#i literally cannot stop thinking about angela right now

[arsenicflame]

i lure you in with my incredible izzy hands takes and then i strike by spamming your dash with lesbians youve never heard of

#i literally cannot stop thinking about angela right now #me; head on the table; sobbing; pounding my fist: when we were young! when love was new! #god i just fucking!!!!!! love them so much!!!!!!!!!! #thinking about how angela is a great trans allegory (and how its fun to have an allegory in media that has a trans character) #thinking about how much we dont know!!! id read 5000 words just about society on heven!!!!! #i want to know the things they did!!!! #i want sera back!!! oh god i want her back so badly #i want to write a million words about how sera expresses her queerness and how incredibly well done it is!!!!! and i cant write for shit!!!! #i want their lore so badly :( #give me it marvel u cowards #stop making angela asgardian and writing out one of ur best trans characters pls + thank u #nyxtalks #angela #seriously though. ofmd is a wild outlier in media i like #i got uhhh. norse lesbians. time traveling lesbians. more norse lesbians and their lesbian daughter #and izzy hands :)

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

#leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy resident evil #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #resident evil leon

[emblazons]

I said I was gonna so a whole long post about the monologue after my rewatch so: having watched the whole Vecna monologue v Mike monologue that happens in the Piggyback in full for the first time in actual months…god damn. Just.

There is no way to understand what’s happening with El (and her relationship with Mike) during the monologue without looking at Vecna's monologue that comes right before it. There just isn’t, and if you try you’re 100% going to miss critical context for why things happen the way they do both in mlvn’s relationship and on screen.

First off: after what Vecna says to her, El is fully in self-defeat (and self-loathing) mode. She’d just learned that every single attempt of hers to do "right" with the knowledge she had at the time had actually been useful to the person destroying her world—

—and despite trying so hard to overcome her sense of destructiveness about things like scaring Mike and hitting Angela by going to “learn who she is” at Nina, it turned out that even the moments she perceived as her “heroic” ones (like closing the gate and stopping the mindflayer monster in S3) were actually tools useful to Vecna…just like her Piggybacking in to save Max.

El is literally hearing that even her best attempts at being “good” were used for evil, which makes her an accomplice to Vecna even if she didn’t mean to be—

—which we're shown, as El remembers all the moments she thought she was "helping" only to be told each one of those was her having her powers used by Henry/Vecna.

If that wasn't enough, we literally watched as El paralleled herself directly to the person whose powers are now being used to destroy the world, even as we (the audience) know most of what is happening is just Vecna do what he does best by tapping into her deepest core fears.

Vecna adds insult to injury here by making it clear that he once "wanted her by his side" in the first place (aka the powers she's been trying to use for good cannot be divorced from bad things)—

—and from this second onward (in El's perception at least) there is no way for her powers to be used correctly even when she wants to be helpful—which is why she “gives up,” lets the vine loop around her neck in the first place, and stares unmoving and crying at Max.

Basically: What Vecna says steals even the little resolve she gained back at Nina…which is why she stops fighting entirely.

Now, all of this is an extremely fair reason to feel defeated and dejected about trying to fight (on top of traumatizing af for El)—

—the problem is (like everything else wrong in their relationship) Mike once again has no sense of El’s internal state because she doesn’t and has not historically shared it (or can’t in this case), and therefore can only answer what he externally perceives her state to be—which he guesses, based on their last argument, has to do with him not being able to say he loves her.

The disjointedness between what is really happening with El and what Mike wrongly perceives the issue to be is why we see El not only look repeatedly displeased by his confession—

—but why the only thing she can think of in relation to Mike positively is his initial rescue, when he takes her to a space where her powers are neutral / unknown (and not the force for evil even her best attempts at using them just became in her mind).

That dissonance is also why she doesn’t fight until he starts saying she need to get over herself and save someone else…which is why she looks at Max and decides to fight anyway.

In truth, Mike could have glossed over the entirety of the “I love you," "not I'm scared of you but I’m afraid of losing you” part and just said “I believe you can do anything, but right you need to fight” and gotten the same result, given that what needed to be addressed was her self-loathing, not Mike’s (lack of) romantic affections.

Basically: even if they weren’t on the precipice of a breakup, Mike’s love wasn’t going to make up for the fact that El has basically just learned that what Brenner said was true—she wasn’t ready, not even physically, but mentally…because she was not prepared to learn that even her best attempts at saving the world were actually helping Henry build to the end of it.

Combine that with the fact that she ends up losing Max despite trying to fight with Mike's encouragement...on top of the fact that all of her relationship with Mike was rooted in her wanting to feel "normal" (aka what Vecna just shot out the window permanently)?

...no amount of "I love you's" from a boy as insecure as Mike (who she keeps at emotional distance) is was going to help that, especially given that Mike was directly mirroring what Brenner (who she literally cannot stand atp) said to her trying to encourage her.

All of this...we haven't even touched on anything happening on Mike's side or how her powers (that he so admires her for) are now officially "evil" in El's mind, never mind every other aspect of their incompatibility? ☠️

—I know I'm gonna move from this post on to how what Brenner said to her about "facing the good and the bad / humans are rarely so simple" is actually how El's arc has to be resolved in the end, but.

For now I'm at 30 images and anything more would get convoluted easy, so I'll just leave us (and my million mile an hour thoughts) here.

#this post turned out so long but I HAD to get it out before it drove me insane lmao #byler #< target audience #anti mlvn #el hopper #mike wheeler #martin brenner #my s4 rewatch #henry creel #vecna #my st commentary #stranger things

[dykedragonrider]

So I finished Library of Ruina. And I think that's just one of the best games ever. I don't know if I like it more than Lobotomy, but they're good for very different reasons. Either way though, it's incredibly salient commentary on cyclical violence, late stage capitalism, and the impact that humans have on each other.

I think the most logical place to start with is Angela, given that the Library is her EGO. However, it's impossible to talk about Angela's arc and development without discussing Roland's, given how deeply the two are tied and mirror each other. Even their music mirrors the other! To establish more similarity, both have had their lives ripped away from them by someone they perceived as uncaring. Angela was forced to suffer, so she externalized that grief at all the people she could target it at, hoping for compensation in some form. Roland had his future ripped away from him at every turn by a world that didn't care about him, and the death of Angelica caused him to externalize all his grief at the people he thinks could be responsible. Neither of them, however, were able to direct those outbursts at their original target, instead hurting the other people in their lives. Both of them are shaped by pain, Angela takes hers out on the world, Roland conceals his to take it out on Angela when the time is right, when her world is at its brightest. They both have to learn, in different ways, though, that their externalization of it will only cause the same thing to happen again and again. Getting hurt doesn't have any purpose; it just makes you hurt. There's no compensation you will receive for your pain, there's no vengeance that will fill the hole in your heart. Unfortunately, you'll live. What changes them, however, is realizing that you work past that pain, and hole in your heart, by letting others in, those who are good and trustworthy. Friends of the soul. To be human is to be loved, and understood. One of the facets of this game I find beautiful is that it's not a linear path to this for either of them, and if they haven't developed enough as people they cannot forgive and trust the other. Both must be in a place where they can heal, or at the very least, stop themselves from doing anything to hurt another in that moment. Recovery isn't simple, it's hard to be a better person especially when everything you've known is about conducting the pain you've experienced, because the world thrives off doing that. But the cycle's been broken before. The fact it's been broken is proof enough that you can do it again, no matter how hard it is. Roland and Angela are doomed, though. The world cannot abide them, but for different reasons. Angela's, however, is much more central, and Roland gets shunted either way with her, as they're now effectively two halves of the same whole, unified in their understanding of one another and sharing each other's dreams. And it's platonic! I think it could have been fine romantic, but I think given both of their pasts it's much stronger platonically. They are literally removed from the world that hurt them, as it casts them out, but in being removed from it, they're also able to dream outside of it. Angela seeks to create a more just world, following in the footsteps of Ayin. Being able to look past something and see the corrupt roots it took nourishment from, and wanting to excise that, rather than the person that is a symptom of it. Roland wants to write his book about the city, sharing his knowledge of someone who has lived in such a place, and in my eyes, passing the baton to the future with this knowledge; that the little things humans have done to care for one another and the connections we make. Redemption is a complex thing, based on actions, rather than intentions, but they've taken the first steps. And that's a really good note for the game to end on, because well, the seed of light is planted in the both of them now.

On the note of redemption, I want to take a moment to mention Ayin's apology to Angela in the light. Ayin is... Complex, morally, to say the least. Swaddled in good intentions, and with a good grasp on a positive outcome, just with means incomprehensible and immeasurable in the suffering caused. He brought his friends down with him to his prison, and made them complicit in his atrocity. He wanted to be better than every other Wing in the world. but he's done all the same shit. The difference though, is that he was willing to end it, show remorse, and break that cycle. The sin cannot be forgiven, but it can break the cycle, so he took it upon himself to do it, those hundreds of good deeds. And the cycle was broken. Great atrocity was done, but it was broken. Forgiveness is the wrong thing, redemption is as well, I think, he wanted it, maybe he got it, but what he wanted has been twisted by Carmen, truthfully, so I think it's kind of a moot point. But what is the right thing, I think, is understanding, that which he gives Angela. "I'm sorry. And good job." In this, he acknowledges her feelings. Her pain. He can't compensate her for the pain he put her through, but what he can do is acknowledge it, like she does for what she's done to Roland, though inadvertently. He sees her, for the first time, not as a machine, but of what she has been denied of at this point, what she wanted; human. This is also a good time to bring up Carmen, too, as she too is in the Light, hell, she's *the* light. She's who makes people Distort or manifest their EGO, she once again is the source of this, and Angela and her at this point could not be more different. In some ways, Roland's selfishness in wanting Angela back stops her from making the change to prevent Distortions, and the risk for selfishness they pose, as Distorting is easier than manifesting the EGO. Angela cannot be the constructive voice to balance out Carmen to help people be able to fight back, but again, to go back to the ending, Angela's targeting the City now, as an institution. If she can't work against Carmen in the light to stop her, then changing material conditions to create a world less based on pain will help. It further reinforces Angela's humanity to show how far she's drifted from Carmen, and I think it's especially poignant given that Angela was born of Carmen's pain, her still living body stripped and exploited. They're both victims, both of them want the world to change, both of them can understand the other, but they disagree on a fundamental level. So they both must be true to their ideals.

That tangent aside, I think it's important to note how important Angela's humanity is at the end, because she asserts it. Her humanity is presumed, and I think as players, it's been long established, even when she *was* purely machine, as being human is a sense of who claims you. And Angela, by the institutions that rule this city, is dehumanized. All the things we've seen as atrocities they can accept, but are tragic. If Angela didn't give it up, and became a human, they could tolerate her. But because she was not born as one, she is not allowed those privileges. Despite what she's demonstrated, how she's grown, matured, and changed, how she has done things that even the Head says only a human can do, she is denied it. If anything, the Head hates her *more* because of how human she is, and I think that only adds to the importance of Ayin acknowledging her humanity, it shows that even the most awful person we've seen, even moreso than Argalia in some ways, still acknowledges her. Everything else is acceptable. The distortions, while tragic, are OK. It would have happened. Capital can subsume that. But Angela's something they have deemed unacceptable, and she only survives by the strength of those who trust in her and support her. I think it's a really good metaphor, even if it is painfully real, especially in the current age.

And I guess I need to talk about that next, this game's interactions with capital and the City, and in some ways the socioeconomic context of South Korea. The Wings of the City are analogous to chaebols, institutions that centralize the entire economy, and they're deeply corrupt. Each Wing has a Singularity that grants them power, all of them we're aware of rely on human suffering to function, and the City runs on these. Prescripts only add to this, the City having a will of its own, which often propagates pain in one way or another and keeps itself in motion. The entire system is rotten, based on pain, and exploitation. The class divide is palpable in many ways, those in the Backstreets, or slums, aren't even allowed into the Nests, where the richer people in Wings reside, and are often systemically denied ways to lift themselves up. Violence against them is viewed as less important than violence against those in the Nest. The game is deeply critical of these in its portrayals. Angela's new to this world, and while she can make sense of it she also acknowledges the ways it's twisted and broken. Power is everything, you either get a good job or die alone, I think the only thing missing is a strong commentary about gender norms, but gender is a thing never really confronted in game. There's of course, now some legitimate hypocrisy that came from PM (based on my understanding of the facts) in how their criticism of Korean socioeconomic reality, and generally, capital, is less impactful given some of their behavior, but I don't think that detracts from the messages. In some ways, even, part of me is cynical enough to say that this proves a point; that corporations, no matter how much their art challenges the establishment, they are also subservient to it and the interests of the powerful. Of course they'd be corrupted by it, they've demonstrated that fighting against capital directly only gets you eliminated or subsumed. However, I think there's something also worth acknowledging here. That being the idea that challenging capital and its interests, and to some degree, revolutionary behavior, can be done through the improvement of the self, those material circumstances, and your relationships with other humans. There's a place for self improvement and the construction of your community, and its reinforcement, theory, and ideals, and also the hard world of praxis, and fighting against that which you cannot accept. I think in a world where a common sentiment among leftists in the anglosphere is that a revolution is not happening, and we're just going to have to do what we can on a different scale to change the world, this is a thoughtful ideal to communicate, that our relationships with our community, the changes we make to improve it, our capacity for kindness for others and breaking the cycle of violence within ourselves is a good place to start to make those changes on the world. Obviously, there's still a need for other change, but the sentiment that the community and the individual are important for that change is a very useful one.

Which I guess is a good time to talk about the community, in this case, the Sephirot. I think they're really good for depicting the idea that the community is strong when the individual cannot be, as well as philosophical (and of course, theological, given their Kabbalistic origins) stepping stones in the development of Roland and Angela. To use shorthand, they've finished their character arcs. That's not to say they're static, but the Sephirot have had their development back in Lobotomy to become much more developed people. I do wish they had more time in this game, as I enjoyed a lot of them in Lobotomy, but we do at least get more interactions between them and they're not as much main characters so I get it, I just *do* like them. Malkuth manages history, and she's dealing with the fact that people in the City, and her life, are capable of great atrocity. She's trying to document that, but the problem exists in the reality that no one wants to remember anything outside themselves. People are trapped, and cannot learn from history, because the City propagates itself and erases/incorporates those who try to change it, so what's even the point of remembering it. But it's the past that builds the future, pretending otherwise or ignoring it means you only rebuild the past. And you must not despair, you must carve this idea on your heart, and face it. Maintain the will to stand up straight in a world that wants to break you down. Yesod manages technological sciences, and is aware of the dangers it poses, especially in the City. The entire ethos is that the ends justify the means, and that is uniquely terrifying when the means always involve pain. He acknowledges this about the library, and is rightfully scared by it, and wants Angela to understand that what they're doing here is comparable to other things in the city, and it can't be justified away. We have to be thoughtful about things in an ever changing world, and we can't ever just follow what's been set out. Maintain discretion, be rational, and think about "musts" and if they're actually as such. Hod manages literature, the stories of the people. For the Sephirot who involved herself in the lives of others to their detriment, placing her in a space that uses her newfound capability to understand other humans as well as she does is a really nice thing for her to slot into. The fact is, the city sucks to live in for everyone. You join groups, and the groups hurt people. Where you live is always boiled in violence, and you either give up your autonomy and ignore it, or give up your safety and acknowledge it. Everyone wants something better for themselves, to not have to deal with this world that's breaking them. You can't be broken against the wheel, you still have to have the hope to be a better person at the end of it all. Netzach manages art, and he muses on the nature of humans to make it, at the cost of humans. It's, especially in this world, a monument to pain. That's not something that really feels like it should be exalted, but it's what people are experiencing so it's made anyway. Killing yourself in the pursuit of a dream, beauty, doesn't actually create or leave behind that beauty, or dream. It just propagates misery. You've gotta fight to stay alive, you've got to want it, even if you're scared, even if it hurts, even if you've accepted self destruction. You've got to hold onto the idea that there's always something more to do, some new story to tell, a reason to keep making things as humans do. It's scary, being alive, but facing that without fear and living is what gives beauty to our condition.

Tiphereth manages natural science, and she in some ways iterates on Netzach's philosophy. Sure, you're alive, but so what. The world is unfair, it beats you down, nothing could be more cruel than it, and understanding that's a hard endeavor, usually tinted by loss. So, we try and understand it. We look at the world, and what's unjust about it, and we make sense of it so we can change it, to keep dreaming. One day, we will overcome this. One day, you'll wake up, and will be able to face yourself and the world. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, there's *got* to be something waiting for us because that's how humans work. We're driven by desire, and the chase of knowledge, justice, hope, gives life meaning. You just have to know what lights shine for you, and make the choice to chase them, every day of your life. It'll hurt like hell to be well, it's hard to do it again after losing your way. But as long as you're alive, things can change. Life has a meaning, and you must expect to find it. Gebura manages language, and notably, is one of the two Librarians with much stronger ties to the outside world than others. Her floor doesn't touch on language overmuch, but I think she demonstrates that differences with her behavior instead. As she mentions, the Backstreets dwellers speak simply, and that's reflected in her. Gebura is the most brash, honest, and straightforward librarian. She rarely speaks symbolically, and that also lets her uniquely connect with people, because of how she speaks and carries herself. She's the first one to get a fragment of the truth out of Roland, for example. Another element is that her actions speak for her rather often, given her past as the Red Mist. She was famous for her selflessness, and always tried to look out for people weaker than her. It's not the strong who survive, it's the survivors who are strong, so making sure people survive is how you create people who can live in this broken world. Kali was a legend who died in the service of protecting others, she's a very emotional person, to both her strength and detriment, and she's always going to carry that with her. Even if she's failed before, even if it's gotten harder, she still understands incredibly well that violence is a tool. And she wields that tool with courage, in the service of others. Chesed manages social sciences, and has a huge heart. He's as playful as he is determined to hope for a better life for others, and he loathes violence. More accurately, needless death, but the sentiment is identical. Chesed doesn't want people to be hurt or killed. People are all important little pieces, and we all blend together to make our symphonies. He values knowing *why*, for the hope to change things through understanding to make a better world. There's always something we can do with the people in our lives to make a difference, after all. Even if it's small, we owe it to them to do it. That's what being friends is about, after all. If the world wants to pit you against each other, then band together to be strong together. You'll have each other, and can fight the current of the oppressive reality together. Sitting on your hands only makes things worse, you've gotta be able to look and process your reality to change it. And people can help with that. Build a crowd of your friends, and become stronger together. Those who are faithful and trustworthy are what give us the strength to put our bodies on the wheel.

Binah manages philosophy, and is the other librarian with strong ties to the outside world. She's always talking in parallel with other people, but is doing as such to prove a point. The world is cruel, but you can't turn away from that. You must acknowledge the world and observe it to understand it. And you've gotta free yourself from your biases to actually understand it. If you just look for what you want to see, then you can miss the forest for the trees, or see things where they aren't because you want them to be real. Binah was once Garion, an Arbiter, effectively a supercop. I think the analogy speaks for itself there, but she's also interesting because that part of her is long behind her. In her discussions about the world, she also speaks of herself and her wants, as someone who's dealing with the sins of her past, especially given she is in no small part responsible for how things turned out. To put your past behind is to bear the sins of it, and decide to move on. You won't do it the first time, it may take a hundred, or a thousand, but you'll break it eventually. And when you do it, you'll have to do it over and over again. But you did it once. You can do it again. This works on another level again, because Lobotomy Binah is a deeply damaged person. She feels little, save for when she's hurting other people. But in Ruina, it feels like she's moved on from those remnants of being Garion. Like all the librarians, she wasn't who she was at the start of this, but she also has carried the most with her; she's just also had a lot of time to sort herself out, and while she's still imperfect, she's trying with other people now. She's tried to reconcile her past. She's looked at all the horrors of herself and the world, and has started to move beyond them. Hokma manages religion, and is one of the two people responsible for the birth of Angela. Angela is conflicted on him most of all, given that past. To call their relationship filial in any way I think is a misattribution, it's more like he's her least favorite teacher. He's wise, knowledgeable, and thoughtful but they've got a lot of friction between them. He tried to do well by her, but it wasn't enough, and he has at this point accepted that given their past. Unsurprisingly, the thing that defines Hokma is belief in something, or rather, someone. Ayin was the man that gave his life meaning, and he believed in him and his cause, even to his own end. He was shackled to him, but he was freed from that weight when he realized his answer, that building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same. You aren't stuck to it, but you must acknowledge it to move on, and its influences on you, good and bad, are what you choose to pass on. I think the most important element to him comes in his end discussion with Angela, on the idea of pity, sympathy, and love. They're similar forces that foster human connection, but I think another element is that a lot of faith exalts those who we pity; we give them love to raise them up because we find them pitiable. Through that sympathy, and a repulsive emotion known as pity, we come to understand and love one another.

And finally, we tie back to Roland, who manages general works. The thing I most want to center in this discussion about him is the simple phrase of "that's that, and this is this" because it's such an infuriating philosophy for him to follow. We see it bite him in the ass so much, because it's a cope. Angelica makes it clear to him that it's a cope, and he's just relying on it to the point it's become something deeply maladaptive. And once again, it's Angela that breaks him out of this, because through their journeys together, she realizes and proposes to him the counter: That's this, and this is that. It's her gesture to break him out of things wholly, the same way Ayin's words did to her. In terms of broader strokes, human connection is the most important thing on the road to being better people, and I think something that is demonstrated very well through Ruina is the way that it's more important to make a wrong choice and learn from it through people around you than it is to make no choice at all. While this game builds much more on the elements introduced in Lobotomy about the City, I think Lobotomy is a much stronger criticism of capital? This does it, but I think it doesn't do as good in marrying its gameplay and themes to sell the violence of capital, it mostly just depicts the horrors and leaves it there. This works, it's just not as impactful, and I think is a product of this being much less horror oriented. All in all, I chalk this one up to another game I wish I was much more capable of speaking about. There's so much good here, and it's one of the best games about revenge I've played, the next closest being the original Xenoblade. It's incredibly rich, and there's a lot more I have to say, I've just been typing for four hours and didn't want to make an even bigger wall of text.

#tsunny reviews #library of ruina

[milflewis]

omg a little blewis moment pls I love reading your writing

ok so i saw this gifset of blewis today and my brain went !!! while i was supposed to be doing assignments so obv i wrote instead. hope you like it !! sorry it’s so late lol

“Sorry,” Lewis says, pulling out his airpod, leaning in. He lets himself bounce a little on the tire he’s sitting on, pushing his toes further into the ground, stomach going all fizzy and quiet. Bono blinks out from behind his glasses, unimpressed. There’s a slight smudge in the corner of the left lens that you can see when Bono turns his head to the right and stands under the glare of the bright garage lights.

Lewis balances himself on Bono’s shoulder. His white merc shirt stiff and warm under his hand. His eyes catch off of the hollow of Bono’s throat, poking through Bono’s two open buttons. There’s a sheen of sweat clinging there.

“So i was thinking about the rear wing of the car,” Bono says, hands gesturing. An eyelash sticking lightly to the soft skin under Bono’s left eye

Bono settles more into one leg, hips slouching out and Lewis pays attention to the way his mouth moves so he doesn’t look down. Apparently, he’s supposed to stop being as obvious about what he’s thinking when he looks at Bono in public but, like, Seb can eat shit. He’s not being that obvious, and even if he was, which he’s not, Seb would be the last person allowed to say anything about hiding what they’re feeling.

Still. Toto is watching. And Susie has been worried about his cholesterol so.

Lewis sits back, wrapping one hand around his other arm, careful not to drop his airpod. He cannot lose another while distracted by Bono. Angela will never let him forget it.

He digs his fingers into his elbow, phone in his other hand. They itch to drag Bono in closer, settling him between Lewis’s legs as he shuffles back on the tire, hands on his hips. Palming his ass in those pants.

Bono keeps talking about the rear wing or maybe he’s on about the brakes now. His mouth is still moving. Lewis still doesn’t look down. Bono is fiddling with the cord of his headset. Maybe he needs something in his hands to avoid reaching out too. Even though it’s been years and nothing will ever come from it, Lewis hopes he does anyway.

“Lewis,” Bono says like it’s not the first time he’s said it. Shit. Lewis hums, “Yeah?”

The eyelash is still there.

“You’re not listening to me.”

Lewis grins, shrugging, leaning back onto the tire, bouncing again.

Bono’s eyes flicker down to Lewis’s spread thighs and back up again. Score, Lewis thinks.

Bono might not want lewis. not the way Lewis wants him to but he does want him, just a little, and sometimes that’s even enough.

“You’re distracting,” Lewis says. “Not my fault.”

“I’m literally just talking about the car,” Bono says, eyebrows raising. “About the wings.”

Lewis lets his voice go a little lower, breathy and curling around his words. Looking up through his lashes, he says, “I know,” and watches Bono’s finger tighten around the headphone cord so he doesn’t shove Lewis off his tire. Lewis laughs. A light blush spreads across Bono’s face, colouring the bridge of his nose.

“You’re insufferable,” Bono says, swallowing.

Lewis grins. “But I’m cute though.”

Bono doesn’t say anything as one of the mechanics come up to him, showing him a tablet with something for him to sign off on. Lewis pokes his thigh with a toe.

“Hey. I’m cute though, right? Bono. Bono. Hey.”

Bono ignores him.

The mechanic looks between the two of them, going still. He’s new, Lewis realises as he doesn’t recognise him. Still, he should know his name. He’ll ask Bono later.

Dan leans around the new guy, grinning, elbow on his shoulder. “I think you’re cute, Lewis.”

Lewis smiles at him, winking. “It’s nice to be appreciate around here.”

Bono hands the guy back his tablet. “I wouldn’t know.”

Lewis brushes off the sting. Joke. It’s a joke, Lewis. The voice sounds like Jenson.

Lewis scoffs, “I appreciate you!”

Bono hums, “Do you? Then why don’t you listen to me?”

“I told you. You’re distracting.” Lewis bites his cheeks, tasting sharp copper as it bleeds.

He tilts his head. “Bono.”

Bono is looking at him. “What?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

Bono frowns at him, “You’re going on track in ten minutes.”

Lewis waves a hand, manages not to drop his phone. “No, no. Not that. Could you take off your headphones for a moment.”

Bono squints at him, crinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening, “why.” He drags the word out long enough that it doesn’t even sound like a question.

Lewis smiles. “I want to see your hair do the thing.”

Bono shoves him off the tire this time.

“C’mon,” Lewis says, giggling, sprawled out on the floor, propping himself up on his elbows. He feels a little breathless, going all light and weightless with it all. “I want to see it.”

Bono turns back to the screens behind him. “My hair doesn’t ‘do a thing’.”

The mechanics laughing around them. A tv on the wall at the other end of the garage shows a pink and blue car out on track. It swerves a little, skidding over a wet patch, before rightening itself. Lewis hopes that it’s Fernando driving and not Esteban.

“Yeah, man, it does! Goes all, like, smushed in the middle cause of where they sit and it’s very funny.”

Bono’s voice goes all flat at the ends like it does when he’s trying not to laugh. “Well, then, guess you’ll see it after the race, won’t you?”

Lewis groans. “That’s ages away, though. Please. It’s so cute.”

Bono stays watching the screens. The tv is now showing Sebastian, his black helmet stark against the green Aston Martin. It makes Lewis grin like he did when Seb first sent him the design pics weeks ago.

Lewis sighs, dramatic and long and heavy, feeling his lungs shake with it. Let’s Dan pull him up. Bumps shoulders with Bono who cuts a glance at him, smiling slightly. Lewis grins at him. “What were you saying again?”

Bono looks at him for a second.

“I’m not too distracting anymore?” he asks.

Lewis shrugs, making sure he sounds careful and relaxed. “I can manage.”

He must succeed because Bono’s smile widens and he goes back to what he was saying earlier, cord in hand.

There’s a fine line here. One that Bono drew in the sand years ago when he left Lewis to wake up in a cold bed and messy sheets, smiling at him when he sat down opposite him twenty seven minutes later in the Mercedes ordered private plane. and said hey Lewis. Good party? like he always did and Lewis grinned, stomach tight. The ends of Bono’s come still flaking off of Lewis’s stomach. Not having had time to shower. (Part of him had hoped that he’d show up and Bono would look at him with those eyes again and invite him over when they landed in England and Lewis would know, just know, what that meant and neither of them would need to say anything else.)

(Bono didn’t invite him over, clapping him on the shoulder in goodbye the minute they got their bags, and Lewis didn’t see him again until two days before the next race)

(Neither of them needed to say anything else.)

There’s a fine line here. One where Bono doesn’t say anything about Lewis being in love with him and puts up with his teasing and Lewis doesn’t say anything about Bono not loving him back and makes himself still and listen to Bono when it matters, never mentioning that he knows how Bono tastes when he’s laughing.

Lewis bumps his shoulder into Bono’s again and doesn’t look down and doesn’t look at Bono’s mouth. Just listens to him worry about the brakes of a car that sometimes Lewis can’t even bring himself to not hate.

#i started writing fluff and then. yeah. idk what happened #im blaming it on naila bc she keeps talking about unrequited blewis on bonos side n now the brainrot is sinking it but with lewis #stuff i wrote #hopefully rewriting this will get me back into it #blewis #f1 rpf fic #fic.asks #anon tag #niamh.asks

[mariacallous]

For some time now, conservative groups have pressured libraries and classrooms to remove certain “controversial” books from their shelves and their syllabi. These are texts that tell uncomfortable or unpopular truths about our nation’s origins, including inequality, race, history, gender, sexuality, power and class – a range of subjects that a small but vocal group of Americans would prefer to ignore or deny.

These efforts achieved one of their most notable successes last April when the Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, signed the Stop Woke Act, which prohibits in-school discussions about racism, oppression, LBGTQ+ issues and economic inequity. Books that have not been officially vetted and approved must be hidden or covered, lest teachers unknowingly break an ill-defined law against distributing pornography – a felony.

On 1 February, these pernicious restrictions on academic freedom spread beyond Florida, when the College Board announced its decision to severely restrict what can and cannot be taught in the newly created advanced placement class in African American studies. Cut from the curriculum (or in some cases made optional) was any discussion of Black Lives Matter, mass incarceration, police brutality, queer Black life and the Black Power movements of the 1960s and 70s. Writers who have been removed from the reading list include bell hooks, Angela Davis and Ta-Nehisi Coates.

These decisions are alarming and disturbing on so many levels that it’s hard to decide which aspect is the most damaging and insidious. At risk are our foundational principles of free speech, our conviction that educators – and not politicians – should be writing up our lesson plans and deciding what transpires in our classrooms, our belief that students can (and need to) consider complicated issues.

As someone who has taught for decades, I can hardly imagine abruptly cutting off class discussions that have veered (as they inevitably will) into these now forbidden areas. Must we fear that our students will report us as insurrectionists and felons for having mentioned the grotesque racial disparities in our prison populations? I believe that education not only involves the transmission of hard information but also helps students to think for themselves, to weigh opposing arguments and to make informed decisions. How can these goals be accomplished when we are being told to (quite literally) whitewash our nation’s history, to deny that we are walking on appropriated land in a country built by kidnapped and enslaved people, when we are being encouraged to lie about the very ground beneath our feet?

Students aren’t as stupid as the Florida legislature seems to think, and by adopting these new regulations, we are only encouraging them to distrust their teachers and the system that so blatantly misrepresents the realities they so clearly observe around them.

In the past, authoritarianism – and the indoctrination that sustains it – has used educational systems to further its agenda. We can recall images of first-graders wearing little red kerchiefs and saluting the eastern bloc dictators, of students let out of class to welcome the Führer to town. We know that democracy depends on the free and open exchange of ideas, on conversations that begin early in the life of its citizens – and that fascism thrives when only one point of view is permitted. DeSantis’s rulings, and the campaigns that have engendered them, are inherently anti-democratic.

We cannot change history by censoring it. We cannot pretend that we were never a slave-holding society, that racism ceased to exist when Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation. We cannot erase the past, or influence a young person’s gender and sexuality by removing a book from the library. Students are not political pawns or ideologues-in-training. They are our future and it’s frightening to imagine a future populated by citizens who were forbidden to argue and debate, to hear about a historical event from multiple perspectives and to learn to make the critical judgments and necessary distinctions that will help them navigate our increasingly complex and challenging world.

It’s been noted that Ron DeSantis graduated with a degree in history from Yale, where he was presumably encouraged to engage in – and to learn from – the open debates that he is now attempting to stifle. Presumably, too, he learned what a good education is, what it means to be taught to think – and that is precisely what he is denying students who are less privileged than he and his Yale classmates.

It’s a political decision designed to win over the Trump supporters that the governor will need in his bid for the presidency – that is, white working-class Americans who don’t understand that their own children are also being denied the education that will help them overcome the class divisions that perpetuate our economic inequality. Private school students will still be able to study history in depth, to learn to reason, to process and assess the accuracy of what they are being told. It’s the public school kids who will be funneled into the low-paying jobs, the dim futures for which their schooling has (not accidentally) prepared them.

Ultimately, what’s most troubling about the new restrictions and proscriptions is that historical facts are being recast as snowflake propaganda. The truth is being distorted or omitted at a moment when we, as a nation, have never so desperately needed to maintain our grip on reality.

Without being taught to distinguish truth from fiction, without being asked to think, without learning how this country evolved – a history not just of heroism and noble principles but of theft, brutality and crime – our students will be easy prey to every conspiracy theory that comes along. They will find it far more difficult to imagine and implement the important ways in which we hope to become a more equitable, less racist – and better educated – society.

Francine Prose is a former president of Pen American Center and a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters and the American Academy of Arts and Sciences

[purplesurveys]

1652

Current:

Taste? The faded taste of coffee from my sip a few minutes ago. 

Drink? That would be said coffee.

Clothing? I have a plain white t-shirt on, and denim shorts.

Love? The fact that I’m 90% seeing Yoongi this June! I can’t super rejoice yet since it’s the four of us attending and we only managed to secure three tickets, so I’m not hard launching the fact until the gang’s complete hahaha. For now, I feel secure enough only to share it here.

Obsession? Chili garlic oil. My mom got a jar of it and I cannot. stop. putting. it. EVERYWHERE. Even on stuff it’s not usually supposed to be on, lol.

Plans for the day? The Holy Week long weekend has started and I don’t go back to work until Tuesday, so technically I’ve got no plans til then but to catch up on rest. I do want to catch up on Wrestlemania though; I’ll either tune in tonight or tomorrow.

Worry? Right now the biggest pain in my ass is just trying to secure that last damn Yoongi ticket for me and my friends, but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s literally been only five hours since the ticket selling and we have two whole months to look for The Final Ticket.

Song that’s playing right now? Intro ; Dt SugA. GOD I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I’M SEEING HIM

Thing you’re looking at? Apart from this survey, I have the live thread for the Twitter tag of people selling tickets. So far it’s asshole scalpers; we’ve got a loooong way to go, hahaha.

Jewellery? Don’t have any on me right now, and come to think of it I never do.

Hairstyle? It’s in a ponytail. It was humid all day so my hair is as frizzy as it could get and it’d be a big bother to have it down.

Temperature? I wanna guess somewhere between 27ºC to 29ºC? Evening is on the windy side, thank goodness.

Weather? Windy and surprisingly kinda cool.

Day? Wednesday evening.

Time? 8:39 PM.

Pain? Shoulders. My sleep posture has been shit the last couple of days.

Position you’re sitting in? Siting up on a chair with my legs up.

Person you want to kill? Uh, nobody?

Person you want to talk to? I’m fine on my own now.

Person you ARE talking to? Nobody I’m in conversation with but every now and then I’ll get a message from Angela or Reena.

Thing you’re happy about? It’s the long weekend, it’s my birthday month, and I’m almostalmostALMOST SEEING YOONGI AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Thing you’re sad about? I’m not really sad about anything rn. Anxious maybe, but not sad. Makeup? Don’t have any.

Month? April.

Year? 2023.

Room in the house? I’m currently at the rooftop.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend? None.

[jessebynight]

The weirdest thing I keep seeing/thinking about is that people who have been watching Dexter for some time just wish he gets caught or killed. That’s beyond me.

For example, with Walter White we have an outright antagonist. He’s the main character and he’s the villain, we watch power&money corrupt him (or bring his true character to life, depends on how you view it) and he does bad, inexcusable things way beyond the reason of just trying to help his family.

But with Dexter the whole PREMISE is that’s he’s a vigilante serial killer. He kills killers, rapists, pedophiles. I do not understand how someone could watch Dex for 8+1 seasons and end up wanting him killed or caught.

I started watching Dexter because I’m into that shit. I think Dexter is right, he’s our Dark Defender yada yada. Harrison put it exactly right: you killed in the hundreds, imagine how many people you’ve saved?

The show takes on itself to portray him as this Dark Defender. It’s not trying to tell us that the main character is actually the villain; Dex is not. It’s a dark story about a guy who does dark (read butchery) shit and it never tried to teach us a lesson like ‘if you kill people, even if they fit our code, you’re bad. Don’t kill anyone.’ It never once implied that. So an ending with Dexter heroically killed by Angela or butchered by Harrison ‘to end the cycle’ (sic) or him being imprisoned just does not make sense.

(And with just one episode left, it’s gonna be rushed and end things worse with the viewer than they were after s8 was finished. They cannot build up Harrison turning against Dex or Angela or whatever tf ppl talk about in just one episode for that to feel gratifying.)

What’s more, I’d love to watch that shit with the old Miami crew, just to see everyone’s reactions and on a condition that Dexter escapes. But in New Blood? What sense would it make?

The cycle doesn’t need to stop because there is no cycle. Or, at least, not in the way I’ve seen people using that word: it’s not a vile cycle of violence that spins out of control and corrupts people. What’s more, it doesn’t even matter if Dexter kills to feel power now instead of his/Harry’s sense of what’s just, because the code stays the same and the result is the same.

Anyway, here’s to my Happy Morgan Murder Family✨🥂

edit: Idk if u just watch.. even the most recent gifsets from e9. How dexter tells his story, breaking the fourth wall with his near-winks, those smirks&smiles, everything. The fact that he’s jim LINDSAY, as in JEFF LINDSAY, literally his creator’s name?? This isn’t a story about what not to do or a corruption of a man, it’s a love poem to a vigilante.

#dexter #dexter new blood #dexter morgan #harrison morgan #dexter new blood spoilers #p

[rose-nobles]

i was tagged by @evansbuckely thank u!!🥰💜

name you think is cool (not yours): sophie

favorite kind of tree: cherry blossom trees (do those count? lolz)

quick! find a cute picrew and link it here: i used yours angela! 

something that brings you joy right now: just watching my fave shows

recent fic that you enjoyed: the angels of freetown b/c i was craving a bridgewater/deancas au & this was soooo good! 

favorite scene/moment from your current hyperfixation: omg hands down the scene from tbobf when grogu literally leaps into din’s arms...i cannot stop thinking about that scene!

name a song: my universe by coldplay x bts! it’s also my ringtone & alarm 😆

favorite pair of shoes: my tory burch slippers

aquarium or museum: i’m gonna say both

second favorite movie: oh this is hard but i’ll pick black widow

there's a package on your doorstep! what do you hope is in it?  clothes!

i’d like to tag (but no pressure!): @natasharomanovf​ @spacedjarin​ @achillestiel​ @spidermaens​ @deanncastiel​ @jesensackles​ 💜​

#ask games #about me #this was fun! #especially the picrew #i love doing those xD

[shimmershae]

So.  Thanks to my new anonymous friend, this is going to become a thing.

Shae’s thinky thoughts about the latest episode--Acheron:  Part 2--beneath a cut. 

Because spoilers, however vague they might be.  

Let’s be real here.  This is more a stream of consciousness than anything else so if that’s not your thing, you are most welcome to nope right on out of this post.  Trust me.  I’ll completely understand, lol.  Sometimes?  I wish I could nope right on out of my own brain and the way it operates.  

That said?  Without further ado--

Episode 2′s opening, though.  Maggie trapped with hungry Walkers converging?  It totally gives me Glenn under the dumpster vibes.  I don’t know if that was intentional or just happy coincidence but way to link Maggie to her dearly departed better half, show.  

Is it just me or has Father G had more OOMPH to him these last few seasons?  Again, I have to ask--Rosita’s influence or no?  Regardless, I bet Seth Gilliam is loving the job these days.  

Side note:  am I gonna have to go to bed early every Saturday night from now until the end just so I that I might be able to SEE?  Something?  Anything?  My curtains are flimsy-ass.  I admit it.  But this is more frustrating than TXF.  Angela, WTF?  

No, seriously.  It’s like complete guess work who’s in these subway scenes.  Some of that has to do with them being overly populated by redshirts and the rest of it has to do with me having to squint and turn sideways to make out their facial features. 

Look at Daryl busting through concrete walls!  Should I call him the Kool-Aid Man considering NR has once again allowed himself to be led right into a biased, shipper trap?  Hmm.  I might.  

Imagine seeking refuge in those dark, filthy subways.  Any second now I expect to hear the skittering of rats.  Will Dog lose his effing mind a la Divergence?  He’s been shown to go off half-cocked that way, lol.  Oh well.  Guess it’ll be in character if he does.  

Impressive graffiti storyboards.  Does it mean something that it immediately cuts to the Commonwealth storm troopers afterward?  Maybe.  Who really knows at this point?  They been trying to gaslight us forever.  

LOL at Princess yet again.  Yumiko is just like da fuq is this person?  

No, really.  LMAO.  “That was her.  From last night.  Did you see how she was looking at us?”  

Then you have Eugene, hahaha.  “Oh God.  Why did he tell off the big guy?”  Like the man is totally me in this type of situation.  Not even gonna lie.  

“That’s right.  We want to talk to the manager.”  

I literally cannot wait ‘til Carol and Daryl meet Princess.  Can.  Not.  Wait.  

How sad is that note on that $100 bill?  Small moment but it totally gives me Season 4 vibes when they were on their way to Terminus seeking sanctuary.  

Hmm.  Remember how that place wasn’t what they thought it was?  I’m sure neither is the Commonwealth.  But I feel like what’s left of Team Family is totally going to do Rick proud, lol, and prove they’re messing with the wrong people if they try something.  

Daryl, Man.  You gonna have to get a better handle on your headstrong Fur Son.  I wonder if Dog would listen better to his mama?  Things to ponder.  

Sounds like Miko has this group’s number.  Or does she?  

Princess and Eugene totally look like they’re waiting their turn for the Principal’s office, LOL.  

“Stop moving!  You’re taking my nerves over the edge to a proverbial 11 on a scale of 10.”  I feel you, Eugene.  I do.  Also you, Princess.  Two of the most relatable TWD characters right there, I’m telling you.  

Princess is me when I really, really, really have to pee.  TMI?  Sorry, lovelies.  LOL.  I just...she’s so relatable.  

LMAO.  “If that fine ass dude in the orange suit...”  Princess and Mercer incoming in 3-2-----

Princess’s excitement over the toilet paper=PRICELESS.  

Eugene, Man.  You desperately need to develop a poker face.  

There’s Daryl getting another cool camera shot.  Angela?  You playing favorites again?  

Carol’s claustrophobia could have never.  I bet that’s in the back of Pookie’s mind.  You can’t tell me it’s not because Carol lives in there rent-free.  

Ohhh.  Back to the subway car.  Looks like we got the Maggie redshirts leading the way.  First sacrificial “lambs”?  

Maggie pistol-whipping Negan was kinda deserved, but he wasn’t all wrong so.  

Damn.  I’m no Gage fan.  He can fuck all the way off for what he did to my baby Lydia.  But Maggie over there with ice in her veins.  

Yep.  I think the dude just got one of the most gruesome deaths in a while.  Yuck.  

I think Alden’s faith in Maggie definitely took several hits.  I feel like he kind of had her on some sort of pedestal dating back to Hilltop times.  Father G, though?  The man is continuing to show himself a SAVAGE MFer.  

Josh gives Eugene such believable tics and mannerisms.  He IS Eugene.  

Thank you, Maggie, for lighting that flare.  I could not see a damn thing.  

What are these bad memories Negan alludes to?  Hmm?  Him being a shit husband to Lucille back when he was still taking her for granted?  

Father G on Gage’s Walker--”All that is, is a shell of a man, who died a coward.”  Kind of ironic considering Father G’s own origins, huh?  Has he any warmth in there for anybody but Rosita and Coco?  Does he equate it with weakness?  

“There are worse ways.”  And Maggie proceeds to paint us a horror story with mere words.  

Dark Maggie really surpasses anything certain fans have ever accused Carol of being.  Is she too far gone?  Who the hell knows?  I think it’s clear that she and Carol are both on a sliding scale of sorts when it comes to being able to compartmentalize shit to survive.  Personally?  I feel like Maggie might have leap-frogged Carol in this episode but it matters none because of the double standards so deeply entrenched in this fandom.  Both women have endured and had to do some horrific things.  It’s not a contest.  But it’s probably going to be turned into a season-long one.  

It’s almost like Kang was like, “Ya’ll bitches think Carol’s dark?  I’ll show you DARK.  Check and mate.”  

Whatever the reasoning, Maggie just got exponentially more interesting to me if not likable.  And before anybody out there comes at me, it’s entirely possible to be on a character’s side in some things and not be all up their ass in love with them, lol.  Like I’m attached to her because she’s family and Glenn loved her.  There’s a loyalty there and she absolutely is justified in her hatred of Negan.  But I’m not going to pretend her shit don’t stink like everybody else’s.  

Speaking of my baby Glenn.  What would he think of this version of Maggie?  I think he would be gutted and heart stricken that events led to her being like this but he’d understand because he’s pure like that.  Don’t mean he’d be A-OK with it all.  

Dog must be protected at all costs.  

Confession.  I know not the fuck who Pony Boy is, but I know him because all my fandom friends have pointed him out to me, lol.  RIP, Man.  I think you’re number’s up or close to it.  

Okay, though.  I admit it.  I am kinda LOVING Badass Father G.  

That scene in the subway car with all of them working to take all the Walkers out was already badass.  Then Daryl arrived and made it, in @freefromthecocoon’s words, HAWT.  LOL.  

Eugene staring at that little black book like it contains torture tools, hehehe.  

“Processed?  As in administratively?  Processed as in bologna or other meat stuffs?  This inquiring (enquiring?) mind needs to know.”  OMG, Eugene.  I admit it.  Even if it makes me look like a lunatic, LOL.  I straight up LMAO at that one.  I mean, ten years later and Terminus still fresh on the man’s mind.  

“You like feeling nervous?”  Well, no.  None of us that do, Mercer?  Do.  

Then he proceeds to make me howl with his “You can’t lie for shit” to Eugene.  

Josh McDermitt?  I love you, Man.  40 year old virgin, LOL.  

All this talk over the seasons of Daryl’s virginity and we have Eugene, hahaha.  But was he telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  

Finally.  Some daylight.  Where I can see.  

Eugene’s relief at seeing his friends safe and sound was such a beautiful thing to see.  I loved those hugs.  

Mercer’s face when he snarled “beat cop” in disdain to Ezekiel.  I think I’m gonna love this dude.  

“I went to West Point.  Asshole.”  Yeah.  I am.  

I know they probably catfishing Eugene right here because spoilers tell us that ain’t Stephanie.  But my heart still did a little d’aww.  Angela.  Don’t play with his poor heart like that.  

What’s got Daryl so pensive, huh?  Is it that the note reminds him of kids being lost or taken from their family? Or separated from their family?  Is he thinking of those Grimes babies and wondering if Michonne will ever make it back and why and how she was able to leave them behind?  Tell me it ain’t that Find Me nonsense.  

“This place sure has gone to shit since the last time I was here.”  LMAO, JDM.  I mean Negan.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I still hate Negan, but JDM has me entertained at least since they gave the asshole some shades of gray.  And speaking of shades of gray.  I’m loving the gray beard.  JDM’s looking GOOD (hear that NR?  Embrace the gray).  Negan can still kick rocks, lol.  

Anyway.  That scene was CREEPY AF.  Not even gonna lie.  

The Reapers strutting right on up to our group like it’s The Purge:  ZA.  

My bad, Pony Boy. Now RIP.  

Dark, dark episode with loads of tension broken up by some welcome humor by Princess.  The girl is fast becoming a fave of mine.  

My baby’s back next week!!!

I’m just going to plug my ears and pretend they’re trying to capture/recapture the horses because they’re pets.  Not because they’re starving so bad they feel the need to eat them.  La la la la la.  I can’t hear you.  

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

[tetsustation]

APPRECIATION POST !!

in another words, lina loves her friends a little too much & doesn’t necessarily know the right means of expressing it </3

cass [ @misutv ] — uh im in a sappy mood so if you’re not rockin with the sap please scroll! epic, okay. hi... lol hey. thanks for pushing me to do this. now i know you know that i love you, with my chest! from when we first started talking to all these months later, that feeling hasn’t changed (even though you took two months ALLEGEDLY to warm up). i think our friendship is unique in the sense that i really never expect anything from you, when we’re on the phone or texting it feels natural and when i think of you my first thought is that i want whats best for you. isn’t that crazy? i don’t think i say it enough, but i care a lot about you—about all of you, whatever your feeling at any given moment or whatever project you chose to pursue at the time just know i’m there to back it and never expect anything from you, besides just that—you. i hope this is making some sense, knowing me this might be a bit of a mess, a ramble even. still, i think your exceptional—inside out, i’m really glad to be your best friend even if its just through some silly little app. i appreciate everything you do for me, even if i’m shit at saying so, because its baffling that you feel so inclined to dedicate some time in your day to me—i could melt i think. fair warning, i’m gonna crush your lungs at the airport. all my love loser >:)

hesther [ @hesthermay ] — how many months has it been now? hesther, you are such a solid constant in my life and i literally cannot thank you enough. from our strangely comparative music taste to the oldest sister bonding, i really feel like your the one person i can really resonate with that i haven’t met in person (yet). even if it’s weird to say, i love reading your marvel drabbles and personal pieces because it’s oddly intimate in personal in a way that implies a lot of trust. i know i can rely on you if i need anything, and vice versa. every week i pull you into my world, and the next week you pull me into yours—it’s an entertaining constant that remains me i’m not alone in my silly little struggles. i’m really glad i met you, and i’m so grateful i get to call you my friends (and i get butterflies when you call me butterfly). not to be gross but please don’t stop being you, it makes me smile, thanks hes <3 love you. 

selene [ @hajigumi ] — hey whore (lovingly). we’re coming onto two months now and it doesn’t really feel like it but i guess i’ll take it. honestly, it feels like we’ve known each other for a really long time—maybe its the same timezone thing but you just feel so familiar. i get a little skippy when you tell me that i’m stuck with you because i really love being your friend, its such a comforting experience and i’ve grown such a fondness for you i don’t think will fade. you suck, frankly, for being so welcoming. i love hearing about your day, boring or not—and i’m grateful your always willing to be about mine. despite what anyone says, your a great cat mom and an even better friend... giggles... love you mwah.  

ly [ @kyotarou ] — i almost typed out the govt name help... babe i love you so much. it’s impressive how you put your heart into everything you do, and it’s really shocking to me when you yourself don’t realize just how much of yourself you put into the things you do. just today when you were making those little polaroids, the dedication that you had to finish them and package them all pretty was truly heartwarming. that, among many other things—including your work which is always quality despite the seemingly mass production of it. i know your younger than me, but i aspire to be like you in that respect. your wit never ceases to amaze me and i think you were one of the first people i felt comfortable thirsting with because our taste is so similar (daishou fucker solidarity i think). i have such a strong appreciation for you as a friend and i hope it stays like that for a long time. 

angela [ @oikirstein ] — i think i’m gonna take a step in the right direction and try to be civil (kidding) but bestie when you’re sending audio messages of you scream sobbing about manhwa i can’t help but giggle. something that drew me into you was your humor, because honestly, i couldn’t help but feel really comfortable with you? even one on one, its just easy to talk with you because theres always so much on your mind—so much so that it’d be impossible to be bored. NO YOU KNOW WHAT SIDETRACKING BECAUSE YOU JUST CALLED ME THE EVIL TWIN UM. angela please never change, i don’t think i could bare it. i tolerate (love) you... ig....stay swag. 

violetta [ @hikariakaashi ] — once again i am tempted to pull out the govt name HELP. that’s just how comfortable we are with each other, i think. you were one of the first people to interact with me on hq tumblr, so far back that you probably remember my red/black alyssa layout lol—but thats really shocking to me because our friendship has grown so much sense then. it makes me giggle to think that i can just text you about stupid stuff and you’d tolerate it. you’re another person i feel as though i know in real life, its just so easy talking to each other, and my only hope is that we get even closer. mwah mwah!

rissie [ @levbug ] —rissie rissie rissie! i don’t care how much we slander and tease you, i love you to bits. please because you’re so funny and easy to talk to i feel like we’re besties. i could listen to you ramble for like an hour i just wanna hug you bae, thank you for being the only armin lover in the room—it makes me feel very seen. we gotta stick together >:)

rheya [ @diorpieck ] — hey rheya twirls hair...i really have a lot to thank you for because without hq radio i wouldn’t have met over half the people on this list and it baffles me how close we’ve become since. you are such a natural leader and i feel so honored i get to talk to you (the fact that you handle me is just as surprising). thanks for looking out for me and everyone else, because i don’t think we’d be where we are without you. thank you :>

jade [ @iwaizoom ] — jade i honestly do not know how to say this but apparently i’ve followed you since like last july (this is news to me too) and i’ll spare you the speech—but in short there was some fan behavior. i truly love talking to you, its so smooth and your energy is beyond welcoming. laughing at stupid shit with you makes me giggle like crazy and i’m so glad i get to call you a friend. stay in school mwah!

issy [ @cafemiya ] — hey pissie <3 i don’t know what it is but your presence is so comforting i love just talking to you, being around you, interacting—it feels like spring if that makes sense. you’ve written a lot of my comfort fics on this hellsite and for that i am permanently indebted to you. please consider this the start of my reparations and just know your existence in and of itself makes me all bubbly (lovingly) KISS! 

nayru [ @luvoratomi ] — i feel like we’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a few months. still, you’re so consistent which is something i really admire about you, your messages to ask me about my day or hanging out in the discord is so grounding because i know i can count on you—which sounds silly but just know despite the teasing i love you a lot <3

cal [ @lovekags ] — don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite epic gamer cal, i know we just started getting close but you’re so incredibly cool and talking to you feels so natural! your raw skill in so many different areas is baffling to me and makes me all blushy lol, thanks for rockin with me and i can’t wait to see how that powerpoint turns out >:)!!  

#mutual.love #the typos in this are astronomical uh #angela dni 🙁🙁 #THIS MADE ME WARM AND FUZZY. #i apologize in advance bc i'm not a very gush-over-my-friends type of person #but i love them a lot #note that i adore all my mutuals these are just the weirdos i talk to on the daily giggles #KISSES YOU ALL SO HARD. #help okay #yall have seen my face and have my socials.... better stay humble

[alotsgonnachange]

Fan apprentice Bios

for the alotsgonnachange/the arcana cinematic universe that eye personally believe to be better than the original game...

Name: Isabella Ciccino

Meaning: Promise of God

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Height: 5′10

Birthday: October 28th

Star sign: Scorpio

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Patron Arcana: Justice

Sexuality: Lesbian

Favorite Food: Lemon chicken orzo

Drink: White wine (Vinho Verde)

Magical abilities: Plant care/recognition (green witch), Foraging

Ethnicity: A small rocky/mediterranean esque island off the coast of Venterre that would strongly resemble sicily and malta.

Family: Mother, Angela Ciccino (deceased). Younger sister, Annamaria Ciccino (deceased)

Backstory: WIP

Occupation: Seamstress/tailor

Hobbies: Ballet, reading, drinking wine, dancing, tending to plants

Familiar: None (for now i guess??)

Love Interest: Nadia

Description: Isabella is a mysterious and alluring magician. To most people she is kind and charming, but private. She is incredibly helpful and caring to those she is friends with and cares about and will drop what she’s doing to assist. Likes to do quiet introspective work like reading, sewing, knitting and caring for plants. She’s a bit of a homebody in that sense. She comes across as level-headed and assertive in formal settings and does not allow others to talk down to her. With friends, she is a bit more sassy and teasing. She hates answering personal questions and has strict boundaries, which can lead to her being standoffish and stubborn at times.

As a Love Interest: Very loyal and committed, generally very gentle towards whoever she is seeing. You are going to have to get her to open the fuck up though she’s not good at being vulnerable AT ALL. The type of gf who may or may not qualify as a therapist/mother which…yikes. needs to work through her fear of intimacy before she can have a healthy relationship awwww 5/10

___

Name: Danielle Dupont

Meaning: God is my judge

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Height: 5′6

Birthday: September 7th

Star sign: Virgo

MBTI: ENFP-A

Patron Arcana: The Sun

Sexuality: Bi

Favorite food: Pain au Chocolat (Chocolatine for my canadians…)

Favorite drink: Espresso or a good wheaty ale

Magical Abilities: Sexual magic, chemistry/potionmaking, candle magic, topical balms/solutions

Ethnicity: Whatever the Arcana equivalent is of like. Western Europe germanic? A country including but not limited to Germany, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Switzerland. Who cares really she is white and an Orphan

Family: Orphan!

Backstory: WIP

Occupation: Shop owner who sells potions, balms, candles and various other uhhh items usually of the purpose of sex (literally think a modern day sex shop with dildos and shit but also candles and skincare too)

Hobbies: Socializing, singing, making/testing potions, foraging, baking

Familiar: None, is in fact frightened of several animals due to trauma :(

Love interest: Lucio (Her taste is questionable and that’s okay!), also portia

Description: Danielle is a cunning and animated witch. She’s outgoing, bright and carries herself with confidence. In the past this has made her friends and enemies alike. She’s charming but can be a bit of a trickster. Her demeanor is generally calm and she does not often experience strong anger. She’s very smart and dedicated to her craft, and she is a perfectionist. As a worker, she gives excellent customer service and is a good saleswoman. To her friends, she’s teasing and wild, but loving and encouraging. On her worst days, she has the potential to be a bit more inconsiderate and is not the best at handling huge displays of emotions from others.

As a Love Interest: Girlllll…. first of all she needs to stop being emotionally stunted! My good sis cannot handle open displays of emotion at all and tends to shut down! The physical aspects are all there and excellent and she is going to be sweet, caring and loving but she needs to take things more seriously and be able to talk about feelings!!! 3/10

____

Name: Jia Song

Meaning: In korean it’s “clear” or “good”

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Height: 5’5”

Birthday: August 5th

Star sign: Leo

MBTI: ENFJ-A

Sexuality: Bi

Favorite Food: Pulled pork or a good seasoned steak

Drink: limeade

Magical Abilities: Potions/herbs and healing

Ethnicity: Her father is from the same country as Ki (in a modern AU, this would be like. Korea.) and her mother is from somewhere uhhhh near nopal or something. Warm tropical nice (in a modern au this would be Brazil), but she grew up in her mother's country.

Family: I don't currently have names but basically, her father, mother, aunt (deceased) and two younger brothers.

Backstory: will be linked coming soon

Occupation: Healer, researcher, linguist

Hobbies: Dancing, reading, adventuring

Familiar: None

Love Interest: Julian

Description: Jia is a bright and curious magician. She’s a bit nerdy and loves reading/learning new disciplines. She is an energetic and altruistic person who is liked by many. She comes off as kind and forthcoming. She is very helpful and if she can’t help directly she will find someone who can with her connections. To her friends, she is loyal and sweet and affectionate, but also has the potential to be grumpy and even a bit negative. She’s very determined in hard situations and won’t back down until things are made right. Despite this, she can potentially overthink and overestimate situations and is incredibly stubborn when she wants to be.

As a romantic partner: loving, but definitely also able to keep independence. Not necessarily a stage 5 clinger but somewhere in the middle. She will love just spending lots of time with a partner and just picking their brain and learning everything she can from them. The type to brag about them to her friends. A wonderful listener but give her a chance to speak too she likes talking a lot as well! 10/10 would recommend

____

Name: Ki (Kiyoung) Kim

Meaning: Debatable but Ki alone means arisen and i’m getting “Vigor and eternal” But i think names differ based on the characters u use i am not korean so take this with a grain of salt

Gender: Nonbinary i think...

Pronouns: He/him or they/them doesn't have a preference

Height: 5′8″ Short king

Birthday: February 27th

Star sign: Pisces

MBTI: INFP-T

Sexuality: Gay

Favorite food: Budae Jjigae or Yongeun jorim

Favorite drink: any alcoholic beverage where you can’t taste the alcohol and strawberry milk

Magical Ability: Divination and mediumship (idk what the proper term is) so he can communicate with spirits/the dead

Ethnicity: Think of a small nation veeeery far away from Vesuvia that's cold for a lot of the year (for reference, think Korea).

Family: a twin sister named Jiyoung, 3 older sisters (Jiwoo, Jeongyeon, Joonhwa), mother and father and paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother who are living.

Backstory: will be linked coming soon

Occupation: Musician - mostly guitar and piano. Enjoys instrument care, arranging and performing in large ensembles, not a soloist by any means. He’s a great singer but he’s shy and singing gives him anxiety

Hobbies: Playing guitar, composing/arranging, reading, writing, shopping

Familiar: a tiny white dragon named Egg. Idc if dragons exist in this world but i feel like they HAVE to..

Love Interest: Asra

Description: Ki is a perceptive and witty magician. To most he comes off as a bit anxious and shy, which he is. Once you get past that, he’s eager, forthcoming and empathetic. He is very kind and likes to believe people have good intentions. He is very helpful and always tries to make sure others are comfortable and happy. He enjoys music and learning musical instruments. He prefers to work more in the background so as to not draw attention to himself. With his friends, he’s actually very talkative, silly and goofy. He’s prone to anxiety and may tense up or feel attacked when put into frightening situations. Unfortunately he has self destructive tendencies and low self esteem and has a hard time due to that.

As a Love Interest: perfect little s/o shut the FUCK UP…. that is if u can deal with low self esteem and anxiety! He really really tries though! He’s also shy with physical affection but will warm up to it eventually with familiarity and trust. Very doting and randomly shows up with delicious food and takes care of u when ur sick. 8/10

____

Name: Mathilde “Tilly” LaRue

Meaning: Mighty In Battle? Lol

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Height: 5’11

Birthday: January 16

Star Sign: Capricorn

MBTI: INTP-A

Sexuality: Bi

Favorite Food: Lentil soup

Drink: Black coffee

Magical Abilities: Divination, telekinesis, herbs, defensive magic

Ethnicity: From a large urban area with a large population somewhere in an area a bit cooler and rainier than Vesuvia. (think like. England)(in a modern AU think Afro-caribbean)

Family: Mother and Mother and an older sister named Topaz

Backstory: will be linked coming soon

Occupation: Court Magician (but like simply a well rounded witch who goes wherever the money is)

Hobbies: Exploring, foraging, reading

Familiar: A white ferret named Elle

Love Interest: Muriel

Description: Mathilde is a gentle and thoughtful magician. She is soft-spoken and hates raising her voice, and is often making bizarre and thought provoking side comments in most situations. She is curious and intuitive when it comes to magic and often able to use several methods to predict the future for others. She carries herself in a dreamlike/contemplative manner and does not really care what others think - She’s off in her own world. With friends, she has a good source of humor and gives good advice and is a very good listener. She has an affinity for animals and nature, and would generally prefer to be outside. She can tend to be unrealistic and naive and loses hold on her emotions in tough situations (angry crier…) and feels misunderstood by those around her.

As a love interest: Downright adorable. Sweet, will bring you cool items she found and very endearing. She’s also encouraging and surprisingly cheesy. Not outwardly clingy but if you let her she will. but good fucking luck starting to date her! She is extremely pretty and gets asked out almost every day, turning down 99.999999% of applicants because other people do not particularly interest her and her taste is insanely picky! 10/10 but FAT CHANCE

#my art #bios #my text #the arcana #fan apprentice #ki #tilly #danielle #isabella #jia #refs

[365days365movies]

March 2, 2021: The Last Unicorn (1982) (Part 1)

I, uh...I wanna talk about zoology.

It’s my profession of choice, although if I’m going to be specific, it’s ecology and ornithology, based on my Masters. But while my expertise is in birds, that doesn’t mean I have any particular preference. So, let’s talk mammals. Specifically, I’d like to talk about horses.

Horses are odd-toed ungulates (Order Perissodactyla) belonging to the family Equidae, with only one living genus (Equus), which includes donkeys, zebras, and a FUCK-ton of fossil progenitors. Not gonna go into horse evolution here, since it’s a vast topic on its own, but the group dates to about 54 million years ago, during the Eocene period.

There are specific features that define modern horses as horses, including a single hoofed toe for walking on, a body built for running with high stamina, and a large cecum in the intestines for breaking down fibrous and herbaceous material. It’s a group native to North America, Africa, and Asia, with the modern descended horse descended from a somewhat unknown ancestor in Central Asia.

They’re grazers rather than browsers, which many similar sized herbivores are. And, of course, they have a close relationship to humans throughout prehistory. Their main systems of defense against predators are the afore-mentioned running capabilities, a VICIOUS kick (especially horses like zebras), and a high-range of monocular vision due to the position of their HUGE eyes.

In terms of sexual selection, it’s essentially based on physical competition between the males in a population, which are usually formed into reproductive harems. That’s one male with multiple females that live within an established range. The females have their own dominance schemes, while groups of males exist in bachelor herds before establishing a harem of their own.

And those two paragraphs help explain why horses don’t grow horns.

Animals like this bighorn sheep, as well as antelopes with impala and gerenuk, perform intrasexual selection using their horns, the size of which determine the fitness of an individual male, with the fights settling any potential ties for watching females. And that’s the main reason why herbivorous mammals grow horns, and horses have come up with different social structures to compensate. But OK, couldn’t they just horns anyway? 

Remember the stomach I mentioned earlier? Here’s the thing; hindgut digestion, which is what horses do...not the most nutritionally efficient form of digestion. In order to maintain their running lifestyles, they invest all obtained energy and nutrients into building muscle and other important functions. Fact of the matter is, they just can’t devote enough energy and nutrients to the physiologically expensive act of owning a horn. They do have a close relative that does that, though. However, they’ve sacrificed their speed, intelligence, and even their eyesight for their horns, as well as beefing up their physical defense with thicker skin.

YUP! So why talk about this? I mean...you know why.

OK, so that had basically nothing to do with this movie, but a post like this has been building since I mentioned the gerenuk a little bit ago. Sorry, had to get it out. Anyway, yeah, unicorns are impossible, but they’re still a hallowed mythical creature. National animal of Scotland, one of the most prominent symbols of medieval mythology, a magic-using ethnic class in a mythical kingdom composed of a horse-based majority that also includes normal horses and pegasi...

You know, unicorns. So, I’m definitely interested in what would happen to make a unicorn, well...the last one. My bets are on something man-made, like deforestation or another for of habitat depletion. Could be poaching for the horn. After all, that’s what’s been driving rhinoceros species to near-extinction (or actual extinction in the case of the western black and northern white rhinos. RIP Sudan, you goddamn king).

But let’s find out rather than speculate! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

During medieval times, in a mystical wood called the Unicorn’s Forest, a hunter shows unease to his companion. In the forest, there are no seasons, and the beasts are protected from hunters, as long as there is one unicorn left if the forest. That last unicorn is...the Unicorn (Mia Farrow), who learns from the hunters that she must be the last of her kind.

The opening credits, which are a gorgeous animated medieval tapesty, are backed by the song “The Last Unicorn”, by America (damn, nice pull). Gives the whole thing a Renn Faire feel. Never been to a Renn Faire, but I’d love to go to one, honestly.

Anyway, the Unicorn is in doubt that there are no more of her kind in the world, as they live forever, and she would know if there are none left...right? However, they can also be killed and trapped, so...I mean, they might be dead, Unicorn. As she’s thinking on this, the most Rankin-Bass butterfly ever shows up singing a ballad of love. This is...the Butterfly (Robert Klein), a bard-erfly (see whay I did there) who won’t stop singing, despite the Unicorn’s pleas to tell her of other unicorns.

Butterflies, apparently, repeat to anything they hear around them Which involves like, a lot of non-medieval songs. There’s one about the A-train, apparently, which makes...just NO fucking sense. As the Unicorn also shows frustration at this anachronistic little bugger, he breaks his songs to tell her than the Unicorns have all been chased off by “the Red Bull.”

...I’m going to hold it off as long as I can, but the joke WILL come. It WILL come.

She wonders if she can truly leave the forest, then actually does so in order to find the other unicorns. She happens upon a farmer, who attempts to tame her, as he only sees her as a horse. Apparently, men can no longer see unicorns as they are, and usually only see them as white horses. So, there may be unicorns in the world after all!

Not sure why she doesn’t go back to her forest after realizing this, but...OK. She continues on, backed once again by a song performed by America, called “Man’s Road”. Real talk, I’m digging the music in here, which is my inner folk rock fan talking.

While she finds nothing on her journey, she’s instead found by Mother Fortuna (Angela Langsbury), a witch who runs a carnival that needs a new exhibition. With her comes Ruhk (Brother Theodore) and magician Schmendrick (Alan Arkin), the latter of whom actually can see the Unicorn as a Unicorn.

At the carnival, Schmendrick introduces hiself to the Unicorn, wanting to get her out of there. Meanwhile, an audience is fooled by Mother Fortuna’s illusory magic to see a manticore, satyr, and the Midgard Serpent, when in reality they are an elderly lion, ape with a twisted foot, and really sad snake. However, the Harpy that she has IS real, and a major threat to Fortuna were she to escape.

That night, Fortuna speaks to the Unicorn of the Red Bull, owned by a King Haggard. The Unicorn asks Fortuna to free both her and the Harpy, two signs of the same magical coin. Also...is this a kids’ movie? Kinda thought it was until I noticed that the Harpy has, well...pendulous breasts. Literally the best way I can describe them. Also, three of them, so...there’s that.

After she leaves, Schmendrick arrives to free the Unicorn with his magic...and he’s shit at it. Like, REALLY shit. But thankfully, he’s a decent pickpocket, and stole the cage keys from Ruhk. He lets the Unicorn free, and she in turn releases the other animal prisoners, Harpy included. Which is NOT great for Fortuna, who’s IMMEDIATELY killed.

The two leave together, and head on the Unicorn’s journey to find her own kind. She cannot grant Schmendrick his wish to become a true magician, but he still gives her information about this world, and King Haggard, who seems like bad news.

On the road, the two encounter a gang of thieves of the road, who work for Captain Cully (Keenan Wynn), a short and portly leader of bandits. His mistress is a woman named Molly Grue (Tammy Grimes), who’s endlessly frustrated by Cully’s regular failures. They befriend Schmendrick, who impresses them with illusions of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Although, it’s not his illusions, but those of the Unicorn, trying to help.

Doesn’t help that much, though, as the Robin Hood-hating Captain Cully ties him up to a tree after all of his men and Molly leave. A frustrated Schmendrick mutters a spell by mistake, and brings the tree to life.

And then my girlfriend fuckin’ broke. Here she is, below:

Ravishing. Yeah, she’s watching this too, and when the tree came up, her words were, and I quote:

...a smooth-talking horse, a three-tittied harpy, and a BOOBED TREE!

Boobed tree is an expression I will find a way to use in my life. Also, this is ABSOLUTELY not a kid’s movie, and that is one busty-ass tree. This tree, called...The Tree (Nellie Bellflower) is in love with Schmendrick, and is enraged by the appearance of the Unicorn. However, the Unicorn undoes Schmendrick’s magic, and puts the t-horny tree back to sleep.

The two encounter Molly Grue, who’s astonished to see a Unicorn. She cries, as she was been waiting to see one since she was a young maiden, but now she isn’t one anymore. Interesting implications there, but moving on. Molly wishes to join them, and while Schmendrick isn’t super down for that, she wins the Unicorn’s trust when she points out that they’ve been going in the wrong direction. Whoops.

OK, with that, let’s break for Part 2! See you there!

#the last unicorn #peter beagle #arthur rankin jr. #jules bass #rankin bass #rankin-bass #alan arkin #jeff bridges #mia farrow #tammy grimes #robert klein #angela langsbury #christopher lee #keenan wynn #paul frees #rene auberjonois #the unicorn #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #mygifs #my gifs

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 4: Welcome to Hope Valley

Another fun episode, everyone. I’m finding that, this season, I’m genuinely looking forward to each episode. Let’s hope things stay that way!

--

Scene 1: Awkward Library Encounter

Elizabeth walks in on Lucas sleeping in the library early in the morning; he stayed up all night and didn’t go to bed.  He tells Elizabeth that he managed to save the oil derrick before it was ruined in the fire, and I’m sure he was trying to make the numbers come out in the books and all that. Elizabeth is there to get some books to give to the Canfield children since everyone else is bringing stuff over to welcome them to town.

It’s a pretty awkward scene, probably because he was mean to Elizabeth last episode (though nothing he said was untrue lol). They then talk about Nathan’s trial a little bit, but it doesn’t really go anywhere beyond Lucas saying that “evidentially” Nathan was not “entirely” exonerated. 

--

Scene 2: The Canfields

Elizabeth brings over the books. Apparently they’re from Jameson. Angela is blind and is schooled at home by Minnie, her mother. Minnie asks Elizabeth if she wants to stay for breakfast, but Elizabeth politely declines as school is starting soon. Elizabeth makes it clear that Angela is welcome at school, too, but Minnie cuts her off and thanks her; it’s very clear this is not an idea she’s willing to entertain.

Not much to say about this scene. I would die for the Canfields.

--

Scene 3: The Train Station

Lee and Rosemary meet Lee’s sister Susannah and niece Rachel. They’re in Hope Valley for three days. It comes off a little silly because they were no doubt on the train longer than three days, but...eh. It’s all good. Rachel is cute and thought the train ride was...divine.

--

Scene 4: Inquiry Part One

Bill is on the “witness stand” in the inquiry “trial” and he details the events of the prisoner transfer. The short version of this is that Bill did not see the woman discharge her gun; he was looking at the mountie who had drawn his. Hargraves suggests that perhaps the woman fired her rifle due to Nathan’s actions—actions Bill was incapable of seeing.

This is probably the first scene we get where it’s incredibly clear that Superintendent Hargraves just straight-up has it out for Nathan. Meh.

--

Scene 5: Infirmary

Carson is looking for his stethoscope but it’s around his neck. He’s been called away to assist in a modern surgery. Carson tells Faith that they’ll figure things out and Faith admits that right now it feels like they either have to stop working together, or stop seeing each other, and she doesn’t like either option. Carson suggests a date to talk things over when he comes back from his trip.

Molly interrupts them about to kiss, and tells Faith it sounds like they’re working things out. Faith admits that it feels like the status of their relationship changes from minute to minute. Molly...then...asks...Faith for her advice?

Like if Faith isn’t that secure in her relationship, why ask her? My only thought would be that Faith would keep it to herself...unlike some other women in town lol.

--

Scene 6: Barber Shop

Jesse and Mike deliver some small things to the barbershop and we get exposition about how Jesse is in the doghouse after the whole motorcycle thing. I want to say this is a good scene because it continues the flow of the last episode (and we get to see what happens), but... I dunno. It was just okay, I guess.

--

Scene 7: Thirsty Rachel

Rachel and Susannah make it to town and Rachel is a thirsty girl. Specifically for Jesse when he walks by.

I kind of hope this isn’t a “plot” that’s dropped suddenly, but...eh.

--

Scene 8: Fort Clay

Allie is afraid of what will happen to Nathan and tells Elizabeth that she’s worried because Nathan’s been in trouble before; he was suspended when he was stationed at Fort Clay. Fort Clay was Jack’s last post, and nobody seemed to know that that was where Jack was last stationed. Big shocks all around.

This would be...more believable if it hadn’t been three years, and if we didn’t have the most obnoxious man in the world in town already who would have looked into Nathan’s past before trusting him fully. (Hint: I’m talking about Bill.)

I just find it super hard to believe that Bill wouldn’t know this lol. I guess we have to assume that if Bill did look, he only looked at Nathan’s last posting (Ft. Simpson) and didn’t go back to the previous post before that, which was Ft. Clay.

--

Scene 9: Elizabeth talks to Joseph

Elizabeth speaks with Joseph about the kids. She wants him and Minnie to know that Angela is welcome at school for real...and Joseph says he knows, but Minnie is protective of Angela and would prefer to keep schooling her herself.

Elizabeth talks about wanting to learn how to teach a blind student and says she understands why Joseph and Minnie are protective of Angela, but...Joseph tells her she doesn’t actually know, and that he doesn’t expect her to really understand it. He’s exceedingly kind in the way he states this, too. Like he knows Elizabeth grasps the basic concept, but cannot see the whole picture. He’s right, of course. Elizabeth literally cannot understand it.

--

Scene 10: Inquiry Part Two

Nathan gets raked over the coals some more, and him and Hargraves are kind of rude to one another. Bill tries to act as Nathan’s lawyer even though it’s not a court of law. Bill objects to Hargraves’ questions to the point where all the men are at each other’s throats and they call a recess.

It’s kind of nice to see Bill being unreasonable for the right reasons, actually. He so rarely gets to do that anymore... Feels good, feels organic, thank you.

--

Scene 11:Early Dinner

Susannah is a joyless strict woman I guess, and Elizabeth confides in Rosemary that she heard Nathan was stationed at Ft. Clay. Elizabeth feels bad about Nathan never telling her the truth about it and Rosemary suggests that...maybe Nathan didn’t want to bring up something that would be hurtful to her. Elizabeth thinks maybe there’s something he’s not telling her though-- like a reason he wouldn’t want to bring it up.

--

Scene 12: Bill talks to Nathan

Bill confronts Nathan about the “incident” where he was suspended at Fort Clay, and the short version is: Nathan disobeyed the newly promoted Hargraves’ orders and acted on his own. He made the arrests himself but Bill is firmly on Hargraves’ side in that Nathan still disobeyed orders.

Bill admits that it doesn’t sound like the Andrew Hargraves he knew, but Nathan reminds Bill that he knew Hargraves before he was promoted. Bill asks Nathan if he ever met Jack and Nathan says he did not ever have the honor.

It seems clear there’s something more going on there... My guess is that Nathan was part of the team that recovered the bodies of the men that died (specifically Jack’s).

Anyway, Bill tells Nathan he should get some sleep and be ready to come in swinging when they reconvene in the morning. “And this time, take my advice!” This confused me at first, but he means that Nathan should take the advice he literally just gave him: to get sleep and come in swinging.

--

Scene 13: Early Dinner

Gustav tells Lucas he’s spending too much time trying to manage the oil business: “When a man wears two hats, one is sure to fall off.” This comes up because Lucas thought he did the ordering for the saloon but didn’t.

Rachel calls a meal “delish” to the annoyance of her mother. (Delish was in print in 1920 at least, and was probably used well before that, so this is not as inaccurate as it might feel.)

There’s some awkward conversation about Rachel’s future (she wants to do something exciting). It’s the worst.

--

Scene 14: Jesse and Clara

Jesse and Clara have a chat about buying things without talking to one another first and everything is okay and fine again. 

The camera pans over to Nathan and Allie. He tells her he’ll always be there for her and that’s...that.

--

Scene 15: The Motorcycle

Lee tries to sneakily get on the motorcycle to avoid spending time with his uptight sister. Rosemary tells him that she’s sure Susannah wants to ask them something. Lee tells her it’s really none of their business how Susannah raises Rachel.

--

Scene 16: Cooper Goes to School

Cooper gets introduced to the class and the Canfields sit outside listening in on it. He tells the class about his sister. Angela confesses to wanting to play with kids her own age. She’s lonely. Minnie is worried about how the other kids are going to treat Angela, but Joseph feels Hope Valley will be different.

Minnie promises to think about it.

This makes me excited for the potential of a friendship between Angela and Allie. ;o;

--

Scene 17: Inquiry Part Three

Nathan doesn’t try very hard in the courthouse tbh. Bill makes his chair thud loudly so that he can find an opening to speak his mind. “It’s not an objection...you just happened to all be looking my way, so...”

He says it’s possible if Nathan had complied with the woman’s order to release her brother, that they all could have died.

Nathan seems...slightly amused by this?

--

Scene 18: Piano Woman

Angela climbs up on the wagon to play the piano and it’s nice. There isn’t much else to this scene but there didn’t really need to be much else. It’s clear Angela has a passion for music.

--

Scene 19: Molly’s Glow-Up

At the dress shop, Molly tries on the dress Dottie sent over from Union City but feels uncertain about it. Rachel suggests a necklace & sash to complete the look. She admits to Rosemary she’s trying to catch someone’s eye, and Faith tells her she will, looking like that!

Molly decides to buy it.

Rosemary tells Rachel to find something she likes in the shop, and that she can wear something from it.

--

Scene 20: Piano Part Two

Jesse and Elizabeth take Cooper home as Jesse was planning to help Joseph move his piano. Elizabeth seems moved by Angela’s playing. I have to admit I like this scene specifically for the fact that music would be a very popular and enjoyable pastime at this time period because there wasn’t a lot else to keep a person occupied, so it was nice to see it here.

Elizabeth has a heart to heart with Minnie about Angela. Minnie admits she wants Angela to feel safe and encouraged and also tells Elizabeth that she doesn’t understand how cruel people can be. Elizabeth says that wouldn’t be allowed in her classroom (which is silly cause if people say shit, she can’t take that back even if she disciplines a child, you know what I mean?).

But she also tells Minnie that she’ll never stop trying to understand how things are for Angela, or for Minnie, and she won’t stop trying to help. I think Minnie kind of ‘gets it’ but isn’t ready to let go just yet.

--

Scene 21: Tension at the Coulters

Rosemary brings Rachel home wearing the Freedom-Alls (and a lot of makeup). Susannah tells her to change right away. Rosemary tries to intervene and Susannah says that Rachel will be working her the family store. Lee tells Susannah not to talk to Rosemary like that. Everyone is upset. 

--

Scene 22: Bill Confronts Hargraves

While Ned and Florence are on a date in the background, Bill confronts Hargraves about doing the right thing instead of just trying to end Nathan’s career out of some petty grudge he’s feeling. 

I think this scene functions specifically to show us that Hargraves doesn’t actually think he’s being petty, or that he’s abusing his position of power, but part of what Bill is telling him is helping him to see that that’s what he’s doing. It just doesn’t click until later.

Bill storms out of the room only barely acknowledging Molly as he leaves.

It clearly hurts her feelings and Florence rushes over to tell her how hot she looks. Molly’s like, “Yeah I know, I’m hungry and looking amazing. Let’s eat.” And then says “When it comes to Bill it’s all about the long game.”

I need me some of that confidence.

--

Scene 23: Susannah Apologizes

Susannah apologizes for speaking that way to Rosemary (first to Lee and then to Rosemary herself). She then asks Lee and Rosemary to let Rachel live with them for a little while, because she feels they can do better for Rachel than she can, since she’s so much different than Rachel is.

Lee doesn’t want to agree to it, but the answer is an instant yes from Rosemary.

Awkward.

On the plus side, they do talk about how when Susannah was Rachel’s age, she was a caretaker already for their father and never had a chance to live a youthful life. That was a nice touch.

--

Scene 24: Allie’s Speech

Allie tells Elizabeth she’s gonna bust into the courtroom and give them a piece of her mind and Elizabeth doesn’t try to stop her... she just...kind of lets it happen.

Allie busts in just as Hargraves is about to read his recommendation (a two page long spiel). 

Allie says Nathan is all she has and he’s like a father to her. Elizabeth gently coaxes Allie out of the room while everyone looks either moved or uncomfortable lol. Hargraves puts down his speech and decides to drop the inquiry. Lol.

I really wish we’d gotten a scene with Bill and Hargraves after this, just to get more insight into that... but eh. I already posted my minor nitpicks on the scene.

--

Scene 25: Susannah Leaves

That’s the scene lol. She apologizes a little to Rachel for not being better. But it’s mostly a wholesome little scene. Lee seems really NOT on board letting Rachel live with them, though. Yikes.

--

Scene 26: Carson Returns

Carson brings back a gift for Faith and it’s a doctor bag embroidered with her name. Very nice. It would be more meaningful of a gift if he’d gotten it for her well before the whole “not treating her equally” thing.

--

Scene 27: Molly

Molly is standing outside and Florence approaches her to ask what’s up. Molly tells her that she’s outside ‘cause Carson came back and Florence tells her that she needs her own office.  I really do like the way these two talk.

Florence tells Molly again that she looked amazing last night (GAY!!!! I mean, I’d ship it) and Molly says “I did, didn’t I?”

Bill walks by and greets them and then says, “Molly, that was some dress.”

The best part is Florence’s face.

Molly says, “$23.00 well spent!” and they walk off together.

Hey y’all, $23.00 in 1918 is $400.00 today. Yikes?

--

Scene 28: Jinx! Buy me a soda!

Clara and Fiona run into each other and say something at the same time, so they both also say, “Jinx, buy me a soda!”

I literally could not find any information about the history of this saying, though one person did say it dated at least back to 1913 when their great-grandmother would say, “Snap! You owe me a soda!” It feels more 1950s to me than rural 1918 speech, so I personally would not have included this phrase in the writing just for that reason, but...I guess at least it has energy to it.

Fiona mentions that she’s going to visit her family and suggests maybe Clara could run the barber shop while she’s gone.

--

Scene 29: Elizabeth and Lucas, and also Nathan on the Side

Elizabeth decides to be the first to reach out. She apologizes to Lucas for hurting him and he accepts her apology but tells her he had no right to be mean to her.  He apologizes too.

She tells him that she told Nathan she can’t give him what he wants and she won’t be seeing him anymore. So Lucas asks what that means for the two of them, and she says they’ll have to see.

Lucas seems very pleased about that.

Nathan approaches Elizabeth and she tells him that she knew the Mounties would reach the right decision and asks him why he never told her that he was stationed at Ft. Clay. 

He says he meant to tell her but after so much time had passed he didn’t know how to bring it up. He tells her he never met Jack but is kind of evasive about it, which again suggests he did meet him...just possibly...not when Jack was alive.

I still feel it’s going to be that he recovered the body or something like that. Oh, or worse, that he recovered Jack from the landslide but he wasn’t dead yet and possibly even died in front of Nathan.

I really hope if they go that route that Jack didn’t say anything about Elizabeth to Nathan, because that would...make things really weird.

--

This episode had fewer scenes in it than the other episodes, and did more “sweep camera over to the next scene so that the transition is seamless” and that kind of camerawork is really...working for me. It looks nicer and helps things feel less disjointed. You might also have noticed we have fewer massive closeups and a lot more long/wide shots (of people walking or sitting together). I’m really enjoying that, too.

I hope y’all’re looking forward to the next episode as much as I am. :)

#when calls the heart #season 8 shenanigans #season 8 spoilers

[filmmakerdreamst]

‘Boy Meets World’ Re-watch (as an Adult)

‘Girl Meets World’ doesn’t count as a sequel. Not because of the writing/tonal choices but because in the original show - despite continuity issues - the characters felt like real people e.g. the way they spoke/acted/dressed was the way people behaved in the 90s where as in the spin off, they were Disney characters e.g. hyper versions of themselves especially Cory and Eric. And the transition between both shows didn’t come naturally. It’s not an objectivity badly written show but it was pretty much a re-do of the old show with the same storylines/tropes without continuing the story. (I say the same thing about ‘The Incredibles’. vs ‘Incredibles 2’.) Also there were too many cooks in the kitchen pushing one way or another. You could see Micheal Jacobs style, all the aspects were there, but he was also creating a ‘DISNEY’ show at the same time. I don’t know about you but the one message I took from the original show was ‘finding out that life cannot be packenged into a lovely little present ’ which kind of contradicts everything that the new show is. If anything GMW is an AU universe (and it really felt like that, rewatching it right after BMW e.g. it felt flipped) almost like Disney’s version of ‘what happened next?’ The primal difference between both shows is BMW is portraying what is real and GMW is based on what is real.

Going off my point, I will however be always thankful that it exists because I probably wouldn’t of found out about ‘Boy Meets World’ otherwise. Although saying that, I never thought that the original show needed a continuation of any kind (a lot of things make sense about the spin off if you acknowledge that Disney requested it - I think it would of been much better off on its original platform) ‘Boy Meets World’ was very much a product of its time i.e. when tv shows were still relevetivley new and had no rules - like there is stuff in there that not even adult shows today have. Plus there was something about it that felt very personal (such as the characters and setting) as if the creator based it on his own childhood growing up and I think that was part of its charm and why it had such a big effect on pop culture - I’m not so sure you can repeat that.

BMW is big on meta I’ll tell you that. I love how it’s so aware of itself. The amount of depth that it has never ceases to amaze me. It’s whole universe is so dense and huge. Every quote/storyline is so unique it sticks in your brain forever. (I swear the humour got more and more deranged every season). The show was also incredibly queer and progressive.  It didn’t give a crap about sexuality. Much more than I remember. Proof to never use ‘but it was made in the 90s’ excuse.        

I loved how the show kept reinventing itself every season as Cory grew up so you really felt you were growing up with him and all the characters. The Character Development on this show was so natural/authentic. Every single character got a chance to shine. No one changed their look in one episode and no one had an intervention every time someone had an identity crisis (GMW) My favourite development was Shawn Hunter. He went from a cool kid to a ladies man to a poetic soul. It was so satisfying to watch.

I realised that Cory Matthews is actually my favourite character (before it was Eric or Shawn) I already have a special soft spot for ‘annoying’ characters because they tend to be the most memorable/real. For example, Karma Ashcroft from ‘Faking it’ was my babe while everyone was hating on her. I really related to his anxiety/self hatred about being average and I loved that he constantly made mistakes. It was very refreshing. He’s also incredibly queer-coded. I found that alot of his mannerisms make sense if you see him with extreme compulsory heterosexuality (because identity’s such as bisexual or gay couldn’t exist normally in the 90s) There are moments in the show where he literally mimics his best friend’s behaviour around girls e.g. when the class pretty much gets brainwashed by the sex ed video in ‘Boy Meets Girl’ Shawn gets asked out by a girl, making Cory jealous - which pushes him to ask out Topanga.

It’s funny how a few years of life experience can change perspectives completely because when I was sixteen (aka the same age as Cory and Topanga) watching BMW for the first time, I was mad at Amy for ‘not understanding that they were in love’ (in ‘A Walk to Pittsburg’) but now that I’m older I’m actually agreeing with her. Yeah, what do they know about love? Because all season long they were acting quite superficially.

Cory and Topanga became somewhat of a toxic couple in seasons 5 -7. Reminded me of my parents relationship because my mum gave up her chosen university to be closer to my dad and they aren’t together any more. Topanga’s love for Cory was very conditional and Cory cheated on her multiple times/openly begged for sex  (Again like my parents) And you should never be in a relationship with someone who makes you say “You make me think not so very much of myself” There are arguably much more signs of emotional abuse than love in their relationship especially from Topanga’s side. Plus their story was altered so many times to give it more basis (they retconned Shawn and Cory’s friendship to do this) I could write an essay on how Kevin and Winnie’s love story on ‘The Wonder Years’ is much more believable because it actually addresses how toxic it was and they grow apart in the end. If GMW was a realistic continuation, they would be divorced with a little girl - leave them in the 90s where they belong.

Alan and Amy were couple goals! Cory and Topanga wish that they could have what they have. Literally the definition of ‘a healthy relationship on tv that keeps thriving and over coming obstacles without big drama’. Best TV parents ever.

I loved the Matthews family; how they all had individual arcs and developments of their own. One of my favourite arcs was in season 5, when Eric and Cory were both jealous of what they ‘didn’t have’ with their dad, so Alan made an effort to give them both that they needed. Honestly, I had never seen so much healthy communication on TV before. Alan is the best father around. His whole personal arc of giving up managing a supermarket because he wasn’t passsionate about it anymore and buying a mountain store was so inspired. I found it funny that the family had more of a relationship with Shawn than Topanga.

Shawn Hunter never caught a break. It got a bit tiring. He was never allowed to be happy for five minutes. Every time he laughed or smiled, 5 years were added onto my lifespan. Why didn’t Johnathan Turner adopt him? I loved their dynamic. Why did he let him go back to his abusive father who just dumped him anyway?

Jack and Shawn’s complicated dynamic was possibly the most unique/interesting arc of the entire show and no one talks about it. I don’t care what y’all say - despite them being very different, Jack was the only one who fully took care of Shawn without second thoughts (Turner and the Matthews family had doubts)

I liked Shawn and Angela. I thought they were much better suited than Cory and Topanga. I honestly wouldn’t of minded if they ended up together even though I always had a feeling they wouldn’t. (Like I’m glad she went with her dad in the end) And considering how important they were as a interracial couple in the 90s, GMW handled that very poorly.

Shawn and Cory should of ended up together. And before you come at me with ‘it’s important to have m/m friendships without toxic masculinity’ (which is an important arguement to have) - yeah no shit there’s an entire Industry based around that/pitting women against each other. While it is important to have those friendships between men that are close and even intimate (take Chandler and Joey, Schmidt and Nick, Isak and Jonas and Jake and Charles for example) there was also another layer to their relationship which the narrative played off sometimes as them “going out” or “in love”.  I actually recently found out that a writer - who came into the show in season 3 - confirmed that she wrote gay undertones into their relationship on purpose ‘In my opinion as a writer, they thought they were “straight”, they both didn’t realise or understand their feelings for eachother’ but couldn’t deliever because the producers wanted to keep the show “kid friendly”. Kind of like Xena and Gabby. I know people prefer Jack & Eric (I love them as well) but everything got ruined for me as soon as they introduced the ‘love triangle’ and I always tend to prefer emotional tension over sexual. They were just so unconditional with each other/ their friendship was so good and healthy and now I’m so bitter that it never happened.

I never understood why Shawn and Cory had to stop being best friends after he got married. He’s not Topanga’s property. I always hated how Topanga tried to interrupt/interfere with their dynamic — although now I realise it was because the two of them purposely left her out. Looking back at it, If it really was just a intimate friendship then why would she get so easily jealous if she didn’t sense there was something else deeper going on? You should never marry someone who puts you second.

I didn’t like Topanga when she was with Cory (or vice versa) Especially after they got married. She was a great character on her own. Feminist before her time. Hermione Granger before her time. I always felt she deserved a lot better than him in a way e.g. if someone I considered a friend speard a rumour around high school that we slept together - I would never speak to that person again. SHE SHOULD OF GONE TO YALE GOD DAMN IT. And as someone pointed out the other day, if the roles were reversed some of the stuff she does or says to Cory would be considered domestic violence. ‘She’s always blaming Cory on shit that isn't even his fault or makes him feel bad or shuts down his emotions and turns it around so he's comforting her instead.’ There was even a moment in GMW (not that I consider that show a continuation) where she locks him out the house for a few days after he insulted her chicken, and his son Auggie had to bring him spaghetti. If Cory was a woman, that would not be played off as a joke - that would be considered abuse. They were however a better couple in GMW ironically.

Angela Moore is now one of my favourite characters on BMW. She was beautiful. Her friendship with Rachel (and Topanga) was the best. And I frickin’ loved her and Cory’s friendship development - when they could of easily not played into that. I hate that she got villiaized in GMW.

My favourite seasons are 4, 5 & 1. My least favourites are 3 & 2 & 7. And even then the show was still pretty darn good.

The back and fourth clash between Turner and Mr Feeny in season 2 was very entertaining.

Mr Feeny and Eric are my favourite relationship on ‘Boy Meets World’. I love how Eric was the only person that Feeny directly told that he loved him. Also, why didn’t Eric become the new Mr Feeny? He showed more traits of becoming a teacher in the show than Cory did.

Eric and Tommy was probably the most heartbreaking plot line in season 6. (That season was an emotional train wreck) I cried for a fourth time. The world doesn’t deserve him.

I loved the development of Shawn and Topanga’s friendship. Even though there was a silent competition over Cory, they eventually became good friends. I found out that the song ‘She will be loved’ was inspired by them which is awesome but it’s also proof that people ship for less if it’s an m/f dynamic - just sayin’. I however see a more convincing potiental romance with the two of them than Cory and Topanga sometimes.

On Cory and Topanga again - they weren’t a bad couple overall. I liked them in s1 - 3. They had some great moments. But upon my rewatch (getting out of that 90s idealised headspace) I found them to be too similar at times - chafing as another person put it - to the point where they cancel each other out. A lot of people pointed out that Riley and Maya paralleled them and I was thinking “That’s not nesserily a good thing.”

‘Dream. Try. Do good.’ is on my mantelpiece.

#each to its own at the end of the day #boy meets world #rewatch #review #cory matthews #shawn hunter #topanga lawrence #angela moore #jack hunter #eric matthews #mr feeny #alan matthews #amy matthews #morgan matthews #girl meets world #cory x topanga #cory x shawn #shory #shawn x cory #shawn x topanga #bmw #tv show #shawn x angela #chet hunter #micheal jacobs #queer subtext #disney + #topanga matthews #corpanga #jack x eric

[purplesurveys]

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Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to?  Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now?  Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school?  To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there?  Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”?  It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened?  Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks?  Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without?  Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not?  Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet. 

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why?  Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play?  Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something?  The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about?  Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects?  Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel?  No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework?  Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why?  I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city?  I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline. 

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult?  Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed?  I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place?  I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you?  I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall?  We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD?  No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family?  Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with?  My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook?  I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds?  Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them?  Who was the last person you dreamt about?  My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened?  Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn?  As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What?  TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid?  No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow?  Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift?  I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty?  Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why?  I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child?  We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out?  They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about?  Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it. 

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory?  Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe.  I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter?  Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc)  No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war?  No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?  Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly?  The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet?  Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to?  I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried?  So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better?  Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku?  I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money?  I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better?  Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes?  I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh?  Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live?  A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in?  Angela.

Does your car have an alarm?  Sure.

Where was your mom born?  Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what?  My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why?  I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you?  I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say?  Probably. But nothing sticks out.

#survey #surveys