#i know i'm rather mature. i love myself. genuinely at the end of the day i will always choose kindness and love | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mariaiscrafting · 3 years

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ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues. My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way. Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand. Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

#ive been writing this on and off since 830 am est SHEESH #dreamwastaken #dream critical #eh i think im relatively lenient of him here given my past posts ab him #but still just in case the blacklist tags for yalls convenience:#discourse #/neg #asks #long post #long posts #this a LONG one bois #morango

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miyuwuki · 2 years

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Also I'd like to participate in the matchup event (daiya) if that's alright! I'll try my best to provide you with enough info, it's my first time interacting with someone here 😅

mbti : intj 5w4

likes : hobbies include exploring/understanding anything that peaks my interest, whether it be analysing the shit out of an anime or an anime character, nosleep stories, open ended debates, a good manga, I also like to get to know about other people's hobbies listening to their take on anything and everything

dislikes : sweets... and people who don't try to "see the other side of the coin" Or are too controlling, strongly opinionated about anything in particular and aren't willing to change for, ignorance in general and liars.

what I look for in a guy :

stability comes first, it takes painfully long for me to trust someone because i prefer those who are more likely to stay rather than casual acquaintances. I'm a being of few words and I expect respect and someone who doesn't restrain me. Won't drift away even when I'm rather out of touch for a while. Optimistic, mature, energetic, straight forward, simple hearted people are really attractive to me. My love language is quality time and I don't like when people act like they know me, I like when they observe, or are thoughtful, kind, considering and someone who is patient and tries, genuinely, to get to know the person I am (not prying tho🤔) I tend to be harshly honest mostly. People who understand space and I can freely voice myself and doesn't have to live in a constant fear as if expecting them to leave are definitely a win for me, and I'll try my hardest to love and appreciate them anyhow I can!

(I hope it's alright and congratulations again! 🥳)

a/n: hello! enjoy! @neraiiuchii !

DIAMOND NO ACE

miyuki kazuya

first daiya boy is miyuki! miyuki also kind of thinks like an analyst, so i thought it would be so cute╴like you guys would have deep conversations, literally about anything. you get him into nonsleep stories and that is his newfound obsession! :D always asking you for recommendations and is honestly not too scared about it. after every game, he watches and analyzes the scorebook and gameplay with you; he really values your input on them and even encourages you to be a manager; but not like cooking for the team and things, like analyzing the games and coming up with strategies to make them even better. ah, that is so cute! you guys bond over how you both dislike sweets, and it makes it easier for him to cook foods you like because of your similar tastes. miyuki has grown up in a way where he does not express his feelings well, but he isn’t closed minded╴he will listen to you and give you the space he needs because in fairness, he needs that as well. in addition, this makes hime extremely observant and patient with you <3 your trope with him is definitely best friends to lovers╴i mean miyuki wouldn’t just choose anyone, right? he knows you like the back of his hand, of course he’ll choose you hehe. miyuki loves spending time with you on his off days, and these dates consist of you both at home or at his dorm, him cooking, then taking a little stroll talking about anything and everything in depth. he loves the little things you do that show that you love him, it’s just a gentle reminder that you’re by his side and he doesn’t have to go through anything alone.

takigawa chris yuu

and ur second boy! chris! chris is a bit more on the optimistic side of the spectrum, and it comes along with kindness and pure, sweet love :> he loves hearing you talk about your interests because he feels like he learns so much from you. he constantly asks you questions to get you to explain it further, and sometimes he’ll do his own research so next time, he can converse back. he really admires you for your analytical skills. chris is anything bu controlling or close-minded, he is literally a good soul and we all need a chris. he’ll offer his own opinion but will ultimately reach a common ground because he knows everyone has different opinions╴he just wants to reach an understanding. again, i feel like this is a friends to lovers trope, but he was in love with you all this time. he knows how much you value getting to know someone, and he really respects that. but he couldn’t help but not fall for the way you articulated your thoughts into words, or how you smile when you’re listening to your friends talk. with that, he is extremely patient with you. chris is very observant about your feelings, so don’t bother hiding anything from him. although, he won’t sugar coat anything, and you’ll get hard, honest truth. like miyuki, he loves the little things you do for him╴it gives him so much happiness.

*＊✿❀reblogs and likes are appreciated❀✿＊*

#diamond no ace matchups

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missmentelle · 3 years

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Hi MM/Bee! I'm a recent college graduate. I always worked hard in school and I matured a lot at college, but I'm realizing how low my self-esteem is. I'm obsessing over the things I haven't done/accomplished, scholarships I never applied for, my body image, my high school days, "not being as successful as my high school class", an old crush who I never talked to (who is already super successful), and some days I feel like I messed up my life beyond repair. How do I work on self-love? Thank you!

For starters, I think it’s important for you to know that you aren’t the only person feeling this way. I get similar questions all the time, often from people who aren’t even out of their 20s yet. It isn’t even remotely true that you need to achieve wild success by age 25 or you’ve wasted your life, but I can understand why so many people feel that way.

Our culture is dangerously obsessed with productivity, youth and achievement, to the point that it is actively making all of our lives miserable. It’s not hard to understand where people get this idea that they’re failing in life if they aren’t a 20-something well-travelled millionaire - that is the message our culture throws in our faces all the time - and it’s so unbelievably untrue. We compile “top 30 under 30″ lists, celebrate incredibly young performers and entertainers, and hold up extremely high-achieving lifestyles as something that every one of us needs to be striving for, but we don’t - there is no timeline for “success”, there is no one true definition of success, and people will take wildly different paths in life to arrive at the same set of goals. What you think of as your failure is not actually your failure - it’s a cultural failure that so many of us fall victim to.

I think it’s also important to remember that you haven’t messed up your life beyond repair: you’ve barely started your life yet. Your college years are supposed to be a time of growing and maturing, and that maturation doesn’t end the moment you cross the stage - you’re going to continue to learn and change and grow throughout your lifespan. And growth means you are always going to mess some stuff up - that’s how we grow. All of us have to make mistakes in this life, and all of us have to prioritize rest sometimes; there are always going to be tests we don’t do so great on, social situations we flub, scholarships we don’t apply for, crushes we don’t confess to, deadlines we miss, relationships we let fall apart and goals we don’t achieve. Nobody speedruns life with 100% completion. And that’s okay. Those missteps and mistakes are what teach us to do better next time, or they give us the time to rest and gather energy for the next goal we want to work toward.

Of course, learning to accept yourself and let go of cultural conditioning is easier said than done. For many of us, it’s a lifelong journey, if not the overarching theme of our lives. I wish there was a simple way to achieve it. I do, however, have some tips that can help you get there:

Unplug from productivity and self-improvement culture. Going online and seeing “Shakespeare wrote King Lear in quarantine, here’s how to maximize your quarantine time” and “here’s how I became a millionaire by age 22″ is not actually that motivating - in all likelihood, it’ll just make you feel bad about yourself. The internet is an absolute firehose of content about how you can do more, achieve more, squeeze more out of your day, and it’s completely overwhelming; honestly, most of us feel better when we stop pointing that firehose straight at our own face. It’s easier to believe that you are enough when you stop consuming content that tells you that you aren’t. Self-improvement culture looks positive on the surface, but we aren’t actually making ourselves better people by obsessing over our work and productivity - we’re just making ourselves miserable.

Ask yourself “who benefits from making me feel bad about myself?” It’s not a coincidence that we’ve built a culture obsessed with youth and productivity - that culture is making a lot of people very, very rich. Whenever you can be convinced that you aren’t thin enough, not pretty enough, not good enough, you can be convinced to run out and buy things that might fix the problem. That’s how we ended up with a $10 billion dollar self-improvement industry and a $532 billion dollar beauty industry. Content people are harder to sell to. Of course, knowing that people are profiting off your insecurities doesn’t magically make the insecurities go away - but it’s important to start thinking critically and asking yourself “where do my insecurities come from? Is there really something wrong with me, or is someone profiting from making people like me feel this way?”

Do things that make you happy, just for the sake of doing them. Paint a picture. Plant a garden. Learn to play the mandolin. Read cheesy romance novels. Find some things that you enjoy doing just for you - things that you don’t need to maximize, monetize or optimize. You don’t even need to be good at them. If you enjoy doing it, have at it. So many of us are encouraged to suck the joy out of our hobbies by turning them into a “side hustle” or another regimented form of self-improvement. Find some activities that just make your life better and do them, just for the sake of doing them.

Examine the role of social media in your life. Most of us don’t post a complete, unedited view of our lives on social media - we just post the highlights and keep the tough stuff - the rejections, the times we got ghosted, the bad hair days - to ourselves. And even if you know that cognitively, it still sucks to log onto social media when you’re having a “blah” week and find yourself bombarded with other people’s engagement announcements, med school acceptances, wedding pictures and photos of the new homes people just bought. Social media forces you to compare your “average” to everyone else’s “best”, all the time. And the numbers don’t help - social media lets you do an exact comparison of how many followers and likes you have compared to someone else, and seeing someone get more positive feedback than you can sting. Working on self-love means taking a hard look at the impact social media is having on your self-esteem. How much of your time do you spend on social media? How do you feel after you use social media? Are you following accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Do you ever feel bad about the number of likes or followers you have? Do you feel like your time on social media is wasted? Do you follow accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Stepping away from social media for your mental health is an important move for some people - you can still be happy for your friends and loved ones while acknowledging that it’s not good for you to have their achievements broadcast to you 24/7.

Surround yourself with good, supportive people. If you find that your circle of friends tends to diminish each other’s achievements, be overly critical of each other or go out of their way to one-up each other, that’s probably not a circle of friends that’s going to be good for you in the long run. Find people who are genuinely happy for you, and make you feel supported and loved for who you are. If that means you need to branch out of your current social circles, that’s okay - you can find great friends in surprising places, and it’s worth the initial awkwardness of getting to know a new person.

Challenge your definition of “success”. Success does not have to look like a high-paying job and a giant house and expensive cars and 2.5 honour roll children. It certainly can look that way, if you feel that those are meaningful goals for you, but it doesn’t have to look that way. A doctor is not necessarily “more successful” than a poet, and a lawyer is not necessarily “more successful” than a stay-at-home parent. The only person who gets to define what a “successful” life looks like is you. It takes time to unlearn the social conditioning that “money and prestige = success”, but it can be done. Success looks different for all of us.

Set goals that are personally meaningful to you. It’s important for all of us to think critically about what we want, and it’s even more important to think critically about why we want it. Do we want that degree program or that accomplishment or that job because it aligns with our interests? To impress others? To prove someone wrong? Or because we feel like we’re supposed to want it? Try to focus your energy on the goals that you want, that are personally meaningful to you. If that’s law school, great. If that’s selling homemade jam at the farmer’s market, that is equally great.

Remember that success does not have a deadline. I know this is very hard to believe in your early twenties, but your dreams do not shrivel up and blow away the day you turn 30. Life doesn’t end when your 20s are over. You haven’t missed your shot, and you don’t have to figure everything out right now. Growth and achievement are lifelong journeys - people find their dream jobs, accomplish their goals, finish degrees and meet the love of their life in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. The best book I read this year was “Where the Crawdads Sing” a novel that spent 32 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. It also happened to be the author’s first novel, and it came out when she was sixty-nine years old. Your dreams do not have an expiration date.

Capture the joy and positivity in your life. I think one of the most important ways to feel better about your life is to spend more time focusing on all the good things in your life, rather than focusing on all the ways you could be better. Rather than fixating on whether you could have applied for more scholarships or turned that B+ into an A-, spend more time reflecting on the happy memories you have of your time in college. Again, this isn’t something that will happen overnight - it’s a learned skill that you need to consciously work on. Interrupt yourself when you are starting to fixate on things you could have done better, and make yourself list out three things you enjoyed about college. Connect with old college friends you haven’t heard from in a while. Try to take more notice of good things in your life as they happen to you - take more pictures, keep a journal, make collages, start a scrapbook, keep a box of momentos. You don’t need to have a perfect life to be happy; it’s okay to work on being happy with the life you have.

Best of luck to you! MM

#Anonymous #AnsweredByMM #askmissmentelle

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macgyverseries · 3 years

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rebutting and debunking frequently used arguments against macriley

I made this 10-page google doc rant a while ago, but I never ended up posting it. Today, however, I woke up and chose violence. So here it is: my thoughts on frequently used arguments against macriley.

I took some quotes and arguments that people put online (reddit, tumblr..), and I debunked them all :p I feel like I always see the same arguments all the time, and I’m honestly getting a little tired of hearing them. I’m here to settle this once and for all.

and yes, i did manage to cut down the google doc by 3 pages :D (but it's still long af so rip my brain)

1.”Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father��

I can (mostly) get behind the argument that Mac and Riley shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship because of their super strong friendship. Some people really value that sole platonicness, and I get that.

But the argument that I can’t get behind is that: Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father figure”

If you google the definition of “father,” the first result that comes up is: “a man in relation to his children.”

Now, Jack was definitely the father figure to Riley, and I would consider her his child. He raised her. He helped shape her ideals and upbringing.

Mac only met Jack when he left MIT. So it was pretty much after Mac was raised (by Bozer’s parents haha), that Jack really came into his life. Mac already became his own person. (also, I always saw Mac and Jack as more of a bromance)

So because Riley and Mac met Jack at different periods of their lives, and they were raised differently, I wouldn’t say that they were siblings who were raised by the same father.

2. “The show writers left the impression that there was a huge age gap between them”

I understand this a little. I do think Riley was introduced as pretty young and idk naive? Because she was literally in highschool, and then she went to prison, and then she got released into the wild. Personally, when I started watching the show, I googled the whole cast. So I started the show knowing that they were the same age.

And also, the more I got to know Riley, the more that I thought that Riley was more mature and had an old soul herself. I think it was because she was just a dynamic and round character, who is well-developed.

But, I get first impressions. I feel like once you get stuck on an impression, it’s hard to go away from that.

Also, Jack would’ve totally shipped macriley, and you can’t change my mind.

3. "Riley isn't ready for a relationship"

I honestly think that this argument should be more geared towards Mac. He needs to figure himself out and go to therapy ffs. However, this person targeted Riley (the literal queen), so I shall defend her:

I understand wanting Riley to take some time off, and figure herself out before going straight into another relationship with someone. But here’s the thing. Throughout the first few seasons Riley’s character was very well established, and she didn’t have any partners during that time. She has proven that she is a strong, well-rounded, independent woman (with or without a partner). So i think it is valid to say that she isn’t just some girl who only has boy toys. She is much more than that.

My next point is that Riley has made it clear that she wants a lasting relationship with someone who will support her. When talking with Mac in 4.04, we see her express her interest in a stable, healthy relationship. It’s not wrong to go out and look for that potential partner. This applies to everyone (not just fictional characters): It’s going to take a few relationships and self-discovery, to find a good relationship, and people shouldn’t be shamed for searching for that.

Riley has only ever had two major boyfriends that I remember. First was Billy; she took that relationship very seriously. She really did seem happy with him. It was a shame that he cheated on her. Second was Aubrey. She also took that relationship very seriously. She had been living with him for six months (and they even had the cutest date nights!) So I wouldn't say that Riley only has boy toys. She has meaningful relationships.

Lastly, I think this was written when season four started airing, but it’s been over a year (and a pandemic) since Riley has dated. I think enough time has passed.

*4. I had to split this one up because, oh boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

4a. “If that was the direction they’d chosen to take with that relationship from square one… My issue with it is that Mac and Riley were presented to us as friends/ found siblings for three years. There were NO romantic vibes to speak of between them..”

I actually felt the same way about macriley. The thought of them being together in season one, made me want to throw up. I don’t think the writers intended on having macriley, and I was perfectly fine with that.

I know that people look for different things when they ship. Some really like having instant gratification with the spicy, hot, sexy parts of a relationship, like macdesi (which is why I was fine with the idea of shipping macdesi in the past).

I always wanted to see macriley do more: have hot, flirtatious banters/interactions. it can be hard to ship people who seem to be missing that part of the love equation. So i agree. It's definitely strange. And I understand if you genuinely have a hard time seeing the romantic potential of macriley, when the writers have only dragged out and shown us the platonic potential of them.

Also, the reason why it is difficult to see macriley as romantic, was because they ALWAYS PRIORITIZED AND WERE DRIVEN on their friendship. A partner should be friends first, and then makeout buddies second.

But just because people start off as friends, doesn’t mean that they still don’t have that potential to be lovers. Because guess what?! Feelings change. It’s now canon that Riley has feelings for Mac, and Mac always had feelings for Riley (but never acted on it).

I'm sorry, but you like a boomer when you say “bAcK iN mY dAy, tHeY dIdN’t HaVe fEeLiNgS fOr EaCh oThEr.” like okaAAAyyYYyYY????? We are not “back in your day” anymore. We are in the present. We are in today. And today, macriley is real :)

4b. “There’s the incredibly tired trope where long-term coworkers suddenly catch feelings for each other out of nowhere”

Personally, I will never get tired of the friends to lovers trope. I think the fact that Mac and Riley had such a strong friendship and foundation is what makes them perfect. Again, I know that some people just like instant gratification, but I love when a couple can take their time to have depth, emotion, and realness in their relationship.

Obviously I am biased because I have so much love for this trope, it's my favorite trope, but I don't see why you would use the “it’s overused” as reasoning to hate a ship. Just because a trope is used a lot, doesn’t mean it is bad (that’s probably why it is so good lmao). I can understand getting tired of it, and growing a dislike towards a trope. For example, I have grown an extreme dislike towards the love triangle.

A bit of a tangent: But the difference between overusing love triangles and overusing friends to lovers, is that love triangles aren’t just commonly used tropes. They are cliches. They cause unwanted drama and unnecessary hurt to one character. Whereas friends to lovers doesn’t involve as much drama and pain for a character. It is more of just angst between two people. And we know that they will get together eventually with a happy ending. So it was never really problematic.

And even then, the great thing about overusing or utilizing tropes, is that they can act as a guide. It allows the show writers and cast to make it personal, make it their own, adding their own special flair to it

I just don’t see the “this trope is used a lot” as a valid reasoning for disliking a ship .It just seems like this commenter doesn’t like the friends to lovers trope for the sake of not liking it.

I could be very wrong in my assumption of this person’s thoughts on friends to lovers, maybe there is a deeper reasoning as to why they don’t like it, but the tone that i interpreted when i read this section, was that they don’t have a real reason to dislike it, it’s more of just because.

4c.“then there's the fact that Riley had a mostly single Mac in her life for 3-4 years and she never even considered him romantically until he was with someone else”

First: Riley didn’t CHOOSE to fall in love. You may recall that “emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Second: Mac was broken up with Desi when she caught feelings for him. Plus, the moment Riley saw that Mac and Desi were getting happy together, she moved out and gave them space. She sacrificed her own feelings for his happiness, despite the fact that her heart was breaking.

4d. “and finally, Mac not only still doesn't seem to even have Riley on his radar in that way but he literally told another woman that he loves her just last week. Neither of them look particularly good here if they get together now.”

I'm assuming that this was written when 4.12 first aired. I'm also assuming that this comment was more directed towards the idea of Mac and Riley getting together immediately at the end of the season, rather than later down the road. I always saw of macriley as more of endgame material. That i would see them get together sometime in the future. So I agree. Macriley getting together during that time period, would be too rushed and unsatisfying.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So those were most of the supposed arguments that I saw for people who were against macriley, but I also wanted to provide some really good examples of people who were very respectable, and actually had valid reasoning for disliking them.

1. they just don’t like shipping in general

Ships can be annoying af. Seeing people ONLY focus on the ships is sometimes tiring. I, myself, even feel a little guilty making this post, because I need to chill and mind my own business lmaooo. I really should let people do whatever they want to do with their lives, and not get caught up in the ships, but here I am :p

Anyways, I know that there is a lot of unnecessary drama that comes with shipping, and it's tiring to see people constantly go on and on about romance, when there are other perfect things about the show.

2. No matter how hard they try, they just feel it.

This is literally so dumb (and a little hypocritical/self-contradictory), but if you have a gut feeling, and you just can’t get yourself to ship it, I get it. If you truly and genuinely believe that they are best platonic friends, I can't change your opinion. And I have respect for you (if you say it in a kind manner).

Here is a nice example of a person who expressed their opinion in a nice way, with no BS.

So the moral of the story: I can't control your deepest thoughts. I can't control your gut feelings. And that’s okay. But the moment that you start backing up your thoughts and insights with BS reasoning, is the moment that I lose respect for you.

#macriley #macgyver #sorry that was so freaking long

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memory-hoarder · 3 years

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WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

#self love #journaling #birthday #24 years old

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bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years

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Really long ask - Part 1: Hi, sorry for this long rant, but I just wanted to vent since I saw this latest story posted on AO3 and I am restraining myself on commenting on their story so I'm just letting my anger out here about it and other issues regarding fan-depiction of Hawks. It's vaguely related to your post on how DabiHawks or Dabi+Hawks stories make it all about Dabi and always made Hawks out to be the one who starts the problems in their relationship or is the one trying to get Dabi's

Content warning: passing mention of r*pe in a fanfiction.

LOOOONG post under the cut.

(Cont.)

Dabi's attentions when it's canon that it's the complete opposite. This latest story that came up in my feed was about Hawks "harassing" Dabi (who apparently has a backstory of r*pe) and Twice helps Dabi works out his feelings. Among the hoards of tags condemning Hawks, they decided to use "Hawks is very uncool in this fic heads up" so that's another one to add to my filters. I think I also have to block the "Dabi Needs a Hug" tags too bc he's always woobified like heck.

I really want to read stories where Hawks interacts with Twice since they have a bond/drama with each other, but people have been adding Dabi and either making it seem like Hawks has been gaslighting Dabi in their "relationship" or with Twice. I can acknowledge stories where Hawks feels guilty for what he had to do or Twice being anger/betrayed over Hawks' actions since that is actually what happened; but I will not stand for Dabi claiming Hawks took advantage of Twice or Twice and Dabi having feelings for each other with Hawks in the way bc Dabi is a) the one who let Hawks in b) knew Twice is gullible and c) used Twice as bait. Even in the stories that are cute/causal+funny, Hawks is always the one who gets threatened with fire, harsh insults, or guilted into compliance but the seriousness of the first 2 are always brushed off and the third kinda makes me want it that Hawks doesn't have friends bc most people write him as a bad friend who only cares about his own problems (especially the ones that write Hawks like a celebrity/night club person).

On writing Dabi, his issues always take priority over everything else, his family loves him, and the lov is always chill with him. He's usually written as the fun asshole/caretaker (bc of his big brother status or ablity to cook). Those factors aren't bad by itself, but it's extremely irritating when the writers/artists can give that level of care to Dabi, but just reduce Hawks to a meme who is a workaholic for the government/scared of punishment & not bc he really cares about the people he saves/helps. It's not like I hate the DabiHawks pairing, but the majority of the content (esp the recent ones), are frustrating to read & Hawks' character is usually written in bad out of character extremes. I am really mystified that I'm praying for canon content rather than fanmade most of the time.

Phew! After the back and forth it looks like we got to the end of that! (Or did we?! *Dun dun DUUUUN*) If not, though, feel free to keep the asks rolling. Lol Foxy and I are usually pretty happy to receive as many asks as people want to send even if it takes us a while, individually, to get to it. Now to finally address what you sent.

I find myself in a weird place when it comes to OOC fanfic because on the one hand people can write whatever they want, and I don’t really have a place to criticize them; but also when they blatantly and willingly misinterpret a character so they have grounds to bash on them it also leaves me acutely uncomfortable. I don’t think I’d call it “problematic” as much as a squick? Like, if they’re willing to blow past all the obvious proof to the contrary about their claims of a fictional character just because they hate them, then are they willing to do the same thing to a real person? Usually, those kinds of thoughts are pointlessly extreme, but we know those who unironically and/or unapologeticly call fans of the heroes “bootlickers” so... It’s like, ooc vent fics are also fine; and if you want to rewrite a character to fit the narrative scheme you’ve set up that’s cool as long as its tagged (“ooc [character]” or something) and/or just mention in the a/n that they knowingly and willingly mischaracterized them for the sake of the fic. Just. Don’t. Claim. It’s. Canon.

And speaking of canon, as much as I’m sure Horikoshi knew Hawks and Dabi were going to end up shipped I think it’s obvious that he never was going to canonically write them ending up together, yet here comes the “canon must validate my headcanon” crowd calling him a bad writer because the author had some bigger narrative goal in mind than having two pretty anime boys kissing.

And the worst part to me is, I feel there’s a distinct slice of the DabiHawks crowd missing out on some of the possibilities of this ship by intentionally mischaracterizing them. Like, the aesthetic equal/opposite draw of the ship is phenomenal as it is and I don’t even ship them, but I can see a wide range of possible fics based solely on the principle that they are canonically incompatible!

At the end of the day, Dabi is a dime-a-dozen edgelord - that pain in the butt OC that so many newbie D&D players make that they think is so deep and dark and mature, but is about as cookie-cutter as they come. It’s not that this kind of character is unsalvageable or a hopeless Gary Stu character, just that they don’t often come across as compelling in and of themselves or that they need more than just selfish hatred to carry them through a series. Two kinds of edgelords that can be done well are the “Out of the Ashes” edgelord and “I’ll Pull You Into Hell With Me” edgelord. The first kind recognizes there’s more to life than their sad backstory and getting even and thus choose to aspire to more noble causes - think Joel from The Last of Us. The second recognizes they’re actively doing wrong and come to embrace it - being more concerned with getting what they want than taking the moral high ground - think Frank Castle, aka the Punisher - and even these darker, “unsaveable” kinds of edgelord antiheroes can have redeeming qualities such as meeting and helping a young hopeful and telling them, “I know I’m on the road to hell, so if you want to save yourself you’d better not follow me.”

Dabi actually has what he needs to become the second type right now (assuming he’s Touya) and could even evolve into the first not unlike Kratos from God of War, but that potential can’t be fully recognized until you admit that he’s fundamentally self-centered and a bad person as-is. He may have the tragic backstory complete with justifiable hate at his genuinely abusive father, but rather than using that as fuel to see that never happen to anyone else like it did him - he just wants to get even. He burns people alive, knowing well he’s participating in the same destruction that his father committed to make him what he is now. He doesn’t recognize any of the merits of hero society and is only concerned with burning it to ash. He could use what happened to his family to incite compassion in his heart and take others under his wing, but instead he uses people as a mean to his own ends. He isn’t even proper grimdark - he’s just your run of the mill egotistical megalomaniac with a punk aesthetic.

And that’s still a good character in the grand scheme of things, maybe just not alone! Moreso, it’s a good villain and EVEN BETTER when you put him next to Hawks who is at his core:

Fundamentally Hopepunk!

Hopepunk is about being good and kind as an act of rebellion against a cruel and unfair world no matter how bleak it gets or how badly you’re beaten down. Despite his own cruel past, Hawks still has a heart to help others for no other reason than to help them, he constantly changes the odds to save as many people as he can when he’d be given a pass for letting the cards fall where they will, and not only is his aim to “help others” but to make sure that there’ll never be need for heroes again. He’s an active rebel against the system fighting with kindness and goodness, fervently looking and listening for the next opportunity to do good.

In agreement with you, Hawks and Twice are interesting to explore because while Twice is an optimist looking to make the world a better place, he’s still a step or two removed from Hawks’ worldview because Twice refuses to let go of the “family” he found for himself while Hawks is willing to sacrifice himself for others. That dynamic is so interesting, and it’s what made them so initially compatible and subsequently heartbreaking in canon.

And it’s such a disappointment to see this unwaveringly earnest character reduced to “shitty fratboy” so often. For a lot of people newer to his character I can understand the confusion, but there really isn’t an excuse if you’ve been reading the series, and the possibilities for fics with this canon personality are just so much more interesting to explore, especially with Dabi as his sort-of opposite.

For DabiHawks to work well, you have to recognize that something has to give in either of them. Some of the juiciest, most angsty content is when you have two characters grow close together over commonalities only to be reminded that despite everything else they share, that One Thing will always keep them from truly being able to see eye-to-eye. Either Dabi has to grow past his hatred and relearn compassion and empathy, or Hawks has to lose grip of that hopeful vision he has and fall into despair. Both options are good to explore, but both require the acknowledgement that Dabi’s view of the world is fundamentally bleak and selfish, especially compared to Hawks’. For a supposed revolutionary out to change the world for the better whose a diamond in the rough with a heart of gold, that’s not exactly on-brand; and at the end of the day the issue is that some are unwilling to admit that what they wanted Dabi to be is likely not going to happen and they love that fake version Dabi more than they love what Hawks actually stands for which is why Hawks always gets the shaft in the end.

I still personally hold a bit of a grudge against the DaiHawks ship as a whole purely because, as you said, Dabi always seems to take priority over Hawks instead of letting the two build a dynamic together. Hawks is always the one who has to give, and the torture porn some have made him go through to “make the ship work” is downright disturbing to me. Even at its height DabiHawks content completely flooded the Hawks character tags on Tumblr with some of the same problems that have persisted to this day such as emphasizing their aesthetic as opposed to their dynamic and rampant mischaracterization.

Anyway, that’s my long-winded response. What do you think, @autumn-foxfire?

#long post anon #autumn-foxfire #let's talk hawks

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kisilinramblings · 4 years

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I'm going to bring out a controversial ask. What are your thoughts on Chat's behaviour in Copycat? I have seen so many salters absolutely wreck the boy for that episode, especially for his last line about being heartbroken. Was what he did wrong? Completely. But I'm pretty sure he knows that. He never acted upon it again and defiently improved since then.

(Not gonna lie, Copycat was one of my favorite episodes during S1, haha)

Honestly, Ladybug herself wrecked him twice in front of him in that episode.

First, with this statement

LB : Chat Noir may annoy me to pieces, but he's never lied to me. CN : Thanks for the compliment... I think.

LB’s line is slightly different in the French dub. She points out “Chat Noir has a ton of flaws”. Still, goal is the same, even if she praises him for not being a liar, the first part hurt his ego there because it is what LB thinks of him. That he is not great. Decent, but not great.

Then we got this line a bit later.

CN : I’m so glad you could tell the real cat from the fake one. LB : Once I’ve figured out which Chat was really in love with me, it was a no brainer.

Here, CN understands that LB thinks he is joking about his feelings.

Throughout S1, LB is unaware of CN’s romantic feelings for her are genuine. Ever since Stoneheart part 2, she considers CN to be a jokester, so she interprets his flirting attempts , his charming attitude and the little nicknames he gives her as casual bantering. In other words, she doesn’t take him seriously.

So yeah, coming from his crush, this is bound to heartbreak him and he is just mentionning the obvious to himself and the audience. But I don’t think this was made to pity him but rather to show the consequences of his actions. That LB won’t love him for being jealous. And the episode never depicted Chat Noir as a winner after his display of jealousy.

I mean, when we watch the episode, we follow CN’s POV, yes, but his actions during that episode are never glorified or rewarded. Instead, Chat Noir is the butt of the joke. The Akumatized personifies him, makes him look like a bad individual and ridicules him. The police doesn’t believe CN and lock him down. Plagg’s comment about Adrien’s jealousy was on point. Chat Noir got trapped and outwitted and was unable to defeat the Akuma by himself like he intended. And finally, LB made some remarks about CN that annoyed/hurt him but were true.

Honestly, everything was against Chat Noir there because of his actions (I loved the episode for that).

Should CN have verbally apologized to Théo about lying to him and for being jealous? Of course! Would he had done so if LB wasn’t there? Who knows. However, LB was present and it was an important variable in the equation.

Should CN have told LB the truth instead of concealing it? Yes, but that he not what CN wanted. He sure didn’t let her know what happened when he called her when infiltrating Théo’s workshop.

LB : Chat Noir, where are you? CN : I’ve found his den. LB : Who? CN : My copycat. LB : I’m not getting you. CN : If you have been there this morning, you would know what I’m talking about. LB : Well, tell me where you are? CN : No. This is between me and him. I got myself into this mess, so now I’m going to get myself out.

Anyway later, during the battle against Copycat, LB stated she doesn’t like liars. And what did CN do earlier? Lie to Théo. And to complicate the matter, LB is oblivious about CN’s romantic feelings for her. Chat Noir already lost there and prefered to leave ASAP that telling her he got jealous. That doesn’t justify his actions but I can understand why he prefered to avoid the subject. Since he was about to detransform, he used it as an excuse and leaves, the tail between his legs, saving what he can. This is the consequences of his jealousy and he learned his lesson. If he wants LB to love him one day, he needs to not act jealously from now on. Otherwise, he is no better than his copycat.

Again, taking his leave without explaining what actually happened is not the most mature reaction (not to mention LB didn’t demand him to explain himself), but it is not the worst either. Imagine if he had left the scene as a sore loser fueled with angst against LB and/or Théo?

Here, he is just sad and mentions that both Théo and him have in common there. Only, he doesn’t get to be cheer up by LB.

Now, another rant some had with the episode is that CN made LB believed Copycat was her fault.

One thing to note though is that LB did miss the statue inauguration. She was supposed to be there. It was an engagement she took because everyone expected her to show up -- along with CN -- and waited for her. And it was important for Théo that LB was present at the unveiling because he wanted her to sign the picture he used as inspiration for his sculpture. He even plead the Mayor to wait a few more minutes, hoping LB would finally come. However, unbestknown to him, it was more important for LB to erase the embarrassing voicemail she had accidently left to her crush that taking part of an official ceremony she said she would be present to. And her absence did wound Théo as Hakwmoth pointed out :

“Disappointed by Ladybug and jealous of Chat Noir, the perfect formula for disaster”.

But like their whole phone discussion informed us, Chat Noir isn’t blaming her for his actions. If she had been there, she would have witnessed what happened, yes, but he also admits this mess was his fault. Thus why he was so adamant to solve things by himself and didn’t want LB to get involved. And LB sure didn’t wanted to talk about what emergency hold her and never demanded an explaination from Chat. So both avoid talking about what happened that morning and sweep it under the rug for different reasons.

The “his crush just got crushed” line is not Chat Noir made-up excuse either. It is still true as LB did break Théo’s heart for not being there at the unveiling ceremony of the statue he has worked so hard on. Thus why she apologized, signed the picture and complimented his work. She is not taking the blame for the Akumatization here. She is only apologizing because she has missed the ceremony she was supposed to attend. Nothing more.

If anything, Chat Noir displayed some empathy to Théo and gave him an occasion to have a few private minutes with LB. Which is definitively better than CN’s jealous reaction of keeping Théo away from LB from the beginning.

It is not a verbal apology from Chat, but this occasion obviously meant a lot to Théo even if the gesture is small. And Chat Noir is not rewarded or thanked for it because this should have been done from the beginning instead of letting his jealousy kick in.

Now, people can dislike the episode or disagree with that ending, saying it wasn’t satisfying enough for them. It’s their opinion. The morale of that part of the episode clearly shows that letting your jealousy get the better of you doesn’t make you a winner. Did they wanted more angst? Did they wanted Chat Noir to suffer even more for being immature and making a mistake by letting his emotion get the best of him? Should the show have expanded and explored on that venue on his character? Maybe for that last point. After all, they sure did so with Marinette afterwards like in Volpina, Animaestro or Ikari Gozen for example. And I know they are fans who are tired of romantic jealousy / envy interfering during a part of an episode. Because we -- older audiences -- already know that acting while motivated by such feelings is not romantic. That jealousy ain’t cute and can hurt other.

However, I don’t know what to say if there are people still mad over how a character acted during one episode that aired ages ago as we are currently waiting for S4. Not to mention Chat Noir is finally moving on from his crush on LB as shown during the S3 finale. The character is not at the same place anymore in his development. Like you can keep a character actions and reactions in mind as they might ressurface under different contexts in order to compare and note if there was a change. But aside of that? What use is there to be still mad? That, I will never understand I’m afraid =/

#miraculous ladybug #copycat #escape-reality-and-be-free

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elsaclack · 5 years

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hi! I'm rewatching the series and I just always wonder what people's perspectives are on jake and sophia (if he was really in love with her and such). You're characterization in your writing is always so good and I love your b99 meta/long responses to asks so I was curious about your thoughts.

hi!!! i got this ask the other day and i’ve been letting it sit because i’ve been having really bad brain fog all week and i wanted to be able to fully dedicate my focus to answering this bc it’s such an interesting question and i’ve actually thought about it a lot!!!

i will qualify this by saying that i can’t speak for everyone so there are probably people who will disagree with me and that’s fine!!! the great thing about the show is that it leaves a lot of motivations-type stuff and the in-between not-seen moments up to personal interpretation so there can be a lot of different answers to this question and none of them are right or wrong unless dan goor says otherwise lmao

SO in my opinion, i think jake genuinely had feelings for sophia and probably really thought he was in love with her at the time. like i think that in his mind, he had sort of realized that amy was with someone else and was not into him in that way and he accepted it, and was doing his best to move on. like maybe initially sophia was just going to be a drunken one-night stand, but upon realizing that she was In His Life for better or worse, he also realized he actually has a lot in common with her and finds her genuinely funny and was attracted to her beyond just physical looks. so like yeah i definitely think that jake had real feelings for sophia - that’s why he stays with her for several episodes after amy and teddy break up. like i never got the feeling that jake was just bidding his time with sophia while waiting to make a move on amy after x amount of time passed post-breakup - like he was with sophia that whole time and was doing his best to connect with her coworkers/be more involved in her life and he was legitimately crushed after she broke up with him. he even spent the whole episode after their breakup trying to distract himself from constantly checking his phone for new messages from her. like that was very real and tbh i felt it in my soul, and people don’t act like that unless they were emotionally invested in a person

BUT i also think jake never really stopped having feelings for amy. it’s like i said, he’d come to the conclusion that amy was not interested in him and would most likely Never be interested in him in that way, so rather than disrespecting her and wasting his own time by waiting around on the remote possibility that she might someday develop feelings for him, he decided to move on with his life and find romantic fulfillment elsewhere. but like clearly we all know that doesn’t end up working out (for either of them lmao suckers) - in my head i think jake had convinced himself that his feelings for amy were gone and it was all purely platonic and he was genuinely happy with sophia and honestly probably would have stayed with her indefinitely (idk about a marriage proposal for them...i go back and forth but s2 jake still kind of strikes me as being afraid of commitment, i think he developed and matured later on within his relationship with amy to the point where he felt confident proposing and idk that that would have happened with sophia) but i think it was like trying to deny a fundamental part of who he is by pretending like he didn’t have feelings for amy. he could keep up a charade for a while, even convince himself that the feelings weren’t there anymore, but eventually the feelings came surging back, arguably stronger than they were before. i don’t think jake was ever lying to sophia or leading her on or anything, i think he legitimately thought at one point that sophia was The One for him, but after falling in love with amy and marrying her and starting a life with her, what he had with sophia is nothing more than a pale imitation of love. i mean i think that’s the case with most relationships that precede Real True Love - they feel so real and intense and cosmic at the moment, but once you find the Real Thing, everything that came before it sort of falls flat.

idk i don’t mean to like...romanticize...romance...especially bc i’m single and i haven’t had real romantic feelings (beyond like an occasional fleeting glimmer of attraction) for anyone in a long time, but like i’ve been in relationships that have felt all-consuming and heart-stopping at the time that ended similarly to the way things ended for jake and sophia and it was CRUSHING in the moment, but now that i’ve had some distance and i’ve grown and matured as a person, i can look back and understand that we were fundamentally different people and even if x thing that caused the breakup hadn’t happened, we probably would have broken up eventually anyways. and i think Finding True Love just further emphasizes that for a lot of people

not saying finding true love is the end-all be-all purpose of life or anything god knows fulfillment can be found in SO MANY other places, but in this specific case i think that’s basically what happened for jake. what was love at the time became a flickering baby candle flame of attraction compared to the all-consuming wildfire that is how he feels about amy.

ew i hate myself lmfao

anyways THANK U i always feel like i ramble on for way too long when i get asks like this so it’s encouraging to know people even read them let alone like them?? you’re v kind and i appreciate u VERY much

#my b99 meta #b99 #em speaks #jake x amy #jake peralta #sophia perez #amy santiago #jake x sophia #tbh

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burden-you · 6 years

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hey! I was wondering if you would mind talking about your first year as a music teacher and the steps you had to take to become a teacher? I'm currently going to school for elementary education. I'm close to being halfway finished with my degree. One of biggest concerns about studying teaching is the praxis and the certification process. I still have quite a ways for all of that but i'm not the greatest when it comes to test taking. Do you enjoy what you do? What are your pros and cons?

:’) a sweet message, thanks for sending. i can talk about this stuff all day so i’d be more than happy to offer some insight.

first off, i think it says a lot about your resolve that you’re thinking so proactively towards the certification process - it creeps up on everyone, but it’s not an impossible hurdle. i was able to get my initial certification by graduating with an education degree (complete with student teaching hours) and passing the two certification exams required for music teaching certification in my state. i prepared for the exams by downloading free practice tests off my state’s certification website. i would say the hardest challenge with the actual tests was having the endurance to sit in silence for 4 hours working intensively (definitely not something i’ve had to do since like, the SATs) and “beating” the format of the tests. for example, the reading and writing one i had to take wasn’t difficult in terms of content, but knowing how the test wanted me to choose answers and respond to short prompts definitely took some practice. i found that some of the questions were laid out almost identically to the practice ones i took, so i’d definitely recommend looking into those. it also helps to put yourself in a setting that would be similar to the test-taking environment, like renting a quiet study room in your library if that’s an option. also! i’m not sure what your advisor has suggested for you and your peers, but i know in my major they greatly stressed taking the tests sooner rather than later - i made the mistake of putting mine off until my last semester of senior year, which made life a lot more hectic for me and delayed my certification. better to give yourself a window to retake if things don��t work out the first time.

as for steps i took to get my current job, my most marketable experience by far was my student teaching. i’m not sure how it works for your school or program, but something that i did while i was getting observation hours in NYC classrooms (in the first half of my degree) was “scout out” what programs i might be interested in for student teaching. for example, while observing at a school, i would try to ask the teacher there as many questions as possible about their educational philosophy, and make note of how effective i thought their teaching was and what classes they got to teach. in some instances, i would build a relationship with that person over the course of a semester, sometimes to the point where they would entrust me to do pullouts with their students or incorporate my expertise into lessons in some way. for one particular program, the teacher and i clicked extremely well, and i was able to convince him to advocate for me to get placed there for my student teaching. my advisor took that preference into account when it came time to assign a teaching placement, and i ended up loving my time at the school. that teacher became one of my greatest mentors and helped me develop and refine unit plans, recorded videos of my teaching, and wrote a recommendation letter for me, all of which i was able to present at job interviews later on.

fundamentally, i care deeply about what i do, and find genuine enjoyment and fulfillment in it on a regular basis. that being said, being a “new” teacher can definitely feel grueling at times. i wouldn’t put myself through the long hours, endless behind-the-scenes work, and overall high stress if i didn’t feel so passionate about my work. i would say one of the biggest detractors so far in my first year has been advocating for myself in my workplace. it’s hard being the youngest and least experienced teacher in the room - with this profession in particular, people can be very set in their ways and not adaptive to fresh perspectives. it’s also difficult getting used to a new crop of students and earning their trust - a process that can be greatly rewarding for both parties, but can be met with resistance from not-quite-mature adolescents. i’m also still getting used to the idea of coming home and doing more work off the clock, which can feel pretty draining when everyone else you know gets to leave work behind and relax at the end of the day. as for the best parts of my career, i would say it’s finding moments to connect with students, whether that’s through shared interests, working through an obstacle in their music together, or watching them perform after working so hard for months. it brings me great joy to see them grow each day and to exhibit the qualities they’ll own as adults–qualities like compassion, perseverance, grit, respect, creativity, and a lifelong appreciation for music. i take pride in having a role in that and striving to have a lasting impact on their lives.

in the end, no one can convince you whether or not teaching is right for you - all of my best friends were education majors in school, and we’ve all faced sometimes extreme bouts of self-doubt and uncertainty. the odds are stacked against teachers, particularly in urban environments like mine, and i’m still dealing with those repercussions in my own ways. it helps deeply to find community in your peers and talk openly about these struggles and fears. senior year, my roommates and i would eat dinner and drink wine together at least once a week and just vent about problems we were having at school. your peers will understand you better than anyone else in these instances, and more often or not they’ll have words of advice or just an empathetic shoulder to lean on. i wish you the best and please feel free to message me again, on or off anon, if you want to talk more!

#anonymous

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stibnitebunnysblog · 4 years

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BY: DEL CASTILLO, SHAHONEY

DE LOS SANTOS, NEN

DURAN, CHRISTINE JOY

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines success as a favorable or desired outcome. It also defines success as the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence. Why is success tied to wealth? And why does being successful mean having lots of money and fame? But for me, success shouldn't be defined by how much money you make, how high your grade point average is, or what circle you navigate towards.

There isn't a one-word answer to define what success means. My personal definition of success is being rich without wealth. To be successful it is necessary to be rich, but how can you be rich without an overflowing bank account and a bursting wallet.

Become rich with experiences; ones you can look back upon without any regret. You can be rich with happiness; even when things don't always go as we planned. Have rich connections and bond with your family, friends and peers. Instead of wasting your days away staring at a clock, stop worrying and become rich with time. Keep expanding your mind by being rich with creativity and new ideas. There is so much more to being rich than having money.

Maybe you are going to focus on money rather than living an enriched lifestyle, maybe money is your definition of success but when you look up success in the dictionary I hope you can see past the simply worded definition. It is my hope that you can live a successful lifestyle without focusing on your bank statement and anything, that instead, you can live rich with happiness. Let us live because, let's face the fact, success isn't wealth.

VALUING OUR FAMILY

Family is the single most important part of our life. Ever since, they are the one who teach us about values and serve one another as well as sharing life's joys and sorrow. They said that "The Family is the first essential cell of human society". Family may be has nothing to do with genes but and everything to do with love, compassion and support. We can define the word family in many things and can mean anything. Either your friend is your family or your certain someone.

There's no perfect family in every part of this world. There's always a misunderstanding between each member. However, when you have nowhere else to go, family is your route. Family will welcome you with open arms and and will always forgave you despite all the mistakes you've done.

But let's be practical, not all family are like that. Sometimes, they will dumped you for being 'like this', 'like that', 'why can't you be like that someone'. If you didn't reached their expectations, they will be disappointed of you and accused you of being an irresponsible daughter/son. And that sucks.

No one wants to be ever compared over someone else. We have our own characteristics, prowess and anything. We differs in everything. The question is, 'Would you still follow your parents' order even though you are not happy at all? Would you give up your happiness for them?

One of you might answered YES, because how could we disobeyed them where in fact they are the one who raised and feed us. In specific, we are just scared to be dump thinking we have nowhere else to go and that we are used to have them in our back. And for the word family.

We value our family so much that even sacrificed our own happiness for them. But for they are always right and always will even how hard it is to reach their high expectations.

WHEN YOU ARE INTROVERT

Introvert people never had their comfort zone. They always enjoying spending their time alone. Being an introvert was really hard for me. I may be enjoying being alone but there's this something inside I was lacking about. I only had two real friends in class. One was my cousin and the other one was an otaku. There's this day when my otaku seatmate was absent and I have no pair for the activity. And my other seatmate wants to work with her friend who was on rank no.1. I just shrugged my shoulders off and started the activity right away. Working without a pair was really hard for me because the activity the teacher have given has a really long solution. But still I finished it.

Being alone without any other friends was no good. I felt a stabbed in my heart as I made my way to my room. I lying in my bed while looking up the ceiling and thinking about how bad my day was. I grabbed my journal from the cabinet and I started to write such emotional and mourning poems I've been keeping for a very long time. I was totally hurt and somewhat disappointed of myself as to why I am like this? Why I feel like I don't belong to them? What's worse is that I don't feel like I even exist when I'm around them.

My every day was no special at all. I woke up early and go to school then go home and write something in my journal. And that repeat endlessly.

But as time passes by, I can say I am better than I was. I concur that by writing poems, I expressed my emotions to I've been keeping for a very long time. It's like an effective medicine that gradually heals me. And with that I started to change myself slowly. I gained friends who genuinely cares for me and treating me like I belong to their group even though we just know each other not so long ago.

I recommend that when you are lonely, Tru to write something from your heart and vent your grudges and hatred through writing. Trust me, just by simply doing it, you will be better.

WHEN DETECTIVE NOVEL HITS YOU

Have you ever heard how cool detective novel is?

I was very late to discover such amazing detective novels. I was used to just chilling and minding my own business but when life's suddenly becomes boring, reading has been my counterpart. With that I also started to lost interest about mere things and anything which I can say a one good effect (my opinion). I was been told by my friends that I am no more my old self. I was stupid, I can say. I has this mind like a ten year old kid when I was in junior high. I lacked of knowledge about simple things and such. I want to pinch my old self for not getting matured early. Somehow I just laughed alone when I remembered how silly I was back then. But we all believe that people do change, don't we?

By reading detective novels, I started to think in a more mature way of solving problems rather than just giving vague explanations of who did that and why they did it. It catched my interest and preferences, I guess. Who wouldn't love mystery novels nowadays?

However, I've also got some quiet good benefits of reading these cool types of book is that-- as what I have experienced, you become the character that is there in the book. My perceptions in life has changed too and I believed it is because of the attitude of the character I was reading. Like I became keen observer, which was not so me. I also know how to crack codes and learned some. I was imagining myself like I was some sort of detective like Sherlock Holmes, Shinichi Kudo and of course, the very cool amongst all, Loki Mendez.

Some of you might think that it really does no good to me but everyone, we have this thing called taste and preferences. Like you can't just force someone to also like what you are liking. I keeps on recommending these books to my friends but it seemed like they were not interested at all. And that makes me disappointed.

If I were to choose amongst mystery novel and a romantic one. I will surely pick the former. Romantic novel is good but mystery novel is far more better.

Things have gone very hard right now because I couldn't buy any of those books displayed in the store. Like it's teasing me because I have no money to spend for them. I was really trying my best to save money to buy those but school payments is dragging me down.

Nonetheless, I believe time will come and I'd have it my hand while making a gargling sound saying 'my precious' using Smeagol's voice. But anyway, no matter how hard the life right now, if I have my book, I wouldn't mind thinking about anything. I can say reading mystery novels has become one of my passion and I will never bothered giving up on it over anything non-sense this world has.

DREAMS OVER FRIENDSHIP? FRIENDSHIP OVER DREAMS?

Dreams and friendship, should you choose between them? Shall you pursue one and leave the other alone? Or, should you pursue your dreams with your friends?

Let's talk about dreaming first. Dreams are meant to be live. I've read and heard about this, which made me think, other people around me reached their dreams without their old friends. I've seen them on their social medias. And others are so busy with their dreams that they've forgotten about their friends while others are busy hanging out with their friends that they've forgotten about their dreams.

Then what is friendship? Is it a bad thing especially when you're achieving goals in life or rather, it would help you to become stronger. Friendship is just a wonderful thing that could happen between people. It's like God has given you another brother or sister that you treat them as you family. Based from what I've experienced, other friends stayed longer than love relationship. Some I've cut them out of my life. The reason why is that they aren't real and bad-mouthed me behind my back. It really does take years before you realize what kind of relationship do you have with this people. Are they too clingy? Are they fake? Leaving you behind? Or a true friend/s that wouldn't leave you in case of trouble?. We can never know.

Dreams and friendship are both wonderful things made by God, through our minds and hearts. These people are talking can tear you apart, can make you cry or laugh. But then at the end of the day, would it be better if you could reach and live your dreams together with your friend. A strong bond that will motivate you to work harder and to achieve more goals together.

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Rio & Buster

Rio: I wanna come over Rio: Be awake Buster: I want you to come over but you can't Rio: I'll be extra quiet Rio: Promise Buster: I already know that's a promise that I could easily make you break Buster: But that's not the reason Rio: Why not then? 😡 Buster: Promise you won't actually freak out first Rio: Who's there Buster: Promise Rio: I ain't promising that when you've got someone there Rio: fuck off Buster: It's not like that Buster: Edie's here Rio: Oh Rio: Umm, why, like??? Buster: The hospital wouldn't let her leave with her boyfriend so I went to get her Buster: She's alright now, but yeah Rio: WHAT Rio: why was she in hospital? Rio: and what the fuck did he do Buster: She's just been partying too hard, like Buster: Same goes for her, but he's also a cunt on top of that Buster: him* Rio: Why did she call you and not me Rio: Fuck's sake Buster: She probably didn't wanna worry you Buster: It's not like she knows we talk Rio: Silly cow Rio: I'll come and get her Buster: Don't Buster: She isn't gonna trust me next time if she reckons I told you Rio: She should be coming to one of us Buster: Well, she ain't Buster: At least it was me she came to Buster: Christ knows what any of her friends would do Rio: I'm not saying anything against you Rio: but Rio: you said she's alright, yeah? Buster: Not now you can't call me a cheater, like Buster: Yeah she is Buster: Not trashing my house or anything so she must have got her fill of chaos at the hospital Rio: I didn't call you a cheater Rio: Good Rio: hopefully she's trashed enough to pass out and keep the damages minimal Rio: send me the bill otherwise Buster: As good as, babe Buster: Fuck that, not gonna be half a hero when I've got this far Buster: She did her damage to that boy from what I could understand of her chatter so I'm good Rio: You're very vague Rio: it's going to get you in trouble, babe Rio: I was just pointing it out Rio: 🙄 Good Lord Rio: Someone needed to and not sad to see the back of him but honestly Buster: Fuck off Buster: You're literally the only person who's ever accused me of that. Rather be called a cheater, like Buster: I was just trying to keep you calm Buster: And not be a massive snitch Buster: Anyway, is it even your birthday if you don't have a fight? Come on Rio: Well someone's got to tell you then Rio: So mysterious Rio: A snitch? Don't be so childish Rio: Not with a grown ass man she doesn't need one Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm mature enough to be your sister's designated adult Buster: And you love me so Rio: 😏 Rio: really? that's a brag you wanna take? Rio: little desperate, babe Buster: You wanna start? Who hit up who? Buster: You're desperate for me, babe Buster: 😏 Rio: Was, maybe Rio: but over it now Buster: Bullshit Rio: Put us right off you have Buster: You'd be in bed asleep if that were true Buster: Keeping this convo going instead Rio: You wanna go take care of Eds that bad Rio: Be my guest Buster: Been there and done that Buster: She's got everything she needs Rio: Aww, you want a 🥇 or a 🍪 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm not an amateur, that's all Buster joined the chat 5 hours ago Rio: It's appreciated, trust Buster: Not by me now that I know you wanna come over Rio: 💔 Rio: cockblocked Buster: Should be well used to it, like Buster: Years worth of it with you Rio: You blaming me? Cheek Buster: I'm just saying Rio: Don't be just saying nothing to me rn Buster: What? Rio: Well you think you're 💔 Rio: I came to you remember? Rio: gotta entertain myself now Buster: Baby Rio: I had a seriously good dream about you Buster: Yeah? Rio: Woke me up Rio: wish you were here Rio: put me back to sleep Buster: I wish I was there too Buster: But if I was you wouldn't wanna sleep Rio: I don't wanna Rio: I want you to wear me out for real Buster: I know Buster: Have you dreamed about me before? Rio: Daydreaming constantly Rio: usually you're here Rio: so not since forever ago Buster: I've done it before you were mine too Rio: Yeah? Rio: Tell me about it Buster: The real thing's better Buster: But I didn't know that yet, like Buster: Embarrassing Rio: Don't be embarrassed Rio: Nothing turns me on more than turning you on Buster: Good thing I didn't know that back when I was touching myself to your pictures Buster: I'd have never stopped Buster: It'd be me in hospital, like Rio: Would've stepped in before it got to that, babe Rio: completely selfish reasons, you'll be proud to know Buster: Come at me with that nurse uniform whenever, babe Rio: Add it to your list of demands Buster: I'll get my diary out, hold on Buster: Make a note Rio: Write down my IOU Rio: soon as you've got, thank you Buster: I'm gonna have to bring Edie back in the morning so if you can sneak out when I sneak her in, I'll give you the day Rio: She can walk! Rio: Too chivalrous for your own good, babe Buster: Just don't trust her not to get too comfy here in my luxury if I don't Buster: Or to end up actually at home instead of somewhere else Rio: Be kicking her out myself Rio: I put the work in 😒 Buster: You can come over now if you can honestly promise to be that quiet and unseen Rio: It's okay Rio: her birthday, not mine Buster: Like I told her, technically it ain't any more Rio: That'll make it alright when I'm screaming your name and begging you to make me cum again Buster: Fuck Rio: I need you properly Buster: I miss you so bad Rio: You wanna see how badly I miss you? Buster: Yeah Buster: Show me Rio: [Video] Buster: Jesus I need to make you miss me more often Rio: Please don't Rio: I want you, not this toy Buster: You look so fucking good wanting me though Rio: because I need you to want me back Buster: You know I do Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: I fucking love you Buster: I love you too, babe Rio: You're gonna get so many videos when you're back home Rio: be like the old days Buster: My teachers won't thank you but I will Buster: I'll be really grateful Rio: How grateful we talking? Buster: You'll see Rio: Please show me you now Rio: you're better than dream you too Buster: [sends own video] Rio: 😩 Rio: Bad idea Rio: got me fully ready to come over Rio: like just gotta find the ball gag 'cos Buster: Fuck Buster: Don't put that in my head unless you are coming Rio: Tell me I can't Buster: I can't Buster: I need you Rio: Okay Rio: I'll leave soon as Rio: not too proud to admit I will drive over just to have you cum for me Buster: Stay in the car and I'll come to you Buster: We can be louder out there Rio: You do know it's nearly the morning right Rio: respectable people getting up, like Buster: Not in this party postcode babe Buster: Would you rather your sister gets up? Think on Rio: Trust she can sleep through anything Rio: but I don't care either way Buster: Just be here Buster: I can't think clearly Rio: I never can when you're around Buster: I know Buster: Me either Rio: Gonna be a whole 'nother level of productive come September Rio: gonna be even more of a 🤓 babe Buster: Shut up Rio: Make me Buster: No Buster: Moan for me Rio: Again Rio: make me babe Buster: Hurry up Buster: I will when you get here Rio: I'm coming Rio: forgot the nurse's outfit i'm sorry Buster: Actions speak louder so I'm gonna need you to show me Buster: How sorry are you really? Rio: So sorry I've forgot some other items of clothing Buster: Christ Buster: I fucking love you Rio: Say it again Buster: I love you so much, Rio Rio: I love you, Buster Buster: Never stop saying it Buster: Or my name Rio: fuck me like only you do and that's all i can say or think Buster: Don't go back home Buster: I wanna make you cum so many times we both forget I have to leave Buster: I need so many memories there won't be room in my head for missing you Rio: Challenge accepted Buster: Good Rio: You'll not have time to miss me Rio: gonna turn so annoying, blowing your phone up with all my snaps Buster: I won't be mad about it Rio: Really? Rio: You must like me 😏 Buster: You're alright, like Rio: 😂 Rio: Cheers Buster: No worries Rio: So cute Buster: Shhhh Rio: Cute cute cute Rio: I'll never tell, don't worry, keeping it 🤫 Buster: 'Cause it's all yours Rio: 🍀 Rio: genuine Buster: Yeah Rio: Wish I could be smug about it Buster: You can, just not on Insta Buster: I'll let me be as smug as you want when you come in Buster: And take all the pics you want Rio: 😍🤤 Rio: gonna regret saying that Buster: You reckon? Rio: Know you're a poser, babe Rio: but I'm obsessed Buster: You know I can't get enough of you Rio: Means I don't have to stop then Buster: Don't Rio: As long as you don't Rio: Promise Buster: I won't Buster: I swear I'm not being dramatic, like it's just true that I can't Rio: I know the feeling Rio: Fucking hell Buster: I'm not sorry Buster: Not about any of it Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I can't be sorry right right now Buster: Good Rio: I'm here Rio: Come out and fuck me Buster: On my way Rio: The house is not that big Rio: don't tease me Buster: Say please and I promise I won't Rio: 😩 Buster: Go on Rio: Buster will you please come outside and touch me exactly where I need to be touched Buster: Okay baby

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