When you both get back home, you and him sit on the couch and watch some sort of kdrama or anime while Jeongjn cuddles into your side. Maybe at the end of the night, when you two are laying in bed, I turns into either a cute little make out session or just Jeongin laying on his back with you on your side, pressing kisses on his neck that cause him to giggle while also tilting his head to the side to allow you more room.

Going to the craft store with Hyunjin and helping him pick out paint while he helps pick out whatever it I you use. I personally sew, crochet, paint, and draw. Imagine doing whatever it is you do and Hyunjin drawing or painting you while you do it. OR OR OR, YOU DRAW/PAINT HIM WHILE HE DRAWS/PAINTS YOU. Omg it'd be so cute.

Night in with Seungmin where you two binge watch a shit ton of movies, eat a shit ton of junk food, and just laugh for hours on end. Or, you end up making him watch a horror movie where he ends up hiding his face in your neck through most of the movie.

Shopping at a mall with Changbin, and making him try on ridiculous clothing to try and find a matching outfit for the two of you. And then taking him to the food court and getting burnt mall food while discussing all the things you got. Omg, imagine taking him to Hot Topic or Spencer's and making him try on the different crop tops and shit they have there. Or taking him to Barns And Nobles and buying kpop albums.

Jisung and pottery class. . . Bora.exe has stopped working. I've always wanted to take a pottery class, and doing it with Jisung would literally be perfect. The matching dishes would be so cute. He would buy a display case just to store all your guys's creations and show it off everytime someone new would come over or he'd just post it all over Instagram. If one of the boys or him did break one of your gifts to him, he would not stop bawling for hours on end. Like Felix with the vial of blood, he would never forgive himself. Let's be honest, he probably almost got into a major fight with the one who broke it.

#🦇 anon <3 #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #skz #skz fluff #skz x y/n #skz x reader #skz x you

[grammarpedant]

verso plays hollow knight

too tired to come up with a cleverer title. have to put thoughts down before they slip from my fingers like so much sand on one of those windy beach days where you can’t blink the grit out of your eyes faster than it gets blown back in

i’m like 4 hours into the game

the first sign that i saw explaining that i could use soul to Focus and regenerate health said something like “to higher beings only” which is,, an interesting turn of phrase

possibly because my attention was on the wrong parts of the message that sign gave me, i got the misplaced impression that i could only Focus in front of those signs, and died repeatedly over the course of an hour because i did not Focus. what a heavy-handed metaphor for my adhd!!

i only figured out i could do it wherever bc someone who was watching me play shouted “focus, verso!!” about it, and explained once they realized how it must have sounded XD the adhd metaphor is now textual

i’ve spent the last 1.5 hours of play making so many rounds of the place for cash reasons that i feel like i’ve memorized the layout, before grudgingly remembering that i don’t have spatial processing skills and open the damn map

oh yeah, i got a map. met the map man, he seems delightful

so far i have met: village Elder, Quirrell, map man, map man’s wife, the stag beetle, the trinket seller who i woke up from a dream in the bottom-most section of this map area

i don’t remember any NPC names except for Quirrell, who so far has stood in the Temple of the Black Egg and not said or done all that much

i might be forgetting someone

oh! I have rescued three little grub babies so far. i usually have mixed feelings about cute things but I was surprised by the strength of my reaction to these lil guys and their plight. i’m genuinely upset that i can’t rescue that one grub who’s sitting on a ledge just out of reach in a main area; if i jump close it perks up, and the next moment i’m falling away and it cries out in the most devastating, despondent way i’ve ever heard in my life

i’m in a sort of fond but also weirded out grey area with the way grandpa grub throws money at me for rescuing them. they don’t say anything to me. but the grubs seem happy to be back in their holes so i guess that’s all that matters

it took me 2-3 hours to work up the courage (and necessary skills) to challenge any of the “bosses” available to me at this point. I say “bosses” because the giant beetle guys with clubs also trigger boss music, but they respawn when i sit down on a bench

sitting down on benches. after i die my lil Knight kinda seems to wake up at the last bench, almost as if they’d just fallen asleep there and taken a lil nap

i’m aware that australian aboriginal beliefs are in some way related to or an inspiration for THK, so i’m keeping an eye out for dreams and sleeping motifs

speaking of, when i woke up the trinket seller he talked about what a strange dream it was that took him down there. he had orange puffs of cloud coming out of his head, and was scolding someone for using their nail clumsily in his dream

he said i wielded my nail with obvious skill (paraphrasing). where the fuck did the knight learn to use a nail? did someone train them??

it’s whack that when i die i leave behind a ghost (shade?) that hates me and wants to kill me a second time

of the “boss” bugs that i’ve met, i’ve (repeatedly) killed the two giant beetles with clubs, killed the weird flying grub mother who bounces around and bursts into mindless flies (she had a name but i don’t remember it), met the armadillo fire-artillery bug, and been killed by the boss in the area that i’ve been avoiding because it’s marked by an ominous bug mask.

i’ve gotten pretty good at understanding the rhythms and cues of the giant beetles with clubs. they’ve become familiar to me: huffing and heavy, an air of good-natured importance, as if there’s something here they’re proud to protect even if they don’t know anymore what. they’re kind of easy to give the run-around to, actually, for all that it’s terrifying when they charge, when they swing their club at you. they almost seem to be good sports about it when i back the hell up and take a breathing moment to heal.

what the fuck happened?

oh, also i met Myra, the humming miner

fun video game brain things continue under cut

impulsive adhd momence: i walk into the chamber with the weird grub queen (i have the impression that it’s a queen’s room, idk why). i see her sleeping. i’m like, i can tell that when i hit her with my nail she’s going to wake up and a boss battle will start. i better carefully explore this place before i- oh fuck i hit the one button my brain is rigged to hit for Every situation that i needed Not to hit

so i died pretty ignominiously that round

i’m realizing i have a WILDLY aggressive, haphazard play style, in a game that seems to reward patience, coordination, and good sense of timing

learn to do better? nah. im really looking forward to those little badges that will upgrade my combat abilities. PLEASE let me go ham, game, i would like more defense (thinking tactically) and i would LOVE a bigger, sweepier weapon strike hitbox so i can flail with wild abandon at multiple enemies simultaneously (thinking with my adhd)

i really enjoy grinding through that one big well full of platforms and spiky white bugs and mindless flies. hard to explain, just feels like being Let Loose on the chaos

turns out my brain is Extremely selective about what new visual information it processes, especially under stress. it took me maybe an hour or two of playing before i realized that orange sparks meant i had hit a target; i just literally didn’t see the orange except in specific cases where my brain failed to erase it from my mental view, and it wasn’t until i understood that yes the orange is always connected with me hitting a target that i could see the orange Every time

i also can’t really “see” bugs’ bodies once i’ve killed them until they’ve come to a rest (at which point a part of me thinks they can be picked up to eat later ???) which, in the one big well mentioned above, meant that the first time i really “saw” a bug body it was from one of those flies, spinning and bouncing past me so inexplicably that i said “what the fuck was that” out loud

#verso liveblogs thk #the hollow knight #adhd #could very loosely call this 'meta' #actuallyadhd

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''white rabbit'' by egypt central

[saoirsetm]

hey y’all ! i’m kat and we’re FINALLY opening ?!? i’m so hyped, you don’t even know. i’m a double leo Trying to survive video lectures in a noisy house who loves dark chocolate and 80% of the kpop releases so far this year ( stream feel good by fromis_9, it’s such a cute bop ! ) i’m also a cat mom to my almost fourteen year old babies who are still like energetic kittens, so ask for pics and you shall receive DSLKGJ but without further ado, here’s my girl who’s gonna prove that hindsight is INDEED 20/20, so this is gonna be fun:

✧ ˖ * ° ><> ╱  abigail cowen,  cis female,  she/her  —  look  who’s  fresh  from  the  ferry,  aren’t  you  SAOIRSE LEARY  ?  your  eroda  brochure  says  you’re  TWENTY-THREE  and  that  you’re  currently  residing  in  MARMOTON  .  your  favourite  tourist  attraction  to  hang  around  is  ERODIAN BEACH  ,  and  the  locals  around  these  ports  would  describe  you  as  INQUISITIVE  &  INTREPID,  STUBBORN  &  IMPULSIVE  .  your  resting  fish  face  really  gives  off  LONG HAIR BLOWN BACK BY THE OCEAN BREEZE, LATE NIGHTS SPENT PLOTTING THE NEXT GREAT VOYAGE, RED LIPSTICK IMPRINTED ON A MUG OF TEA  ,  and  i’m  a  big  fan  of  the  VINTAGE CELTIC KNOT NECKLACE  you  seem  to  always  be  attached  to.  well,  if  you  see  the  minister  this  morning;  make  sure  you  head  on  home  as  quick  as  possible,  you  never  know  what  bad  luck  he  could  bring.  ╱  ooc;  kat,  23,  she/her,  ast.

tw: needles ( tattoo mention ), cancer mention, death mention

miss saoirse...... oof

GDFLSJL where do i begin with her honestly ??

full name is saoirse eve leary, affectionately called cece by her family since she was young and runs with it as her nickname !

born and raised in cork, ireland with two siblings, a working class father and Slightly upper middle class mother

her childhood wasn’t like, Majorly eventful; she was considered a bit of a tomboy which isn’t a surprise bc she’s always been a bit of a spirited, adventurous girl, has the odd nomadic moment strike her and loves to travel

had a SUPER close relationship with her maternal grandmother before she passed a few years back, still has a close one with her grandfather and paternal grandmother as they’re still living

is a big family girl overall, so much so that she’s eagerly awaiting the day she gets to be the cool aunt

had a decent cluster of pals over the years that’s likely dwindled due to everyone going their separate ways after high school

saoirse Did go to uni between her travels — and graduated — and has aspirations of becoming an anthropologist to explore other cultures and meet new people/understand them

which.. obviously ain’t happening now LFSGJGF rip

came to eroda partially bc it seems like such a pretty and quaint place, partially to explore its “ myth ” that you can never leave; her naturally curious ass questions the whole thing, at least in the sense that there’s no way to challenge your supposed fate on the island and won’t deny entertaining some conspiracy theories around the mystery

she still doesn’t understand that.. yeah, she Literally is stuck here for the rest of her life now, probably because she hasn’t made a Real attempt to put that to the test, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it FDSLKJDS

anyways she came here solo ( more than likely ) and has enjoyed her time getting to know the locals and other visitors, taking in the scenery, etc

probably took up a part-time job at sally’s tavern to cover her expenses since she lives in marmoton and it ought to be close enough for her to get to gfjlsdg

personality and everything else

a sociable, ( relatively ) fearless ginger with an eclectic taste in music and a profound appreciation for pastries.. 

despite being all about cleaner eating habits and lowering her sugar intake, she takes a cheat day or week wherever she can LSDGFJK

parties, game nights, etc, you name it ?? she’s there !

kinda competitive while we’re bringing up games and such, but she’s not about the whole sore winner/loser thing — rather she’ll groan and sulk a little before moving on

like i said before, loves to travel, loves pretty places in general so prepare yourself for an abundance of pictures on her insta feed of where she’s been or where she wants to go

loyal as hell, but she has her limit if you misuse the trust that comes with it

she’s just v wholesome and has a mix of small town city/endlessly curious energy with a sprinkle of being the life of the party……. kinda

however, she’s the most ?? hard to place person all the same

that feeling of freedom that comes with her exploring and all makes her a little hard to tie down; she doesn’t plan on staying in eroda ( which is unfortunate for her considering.... fglsdk ) as she has more to accomplish and see

very much does her own thing and doesn’t wanna hear any criticism for it

as if she’s that out of line DLJGDSLK but still

always wants to try new things, no matter how dumb they might be; except for anything that’s a Legitimate death sentence or is.. a GENUINELY dumb idea, she has enough common sense to know what Not to do KSGFDJDS

has little tattoos on her wrist and behind her left ear for her Favourite trips/symbols/whatever and her family, will let y’all know what they’d be whenever i figure them out since i’m so damn picky with these things

a Big supporter for buying/investing locally, has little trinkets and such to prove it

in fact, she has a collection of thrifted or vintage clothes from her travels and back home, and a chest full of cute jewelry she switches between daily

one piece she wears all the time — only parts with it when she sleeps — is the celtic knot pendant mentioned in her app that’s become something of an heirloom on her mom’s side of the family !

she has the cutest irish lilt in my mind, kinda the same as miss ronan’s and aisling bea’s

really loves her freckles, partially bc i love her freckles and my own :(

tea > coffee, but she loves coffee-flavoured things; bring her a peppermint or camomile tea as her shift winds down or.. idk, just because, and she’ll be forever indebted to you fldjgs

loves to hang out by the water in her free time — she loves the scent and sounds that comes with it, it’s one of the few places where she can put her mind to rest for a bit

the sound of rain hitting a rooftop is her perfect sleep soundtrack

kinda wants to adopt a pet, but doesn’t wanna leave them if she goes on an excursion where they can’t come with her :(

baths with epsom salts, candles that smell like lavender or something just as pleasant and calming, etc during a night in soothes the hell out of her soul

top three products she has in her bag at all times, besides personal info and her phone ? lip balm, a powder spf and mints FGLGKSD

btw.. miss ginger hair and freckles will probably gasp at anyone going out with no spf on them and scold tf out of them bc ‘ hello, melanoma ?? sunburn ?!? ’

wanted connections

childhood pal(s) she’s bumped into: reunited by chance, cece’s glad she has a couple of people she knows to keep her grounded when her mind runs wild at what Might happen when she decides to try her hand at leaving

cousin(s), other relatives: idk, figured it’d be fun for her to have a family member or two running around and not realizing the other relative is the Only one they’ll see in person from here on out

best pal(s) in eroda: someone she’s taken to since arriving, likely spending their free-time eating pastries on the beach, talking shit over tea, little market dates, going to the rainzone half-drunk and trying to rope each other into new things

opposites attract.. of sorts sfdlgkj: basically just a traveler meeting a local who’s never been off eroda, telling all about their ( quite limited ) excursions and bonding in other areas over time !

hook-ups, fwbs.... ENEMIES with benefits?? idk, point is the girl’s probably gotten laid since arriving, it’s all a matter of the situation that fits your muse(s) best FHGSDKJ

roommate: she lives in marmoton, likely in a rental of sorts, and i can’t see her living alone given the situation on the island ( though i’ve viewed her as the type to live alone in a space for one and a half people any other time tbh ). so she has just One and they make the arrangement work ! depending on their personalities and such, we’ll figure out how well they get along Exactly, if at all

ex ??: the girl’s bi so y’all can toss anyone at her for this one as well ! question marks bc i was thinking it’d be an on-and-off thing but maybe not come the time i post this intro LSGKD. basically they were seeing each other for a few months, she fell hard Quick/they moved kinda fast bc they were vibing and they would distance themselves upon realizing this — though i see cece giving them distance bc she knows they need it rather than needing it herself. if it IS on-and-off, they’re definitely off rn and treading lightly ( though she finds it hard to stray and hates things not being fully resolved no matter what happens ?? ), so all it’s a bit angsty regardless of how it goes dfgkljsdg

fellow mystery fiend: someone please fuel her curiosity to the max and try to crack the impossible case of eroda’s captive capabilities with her.. and proceed to watch true crime shows with her when that clearly goes to shit SDFKLJ

older sibling or mentor dynamic: someone to look out for her/teach her some things to help fully support herself/give her advice when she probably needs it most.. idk, i just like the idea of someone becoming a stand-in relative type of friend to her 

just give her someone to confide in, to swim at night with, stargaze and all that cute shit, be it platonically or otherwise !

she’s not gonna click with everyone and that’s fine, BUT maybe they run in the same social circles and cece thinks they seem nice enough, but they never really talk amongst themselves ?? just a case of awkwardly starting from scratch and seeing where it takes us !

#eroda.intro #╰ ✨ . ❪ 𝐖𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐒 ↝ kat chats ｡ #tw needles #tw cancer #tw death #i think?? that's all the triggers here? #i really hope it is anyways :/ i'm bad for spotting them sometimes when they're vague mentions #anyways FINALLY did it !! #now to make my theme even Remotely presentable in the next half hour GLDFJS

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

#glitterati.intro #excited to be here :~)

[hrina]

L’Amato (Il Ritorno II)

PAIRING: Alex/Y/N RATING: R WORD COUNT: 16k REQUESTED: highly lol !

hello gorgeous ppl!!! i am BACK with PART 2 of il ritorno! the first part was so well-loved and i honestly wanted to cry bc of how amazing u all were :’) i hope u love part 2 just as much, if not more! if u do, here’s where u can leave me some feedback, and here’s my masterlist :-) enjoy!!!!

il ritorno (part 1) / il devoto (part 3) 

It’s a few weeks later, and things are actually going pretty well.

You check on Alex nearly every night. It’s become such a regular thing that he actually comes to expect it. When the house is silent and everyone else is asleep, you creep downstairs and join him in the living room. He’s always waiting for you, flashing you a small smile (one that makes your stomach flip) and sitting up so that there’s enough room for you to plop down beside him. You talk, and giggle, and touch—a lot.

Alex is constantly brushing your hair behind your ears, and you’re always there to catch his hand quickly and lace your fingers together. Whenever you say something particularly endearing, he presses a firm kiss to your knuckles, as though he’s trying to sear his affections into your skin.

You also cuddle into him sometimes (for the most part, you’re too nervous to initiate it), snuggling against his side as he wraps an arm around you. You both whisper to each other as your eyes stare at the doorway, looking forward inattentively. And Alex will sometimes—if he’s feeling remarkably affectionate that night—litter kisses across the crown of your head.

You enjoy the small exchanges. You usually head back up to your room after Alex falls asleep (though he tries to stay awake for as long as possible, until he’s drowsy and saying things that make absolutely no sense). He whispers to you that he sleeps much better when you’re there, with less disruptions and fewer nightmares, and the confession has your heart expanding to three times its normal size.

He’s started to do some work around the house, claiming that if he was going to be staying there, the least he could do was help out. You’ve come home several times only to find him outside on the front lawn, pulling out weeds from the cobbled pathway that leads to your front door. Since it’s daytime outside, he’s careful with how you two interact, only giving you a small nod and casually leaning on the scoop of his shovel.

He’s usually wearing a pair of black overalls, and nothing else. You can see the strong muscles of his back when you first approach him, and then the smooth skin of his collarbones and his shoulders when he turns around at the sound of your greeting. He always smiles boyishly at you, wiping off his hands with a rag that’s usually shoved into his pocket.

One day, when you’re feeling exceptionally needy, it happens. You’re on your way back home, enjoying the warm breeze and the way the sun bathes your face in a cheery glow. Your feet ache a bit from standing so long during your shift, but it’s something that you’ve gotten used to. You near your home, catching sight of a figure crouched in the rosebushes that line the property.

“Alex?” you say.

Alex turns around, looking up and shooting you a small smile. “Hey, love.”

The pet name still makes your heart somersault in your chest. You don’t know if you’ll ever get past it.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Your mum was gonna trim the bushes. She’s been quite busy today though, so I offered to do it instead.”

“Oh,” you say dumbly, biting your lip to suppress an endeared grin, “That’s really sweet of you.”

He smiles and shrugs, his gaze dropping down to your torso. You swallow heavily when his eyes rake down your body. He gives you a small, appreciative hum. “Look good, y’know that?”

It’s that simple sentence that has your heart rate speeding up and your tummy frothing warmly. It’s been a difficult day to begin with—throughout your entire shift, you could only focus on what it would feel like to be bent over the counter and ravaged. These thoughts aren’t new to you—contrary to what most people think, you’ve got needs—but you’ve never been so tempted to act on them.

So, you do something that you’ve never done before—it’s so out of character that you can feel your spine stiffening anxiously. You return Alex’s hungry look, glancing down at his biceps and smirking crookedly at the sheen of sweat that’s formed over the muscles.

“You look good, too,” you say, and you’re eternally grateful when your voice doesn’t come out as a shaky, uneasy mess, “Really good. Just want to…”

You trail off, stepping back and giving him a sly smile when you catch sight of his expression. His eyes have darkened significantly, pupils dilated as he watches your every move. His nostrils are flaring slightly, and a tendon in his jaw ticks prominently as he plunges his clenched fists into his pockets.

“‘Jus’ wanna’ what?” he asks, his voice hoarse.

You shrug your shoulders, fiddling mindlessly with the strap of your purse as you back away, nearing the steps of the porch. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” you inform him, a pleasant intonation masking your nervousness. Your heart feels like it’s about to burst from your chest, but your body is warm as pride washes over you.

With one last, innocent smile, you turn on your heel, skipping up the stairs and disappearing inside. Immediately, you rush up to the second floor, not even bothering to greet your mother. You stumble down the hall, tumbling into your room and slamming the door shut. Your purse falls to the floor, completely forgotten, as you hurry over to your window and peer outside at the front lawn.

Alex is still standing there, absolutely frozen. His eyes are trained on the door, as though he’s hoping that you’ll reappear in the threshold. From where you are, you can see the heavy rise and fall of his chest, and the view makes you beam widely.

You pull open your curtains all the way, and the subtle movement is enough to catch Alex’s attention. His head snaps up, his eyes widening slightly when he finds you standing in the window. For a long moment, the two of you merely stare at each other. Then, you bite your lip, your stomach brewing with nerves when your hand slips up to fiddle with the first button on the front of your dress.

God, what are you doing?

The jittery sensation has spread, coursing through your bloodstream and making your fingers shake as they work to unclasp the button—you hope that there’s enough distance between the two of you to keep Alex from seeing it. You watch as he cocks his head to the side slightly, confused by your actions. But then his eyes widen with recognition, and his lips part in salacious awe.

You’re on the second button now, and then the third, and then the fourth. Slowly, the material of your dress separates, exposing more and more of your chest. Alex looks as though he’s seen a ghost, and when your garment falls to the floor, you genuinely think he’s about to pass out. You’re standing above him, your torso visible in the window and your chest covered by only a plain, baby pink bra.

You reach around your body, your hands fumbling with the clasp of the undergarment, and you gnaw viciously on your bottom lip when you feel the cups become looser around your breasts. You’re watching Alex—a mix of excitement and anxiety racing up your spine—and you nearly giggle when you see him run a hand through his short hair, a pained expression warping his features.

The straps of your bra slip down your shoulders, and Alex’s eyes are pleading with you, begging you to end your torturous game. You giggle, spinning around in only a second and letting your bra fall from your body. When you peek back over your shoulder, Alex’s jaw is clenched, and his eyes are boring into your bare back with a terrifying intensity. You pull a clip from your hair, letting the strands fall down naturally, before you’re ambling away from the window and leaving any consequences behind.

God, what are you doing?

This is so unlike you. You’ve never been this forward, encouraging a boy and leading him on in such a scandalous way. You want to blame it on the excess of hormones coursing through your bloodstream, but you also know that this…well, this has been a long time coming. Ever since Alex had visited you at the bakery—ever since he’d told you that you were a “privilege” to look at—there’s been a palpable sexual tension in the atmosphere that just won’t dissipate.

You feel like a new woman. And it’s intimidating, but it’s good.

These are the thoughts that run through your mind as you practically prance over to your door. You pull down your panties and step out of the damp material, and reach for the soft, downy robe that’s hanging on your wall. With a satisfied hum, you slip it on, securing it at your hips with a small band of cloth hanging from the loops of the garment. You’ve got every intention of padding down the hall and hopping into the shower, and maybe—just maybe—you might even take care of the hot knot in the pit of your stomach.

You open the door, and a loud gasp leaves your lips—Alex muffles the sound with his palm, driving you right back into your bedroom.

“What are you—?” you try to ask, but Alex just shakes his head, squeezing your cheeks together so that your lips pucker out unattractively. He spins the both of you around, pressing you flush against the wall and placing one palm on the door, quietly easing it shut. You watch him, your body thrumming with excitement, and when he focusses his gaze back on you, your knees almost buckle.

“Like t’see me suffer, yeah?” The question isn’t meant to be answered, and you bite your bottom lip when Alex lays both of his forearms against the wall, effectively boxing you in. He steps closer to you, leaning down slightly so that you can feel his hot, heavy breaths fanning over your face.

You close your eyes, nibbling frantically on your bottom lip and resting your head back against the wall. Alex repeats his previous action, placing his palm against your mouth—a small, startled noise resonates deep in your throat, but he shushes you quickly, his thumb stroking the underside of your jawline.

“You’re tormentin’ me, love,” he whispers, angling his head down even more and nosing the fluffy fabric of your robe away from your neck.

You wait with a held breath, and your hands fly up to grip at his shoulders when he finally—finally—licks a scalding stripe up your throat. Your lips part in a silent gasp, and you arch your back up towards his touch. His right hand finds your thigh, and with an impatient tug, he’s got your leg hiked up around his waist. You swallow heavily as he assaults your neck, licking and biting and panting against the sensitive skin.

“Alex…,” you mumble. You don’t know what to say, your mind muddy with desire and your thoughts as slow as molasses. Alex merely hums against your collarbone—the hand that’s not on your thigh is holding tight to your hair, keeping the loose strands tamed so that he can play with you. He presses his body against yours, and you whimper pathetically when you feel something poking into your pelvic bone, conspicuous and large and mouth-watering.

“Gotta tell me,” Alex grunts, pulling his face from the crook of your neck and pressing his forehead to yours. He reaches for your hand, guiding it down so that your palm splays limply over the bulge tenting his trousers. “Gotta tell me f’yeh want it, love. F’yeh want me.”

In all of your nineteen years of life, you’ve never wanted someone more.

You express this in the form of a squeeze, your fingers cupping his prick through his bottoms. Alex lets loose a string of curse words, his forehead dropping to your shoulder. He lets go of your hair, unwinding it from where it’s wrapped around his fist, and fiddles with the knot on your robe that keeps you from baring everything to him.

“My mum doesn’t know I’m home,” you whisper shakily in his ear.

That’s all the permission he needs.

A moment later, the pair of you are stumbling down the hallway. Alex is fumbling keenly with the tie on your robe, and you’re sliding the straps of his overalls down his arms, excitement coursing through your veins. Eventually, his chest is bare, and you run your fingers against his pectorals, marvelling at the toned, slightly sweaty skin. You look up, resting one of your hands on the knob of the bathroom door, and Alex stares back at you so intensely your heart jumps into your throat.

He leans in, then, and your body pulses with anticipation when his face inches towards yours, his lips only centimetres away.

And then—suddenly—someone is climbing the stairs, two steps at a time.

Your head snaps to the side, your eyes widening and a hiss escaping your mouth.

“Tommy.”

You turn back to face Alex, blind panic written all over your face, but he’s twisting open the bathroom door and toppling inside. “Hurry!” you snap out of your stupor and usher him along as he hides behind the door. Your hair is frazzled, and you’re out of breath from your previous ministrations, but you try to make yourself look as composed as possible.

When you turn back around, Tommy’s reached the top floor. He smiles at you and walks down the hall towards you. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hi,” you say, hoping that you don’t sound too winded, “Um, what’s up?”

“Nothin’ much,” your brother shrugs, “Just got back from Angela’s house.”

Despite your initial alarm at the sight of him, you chuckle, looking down and shaking your head. “You lecher.”

“Oi!” Tommy whines, but he laughs too. He cocks his head to the side, studying you for a moment before asking, “You alright, then? Y’look out of breath.”

“Fine!” you say, your voice a little louder than it should be, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just—,” you make some sort of indiscernible motion with your left hand, “It’s hot, you know? So, I wanted to—to get in the shower as quickly as possible.”

“You’re loony,” Tommy grins, and you place a hand on your heart.

“I resent that!” you say, pretending to be offended. He laughs, pointing towards the open bathroom door behind you and stepping forward.

“Y’mind if I just duck in for a second? Gotta wash this off.” He turns his head to the side and reveals a bright mark of pink lipstick staining the spot where his jawline curves upwards.

You shoot him a teasing smirk. “Oh? Angela left you with a little parting gift, is that it?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was from mum?” Tommy asks, and you shake your head in response. He snickers, “Thought so.”

He’s about to slip by you and head into the washroom, but you stagger back quickly, blocking the entrance. “As much as I’d love to help you cover up your smudges of sin,” you both giggle at the description, “I’m in desperate need of a shower. You’ll just have to wait!”

You grin cheerily at your brother before stepping backwards and swinging the door shut. Tommy whines from outside the bathroom, banging his fist lightly against the barrier and pouting dramatically. “I thought we were past your whole ‘annoying sibling’ stage!”

“Please!” you scoff, “I was never the annoying sibling!”

Tommy mutters a few curses under his breath and you listen closely through the door, sighing quietly in relief when you hear his footsteps receding down the hallway. A moment later, the door to his room shuts obnoxiously, spreading a sense of finality throughout the top floor of the house. You press your forehead against the doorframe, closing your eyes and willing yourself to breathe properly again.

“’S alright,” Alex says softly, placing a hand on your lower back. You jump in surprise—you had simultaneously forgotten and been painfully aware of his presence.

Alex steps back when you turn around, and you rub your palms over your face, inhaling deeply. He brushes your hair behind your ears before cupping your face with both of his hands, coercing you into looking up at him. “’S alright,” he repeats, his eyes focussed yet tender, “You’re alright, love.”

“I—,” you groan in frustration, squeezing your eyes shut for only a moment, “—what are we doing, Alex?”

A crinkle forms in between his brows. You hate that you want to smooth it out with your lips. “What d’yeh mean?” he asks you.

“What is this?” you demand, gesturing towards how the two of you are standing. He’s still cupping your face, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones mindlessly. “I—I don’t know what we’re playing at. You obviously like me, but I just—”

“Do you like me?” Alex cuts you off. You choke on the rest of your sentence, looking up at him with wide eyes. He’s so fucking forward sometimes—it always catches you by surprise.

“I don’t even know your age,” you say weakly, gripping his wrists and pulling his hands from your face, “I—we’ve known each other for weeks, and I still have no clue how old you are!”

Your voice rises to a panicked volume, and Alex shushes you quickly. You heed his warning, remembering that Tommy is only just down the hall.

Alex slips his wrists from your grip, maneuvering your hands so that he’s somehow able to tangle your fingers together. You hate it, but—even more—you hate the way that you allow him to do so. You feel like clay underneath his fingertips, mutable and easy and willing to do anything with only the slightest graze of his palms.

“’M twenty-four,” Alex tells you quietly, “How old are you?”

“I—,” you sigh dejectedly before breathing out, “Nineteen.”

Alex looks at you through his eyelashes, and you gulp nervously.

“Nearly twenty,” you add, just for good measure. Alex chuckles, bringing both of your hands up to his lips and pressing two firm kisses against your knuckles. You watch him with parted lips, your heart betraying you as it flutters happily in your chest.

“There,” Alex says, “Now yeh know.”

“That’s—,” you shake your head, “That’s not what this is about, though. I don’t know you, not even in the slightest, and here I was, about to let you…”

You trail off, unable to say the words. Alex smirks, and he steps forward; you meet the action with a step back, and then—for the second time in less than fifteen minutes—he’s got you trapped helplessly against a wall.

“What?” Alex muses, the corners of his lips kinking upwards smugly, “What were yeh about t’let me do?”

“Quit it,” you whisper feebly, but the words carry no real effect—not with the way that you’re squeezing his hands sharply, the force revealing your true apprehension.

“Were yeh gonna let me kiss you?” Alex inquires, his tone hushed but complacent, “Were yeh gonna let me touch you?”

“Alex, stop it,” you whine, but you don’t try to shove him away. He releases your hands, and one of his palms curves around your hip. His other hand plays with the sleeve of your robe, tugging on it lightly so that the material slips away to reveal your collarbones.

“Already let me kiss your neck,” Alex says matter-of-factly, his voice low, “Where else were yeh gonna let me kiss, hmm?”

You open your mouth, but no words come out. Briefly, you wonder if this is how a deer feels right before a collision: shocked, unable to move, unable to think, before everything bursts into white and the tranquility of the night is blown apart. Alex’s hand sneaks up your arm, his fingers hooking into your robe and stroking along the bare skin of your shoulder.

“Would yeh let me kiss yeh here?” he asks, and despite your previous words, you nod. He smirks, and his palm falls lower, splaying out just below your chest. You gasp when you feel his rough thumb draw small circles along the underside of your right breast. “An’ how about here?”

Swallowing dryly, you nod again.

“Here?” Alex says, hiking your thigh up once more and looping it around his hips. His fingers dig into the plush skin, and you let out a small sigh of affirmation. He massages your leg thoroughly, before his hand is sliding upwards, and he settles his palm squarely on your bum. The contact makes you stiffen.

“An’ what about here, love?” Alex requests, stepping only an inch closer. You gasp loudly when he presses his pelvis firmly against yours, the outline of his cock putting pressure right at the apex of your thighs. Your hands fly to his biceps and you squeeze tightly, your nails digging tiny crescents into the skin. Alex snickers, repeating his question. “Would yeh let me kiss yeh there?”

“Yes,” you choke out, trembling like a leaf, “Yes, yes, yes.”

His face splits into a grin, and he nudges his hips a bit more firmly into you. You tilt your head back, biting your bottom lip and looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

“We can’t,” you nearly sob, “I can’t…I’ve never—”

“No?” Alex ducks down, delivering a hard kiss to the underside of your jaw, “’M gonna make yeh wait for it then. Gonna have yeh begging first, an’ then I’ll take yeh nice and proper.”

Your core positively throbs at his words, and you subconsciously push your chest against his. Alex kneads your backside softly, pursing his lips to conceal a smile when you squirm in his hold. He pats your bum a few times; your leg tightens around his hips, and your toes curl against the back of his thigh.

“You’re old-fashioned, yeah?” Alex inquires. The question takes you by surprise, and you have to close your eyes for a moment to collect your thoughts and to answer him with a coherent sentence.

“I—yeah, I guess.”

“So am I,” he tells you, and you nearly burst out laughing, because your situation and your current position is definitely not old-fashioned. Alex’s hand slips from your backside, and he pinches your thigh gently before unwinding your leg from around his body.

“Gonna do this properly, love,” he says, his voice confident and sure, “Take yeh on a date and kiss yeh goodnight. On the lips first, an’ then—,” he gives you a cheeky grin, “—maybe I’ll kiss some o’ those other places, yeah?”

“Yeah,” is all you can say, the syllable merely a breathless murmur. Alex nods—like the two of you have just arranged a deal in an office—and leans in, pressing his lips against your forehead.

“Gotta go finish trimming those rosebushes, or your mum will have my head.”

You crack a smile, and he steps away from you. He pulls the door open only a crack, peeking through the opening before slipping out into the hallway. You barely hear his footsteps as he sneaks down the stairs, and then you seal the bathroom door once more, pushing it shut and rubbing tiredly at your eyes.

Had that really just happened?

It’s too much. He’s too much.  You’re not sure what to make of his words, but they sound an awful lot like a promise that he intends to keep. Your head is spinning, and you’re finding it difficult to suck air into your lungs, but at the same time, you’ve never felt more alive.

Alex is cocky and confident and sweet and determined to get what he wants.

And you? You’re afraid and nervous and eager and impatient.

And you’re fucked.  You’re so, so fucked.

~*~

For the next few days, you don’t creep downstairs during the night. In fact, you avoid Alex altogether, too humiliated to even look at him. You stay at the bakery for longer than your shift entails, simply because you don’t want to walk home and risk running into him while he mows the lawn in front of your house. And when you do finally make the trek back, you disappear into your room without even bidding your family goodnight.

Is he aware of what he does to you? He’s got you scattered like a jigsaw puzzle, and it seems as though he’s the only one who can put you back together.

The thought scares you, and so you do your best to evade him.

And it works, it really does.

Until it doesn’t.

“I still think I should stay to help you clean up,” Dorothy tells you as she folds her apron into a neat little square. You just shake your head, bending down and reaching underneath the counter for her purse. She thanks you sweetly when you hand it over to her.

“It won’t take long,” you promise, shooting a glance towards the front of the store, where the sunset is bathing the tables in a dull orange glow. “Now, go,” you urge her, well-aware of how long it takes her to walk home (she lives a bit further than you do). “Before it gets dark.”

“Fine, fine,” she sighs gently and gives up. You grin—you really can be persistent when it’s necessary.

The door jingles when she opens it, and she gives you one last wave before you’re alone in the shop.

Letting out a quiet hum, you peek up at the clock to your left—there’s only ten minutes remaining until you can lock up the doors and finish wiping down the tables and the counter. You busy yourself in the meantime, reaching for a broom and a dustpan from the supply closet and sweeping up the hundreds of crumbs that litter the tiled floor.

After a minute or two, the heavy silence gets to you. Your fingers twitch as you glance towards the old, rusty jukebox in the far corner of the room. The contraption is large and clunky, and half of the time, it’s out of order, but you’ve got a few coins in your apron pocket and you’re determined to make it work.

You saunter over, making sure that the machine is properly plugged in, before fishing out a coin and sliding it into the appropriate slot. Most of the writing on the jukebox has faded, and the display is quite dim, but if you squint, you’re able to scroll through plausible options. You finally pick a song and cross your fingers.

“Fantastic,” you smile when the soft tune begins to play. It’s not very loud, but with the silence of the shop hanging onto your every breath, you can hear the opening notes just fine. You spin back around, continuing to sweep along the floor and softly singing along to the music.

The chiming of the door disrupts the calm atmosphere of the store, and your head snaps up in surprise.

“Sorry, we’re—,” you cut yourself off, the last word dying on the tip of your tongue.

“Closed, yeah,” Alex finishes for you. He reaches for the lock on the door, twisting it to the right and humming in satisfaction when a promising click echoes through the air. You’re struggling to breathe, your mouth dry and your feet moving of their own accord, carrying you back a few steps before you can even register the action.

Alex turns back around to face you, and his brows knit together when he notices the distance between the two of you.

“What are you doing here?” you ask quickly, hoping that your voice doesn’t sound too breathless.

“’S getting dark,” Alex tells you slowly, taking a cautious step towards you, “Didn’t want yeh walking home alone.”

“I—,” you shake your head, looking down at the ground and trying to busy yourself with tidying up once more, “It’s fine. I’ve walked home in the dark before, and I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re no bother, love,” Alex says, and your spine tingles as you process the words and the much deeper meaning behind them. You shrug your shoulders, trying to move further away from him, but Alex has had enough, it seems, because he stalks over to you before you can take another step.

“What—?” you start, but he shakes his head, his nostrils flaring with frustration.

“Cut the shit,” Alex snaps, and your eyes widen at his words. He blows out a ragged sigh, squeezing his eyes shut for only a moment and pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. Your heart is hammering wildly in your chest, because he’s done playing your game. You’ve eluded him for as long as possible, but he won’t allow you to run from him anymore—not when he doesn’t know why.

“’S wrong with yeh, hmm?” he asks, and his voice is softer this time, like he’s reigned in his emotions for now, “Been avoidin’ me, love. Haven’t spoken a single word to me since that day.”

That day.

The day you’d nearly let him have his way with you. The day you’d been so desperate for him, you’d been blind to the fact that he’s Tommy’s friend. Your situation doesn’t allow for sublime flirtations and longing glances—for lips kissing up necks and hands hitching thighs up onto hips.

“I—,” it feels like you’ve swallowed a bag of cotton balls, your throat hoarse with regret, “Alex, we can’t.”

“‘We can’t’ what?” Alex questions, but his chest is tight because he already knows what you mean. He’s clinging onto that last strand of hope—that last wish for reciprocation—but what pours next from your mouth dashes all prospects of his desires becoming a reality.

“We can’t do this!” you exclaim, dropping the broom to the floor and throwing your hands up in exasperation. The gentle notes of the jukebox fill the long silence that follows, and you wipe at your eyes when you feel frustrated tears pooling along your waterline.

“We—we can’t hold hands, and I can’t sneak downstairs to see you, and you can’t kiss my neck and tell me how much you need me!”

“Yes, I can,” Alex stresses, stepping closer to you. You merely scoff, glaring up at the ceiling and angrily trying to blink your tears away.

“You’re not supposed to, then,” you clarify, trapping him in his own claim, “You’re not supposed to smile at me like that, and I’m not supposed to want you as much as I do!”

Throughout your entire outburst, Alex is shaking his head, a hand running through his hair anxiously. You break off before you have the chance to start crying properly, simply looking at him with glistening eyes and a heaving chest. He steadies himself against a nearby table, his hand curling into a fist as he raps on the wood dejectedly.

“Dammit,” he mutters, looking away from you, “Dammit, dammit, dammit.”

“Stop,” you say weakly, stepping forward and curling your fingers around his wrist, “Please, don’t—you’ll get a splinter.”

He chuckles hollowly at that, peering down at you defeatedly as you release his arm. You don’t step back, though, watching as several emotions pass over his grassy eyes. He swallows heavily, his gaze intense as he searches your features for something—anything.

And he seems to find it. He sees it in the way your jaw clenches, in the way your eyelashes flutter nervously, in the way you look at him tenderly, like you’re afraid he’ll shatter right in front of you. It makes him lick his lips, and it’s what prompts him to get the words out.

“’S not jus’ me in this,” he mumbles. His hand comes up, and you inhale sharply when he cups your face in his palm. You don’t pull away, however, and that makes Alex smile sadly. You want him—he’s nearly certain of it. He just doesn’t understand why you’re fighting so hard to repress it. “Y’feel it too, don’t you?”

A pregnant pause follows. Your nostrils flare dramatically, and Alex thumbs along your cheekbone softly. He watches you intently, marvelling at the way you bite your bottom lip and how the flesh whitens. He can practically hear the gears whirring inside your head, and for a fleeting yet terrifying moment, he’s afraid that you’ll shake your head and disagree.

But then you nod despondently, peeking up at him through wet eyelashes.

“Yeah,” you say, your voice small, “I—yes.”

He hums, nodding at your confession. You stare down pointedly at his chest, refusing to meet his eyes. The soft, closing notes of the song waft through the air, and Alex exhales quietly.

“Dance with me,” he says suddenly. Your head snaps up to look at him, your eyes widening at the confident quip of his voice.

“I—no,” you refuse, and then you cringe at your own insolence. “I’m sorry,” you amend hastily, “It’s just…the song’s finished, and I don’t have any more money.”

It’s a lie, and you desperately hope that he can’t hear the coins in your apron jingling when you step back. Alex merely cocks an eyebrow, fixing you with an easy smirk before making his way over to the jukebox. He fishes through the pockets of his trousers, chuckling victoriously when he produces a single coin. He slides it into the slot and presses a button, and then the same song is starting right back up.

You shuffle nervously on the balls of your feet when he walks back over to you and offers you his hand. A part of you wants to protest, to turn away and disappear into the back of the shop until he finally fucking leaves. But there’s a louder voice in your head, a nagging noise that tells you to humour him, if only for the night.

“What are you playing at?” you murmur when he pulls you in close. Sparks shoot up your spine as he places one hand on your hip and intertwines the other with one of yours. His fingers flex against your knuckles as he smirks, looking down at the ground coyly.

“Could ask yeh the same question, love,” he replies evenly, and you flush hotly at the slight trace of accusation woven into each syllable. Alex glances back up at you, watching you profoundly. “Drive me crazy, y’know that? Wish I could walk away, but…there’s somethin’ about you.”

“Sorry,” you say meekly, because you don’t know how else you could possibly respond to those words. Alex laughs, his glittering eyes trained on you. You study his features—the tips of his hair glow orange in the sunset, and his irises are reflecting flashes of gold and green. There are faint shadows dancing upon the underside of his jaw, making his bone structure appear even sharper. The silver chain around his neck glints teasingly at you, and you move your hand from his shoulder to his neck, your fingers toying idly with the necklace.

“Where’d you get this?” you mumble, sliding your fingertips down the links. You pull the jewellery out from where it’s hidden beneath his shirt, tilting your head to the side as you examine the cross pendant that he’s kept concealed.

The smile slips from Alex’s face. You look up at him innocently, noticing when his feet falter in the slow, steady rhythm of your dance.

“’S from my mum,” he tells you quietly. “She’s dead,” he adds when he sees how your lips part to ask another question. You recoil slightly as though he’s just slapped you, your mouth clamping shut and your eyes blinking up at him owlishly.

“I—I’m sorry,” you stammer, utterly shocked.

“Don’t be,” Alex says quickly, shaking his head, “Was a long time ago.”

“Still—,” you press earnestly, molding your body against his in a subconscious, pathetic attempt to protect him. You squeeze his hand tightly, and your arm wraps around his neck. You bury your face into his shoulder, hugging him firmly and hoping that maybe the proximity will keep your heart from breaking cleanly in two.

You sigh quietly, lifting your head so that you can plant a kiss to his collarbone. Alex’s throat bobs heavily as he swallows, and you play with the small hairs at the back of his neck while the two of you sway absentmindedly. Your eyes drift shut as you inhale deeply, and then Alex speaks up again.

“Been havin’ more nightmares,” he murmurs, “Jus’ like before.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else, because you already know why his bad dreams have been reoccurring at an exponential rate. You sniffle against his neck, clasping him closer to you and nuzzling your nose against his jugular. “I’m sorry.”

“’S okay,” he says, and he pulls back so that he can face you. “But…we’re good now, yeah?” he asks, a hint of hesitation still prominent in his voice, “We’re okay?”

“Yeah,” you tell him sincerely, nodding with several firm shakes of your head. Alex’s lips curve up into a small, relieved smile, and he blows out a held breath. It makes you giggle quietly, and he presses his cheek against the side of your head as he begins to lead you through the dance.

“Y’friend came over today,” he mumbles absentmindedly, “Tracy, I think?”

“Haven’t seen her in a while,” you reply, your words slightly muffled as you press your lips to his shoulder. Alex nods, his grip tightening on you subconsciously. You try to ignore the way your stomach flips joyfully, and how you feel calmer now that you’ve sorted yourself out. Deep down, you know that there are things that still have to be resolved between the two of you, but for now, you allow yourself to relax and to enjoy being wrapped up in everything that is him.

“She invited yeh to go dancing tomorrow night—’s a new diner opening up, or summat,” Alex says. But then a tiny smirk stretches his lips, and he can’t help but to add, “Invited me, too. Looked like she wanted to take a right bite out o’ me, if I’m bein’ honest.”

At that, you frown and pull your head back, fixing him with a pair of displeased eyes. Alex chuckles smugly, his features alight with playfulness. He brings your linked hands up towards your face, pulling your bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb. “’S that look for, hmm?” he muses, releasing your lip and watching as it wobbles back into place.

“What look?” you ask, but your emotions are written all over your face, “There’s no look.”

“There’s certainly a look,” Alex says, before he grins widely, “A bit of a jealous look, I’d say.”

“There is not!” you gasp, lifting your chin stubbornly and shaking your head. You’re hoping to appear nonchalant, but you can feel a flush of heat creeping up your neck. Alex cocks an eyebrow, and you try to conceal your irritation, anticipating his next words.

“No?” he taunts, “So y’wouldn’t care if she asked me t’dance, then? Wouldn’t care if she wanted me t’kiss her?”

You swallow heavily, and a beat of silence hangs—unbearably tangible—in the air.

“What would you say?” you ask hoarsely, your throat itching with uneasiness. Your heart feels like it’s about to burst from your chest, and you’re almost afraid of how he’ll respond.

“I’d tell her that ‘m sorry,” Alex starts, squaring his shoulders and looking straight into your nervous eyes, “’Because I’ve already got m’heart set on someone else. I’d tell her—,” he chuckles quietly to himself, “—I’d tell her that I’ve been waiting t’kiss this ‘someone’ for a long time, and ‘m not about to give up now. Especially since it’s so close, I can fuckin’ taste it.”

“Alex.” You mean for his name to come out as an admonishment (he swears far too much), but the breathless quality of your voice robs it of the effect.

“Christ.” Alex allows his eyes to drift shut for only a moment before they’re trained back on you, piercingly intense. “Even the way yeh say m’name—,” he gulps, “—you’re drivin’ me downright mad, love.”

“Kiss me.”

The words fall seamlessly from your mouth, as though they’ve been dancing on the tip of your tongue for days (which is true, of course). You’re shocked, really, at how easily you’re able to verbalize the order. The thought of kissing him has been tiptoeing around in the back of your mind for weeks; it’s spread, growing larger whenever you feed it with the fantasies that creep up on you late at night. And now it’s lava, flowing slowly over every crevice of your psyche and demolishing everything in its path.

“Are yeh—?” Alex’s eyes are wide with childlike wonder. “I mean, I don’t wanna—”

“Kiss me,” you repeat, and the words are firm this time; a proper command. “Look, I’ve been thinking about this for way too long, so I swear to God, Alex, if you don’t kiss me right now—”

And then it’s hands on cheeks and lips on lips. It’s closed eyes and soft sighs, and slumped shoulders as relief finally washes over the two of you. A switch has been flipped, and as Alex moves his mouth languidly against yours, you’re grateful for the new conditions.

His palms are cupping your jawline, keeping you close as you whimper feebly against his lips. Your hands reflexively find his waist, thumbs hooking into the belt loops on his trousers. The song playing on the jukebox drifts off into the distance; the closing notes grow fainter with each passing second, but this time, neither of you bother to tinker with the machine.

Eventually, you’re struggling to breathe, and you have to pull away with a thick gasp. Alex only leans further into you, chasing your lips, and you giggle at his enthusiasm.

“Slow down, Romeo,” you say softly, biting your bottom lip to suppress a wide smile. Alex hangs his head, chuckling at himself. His shoulders shake with the action, and when he glances back up at you, his eyes are twinkling happily, and his face has split into a grin.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly, rubbing circles into your temples with his thumbs. You giggle yet again, your fingers coming up to run along your mouth shyly. Alex swallows—it’s almost like you’re trying to savour the taste of him.

“Did it—was it good?” he asks, his words ragged. You nod, your eyes shining as you pinch your bottom lip lightly.

“Yeah,” you whisper, giving him a small, appreciative smile, “Really good.”

And then you step back and bend down, picking up the abandoned broom that’s laying a few feet away.

“I need to finish cleaning up,” you tell him, tittering bashfully when he pouts. He follows you as you slip behind the counter, trailing after you like a lost puppy and monitoring you with keen eyes.

Alex will admit that he’s pathetic. He’ll admit that his gaze falls to caress your curves as you lean forward to wipe down the glass of the display cases. He’ll admit that he tries once or twice (or six times) to distract you by hiking you up onto the counter and attacking your face with kisses. He’ll admit that every time he manages to make you laugh, his veins thrum and pulsate with excitement.

And he’ll admit that he’s fucked. He’s so, so fucked.

~*~

“And you’ll be back by eleven, right? Not a minute later?” Your father fixes you with an expectant look.

“Promise!” you chirp, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing out the door, “Bye!”

“Be careful!” your mother calls, but you’re already bounding down the porch steps.

Tommy’s waiting in the car, drumming his fingers lazily on the steering wheel. He’d bellowed at you to hurry up and was met with your rebuttal of how it takes time to look good, but of course he wouldn’t know that. You walk over to the vehicle and notice that Alex is sitting in the passenger seat, saying something to your brother. His gaze lands on you through the windshield, and he does a double take, stopping right in the middle of his sentence.

You slide into the backseat, securing your purse in your lap and grinning down at your feet when Tommy says to Alex, “Cat got your tongue, mate? Go on.”

Alex stutters, blinking quickly, and you strain your ears to hear him. “No, yeah. Was just sayin’…she’s fit. Really grand.”

“Would you shag her?” Tommy asks as he pulls out of the driveway. Alex thinks for a moment, and you look up perplexedly. Who the hell is he talking about? And why is your chest so tight?

Alex catches your eye in the rear-view mirror, and he chews on his bottom lip to suppress a smirk. “Yeah. In a heartbeat.” He winks at you, taking advantage of the fact that Tommy’s eyes are trained exclusively on the road.

And oh.

Oh.

“Is she gonna be there tonight?” Tommy inquires, “Pretty much everyone our age is goin’, swingers and sirens alike.” He grins, and Alex chuckles, scratching the nape of his neck.

“I think so, actually,” he hums, and your brother takes one hand off the wheel so that he can elbow Alex in the arm.

“Charm her knickers off, then!” he nods, shooting Alex a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. You watch as Alex nods and grins widely, and when your eyes meet in the mirror again, you look away to hide a smile.

~*~

“I’m gonna go find Angela,” Tommy announces as he slams the car door. “Said she’d meet me near the jukebox or summat. You—,” he looks pointedly at you as you slide out of the vehicle, securing the strap of your purse on your shoulder, “—don’t get into too much trouble.”

You roll your eyes. “Bite me.”

Your brother chuckles, shooting you a crafty grin. He then turns to Alex, who’s inspecting the side of the car to make sure that he’s shut the door properly. “And you—,” Tommy winks at him, “—go find your sexpot, yeah?”

“She’s not a sexpot!” Alex begins to protest, but Tommy’s already spun around on his heel and is jogging towards the entrance of the diner. Alex closes his eyes and mumbles a curse under his breath, and you giggle beside him. His eyes snap open, like he’s only just remembered that you’re here.

“’F only he knew he was talking about his sister,” Alex teases, and you smile, shaking your head.

“He’s clueless, honestly,” you reply, and he chuckles quietly. He steps forward, his hand reaching out for yours, but you gasp and retreat quickly.

“Um,” you gnaw on your bottom lip, gazing up at him with apologetic eyes, “It’s probably best if we don’t…there’s a lot of people in there, and I don’t want them to—”

“Ashamed o’ me, love?” Alex asks, a smirk playing on his lips, and you gawk at him in surprise. You shake your head frantically and your eyes widen, because how could he possibly say that?

“What? No,” you state firmly, desperately trying to reword your thoughts, “I just don’t want it getting back to Tommy, and—oh, piss off!” You place your hands on your hips, frowning when you see the smile grow on his face. He’s purposely trying to fluster you, and you hate that it’s working.

“Now, now,” Alex cocks an eyebrow, his lips quirking up into a crooked grin, “’S no way to talk to an acquaintance, hmm?” He stresses the title, and you scoff at his playfulness.

“Especially not to one who thinks that y’look absolutely enchanting, tonight,” Alex adds, his voice heavy with sincerity. You bite the inside of your cheek when his eyes comb down your body, taking in every tiny detail.

You’re wearing a navy-blue dress that reaches about an inch above your knees, and there’s a light gray cardigan slung over your shoulders to keep them from being exposed. Your flats are silver, glinting in the dim lighting of the parking lot. Your purse is a dark brown, and you despise the fact that it clashes with your outfit—you’d been in a rush (compliments of Tommy), and you couldn’t have been bothered to rifle through your closet for a different bag.

“Thank you,” you whisper bashfully, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “I—you look really nice, too. Handsome.”

“Yeah?” Alex beams proudly, his hands coming up to tug cheerfully on the lapels of his jacket. He’s clad only in black, the buttons of his shirt done up nearly all the way. His trousers are a bit short for him, but the loafers that adorn his feet allow for the funny length to go virtually unnoticed. There’s a few rings gleaming on his fingers—they match the chain around his neck—and his hair is messy, like he hadn’t cared enough to style it properly.

But, God…he looks so damn good.

“Yeah,” you nod, giving him an earnest smile. The sound of an upbeat tune reaches your ears, and you glance at the front of the diner—the place has been lit up with bright lights, and you can see shadows of people stirring around through the windows.

“We should probably go in,” you say, and Alex hums in agreement.

The two of you make your way into the restaurant, standing an appropriate distance away from each other and trying to keep your gazes controlled. Alex can’t stop glancing at you through the corner of his eye, watching as you take in the lively setting with parted lips and a fascinated expression on your face. He’s only snapped out of his daze when a girl rushes up to you and engulfs you in a tight hug.

“Oh, I’m so glad you came!” she cries over the volume of the music.

Alex recognizes her as Tracy, the friend that had visited your house yesterday with the intention of coaxing you into joining her tonight. He’d been pulling weeds from the grass, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, when someone had cleared their throat daintily from behind him. She’d been watching him with eager eyes, subconsciously arching her chest out as she explained that she was looking for you. When he’d told her that you weren’t home, she’d stuck around anyways, babbling on about how excited she was for the grand opening of the diner.

“’S nice,” Alex had replied politely, nodding. She clapped her hands, her eyes lighting up.

“Oh, you should come! Everyone’ll be there, and you could meet some people—maybe even find a pretty girl and ask her to dance.”

That last part made it sound like she was talking exclusively about herself, and when Alex had glanced up at her, he’d found her ardently eyeing his biceps. So, he’d shrugged and agreed, and told her that he’d pass on the invitation to you.

That’s why he’s here now, trying desperately to avoid Tracy’s eyes when she pulls away from you and looks over to him.

“Alex!” she trills, holding her arms out for a hug as well, and he wants to curse, because of course he has to return the gesture. “You made it!”

“Hullo,” Alex mumbles, feeling a bit awkward when she doesn’t release him as quickly as she should. He purses his lips, glancing at you for help over her shoulder, and you have to stifle a giggle with the palm of your hand.

When she pulls back at last, Alex withdraws into himself, swallowing heavily and shoving his hands into his pockets. Tracy looks at you, ticking off pieces of information from her fingers. “There’s free milkshakes for the ladies, and free beer for the men! You know, opening night and all.”

You nod, smiling. “Sounds perfect. Thanks, Trace.”

“No worries,” she grins, before her eyes zero back in on Alex. “Come with me!” she says, grabbing his arm and pulling him forward, “Let’s get you a beer, yeah? Maybe that’ll loosen you up a bit.”

She titters lightly at her own quip, and you lift your eyebrows in amazement—what would it be like if you were as forward as her?

“Oh, I—,” Alex looks at you with panicked eyes, as though he’s simultaneously asking for your permission and begging you to help him out of the situation. You just shrug, trying your best to conceal a smile.

“Yeah, Alex,” you encourage, suppressing a smirk, “Loosen up.”

His eyes harden, and his lips turn down into a scowl at your betrayal. Tracy’s attention is already somewhere else as she tugs him along, and you allow yourself to release a small giggle. Eventually, Alex has to turn around to watch where he’s stepping, but that doesn’t stop him from shooting you one last look over his shoulder. Once he’s out of sight, you’re able to let out a loud, unrestrained laugh.

You peer around at the other people mingling in the diner, a content sigh leaving your lips.

A free milkshake sounds nice.

~*~

Two hours have passed, and you’re not exactly having a great time.

At first, watching Alex struggle with Tracy had been hilarious. You’d enjoyed observing him from afar and seeing how he really tried to avoid her even as she clung unyieldingly onto his arm. But now, after she’s gotten him to chug down two beers, he’s definitely loosened up.

They’re on the dance floor, and he’s twirling her to the beat of a bubbly song. You watch as she laughs, and he cracks a small smile, pulling her in closer and gripping her hand tightly as they dance.

Your stomach clenches grossly—he’d held you that same way last night.

You frown, turning back to your third milkshake of the night. Your fingers guide the straw into your mouth, and you slurp down the frothy drink, trying not to let your jealousy blaze out of control. You’d told him that the two of you couldn’t be seen together, hadn’t you? It makes perfect sense that he’s out there, having a good time and pretending to sweep another girl off her feet.

The more you stare at them, though, the less convinced you are that he’s faking it.

You sigh, twirling your straw absentmindedly through the whipped cream that’s mounted on top of your milkshake. Fuck.

You hate that this is getting to you. You hate that you’re so pathetically insecure, and that you assume Alex is going to abandon you and pick up the next pretty girl to stumble into his path. He’ll go for someone who’s got more experience—he seems like the type to enjoy a lady who knows what she’s doing. Someone who’s forward, just like him. Someone who’ll let him touch her without trembling ludicrously beneath his palms. Someone who won’t make him wait weeks just to fucking kiss her—

“Y/N?”

You whip around, and your vision goes blurry for a moment. Quickly, you blink away the imprecision, and your eyes focus on the man who’d uttered your name.

“Max?” you gasp, your face splitting into a smile. You hop off of the high barstool you’re perched upon, stumbling forward and throwing your arms around his neck.

“Hi!” you say against his shoulder, squeezing him firmly, “How are you?”

“Good.” Max smiles when you pull back, and you usher him into occupying the stool next to you. You settle back down, tracing the rim of your glass with your finger as you await his next words.

“How are you?” Max asks, his deep brown eyes boring into your face, “’S been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Nearly three years,” you agree, nodding solemnly, and then you accuse, “You sort of just fell off the face of the planet!”

“Did not!” Max scoffs in mock-offense, putting a hand on his heart. You laugh loudly as he continues, “Just went off to France for a little while, that’s all. My father has a place in Marseille—right on the beach, actually.”

“That sounds so nice,” you sigh, placing your chin on your palm, “I’ll bet it’s warm, isn’t it? I’d love to go there.”

“You should come visit,” Max suggests, his eyes sparkling as he presents the offer. “We could spend some time together, you know? There’s loads of food, and it’s good, too—the chefs down there really know what they’re doing. I could even teach you how to surf!”

“Max, I—,” you hesitate, biting down on your bottom lip. Max has never been good at hiding his emotions, nor his intentions. He’s always been impulsive and has had a lot of trouble controlling his actions and his words. Even now, you can see the way he puffs out his chest, as well as the arrogant glint in his eyes.

Your thoughts race backwards, remembering how, in your last year of high school, he’d invited you to come over to his house. He’d claimed that he was in desperate need of a study partner (“This chemistry exam is gonna kick my arse, I just know it!”) and you had happily agreed to help him.

All hopes of studying had been dashed when he’d kissed you, shoving his tongue past your lips and groping callously at your bum. You’d pushed him off quickly, squeaking in surprise and gasping when he took a tumble from the couch, landing harshly on his forearm.

You’d sprained his wrist.

But you hadn’t been sorry.

“I’m really busy here,” you lie, training your eyes back on your milkshake. Max leans forward earnestly, running a hand through his sandy hair.

“Oh, c’mon!” he presses, placing his palm flat on your thigh. You jump at the contact, your eyes widening when you feel him drum his fingers over the material of your dress. “It’ll be fun,” he says, and you can tell that he’s trying his damnedest to convince you, “Do you know how many types of fish I’ve seen in the sea? Probably hundreds! And there’s not a single person there with ill intentions.”

Except for one, maybe.

“I don’t know,” you mumble, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. Max opens his mouth, ready to produce even more persuasions, but then a large, warm hand lands on the small of your back, and you flinch in surprise.

“Havin’ fun?” Alex smirks when you look up at him, your eyes wide and alarmed. You relax immediately once you recognize him, the tension melting from your shoulders like ice cream on a hot sidewalk. Tracy is nowhere to be seen, and you hate that your stomach overturns haughtily at the realization.

“Yeah,” you say slowly, even though it’s the furthest thing from the truth. “Um, Alex, this is Max,” you start, gesturing to the man sitting in front of you, “He’s an old friend of mine.”

“Nice t’meet you, mate,” Alex nods, reaching forward and grasping Max’s hand firmly. Max cocks an eyebrow when Alex practically crushes his fingers in the grip.

“You too,” he says curtly, before he’s turning back to face you. It’s really, truly rude, and you try to conceal the astonished look on your face.

“Anyways,” Max clears his throat, “I really think you’d like it there, Y/N. The water’s beautiful, and I’ve got staff at my place who’ll wait on you hand and foot, so you won’t have to worry about—”

“’S goin’ on?” Alex brows knit together.

You look up at him, swallowing heavily.

“Max was just telling me about his house in Marseille. He wants me to visit, but I told him that I’m way too busy here at home.”

The wrinkles on Alex’s forehead dissipate, and his shoulders fall as relief washes over him. “Oh,” he says, the tone of his voice a bit more casual than before. He chuckles, shooting Max a helpless look. “Well, y’heard her, mate. A busy bee, this one.” He tilts his head towards you as he references your words.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Max questions bluntly, and your lips part at the irritability lacing his words. You see Alex’s mouth curve down into a slight frown, and you jump in before he can reply.

“This is Alex,” you say hastily, your hand subconsciously finding the crook of Alex’s arm. You squeeze tightly, hoping to soothe the obvious temper that’s warping his features. “He’s Tommy’s friend. They came back together from Dunkirk.”

“Oh, you lot,” Max mutters. Alex’s eyes narrow, and you stiffen.

“What’s that s’posed to mean?” he asks, trying to keep his voice levelled. Max just shrugs, pushing his hair out of his face and grimacing offhandedly.

“It’s just, well—a lot of good you all did,” he gripes, gesturing arbitrarily with his hands, “We had to come save you, isn’t that right?”

Alex is visibly shaking beside you now, and out of the corner of your eye, you see his hands ball up into fists. His knuckles whiten, the bones nearly popping from their sockets. The rest of the patrons in the diner are chatting happily and frolicking amongst each other, completely oblivious to the strained condition of your conversation.

Your fingers dig into Alex’s forearm discreetly, and you slide off of your barstool. “Well,” you say quietly, turning to face Max while placing a pacifying palm onto Alex’s chest, “It was nice seeing you, Max. We’ve got to go.”

With that, you shove past your old “friend” and tug Alex out of the restaurant.

~*~

Alex is seething.

Absolutely, fucking seething.

He wants to run back in there and punch the damn bastard in his smug little face. He wants to break his nose, to pull at his ears, to knock every single pearly, white tooth from his mouth. He wants to hit him until his own knuckles are split and bloody, carrying proof of the conflict.

He wants to, he wants to, he wants to.

But he doesn’t.

You’re pulling him along, rounding the corner of the diner and yanking him into a small alley. The lane is empty and secluded, giving the two of you enough privacy to avoid any curious eyes. Alex is breathing heavily, trying to suppress the anger that’s bubbling up inside of him. You finally stop once you reach the back of the passage, your hands finding the lapels of his jacket and tugging him towards you.

“That fuckin’ git,” Alex snarls, “That cowardly, brainless, foul—”

“I know!” you choke out, your grip tightening on the material of his coat, “I know, Alex, I know, but please—,” you gaze up at him imploringly, “Ignore him, okay? He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Fuckin’ cocksucker said—,” Alex starts, but you cut him off.

“I know what he said,” you lament, squeezing your eyes shut, “I know, I know. And he had no right to open his damn mouth, but please, Alex…”

You open your eyes and reach for him, placing a hand on each side of his face. He’s trembling beneath your touch; you steady him and force him to look directly at you.

“It’s bullshit,” you whisper to him, stroking his cheeks soothingly, “Everything he said? It’s all bullshit. And he’s not worth a fight, okay? You’re so much better than that.”

“He fuckin’—,” Alex breaks off, gritting his teeth nastily and glaring down at the ground. You swallow heavily, dropping your hand from his face so that you can lace your fingers with his. You pull him forward as you step back, and you stop only once you feel your shoulders hit the rough brick wall of the building.

“Hey,” you murmur, guiding his hands around your waist, “Look at me, yeah? Look at me.”

Alex’s gaze flicks upwards, his eyes filled with fragments of both rage and sorrow. He scoffs at himself and shakes his head, his arms subconsciously constricting as they circle your hips.

“Fuck, ‘m sorry,” he mumbles, staring at you sadly.

You purse your lips and blink at him. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” you tell him earnestly, your fingers carding gently through his hair. Your nails scratch comfortingly at the back of his head, and Alex releases a small, satisfied groan, his eyelids drifting shut.

“Look at me,” you remind him quietly, and you hum in gratitude when you’re met once again with the mossy green of his irises. Your teeth latch onto your bottom lip, and you play with a small strand of hair that has begun to curl behind his ear.

“Kiss me,” you tell him, your heart thumping rapidly in your chest. For a moment, you’re afraid that he’ll actually be able to hear the erratic pulse.

Alex surges forward, like the absence of the command had been the only thing holding him back. His lips smear against yours messily, and you wind your arms around his neck as your eyes flutter shut. You can still hear the tune of a song that’s playing inside the diner, but it’s quickly drowned out by the thick, syrupy gasp that Alex produces against your mouth. His hot breath washes out onto your nose and your chin, making your skin crawl with desire.

“Please,” you murmur between soft, smacking kisses, and one of Alex’s hands comes up to rest on the side of your neck. He tilts his head to the side, deepening the contact between you. You squeak quietly when his tongue pokes out and slides tentatively over your bottom lip, but then you’re parting your lips so that you can get even closer to him.

He notices that you taste like chocolate, and your mouth is honeyed from having slurped on multiple milkshakes throughout the night. In his head, he’s berating himself, because he knows that you’re probably tasting the beer that he’d downed earlier this evening, which is nowhere near as sweet.

“Sorry,” he rasps out, pulling away from your lips with a wet noise, “Probably taste like a pint, don’t I? ‘S not very pleasant.”

“No,” you whimper, shaking your head frantically, and guiding him back down to you. You sloppily press your mouth against his, slurring out, “No—it’s good, it’s great, please, just—”

And Alex is speechless, really, because he’s never seen you this weak for it. You’re begging him in between kisses, your words coming out as tiny, breathless mewls and frail hiccups. The noises you make are downright sinful, and very similar to the ones he conjures up when he’s tugging at his cock and imagining that you’re there with him. His pulse accelerates when you pull him closer to you, ensuring that there’s not even an inch of space between your bodies.

“Fuck, slow down, love,” Alex tells you, because he’s genuinely worried that he’ll spill right then and there and make a mess of his trousers.

“Don’t wanna,” you garble, whimpering softly, “Don’t wanna stop—please, just kiss me…”

“Okay, okay, ‘m coming,” Alex soothes. “Jesus,” he mumbles, completely enthralled; he can’t believe it.

He can’t fucking believe it.

He kisses you for what feels like hours, though it really can’t be more than only a few minutes. You’re all around him—the smell of your shampoo fills his nose, and your sweet, breathy gasps echo in his ears. He caresses your hips over your dress, his hands slipping lower so that they rest just above the swell of your bum. You hook one of your calves around the back of his knee, using the leverage to pull him closer. His pelvis fits snugly against yours, and when he applies even the lightest amount of pressure, you keen shamelessly.

“Christ, love,” Alex swears, reluctantly detaching his lips from where they’re melded to yours. Once he catches sight of you, however, he almost wishes he hadn’t.

Your eyes are glossy and glazed over with desire. Your pupils have dilated dramatically, nearly concealing the true colour of your irises. Alex watches your nostrils flare as you inhale sharply, having been deprived of air for far too long. Your lips are swollen and much darker than before, thanks to his passionate, bruising kisses. You bite the inside of your cheek, running a hand through your hair in hopes of taming the untidy strands.

Alex squeezes his eyes shut for only a moment and tries to reign in his cravings—to establish some sense of control over the situation.

“We need t’stop,” he tells you, his voice pained (stopping is the last thing he wants to do, but he knows that you’ll never forgive him if he allows this to escalate).

You blink slowly, and eventually, you’re pulled from your impious daze. Alex strokes your cheek, and you huff shakily, your breathing rattled. Your chest is heaving, and you peer around at your surroundings, processing it all anew.

“I wanna go home,” you mumble quietly. Alex isn’t quite sure whether you’d meant for him to hear the words, but then you look up at him with wide, nervous eyes, and repeat the sentence. “I wanna go home.”

“Okay,” Alex tells you, wrapping you up in his arms. All of his previous rage has dissipated, and as he presses a firm kiss to your forehead, he sends out a quiet prayer of thanks. He nods, his hands running up and down your back delicately.

“Okay,” he restates, his voice soft, “Let’s go home.”

~*~

Alex is sprawled out on the couch later that night, incapable of falling asleep.

He’s been struggling for the last two hours or so, changing his position multiple times and fluffing up his pillow to make it a bit more buoyant. He’d tried to cover himself up completely with the blanket (and then had decided against it—it was too hot); he’d tried to stick one foot out (but had quickly pulled it back in—it made him feel too exposed). Eventually, he’d just flopped down onto his back, staring up defeatedly at the ceiling.

He’s been settled like that for twenty minutes now.

He just wants to relax—to be pulled under by the weight of his eyelids and the heaviness of his limbs—but his mind is racing. No matter how much he wishes to forget about what that stupid fucking prick had said, he can’t. The words resonate in his ears, and it’s almost like he’s back at the diner, hearing them being spoken out loud.

A lot of good you all did.

The denigration had hit a nerve—struck a chord deep within him, an insecurity of which he hadn’t been aware.

We had to come save you, isn’t that right?

Alex grits his teeth. Fuck Max. Fuck him and his damn house on the beach. Fuck him and the fact that he’d probably been sipping cocktails on the sand while Alex had been on the other side of the country, cowering in fear as bombs dropped continuously from the sky. Fuck him and the fact that he’d probably been sleeping soundly in his bed while Alex had been fleeing from multiple sinking ships.

His throat is tight as he remembers every detail of his time in France, and how it had been nothing like what Max had experienced under the sunny skies of Marseille.

Fuck him. Just fuck him.

A loud creak reverberates through the air, and Alex’s head snaps to the side as he sits up abruptly. His heart pounds erratically in his chest as a rush of adrenaline scatters through his veins, and he holds his breath in panic.

Half of your body appears as you peek into the lounge, your hand steadying on the doorway of the room. Alex exhales heavily, and his shoulders drop as relief floods through him.

Was it ever going to go away?

The rest of your torso appears as you make your way into the living room. Alex moves gingerly, sliding his legs out from underneath the blanket and turning towards you. His feet land soundly on the floor, and he spreads his knees apart as you approach him.

He watches you intently when you slip in between his legs and chew on your bottom lip nervously. You look like you haven’t been able to fall asleep either—your hair is messy, and your eyes are slightly bloodshot. Your cheeks are a bit puffy, like you’ve been crying, and when you reach for him, he notices that your hands are shaking.

You interlock your fingers with his before bringing them up to your face. Alex is about to interrogate you, to make sure that you’re alright, but then you press a hard kiss to the knuckles on each of his hands, and his voice betrays him. You inhale deeply, like you’ve been deprived of oxygen for hours, and then you step back, giving a faint tug.

“Come with me.”

The words are quiet, nearly imperceptible. Alex almost wonders if he’d imagined them, but then you pull lightly on him again, and he obeys without a second thought.

He’d follow you straight into Hell, if you were to ask.

You’re leading him out of the living room and towards the stairs. Alex swallows violently when you begin to climb up, and you squeeze his hands in reassurance. He can’t help but to watch the way your hair falls around your shoulders, and how the fabric of your nightgown creases along your back with each step. The two of you ascend quietly, making sure to stay light on your toes to avoid potentially squeaky footfalls.

You reach the top of the stairs, and you wordlessly guide Alex down the hall. He’s pretty sure he stops breathing when he sees you advancing towards your bedroom.

The door is slightly ajar, and you release one of Alex’s hands so that you can tilt it open quietly. He can hear his pulse in his ears, now, and his hands are slightly clammy when you tug him past the threshold.

He’s only ever been in your room once before, and during that visit, he hadn’t exactly paused to look around.

Your bed is pressed snugly against the wall. The duvet is messy, as though you’d been tossing around before having finally come down to find him. Alex notes the tall dresser standing proudly off in the corner, and the large mirror that hangs from the wall to his right. Gray moonlight streams in from your window, which is completely exposed due to the pale curtains that you’ve shoved out of the way.

And there are pictures. Loads of pictures.

He knows that he could stand there for hours and inspect every single frame. He could find you in nearly every photo, examining the way your lips curve up into beaming grins and tracing the crinkles that form by your eyes. He could probably—if he was given enough time—organize each picture so that they stood in chronological order.

But then you’re turning around and stepping towards him, and all thoughts of frames and portraits flee from his mind.

“I want—,” you start, your voice trembling, “I need—”

And then your hands are at his waist, rucking up the soft material of his t-shirt and leaving a searing path against his sides. Alex acts without thinking, capturing your wrists and holding onto them tightly. A faint gasp leaves your lips as you stare up at him through your eyelashes, confusion written all over your face.

“Are yeh sure?” Alex breathes, his thumbs idly stroking the soft skin of your palms. “Are yeh sure, love? Can’t go back once it’s done.”

“I’m sure.” The words tumble from your lips as a breathless whisper. “Yeah, yes, I’m sure. I just wanna—please, I just need—”

“Okay, okay,” Alex soothes, stepping forward and eliminating the remaining space between you. His hands find your face, and then he’s guiding you up to meet him, his lips sealing against yours. You sigh happily into his mouth, your fingers wrapping around the fabric of his shirt and squeezing it tightly in your fists.

His lips move against yours languidly, and one of his hands slips from your face, curling around the nape of your neck so that he can keep you steady. His middle finger rubs the skin on the side of your throat, and you mewl quietly at the sensation. Your knees feel like they’re about to give out, and you can feel your stomach bubbling with anxiety and excitement.

Your hands are moving of their own accord, embarking upon their previous mission to rid him of his top. This time, Alex doesn’t try to stop you, instead lifting his arms up and disconnecting his lips from yours for only a second. He waits patiently as you fumble, smirking when the material of his shirt conceals his face. After a few, long seconds, your shaky hands are dropping the fabric to the floor. Alex tries to wipe the smile from his face, but you catch him when your gaze drifts back up.

“Stop it,” you mumble bashfully, your shoulders hunching as you try to curl in on yourself. Alex just chuckles and shakes his head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Sorry, love. Can’t help it—jus’ so damn cute.”

Heat races up your spine, and you refuse to meet his eyes, instead busying yourself with his body. You eye his tanned skin and the way that it fits so smoothly over his pectorals. His stomach is flat, and his chest is toned, making your mouth water. Instinctively, you bring one of your hands to his left shoulder, tracing circles along the bone. Alex’s throat bobs heavily when your fingers slip lower, running along his collarbone and then his sternum.

“This is okay, right?” you ask, peering up at him shyly.

He nods quickly, exhaling through his nose. “Yeah, yes—fuck, ’s more than okay.”

You gnaw on the inside of your cheek to suppress a smile. Alex stiffens when the nail of your index finger circles his left nipple, and you watch in awe as the bud hardens. His skin has pebbled beneath your touch, goosebumps exploding over his arms and his chest. You hesitate for only a moment before leaning forward and pressing a soft, open-mouthed kiss to the place where his heart is thumping wildly below his ribs.

Alex knocks your hand away, then, and you look up at him in surprise, because you hadn’t finished exploring. He just grips your fingers tightly, though, and brings them up to his lips so that he can smear his mouth against your knuckles.

“Promise I’ll let yeh have your fun next time,” he swears to you, his voice a mere whisper. You gulp and nod, because apparently, he’s anticipating a next time.

Alex ducks forward to kiss you again, but instead of placing his hands at your jaw (it seems to be his favourite place to hold you), his fingers fumble with the column of buttons lining the front of your nightgown. You gasp loudly against his lips, and he shushes you as he thumbs open the first clasp lying a few inches below your collarbones.

“You’re sure, right?” he asks again, and you nod feverishly, your mouth sliding against his sloppily. Your own hands come up as you scramble to help him, exhaling unsteadily against his chin.

Once he’s finally unfastened the last button, his breath catches in his throat. You take it upon yourself to push the fabric from your body, gazing up at him shyly as the garment slips down your shoulders, your arms, and finally, falls to the floor in an airy heap.

Alex merely stares at you, unable to say anything. He can’t speak, he can’t move, he can’t think—all because you’re not wearing a damn bra.

Your nipples pebble as they become exposed to the cool air of the room. Alex can’t tear his eyes away from your chest—he’s acting crassly, he knows, but he can’t help himself. Here you are, standing before him wearing nothing but a plain pair of white panties, biting your lip apprehensively and wanting him.

It’s a literal dream come true (he can’t control the fantasies cooked up by his subconscious, okay?), and he’s afraid that any second now, he’s going to wake up.

But then your trembling hands reach for his own, and you lace your fingers together. You retreat towards your bed, and Alex follows you eagerly. He expects you to climb up onto the mattress and wait for him to join, but—as always—you surprise him.

Once your knees hit the edge of the bed, you plop down without a sound, tugging Alex closer to you. He inhales sharply when you release his hands and instead catch his hips, holding onto them tightly.

You peer up at him through your eyelashes as you lean forward, pressing hot kisses to his abdomen. Alex nearly chokes on his own spit. His cock plumps up at the contact, beginning to harden in his pajama pants, and you watch in awe as the material starts to tent slightly.

“F-Fuckin’ hell,” Alex stammers, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. Your right-hand slides down from his hip, and you brush your fingertips against his bulge gently, your eyes wide in naïve wonder.

“’S enough,” Alex croaks out, but you don’t acknowledge him. You bow down, smoothing your lips against the faint trail of hair that disappears beneath the waistband of his striped pajamas. Alex grunts, twining his hand through your hair and giving a faint tug. You whine when you feel him pull at your roots, but the pain is dull, dizzying, and delightful.

“I said ’s enough,” Alex grunts, glaring down at you. He’s truly afraid that if you keep it up, he’ll cum in his pants. It’s been so long since he’s had someone else take care of his cock, and the realization that you’re the one who’s sitting before him and thumbing at his prick only spurs him on.

You pout at him, and Alex lifts his chin, his next words coming out as a deep command. “Ge’ on the bed.”

“I already am,” you tease, smirking up at him playfully. Alex pulls again at your hair, the action packed with a bit more force. Your lips part as your eyes roll back into your head, and a weak whimper echoes in the back of your throat.

“’S much as I love seein’ your bratty side, minx,” Alex starts, lowering you down onto the bed. You scramble towards the top of the mattress as he knees his way onto the untidy duvet. Alex grins deviously at you, throwing one of his legs over your hips so that he’s got you trapped underneath him. His right palm lands on your sternum, fingers splayed out right beneath your throat. “Kinda had somethin’ else that I wanted t’do.”

He can’t help but to stare at the way your breasts rise and fall rapidly, and his cock lurches in his pants when he drags his hand down your body. His fingertips tickle the valley of your chest, the soft skin of your stomach, and then he shifts down your legs so that he can splay his palm flat against the front of your cotton panties.

“’S cute,” Alex chuckles, nudging the plain bow that rests on the waistband of your underwear. Your stomach is swelling and deflating with each heavy breath, and you’re sure that your skin is hot to the touch. Alex’s hand slips a bit lower, and he swears feebly when he caresses the drenched material that covers your cunt.

“You’re soaked, love!” he exclaims quietly, his eyes wide as he spreads you apart. You gulp, allowing him to maneuver you however he’d like. Alex kneels in between your legs, a hand on the underside of each thigh to keep them separated.

“Y’smell so good,” he groans, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to the elastic of your panties. His nostrils flare hungrily, and then he’s shuffling around so that he can rest flat on his stomach. He winds his arms around your thighs and places his hands on your tummy, his fingers hooking into your underwear absentmindedly.

“Gonna give it t’me?” Alex asks, his voice a mere whisper, “Gonna let me have my treat?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, fighting to keep your eyes open. Alex snickers quietly, littering wet kisses along the inside of your thighs. You twitch when he finally begins to tug your panties down your legs, the material passing over your thighs, then your knees, then your shins. Once the cloth reaches your ankles, you kick it off brusquely and watch it disappear into the darkness of your room.

Alex grins at your eagerness before settling into his previous position. He eyes your glistening folds; his pupils conceal nearly all the green in his irises. When he looks back up at you, you can feel the desire radiating from his body. He tilts his head to the side, rubbing soft circles into your hipbones.

“First time, yeah?”

Your voice catches in your throat, so you just nod. Alex returns the gesture before peering back down at your centre. You wish—more than anything—that you could close your legs. The way he stares at you makes you want to whine and curl up into a ball.

But then Alex leans forward, burying his nose into the tuft of hair at the apex of your thighs, and says, “Gonna make it good for yeh then. Gonna make y’feel so good.”

You gasp when he shoves his face into your cunt, his tongue licking a broad stripe up the length of your folds. Alex hums happily, like he’s been starving for days and the only thing he’ll ever get to taste is you. He burrows even deeper between your thighs, pressing his whole mouth against you and licking into you like you’re his last meal.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, pulling back for a moment to gaze up at you. His mouth and chin are shining in the moonlight, and his eyes are glittering gleefully. On cue, his tongue pokes out to lick along his lips, and his eyelids drift shut in bliss for only a moment.

“Taste so bloody good,” Alex praises, his voice low. “Could eat yeh for the rest o’ my life, darling.”

“Stop,” you breathe, the order being the first word to leave your mouth in minutes, “God, Alex, stop that. You—you’re getting me all—”

“Riling you up, aren’t I?” Alex grins widely, and his left eye drops into a wink. “’S okay, love, ’s a good thing. Tells me that I’m doin’ a good job.”

With that, he dives back in. Your back arches off the bed when he takes your clit in between his lips and sucks fiercely. An abrupt yelp leaves your lips, and your eyes widen as you slap one of your hands against your mouth.

“Gotta stay quiet,” Alex mumbles distractedly, because he honestly couldn’t care less at this point. He’s got you naked and writhing underneath him, and he doesn’t give a shit anymore—let them see. Let them all see how good he makes you feel.

Your father would probably shoot him without a moment’s hesitation, and Alex would let him—after he’s made you cum. He needs to see the face you make, needs to hear the mewls that spill from your lips, needs to feel the way your thighs shake around his head.

Once he’s experienced that, he’ll accept whatever tragic end fate has in store for him.

You’ve got one hand draped across your mouth, and the other is gripping the hair on Alex’s head. You gasp and yank at the tendrils, your fingers braiding through the curls roughly. The sensation makes Alex moan into your cunt, and you feel your chest tighten victoriously—so you’re not the only one who likes to have your hair pulled.

Alex continues to pluck skilfully at your folds, alternating between long licks and short, forceful sucks to your clit. Your lips part in a silent gasp when his tongue circles around your entrance, gathering the slick that’s accumulated there. He hums eagerly before slipping the muscle inside, probing at your silky walls. Your legs are positively shaking, and your abdomen is clenching spastically with each breath.

“Alex,” you hiss, feeling heat pool in your stomach, “Alex, I feel—”

“’S nice, yeah?” he asks, his nose pressing against the swollen bulb of your clit. “’S it burning properly? Feelin’ a bit tingly right there, hmm?”

He lays a hand flat on your tummy to emphasize his words. You inhale sharply and give a frantic nod, your eyes blown out with lust. Alex is still going, curling his tongue inside of you and stretching it as far as it can go. He knows that he can make you lose your mind—he’s just got to find that special place in your cunt that’ll have you seeing stars.

It’s when the tip of his tongue brushes a particularly spongey spot—and when you cry out loudly against your palm—that he knows he’s got it. He continues to stroke the area, and his thumb finds your clit so that he can rub small circles against you. Moments later, you’re falling apart beneath him, your thighs clamping tightly against his ears and your muscles quaking madly.

Alex coaxes you through your high, licking happily at your folds with closed eyes and a small smile on his face. Wet, breathy sobs fall from your lips, and he suddenly realizes that he wants to hear those sounds on a loop for the rest of his life.

He continues to rub his tongue languidly against your folds, cleaning you up with soft slurping sounds and gentle touches. He stops only when you release a quiet whine and push at his head, trying to close your legs.

“Sensitive,” you whine, and though he smirks, he respects your wishes.

He draws meaningless squiggles on your thighs while he waits for you to catch your breath. You inhale deeply, squeezing your eyes shut to try and regain your bearings. Some of your muscles are still throbbing with the aftereffects of your orgasm, but the sensation is pleasant and wheedles faint tingles up your spine.

When Alex groans and presses his hips against the bed, you remember that he’s still very hard and probably leaking into his pants. You run your fingers through his hair, pleading with him to look up at you. He does, and then you’re tugging him up and urging him to pull down his pajamas.

You plunge your hand into his bottoms, and Alex buries his face into your neck when your fingers wrap firmly around his cock. His hips jut forward against your hand, and you make a fist, slowly beginning to pump his prick. You bite on your lip, because you truly have no clue what you’re doing, but Alex seems to be enjoying it.

He’s grunting and whining into your neck, the pitches of each sound so dramatically different from each other. The position is awkward—he’s sort of leaning over you, but his body isn’t completely shielding your own. You thumb at the tip of his cock while your other hand works at tugging his pajamas down. The material becomes stuck at his thighs (they’re thick and wide, and you honestly wouldn’t mind taking a bite out of them), but it’s enough for his prick to bob out, completely exposed.

Alex hisses when the nippy air strokes his cock, but your hand is warm, and your body is even warmer, so he presses himself against your side as you continue to touch him. You deliver a steady yet tender kiss to the side of his head, and your voice is small and tentative when you utter the words.

“Cum, please.”

And then he’s groaning loudly, shoving his face against your throat and biting down on the soft skin to keep his noises contained. You watch in amazement as his cock jerks against your hand. A second later, strong ribbons of a milky white substance are spurting out onto your stomach.

“Fuckin’ shit,” Alex whimpers against your neck, his arms quivering with the strength to keep himself upright. Eventually, his limbs give out, and he slumps against your side, one of his legs thrown carelessly over yours.

Alex’s chest puffs out radically against you, his pectorals brushing the side of your chest with each viscous gasp. You stare up at the ceiling, unable to believe what’s just happened.

His cum is sticky on your stomach, and you peer down, your fingers reflexively dipping into the foreign substance. Alex watches with wide eyes as you bring the coated digits to your mouth and lick tentatively at his release. After a moment, you sink your entire finger past your lips—Alex squeezes his eyes shut and wheezes in pain.

“Christ, love,” he pants, his body feeling like jelly, “Don’ do that. Might get hard again.”

“Really?” you ask, your eyes as large as saucers when you peer over at him. Alex chokes on a raspy laugh, forcing his own eyes open so that he can study your face.

Your hair is a mess, and your cheeks are still slightly puffy (but this time, it’s for a completely different reason). You’re glowing, really, looking freshly-fucked even though Alex hasn’t gotten his cock anywhere near your cunt.

He wants to, though. Fuck, he wants to.

He reaches out so that he can cup your cheek in his large hand. You inhale deeply when his thumb begins to pet your skin softly, and then you offer him a small, satisfied smile. He chuckles, craning his neck so that he can slide his lips against yours, and you hum happily into his mouth.

He cleans you up afterwards, hoisting his pants back onto his hips and sneaking out into the hall to fetch a wet washcloth from the bathroom. You’re unable to keep the smile from your face as he silently wipes up the cum on your stomach, and he snickers when he notices that you’re staring at him.

He helps you back into your nightgown, buttoning up the first few clasps of the garment per your request. He’s cheeky (“Y’sure, love? Could just leave it undone and gimme a nice view for the rest o’ the night.”), and you roll your eyes teasingly at his suggestiveness.

You fall asleep before he does, cuddled against his bare chest with one leg slung over his hip. Alex swallows heavily as he studies your peaceful features, his fingers running softly through your hair.

He loves you, he truly does. He’s just not quite sure if he should tell you. He thinks that he might do it tomorrow morning, confessing his feelings as the sunlight streams through the window and bathes you in an angelic glow. He can see himself breaking the news to you, then, while your body snuggles into his and your eyes gleam with joy.

He nods subconsciously to himself. He’s going to do it. He’s going to tell you that he loves you. He’ll utter the words tomorrow once the two of you are roused from your sleep, and then he’ll kiss you like he can’t bear to stop, and it’ll be wonderful—the perfect morning.

That perfect morning never comes.

~*~

if you’re enjoying this series so far, please consider donating to my ko-fi! thank you bunches <3

#HERE IT IS BITCHES!!!! PLS LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK!!! #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles drabble #harry writing #WOW THIS TOOK A LOT OUT OF ME BUT HERE WE ARE #i hope it lives up to ur expectations :')) #dunkirk!au

[jessethejoyful]

another bit

Hey look another chapter! This time we focus on miss Agatha and her history with Simon and Penny bc I love them

Ao3 link cause I'm on my phone - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488646/chapters/36482463

word count: 2027

AGATHA

My parents didn’t explain anything to me until the day Simon came to stay.

We were in Grade Four together, but he’d completely disappeared from class for a whole week. Teacher hadn’t said much about his sudden absence (“Simon will not be with us for a little while; he’ll be back soon.”), so I just sort of… accepted it. So did everyone else, for the most part.

Some of the other kids liked to make fun of Simon, because we were ten years old and he could barely speak in full sentences. The most common nasty rumor was that the school had finally realized Simon was too stupid to be there and kicked him out.

I smacked one of the girls who said that.

But one afternoon, a week later, my mother came to talk to me as I was getting home from school. Helen, my nanny, had gone to make me a snack while I changed out of my uniform, and Mum came into my room and sat on my bed.

“Come sit, darling,” she had said, patting the spot beside her on my sheets. “I want to talk to you about something.” I did as she told me, hopping up beside her and leaning my head against her shoulder.

She took my hand. “You know your friend Simon, from school?”

I frowned up at her. “Yeah. I miss him, when is he coming back? Do you know?”

There was a pause, before my mother said, “Well, I do, actually. We’ve been going through some paperwork with his social worker… and he’s going to be staying with us.”

I remember I didn’t understand. “Until he can go home?”

My mother sighed. “Simon doesn’t really… have a home anymore. I don’t know how much he’s told you, Agatha, but his mother died when he was born. And now his father…” She rubbed her face, looking perturbed. “He went a bit mad and tried to hurt Simon. So the system took Simon away from his father, to keep him safe. Does that make sense?” I nodded, but I still wasn’t sure about the situation. “So Simon is going to be living here with us, now. He’ll be apart of our family. Like a brother.”

This was where it clicked. I still didn’t know how to react, though, so I just nodded again. She smoothed my blonde hair back from my face and smiled sadly. “Don’t worry too much, darling. Just think of it like an extended play date. Having siblings is wonderful, you’ll see.” Another nod, and my mother kissed my forehead. “Go ahead and change. Simon will be here this evening.” She got up and left, closing the door softly behind her.

While I changed, my mind was whirling. I was too young to really understand, I think. It took me several years to uncover the full truth of it; that David had tried to kill Simon, and had been abusing him for years before that. Simon didn’t tell me until a few years after he started living with us, which was fully understandable. That was also the reason Simon had always been so quiet at school; he’d grown afraid of speaking, because his father would hit him if he mumbled or muttered, so he chose not to speak at all.

At the beginning, having Simon living with us was difficult. He was like an injured cat, prone to lashing out, but also keeping to himself a lot. I remember keeping my own distance for a long time, talking to him when we were with my parents but starting to avoid him anywhere else, and especially at school. It had gotten out to the other kids what had happened with his father - though not the full brunt of it - and they used that against him too. While before I had been quick to defend him, by that point I was afraid of being made fun of too.

So I left him to his own devices.

As it turned out, his own devices were punching anyone who tried to pick on him. Before we moved to Grade Five, he got into six different fights. And he never won; the kids would team up on him, because they knew he’d throw the first punch, three or four against one, and then claim it was self-defense after they’d kicked the shit out of him. He was small back then, skinny and knobbly, and he never had the upper hand.

At home, when my parents would gently scold him for the fighting, he would just sit and stare. He was so despondent around us. I don’t think he really knew what to do with himself. He was so sad, and afraid, and he knew that my parents had taken him in, but he couldn’t contain the mess that was going on inside of him.

It wasn’t until we got to Grade Six that I was ready to make amends. The guilt had been gnawing at me for two years, shame over abandoning my friend when he needed me most, but I had just been a kid too. Simon reminds me of that now and then, when the guilt rises up again.

We were a few weeks into term, and the fighting had been getting worse - my parents were at their wits’ ends on what to do with him, coming home with a broken nose every other week. He’d tried to bite the court-recommended counselor they sent him to, so that quickly stopped. But I saw him, one afternoon after class, cornered in the courtyard by a few bullies.

I could recognize by then how he looked before he was going to swing: shoulders hunched forward, fists clenched, chin drawn in to his chest. He’d grown half a foot over the summer, his torso had gained mass, and I knew this fight would be different. He might win, for once, but he’d be in far worse trouble.

I’d just started across the lot when one of the other kids actually threw the first punch. It was one of the bigger boys, a tosser named Danny, and I guess he figured he had the advantage with his two cronies there, but they were both weedy and small, like rats. So I raced over, screaming and shoving myself between Danny and Simon, who both stopped swinging when they noticed me.

“Oi, Agatha, what’re you defendin’ him for?” Danny snarled, taking a step back. “Simple Simon’s just gettin’ what he needs.”

“Eat a bag of dicks, Danny,” I spat back, using a phrase I’d heard an older kid say at the store a few weeks previously, even though I hadn’t really known what it meant. I jutted out my chin, daring him to hit a girl, and he seemed to actually debate it before falling back, hissing.

“Not worth it,” he growled, turning. “Guess freaks stick together.” He and his mates slumped off, while I turned to Simon, who’d gone quiet. He was looking at me like I was some sort of aberration, eyes wide. He was bleeding freely from his nose, and there was a cut on his cheek, unbidden tears streaming through the blood and mixing together. I pulled my handkerchief from my pocket and stepped up to him, dabbing at his face when he didn’t shy away.

“Why did you help me?” he asked in his muted voice. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.

I answered simply. “You’re my brother.”

From then on, things with Simon improved dramatically. We stuck together like glue, and the fighting stopped altogether. He was incredibly protective of me, and the others weren’t as willing as Danny to hit first. They’d still lob insults at both of us, spitting rude comments at us in the halls and on the grounds, but their words didn’t touch us when we had one another.

I started going to therapy sessions with Simon, with a nice lady named Dr. Ebb who had stuffed goats shoved in every nook and cranny of her office, and who always gave us biscuits. Simon didn’t say much to her at first, but with some urging from me, he slowly started to open up. And once he started talking, it was like he couldn’t stop. Things continued to improve.

When we got to our upper years, my parents sent us to a good boarding school together. This was where we met Penny, who wound up being my roommate, which was a real experience. She was brusque and unexpected, pointedly asking all sorts of insensitive questions that for some reason didn’t bother us, but endeared Simon and I to her instead. Because she wasn’t being mean; she was genuinely curious about us and our admittedly odd relationship (She asked if Simon and I were dating, which I took to mean that she had a crush on Simon - but then she asked me out, and I gently declined, and nothing changed between us. She was the first person I told that I was asexual).

The three of us became inseparable. Penny and I had a kind of unspoken agreement between us to take care of Simon, who was prone to falling apart at random times. The fighting did stop for a long time, but there was a point during our eleventh year that he cracked a bit.

While Simon had fixed a lot of his speaking problems, and was more or less normal, a person doesn't go through trauma like he did without some lingering wounds. Small, invisible ones. Like a wicked stammer when he was nervous, or when he came across a dead bird and went into fits. There was a group of boys that took notice, and took stock, and went out of their ways to set Simon off because they thought it was amusing.

The summer before that year, he’d had another growth spurt, rounding off at just over six feet and getting even broader in the shoulders - so when the boys came after him, even four on one, he ended up on top. Victorious, nose broken, cut by a switchblade, and covered in bruises, and booted into detention for several weeks. He started doing Skype sessions with Ebb. He grew quiet again.

Penny and I stuck by him through it all - me quietly supportive, Penny loud and angry about the boys getting away with just detentions, not even as long a sentence as Simon, because he'd won. She wanted to pummel them herself, but Simon and I both talked her out of that.

One of the best things about our school, though, was the programs it offered. It was a fairly prestigious school, so it had a lot of variety and specialization in its courses of study. Simon was able to explore his interest in art, and he found a lot of peace in drawing and eventually animating. And it was clear to everyone that he had a real talent for it, so my parents gave him everything he needed to pursue it, all through high school and into uni. Penny joined him, though she followed sculpting instead of drawing, and our room always smelled like clay.

Meanwhile, I was a little sad to watch them go off to classes without me. I'd tried drawing, but it became quickly obvious I had no clue what I was doing. Which was fine, I only really tried because I wanted to be with Simon and Penny. So instead, I followed my passion for science into the biology courses, and saw less of them during our junior and senior years. But they always made the effort to include me outside of class, and we spent a lot of time in mine and Penny’s room, them sketching and creating while I made flash cards and studied very hard.

I was ecstatic when we found that the university we all wanted to attend had a good veterinary program and art program. I didn't want to admit it, but I was terrified of going off completely alone to school, though I did end up getting my own apartment while they split one. I got a dog. Everything fell into place. 

#carry on #simon snow #agatha wellbelove #penny bunce #rainbow rowell #baz pitch #art school au #writing #my writing #fanfiction #carry on fanfiction #snowbaz #for attention sorry yall #tw: abuse mention

[davidthetraveler]

1. did you actually say 'flute biscuits' in your tags?? bc if you do, i love you, you absolute dork. 2. 💬x2! :)

1.  Yes, yes I did just say that.  I use it for cursing instead of… the more obvious choice.

2.  Well, let’s see what we’ve got here.  *rustles through works*  Ah, I think I know which one I want to use.

In honor of your double ask, I’m going to share a very special excerpt from the sequel to my main story, called Changing Perspectives:  a little scene from a chapter called “Shall We Dance?”.

Be warned, this is far enough ahead in my story’s future that spoilers are very much at play here.  I’ve made sure there’s nothing too revealing, but I know some people will probably be able to glean some very spoilery information from this, so read at your own risk.

Thomas fell backinto the sectional, looking even more dejected than before.  David stared at him in surprise.

“You’re reallyserious about this aren’t you?” he mumbled.

Thomassighed.  “I just…I just don’t want tomess this up.”

David turned awayfrom him, thinking, before looking around the room.  A small smirk appeared on his face as theidea took shape in his head.  He quicklygot up and began moving the coffee table in front of the TV station.

“There, thatshould do it,” he said to himself, admiring the larger space he’d made in theroom.  Thomas just stared at him,confused.

“Uh, what are youdoing?”

“Well we need thespace if I’m going to teach you how to dance.”

“You know how todance?”

“Of course Ido.  Do you know how many balls I’ve beento?”

The reminder ofhis disastrous lesson with Roman made Thomas flinch, but David shook his headin reassurance as he came back to sit on the sectional.

“Don’t worry, we’renot going to do anything you can’t handle.”

David suddenlyfell back, asleep, and then his transdimensional form phased out and came tostand in front of Thomas, hand offered to help him up.  Thomas hesitated, but at David’s encouragingsmile, he grasped his hand and allowed himself to be pulled up and into thecenter of the room.

“Now, first thingsfirst, if you’re going to learn how to dance properly, you need to learn how tomove in a suit, not cozy bed clothes.”

Thomas looked downat his somewhat ragged appearance.  “ButI don’t have a suit.”

“Don’t worry aboutit.  I’ll take care of it.”

David began tomove around Thomas, muttering to himself as he looked him over.

“Now let mesee…let me check your size…the shade of your eyes.  I’m thinking something simple, but daringtoo.  Oh, just leave this to me, what asuit this will be!”

David stopped infront of him, and began to wave his hand, causing a swirl of blue energy tosurround Thomas’ form as David quietly chanted to himself, “Bippity boppity,bippity boppity, bippity boppity boo!”

At the last word,the energy dissipated, and Thomas was left wearing the most elegant suit he’dever seen.  The coat, pants and vest werea deep purple that seemed to shine in the lamplight of the room.  The shirt and tie beneath were a glisteningblack, and the black shoes had a polished sheen to match.

Thomas lookedhimself over in amazement before undoing the jacket buttons and doing a shorttwirl to get the feel of it before turning back to David, a genuine smile ofappreciation on his face.

“How do I look?”

David paused insilent amazement.  “You look perfect.”

“It’samazing!  And it feels so…right!”  He did a few more spins and a quick box stepas David recovered himself, resuming his more confident and collected attitude.

“I do try mybest.  Now, all we need is some music.”

David snapped hisfingers, and a flash of blue light caused the table area behind the sectionalto disappear, replaced by a small band and its conductor.

“Maestro,” Davidgreeted, bowing his head at the man in front, who returned the gesture.

“Greetings,sir.  Another dance lesson, might Ipresume?”

“You know it.  I’m actually teaching Thomas here how todance.”  He clapped Thomas on theshoulder.

“Ah, a big ball togo to, then?”

Thomas blushedbefore muttering out, “Something like that.”

“Very well then,sir.  What can we do for you?”

“We’ll need tostart with something basic and easy to follow,” David replied, snapping himselfinto his own set of formal attire.  “So,how about ‘Someone to Watch Over Me’, instrumental only, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, sir,”the maestro replied, turning to prepare the band.  “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Go ahead and getstarted, we’ll come in when we can.”

Maestro nodded,then turned to count off the band.  Asoft piano began to play the opening notes, and David moved away from Thomas toget into position.

“Now, we’ll beginwith some simple steps.  Just about everykind of couple dancing can be boiled down to these.  Since it’s your first time, I’ll go ahead andlead.  But make sure you pay attention tohow I lead, so you’ll know how to do it yourself.”

Thomas nodded asDavid reached out to take his hands.

“So, place yourleft hand on my shoulder, and your right hand in my left.”

Thomas did asinstructed.  Carefully trying to achievea firm yet gentle grip.

“Now, your feetare going to mirror mine:  when I stepforward, you’ll step back, and vice versa.”

David demonstratedby moving his right foot forward, and Thomas after a moment moved his left backto match.  David then moved his back,followed by Thomas’, before repeating the actions with his other foot, againmirrored hesitantly by Thomas.

“That’s it.  Now, follow my lead, one step at a time.”

David began totake small simple steps, carefully guiding Thomas to follow along as theyslowly moved about the space.

“See, you’regetting the hang of it,” he encouraged as he began to incorporate morecomplicated steps into the route.  Thomaswas getting anxious, and could feel himself stiffening up.

“Loosen up alittle, and don’t worry,” David said.  “I’mjust a mental projection, you’re not going to hurt me.”

Thomas took in abreath and did his best to let go of the stress and just feel the rhythm of themusic and the slight pressure from David’s hands.  Soon enough, he could feel himself fallinginto step with David.

“There you go,that’s it.”

The two continuedfor a time, mostly just moving around the room in a circle, but alsooccasionally incorporating more complicated maneuvers into the mix.  David suddenly let out a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”Thomas asked.

“You know whatthis reminds of?” David replied.

“What?”

“The Doctorteaching Seven how to dance.”

Thomas waspuzzled.  “I don’t remember a characternamed Seven on Doctor Who.”

Now it was David’sturn.  “What?  No, not that Doctor.  The Doctor from Voyager.  Seven of Ninestarted showing interest in pursuing a romantic relationship, so the Doctorstarted giving her lessons on human dating. He inadvertently started falling in love with Seven during that time, infact.  Anyway, one of the things hetaught her was how to dance.  It wasreally nice.”

Thomas smiled atthe thought as they continued to move about the space to the music.

After the song wasover, they continued with another, and then another.  After a while, David dismissed the band andset up a gramophone playing a simple piano rendition of “Beauty and the Beast”as they continued.  Thomas was feelingmuch more confident in his movements at this point, and David had even allowedhim to try leading.  There were a fewbumps, but he was soon moving like a pro.

“You are quite thequick learner,” David complimented.

“Thank you.”

“A little morepractice and you’ll be able to sweep anyone off their feet.”

“Well, I don’tknow…”

“Oh come on,Thomas, you have to admit that you are quite the charming fellow.  Any guy who got to meet you would be smitten,and this is just going to make that charm stronger.”

Thomas blushed ashe spun them around in preparation for a dip to end the song.  “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

Thomas dipped him,and as he held David, the two stared into each other’s eyes, lost in themoment.  As he watched, he thought hecould see David’s thoughts preparing to say something.  But suddenly David seemed to realize where hewas, and his expression closed off as he stood up, pulling himself out ofThomas’ arms.

“Well, I thinkyou’ve gotten the basics down,” he concluded, looking flustered.  “I think you’ll do wonderfully at the gala.”

Thomas felt hisheart drop, but forced the disappointment down as the gramophone and his suitmelted away.

“I hope so.  Anyway, I think I’ll turn in.”

David nodded as hemoved back over to his body.  Thomas wentto move upstairs, but halfway up he turned back.

“Oh, and David?”

David turned tolook at him.

“Thank you, forall of this.”

David smiled.  “My pleasure, Thomas.”

Thomas nodded andmade his way up the rest of the stairs, David watching him as he went with alonging in his heart.  “It’s always mypleasure.”

#David's Excerpts

[emeryst]

➰ ( PARK JIMIN, DEMIMALE, HE/THEY ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that EMERY STEELE?! you know them, right? they are the 227 year old SEELIE !! they’re known for being WHIMSICAL & COMPOSED - but i'd be careful if i were you because they’re also SHREWD & EGOTISTICAL.

*peeks in* hello it is I, ghost of the past here again. asdnf ok for whoever even remembers my very brief venture into this rp with this muse um sorry for disappearing life kicked me in the ass but here’s for round two!! ;; I’m actually superrr excited to get to do stuff with Em and yall pls come plot uwu

I’m gonna keep introductions to minimum-- I go by Fany, 26 years young, she/her most likely playing overwatch if you don’t hear back from me for a while. constantly melting from this damn heat my last 1.5 brain cells are doing their best O K

that’s good right.

.

.

.

yes.

so.

I’ll work on pages as we go don’t @me 

I’ve revamped this muse juuuust a tiny bit. here’s what you should know

looks 22 he’s stubborn and clings to youthfulness. sue him

tbh partially also bc people keep underestimating him and. that works to his advantage oops

goes by ‘em’ sometimes, or if you fancy using that to emery he honestly doesn’t care. some may only know him as ‘gemma’ but more on that later..

most important thing perhaps is to make it clear that emery is by no means his real name ( neither is steele ), nor the only one he has taken to using over the years, simply one he’s settled for currently. for the past, oh, 90 or so years anyway

no one knows his real name beside his mom, and the seelie queen I would assume. unless there’s a seelie ( or even a merperson ) who was around when he was residing in the faerieland

speaking of, he was born in the faerie realm and lived there for the first 20 years of his life with his mom ( 1790-1810+ )

never saw his dad much, for reasons I’m not disclosing here other than the man being an unseelie & involved in some shady dealings >_>

mom wanted to move back to korea where she had lived part of her life, naturally emery followed along mostly just to help her settle down and to see what it was like, ever the curious soul

she got her hands on some land and started a small business making lavish traditional clothes which ended up getting her a hefty sum of money over the years, while he was mostly helping and doing his own things on the side, going cross country for mundane as well as seelie business.

spent some good 30 years there before he decided to start travelling across globe. which is more or less what he been doing since then, not settling down for more than a max 10 years at a time really. now he’s been living in wilshire for a good 2 years

I don’t want to name a specific timeline for where he’s been when cause yo if anyone wants to plot something that happened in the past in whatever country/city, I’m down! mostly boy’s been in europe tho. that said he has been in wilshire before too occasionally so a past plot based around the city could be done ( as long as it’s some 30+ years into past )

oh ye he’s LOADED

how he’s maintained that is another thing. from early age he’s been extremely interested in gemstones and their qualities and all that, how pretty you could polish them & adding his own magic into the mix he begun experimenting with making sort of charms out of them in the form of jewellery and soon found a genuine passion in the craftsmanship ( mean he went to work as a proper apprentice for years and all, under different people too ) and he’s amassed a pretty nice following of people who vouch for his ‘product’ being of highest quality and materials. or at the very least have heard of him by the name ‘gemma’. we’re talking of a sort of legacy garnered along 150 years of him doing this so.

word has gotten around within the downworlders circles as much shadowhunters, everything is custom made so you wont be able to just say oh I want this kind of thing and expect him to have it on the go oh no. it would take minimum 2 weeks. and he’s a strict perfectionist so even if you were fine with him applying some shortcuts while crafting pride alone would have him refuse

first of all you have to get in contact with him, which is harder than it should be these days since he’s not exactly advertising, though has been giving out business cards to select few cause they’re fun. so unless you specifically know him as the jewellery/charm maker ‘gemma’ honestly your best bet is to ask around the shadow market and someone might direct you to him

in addition to all that, he’s made a name for himself in the mundane world too by having lines of jewellery sold in boutiques all over for the last 30+ years. rumour is he’s retired - which is true - but nothing’s confirmed cause he’s an ass

no one knows it’s emery tho now cause with that whole thing he heavily altered his looks as well as what name he slapped on that entire thing when handling business. as far as mundanes know ‘jon kim’ has disappeared off the face of earth and he ain’t doing a thing to prove otherwise

ok so

lives close enough to wilshire in this huge ass 5 bedroom house legit cost him nearly 3 million oops

but listen, he needs the space for work ( has one room just for that ) and other stuff and a decent sized yard for gardening cause he’s growing all kinds of flowers & shit. some illegal but shh

actually no he legit has a whole lot of stuff some warlocks might need so ring him up aye. nothing comes free tho jsyk ;)

also may or may not have subtle glamours and all kinds of wards set around the property but don’t you worry about those

likes his peace and quiet too but is a highly sociable person. lives off gossip no lie. mostly bc he just borED

loves going out and just having fun with people in general, experiencing new things and sights, taking in the nature etc

does still visit the faerieland often enough to know what’s happening over there, though he’s a little removed from the inner circle of the seelies’. beside visits to the queen. he yet remains loyal to her and their people regardless how close or not he is to them now ( no but give him a seelie friendo someone pls ;w; )

he actually has come back to that realm several times over the years and in between travels, usually when there’s a war going on in the mundane world and he’s just. not in the damn mood to deal with that

now he’s also just. kinda unbothered by bloodshed?? doesn’t like participating personally but has witnessed enough in his lifetime it doesn’t really phase him

sometimes to the point of being unnerving like

during these past events/plot drops you bet he’s the one in a corner still sipping a drink and watching it all go down with mild interest, and annoyance bc thanks for ruining the party. again. wont lift a finger to help either. until there’s a weapon pointed at own face. in which case better start praying.

will prob try to stare them down first bc excuse you want me to ruin this outfit you absolute heathen

see he’s been trained to fight too although he’s def not the best among faerie kind but can hold his own. it’s less of fighting more just whole lotta evading and letting his opponent tire themselves out like an idiot. bc that’s more fun

actually has no problem with seeing the clave burn down. might be aiding in that in the shadows ( has some.. questionable connections ) but like. not. directly. not in anyway that could ever be traced to him anyway

doesn’t necessarily want an all out war tho. that’d be just a hassle but he’s tIRED of shadowhunters and their righteous asses and superior attitudes. will still play nice with them ( most of the time.. some of the time. ) cause gotta keep up appearances and hey the more allies he can make the better

doesn’t have much of a problem with other downworlders. might clown them but means no ill I promise. had one nasty run in with a small group of vampires in europe back in the day which at the time left him on the verge of death and kind of shaken over the whole ordeal so. gets stupid tense when there’s more than two vampires in the same room

he’s the kind who acts being ( tentative ) friends with most everyone who he meets but no one really knows him. very guarded about his past & secrets and keeps everyone at an arms length, tho it might not feel like he’s doing that cause. yeah. it’s not out of ill will or anything. well, most of the time. he’s just careful over who to blindly trust– which is no one

likes messing with people but can be kind too. it all depends what mood he in and what energy you giving him

not exactly charitable, with money or anything but if you need help he most likely will agree to lend a hand. tho again, may not be for free

deep deep down wishes he could trust people, even one person enough to just be real with them and open and shit but also is well aware how dangerous that could be so. chooses not to act on those impulses of affection or whatever when they rise. tries not to at least

pansexual as hell. also stupidly picky so good luck with that

doesn’t do relationships anymore *addareyousureaboutthatgifhere* but who knows. prefers to keep it casual if anything does come to fruition either way

probably has a handful of enemies cause uh. kinda may have stabbed some people in the back along the way but in his defence they totally deserved it so. meh.

ANIMAL LOVER. THEY CAN DO NO WRONG.

a hoe for quality fashion don’t even get me started. his style itself is all over he place but if emery is wearing it, safe to assume it cost a fortune

needless to say he wears a ridiculous amount of jewellery too most of the time you can hear him coming a mile away. avid fan of arm bracelets

as most seelies he also has a tattoo on his face. lets just, pretend it looks something akin to the shadow curving down his cheek an trailing along left side of neck and further down collarbones in this pic aight

tho a lot of the times it would be at least partially covered by makeup, which he uses regularly anyway

has a weird obsession with the ocean, and by proxy the merpeople so any of you guys out there hmu

tech-savvy. has all the latest stuff. also plays computer/console games cause why not, mundanes never cease to amaze him with their creations. not that he’s necessarily all that good but it’s for fun who cares

kinda all around restless and needs something going on at all times, even if it’s reading a book, attending to the garden, any small things

for him the whole bond thing seemed intriguing as well as spelled trouble but emery’s all about that also he was deathly bored aight plus may have a personal mission to carry out and any chance to fuck with shadowhunters is tAKEN THANKS

bonded with @urslashdw :  the chaotic gays™

wasn’t too happy to know the bond would last longer than a couple weeks, but has turned that into an asset. well, as much as it can be one. totally using her as an excuse to get to snoop around and may or may not be mildly manipulative towards her and using the connection to own advantage when possible but. ya know. has grown attached as you do so is a little torn over it.

I’m stopping here jesus take the wheel thanks bye!

so ye if any of you wanted to plot come at me~ don’t have any proper pages up yet bc i’m tired and lazy just ask me if you wanna know something. seriously, I love rambling about my muse I promise it’s no problem at all

guess there’s a few roles I wouldn’t mind seeing filled so here’s a bullet point list if anyone gets an idea or wants to brainstorm specifics!

friends ( very broad term )

old friend/acquaintance ( someone he goes waaaay back with )

business acquaintance ( whatever it may be )

old flame ( could have ended on good or bad terms, should have taken place a good while ago. bonus points if they still have a piece of jewellery em made for them )

booty call ( for convenience sake :p )

enemies/frenemies ( i feel this is just him with most shadowhunters?????? maybe he betrayed/tricked you and you’re just endlessly bitter. but look, it’s your fault for trusting him at all. em probably feels bad about it now???? or just classic hating each other’s guts )

literally anything??!

actually gimme someone who was in europe during the whole vampire attack shenanigans and helped him out ( em would feel indebted. )

also someone who may also be okay with bringing down the clave and they lowkey vibing. but in secret.

idk man the messier the plot the louder i get for declaring my love for it so bring it babes~

also omg if I had a plot with you then you’d want to actually.. you know.. put in action now I’d be okay with that lmao

#wilshire:intro #computer crashed last night. among other things. tumblr's a little fucked for me rn yikes #also i'm gonna clean the blog later shh #wifi has been wonky too damn the forces really out there doing the most

[brokenhayatim]

comfort, control & a little light

[now playing: west by sleeping at last]

there’s a sense of me not liking being cared for bc perhapppsss i feel like i owe you something then. i don't like being indebted to people even if it doesn't seem so to you bc of relationships being “without strings”. the strings that are very much there for me will haunt me. then i feel like i owe you myself so i stay and i do something to make myself feel useful to you, maybe too much but one day, the attachment i have to you needs to be severed. the sooner the better.

i sort of knew i was a control person but it has come to my attention that maybe i do it too often. everything seems to be about control somehow and if im not on top it's too risky. and i don't win for pleasure but from on fear. that's slowly morphed into me just being me. i say i have this thing where if something isn't net balanced or me in the positive above you, i won't pursue i don't want in. it prevents growth and closed doors and prevents me from amazing things and people yeah but so what?

its also the reason i hate sudden change bc i feel not in control and when i find myself not in control, i panic and can't breathe and i want to scream shutup to everyone around me before i make a move. its not necessarily a bad thing and i don't do it to hurt people, but i can manipulate situations/outcomes really well. i choose my words, i never give too much, im cautious. my therapist says i wear masks around nearly everyone but ive been wearing them since before the third grade so we’ll have to excuse me for currently not knowing how to be a normal human and not wanting to release them..honestly, i don't know how to act without them and sometimes i wish i really really did.

when people care for you they give and what do you do? take. and i hate taking. ive been told that's all i do once - through essentially a threat - so please don't give. one of the ways people think not to give is if they don't think they can or should. u cant give comfort for pain without the pain. so maybe that's why i hate being cared for because someone else is put in control with me in pain, and i hate attachments so i’d rather you didn’t. apparently, there’s a mix of me thinking i deserve all of my pain as some punishment but..... sometimes i hate how unconsciously calculated i always am even around people i don't want to be. ive gotten so good at lying and hiding that ive just morphed into omitting so much of everything.

[cue the waterworks] i think growing up where and how i did, i really wanted people to see me for something else. i can't even tell if that was me - i blended into so many people so well. i remember the first time i felt my personality was honest for the first time in my life and that was senior year of high school. senior yea r. and then i closed up like a little bug again. i had people know and like me bc of who i showed them and it felt good. i didn't even use the word abuse till late last year. it's like this fantasy world i wanted to live in for so long caught up to me dissociating it all. if you show people your best face, they won't want to leave, right? ive lived in the negative for too long - that feeling of weakness or helplessness or always on edge for something to panic for next. so the minute i found control, i held it and i grew it and i ran away. i ran away and distanced myself from everything behind for months. sometimes i get really bad panic attacks when i think about this “independent” person falling back. then i think myself stupid for thinking i actually was this whole time. i just want to be free of it for once you know. so id rather you not accompany me to the hospital even if i died in that bed, or ask me if im okay when im in pain or ramble ten solutions for help. bc i don't want help from anyone. im fine. it's fine. i can do it by myself.

its funny how it all is. the way i think of everything first with having an expiration to plan for. i sometimes imagine ways things will end in the most realistic settings and then i imagine the blow. i make jokes about it, but im really not a long term person not in the way people deserve or need. and i like it that way, that unattached feeling of being in control, even if sometimes it doesn't end so. i never gave and took more than enough. and yet, i still blame myself. ive had the start of many relationships be of me wanting people to like me enough to be their friend and i gave them the best, some of them i still have and some not.

i met noor in a few days this month years ago and i don't think she’ll ever be able to know that she’s the single most best part of my life. and we started out with her being terrible at communication but there was always this tether of me knowing something was good here. i remember both moments i felt it and where i was. every year was just plagued with me knowing it would eventually end and she would go and it was this familiar sense of fear but almost worse. and i try to be optimistic, i really do, just not when it comes to me. i plan for the worst so it doesn't slap me in the face. i have a blind spot sometimes and that's a flaw, but i remember being less afraid and realizing that importance one day. i was just standing near the window of this backroom upstairs in the house and it was new and strange and did i mention strange? i mentioned it but i don't think it'll ever hold the weight it genuinely held in her mind - as she isn't in mine. but it felt like doing something so mundane for the first time and having it mean the world and the feeling was almost paralyzing. she’s the first person i wish i’d knocked down the wall and taken off all the masks sooner for and the only one right now. and sometimes i genuinely hate myself for it, i hate that i cant and i don't know how to and it seems so incredibly stupid bc it seems so easy but it's hard. so hard for me. you shouldn't have to struggle this hard to be something so simple to someone else, right? its hard to explain something like that. i know i protect myself but i didn't know how powerful that barrier was. how weak i seem to fight against it. sometimes i have moments of thinking this is it - the good run, and i literally prepare myself. i imagine all the worst scenarios and i psyche myself into thinking it was better for me, her, us. i have those still but not often. and it's crazy, right? that ‘not often’. i don't have a flight or fight response bc im used to fleeing, in the good, the rocky and the bad. i don't stay and fight when it comes to me, but i fight for us a lot. ive fought for people before and lost, mostly because i purposefully come to battle with just my hands. it was a weak attempt i knew wouldn't last. but i want to be better and i want to fight better, or maybe just stay longer on the battlefield and take the beatings. but at least im there. at least i haven't given up and gave it all i had. it might not be all im worth and i may still keep some weapons at bay, but with what i got, i want to give it my all. sometimes i write something and delete it twelve times when i want to ask for help or seek some sort of comfort; but im also used to not feeling important enough to receive that, even though i know that won't happen. sometimes when i don't get what i want or can't control that, i retreat and never say anything. she’s tough and i love that about her. but im also used to falling weak to tough people and sometimes the smallest things hurt or scare me bc i have those burns. i think im less in control around her and its scary for me bc im not used to that. but im also strangely okay with that bc i feel safe for once. i feel more than safe. and that means nothing more than something sappy i know. but when you grow up with violence in your home and on your mind, it feels so nice to just have that not in your heart for a minute. its something of light and she’s given me many minutes that i don’t deserve. that’s why i love her name. bc it is her by every definition in every way. i would love to be my name that i say i love, but im not there. and i don't know if ill be someone that heals if im still living in this body. but, if she isnt the best part about me..i don't know what it is. she’s my best friend. i would give her all the keys and she would be the first person to walk through the doors of this haunted house - fearlessly in the dark with a borrowed lantern still held near her heart.

#i was crying thru half of this but ill proofread one day #asiya's thoughts

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #1: “"So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy!" - Brian

is it time to die already? a fake tribe was taunted, the tribe is split half US half europe so that is going to be a pain, its 1:40am as i write this and in all honestly i just want to sleep and coast till merge. bet that won't be happening tho RIP me and dig me in a grave huh. Oh and I thought I knew the keaton but I didn't lol. I am MESS

It’s really good to be playing a game again. My goal for now is to try and bond with my tribe and hopefully make alliances to keep me in the game. Right now talking to Dennis. He seems really cool, wouldnt mind working with him.

So just from the start i can already tell these players I'm with are easy going for the most part... I over all really like the tribe and can see a very solid chance that I can work with a lot of them if not all! But for the sake of this confessional having value... I'd also like to add that I'm worried that due to the laid back tribe (atm) that I might have a hard time building the connections to get in an alliance without making it due to the fact making an alliance is a very bad idea early on!

Okay so let's just get some thoughts out of the way My tribe is...interesting. I LOVE BRIAN. Well actually I love his boyfriend but still a great foundation from my side to work with him because I know he is a super sweet guy. Dennis is weird. I want to work with Nicole just because I like to work with womana because it brings me closer to God. Everyone else is irrelevant. Absolem is okay. Nathan is hilarious. He better not flop because I want to be best friends. Annabelle is the love of my life. But we did just play an ORG together that got a little messy...so idk how willing to work with me she is. Jayden said things about sports so there is no chance of us being friends. And...everyone else is irrelevant. Madigan: I stan Matt. He had the best intro out of all of us. He's a nut and I love that. I thought I knew who he was...but it turns out he's a different Keaton...and now I'm confused by the popularity of that name...Anyways, BC be still my fucking heart in an ANGEL and I want to be friends. Marie is a star in my ORG community and I always stan her. So I lowkey love this tribe and I wish i was on it. Overall...I'm ready to get this game going.

Okay so i'm normally super good at Selfie Scavenger Hunts...but this one is tough. There are a lot of hard items on here. And because it's Day 1 I don't know if I can rely on anybody on my tribe to pull their weight...guess we'll find out.

Okay I jumped the gun on Dennis. He's not weird. And he seems like he'll be a good tribe member. Not too interested in working with him, but hopefully we win a bunch and that won't matter.

so the cast is cool so far from what i saw a mix of a few faces i recognize and a few i don't which is cool because i play best when i don't know anyone i think so we'll see how this goes hopefully we win immunity and there's nothing to worry about!!

Okay so I really might have judged my tribe too soon. Charlie is a drunken riot. And Maynor seems really chill too. We have a good group. Now let's just hope we're good in challenges.

First impressions: jayden: bad music taste but likes tea kind of hard to talk to but i will get the best of him annabelle: league player?? we stan!! nathan: played once before him dont remember if we were allied but um likes drag race wooh ignored me to go watch it https://66.media.tumblr.com/0640fc1858852ee803cc45252f782259/tumblr_pk6xsgLbtq1szcwcho1_1280.png cole: said "omg ur the cole from skype love ur lipsyncs" they said yes. turns out thats not them. why lie??? nick: seems fun idk

I think my tribe is very cute ! I can already see that a couple of them are big suck ups but I hope I can use that to my advantage. I low key want to go to tribal council but I think the safest thing to do is try our best as a tribe for this first challenge and not seem weak! So I will try my best

So yay Selfie Scavenger Hunt. My favorite... I should be fine if I play a solid social game and dont score too low (right?) Also me and Nick same tribe we runnin this shit.

I like my tribe so far it's the most active tribe I have had by far.  The challenge is pretty good though and I hope we can win it and be safe.

So day 1.  This is... ahh... I'm so nervous for this game!  I have been looking so forward to playing this, but I just feel like it's going to be a rocky upward battle to make it deep... I'm trying to relate and talk to these people, and I feel like I can maybe do it with some of them... but I also know I'm like "WIGGG" and "TEAAA" and "SHJDGJHDGJ" all the time, and I just don't know if this is the tribe to act like that around... I also don't really have anyone to fully confide and trust in.  I do have people like Marie on the other tribe, but I just... ahh....

Ladies and gents, I want you to know that I refuse to go home pre-merge, and I will fight tooth and nail to make it to merge and then day 39... even if it requires me to grow up and act like a real human... I will do my best... I don't wanna let y'all down, but I also don't wanna let myself down.

So like after my antics last night, I feel like I am in a good shape. My intro amused many on my tribe which is good, and they all like me, which is EXTRA good! I feel like im on the cusp of something atm, but i am still wary of course. BC and James are my faves atm, with Marie and keaton also. But Marie, Keaton and john aren't really giving me anything but i am still gonna try. Im here to F****** win (or at least make jury but we shall see about that LOL)

this tribe in a nutshell me: "alright guys! super excited to play some Survivor with you all!! woohoooooo lets do this yeah!!!!!!" BC: "yeah!! I also like to do the surviving!!!" matt: "yeah LMAO" keaton: "..." marie: "..." john: "...okay but have you considered: Skyrim"

idk what's up with this tribe. am I setting my expectations too high? did I do something to piss everyone off?? I just want to play survivor but no one seems to want to engage with me.

BC's the only reason I'm sane atm. he's a sweetheart, we've had a few fun chats already and he seems like good company. we've gotten on the same page and realized that we're probably the two chattiest players on the tribe and should stick together. Matt isn't awful. he's funny, and I can just meme at him most of the time and he seems fine with that. wish I could get a little more out of him though. I'll give Marie a pass because she's been legit busy and hasn't had much of a chance to respond to stuff. from what little I've heard from her she seems nice. apparently she's new to discord survivor just like me, so I might be a little biased in wanting her around. I wanted Keaton to be great - he's a Kirby, I'm a Kirby, so we already had something working for us. but he's not giving me anything to work with. I'll bring something up to talk about and he'll shut it down almost immediately, in a way that makes me worried I'm getting on his nerves or something. idk, maybe our personalities just clash? but atm with Keaton my mood is zzzzzz and then there's John. I get the impression that John just doesn't give a shit. he spent all of the first night playing skyrim and ignoring me, and he hasn't said much of anything to me today. his intro and his rant show that he knows how survivor works, so why isn't he putting any effort into talking? idgi. :/

soooooo yeah that's this tribe. BC and I have teamed up, we've talked about roping in Matt as a third sometime soon. I wanna give Marie a chance as well, even talking to her tonight she's not that bad. but I'd probably be fine with voting out Keaton whenever, and I want John to go asap.

I was called Keaton from Facebook and mistaken for Maria on my tribe. This game is going great for me so far.

So far making bonds with Brian, Charlie, Dennis, and Sharky (Matt). I genuinely like them. No game talk just yet. But i wouldnt mind alligning with them. Havent talk to Nicole yet. So i need to start. Hopefully we are good and win this first immunity.

Okay top of Day 2. We're plunking away at this challenge. It's weird because since we all have our own lists we aren't talking very much... Charlie, Nicole, and Maynor are still yet to upload anything so I hope they get it together soon.

I feel like my tribe is being lazy rn like I did three tasks and I gave up because i only saw one other person doing shit!  and they can GOOO if they are going to be like that! OVER IT

no one pm's me first and when i pm them i have to keep the conversation going and it stops after like 5/10 minutes so um thats fun. really hoping we win immunities until a swap or sth. or maybe we intentionally matsing and then i just get rid of all the ppl who GHOST me. the only person who had a real conversation with me today was jayden and even that was super short and ended with him leaving me on read so um.. i guess im just super popular obviously. reading this back its gonna look so cringe NNN but this is how i FEEL

Ok so another update! So today I approached Bryce who seems like a amazing guy and I asked if we could work together and he said yes! So I hope this is a relationship that can last

I still feel kinda... like an outsider looking in.  It's only day 2, but I just feel like I have so much I need to change about my social game already.  I'm normally a crackhead when talking to people and can find those one or two people to be crackheads with, but I think I literally have to go through a complete change in order to succeed.  I need to be more ... adult?  If that makes sense...

So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy!  I need to just be cool and casual and normal and not be the uber obsessive Ariana stan I normally am or... "wig" this... I know I touched on this in my first confessional, but it's even more true now... I'm finding talking to some of these people a lot more challenging because I have to kinda flick on the normie switch.

Ahhh... this is going to be one hell of a ride��

Honestly I am REALLY happy where i sit in this game. I have a solid alliance of 3 with BC and James which is already good. I have a feeling we will end up at tribal, however I am not too worried because i feel like there will be some clear targets like Keaton or John. Marie is kind of laying in the middle but I know what a good player she can be so im keeping my eye on her.

Honestly I am REALLY happy where i sit in this game. I have a solid alliance of 3 with BC and James which is already good. I have a feeling we will end up at tribal, however I am not too worried because i feel like there will be some clear targets like Keaton or John. Marie is kind of laying in the middle but I know what a good player she can be so im keeping my eye on her.

Ooo girl. Do I have tea for you? LMFAO. I would make a video, but I have a lot to talk about, so you'll have to read for now.

where to even start? like LOL I guess I'll start with... this tribe fucking sucks. Literally can't stand it. And b4 someone says... "ew bboy it's b/c you don't have anybody you know huh??? you relying on meta!!!" no it's not because of that. well, sort of...

i play these games to meet new people so being on a tribe of new people doesn't phase me too much. it's that i don't like it when the tribe is inactive. like half of the people don't talk to me so it's kinda hard to do a cast analysis but I'll do one then get to the tea.

keaton: nothing really to say about him cuz I don't know him. I literally messaged him and it was SOOOOO hard to hold a conversation with him. then, I confused him with marie cuz he was kinda forgettable. thank you, next john: girl bye. idk if there's something wrong, but like john literally does not message me. and like i'm fine it's ok whatever, like i'm fine i'm fine I'll be fine, but still girl... seriously??? I would say "hey john! how are you doing?" and he'd be like "good." HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH THAT? LAGHALHG marie: I actually like her a lot. we get along prob cuz we're both similar - she's quirky, I'm quirky. quite the combo. we don't have any set alliance or anything, but I definitely don't want her to leave before dem inactives -.- matt: I like him... enough. he's cool and we chatted for a bit yesterday and the first day. there really isn't anything else to say but he's kinda fun??? i guess idk laghlahg but yeah there's that james: i'm prob the closest to him on the tribe. we just vibe so well together and I really do like him a lot. he's funny and chill and he was the one who initiated the alliance, to which I was like "yess girl add me in!!!" idk what else to say, because although matt/james have been more active, I jjust haven't had many convos with them individually yknow

but the little alliance we have going on is cute. <3 the name = Transcontinental Trio. It prob won't last (just being honest) but if it can get me past these few couple of rounds before the swap, I'll take it. my goal right now is to win these next few challenges and hope we don't have to go to tribal before the swap. if we do, I'd rather see john leave before keaton, because I think there's a relationship to work with keaton whereas I don't see one with john unfortunately

the tea that I have to spill is really just bitching about my tribemates I mean come the FUCK on y'all!!! wtf is the point of joining an ORG and then not talking to anybody. like does that make any fucking sense??? literally like... nnnn what is the matter with you? John infuriates me b/c like bitch if you don't have time sweetie, stick to playing Skyrim or w/e the fuck you play. my mood was when he sent us a pic of something happening in the game (idk what it was it looked dumb af) and literally NO ONE replying. like yes stick to his boring ASS!!

on top of all of that, no one (excluding my alliance) talks about anything of substance. like sure it's only been 3 days but y'all can at least find SOMETHING to talk about. i'm just so goddamn frustrated

that's it. I'm tired of bitching. i'll confessional again after results. hopefully we win or imma have to pop a bitch.

Okay we're closing in on the challenge deadline! I've gotten a ton of points. Dennis/Brian/Maynor all also posted a bunch so I'm hoping this is enough to keep us safe. Idk what Nicole is doing? But she better post something. ANYTHING really.

Where is Nicole? Like...girl, are you good? Wtf

omg so. based on nathans and nick's talking in the tribe chat they seem to know each other/mutual ppl. i will break their bond and make sure they want to work with me instead of each other. even if nathan hates pm'ing me and nick was fine to talk for a bit yesterday but today seems to hate me!

The scores are locked in. Hopefully we had enough points to keep us safe but Nicole didnt turn anything in. Hopefully nothing too bad happened. But i think if we do lose, maybe Nicole being first boot isnt too bad. Hopefully everyone thinks the same.

Okay so we demolished. Lucky for Nicole because she didn't contribute at all. And she didn't tell us she was abstaining. I'm sorry...you didn't have time to take a selfie with your cat? Bye.

MY MIND IS SO BIG AT 1:20AM. Right ok so to catch the confs up, James BC and myself have made an alliance called the transcontinental trio (An iconic name ik) so like im really happy that exists. THEN we somehow win immunity, even though Marie and John both had single digit scores LOL. like wow didn't know we could do that. then anna announces the idol system, and i fully expect too like not get far so i do it anyway. 4 mins later and i HAVE A FUCKING IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE BITCH WTF. I AM SO FUCKING SHOOK ITS UNREAL. I have been playing orgs for 1 1/2 years now and like I have never been able to find one! and now i do???? Jesus Christ maybe this IS my Game!

not to overreact but i want my entire tribe to go home. i had to PLUCK egg shells out of my VERY CURLY hair like i was some monkey picking ticks. i took an egg, a poor chicken would be, and used it not for nutrition. but for "fun". and its all for NOTHING. but thats ok. everyone keeps saying bc i carried i should be safe and like yes. but the REAL reason i should be safe is that its like im the only person on this tribe who wants to socialize at all!! also this idol system is so fun love choose ur own adventure type stuff. sad how i flopped first try tho.. but in 24 hours catch me with the idol! or catch me as first boot. someone just catch me im falling FAST.

This immunity is great because it gives me time to build better friendships without pressure of a vote. Charlie seems to like me, he wants to share idol guesses which is cool with me. That probably also means he'll tell me if he gets an idol which is powerful info to know. Also I won some cookies on my search. I hope they're oreos. But I'm curious as to what they'll be good for.

So....Charlie found the idol...and he told me. So guess I'm working with Charlie now. Because I want to keep tabs on this idol.

https://imgur.com/ZrG7wNV clearly doesnt realize ive never met a girl i didnt want to ally.

So we lost the challenge! Are we surprised? NOOOO AHHAHA! *sighs* anyways I think i have the numbers to get anabelle out, sorry not sorry

First tribal then Walrus is a bitch. I hate this game

i want to vote jayden out but annabelle and cole did worse in the comp so it might be hard so awk.. like nick wants annabelle out and he told cole that so its kind of over for her huh this is so sad i refuse to be on a tribe full of MEN

So far so good I really hope we can continue this momentum and I hope I can last 6 more days until the 20th of January and then I get to be two ages in one org which I have never done yet.

BC has brought me and Matt into an alliance (Transcontinental Trio!). BC is like the obvious alpha on the tribe and I’m kinda fine with that? At least I hope BC looks like a bigger threat than me, I don’t want that label lol. Matt is super charismatic, we’re finally talking regularly/about the game. He’s probably the scariest person on the tribe just because he’s so damn likable.

Keaton’s opened up a little. We bonded over thinking that we were the only ones hearing nothing from John lmao. Our first vote will probably wind up being Marie or John. I don’t want to push buttons too early, but if I get a chance at a clean shot at John I’m taking it.

So we lost the challenge which is terrible but I got the legacy advantage which is great! I’m worried ppl r voting me but that’s could be just my paranoia so ima stick to my plan of waiting for a name to be said

We won immunity and it feels great. Hopefully we could just go on an immunity run and stay safe till swap happens. I need to start making my talks with people go to game talk but maybe not as fast skmce we are safe.

edit: I really need to start watching the movies. Choose your own adventure like Idol systems always require background knowledge.

We won the first challenge and I'm so happy because I could've been voted out if we lost! This is my first Tumblr org so I'm completely lost and I accidentally told Matt that I knew Bryce from the other tribe so yay... that put a target on my back I think so hopefully we just keep on winning!

I don't have too much to update on, but I'm so glad that we aren't going to tribal because highkey I'd be in so much trouble... I've been in an emotional rut so the communication has been rough.. but we won so I have time to enjoy my tribemates in some conversations and make them love me…

Cole like what are you doing bro. Also I assume Keaton and Dennis are running shit on the other tribes.

Wow so I gotta say I am seriously impressed by this cast. I don't really know anyone and there are only 2 other people from EM... is this for real lol?? Seriously though I'm so happy to finally be playing an org with so many new people!!

Ok so first impressions of my tribe. I've already embarrassed myself by sending drunk videos to every single member of my tribe bar Nicole who wasn't online at the time.

Dennis- Easily my fav so far. I feel like we click so well and I've already talked to him way more than anyone else. Really hope I can go far with him.

Brian- Ok so I've seen this guy around on facebook and he seems funny and really nice! Our convos have been fun so hopefully we can develop a good relationship from here!

Maynor- He likes Charlie the unicorn. Therefore I like him.

Sharky- Haven't talked to him so much yet, but he seems cool and I know he was an early boot in KC.

Nicole- Haven't talked to her yet at all.

Ok so my tribe mates are KILLING this challenge! It's been difficult for me to take part cos of being up in London, but I need to add more stuff to the list lol. Otherwise we could lose, and I'll probably get blamed... eeeek.

WE WON!!! I can't believe it!! I'm so FUCKING HAPPY right now. One of our tribe mates abstained and we still won by over 200 points.. crazy shit

https://youtu.be/_LqWkiWMQw8

so we are about to go to tribal in about an hour and I think we have a plan sorted, I know nathan is saying my name and I will get votes BUT what the plan is that myself,bryce and annabelle vote jayden, jayden votes nathan and the other two will prob vote myself so we will get a 3-2-1 and jayden will go! lets hope

ok so i was out all day. and barely on. but i tried forcing jayden out bc he ignores me and i hate him. but NO. cole is cracked and when itell him to talk to nathan to secure his vote. he instead wants to vote him, then leads to jayden telling nathan that cole wants him out. so now he has no shot. bye bye cole this is sad but u so overplayed NNN glad queen annabelle is safe tho!

Cole is voted out 5-1.

#episode #allmadhere