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chokemeanakin · 4 years

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Can you do a cuts & bruises imagine where the reader comes home to Anakin from a mission & she's all scraped up, and then Anakin's all like, "baby 🥺, let me make you feel better, " and he like kisses all her bruises while running his fingers through her hair 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

It’s not exactly what you requested but... 😂 anyway I hope you enjoy ❤️

(Ps jelly toast fucking slaps idc what anyone has to say)

Masterlist

Read it on ao3

Anakin Skywalker x gn Reader Whump

Reporting back to the Council directly after your mission to the Vagaba System was hell. Your sides ached with every breath you took, legs barely able to lift from the floor in order to walk. Not to mention your clothes were wet and sticking to you in odd places, probably blood but you weren’t too sure. The constant pain hammering through your body with every move you made overshadowed every other thought you had.

Of course, Yoda and Master Windu picked up on your troubles almost immediately. They urged you to go to the medbay, but you were an avid ‘deal-with-it-yourself’ type of person. You weren’t hurt too bad anyway, a couple of bruises weren’t going to kill you. The injured soldiers from your mission needed all the help they could get without you taking up time and resources begging the medics for an ice pack.

You knew Anakin would be pissed if he found out you’d skipped on getting help again, especially after last time when you almost passed out from blood loss after a bomb sent shrapnel straight into your face. Although you had completely healed from that— thanks to the remarkably advanced technology of Coruscant’s medical system— he hadn’t forgotten the way you dragged blood through the temple halls as he whisked you away to get help. He made you promise to ask for assistance if you ever got hurt again, and you had begrudgingly agreed...

But to the degree of your injuries, he had not specified.

That’s why you found yourself shuffling down the halls of the Jedi temple now, on your way to the room the Council allowed you to occupy, trying to get your aches and pains under control so you could act okay in front of Anakin. You knew he’d be waiting for you, as he always did when you came back from missions. But it was late, and if you were lucky maybe he’d already be asleep, and you would be allowed to fix yourself up without him ever having to find out...

Wishful thinking, you groaned inwardly, forcing yourself to stand up straight as Anakin opened the door before you could even touch the keypad.

And oh, was he mad.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you narrowed your eyes.

Damn, it was good to see him. Even with that pissed off look on his face, he looked as good as ever dressed in those loose pants he wore to bed, with nothing else but a robe on, left untied to expose his toned abdomen, hair perfectly messed up, metal arm glinting in the soft orange light...

Side-stepping him to get into the apartment, you ignored the daggers he was sending your way and headed for the couch so you could take off your stiff, uncomfortable boots. Anakin folded his arms across his chest and followed your movements with a cruel, calculating gaze.

“You’re limping.”

“I’m just a little sore,” you rolled your shoulder.

“There’s blood on your shirt.”

“It’s not mine.”

Thank god the fabric was thick enough to conceal the worst of the damage. You could feel the warm liquid drip down your skin in some places, although it had slowed considerably since you’d received them after getting the crap beat out of you by Mon Eila, a Separatist General with a passion for boxing.

It had been a small mercy he had managed to avoid hitting your face.

“Y/n,” Anakin stalked over to stand right in front of you. Usually his angry face scared you, but right now you knew it was just to cover up the concern he felt. “I can sense you’re in pain. Tell me where you’re injured.”

You rolled your eyes, yanking off your boots one after the other and tossing them over the back of the couch unceremoniously. “Is it too much to believe I could get away from a mission unscathed for once?”

“Seeing as how you couldn’t even water your houseplant without slipping on a puddle and spraining your ankle, yeah, I find it pretty hard to believe.”

You frowned and leaned back into the couch, hissing inwardly at the pain it sent through your bones. “I find that pretty sexist, and I request you make me some peanut butter toast to make it up to me.”

Anakin grabbed for the cloak you still had draped around your shoulders, meaning to move it so he could see some evidence of your injuries. You caught his wrist, and although he could have overpowered you, he let you stop him.

“Oh my god, it’s not like the Mighty Galactic Jedi Council chose me out of the hundreds of other trained assassins to do their bidding, it’s not like they trust me to carry out missions for them alongside the rest of the Jedi, it’s not like I’m the one who blew up that weapons factory and freed the planet of Koiwishi from the Separatist fleet trying to enslave them—“

“Okay, okay,” Anakin pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and sighed heavily. “I’m sorry for doubting your skills, that’s not what I meant.”

“Good,” you grabbed for the tv remote and flipped it on solely for a distraction. “Then go make me some toast and I’ll think about forgiving you.”

Anakin flattened his stare and shook his head all the way to the kitchen. “Since when did you get so bold?”

You pretended not to hear him, and instead took the moment of privacy you had to slowly lift up the bottom of your shirt to assess some of the damage. Blue and purple painted your abdomen in angry, swirling blossoms, only interrupted by the streaks of drying blood from the places your skin broke. Mon Eila was pretty nifty with a dagger too, you remembered, and he’d managed to catch you a couple times with the blade. Once on the side, and once on your thigh. Now that’s one you weren’t excited to see.

You ghosted your finger over a particularly bad bruise over your rib cage, where the blood pooled an angry red underneath your skin. You knew you’d been hit quite a few times, but god damn you didn’t think it’d be this bad...

“Hey, we’re out of peanut butter, is it okay if I use jelly instead—“ Anakin stopped dead in his tracks.

“It’s not that bad,” you swallowed quickly. Your shirt remained half up after your failed attempt to rip it down as he walked in from the kitchen, the blueish-purple skin looking worse and worse as the seconds ticked by and Anakin did not say anything. “It doesn’t even really hurt that much.”

Anakin stayed silent and turned on his heel to walk back into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with various bags of ice and a first aid kit.

“Lay on your back. Now.”

Well when he says it like that...

You did as told and had the decency to look a little ashamed. Resting your head on the armrest, you let him push your shirt up to reveal the patchwork of bruises staining your skin. His eyes flit from place to place, taking it all in while stewing in silent anger.

“I’m fine, Ani,” you tried to defuse the situation, reaching for an ice bag and placing it on your stomach to hide your injuries. “Look, that’s about as much as you can do about it anyways.”

“You’re bleeding,” Anakin’s fingertips traced the open wound beneath your ribcage. “Stay still.”

You folded your hands over your chest and stuck your bottom lip out thoughtfully as you felt Anakin clean your cut with an alcohol cloth. It stung, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you were in pain.

“I would never be satisfied knowing you’re in pain.”

“Hey, stay out of my head, Skywalker,” You searched for the bracelet he had gifted you early on in your relationship, the one that could shield your thoughts from any Jedi mind tricks. Your eyes landed on it across the room, by the windowsill. You didn’t know when, but at some point he must have been able to slip it off without you noticing.

“Well since you think it’s okay to lie to me, I thought I’d have to take matters into my own hands.”

He spread antibacterial ointment over the cut and then pressed a bandage over the wound. You took the ice off and dropped it to the floor, wincing as you pushed yourself into a sitting position with your elbows. Anakin pushed you back down to the couch gently by the shoulder.

“I’ll get you your bracelet in a moment,” his tone softened, reading the distress in your mood as clear as day now that your thoughts were wide open to him. “Let me just take a look at your leg first.”

“It’s not fair. You said that if I can’t read your thoughts, you shouldn’t be able to read mine.”

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” Anakin placed the bag of ice back on your bruised abdomen. “I just don’t know why you had to lie to me in the first place.”

You didn’t know how to put it into words, how to explain to him your insecurities around asking for help. If you admitted you needed assistance for something as simple as a couple scratches, it made you feel weak— like a useless, vulnerable excuse of a person. It was especially embarrassing needing help from Anakin Skywalker himself, The Chosen One, the Hero With No Fear, famed General of the Clone Wars, who literally got his arm cut off after escaping an execution at the hands of a Sith Lord that one time. You didn’t see him asking for help then— granted he had passed out, but still.

Showing weakness, especially in front of the people you loved, was a feeling you have been running from your entire life.

One look at Anakin’s face, and you knew you didn’t have to say anything in order for him to understand. He closed his eyes and leaned down to press his lips to the exposed skin of your hip. His touch was feather-light, barely brushing you as to not disturb the bruise underneath.

“You don’t need to prove anything to me,” he muttered against your skin. “You’re already the strongest person I know.”

“I will be, once I can sit up without wanting to die,” you shifted your body, gasping and halting your movements when a piercing pain shot through your ribs. This made Anakin’s eyebrows draw down in concern, warm palm holding your waist to stop you from moving.

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt much.”

“You should know by now I was lying about that too.”

Anakin took a deep breath and opened a pill bottle. He dropped a couple tablets into your hand and then passed you a cup full of water.

“You think you can lift your hips for a couple seconds so I can get your pants off?” He paused at your thoughts. “For your open wound, not that.”

“See, it’s not fair! I couldn’t control that one, it just popped into my head.” You huffed but shifted your hips upward like he asked, abs screaming in protest. He managed to sneak his fingers beneath the waistband and tug your pants down your legs before you dropped back to the couch, hissing in pain.

“Damn, he got you good,” Anakin thought aloud, already wetting the cloth with more alcohol. “This might sting.”

‘Might’ was putting it lightly. A slurry of curse words filled your head as he dabbed at the gash on your leg, spanning from your hip to your upper thigh area. It was deep enough to scar, bubbling and oozing fresh blood as Anakin tried his best to clean it out. Even his cheeks turned pink from your colorful choice of words.

“Stitches?” You forced through grit teeth, nails digging into the couch cushion.

He dabbed at it some more, pondering your question. “I think you got lucky with this one. If it doesn’t start healing in a couple days, we’ll take you to the medbay.”

“Fantastic,” You wheezed, wanting so bad to kick your leg out and escape the terrible stinging. Anakin’s grip on your leg tightened, knowing exactly what your intentions were.

“There, all done,” he discarded the cloth and got to work soothing the cut with some ointment. He finished off by smoothing a large bandage over it, sitting back once it was all over. “Now how’s the bruising doing?”

Your head lolled to the side, exhausted from being in so much pain. “Still bruised,” you muttered. In fact, the ice was starting to melt and your skin was becoming uncomfortably numb and red. You took the ice off, wincing at the gruesome sight of your body again, and pulled your shirt down to cover it. “I think I’m ready to just sleep for the next 10 years.”

“Here,” Anakin slipped his hands beneath your legs and your back. With a grace only taught to the Jedi, he lifted you into his arms doing his best not to jostle you around, carrying you towards your bedroom. “You still hungry?”

You gave him a thin smile, all the answer he needed. He kissed your head as he set you down carefully onto the bed, pulling the blankets up over you. Before he left, he slipped something over your wrist— the bracelet.

The pills Anakin gave you must have included a sleep-inducing one. You were glad for the bracelet, as you made a mental note to kick his ass later for drugging you— but then again, it was doing a phenomenal job of taking your pain away now. You barely managed to stay awake before Anakin came back into the room, bearing gifts.

Jelly toast had never tasted better.

He sat beside you on the bed as you ate, carding his fingers through your hair and playing with the baby hairs surrounding your forehead. His fingertips tickled your skin, warm and soft, lulling you to sleep even further. You ended up falling asleep with half a slice of toast left in your hands. Anakin smiled softly and put it on the bedside table for when you woke up, switching off the lights with the force so you could get some good rest.

#anakin skywalker #anakin fic #star wars prequals #anakin #starwars #anakin fluff #soft anakin #protective anakin #anakin skywalker x reader

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juni-ravenhall · 3 years

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also theres this thing mildly related to enneagram that i think ppl should rly know about (i think its one of the more important personality analysis things after mbti - by which i mean functions ofc, not the 16p names)

3 instinctual variants, its called other things too but idc. it basically has to do with what your social preferences are, what comes naturally to you - taking care of yourself and managing alone, introspection and exploring your own internal world (self preservation, SP) - one on one intimacy, close connections to individual ppl/creatures (sexual, SX, it doesnt mean ‘sexual’ in the literal sense, just a weird name for ‘intimate’) - and one for connecting with your ‘tribe’, the ppl around you, groups, society (SO, social).

you have all 3 of these to some degree but the order is what matters. if youre a very social person who loves being on discord servers or big groups of friends or parties irl, prob “SO” is one of your 2 first of these variants. if youre really closed off from others and prefer doing things on your own, prob “SP” is one of your first ones.

as an example for me, im sx/sp/so. my SO is last bc its extremely minimal and useless (i cant handle big groups or anything at all, i only care about connecting w ppl on an individual intimate level). i think my SX is first bc im veeery focused on those individual intimate connections, i love talking to individuals in depth and getting to know ppl in a deep way, and i prefer having my partner by my side always and having secondary close friendships with a few ppl. my SP is relatively ok in that i can handle being alone well, i definitely prefer being alone and working alone to being in groups, and being alone doesnt exhaust me like being in groups does, and i absolutely introspect and explore my brain and feelings a looooot, but what rly makes me happy and feel good is having a few very close connections and stability in those.

#personal #psychology

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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years

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oh my god im sorry but i HATE reading analysis discourse so fuckgin much. its so annoying and unnecessary and cruel bc per usual ableists just Scream over everyone and manipulate the view by focusing on the wrong points. disrespect towards this issue is never gonna work and yall would get that if you actually listened to the way the (usually nd) people felt about it and why, but ur too busy mocking them so you look good for consuming the Proper Medias tm. i mean you literally have to know this isnt productive, yall keep going bc you get a kick out of laughing at ‘unintelligent’ people.

‘uu ur teachers didnt oppress u by making u read to kill a mockingbird instead of the hunger games” ok listen 1. media you dont personally care abt can still definitely hold depthful value and be analyzed. oh my god lmao. the people who prefer ~that kind~ of media arent stupid and dont prefer easy thinking, its your own fault for Not looking into it yourself and just assuming its worthless, literally judging a book by its cover. LITERALLY avoiding the analysis skills you claim to have by assuming anything you read in highschool = smart, valuable and anything mainstream = stupid and useless. most books inherently contain symbolism and morals, a lot of these people CAN understand it, theyre just criticizing the inaccessibility of the writing that was forced on them academically. the people analyzing those medias instead of your favs are still taking in lessons even if they prefer to do it in a different format, i mean for instance THG is literally about fucking classism and racism and war you dumb hypocritical tunnel vision bitch, young adult media usually has a Lot of real world parallels in it that very much pertains to how teens see the world, thats the literal POINT, just cuz ur too elitist and dont respect children enough doesnt mean some books are ‘too stupid’ to analyze with any real social value, and 2. A BOOK NOT BEING EXCITING... OR EASY TO UNDERSTAND... IS LITERALLY SMTH VALID TO CRITICIZE IN MANY CASES, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GIVING IT TO CHILDREN.... if a kid says “this is boring/too long/uses words that i dont know, so i cant make any sense of it” that doesnt always mean theyre lazy or w/e, if its not a book made for kids (bc kids can understand mature themes but that doesnt. mean you can just throw all the other skills they arent experienced with yet at them, they still need writing tailored to them), Thats your first problem, but sometimes ur book is just fucking boring all together. a book can have as much symbolism as it wants, if its not there to open the mind and provide necessary depth, but to feel self important and make you feel self important for getting it, thats not a good book. and with books i do respect now like TKAM i remember outright saying, “i literally cannot read this and dont get it at all” at like 10 yrs old, and my teachers didnt do shit to explain it or help me or give me any skills at all, they were just like. :) keep trying!! according to your scores we know you can do it!!! so, i did not keep trying, i gave up, and i guarantee if it had been a few years later it would have been easier. if i had been given the opportunity to read stories with similar morals that were made for my age range that i WANTED to read, i guarantee i wouldve gotten so much more out of that. but i was literally DISALLOWED, bro if i grabbed a book that actually interested me, i was told i couldnt check it out at ALL unless it was in the ‘range’ i was assigned, which was college level since i was in 4th grade. so if you think i shouldve kept reading, im being unironic rn, you need to go get a degree, become a teacher, and if a kid or teen says to you what i said, sit them down and TEACH THEM without shame, and fight for better regulations of what reading levels can be pushed on what age groups. if lit analysis is this important to you, FUCKING TEACH IT PROPERLY, that is literally the ONLY REAL SOLUTION to the problem you have, NOT SHAMING the people who were ALREADY FAILED BY THE SYSTEM.

the problem is not ‘idiots think symbolism is stupid’ the problem has ALWAYS been ‘the education system is flawed and how and when children are taught certain skills is so corrupted and damaging, the children growing up with it cannot Help but struggle later in life, and your issue should be with the system”. like can i be real. learn how to Emotionally ~analyze~ posts from sad kids with mental illnesses saying smth as basic as “i wish i wasnt forced to read mature books as a child without any themes pertaining to me at all bc it hurt my already fragile motivations for learning :/” without your ass getting defensive over the classics. bitches stan ‘the door is red to symbolize anger’ but think thg is just a stupid dystopia love triangle book................ ur not even that smart like yall are just elitist like LITERALLY just elitist if you mock the values ppl see in other books and claim theyre too stupid to understand ~real books~. a fucking mickey mouse cartoon could hold the exact same moral lesson as a 1200 page novel written by a college professor of 30 years, like the Exact Same Conclusions CAN be drawn no matter how many words and analogies and metaphors are thrown on top!! for many those fancy details make it more enriching but its literally possible to get the same concepts from “EASIER” material, that is not Lesser it is ACCESSIBLE and it should be ENCOURAGED all the same. yall are gatekeeping and its stupid, if you actually want ppl to analyze media then you’d applaud how they analyze their passions even when you dont share it, not shame them for struggling with understanding other stories. this rly boils down to either ‘i hate ppls preferences and wanna make them feel stupid’ OR the ever so lovely ‘i hate whiny disabled ppl and kids who were pressured to the point of burnout, and wanna make them feel stupid’. its fucking exhausting. idc how you guys feel, you talk to hear yourselves talk and its all just talk and nothing helpful, your disrespect doesnt work bc its an echo of the root problem. for gods sake shut up already lmao

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 5 years

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Fantastic Beasts: CoG Thoughts and Observations

*SPOILERS* Press ‘J’ if you want to skip to the next post.

Grindelwald is a badass. I don’t even like him and yet he’s a fucking badass. He was in fucking prison for 6 months and they had to change his guards multiple times because he’s so damn charismatic that he kept luring the Aurors to his side!

He then got out long before he was supposed to be transported and literally took out everyone on the transport team. And he drove the damn carriage and without even looking behind him, directed bolts of lightning to take out some of the Aurors on their brooms.

He did not come to play.

Newt is still my adorable child. He’s so awkward and still feels like he did in the first film which is great. A lot of people whined about how he wasn’t ‘manly enough’. Because Newt shows compassion on the regular and is more soft-spoken and not interested in ‘manly professions’ or some shit, so he doesn’t fit the ridiculous type of masculinity Hollywood shoves down our throats and dudebros can’t relate to him.

“There are no strange creatures, only wicked people,” is a great line and should be used in reference to animals as well since some people still walk around acting like sharks and pitbulls are evil incarnate. I really love Newt.

Leta knows him well enough to know what he’d say in response to her comment. They have an awkward air of camaraderie about them.

Newt stood up to a teacher with that line of his and got a month’s worth of detention. Leta left a dungbomb in his office to get back at him so she could join Newt. Good friends fight the intolerant assholes in charge of your education together.

Theseus gives off this smarmy vibe. I seen people praise him as a good brother but at present just the way he stands annoys me. And it makes me sad that Newt feels like he can’t be himself in order to be rightfully treated like a human being should be treated.

The dude playing Theseus really does resemble Eddie though, so props for getting that right at least. I can believe they’re siblings.

As usual the Ministry is useless. Grindels is literally the reason NYC got fucked up. Him and his messing with Credence. Newt made some mistakes but actually worked to fix them and then saved all their asses in the process. Why is he getting blamed with misinformation? Even in the 20s Magical Britain’s Ministry is full of morons.

There’s a black dude in a high Ministry position. I think there are more POC in this film than all the HP films combined, jfc. ‘bout time!

Also, they never told Newt that Credence is alive and are now using that fact as a way to try and guilt-trip him into joining the Ministry. Cleverish I suppose, but I still don’t like them.

Some dude just referred to Credence as an IT. wtf? Credence is a wizard who, because magical people suck at getting abused children the help they need, ended up a massive mess. He’s not some thing to be treated like shit!

The brothers are arguing and Newt starts spouting off things he’s mostly likely heard from Theseus and his parents. I will admit Theseus seems less annoying now that he’s spoken a bit, but the fact that Newt starts saying, “Okay, right, here we go, selfish, irresponsible-” speaks of somebody who is used to being compared to another and having what others consider to be ‘faults’ shoved in his face and complained about. That sucks a lot.

Okay, Theseus isn’t as annoying as I expected him to be. He does seem to care for Newt and understand how his mind works to an extent. He isn’t offended that Newt doesn’t go to hug him back. Newt is just awkward with physical contact from humans. He’s always seemed to be on the spectrum for me and I’ve only recently found out that others feel the same, which makes his character more interesting imo.

Grindels is in lift shoes! Needs that extra height that badly? 5′10 isn’t short or anything but he really needed that lift to 6′0″? XD

At least Grindels and the Gang are only using AKs(silently btw). I don’t get why everyone always acts like AK is the absolute worst spell in HP when literally it’s just a quick and painless death. There are a bajillion others spells that are actually terrifying.

Newt easily noticing that he’s being followed and fucking with his stalker is the best. People who say Newt is weak are effin stupid.

I would not take the hand of some random glove hovering in my face. Now way, no how. idc who it might belong to, that’s some shady shit. I don’t trust people.

Though we have to admit that the glove forcibly Apparating him, even if it’s a small distance is pretty cool. Dumbles annoys me but as Phineas Nigellus will say in the future, “He’s got style.”

The fact that Newt knew it was Dumbles makes me wonder if Dumbles has done this before.

Dumbles literally just summoned a big ass fog to cover the city! I don’t like him but he keeps impressing me! It’s annoying! Stop it!

“A Phoenix will come to any Dumbledore in desperate need.” Interesting.

A wizard doing sleight of hand. Oi vey. Dumbles is a drama queen to the umpteenth degree.

God he was a cryptic asshat even back then. It’s very easy to believe this dude becomes the Dumbledore we all know. I think people are just bitching because they refuse to see Dumbledore for who he is. Lots of people whining about ‘how manipulative Jude’s Dumbledore is’ not realizing that HP-Dumbles is literally a Master Manipulator.

Baby Nifflers are effin adorable and I love how well Newt knows them!

Newt literally has someone working for him. And he’s been nothing but reassuring in his own way. He especially tells her to avoid the Kelpie because he doesn’t want her to get hurt. I have seen several people whining about him ‘being mean’ to her and I just have to ask, are y’all fucking stupid? He knows his creatures and when he tells her to not go near one alone because of how dangerous it is and she might lose a finger, he’s not being mean. He’s being a responsible employer. I know some of your bosses don’t give a shit about your well being, but Newt is actually a decent bloke. Chill the fuck out.

She’s flirting with him and is really bad at it. But it’s kinda funny at the same time.

Also can we just stop and talk about how talented Newt is that he can create such realistic habitats in such seemingly small and cramped places? He’s really good at magic.

Queenie and Jacob are cute. And to all the people whining about how ‘unnecessary’ he is to the plot, can y’all chill? He is there for a reason. To show how fucked up MACUSA is when it comes to dealing with Muggles. Queenie will literally be imprisoned if they find out she’s with a Muggle. It’s ridiculous and his character is supposed to show how even the American wizards are messed up.

Queenie calling Newt, ‘honey’ is sweet. I swear she’s the Molly of this new group of friends. Seems like she wants to take care of people and just adopts everyone who comes along.

God, even the magical gossip rags are shit even back then. They deliberately made it so it looked as if Newt and Leta were a thing. Though tbh nothing really happened between Newt and Tina in the first film so her being all offended over him possibly marrying another woman is ridiculous.

These weird shots that are supposed to be directly from someone’s point of view are a bit annoying, I must admit. It’s kind of like watching through a somewhat less annoying fish-eye lens, but still annoying anyway.

Newt is very smart. He notices very quickly that Jacob is out of sorts and that he hasn’t been acting normally. He deduces very quickly that something is up and then stops it.

I really like how level-headed Jacob is about everything considering all the crap he’s just thrown into. He cares enough about Queenie to not want her to be imprisoned/possibly killed for breaking a stupid law. I got really emotional at that part because MACUSA is full of idiots.

Jacob is right though, she’s not being sensible. There’s a lot at stake and it isn’t smart for them to marry yet no matter how much they want to.

Jacob looks at the bird thing and then’s just like, “I got my own problems.” He’s been through enough shit to just not care atm.

And now everyone’s basically going to Paris anyway.

Walking through weird barriers into new places should no longer impress me but it still does!

The magical circus looks kind of awesome but the I’m also not a fan of how circuses are handled. So it’s this cross between amazement and annoyance at the inhumane way animals(in this case creatures) are being handled.

Literally, they are kept locked up in filthy places, I am unhappy! Also Claudia Kim, who portrays Nagini, is so very beautiful and I am so very gay.

Nagini’s hair has that little serpent-like curl at the end as it rests against her neck. It’s such an awesome little detail to throw in there.

Her transformation is really cool btw.

Wow! You treat the creatures like shit and mock them, and get all confused when they attack you? I hope pain was dealt.

What is it with all the bad guys in everything having to incorporate skulls into their dirty business? Is this supposed to be a play on the whole skulls and crossbones thing meaning death?

Though Grindels does make it more interesting than some wiggly tattoo at least.

Dumbles is considered the greatest threat to his cause when he’s practically been doing nothing but playing teacher. That’s some high praise I suppose.

He’s already known as ‘The Great Albus Dumbledore’! What did he do to gain such belief in his prowess? He’s like 46!

Newt’s asking Jacob for advice on what to say when he sees Tina again, and Jacob gives him great advise. “Best not to plan these things.” It’s good. And then Newt’s like, “She has eyes just like a salamander,” and Jacob’s tune changes immediately! XD “Don’t say that!”

Jacob is a good friend. I really like him!

Jacob’s reactions are the greatest because he’s literally like an in-universe representation of the fandom when we saw magic in the movies for the first time!

Do people know that Eddie Redmayne actually licked the ground?

Newt talking about how narrow Tina’s feet are and Jacob just being like, ‘okaaaaaaay’ is the best!

Queenie must be so lost. Hearing all these thoughts and not knowing the language they’re in. And it must be stressful to not only be in an unfamiliar place but also be completely unprepared for everything going on.

That is the perfect moment to trick her. Literally, I don’t get how people can’t see that she’s emotionally vulnerable and a prime target for manipulation right now.

Credence is just a mess. He needs friends. Glad Nagini seems to be filling in that role but honestly he needs a few more. Those who are ‘cursed’ in essence, like he is. So they’ll understand him.

I really love Jacob’s character. He’s just so amazed by magic and all the things it can do. ^-^

Newt! Knows how to tame and capture creatures he’s never even met before! Zuowus are cute imo.

Hedwig’s Theme, I am crying!

Also, Hogwarts brings back my feels.

Very confused about the McGonagall thing unless this involves time-travel which idk how advanced that was at the time.

The fucking Aurors just break into the class and Head dude’s like, “I can go wherever I please. OUT!” And all the kids just standing there and look to Dumbledore for direction. It’s fucking hilarious that they won’t even listen to the dude who could imprison them with whatever excuse he can make up.

Now, there seems to be students of all ages in this classroom, which makes me wonder if it’s actually a class or Dumbledore has a Dueling Club set up, because he’s literally teaching a Gryffindor how to not make the same mistakes in a duel, right before owning his ass. idc what anyone says, no class of 17/11 year olds will have multiples students the size of first/seventh years in it. People are either really really tall or really really short. So I vote for a Dueling Club happening.

The Gryffindor who just lost the duel gets up in the dude’s face and is like, ‘he’s the best teacher we’ve got’. Props.

Dumbledore is way better than this Travis dude. And I mean by power and presence. I don’t like him any more than I do the Travis dude. Meaning not at all, But you get what I mean. Dumbles is far better for the good guys than this hoity toity asshat who thinks that because he’s Head Auror he can do anything he wants. Him ignoring Dumbledore’s warning is going to get a lot of people killed.

“We were closer than brothers.” How else can anyone take that? What is closer than a familial tie? A romantic one! Duh!

He’s banned from teaching DADA. But he isn’t banned from teaching any other class! Travis should have been more specific! This is probably how Dumbledore ended up teaching Transfiguration during Tom’s time at school since he doesn’t fight Grindels until 1945. I love loopholes!

Are the candles in the Great Hall just lit all the time?

I for one, think that ‘Talk Shit, Get Hit’ is a very wonderful saying to take to heart. So when people were talking shit about Leta, she damn well deserved to tear them a new asshole over it! I applaud her for cursing that gossiping little bitch’s mouth shut in the corridor. She deserved it. I am a blood-thirsty bitch!

Young-Newt literally looked like a young Eddie Redmayne. Superb casting on that part, God damn! He even got all of Eddie’s chosen mannerisms down!

You know, I’m not shocked that Leta’s being harassed by Gryffindors. The whole school treats Slytherins like shit the moment they’re Sorted. Even when they aren’t raised on the magical side and know nothing about Slytherin’s reputation.

I have mentioned how annoying I find the weird fish-eye-like lens view, right? ‘Cause it’s annoying me again.

BTW, I will always firmly believe that Hufflepuff/Slytherin friendships are the strongest. That is a deadly combination right there.

Albus admits that he didn’t love Ariana as much as he should have. Age does somewhat remove that veil from the eyes, doesn’t it?

I really, honestly think that people just decided that anythngn they saw in this movie was going to be horrible and that’s why y’all are being a bunch of whiny bitches over everything. Queenie didn’t just up and decide hey, I’m joining Grindels! She’s honestly at the end of her rope and is getting manipulated. Y’all are fucking ridiculous. Don’t pay for tickets if you intend to find fault in everything the movie has to offer.

The good sis stands up and points her wand at Grindels despite knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to do shit to him. Temerity ftw.

You gotta give Grindels some props. This dude knows how to play on everyone’s soft points. He just sees them and immediately goes in for the kill. Was Voldy like this in the 70s? It makes more sense that people would follow him if he acted like this before ‘dying’ the first time. ‘Cause after his resurrection he wasn’t follow-worthy imo. Too frantic and mad to take seriously.

He literally tells her that she’s an ‘innocent’ and that ‘he doesn’t wish her harm’. He then tells her to leave, which puts her under the impression that she’s safe from him and can make her own choices. This is a prime manipulation tactic because she’ll come back eventually once she remembers that he supposedly gave her a choice and no one else will. She told Jacob he wasn’t giving her a choice, and now Grindels, the supposed bad guy, is doing just that. And he makes it like he understands her suffering in her desire for love without restriction. Even good guys make mistakes. Y’all want to kiss Dumbledore’s ass for every shit thing he did by saying he was trying to save the world, so you can get over Queenie having a lapse of judgment during an emotionally and mentally trying period.

Ah, the Mirror of Erised, in which you see your heart’s greatest desire. And Dumbledore sees him and Grindelwald alone.

Also, I’m just saying that pressing their hands together would have been enough to make the blood mix. Linking their fingers is not necessary at all.

Finally it’s just Grindelwald as he currently is, staring him down with an innocent expression. And Dumbledore’s sad smile is the only thing we see as the scene fades to black.

Newt is so good with creatures, I love him!

Every time he comes out of that case I am reminded of how slight Eddie is.

Newt asks Jacob to get the tweezers from his bag, but after the mishaps in the last film where British and American English were proven to be different to a degree, he goes on to explain what they look like and both Tina and Jacob are like ‘we know what they are, dude’. XD

They disinfect the unconscious dude, Tina gets her info and heads off. And Jacob tries to get her to come back and then looks at Newt and is all, “You didn’t mention salamanders, did you?”. XD

Upon Jacob’s insistence he goes after Tina and tells her she’s different from other Aurors because she’s got Middle Head, in reference to the middle head of a Runespoor which is said to be a Visionary/Dreamer and doesn’t argue like the heads on either side of it. Tina doesn’t want to kill Credence like everyone else which makes her a different kind of Auror.

So that whacky black shroud that covers the city is Grindels’ way of calling his peeps together?

Grindels’ appears before Credence and tells him he ‘wants nothing from him and wants everything for him, that Grindels never had’. He and Dumbles are perfect for each other. Master Manipulators. A certain kind of Dynamic Duo. Grindels even uses the whole ‘my boy’ thing!

The shot is on Jacob. His stomach growls and it pans down and then up. And Flamel is right behind him when it comes back up! Shit like that always gets me in films! The only kind of jumpscare I’m not into. I don’t like my back being exposed so shots like this kill me.

The Flamels don’t keep food in their house. What exactly was the exchange for living so long? Like, I just thought the Stone kept them youthful and stopped their aging, you know? Apparently they have no need of food. Wouldn’t living that long be boring as hell when you can’t even enjoy the basics of life?

“You don’t look a day over 375.” I love Jacob! XD

Seriously though. Nicki looks like he’ll fall apart at any moment. Is living forever like this really worth it?

Nicki “Hasn’t seen action in 200 years,” OMG!

Newt Polyjuices himself into looking like Theseus and calls him ‘an Auror and a hugger’ in this long-suffering but fond tone.

Theseus and Leta are literally right there too!

It was all going so well and then Theseus looks down and isn’t it always like that? The plot must continue on somehow? I’m dying! XD It was a good plan until that happened.

Tina gets him down with a flick of the wand? The War Hero? Really? Good for her!

Newt is such an awkward turtle. I love that they didn’t insist upon Eddie changing up the way he portrays him!

Newt describes Tina’s eyes as “Having and effect in person. Like fire in water, dark water,” and if that isn’t the nicest way to describe dark brown eyes idk what is. HE’S TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SAY THE SALAMANDER LINE! XD

SHE SAID IT INSTEAD! XD How she got that I have no idea. I don’t know shit about salamanders.

And Leta finds them and runs with them. I wonder if Tina is feeling awkward.

He’s known the Zouwu for so little time and it’s already cuddling up to him! The Snow White of fucking wizards, everyone! He is a cinnamon roll and must be kept safe!

Honestly I am proud I kept up with the whole Lestrange family tree business because holy shit it was convoluted!

The Lestranges are so sexist. Only the men get recorded on the family tree, what bullshit. Leta’s father Raped her mother via Imperius and never loved her. Frankly, a child being jealous of a new sibling that he did love shouldn’t be surprising. Kids make mistakes all the time and hating her for making a rash decision she didn’t fully understand at that age, is ridiculous. She didn’t even mean to get him killed. It’s not like she’s some super horrible person for that.

Newt gets this! He literally gets it! And she tells him “You’ve never met a monster you couldn’t love”. I hurt. She’s not a monster, she’s a fucking human being who made a grave mistake when she was like 7 and it haunted her for the rest of her life.

Nagini doesn’t trust Purebloods because, “They kill the likes of us for sport”. Her life must have sucked.

And here’s where is all leads up to. The literal Crimes of Grindelwald. And not in the sense of law-breaking, although there has been a lot of that. The title means in reference to an act of of great offense which isn’t illegal but still considered morally reprehensible, against another person or persons. He’s spent this whole time manipulating the hell out of everyone and doing things both illegal and simply sinful. Lying isn’t against the law, but the way he’s doing it is wrong, and it helps him commit his ‘crimes’.

Also what the hell is with evil people and graveyards/tombs? Is this a requirement in joining the dark side?

Grindels finds muggles “Not disposable but of a different disposition.” He’s really workin’ it because he knows the kinds of people who showed up to this little speech thing of his and he’s getting all of them at once.

He’s literally showing them a vision of what will happen in WWII with the bombs in order to scare them into joining his side. It’s what will ‘rise up’ from the muggles, and Jacob understands it instantly. Scare tactics ftw! He has a point in a sense. Could we really say that the leading governments of our world wouldn’t try to enslave magicals in order to have the most power over all other countries?

The Aurors are called down to face the crowd and Grindels knows just what to say to stir up feelings of distrust. Though they’re cops so it’s not shocking. They’re all power-hungry and with the experience a lot of the people have with Aurors, plus Grindels sweet-talking them all, of course some chick just up and moves against them and get murdered on the spot. Not even detained. Cops kill first and ask questions later, not shocking magic ones do the same.

Auror used an AK without hesitation. But you know, everyone says that is the most evil spell in HP, right? And no one, not even Aurors, should use it?

And as expected, it all plays in Grindels’ plans. I’m not shocked. “Spread the word. It is not we who are violent.” Right after an Auror just murdered someone. Talk about playing on the emotions.

The fire Grindels’ conjures is blue, compared to normal fire. Which means it’s hotter. Voldy’s fire was also blue. Is this just because they’re magically powerful or are both Dark Lords?

Grindelwald uses magic like he’s a conductor. It’s interesting because everyone else but Voldy has only ever had a death grip on their wands. Voldy holds his wand more gracefully and loosely.

Nagini does not side with Grindelwald. And she has a point. He knows what Credence is, not who he is.

Okay, so a lot of people died in the blue fire, but Newt was able to hold the fire off from consuming him several times. My child is so powerful! He’s just never violent with it! *APPLAUSE*

Queenie’s desperation makes me so sad. She and Jacob love each other but go about it very differently.

I can’t tell if Leta was saying ILY to Newt or Theseus. Maybe to both but with different meanings? Romantic Love isn’t the only kind of love out there. One is her long-time friend whom she could have romantic feelings for if their bond is deep enough. The other is her fiance though her bond with him doesn’t seem that deep. Confusing and shot deliberately like that to confuse us too.

She tries to kill Grindels knowing it won’t work. I like Leta. I don’t get why people don’t like her.

He’s literally using his fancy Fiendfyre to destroy Paris. This dude aims big!

Flamel is a genius and a bunch of people, most who aren’t trained Aurors, just had to put out some powerful magic that would have destroyed a whole city.

Newts hugs Theseus!

The Niffler lives and got the Blood Pact thing from Grindels! How did he not notice it?

Queenie’s skills are very useful to Grindels in how to deal with Credence without scaring him off. He knew what he was doing in manipulating her to his side.

Grindels and Dumbles agreed not to fight one another. Wonder what would happen if they turned their wands on each other with intent to do harm. Pain? Or maybe... their spells being directed elsewhere by some unseen force and hitting nearby things(*cough* Ariana *cough*)?

So here’s where I am confused but I have many thoughts. A.) Percival Dumbledore died some time after 1890 but no date is given. He was in Azkaban during the time and immoral things happen in prison. He could be the father. B.) Kendra Dumbledore died in 1899 and Credence was born ‘circa’ 1901(meaning around that time frame but no specific details are known) so she could have birthed him. Albus wouldn’t know since he wasn’t very present at home and was distant to his siblings. Kendra isn’t actually a Dumbledore but she had the name, Credence doesn’t know the details, and Grindels could have sent the Phoenix in some way. C.) Grindels is just lying altogether but he’s really believable. D.) He used the word ‘brother’ to mean family, like how he addressed the people as his ‘brothers and sisters’. His fellow magical people. So perhaps he meant as in like Credence’s kin. So he could be a child of Aberforth who would be old enough to sire a child(teens do it all the time), or of their Aunt Honoria who could have had a kid for all people know.

Dumbles is the one to tell us all about the Phoenix thing first. Grindels strengthens that fact later on, making it not just some children’s tale. It’s all left to us to wonder if he’s lying about Credence or not.

I observed a lot.

So for the cinematography, it was really well done save for the fish-eye lens crap. I really didn’t like that. But I am a sucker for panning from above. Also clever use of the camera while certain people speak. Angles can do wonders to tell a story.

I thought the plot was very easy to follow. I’ve seen people whine about it not making sense but literally, in stories about multiple people, the POV shifts. A lot. In order to understand why everyone is doing what they are doing, you need to know what is going on from their ends. So yeah, why is everybody just randomly in France of all places? Paying attention lets you find out!

I do have one really big annoyance and it’s more for it taking this long instead of it happening at all. In the original HP films there really aren’t a lot of non-white actors portraying characters, even if they’re just extras to fill in for other students and such. In this film there were extras of all kinds of nationalities. I saw a lot of Black and Asian folks just filling up the background. And I’m glad the universe now seems more realistic and diverse. It’s just annoying that the most diverse of all the films in this fictional world, is the newest one and kinda makes the others a bit disappointing since the 20s were less progressive than the 90s.

My initial opinions on certain characters did change. Naturally I hate Dumbledore as a character no matter what but he’s more interesting than before. And I don’t really like Grindels all that much but he is a badass and watching him is interesting. Theseus and Leta grew on me with such little time. I cried for both of them. I’m disappointed but not shocked or angry at Queenie’s actions. I cried for her too. Flamel creeps me out still. I like Nagini. She’s been through some tough shit and is mildly distrustful of everyone. And now she’s away from possibly her only friend(I got not romance vibes between she and Credence btw).

I liked all the story-telling. There were a lot of creatures. A lot of talking. A decent amount of action. And humor spread out here and there for some levity.

I thought it was a fine film. It was good. I’d re-watch it with the first without hesitation. I had moments where I laughed, moments where I cried, and moments where I wasn’t sure what I was feeling at all.

Grade: A

#Fantastic Beasts Spoilers #FBAWTFT #HP #omg #Fantastic Beasts #Crimes of Grindelwald #Crimes of Grindelwald Spoilers

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