#i kno these ppl irl

[wh0re-behavi0r]

Haven't taken a photo in forever

#i know why #but i wish id take more photos of myself #like i feel like i dont have effortlessly beautiful days so i dont take pics #like i have to really try and get dresses #idk i kno everyone puts some effort in and is picky about what they present on sm #but like #sigh #i kno these ppl irl #theyre pretty like all the time lfmao #rant #negativity cw

[foolshoujo]

last wednesday evening my household received news of a passing within our family. because of this my activity may be spottier than normal, i know its already slower due to playing reload, but i want to thank everyone for their patience. next weekend its likely i will be traveling out of state to attend the funeral & say my final goodbyes, i may or may not be mobile during the travel but absent from here or im / disc communication regardless during that time frame.

while kind words are appreciated & im not saying they are unwanted; the best way to help or show support if you want is to just aid in distraction. asks, threads, plotting etc help more for me as a person than a ear to listen. so dont fret over special attention nor avoiding the topic of death that is so prevalent in this series, i'm alright & this online space is a good reprieve for me. again, thank you so much & have a good day !

#( ooc; farllee opens his yap. ) #death mention // #finally able to properly discuss the mood shift as the family is being more open abt it #im a private person by default so i just get a wee uncomfy tryin to talk about stuff even to like irl ppl around me so sorry for #being so vague ! but im mostly ok somewhat overwhelmed but im fine ! #unrelated but i wont be here much during the day today due to a preplanned fam thing that had no relation to this n that will be good #for the brain n for some of the directly effected fam which is mostly me LOL #anyways if theres another tag yall need for this post and the future rbs pls lemme kno ill gladly add it

[spaciebabie]

people keep telling me both irl and online that they are intimidated/scared of me and its kinda funny actually. how can you be scared of me????? SPACIE???? THAT GUY??????????

#spacie spoinks #im like the least intimidating person ever #i understand irl b/c i have been told i look scary (and also coupled w/the fact that i dont talk much unless i know ppl well enough) #ppl think i hate them er smthn man!!! my head is just empty and i like. observing. #or ppl think im angry or judging them. bro my face just sits like that 😔😭 #so. i mean i understand that. but. #then im a clown online. #but yk i guess having a fear of clowns is a common occurance so that's not too surprising #points and laughs at you /aff #i dont even kno what i look like so i just go off what other ppl tell me LOL #ppl see my irl and scream like they just got jumpscared when i look in their direction

[tiredandferal]

worst thing oliver did was pretending to be poor. all his other crimes pale in comparison to his lying about being from the slums when his parents seem lovely and hes from the suburbs

#yes its bc i kno ppl irl who lie about that too #saltburn

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭 #so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-] #unrelated

[girlwithfish]

i have like no public social media presence its sexy

#0 posts on insta i dont post stories #twitter is more chill but i dont rly use it crazy and its not for irl ppl lmao #I wanna link my spotify on my ig bc its the only thing pplneed to kno abt me but #my playlists r too personal for irls to see LOL

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

#this is what i look like irl #i luv their lil angry expression i kno this is how i look mean mugging ppl tryin 2 get them outta my way #like aww its just a little guy

[flustersluts]

r u comfy being included in sapphic n lesbian attraction

yes i am i think !!

#it's complicated basically #irl i basically just present as a guy unless u kno me well #and so i can feel guilty n kinda predatory participating in any kind of wlw settings online #@ the same time im definitely nb and my presentation and id would be a lot more fem if situations were different #and i identifu with being fem MUCH more than i feel like a guy / the fact that i present as a guy gives me a ton of dysphori #while i will never rlly actively do anything to b included in those settings i have zero problem eith ppl treating me as such fr the #purposes of attraction #and in fact i find it rlly rlly flattering and sweet:)) #sowwy super long answer #flusterasks

[spaciebabie]

okay i was gonna make a long winded post abt how being autistic and aplatonic fucks up any semblence of connectedness i am able ta feel w/my fellow humans but i got tired so let me just shorten it ta say:

when u dont feel motiv for friend make and u bad at making frend as well life! is hell at times. blah blah blah i feel abnormal all the time something something i am aware i do not socialize "normally" like others and it makes me self concious. blah blah blah sometimes i wish i could feel how alloplatonics feel. end post.

#vent #there's nothing wrong w/being apl or autistic its just my brain is being particularly mean rn #this is very. bare bones compared ta the orig post. but it was a lot of words and i wasnt conveying how i wanted #tldr? wall. imagine a wall between u and every person who u consider a friend. #the wall only goes away after fulfilling certain criteria. #u dont kno the criteria. u will feel disconnected from them until the wall goes away. #when will it go away? well. #something something ppl notice when i dont talk ta others and put me on the spot #making me extremely uncomfy #feeling very othered. actually have been dealing w/this feeling for years sigh #when do it end!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i just wanna feel normal in my interactions w/ppl :( #i dont even WANT more friends i just feel weird i dont have that many irl!!!! #screaming inta my pillow #i just needed ta yell inta the void

[skeetlebeetle]

i look insane rn. i hav a ref photo open of my bf on my laptop. i hav an oil pastel drawing of him on my desk. i hav a sketch of him on my lap cuz i wuz unhappy w the oil pastel drawing. wtf.. creepo…….

#this is normal ppl behavior i think but i j think i’m special yanno #this guy makez me wanna listen 2 creep by radiohead wtf the chokehold he haz on me is WILD #if u kno me irl die rn or tell no 1 #beetle says

[sodafrog13]

the absolute mortifying ordeal of my friend looking at the sketchbook that i just left completely open on my bed and seeing the gay ass fanart that i had drawn on that page and me proceeding to smack it away only for it to fall open on another page with gay ass fanart on it

#the trash speaks #she's also a trans fag so i wasn't worried about her like judging me or whatever #idk i just don't like showing most ppl i kno irl the stuff that i draw #like online i couldn't give two shits but like. it's different when its a person you see every day and sometimes eat lunch/dinner with y'kno #she even said that she liked it and thought it was good but i was so fucking embarassed that i started scream laughing #and had to go into the hallway while everyone else in our room (we were hanging out w ppl) laughed at me #(not to make fun of me but bc what i was doing was funny. which it was)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tfw u spend the day being catastrophically depressed then u remember how kush1na uzumak1 is treated by the plot of #narut0 and u get so fucking angry that u stop thinking abt how miserable u r for 2hrs as u furiously draw out an idea #it makes me so fucking mad. but like in a way that fun bc its like who cares its not that serious #and when i get depressed i just like. i dont give a fuck abt anything. there is a film between me and everything and nothing can touch me #except apparently my fucking insane feelings about narut0. like im genuinely so embarrassing when ppl irl make the mistake of talking abt #narut0 to me irl. like i get SO excited. i move my arms a lot and stamp my feet and just get real enthusiastic and my voice goes all weird #and i cant get my thoughts straight bc i have so so so much to say. which is like fine. its just embarrassing to me personally #bc i kno i tent to stay on the subjects im interested in for way longer than most ppl would probably enjoy #and after i watched star trek into darkness in hs i was like at my peak star trek phase and i was talking a mile a minute #and then my sister was like: y is your voice all weird? and it was like she slapped me in the face. slapped me thru time. u bitch 😭 #this is y im not allowed to enjoy things 😭 also bc im annoying abt it. ugh. anyway. point is i got so mad abt the misogyny of kishimoto #that i forgot how fucking awful i was feeling for a minute. so thank u for hating women so much u fucking bastard lol #when will i post the idea im planning? who tf knows. its gonna take. well idk how long itll take #unrelated

[rskbunny]

y'all: wait if I cut then I can't wear revealing clothes :((

me, forgettin there is literally fresh cuts on my arms: ehehe me me cute in my favourite short sleeve blouse <33

#shblr #baby cuts #baby cvts #text #sh #mine #you kno what some ppl irl might know just because I licherally will just forgor.

[chmydarling]

y'all.. 👀

bonus:

it marlon and lou in a mod au

#what do we think? do any of u see it?? #i've been toyin w the idea of finding lou an irl fc for a while #but of course i've been overthinkin every one of my options #bc that boy is too damn perfect to capture his likeness outside of the game #but for some reason the lovely alfie e from htgawm and many things besides popped into my head today #and i think i might just be able to see it.. #esp around the eyes and the eyebrows #and his height and v endearing dorkiness #i don't think i'd be using a fc much for lou #99% of my icons will prob be screencaps from in game #but i just think it might be neat maybe for aus + threads w ppl who use irl fcs? 🤔 #sdfksjg i dunno lemme kno what u think!! #[ ooc. ] #[ tbd. ]

[devilmaytrans]

(re last rb)

Saw a post on tiktok making fun of transmascs with "typical" names and i was like nothing is wrong with these names???? Why are u talking

#flower.txt #michael is pretty common i kno 2 irl tho i guess they are both cis from what i kno #but my point is. stip making fun of ppl for the names they pick for themselves #*stop #also the two i kno irl is from work my friends dad is also named michael #saw the name tobias on the list and was confused bc ive Never met a trans man with that name irl and if i have online i dont recall

[cutemeat]

i just spent the past 10 minutes watching that stupid fucking scene from S15 on Loop where dennis kisses franks head after hearing from his father for the first time ever in his life probably tells Dennis hes proud of him n dennis is holding back TEARS when he speaks holy fucking SHIT

#i have SO much to discuss with my therapist! #anyway.. they rlly will. hit u with the Ultimate Rejection from luther to mac in s13 finale #n then get me AGAIN with dennis in near tears over getting The Bare Minimum Of Approval from his father #NOBODY LAUGH NOBODY MAKE ANY JOKES RN!!!!!! #ITS TOO MUCH #they kno their audience (daddy issues) #this is why they gotta SLOWLY acclimate the boys to macdennis cuz otherwise the daddy issues WILL implode n somebody will get hurt irl #that was a joke but.. also maybe not LOL #U CANT TRIGGER THE DADDY ISSUES BEFORE PPL ARE READY OR ELSE THEY GO CRAZYYYYY #i mean... just look at the whole of the gang #ps i was trying to finish the slideshow n got sidetracked cuz i watched this scene again cuz i needed screencaps #now i am here LOL