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hamartia-grander · 9 months

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the ask you sent was so fun so you KNOW i gotta send one back

it's been a while since i was into dbh, but i remember seeing alice n kara and loving them both. do you have any thoughts on them? it can be either of them individually, their relationship, or just how they're treated in the fandom

ok ok thank you bye !!

Oh my GODDDD YES. THANK YOU😭

Kara is my absolute favourite character. No one does it like her. She's just incredible, plus Valorie is insanely talented and she outperformed, making Kara more loveable.

Kara and Alice's storyline is not my favourite to play but it is my favourite as a whole, because of the found family element. That shit's my favourite. I hate d*vid c*ge, I despise how he shoved Kara into a stereotypical Mother role just because she's the only playable woman, ESPECIALLY since this game is only possible because of her. I hate how he used domestic abuse to make her storyline more "thriller" (because the only way he can imagine women feeling fear is if a man is beating them), and I hate how she is the only one who can die so early on and has less chapters than the other two male leads. But, I love Kara tremendously and her story is like a breath of fresh air from Connor's, and a relief when Markus's stresses me out lol.

I really disliked the "Alice is an android" plottwist. Not only was it dumb and predictable, but the way it was handled was sooooo lame and insulting to Kara's character. "she just chose not to remember" because they couldn't reveal it to the audience too soon. Like what kinda explanation is that. There's just so many inconsistencies the "plottwist" created in the story. And it felt entirely tasteless considering Kara was meant to be a bridge between androids and humanity, being an android who so deeply cares for and loves a human child enough to take care of her at any cost. That meaningfulness dies as soon as Alice is no longer human.

But I will defend Alice any time. I do love her. So much of this fandom complains about her being a numb child which is INSANE to me because we all saw her being abused by Todd. Like ffs. Complaining about her "I'm cold", she's a goddamn kid and she's cold, you want her to suck it up? After everything she's been through? God.

Also I'd argue, and have argued before, that Kara is the closest example we have to how a hypothetical ai gaining sentience and emotions would look. Again it's entirely theoretical and not possible in real life, but we actively see her gaining true emotion, we see how she rewrites her programming to suit her, and I wish we had more of it in the game. She's the only character whose emotional responses can be irrational, and therefore are genuine emotional responses. She even says, regarding Alice, "I can't be happy if she's not". That's not rational at all, but it IS a very common emotional response to caring about someone. We know she genuinely cares for Alice because of this. Kara is a beautiful character and I fucking wish the fandom acknowledged her more.

I could rant for days on how they're both mistreated by the fandom but I won't right now. They're both girls, I'm sure you can imagine what they go through at the hands of the fandom and how utterly undeserved and misogynistic it all is.

Ultimately when I ignore the context of the director and writer I am able to fully enjoy their story and their characters. But as soon as I think about DC I fume lol. As is MOST if not ALL things in this game. I honestly feel the only thing I truly enjoy about the game is the characters, and Kara and Alice are great characters. Well written despite the game's overall writing flaws, and very easy to love and understand. I love how passionate and stubborn and caring Kara is. I love how wonderful and loving and compassionate Alice is. I love and miss them both so much

#Thank you love 🥲💜💕#My blorbos #dbh #detroit become human #Dbh Kara #Dbh Alice

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wtftarot · 2 years

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PAC Reading: The Chariot

The Chariot talks about willpower, drive, and taking the reins in your own life. It's having a balance between creativity and logic, using both to go after your goals. What parts of yourself do you need to harness to achieve your goals?

This reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional help in any capacity. Remember your choices are all your own, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick one of the Sphinxes or the lil white square on his chest and head to your pile

Sphinx One

Y'all seem to be avoiding deeper emotions. For some of you, it's just emotions entirely. It's not even that you're avoiding negative or 'bad' emotions. You're also avoiding the things that can bring you a deeper sense of joy. I think it's genuine emotion that you're avoiding. Y'all seem to have this view of emotions that they're irrational, soft, weak and I'm hearing gross, so I guess for at least one of you emotions are gross. The one that is being pushed the most though is thinking being emotional = being dumb. I'm seeing this example of someone who judges someone for something, then they go and do it in secret. You may be the type to deprive yourself of something in the name of being 'rational'. Now, the way it's being shown to me is that you are going SO damn far avoiding emotions that you're being more illogical now then you would have been if you just let yourself FEEL. It's gotten to the point that being 'logical' is costing you. It's like you see being unemotive as a strength? Listen, the strength is understanding when and how to communicate your emotions. Not just avoiding them. Because let's be honest here, you feel emotions. You're just running from them. You think that if you keep pushing them away and pushing them down you'll somehow reach a point where you're okay and you just don't have to deal with them. Babe. You want to be happy, you want to FEEL happy. We all do. And that's the thing. You're trying so so fucking hard to convince yourself that you don't want things and you don't need/have emotions but you do. You want to be loved (platonically or romanticly). You want to do things that make you feel things. You do all this shit to prove to yourself or others that you're strong, but babe, you are strong, you have nothing to prove. The Chariot is all about combining two opposite things together and using them to move forward. What it's here to tell you is that you CAN be both emotional and rational. They aren't even opposites, you just think they are. Emotions are another way our body and subconscious communicate with us. Emotions tell you what you think in a lot of ways. You feel happy? You think something is nice or good. You feel sad/angry you think something is wrong. Now, that doesn't mean what you think/feel is always right, you can and will misunderstand situations. We all do. But condemning yourself for feeling something? For laughing when you're happy? Or crying when you're sad? Is not helping anyone. I'm serious. Tell me who are you helping by not letting yourself be happy or sad? Who the hell could benefit from that? Because it certainly isn't you. The Chariot is here saying to achieve your goals. to live your life and own it. You have to let yourself feel it.

Random ass vibes: Sun, spend some time in nature. globes, yellow flowers, a lot of yellow here, Leo, 777, dancing,

Two

The lil Square

Y'all seem to be actively avoiding your potential. I think some of y'all know this and others may not. Y'all see going after what you want as rocking the boat for some reason. You may be in a situation where letting yourself embrace your potential will make someone else insecure, make others mad, or you feel like they'll judge you for what you're good at. There's a bit here about seeing your true potential for what it is as being egotistical or arrogant. Honey, I'm here to tell you it's not. I promise. Why are y'all judging yourselves for what you're good at?? There are enough people in the world who will judge you for shit, you don't need to do their job for them. You seem to think that if you pick at yourself before others can, you'll catch every flaw or you'll be able to handle criticism better. That ain't how this works. Because A: most 'flaws' people pick at are more about preference, what one person hates about what you do others will love you for it. B: You end up breaking yourself down before you even get started because you're soo focused on the 'flaws' that you don't see the awesome parts. And C: You end up fitting yourself into a model that is palatable to everyone and lose what you liked about it in the process. It's impossible to be liked and approved of by everyone. You seem to be soo focused on all you're not good at and just dismissing what you are good at. Babe, you need to reverse that. Own your strengths. If others don't like that they can go fuck themselves. There's a bit here about comparing yourself and being afraid of competition. Here's the thing about that though: Yes, there will be people better at whatever you're trying to do. BIG BUT HERE (haha), that does not take away from your strengths. It doesn't. Someone else being good at something doesn't make you bad at it. A rose is good at being a flower, but that doesn't mean a sunflower is bad at it. That being said, YOU CAN BE 'BAD' AT SOMETHING. THAT IS OKAY. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING TO JUST DO IT. YOU CAN DO IT JUST FOR YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING TO JUSTIFY DOING IT. GETTING JOY FROM DOING IT IS REASON ENOUGH. There's an underlying message here about jealousy and letting others do things that they enjoy badly. See, when we judge ourselves for something, we usually end up judging others for it. Everyone does this to some extent, we're human after all. The advice here is to let yourself just be and do and not judge yourself for it. That will reflect outward towards others. As above so below, as inward so outward. When you feel safe enough with yourself to let yourself reach your potential fully AND openly be bad at some things, others will feel safe enough with you to do the same.

Random ass vibes: camping, bugspray, sunglasses, 13, Cancer, art, perfectionism, doritos, swimming, drink some water, Virgo

Sphinx Two

Y'all came through strong, y'all may have some intuitive abilities going on here. You seem to have this fucked perception of yourself and your intelligence. You seem to be more emotional, maybe even consider yourself sensitive. What I'm seeing is that you may think that means you lack judgment or rational thinking. And that embracing your more logical side means losing your emotional intelligence. (the other sphinx group had the exact opposite issue, which is kinda cool cause one sphinx is meant to represent logic and the other emotion, and the chariot brings them both together) You may have been taught to believe that being sensitive means being weak, and means you lack intelligence. Which we know is bullshit. You seem to take it one step further though and avoid things that require you to use your mind. Y'all seem to feel like you just can't do things, can't make decisions because you can't trust your judgment. Maybe people have talked to you that way so much that you've started to believe it. Well, fuck that. YOU ARE SMART. YOU ARE CAPABLE. You absofuckinlutly can be emotional AND smart. It's okay to feel things deeply. It's okay to be sensitive. You need to understand that there is more to you than that though. You're not stuck with one singular trait. You can be a motherfucking badass and cry during sad movies, or happy movies for that matter. Y'all seem to have been put in this limiting box, whether by yourself or others or society it doesn't matter. What matters is you saying fuck it and embracing every side of yourself. The emotional side. The confident side. The smart side. The shy side. The brave side. The scared side. The wild side. The tame side. You are a full, complex person. We all are. You're limiting yourself by keeping yourself in this box. You don't have to maintain this easy-to-grasp personality for the people around you. Yea, they may not be able to handle the full complexity that is you but that's their problem. Complex doesn't mean bad. Each and every one of us is full of complexity and contradictions. We're human. I keep hearing 'they'll think it's weird'. Sweetheart, does that really matter? I'm serious. Some people think tarot is weird and here we are. Even the roughest opinions are just that, opinions. (Y'all may want to read the second pile's reading, it may help you.) No matter what you do, someone somewhere will have a problem with it. Are you really going to let that stop you? You really are going to deprive yourself of something awesome purely because someone else (who doesn't give a shit what you think of them) will be whiny about it? No offense babe, but I think you need to reevaluate your priorities.

random ass vibes: juicy fruit gum, 11:11, legally blonde, reading, doves, hockey, angels, 22,

#tarot readings #Spotify #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #tarotblr #divination #free tarot #tarot reader #pac reading #pick a pile #pick a card #the chariot #pick a card reading #pick a photo

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if-im-being-honest · 3 months

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I wish anxiety was taken more seriously as a mental health condition. When I say I have anxiety I don't mean I just feel a bit nervous sometimes (and for some people that's what they experience and that sucks too but it's not what I'm talking about) my anxiety causes me physical pain from being so tense, it's put me in risky situations because I've been too scared to get medical care, the panic attacks make me lose control completely when they pass I find bruises and scratches on my body from where I was trying to ground myself, my anxiety is so bad sometimes I think I'd be better of dead, I don't know what's irrational fear and what's genuine danger so I do dumb shit and get myself hurt, I'd take anything to get out of my head even just for a minute I can't concentrate on anything some days I feel like I'm dying. And I can't explain that to anyone because no one really gets how bad it can be.

#mental health #mental illness #vent #anxiety issues #anxiety problems #anxiety attack #anxiety

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saltypiss · 1 year

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"Acksshtually if we interpreted the bible correctly it would be a very good leftist based religion"

Cool! Unfortunately the problem isn't necessarily the bible, it's the religion, and the fact every christian has their own personal version of said religion. And none of them have read the bible.

Does it matter what the instruction manual says when everyone can and does what they want without it?

Christianity has a plethora of versions, but they all end the same way "I'm morally above and allowed because Jesus" it's an excuse not to think, not to self-reflect. If the bible was more lefty, it'd ask you to reconsider, not quadruple down with your own ideology applied to it and give you literally God as a teammate to lynch gays and browns.

But that's just me, looking at it as the situation is, and the "interpretations" are, which is that: You can only utilize the hateful parts of the religion, but you can't do shit in any country with the "good" parts.

Give away your belongings to the poor? Well that's dumb! This is america, if I do that, I go homeless!

Yeah maybe times change and certain parts of the instruction manual become outdated, specifically all the "good" parts because the way we run things these days is counter to the fairytales in these books. America is far closer to a religion of the rich than ever christian. But again, the instruction manuals just outdated, you can leave out the parts about being a good person, just stick with the parts that say "hate people for being different"

Idunno. It's kinda like comparing how you should play minecraft to how people actually play minecraft. Sure, some mostly build and play survival, but most are doing all sorts of gamemodes that hardly have relevance to minecraft. Hardly anyone plays minecraft purely vanilla survival anymore.

The bible spawned interpretations, and every single one is "hate the different" that doesn't happen without a catalyst from within it. Minercaft isn't fascist despite Notch working on it. Point being: The religious chose the worst parts and that is their religion, it's all they chose to know of their religion. That is the religion. Hate. The only difference is there's a company that keeps interpretations within a bubble.

In this instance the main difference is the allowment of other playstyles. Christianity is hard fascism through and through. It doesn't allow anything other than christianity. And only certain kinds, the hateful ones, are allowed into the public label.

Otherwise why are there mostly bigotted christians you hear about? Sure, negative news cycles n such, but I've never seen a christian do good without strings attached.

Idunno, I guess I just find it funny how every politician and CEO has modified Christianity every other while to their own personal beliefs and instead of ever questioning, the religious just allow and excuse.

God is used by children to rationalize an angry drunken parent from further mindless abuse. Not adults in actual real life situations discussing whether or not people should be allowed exist.

Idunno, but christianity has literally never not had strings attached to their actions. I do good for the fun of it. That's not comendable, it's standard, it's human, it's the fucking baseline. The want to do good is inherent.

They do good because it makes their boss happy, not because it's enjoyable or makes sense. If there's no benefit, they wouldn't even try to have an appearance of good. And at that point, they're not doing good for good's sake, they're doing good to please, and that's genuinely disheartening. We need good people in the world, not religious people, mostly not the christians.

It's incredible how maby religions there are, literally almost all bad, but america chose the most counter culture possible choice they could. You got a religion that runs counter to politics and our current government, and a religion that's stuck in the 100s in 2023. All so they can excuse their feelings of irrational bigotry and hate.

Christianity! It stopped being genuine a long time ago.

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mentalisttraceur · 2 years

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If I can at all help it, I will never again subject any of you, my dear readers, to stuff like my last post.

This instance seemed necessary when I wrote it.

Of course, maybe it's not. Maybe it's like hurting an abused dog for doing abused dog things. Like it's backing into a corner and yelping and snarling, and my reaction is to yell at the dog about how it's stupid and shouldn't be acting how it is because it's irrational. The dog's doing it's best. It doesn't know any better for fuck's sake! it doesn't even have the mental tools to do better or understand how it's doing wrong!

Yes, humans have much more potential and opportunity to gain those mental tools. But if they don't have them yet, then they probably deserve all the compassion that the dog does.

Maybe I should know better. Maybe I do. Better than making that last post I mean, because maybe that post is me yelling angrily at the dog. I don't know.

I do know I don't have the emotional stamina and the constitution to handle most abused animals. Not yet anyway. If I had one in my house and no choice to give it away calmly and peacefully before it got to be too much, I'd definitely eventually run out of coping, lash out at it, and probably eventually chase it out forever or otherwise get rid of it. Unless they fall into fawning adoration and loyalty towards me, and even then I wouldn't be the best possible owner for that abused animal.

Abused humans are even harder, when their abuse adaptations are the right shape. They can put that abused interpreting-and-reacting cognition stream slurry into words, words which are wrong and false and assert I am much worse than I am but which refuse all correction, words which I find offensive and threatening, words that trigger the fuck out of me across basically all dimensions that I can be triggered by at once.

I'm an abused animal too. You don't put two abused dogs in a cage together, not when they both have the abuse adaptation of ramping up into a fighting rage and never backing down. That's how you get violent, bloody outcomes. Like, past a certain point there isn't even a reasonable de-escalation path, once either dog feels that the only possible de-escalation is to submit to unacceptable mistreatment by the other. And it's utter bullshit that I need to be the bigger dog when this one's not just more in the wrong, but also always initiating this shit, always getting into my cage, and then picking fights, over and over.

And that's what this person that I've blocked has done, over and over and over. She shows up and starts interacting and then eventually starts doing the equivalent of interpersonal snarling for one reason or another. Oh sure from her perspective it's all always been appropriate reactions to something bad I said, believed, or did, which she interpreted through her abuse-warped lens.

Because just like abused fighting dogs, we both have hair-trigger heuristics for pattern-matching things as the threats we're used to seeing, so like I can't make a bunch of interpersonal movements which are at worst insensitive or clumsy and at best innocuous without her reacting as if I'm a threat or as if it must be ill-intentioned, like a dog jumping and snarling at the other dog for moving suddenly or unexpectedly, or in its direction, tunnel-visioning so hard that it doesn't consider that for example the water bowl is in that direction you dumb fuck. But then since the other dog is also deeply abused into predicting attacks and abuse, it can't just confidently calmly treat the snarling as a non-threat, it feels like it must snarl back to rebuke the snarling before it ramps up to an attack.

For years I've tried to be patient and calm instead of angrily telling them off, tried to make every statement maximally constructive when disagreeing, tried to actively acknowledge the ways in which my words genuinely hurt her on occasion when I walked into yet another thing that plenty of other people wouldn't mind but which happened to trigger her, even tried to hold back on criticizing the interpretation and thinking on her part that was just as much part of the cause of the hurt.

And while I can consistently simulate perspectives in which her reactions to me are good and right and make sense, she has consistently said things which evidence that she can't do the same for why I say or do things.

But at this point I've been so worn down from how this person's bullshit hurts me that I'm starting to feel that skew in my mind towards automatic bad-faith interpretations of her actions, the degradation and delays in my ability to simulate good-intentioned reasons for her actions and statements.

Ideal me would have secure nonchalance about it all. Ideal me would have no reason to be triggered by anything that goes on in the minds of others. But that's because ideal me is never actually trapped in a situation like that without deep unshakable and justified confidence that I can just get out, soon enough for it to not be a major deal. I don't have to be another abused dog snarling back, but that requires seeing enough evidence that there is no need to snarl back, that I can safely not react to the snarling as a threat.

But I can't even get a clear picture yet of what I would do from such a mindset. I've never been in it long enough, not with respect to the kind of threats that this person regularly seems like to me. Of course, she's got the same problem.

*sigh*

At least I can see it. I can see the "I'm just angrily and menacingly yelling at an abused dog for snarling at me" angle, and the compassion for that is there, and the renewed optimism for nicer approaches that it encourages. Of course I've seen this before, but at least I caught another glimpse of it. I might struggle to have the patience any more to be nicer accordingly, or any faith that it can actually work, but the vision is still accessible and compelling.

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jade-soulbear · 2 years

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MC still being kinda weird, plus an awkward talk on centrism-6/4/22

Hello again! Today was kind of a strange day. I came in on time, and nothing much happened in school (we watched Lady Bird in English class, which is probably the most "coming of age" film I've ever seen, it's entertaining but I can't really feel sympathy for the main character because they go really far with the " no one understands her" trope without giving us any reason to understand her because she's irrational and mean lol, in politics class I didn't have to do anything because it was politics class and I finished the project I was supposed to do agessss ago). Everyone was in today, MC, FW, OF and CW, and with all these people it still felt very awkward. CW was leading most of the conversation talking about how bad the movie Morbius was because he went to see it yesterday, but MC was still very quiet and reserved and I wasn't sure what to say to FW, because I think we're both kinda bad at starting conversations.

After the school day ended, MC and OF and I went to the supermarket to get food and then we sat outside around the side where barely anyone comes and talked. OF, as he usually does, began to talk about politics and stuff (he is an anarchist and pretty far left). Now, I have a running joke, that whenever OF goes on one of his political rants, I would counter it by taking on a persona of one of these politically incorrect radio loudmouths which annoys him. I don't actually believe these things I say and I'm actually quite left wing like him, but a year ago alot of the group were kinda snooty about their political beliefs and if you disagreed they'd look at you like you had two heads and scoff at you (another reason why Anna doesn't get on with the group anymore) you couldn't even joke about not agreeing with them, so I began to slowly poke fun at OF and over time I made bigger and bigger jokes which would eventually make the group less snooty, and for the most part it worked. But today was kinda different.

Same as yesterday, MC was laughing and joking around with my persona, and they began asking what a "centrist" even is (I called myself a centrist because when i was alot younger I fell down the rabbit hole that many newly-pubescent teenagers do of Ben Shapiro videos and feminist-rekt compilations, but I didn't want to be right wing because i wasnt homophobic or anything and I thought centrist sounded smarter at the time because you considered both sides of the argument). OF showed them an article on it and they were like "this shit is genuinely wrong, they have to pick a side", which whether you agree with what they were saying or not, it was mainly just that they had an aura about them like they were waiting for me to say something and their voice had already become raised. I eventually had to clarify that I don't really believe this stuff, which I thought would've been obvious because the points I bring up are really dumb. And OF responded with "of course you're left wing, you're gay", which is its own little can of worms. I'm not gonna sit here and be like "aww right wing gays are so underrepresented" but I just think it sets a bit of a weird standard to be like all gay people have the same views.

Anyways things mellowed out and I went home, after that not much happened. Anna replied to me and she was kinda pissed about MC acting like I was being rude to Anna. She is biased against MC cuz she doesn't like them but to be fair when MC was mad at me for supposedly being rude to Anna, it felt more like a grasp at the moral high ground from the way that they phrased it, and im sure they wouldn't want Anna to be genuinely made fun of for their hyperfixating but it felt like there were also ulterior motives, because they know that I'm also neurodivergent and I talk to Anna everyday, so its not like I dislike her.

Overall, I'm not disagreeing with alot of the stuff that I'm complaining about. I'm complaining because in the past few days, MC has been very quiet and won't talk for the most of the day and then suddenly gets very confronting on different things, usually things that they know I already know about. Idk, I hope this all mellows out soon.

After that, I studied for an Irish exam I suddenly found out was tomorrow and I watched another episode of twin peaks, and now I am in bed finishing this up. Night Night to everyone!

#centrism #left wing

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