#i just need him so bad yk? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kaiscumsock · 1 year

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as a feminist

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

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thinkin' about Bardaby and his illusion smoke...

#went on yet another bardaby bender. these are only part of it lmao #i am often seized by the fatal need to Draw Barnaby In Some Shape Or Form #but yes. thinking very hard about the illusion smoke #i feel like sometimes he uses it recreationally... mixed with other stuff to dilute it ofc #but it keeps the color!#im imagining that it can act sort of like a Mood Ring!#the core color that he exhales yk yk!#but using it full strength for proper illusions and such #he's gotta be careful about it! it'll fuck him up!#he's built up Quite The Resistance to illusions and illusion magic over his life #but everyone has their limits...#scribble salad #wh fantasy au #IM NOT USED TO DRAWING SMOKE. IT LOOKS BAD LMAO #i'll have to work on that! look up tutorials! Practice!#anyhow i think the other scribbles need their own post #its mainly bardaby and our little warlock...#there are three ways i love drawing barnaby #i love scribbling him angry. i love scribbling him with howdy. and i love scribbling him being soft w/ wally #side note i realized earlier that part of the reason why i love characters who are just so much bigger than everyone else #ex: poppy & barnaby #is bc then its like. they're the smaller guys' personal jungle gym lmao #free bed! free climbing wall! free bean bag! free Getting Tossed Around!!!!#all wrapped up with the wonderful bow of Friend!!!!#...my touch starvedness is showing isnt it. away with ye demons!!!

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lavend3r-stardust · 4 months

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That thing they do when they run their dick along your cunt and leave you anticipating when you're gonna be all fucked out just from the tip rubbing against your clit, pressing itself against your holes but not pushing inside you . . . Not just yet . . . They wanna draw it outta you, drag out every last orgasm from your throbbing little pussy and feel you clench around nothing as you whimper and beg them to fuck you, rocking your hips so something more than the head of their dick can fill you up

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juminies · 4 months

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Jumin and purposeful touches and glances in public. Him struggling to take his eyes off you whenever you aren't by his side because you'll always be the prettiest and most interesting thing in the room. Gestures that seem innocent to an onlooker but have an underlying implication for only the two of you. Beloved.

#I miss him so bad #I always post stuff like this at ridiculous times my brain gets crazy (crazier) about him when I'm sleepy #I just need to accompany him to ostentatious black tie events when he'd rather stay home and [REDACTED] instead yk..? 🩷#jumin han

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mattodore · 10 months

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forgot that the cas camera doesn't adjust for height sliders </3

#river dipping #ts4 #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #echthroi #this is pretty close to their height difference i think but i might scale both of them down to fit matthias better...#but then again if i do that theo will be. so small #and theo is just shy of the average male height so i don't really /want/ to shrink him bc he's pretty much my baseline #yk how i'm always saying that matthias fr only exists to be a love interest for theo..................................#the reason matthias is the height he is is just bc i wanted him to be the perfect height to kiss theo's forehead just while standing there #like. kdjnhdkgjhndkjgnhn that's all #i need to get imani in here and edit her height too. she's taller than theo but she's not quite as tall as matthias #(unless she's in heels)#her and matthias are tall as hell................................. moaned out loud thinking abt that sorry my bad #but anyway they both went through a crazy growth spurt at the same time that's why they're both tall in their teen years in that edit #i made for them for matthias's birthday back in april #.......man. i should start working on theo's edit poses and sets for his birthday... i want it to be so good #like i already know what i want to do and everything. but i still haven't made kid theo just him as a teenager #... how did i get here #in the tags for ten minutes just talking abt anything apparently. anyway. time to check the recolorsssss #i feel like the recolored top i want to use as a permanent Look for theo isn't gonna work #i might need a different piece of cc for it... we'll see

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wormy-worm · 21 days

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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

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xythlia · 5 months

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my bf being a therapist is actually really enlightening because I've learned a whole lot about how to spot a bad therapist

#hes someone who's like legitimately dedicated himself to being a genuinely good therapist #his patients are pretty much exclusively people that have felt like other therapists gave up on them #he talks every day about them in non hippa violating vague terms but hes always so happy talking about them #& just being like oh my Thursday patients making really good progress im really proud of them stuff like that #he takes on overnight er shifts at the hospital so they call him in if they need psych evals for er patients #he does that because i guess a lot of the time coming in thru er is really rough & can be traumatic for ppl already in a bad spot #so he really tries to turn it into at least a less horrible experience I mean nobodies having a good time if they're there for er psych yk #but hes just extremely dedicated to trying his best to be a good therapist for people & really takes his ethics seriously #i feel a lot of like pride by proxy & im glad hes doing something he really loves

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falldogbombsthemoon · 11 days

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Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

#vent following #its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother #no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism.#there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that.#he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that #anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like #“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case #yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me.#and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping #and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline.#and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me #not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad.#i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute #i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself.#but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion #i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing #but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone #and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after.#i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn #quinns daily yapping post #rather #quinns personal hell

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todayisafridaynight · 3 months

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one day ill stop treating aoki like he was a guy i personally knew that died but todays not that day

#snap chats #if aoki WAS an actual guy i wouldve clicked my heels at his death but no he's a funny fictional guy so im allowed to be dramatic #feels like the first week after i saw aoki die in y7 like Man.. except now there's rage .... ok even more rage who am i kidding--#IW just reopened the wounds i think JVLAKVJEALKV #reopened the wounds and put vinegar and salt in them but anyway. before i start that rant again.#when is ebay gonna start selling the funeral merch no one knows how bad i need the aoki one at this point #i was watching a y7 randomizer and </3 i started cackling cause aoki behaves the same #I.E. he has to be the last enemy standing before the fight ends AND he still summons enemies #so im just watching this poor guy realize this and then become horrified as aoki summons Another Aoki #and THAT ONE starts summoning more units and 💀 STOP HIM #then yk the stream ended but it was still playing the last bits of aoki's theme and. :miku:#god his boss theme is still so good i could cry thinking of it ..... his and tendos are such phenomenal tracks to end the game with #aoki you still suck but i didnt cherish you enough somehow im not sorry and you deserve to be dead but i also miss you #i should replay y7 .... sorry im mental...#liking aoki while knowing he sucks is so fun because i flip flop with saying i love him but also stressing he sucks #i need everyone to know he's not likable and shouldn't be liked but i had a tohru adachi phase in high school so im already a lost cause #ok bye im gonna drink a pot of tea and question where i went wrong as an individual

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fansids · 11 months

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Welp, I've finished the season 4 special...

Anyway-

#the finale wasn't bad btw. It's just it coupled with season 4 and 3 has me tired #I'm sure a lot of people like it #I'm honestly just really tired #I think I've just fallen deeply out of love with lmk #which is sad cause it had me by a chokehold for years #I could rant but I no longer like the show enough to give such an emotional response #Season 3 was already very high stakes and emotional. Season 4 did not need to be #even if I agreed with all the decisions they made. Having 2 high stakes world ending situations with so much angst is emotionally exhaustin #what drew me to lmk to begin with was the villain of the week format it had going #low stakes episodical things with super fun and endearing characters yk #sure they could have an overarching story. I don't actually mind the LBD plot at all #but what they did to SWK... I started watching the show because I saw a clip with him in it and I loved it so much I sought it out #they've massacred my boy #and then the continued angst and stress they tossed onto Mk. I don't appreciate it #maybe I can focus on making aus instead #season 1 and 2 still hold a special place in my heart (season 1 waaayyy more than season 2)#so maybe I'll rewatch those and see if I feel anything #but as of now I think I'm done with the show #ah well

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southern--downpour · 1 year

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pros of new hyperfixation: dopamine :)

cons of new hyperfixation: i cannot focus on school work all i want to do is read trigun nothing else is interesting rn

#i have so much classwork i need to do but all my brain can do is go 'hehehehehe vash :)' and i cant do Shit abt it #I HAVE *THINGS* TO DO #last time i fixated this bad was dsmp and i literally failed a math class bc of that #and like. logically i know i should be doing stuff. i know this is probably gonna make me crash and fail. however.#entire rest of my brain is in fact still going 'hehehehehe vash :)' and i Cannot Do Anything About This Other Than Read More Trimax #shut up virgil #anyways. hehehehehhehehehheheheh vash :)))))#i started reading trimax ofc and i am fucking in love w/ the black/blonde hair he looks so cute dude #i really liked seeing nightows artsyle improve so far too #love the early art still ofc but its a little inconsistent in quality? + the text placement was SUPER confusing at times #like. it was just hard to figure out who was talking #that was like the main problem ive had reading it so far #but like thats been gettin progressively better and the art has gotten INSANE and im barely into maximum #also. that one page. where wolfwood tells vash to shoot him. yk the one.#that is all.#trigun :))))))#actually no that is not all that entire interaction has been rotating in my brain nonstop #holy shit its such a good scene #i really love wolfwood man #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this series is going to fucking kill me #/pos #this motherfucking hyperfix is here to stay apparently esp w/ stampede and the influx of new fans #like if this happened when i first watched og trigun i wouldve just been digging through old content and fan content #and probably wouldve drained it of dopamine pretty quick #but theres NEW content? that i can watch while its AIRING??? im not going to shut the fuck up!

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linthehero · 9 months

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do you know how conflicting it is when your favorite brcu characters are bryce and eldest elmer

#for one literally everybody loves bryce i dont need to explain why i like her #but i love all the elmers so much and the eldest elmer is a badass disabled villain too #and a wheelchair user no less #that’s a man after my cripple heart #and yk what he had every reason to be mad and want revenge #and do what he did to bryce after everything she did to him #but it’s also like NO BUT I LOVE BRCE #BUT THEN ITS LIKE NO BUT I LOVE ELMER AND BRYCE TRAUMATIZED HIM AND RUINED HIS LIFE #BUT THEN ITS LIKE NO BUT I LOVE BRYCE AND SHES A BAD BITCH FOR IT #SEE ITS JUST UGH #i cant even pick whos more of a favorite #i love them both so much dawg #bryce tankthrust #elmer phitts #eldest elmer #oldest elmer #the first elmer #idk what his tags are

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mattodore · 2 months

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okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well.#good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past...#but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare'#but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that.#….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭#whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

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vegaseatsass · 1 year

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GAP the Series ep 11 thoughts (spoilers!!)

I loved this episode so much, my god. I've been super overwhelmed and overextended the past bunch of days, so haven't been able to sit down and type about it yet, or backread the tag, but my love for a lot of what the episode did has only deepened so I guess lemme just try to get a few thoughts out real fast.

So many character choices I thought were so compelling and lovely:

Sam went to Grandma, and she tried to stand up to her; she bravely, earnestly tried. She put everything into holding her ground and appealing to her grandma's reason and her grandma's supposed love for her and what Sam knew with all her heart to be true. And she still failed, and not for any deeply externally compelling reason. Grandma just needed to outlast her, and Grandma knew it. Just needed to let Sam pour her heart and her truth out to her and deem all of it unworthy. Just needed to tell Sam the reason she's against her relationship is because she loves her, and because she worries for her, and society is homophobic, not Grandma, okay? and Sam crumbled. But Sam still fought to protect Mon in that crumbling! She carved out a slice of freedom for Mon even if she couldn't get it for herself.

Mon learned just how fucked up Sam's relationship with her grandmother was, moments before Sam asked her to go back to being her sidepiece. So without hesitation, Mon agreed. No questions asked. I genuinely really loved that! I knew it wasn't going to last and I knew Sam probably needed Mon to say no to push her to break the stalemate with Grandma, but as someone who loved her and understood her, who didn't blame her for the situation she was in, who knew it wasn't her role to demand Sam change the like fabric of her reality and family structure for Mon to love her and want to be with her, it was the right, loving call. Like I love that there was no drama or melancholy about it, and it only started to hurt Mon when Kirk showed up and started getting in her head. For someone who cares so much about societal "good"-ness and reputation, I do think being in an affair would wear Mon down long term, but to me it's sort of the flip side of Sam trying to confront Grandma all on her own, where both of them are facing something insurmountable with only the strength of their love for each other as a weapon, and... it's almost enough. Their love takes them both so far, but not all the way. It's just, idk, both realistic and romantic? If you could survive off love alone, they'd be golden, but reality sucks and they're up against more than they can handle with just the two of them.

Which brings me to my absolute fervent love for Nueng, and every single part of how she was brought in as the ringer. Sam knew she needed help. She didn't want to just let Mon walk away again, but she knew if she put herself back in a room with her grandmother, it would go down the same way. So... she asked for help. (So proud of her😭) Nueng's help did not come easily. She's not just some sassy strong-spined heroine. She's kept her distance all this time for a reason. Sure, she's been counseling her little sister and trying to push her to make decisions that allow for her own happiness, but that doesn't mean she's ready to retraumatize herself by going back into that house. Sam had to bribe her to get her to even consider it, and though we have no explanation for why Nueng was late, I wonder if it wasn't avoidance, a procrastinating dread. You wouldn't know either of these things were true from the confrontation itself. Nueng seemed untouchable. Sam seemed like someone who was having an intervention forced upon her against her will. Nueng was on fire, standing up to Grandma like she was built for it; it hurt to watch Sam, to watch how the very idea of breaking with Grandma tortured her. But actually, Nueng was hurting herself for her little sister's sake by being there; nothing she was doing was easy. And actually, as she sobbed and shook and covered her ears, Sam was accepting the absolutely vital help she herself had sought. She was making a break she wanted to make, but couldn't make on her own, and it hurt so much but it was what she wanted and chose. IDK DID I EXPLAIN THAT IN A WAY THAT MADE SENSE? I just loved the confrontation scene, so fucking much. I loved Sam and Nueng so, so much. I loved Mon, not wanting to be the source of Sam's pain but not wanting to leave her behind either, so fucking much. Just really really good shit.

This post is long enough so to end I'll just rattle off my new ships and call it a day:

Kirk/Grandma: IF YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER, both ways. I've felt this way for a few weeks but it was extra intense this episode. Leave Sam out of your little wedding fantasies, you weirdo freaks!!!!!! Pick out that jewelry for YOURSELVES!!!!!!!

Nueng/Jim: If Jim has it bad for Sam can you imagine what she felt growing up around her sister? Also she bragged about how rich she is this episode. Go sugar mama an Anuntrakul who is single and ready to love you as boldly and loudly as you love her, Jim! Bang her across every surface in your fancy house like you told Mon to do! Live your bliss and raise a beautiful non-conformist baby together. DO IT DO IT

Nueng/Jim/Nita: I just think they're all v hot and would ship in any combination, but as with Jim, Nita if you have it bad for Sam, have you considered her world-weary older sister who will catch every innuendo you throw her way and shove it back in your face? And like Jim deserves to be in the middle of that sandwich. i m h o

Ep 1, Ep 2, Ep 3, Ep 4, Ep 5, Ep 6, Ep 7, Ep8, Ep9, Ep10

#more to say about the maddening self-serving stupidity of kirk #genuinely think his writing is excellent at this point i want to kill him so bad #and about how every episode gives us another teeyuki scene that's like #ok? what is the backstory???#side series fucking when #but these were the major notes #lol i could have just typed tl;dr i love nueng. BUT YK!! MY GAY RITUALS. I NEED THEM #gap the series #gap the series spoilers #nueng anuntrakul

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louismygf · 1 year

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girls when they just finished watching aotv