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wyllsravengard · 1 month

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there's a lot of discussion and speculation about the fact john doesn't speak of arthur in rdr1. logistically it's not hard to understand that rdr1 just came out years before rdr2 and thats why but . But.

but when you think of rdr1 with the additional context two, there is something quite... in line with john trying to forget arthur. wanting to. or burying him. not just in metaphor or in soil but in his memories and in some way failing to do it but in another succeeding

you think of john and his commitment to his son and wife and you think of his willingness to do anything for them. moral or not. righteous or not. and you think of the fact that john didn't know at the time the sort of man arthur believed him to be, but he perhaps modeled himself in the image of his older brother. near incidental. he has so little in common with arthur really. john's broody and lacking remorse and at twenty-six he's inconsiderate entirely in a way arthur never was.

but time is a thief and one day, he turns 38. he's older than arthur when he dies. and john doesn't remember well what he looks like, and all he can feel when he thinks of arthur is grief. grief that never ends. thats the thing about all of it, you'll realize - is that john knows arthur best in the retroactive.

the sort of complicated, odd man arthur was revealed to him in the creases of pages and keepsakes. in the carving of his guns that john finds after arthur is gone. in the ring of the woman arthur loved long ago. in the confessionals to his son isaac and the regret in the letters he wrote to their psuedo father. you realize john knows more of arthurs stagnant ghost that can't guide john into manhood the way he so desperately needs. and it's all he has to go by to make a man of himself.

john never finds out what kind of man arthur believed him to be and he has to infer the real good man arthur was. in grief there is love. john loved arthur enough to want to be like him. and in burying the living, breathing man arthur was he's forced to cling to his spirit. has to piece together the kindness of his older brother through memories and diary entries and secondhand stories. and that's how he models himself in rdr1 to me. where arthur is moral john becomes dutiful and where arthur is kind, john is helpful. he becomes the shadow of arthurs best qualities. he can never be arthur. no one could ever be arthur, even if arthur had given them the page by page instructions of how to do so. this is all he has. all he knows. all he can do.

john misses his brother. so he tries to embody him. but he can't really in the same way he can't grieve him. so he makes a home for arthurs ghost to return to in himself. john never mentions arthur because it dregs up painful what-ifs, but they share so many mannerisms and bastardized qualities. john has fashioned himself based on those loose memories.

one day, a stranger meets john and says. "why would you remember me, friend? you've forgotten far more important people than me" and john will remember all the ghosts he's ever loved briefly. there will be a blurry face and a forgiving voice and it will sound like a memory and it will linger in johns ribcage like a moth. and john won't remember. he won't. he can't. he buried his brother without ever doing it.

john says a lot of things. feels a lot of things. he shoots his gun to the stranger who calls his memory into question and the thing jams and the bastard roams free. john will taste blood in his mouth. he'll feel a cough in his lungs and well, he won't remember his brother still. buried men must stay buried.

of course. of course john never mentions arthur. he can't remember him, even though he's inherited so much of his manner. to speak it of him would be admitting to his existence. its admitting: i miss you. im sorry. it was my fault.

of course john never mentions arthur. he's made all this effort in forgetting him that even when his body and his gesture and his character betray the fact he's forgotten - his mind will soothe the pain and blur out his face.

and instead of remembering in life even once, he'll die the same way arthur did. alone. protective. contented. redeemed. john loves arthur like most brothers do - with muscle memory.

even if john cuts the necrosis of arthurs memory off of him, his body will twitch at the phantom feeling of his existence. john remembers even when he can't. arthur his only brother. the most important man he's ever forgotten.

#z.gen #arthur morgan #john marston #rdr1 #rdr2 #rdr1 spoilers #rdr2 spoilers #im feeling soooooo miserable about them you wouldnt believe

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deathsbestgirl · 1 month

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@calimanc okay the william part. i know this won't be popular but i also love it lol (surprise, surprise)

i completely understand why people hate that scully gave william up, but i just don't see any other choice. if mulder didn't leave (because dd sucked lol) it may have worked for them to keep him. but children on a show like this really change things.

it's so freaking bittersweet seeing scully & mulder with william. it's something they both wanted more than they ever let on, than they ever dared to voice.

mulder is william's father, i really don't think there's any doubt about it. they were sleeping together, they were in a romantic relationship, they love each other beyond what anyone can understand. they're two people filled with miracles and this time, they got one they wanted most. it's fucking beautiful. it may undermine her struggle with infertility, like so many other shows do, but this show is built on the impossible & the fantastic, the paranormal & miracles & magic & science. imo, it's perfectly in line with everything else. mulder & scully are the light in dark places, and they desperately needed some light themselves at this time. it's so painful once they're back together and they don't have william, but the logistics would have been so much harder with a baby on the run.

and the truth is, i think it was the only way it could really go. i don't think there was another option. scully would never give up her baby, except when she thinks it's the only way to keep him safe & ensure he lives a full life, a normal life, the possibility of a happy life. it's something she never recovers from. it's the only thing, besides losing mulder, that would break her. it takes scully two decades to face it, and not until she's forced to when they find william. scully is so avoidant of her trauma and she can only face it when she has mulder to put her back up against. mulder lived in his trauma for most of his life. by the revival, i think he's finally started to move "past" it. but william is a deep wound for them both. they lost their chance to be parents, to be a family. to experience their version of normal with a child they always wanted. i can't even comprehend the pain & grief & loss & trauma of this. but somehow, i think this made mulder more stable. he had to live with consequences of it, and grief & some guilt, but not the same way scully had to. if there's one thing these two are good at, it's putting the other first when they need it. mulder sets aside his own because scully can't be rational, can't be strong the way she's always been. this is her weakest spot, her mother mentioning william is what made her absolutely lose it when maggie died. it's sooooo painful, literally beyond comprehension (for me) but i've always been a sucker for pain & grief & angst. it's one of the most human experiences and ddga are just. so good at portraying it.

(csm is a LIAR — it's possible he had a hand in it, given en ami. but he did not impregnate scully. i know people go on about the medicine & science, but like. it's sci-fi. the science doesn't need to be real or accurate. like how many medical dramas are out there with inaccurate medicine lolllll anyway, i do think it's a possibility he gave her some kind of medication to reverse the effects of what they did to her before OR the chip finally healed her. the chip caused her to go into remission, and it's a possibility the technology of the chip is what that guy was trying to give scully. the cure to all disease. anyway. that's just my two cents on that.)

#the x files #william arc #txf meta #mine #mulder and scully #dana scully #fox mulder #csm #en ami

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gemini-sensei · 1 year

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Today I am thinking about poly Eli and Demetri who have been working a lot recently. Demetri spends some overtime at his office job working on a project and Eli took on another class at the dojo. They want to make a little extra money to surprise their lovely little wife with a vacation away, so they're hard at work looking to make that happen.

Downside is that they come home later. Demetri is overseeing a whole group of people, so the reports he'd usually review in the morning, he stays in late to go over for that overtime bonus. Eli's new class goes over a few days and then he finds himself cleaning up or fixing things around the dojo, even running errands. Anything for a little more cash for his pretty wife. But sometimes they come home and she's already in bed, fast asleep, their dinner on the stove with a little ily note.

She'll wake up in the morning amd they're leaving, giving her quick kisses on the cheek and lips, telling her they love her to the ends of the earth before walking out the door. They hardly have time to talk, which is a real problem for Reader.

For weeks, she's needed to sit down with them. However, they come in needing a shower and go straight to the bathroom with little hellos to her, or they're drop dead tired and all they want is to go to be so they can get up in the morning and do it all over again. Weekends would be ideal if only Eli didn't teach those days. It's turning into a big mess and she doesn't even understand why.

Finally, she throws a wrench in this routine when they walk in and find a box on the living room table. It's not very big and there's a piece of paper on top. They sit down and Demetri reads the small note aloud:

I know you two have been busy, but so have I. There hasn't been a good time to talk to you and that's okay, I know you work so hard for us to live as well as we do. However, there's been something on my mind that I thought you two should know about.

I'm already asleep, but you van open this without me. I hope you like what I've been working on, it's taken a lot of time and energy so far.

Love, Reader ♡

With that said, Eli tries to open the box, but Demetri stops him.

"We should really wait for Reader," he tells his husband, feeling bad that they haven't been able to spend time with their wife recently. "I mean, this is obviously really important to her."

"The note said we could open it now, so we should just open it nlw," Eli argues. He has the box lid in his hands, ready to rip it off. "Plus, if we don't open it and she asks us tomorrow how we liked her surprise, she'll be upset we didn't open it."

Demetri bites his cheek, then nods. "You have a point there."

"I know I do," Eli smirks, then turns his attention to the box

When he pulls the lid off, they both peer into the box and are shocked by what they see. Inside are two baby onesies laid atop two rolled up baby blankets. On top of that is a string of ultrasound pictures and two pacifiers and two rattles around them.

The lid falls from Eli's fingers as he stared and Demetri takes out the pictures. They look at them closely, silently letting the surprise sink in.

"Oh my god, I can't believe it," Demetri mumbles.

"Well believe it," Eli tells him, picking up one of the onesies and reading the front of it that says MY DADS KICK ASS. He can't help but smile. "Reader wouldn't make this up."

"I mean I can't believe we didn't know," Demetri clarifies.

Eli looks at him, deadpan expression on his face. "I wonder why that might be."

They argue about the logistics of knowing versus not knowing before they turn back to the pictures and stare at them. It's another several minutes before Eli points out how they're labeled A and B, at which point he starts crying because holy ahit it's all sunk in and they're having twins.

Demetri has to hold him and calm him down, but Eli is just so happy and bawling, hugging the onesie to his chest. Dem won't let him go to their room where Reader is sleeping until he stops crying, so once he's calmed down, they get up and go get ready for bed as quietly as humanly possible. Eli carries that fucking onesie with him too.

Then once they're ready, they crawl into bed with Reader. Eli's so soft and needy, Demetri lays with him and holds him while he holds Reader, making Eli the middle spoon. He puts his hand over Reader's belly and for the first time he feels how different it is.

Instead of her normal pudgy fat that he loves to squeeze from time to time, it's more solid and firm. There's a roundness to her belly hidden under his hold sweaters and Deletri's punny t-shirts. He realizes she's hidden this little secret so well so that they could be thoroughly surprised, which is a far better one than they were going to give to her.

He falls asleep with his face buried in her neck, whispering "I love you" over and over again softly. Demetri doesn't fall asleep for a while, just watching over the two loves of his life, pleasantly happy with the idea of calling in one of his vacation days tomorrow so that they can all celebrate their twins and Reader.

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prpfs · 3 months

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Hey! I’m 24 and looking for anyone 21+ interested in some apocalyptic roleplays. I’m a real sucker for hurt / comfort and would love to emphasise on the trauma our characters are carrying around from living in this world. I’ve got a male character in his late 20s who I’d love to use, but also adore playing side characters and will absolutely be playing a range of different people. 🐲

As for plots, i had a few things in mind - though we can change and combine anything as we like. these are more just to get the ball rolling.

The first plot I had in mind was either riiight at the beginning of the apocalypse, watching society crumble into chaos and people dying at alarming rate and everything. Maybe our characters already know each other, or maybe one help the other and it goes from there

A character waking up from some sort of coma in the middle of it all (let's not think about the logistics of this one) and the world as they know it has completely gone and they have to learn how to survive

Complete anarchy - rival groups, people running around completely lawless etc etc, our characters find each other but aren't sure if they can trust one another.

cults??? One character stumbles across a survival group but realises pretty quickly that things are not what they seem and something dodgy is going on. perhaps the other character has grown up there and is sort of brain washed.

man i’m rambling sorry but there’s lots of potential and i can’t wait to come up with something brilliant together. these ideas aren’t set in stone, i just wanted to throw some ideas out there — if you’ve got a specific apocalyptic setting / plot you’d like to try please let me know and we can work on something together! please drop a like and i’ll reach out. thank you ⛺️

Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!

#oc roleplay #oc rp #oc x oc #dead dove #21+ rp

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angelasscribbles · 7 months

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Victim of Love Chapter 14: Yes and Maybe

Series: Victim of Love

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Drake x Riley

Word Count: 1,739

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: none

Song Inspiration for series: Victim of Love by The Eagles

Show me what kind of love have you got? My other stuff: Master List.

Drake looked back and forth between his best friend and the woman he loved in perplexity. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

Liam bit back his anger and emotional devastation as he struggled to remain calm, “Which part have I misunderstood? The part where you came to visit me and then slept with the woman I love or the part where you ran away with her or perhaps the part where you proposed to her in a bid to take her away more permanently?”

Drake shook his head as he moved to Riley’s side, “That last part.”

Liam’s voice rose a little, “How is marrying her and taking her to Texas not permanent?”

Ignoring Liam, Drake took Riley’s hands in his. “Remember when I told you that any man who had the opportunity but not the sense to lock you down properly didn’t deserve you?”

“Yes, but Liam-“

“I’m not talking about Liam. I’m talking about myself! I let you get on that plane without giving me an answer because I didn’t want to pressure you but what the last two weeks have taught me is that I can’t live without you. I know you said you had some things you needed to figure out and I know those things have to do with Liam. Am I right?”

“I…” her eyes flew from Drake to Liam before dropping to the floor, “Yes.”

Liam tried to interrupt, “Drake, I don’t think-“

Drake never pulled his gaze away from Riley as he cut Liam off, “I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to her! Riley…do you remember when I asked you to give this, me and you, a real chance?”

She nodded.

“And you agreed…”

She nodded again.

“Do you remember what else I said that day?”

Her head lifted and her eyes met his, “What?”

“Just before I asked you to give us a chance, I told you that I wasn’t asking you to stop having feelings for Liam or to end your relationship with him. Remember?”

Her brows drew together in confusion, “Yes…but…”

“I asked you to marry me because I want you in my life, and I want to be in yours…forever. But I don’t want to own you or control you. What you do with Liam is still your business.”

Liam sucked in a hopeful breath as he watched Riley’s face, gauging her reaction to Drake’s offer. It was a solution that could resolve a lot of issues for all of them.

Riley’s gaze once again darted between the two men. “Are you saying you’d be okay with me having an affair with-“

“Not an affair,” Drake corrected her, “We’d have an open relationship.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! I know you don’t want to abandon Valtoria. We can split our time between Cordonia and America. We’ll figure out the logistics together-“

Liam had been watching the exchange quietly. Four months ago the idea of sharing her with anybody would have infuriated him. But four months of living without her had been an excruciating experience, one he had no intention of repeating. Not if he could help it.

And besides, he had asked her to share him with Hana. Political marriage or not, he had given another woman everything he had promised her, and he knew he was lucky she hadn’t walked out of his life then and there.

He was through being selfish.

Clearing his throat to get their attention, he took a step closer to the couple and using his most conciliatory tone made an offer he hoped they couldn’t refuse, “Or you could take the job in the King’s Guard I offered you and move back home.”

Drake jerked as surprise hit him square in the chest, “That’s still on the table? I assumed that offer had been rescinded the minute you found out about us.”

Despite the gravity of the situation, Liam laughed, “It was! But I just put it back.”

It wasn’t as unselfish as it seemed. Ever since he’d had to marry another woman, Liam had walked around with a low level of anxiety gnawing at his insides every minute of every day. He was convinced she was eventually going to get sick of the position he’d put her in and leave him. And he wouldn’t blame her if she did.

Giving her Valtoria had been a bribe, she was right about that. Everything he’d done from the moment he’d stood on that stage and called out someone else’s name had been a desperate attempt to hold onto the love he didn’t feel he deserved.

If she married Drake and if Drake joined the King’s Guard, then she’d stay. It was really that simple.

“So, what do you say?” Liam asked.

“I say that it’s all really up to her,” Drake turned back to face the woman that held his heart in her hands, “Riley? Marry me? Please?”

“Say yes,” Liam encouraged.

Riley shook her head, “But do you want to join the King’s Guard? And how would this whole thing work? And what about Hana? How does she-“

“Riley, I was going to say yes to Liam’s offer four months ago. Where we live, how we juggle this whole thing…those are all just details, and we’ll figure them out as we go. I promise.”

“Hana and I have had a lot of time to talk,” Liam told her, “And I mean really talk. She wants you to come home too. She’s hopeful that the two of you can repair your relationship as well.”

Riley looked from one man to the other, her heart beating so fast she was sure it was going to jump right out of her chest. She loved them both, there was no denying that. The only reason she hadn’t said yes to Drake in the first place was the thought of losing Liam. And here they were, telling her she could have both. She thought about everything that had happened since she’d first come to Cordonia and came to a decision.

“Drake, I’ll marry you bu-“

She was cut off as he swept her into his arms with a resounding whoop. He spun her around as he laughed, “I don’t care what the but is, Riley, you’ve just made me the happiest man in the world!”

He set her back on the ground and drew her into a passionate kiss.

Liam cleared his throat again, “I’m still here.”

“Sorry, sorry,” they both murmured as they drew apart, but neither one looked sorry as they grinned sappily at each other, fingers covering lips, and blushes swirling across cheeks.

“What about us, Riley?” Liam’s voice was strained as he interrupted the happy moment.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, Liam,” she told him truthfully, “All of our issues are still there. All of my issues with Hana are still there.”

“All right,” Liam said carefully, “But surely we can work on those. If you’re willing that is.”

“Me?” She stared at him like he’d grown a second head, “You are the one that shuts down any conversation about the future, you are the one that issues demands and decides when we can and can’t be seen together, you are the one that-“

Liam looked like he’d been struck, “Riley! I….I….” with a dejected sigh he sank into the nearest chair, “You are correct, and I am sorry. I have been reluctant to discuss the future because I dread facing any future that is devoid of your presence.”

Drake let an involuntary snort escape him.

Liam’s head snapped up, fire in his eyes, “What?”

“That’s not how you made it sound at lunch the day you pretty much bragged about having your cake and eating it too.”

Liam wanted to be angry, but he knew Drake wasn’t wrong. Anger fought against pain and fear inside of him. Being honest was being vulnerable. A quick glance at Riley convinced him that being vulnerable was worth the risk. He was dangerously close to losing her completely, “It was false bravado I didn't want to admit how much I depend on her, how much I need her, how utterly lost I am without her in my life.”

Drake blew out a long, slow breath, “I know the feeling.” With a wry shake of his head, he asked, “What are the odds that we would both fall for the same woman? And fall hard and fall fast?”

“Pretty high considering that we've both always had the same taste in so many things,” Liam was astonished that he managed to find humor in the situation. But it was true. He and Drake appeared different to the world because of their vastly different stations and the way they interacted with the world. But at their core, they were very similar.

They were both bound by honor and duty, they both strove for perfection, holding themselves to impossible standards. And either one of them would give their life for the other. They had never had a serious disagreement over anything in their lives until they fell in love with the same woman.

It suddenly made perfect sense to him that they would fall for the same qualities in a life partner. Even for the same woman. Perhaps especially for the same woman.

Drake's laugh boomed across the room at Liam’s observation. “I mean we have, but she’s not ice cream.”

Riley’s brow quirked up, “You have the same favorite flavor of ice cream?”

“Yes,” Liam answered, “Vanilla. And we have the same favorite whiskey-“

“Macallan,” Drake interjected.

“We like our steak cooked the same way-“

“Medium rare.”

“The same favorite color-“

“Blue.”

“We have the same favorite polo team, horse breed, soccer-“

“I get the idea!” Riley laughed, “You do have a lot in common. But you’re very different men.”

“We know that.” Drake smirked, “For example, I hate ballroom dancing, he loves it.”

“It’s not my fault your idea of culture is watching two men pummel each other to a bloody pulp.”

“Mixed Martial Arts has the word art right there in the name!"

Riley watched them banter with a soft smile on her lips. She would have expected them to be at each other’s throats all things considered, but they weren’t. Their affection and respect for each other were clearly evident despite the gravity of the situation they found themselves in.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a way forward for all of them.

#trr au #trr fanfic #drake walker #liam rys #trr #the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic #angelasscribbles #choices stories you play #cfwc fics of the week #choices fic writers creations #choices #choices trr #victim of love

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cozymochi · 2 months

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DOES TIA Do any school club stuff? Does she have one she admires, likes? Dislikes?

THANKS I LOVE TIA LORE DUMP EXCUSES!! SHE IS OFFICIALLY in the Newspaper Club 😩, but not out of actual interest. It’s just a means to assist in documenting her school life as she’s supposed to do. It’s her credit, I guess. Honestly, they don’t really get into the logistics too much, so I wouldn’t sweat the details here either. I imagine Crowley just shoved her (and Grim) in there.

Though despite being in that club, Grim says he’s in the “Gourmet Club.” But that’s just self-proclaimed only 😩 that club doesn’t actually exist, it’s just an excuse to eat food after classes are done. (Tho im pretty sure this is actually true, I have no basis for this though, just a hunch, but my hunch hasn’t been wrong yet.) I’m sure his “club” has a lot going for it considering the sole member lives with freaking Tia, an already gifted chef. Besides, they count as one student. If Tia is officially in the Newspaper Club, then so is he via technicality.

Since cooking is an art she’d probably be more drawn to the “arts” clubs. It’s hard to say if she admires any though, given I think she can have a one track mind at times. I don’t think she really gives herself the opportunity to be interested in them beyond surface level. Which kinda sucks, cuz she might be missing out on new things to experience or be invested in. She’s not a sports person either, but nearly all her closer friends are in sports clubs, so she’s often present to see tourneys, games, whatever if they have any. Which btw, this is definitely a shift from how she’d be back in her home world, cuz if her friends there ever invited her to anything or ask her to do something like that she’d’ve just shirked it in favor of focusing on her long term goal (as per her Tiana allusions, cough cough. And now she may never see those friends again :’3). She still kinda tries to shirk going to these things because… habits, y’know. I’m not entirely sure she has any opinion on sports clubs themselves, again, that one track mind can sorta. Y’know.

The only club Tia would actually want to hypothetically be in is a Cooking Club because god forbid she stray from the path she set up for herself. Though, I am not sure if one is confirmed to actually exist at the school. The Master Chef/Culinary Crucible special class DOES though, so I don’t know. I DREW THAT! …If Tia wasn’t so serious sometimes, I don’t think she would be totally opposed to just joining in on the “Gourmet Club” thing. She loves food too.

Total aside, I like to imagine that the Newspaper Club is sparsely populated with a few guys (probably 3) who just don’t even talk to each other lol. They all do different things without exactly collaborating because it’s NRC. No one reads the newspaper anyway!! Internet exists, as everyone points out. Club time for Tia is sitting in a classroom and perusing her ghost camera photos and organizing things. Or just… think. Worst case scenario she and Grim are completely alone in that “club” and it was a dead club that only got resurrected cuz it was convenient for the bird man and happened to line up with Tia’s documenting school life thing. Honestly that feels real. She’d rather be doing anything else though. It’s not like clubs were a school requirement back home unless you wanted to look more rounded on some applications. Clubs weren’t exactly on her radar either, it was saving money to get into her own school of her dreams. So dividing time for a club and hanging with people was mostly off the table.

I think Tia is still trying to figure herself out though. A lot of her identity so far is still solely based around her long term career goal and hardly considers much of anything else if it doesn’t tie into that somehow. The whole “being transported to another world” thing is just an obstacle on the path right now. Omg I wonder if she’ll be forced to go through life changing stuff, learn lessons, and go with the flow on top of being forced to confront any internal demons that up until now she’s been burying from watching other guys completely collapse from doing so, plus… other typical things of the genre!!! 🫣🫣

…it’s an in-joke that I think she low key enjoys the picture taking. The cast is very pretty.

#cozy ask #twstposting #tia dumarais #THATS RIGHT!! THE FROG IS TWISTY WONDERLAND ITSELF.#if ur wondering why i keep saying non defonitive words like ‘i think’ its because #i also wanna just learn about her this goes along #i speculate on my own kiddos like lol

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sapphireluna · 6 months

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Rant incoming.

I'm tired of my job. I have been for many years. The second my shift starts, my good mood leaves and I become depressed or apathic. People always tell me: "Then leave and find another job you will love!" But you don't understand. A job I love does not exist. There is no job I want to do. I simply don't want to work. My time is too precious to give it away. Even if my job was to draw Pokemon all day, I would probably start to hate it because I wouldn't be drawing Pokemon because I want to, I'd be doing it because I have to, you know?

And I can't quit my current job because the salary and the benefits are just too good to lose. It would be a huge wasted opportunity to quit. I have it real good, but I still hate being here. That's why it feels like there's no escape. Even the best of situations is making me unhappy, so what else is there for me? I just want to receive money for doing nothing! I know everyone wants that and there are people who have terrible jobs who would love to have what I have, that's why I feel really guilty complaining. But working is the only thing in my life making me unhappy and moody.

I've always wanted to make Youtube my career, but I kinda gave up on that dream because I'd be working more hours for less pay and no social benefits and no stability. Sometimes when I'm really depressed I buy lottery tickets but of course I never win. It sure would solve all of this if I did though... I just don't want to deal with clients and annoying coworkers and stupid logistics/regulations etc... But I also need money to live so there's nothing I can do except keep going and hope I save enough to retire early.

#I just want to do fun things #I don't want to give half of my waking hours to a company I don't care about

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adamsvanrhijn · 6 months

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Did you expect that Oscar would be the one to lose his shit after the break up like this? And I don't think we've even seen the full extent of how badly he's doing...

i didn't expect that they would be broken up when the season started so logistically it looks Very Different but back in S1 when we thought john would dump him we Were all saying that oscar would do really bad about it.... and now that is canon!

oscar has, contrary to what he was able to openly acknowledge (on screen) about himself in S1, built his entire vision of his life and future around having john and also getting everything else he wants, so it makes sense that now that that is not an option he is completely unmoored and doesn't know how to deal with it... he hadn't considered it a real possibility and as of 1.09 seems thoroughly convinced that any threat to the relationship he could have acknowledged because of the newport situation has been resolved

so of course if he tells john things won't change and john becomes dissatisfied with the way that they have changed while oscar is living in a fantasy land where they have not... john leaving would disrupt everything he has built his hopes and expectations on. he took it for granted he would continue to have john, and then he doesn't have john, and he doesn't have the mental or emotional skills to deal with that

i also like how 2.01 makes my own personal suspicion that they Do actually know how to communicate honestly with one another and just Do Not Do This while clinging to one another for dear life in a relationship much more evident

& all of that said... reviews have said that oscar is in love with john and made that very clear, and i don't think the 2.01 scene is enough for that to get across to the average audience member, so i am looking forward to what else we will see about where they are at and how badly oscar is coping about it — especially knowing he will be rejected by gladys via george in the next episode and that's going to throw yet another wrench in his plans.

#the gilded age spoilers #oscar van rhijn tag #johnoscar tag

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unohanadaydreams · 1 year

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Literally just thinking about how horrible the ticket system is for souls just arriving to the Seireitei. Like, assuming you are being handed an assigned district. Because I don’t remember!!!

Imagine you land in the after life, you’re processed and they make sure you didn’t die with belongings too ‘unsuitable’ for the rukongai. They hand you a ticket, point to a direction, give you a map that reads more like a skeleton of one. And that’s it.

What if you’re assigned a shit district? You’re supposed to walk all the way there, seeing everything get progressively worse. And you’re just not supposed to stop or turn back? I can imagine a lot of souls are getting in trouble for being in districts they weren’t assigned to if that’s how it works. If they can even keep track of that shit. The forced bureaucracy that is at work here is monumental. Think of the paper work. Think of the logistical nightmare of storing all of this information. Think of the absolute failure this system must be if anyone were to put it under a microscope.

Not just that, but is that ticket literally the only way someone can know what district you supposedly belong to? Are there penalties for trashing your ticket? For being in possession of a fake ticket? For stealing and forcibly swapping someone else’s ticket?

How are they keeping track of which ticket belongs to who. Is Kurotsuchi microchipping souls like they’re dogs. Or are they still in love with their paperwork at this stage and if someone’s district is in question, they go into holding while a shinigami gets in touch with New Arrivals HQ for their originally assigned ticket number & division? And how common it must be for that information to just be fucking missing!!! Misplaced or misfiled or someone made a mistake in the paperwork or they purged files from that far back so they just don’t know anymore.

Like, I can’t imagine they’re keeping that information for as long as some souls are staying alive. I’m sure the assumption is if you’re living past the paperwork, you’re either in a good district or you’re becoming a shinigami.

ALSO, where are the souls ending up. Are they being processed in the Seireitei? In the mid points of the rukongais? (That one makes more sense to me. The 40th district in each direction being a landing point for souls so the ones going to the shitty districts don’t see the extent of how bad they have it & turn back and the ones going toward Seireitei feel appropriately thankful)

Although, if they’re being processed in the mid-points, I wonder if different divisions are in charge of each 40th district or if one division is in charge of all new arrival stations? Of course, you think the 1st but they also seem to be in charge of muken, the Gotei 13 as a whole really (yearly audits of each division must be insane.) so maybe it’s another division?

It just seems like a lottery system to its core. The lucky few getting the sparse spaces freed up in the good districts while the majority are pointed to their almost certain death in the next few years if not months.

This ALSO makes me wonder—how do people travel toward the Seireitei/the academy and not get stopped or turned back? Is their intent to be a shinigami enough? Is it up to the shinigami who asks them where their ticket is? How long does it even matter what their ticket is? Do they just have to like go to their assigned district and then what they do from their is their business?

Or if the ticket is so bare bones that it’s only a cardinal direction…….I can’t even imagine that chaos.

It’s like Aizen with the Central 46 (and really the Central 46 in general). People assume it’s working how it should because there is no real accountability or recourse when it isn’t. So no one knows when things have gone awry until they REALLY go fucking awry.

I see why people love the idea of a soul society train so much because it would make the ticket system make a LOT more sense.

#this is LITERALLY just me rambling #I was trying to figure out something for an oc and had to get into the logistics of ARRIVING in the Soul Society #the train should’ve stayed canon lmao

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chesacakeripper · 1 year

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vent post incoming because I am not sure if I'm having a proportional reaction to this or not and throwing it out into the void might help...

So. For context.

My mum's side of the family is very Organised. Particularly my aunt, who is queen of the Itinerary, but this also comes from primarily my grandad (in his 80s but pretty fucking healthy & ex-navy). I love them to bits, they're the Most Sane extended family I have (father's side has all sorts of weird interfamilial politics going on (which I shan't get into but jfc) and my stepdad's family is very nice but also Very Religious.

Bearing this in mind, they have this tradition of these big family holidays around special occasions - these have been the only family holidays I've ever been on barring boating with just my father and grandma when I was a kid - and they are always like. A big affair. Domestic, not abroad, but it's always Rent A Big House in an Area for a Time and then have extremely itinerised activities and have lots of Family Fun (usually whilst me and my mum quietly seethe about it because my aunt has Money and we have historically been very poor, so it's always been more of a burden for us but we just have to suck it up and deal.)

Anyway, this was Tolerable when I was a kid or a teenager and, ya know, in school and living at home.

I am now a 26 year old adult with a Real Job that has a fucked up rota of unsociable hours, that I often don't get until weeks before I'm due to start shifts, and runs year-to-year on the academic year calendar August to August. I also live several hundred miles away from my family.

Last year, there was a Big Family Holiday planned months in advance that I told them from the outset I was unlikely to be able to attend, because the date of it fell on my rotational week from one speciality to another, on a completely different site, and I would either not be able to take leave during that week due to mandatory induction or simply not *want* to due to learning how a new job works. So I didn't go.

My grandad evidently missed me being there (and is feeling his age a bit) so wanted to do another Big Family Holiday this year. Which I was asked about via a message from my mum. Initial planned date was september time 2023 which I said, yo that's way too far ahead for me to even know if I'll have a training post or even know where in the damn country I'll be working - this year I'm taking a year out of training to work ad-hoc shifts and have a break from the Relentlessness of Covid Pandemic Medicine, so like, before August would be good! Because I'm choosing my own hours!

Okay, mum said, are there any dates that are a solid no for you right now?

Ah, I said. Not during the week of Glastonbury Festival. Because we're trying to get tickets this year as it might be my only chance to definitely go and it's my partner's favourite place in the whole world.

This was. All the input I had. In the planning of this family holiday.

I received confirmation a bit later (this was in september 2022) to say that IT'S BEEN BOOKED! Family Holiday is GO!

For EIGHT ENTIRE DAYS in early July, like literally five days after Glasto is done.

Okay, I say, pissed off that I didn't get any input in how fucking long this holiday was, or, crucially, where it was. I got sent a link to a holiday house that I had a skim through but didn't think more about it other than, fuck me, a bit rude not to include me in literally any other part of the planning.

Skip ahead to now - May 2023 - I have secured a training post in a nearby city starting in August, which is excellent news, but still means I have to move house.

So I sit down with my partner as we try and run logistics on getting packing materials and looking at leadtimes on renting, and looking at quotes on storage units and the like.

I get my calendar up and check dates and when things are going to be best planned.

And I realise I have this fucking 8 day chunk of July blacked out for this family holiday that I absolutely have to attend this year because my grandparents are getting old and it might be The Last Big Family Gathering before something happens to their health, right. And I missed the one last year, so I gotta be at this one, otherwise shame on me.

This 8 day chunk of July that's right smack bang in between Glasto and When We Need to Be Moving House.

And then I double check where the fuck in the country this holiday is supposed to be, again.

*Dartmouth*. It's in. Fucking Dartmouth. Which if you are unaware of the British Isles Geography is right in the southwest corner of the fucking country. And is approximately a 5.5 hour no stops drive away from where I live.

Readers, if you've gotten this far I need to tell you something. I don't yet have a driving licence. I'm in the process of doing lessons and have my test booked for the 20th June. Which is the day before we leave for glasto, right. So even if I pass my test first time (I might not, pass-rates are about 50% here), the only chance I will have to practice driving on motorways etc will be on the 4.5 hour drive to glasto, and then possibly on the way back.

Partner can and does drive, right, but probably can't come to Big Family Holiday because he'll either still be in work that week OR will be sorting the moving house stuff out in my absence.

So if I pass my driving test, I might have to do a 5.5hour solo drive cross country completely alone on big fucking motorways less than two weeks after passing my test. Not fucking ideal.

Alternatively, I could take the train. which costs (with a railcard) nearly £120 for a return and takes approximately EIGHT HOURS each way.

Other options would be to travel even earlier (still also via train, as it's also a 5 hour drive to where they live) to my parents and accompany them on the 4.5 hour drive from where they live to Holiday Destination, because my family decided to choose a place to go on holiday that is pretty much an equal distance from both of our locations but NOT IN A HELPFUL WAY. We'll still all have to travel the same fucking amount to the far corner of the damn cross country triangle between us.

Third option is to beg my friend who lives near glastonbury to let me stay with her or in her parent's house for the inbetween five days and then travel the 2 hours to Holiday Destination from there, but this isn't ideal because 1) I'd need to pack clothes for three weeks, 2) we only have one vehicle so how would partner get home, and 3) due to moving house I do actually need to be back at home in that inbetween time.

Anyway. I'm pissed off. Because I'm an adult with a job and none of the planning for this family holiday other than *avoid this one specific week* was done with any kind of consideration toward me. It feels like I'm still being treated as a child that can just Drop Everything and Attend an event I'm not even particularly thrilled to be going on (for eight entire fucking days) and if I don't or can't go I'm in the wrong.

/scream

#my life and stuff #personal shit #rantttt

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razrrgames · 8 months

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tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of when i first released after the bell.

a lot has happened in the past 7 years.

i have/had an entire update planned, i wanted to rebuild the game from the ground up, especially since porting it to the steam version of 2003 fucked up the fade transitions.

but i never did.

i’ve tried starting many times, and failed every time.

i don’t think i’ve talked about it here, but im very open about this: i have ADHD and autism. the ADHD is what applies the most here.

the ADHD prevents me from doing what i want, and the RSD makes me overcomplicate things.

back when i made ATB, i was in a hyper focus state on RPGMaker. i had four ongoing projects at once: after i finished the first version of ATB, i was drafting the update, file:blue was added during a horror game jam, riitami, and one other project i literally cannot even remember the name of off the top of my head. i focused hard on these projects, mainly riitami, and then the novelty wore off. this is one of the worst parts of my ADHD. i get really into doing something for a short burst and then i get bored and can’t force myself to do it anymore.

i felt horrible for so long. why can’t i just DO things like everyone else? i need to remake ATB, i need to fix it, i need to take out the stair scene because it was in poor taste, i need to expand on the lore so i stop seeing people asking why ghosts can’t just go through the wall, i need to expand on these characters, etc etc etc. and i just couldn’t do it. i forced myself to come up with a logistical reason for not passing through walls, i rewrote and scrapped and rewrote and scrapped over and over again.

don’t get me wrong. i still do want to update after the bell. i want to remake it. i want to make it better. better maps, better art, better jokes, better characters, etc. but i can’t give you an estimate on when that will happen.

as for the lore of the game,,, i don’t want to put any more thought into it.

i didn’t go into that project with a real plot or world in mind. i just drew a little ghost girl and decided i wanted to make a game about her. then i made her a girlfriend and some classmates. i thought of a very simple fetch quest: getting her name. that’s all it was. nothing more, nothing less.

that said, i have new answers to things.

why can’t she go through walls?

who cares? i’m not gonna make transition events on every wall tile just to satisfy some people who can’t put their suspension of disbelief on hold for a silly ten minute game.

why are all these girls dead?

i don’t know. i just thought one character would be too lonely, so i added some more. i thought more ghosts would be better than filling the space with living characters and then dealing with whatever allows them to communicate.

and there was one person that once said in a comment that it was weird that protag’s parents had the same last name. that has always been a strange thought to me. they’re married? one took the other’s last name?

i don’t really know what i’m rambling about at this point.

in the past seven years (in no particular order), i have moved out, got my drivers license, lost my job, got another job, was ghosted out of that job, gotten a new job that destroyed my soul, fell into a deep depression at the start of the lockdown, went back to the soul crushing job once it resumed, fell out with my roommate, moved back in with my parents, quit my old job and got another job that i now love, adopted a hamster, had her until she passed away earlier this year from health complications, made friends, lost friends, started and ended therapy, got a psychiatrist, got on anxiety medication, started (trying) ADHD meds, started dating my girlfriend, saw her in person twice, was briefly hospitalized to get my first surgery (gall bladder removal), had ANOTHER surgery (septoplasty + removing polyps), went to new york to meet old friends twice, went thru multiple medications trying to find something to help me sleep at night, came out to my mother as a lesbian (she still does not know my gender identity), met some of the people who would become some of the most important people in my life, cried over dnd (positive), started writing stories again, tabled at a lot of conventions…

it’s been a long and wild road. and in those seven years, i have thought about the ATB cast. i know the game got a little traction when it was first released, and i’m a little shocked that it seems to get a lot more attention in spanish speaking communities! that’s a lil crazy to me! not in a bad way of course. i think that’s really cool. sharing our creations and experiences across different language communities is one of the coolest things in the world.

i’ve seen praise and criticism that have helped me think about my work as an artist, and some that have hindered me a bit. nevertheless, i’ve grown a lot since then. at least i hope so.

im rambling about a lot of things. sorry. my train of thought is more like a spaghetti junction, lol

at the end of the day, these silly little ghost girls were my first real journey into RPGmaker. i’d loved playing games for a long time and had made one shoddy little thing before, but ATB was my first real release. i’ve thought about these girls a lot. i don’t think too hard about their world, the lore doesn’t really matter to me; it was just a silly little game i made with no real forethought.

one day i will deliver that remake to you. i don’t know when. i love these characters, simple as they are, and i want to do right by them. im even thinking of asking for help, as i clearly have a lot of trouble moving forward; help with setting up maps and transitions is the most important thing, as i’m not very good at layouts or mapping, but i can handle all the artwork and writing dialogue myself. i also want to commission someone for custom music, as the original music used in the game was generated via online programs because i am also, shockingly (/sarcasm), terrible at music composition. or more like i have no experience with it. i’m tone deaf as all hell.

that is not financially viable for me right now, unfortunately (i owe my parents like $800 for insurance + some assistance from when bebbie passed away) and i do not want to just. not pay people for their work. as an artist i understand the value of the work that goes into these things, and i’m not about to run around asking for free help with a silly little ghost game. i want to be able to pay my help appropriately for their time and effort. that said, if you’d be interested in helping out when that time comes (paid of course, i can’t tell you when that’ll be bc as much as i love my job i don’t make a lot of money) please let me know.

i should bring this rambling to a close.

thank you for seven years of silly ghost girls. it’s been a long time, but i hope that these girls pop into your thoughts from time to time to say hello, as they do for me. i want to do them better, even if they are just a couple of silly middle school lesbian ghosts.

thank you for your patience and support. i’m sorry i haven’t lived up to be the person or developer that i wanted to be. i’m sorry i failed to bring you something to play so many times and for so long. i hope you can forgive me.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

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bisluthq · 6 months

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The whole email breakup thing always sounded ridiculous to me but since it allegedly came from a friend of Pat's, I gave it the benefit of the doubt. But yeah no that's insane, no normal person would end a 6.5 rs/engagement over email. Imo she'd planned months before for the music video to be filmed in the UK so as to be able to spend Easter break with Joe, bc both of them knew that Joe would be working until May and according to what Tree put out at the time, he'd be joining Taylor on tour after that. So I do think the MV was shot in the UK as part of an original plan to spend Easter together there. But imo from the moment she stood on that stage in Glendale on opening night and saw tens of thousands of ppl all but worshipping her, and Joe could not even be arsed to at least care about this massive career milestone, she came to the painful realization that it was time to go, and she planned to do it in person when they would see each other in the UK for Easter. So during those first weeks of tour I imagine that (aside from being extremely happy and excited for tour) she pondered how to go about it and the logistics etc yk, mentally preparing herself for it, probably going back and forth on doing it or not. Clearly she ultimately decided it had to happen this time for real, they'd been unhappy for months and I do think Joe taking another last minute job and not giving a single fuck about Eras was a final straw. So she knew it was Over over during those first weeks of tour and imo that's why she was crying during CP in Glendale N2. Anon mentioned that maybe she was apprehensive about doing it in person bc they could end up fucking and she needed to end it for real, but I don't think that was even an issue for her bc imo late stage Swiftwyn sex was like those scenes in Blue Valentine where the couple clearly has fallen out of love but they still try to have sex to get off and let out frustration but neither of them are really into it and lowkey hate it and yeah idk it's devastating to watch lol it's so fucking sad. At that point imo Swiftwyn were very unhappy and in a "you do you and I'll do me" MO so it tracks that Joe didn't see it coming right, cos they'd sorta gotten familiar/used to the unhappinness. Imo if she hadn't broken it off and instead insisted on getting married, he would've done it and they would've continued to leave unhappily and/or gotten divorced eventually, so Joe must've defs been relieved that she ended it. If they'd had kids before shit started to go down at the end of 2021, I do think they would've married for the bebé and would've probs gotten divorced once the bebé/bebés became adults a la Scott and Andrea.

I 1000% agree that she was involved emotionally with Matty since at least January of this year. Idk if I think it got to the point of actual physical cheating yk I tend to think that maybe not since her and Joe respected each other so much but she does historically cheat when she's desperate to get out of a rs so who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ she was miserable and Matty was there all head over heels for her and ofc the attention was appealing after she'd felt so rejected/unnapreciated by her partner for months. I am SO so curious about that 1975 collab song that was scrapped from Midnights 👀👀 I wonder if it's telling of how far back (second half of 2022 maybe) the affair with Matty goes, and if she left it out of the album bc she was still trying to save her rs with Joe. I really do think that, in spite of everything, Taylor fought VERY hard to fix their issues and solve their problems, like I really do think she gave it her all trying to save it but ultimately it became clear that it was unsalvageable. When they first became a couple they both thought their lives would be going in completely different directions (she thought her peak as a pop star was gone and she would move to more BTS stuff and live a calmer life in North London with him, he thought his acting career would take off after The Favourite and CWF and he'd become some Nic Hoult/Paul Mescal etc.) than where they both are today, and so they became very incompatible to the point where all the love they had for each other wasn't enough to keep them in love together.

I love u but this is a fucking dissertation dude I’m not gonna read all this but I’m sure ur right because your takes are always on point so I’m posting for people with a longer attention span than me and I’m gonna text just now to check you’re ok lmao because dissertations about Joever are usually a sign one isn’t 😂🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

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brookheimer · 1 year

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HI! I just finished a rewatch of Veep, and im curious what you thought about how they ended it? selina becoming potus and being completely alone & Gary scapegoating etc. Also wondering if the writers changed mid way through? upon my 2nd watch i noticed it get quite fan-servicey and honestly like stupid, in the place of being sooo clever and original in the beginning (not abt succession IM SORRY)

omg are you KIDDING ME do not be sorry!!! i know this blog is on succession lockdown rn but typically it is truly jack of all trades and i am always always down to talk about veep. soooooo many thoughts fr you have come to the right fucking place

(under the cut cuz i don't wanna take up the entire dash w my veep ramblings lmao)

you are so right on all counts!!! great catch on the writers -- the wonderful creator/showrunner armando iannucci had to leave veep after season 4 because constantly flying back and forth between london (his home) and baltimore (where they shot) just wasn't logistically feasible anymore. thus, iannucci was replaced by a new showrunner -- david mandel, my arch enemy, who i would murder in cold blood if i could -- starting with season 5.

season 5 is, in my opinion, still a pretty great season; the first half or so is definitely up there with s1-4 to me! but the more comfortable mandel became holding the reins, the more he 'made it his own' and strayed from iannucci's formula and characterizations (which were originally pretty consistent in the transition period of early s5), the worse the show got, until finally we find ourselves with the absolute abomination that is season 7. so, if you haven't guessed, i am... not fond of the final two seasons, especially season 7. while it's not like GoT-level show-ruining, it's pretty damn bad, so long as you were invested in the characters. obviously the humor becomes waaaay more shock-value and cliche, everything gets very over-the-top and almost becomes a parody of itself, etc, but even then for a lot of people it's still funny and worth watching. unfortunately it is not my cup of tea for two reasons:

1) i loooove the iannucci style humor and the further the plotlines/characterizations/etc got from reality, the less the satire worked for me. i just don't think mandel handled trump administration era very well and it just... wasn't very funny, especially not compared to the other seasons. i talk about this some in this response to an ask from a while ago, if you wanna see me be very civil about it, lmao.

2) i love amy brookheimer. this is the main reason, honestly, because holy mother of fuck i have never seen a character so systematically ruined and torn down, especially not in a plotline the showrunner calls 'empowering.' i've written about this a lot already, actually, if you want to take a gander -- i'm so insane about this exact thing that i have literally written an entire essay on it that was published in a film/tv journal so if you want an amy character analysis/amy-centered denunciation of s7 that is unfortunately and inexplicably formatted in weirdly skinny columns (they did the formatting/photos, not me, lmao), there ya go. if u want more reading here's another late season criticism post about amy (and one about dan to boot) from other accounts that i've reblogged and shit.

what i liked about veep was how it balanced reality and satire, humanity and cynicism. but the later seasons dove into the cynical, satirical deep end and ended up no more meaningful than, like, just a bunch of 30 minute long SNL skits mocking trump. what made it interesting and good was the fact that it felt so real, and the humor came from the absurdity of knowing all of this could actually happen, and the fact that somehow we ended up rooting for these characters that are so blatantly despicable. but we did root for them -- if not to be president, to at least have lives that we'd follow and be invested in, to continue to have relationships with one another. the relationships were at the core of the show -- gary and selina, selina and amy, amy and dan, etc etc etc -- and while the satire and humor were what drew you in, the dynamics between the characters were what made you keep watching, and also what made the satire and humor all that much more poignant and funny! but. then came david mandel. and the rest, as they say, is history.

i really wonder how iannucci would've ended the show. i think very differently, lol. i don't think it would've become a blatant morality tale of Evil Person Does Evil Things To Succeed = Pyrrhic Empty Victory. i don't think selina would've been potus or that gary would've ended up in JAIL (which like looking at it objectively is crazy from the veep plotlines of early seasons which were, like, about which ice cream flavors to choose -- i miss the mundanity of it all!!!), i don't think jonah would've become trump on steroids or amy a miserable kerryanne conway or dan a sexaholic sleazeball. i don't know where it would've ended up, but god, anywhere but where it did, seriously. every time i watch an early episode it just feels soooo incredibly different from where the show ended up in literally every sense and it's just so sad!!! ugh. veep 1-4 and half of 5 i miss u armando iannucci please come back

#thank u for the veep question i loooove talking about veep #and also anything and everything ever i just love talking. but yea completely agree w all ur takes fr #also fun fact pretty sure the iannucci team had a lot of succession writers -- idk why british people are so uniquely good at skewering #american life/politics/culture/etc but between succession and veep they certainly fucking are esp compared to americans a la david mandel #agh #veep #asks #anon #amy brookheimer #tee hee <3 #long post

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semi-imaginary-place · 11 months

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ffxiv 4.0 hitting the steppe

the writers were having a field day coming up with all the different xaela tribes.

hmmm

like a mama duck and two baby ducks

Magnai's speech patterns are stranger in english than in japanese. he's just normal in japanese

haurchefant would have loved it here...

I don't think the devs thought through this whole horse Yol thing. What I think happened was that they wanted the aesthetics of central asian horse based nomadic people but they also wanted a cool flying mount and like the logistics of actual people living with both wasn't thought out.

what language is everyone speaking??? I'd assume its the xaela auri language expect you expect me to believe gosetsu, yugiri, and lyse who are all people who have never been to the steppe or had extensive contact with the xaela, understand what is being said. but the other option is equally ridiculous, the xaela are stated to be fairly isolated like foreign trade in reunion is still a new and rare thing, why the hell would they all know and speak hingan.

if the echo has an auto translate function does that mean the party doesn't understand what the wol is saying 90% of the time?

Hien complains of Magnai's arrogance but he's just as arrogant to think he deserves anything here.

wow Hien is condescending af what an asshole. i want to lock hien and magnai in a room together maybe they can tear down each other's overinflated egos.

i wonder if everyone is going to get a heart to heart, yugiri and now gostesu, npcs lining up. i was wondering how the game was or if they were at all going to deal with the parallels between ala mhigo and doma so the lyse hien convo was very important but oof hien needed what gosetsu got in his heart to heart, hien as a character is really suffering for being bereft of that.

still weird magnai is the only one not wearing yellow.

bruh player character was the one that one, hien why the hell are you giving orders you have no authority.

sui-no-sato myth speaks of a great disaster that drove the raen into the sea and as nomads the xaela don't seem big of giant stone constructions. so where did all the ruins and dawn throne come from? my pet headcanon is that there was a proto auri civilization that collapsed due to some disaster and the survivors left. the raen left the steppe entirely fleeing to the coast while the xaela left the immediate area but became nomadic. the sightseeing log also confirms that the xaela were once one tribe.

I can see why people have a problem with hien. he comes off as incredibly arrogant and condescending towards xaela culture. gosetsu just got here and he had a mini arc learning to be open of cultural differences, hien has been here much longer and yet he is still far behind gosetsu's development. Yeah sure xaela society is really violent and at times unjust but for the japanese king to come barging in about how savage the culture is, is a bad look. I'll give the devs the benefit of the doubt but just like how having all the plot important scion ala mhigans be blond haired, blue eyes, light skinned, and use midlander models while the rest of the ala mhigans are mostly dark haired, have medium skin colors, and have highlander models, the japanese prince coming in and talking about how these violent foreign asian savages need to be brought to heel is a bad look, it has unintentional parallels to real life acts of oppression and human rights violations that continue in the present day. at least the japanese invasions never got all that far into central asia. Who is hien to decide what the xaela do.

On that note, to have the more east asian fusion yanxia be dominated by hingan names and culture is another bad idea. as noted in the namazu quests most of the customs in the area are not yanxian, but hingan specifically. And while yanxia is more a fusion of east asian cultures similarly to but to a lesser extent to how eorzea is a fusion of various european cultures, hingashi is specifically japanese. This sadly calls to mind the japanese invasion and occupation throughout east and southeast asia where japanese language and cultural aspects became mandatory under occupation.

the way ffxiv handles all this isn't terrible like i wouldn't say its overtly fascist and I've certainly seen worse, but its not good either it has unfortunate implications and could have been done better.

#ffxiv #ffxiv 4.0

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kalinara · 2 years

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I tend to go back and forth about my view of the Jedi Order, I have to admit. There are certainly times when I’ve had harsher views of their practices than others (I’ve mellowed a bit since some of those original posts).

In general, I absolutely agree that the Jedi Order didn’t deserve their fate. And in general, I absolutely agree that the Jedi Order gets a lot of blame for things that they couldn’t possibly have predicted, and can’t logistically do much about.

For example, it’s all well and good to say that the Jedi should stop slavery, but how exactly is that supposed to happen? The slaveholding planets aren’t part of the Republic and the Jedi, while they have powers, aren’t meant to be an invading military force. Nor do they have the numbers or resources to institute that kind of galactic change.

And I absolutely agree that Anakin Skywalker made his own choices. We’ve seen multiple examples of people leaving the Order. And the Jedi have every right to impose restrictions on marriage/family, being as they are a religious order. Not everyone is set out for the priesthood.

That said, I do occasionally stumble across this idea from some pro-Jedi fans that we can’t or shouldn’t criticize the Jedi Order at ALL. I saw a post recently that compared suggesting that the Jedi Order might, or even should, change one or more of their practices to antisemitism and I think that’s a bit much.

Yes, George Lucas used a lot of real world allegories when he made the films, but it’s still fiction. And besides, we know for a fact that Luke’s Jedi Order IS different from what came before.

In the EU, the Jedi can get married. They can have kids. And sure, you can explain that away by saying that a lot of this was established before the prequels gave us a look at what the Jedi Order was actually like. But Lucasfilms still signed off on the content of the books. The EU timeline and continuity is pretty tight for a multi-author/multi-era universe. There was a lot of oversight. It seems pretty clear that they wanted Luke’s romantic life to be a feature of the novels.

The new continuity is vaguer about that. At least so far as I’ve read. We do know of at least one book where Luke had a romantic interest (Heir to the Jedi), but I haven’t been keeping up. Luke does seem to be living a single, monastic life as of the Last Jedi. But there’s still a lot we don’t know. And to be fair, there’s a fairly long period of time involved. Luke’s practices could have changed over the years.

For example, both Luke and Ahsoka appear to believe that Din Djarin and Grogu should be separate, and that Grogu has to choose between being a Jedi and being a Mandalorian. And that’s valid, I suppose. Luke’s got every right to re-institute what practices he sees fit. (Though I do think there’s some incongruity with the idea that the man who saved the universe through his love for his father would then try to separate another loving father and son match.)

But we also know, from both the movies and particularly the expanded material, that this practice won’t continue. Ben Solo had regular contact with his family, up to and including the period of time right before his fall. (see: Bloodlines). We know that Kylo was born not too long after Return of the Jedi. He’d probably be about four now. That gives us a window of time for the change to happen.

Now, we know what happened to Kylo. So that could be an argument against Luke’s change in practice, but I don’t think anyone can realistically blame his fall on the fact that he calls home every so often.

Some of the changes in the Order’s practices may simply be a matter of logistics. There’s no creche. Luke doesn’t have the manpower to raise an Order from infancy. And he can’t really be choosy among the adults who may have survived with relevant knowledge. If Kanan had lived, for example, to share his own knowledge, it’s hard to imagine Luke turning him away because of his relationship with Hera.

But also, it’s very possible that Luke has different ideas of what should be a priority for the Jedi going forward. His experience is different. His universe is different. And it’s interesting to think about how the Luke we meet in A New Hope might well have been rejected from the old order. (Though it’s also possible that they’d have made an exception - he’s even older than Anakin, but far more temperamentally suited.)

I suppose I just feel like there’s room for nuance in this conversation. We don’t have to pretend that the old order was completely without flaw, and we don’t have to agree with every aspect of their practice, in order to be a Jedi fan in general.

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