#i just got this sudden need to do this

[sindirimba]

Bullhead (2011)

#matthias schoenaerts #bullhead #rundskop #gifs #i just got this sudden need to do this

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[hajihiko]

Hajime deserves as much love as possible. Also more ring pops lol

Him with a ring pop on each finger: no please we dont have dental

#Hes the only dentist they got! You expect him to fix his own cavities? D: #Not an art #Talky Talky Tuesday #Sudden thought of the THH remaining cast & friends needing anything that's hard to get or expensive and Makoto is always just like. I know #Hey Hajime my bestie my brother can you do top surgery 🙏🥺

[keeps-ache]

wink blink look !!

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sona #ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh #am i RIGHT guys hfhvs #:33 #//not many thoughts recently #not many thoughts for a while actually lol #must've talked myself weary! huh! #/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up #it's been like that for a minute ! #/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ? #i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>> #ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason #/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again #a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao #funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs #//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :) #i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh- #it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh #//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :> #it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll #that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh #/anyway gonna get back to it!! #i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr #they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>> #so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

oh He’s a little bit fucked up actually

#the nemesis speaks #nemesis art #submas #pokemon legends arceus #still trying to figure out how to draw him in a way that Works don't @ me #god it's been forever since i did art. i just got an itch to do some bullshit with the fluffy brush all of a sudden. you know how it is #hey why is it i can post writing no problem but i feel like i need to couch my art in thirty tags #i'm going. to shut up now.

[gifti3]

#to be fair... #its an idle game! #i turn it on #click 3 buttons and then let it run in the backgroud for several hours #anyways... #im trying to find a game to play but i might just lay down instead #i wanna do some type of sim but idk #max gentleman sexy buisness would be good but i need something more serious #idkkk #too many choices and i just end up freezing..... #what if i really got into dragon age all of a sudden lol #blush blush

[thedorfmirrin]

Rude.

#dorf's art #sketchy doodles #body horror #silly silly #ghhhh i got real sick all of a sudden day before yesterday its wearing on me #so a tiny silly just to make something to pass time ! #also pizzahead is entirely okay he just picks his face up and puts it back on like nothing happened #still the violent rage to punch a mans entire face off tsk tsk #pizza tower #pizza tower spoilers #peppino spaghetti #peppino #pizzahead #they need to go in a get along shirt #i cant get enough of these guys doing cartoony things and annoying each other forever

[parktheghost]

hey park do u have any advice for gcses

hi!! i can try:

don't stress too much solely based on your experience of mocks - when you do mocks you usually have like 10 exams all in one week, for actual gcses they're spread over a way longer time so it's not as rushed and you definitely feel way more prepared for them

for languages learning the vocab lists and knowing set phrases with complicated grammar will save you

for sciences and maths i would recommend looking at the specification for the subject (it's on the exam board's website) and doing a ridiculous amount of practice questions. like do as many as you can find/have time for, for gcse i found a lot of the questions were very similar to pre existing questions

for english i made huge mindmaps of each character and theme with quotes and quote analysis etc which really helped me with essays + quote learning

for geography and history. make concise notes, pray, and if all else fails make up plausible sounding statistics and dates

honestly the best thing to do in my opinion is practice papers/questions, the more you do of them the less stressful they feel and the easier they get

as soon as you're done with gcses and move onto a levels/whatever you're doing next gcses will feel completely pointless and you'll wonder why you were so scared about them. obviously try to do your best but remember it's not the end of the world if something goes badly and it's definitely not worth sacrificing mental health over!!!

good luck!! i hope this helps <33

#bear in mind im a massive nerd and spent way too much time revising #let me flex for a second: i got ten nines #you dont need to spend as much time as i did like somehow i was doing full days of revision with no breaks and that was NOT necessary #i wouldve done just as well if i'd taken breaks and focused harder when i was actually revising #i hope this helps i feel like i wrote too much and yet said nothing of substance #if you want more detailed advice or like more subject specific advice lmk!!!! #all of a sudden i feel like a studyblr blog #studyblr #gcses

[dragonanon]

Me at 13: Ew! I HATE girly shit! Who cares about smelling nice and looking like a model??

Me now at 24: Holy shit this body butter makes me smell like a key lime pie, and this magic stick can HIDE my acne?? Sign me tf up!!

#my teen self would be REPULSED by what i have become #i’ve never had any interest in make up before #but i find myself getting interested in maybe trying some minimalist stuff #trouble is i have NO CLUE wtf i’m doing with makeup #and if i ask my mom she might honestly teleport here just to start putting makeup on me lmao #my mom was always a bit salty that i wasn’t a girly girl growing up #so me expressing interest in anything even remotely girly makes her really excited #i honestly do not know where my sudden interest in makeup has come from #but its got me in a fucking chokehold #anyway im now on my way to sephora to buy a bunch of shit i don’t need #pray for my wallet

[simplydnp]

i hate the medical system <3

#sooooooo tired of old men talking to me like a child #i have two fucking degrees my guy. and one of them is pure mathematics. #dont explain things like im four and then go 'mmm i dont believe you' when i answer honestly. #i promise you. none of whatever the fuck youre doing. has anything to do with my sudden onset nerve pain. i promise. #its also exceptionally cool to be like 'hey have you broken your nose its like really crooked' #and also #'did you hit your head as a kid' because despite the several xrays. and doctors. and chiropractors ive had over the years. #apparently ive got a thick skull (bahduhmtss) #and when i say no i havent had any traumatic injuries like that. hes like mm well sometimes you just need time to remember #bestie i am twenty three years old. that is not a lot of years to recall. ive never had a concussion (or even close to) or motor accident. #i promise you if it happened @ birth it doesnt suddenly just present as nerve pain with absolutely no goddamn trigger. illness or otherwise #im sooo tired of the fighting. so tired of explaining the story over & over & over again. so tired of forms & questions & no fucking answers #c.text #illness tw #medical tw

[dailyeca]

at what point could you fall asleep to hushed giggles and quiet conversations instead of the usual silence?

(was it when you began to trust them?)

#eca orichird #daily eca #and vaguely #scarlet rose #stickers calvin #i always draw eca awake while the other two are asleep but i dont usually do it the other way around #its nice to think about when eca first accidentally falls asleep around them. hes so used to not trusting others and keeping his guard up #he's always used to waking up in an instant if something makes a sudden sound. he needs to stay alert because hes only got himself. #and at some point subconsciously his brain goes ''oh; chill; that's just stickers and scarlet. you can sleep. you're safe with them.'' #he wakes up and berates himself silently. ''idiot. these two are making you go soft. forgetting all your survival instincts.'' #but scarlet and stickers smile like the morning sun and tell him hello and oh did you have a good nap and he sighs. #it'll inevitably happen again. (is that so bad?)

[bunnihearted]

🏫🍃🌥️

#oooof... sleep was rough bc my face was super itchy. all of a sudden i got rashes in my face yesterday ?!?!? i have NEVER gotten that wtffff #hopefully it's just temporary nd will go away. it's still a tiny bit itchy but not as bad as yesterday :o #istg my life is a JOKE!!!! a joke!!!! rashes?!? what? maybe stress nd anxiety?? idk it's wild tho i cant deal w this #so i couldnt really fall asleep but i rested for a few hours #then i got up. took my dog out. had oatmeal. called the surgeron clinic. #and like... i told them abt my weight and they said im underweight?! and that my bmi is 18.9 and u need to have 19.... #i told her that i cant gain weight bc i cant eat anything. that i cant have more fat than i already do bc then it hurts too much #she said she'll talk to the anesthesia doctors and call me later. she hasnt called yet #i rlly hope they understand the situation?? and that i can still have my surgery bc what else am i supposed to do??? #ughhhh why cant anything ever just be easy and smooth for me?? #i am sooooo tired of all these hardships piling on top of eo #then i walked to school.. took me an hour and im spent now bc im so weak nd malnutrioned skskskks #and im in class... it's a long one. still more than an hour left :'( my head hurts #ugh i just wanna be fine for once in my life #but yeah im like 75% thru all the hard things i need to do today #just need to finish class nd then walk home nd then hopefully get a call back and then i can relax (as much as i can lol) #i hope the itching goes down (still wtf is my body doing? i have no patience for it anymore) nd i hope im not too underweight for surgery om

[hella1975]

i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl

#to the point my one mate today (the one i almost ditched in that seminar LMAO) ((WAIT I NEED TO TELL YOUSE ABOUT HIM)) #anyway! he was like 'oh i actually got you something!' which given our dynamic despite RECENT DEVELOPMENTS AHEM #is so unusual like he was NOT required to get me a gift. but then i immediately was like 'it's pringles isn't it' #and he was just like 'sigh. yeah' LMFAOOOOO #and you know what? chuffed to utter bits. ive already eaten half of them in 24 hours. scranning even more as i type this #anyway back to that guy. so you know i sometimes mention my flatmate from first year who also happens to be on my course #so off the bat we've got a weird friendship bc he's not just a coursemate bc i also lived with him #but also first year halls were assigned not chosen so it's not like we were actually FRIENDS #especially bc my flat did NOTTT get on lmfao so me and him were mainly just. acquaintances who lived and studied together? #very strange foundation to have with someone. but we went all of second year barely staying in contact #and then this year we live in the same area and for the LIFE of me i cant remember how we got back in contact #but all of a sudden we were messaging every day and meeting up before lectures and sitting together in them and stuyding together etc #and we get on REALLY well like he has my exact sense of humour i know ive posted about him several times #over the past three years being like 'me and this guy are the funniest people i know' 'he would do bits on tumblr' etc #AND THE OTHER WEEK HE ADMITTED THAT HE LIKES ME AND WE WENT ON A DATE #AND IT WENT REALLY WELL BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM #SO IM TRYING NOT TO PUT PRESSURE ON ANYTHING and i was super clear w him also that im not actively searching for anything #so if smthn happens organically then it happens but if not it's my final year and that will always take priority and he was super chill #so i dont feel like i HAVE to make a decision just yet but we're going out again tomorrow #and it's like. even if it doesnt become smthn romantic i just really click with him?? like we get on so well??? IT'S SO FUN #AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! WOOHOO! pringles post derailed by a MAN. awful #hella goes to uni

[freebooter4ever]

my 'ive given up on life but i cant live off maple syrup marshmallows and peanut butter sandwhiches i need to get groceries' outfit. for some reason it looks like i took this in daylight but its dark as night outside despite only been 6 and its the most depressing thing i should have gotten groceries in the sunlight ugh hindsight.

#journal shit #see here's the thing and its a thing specific to LA. #all my friends here need two weeks of notice to plan anything because everyone is so damn busy #so me keeping this entire weekend free under the assumption that we would do something was big for me lmao haha im so dumb #like i knew i wouldnt have time to see him during the conference and i planned no volunteering this weekend to make up for it #he must have known in advance he was gonna do this or had some hint??? a text message that cold is not a sudden decision #meanwhile i was still daydreaming about airplane museum trips and bringing him to the rest of my favorite running spots and blah blah blah #i got blindsided and i get to be the one stuck without plans #i guess you cant really give two weeks notice for the Hey This Isnt Working Out text though lollllll #im not mad at him i dont even really blame him that much im just lonely

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Tfw a scene hits you with such force and clarity, it's absolutely like a religious vision

When Astarion gets up in the middle of the night to handle the twins so they will be quiet and let Mercy sleep, Mercy sneaks off to the undercity ruins. Theyre gone for hours hunting any Bhaalists who are trying to maintain the ruins, slaughtering the Bhaalists, and then going to the altar to yell directly at Bhaal, only to be met with silence. Mercy screaming that he couldn't take anything else from them. They'd make damn sure of it. Just never saying "You took everything you wanted from me, but you cannot have the twins." And it's a threat. One that isn't answered.

Then returning to a fretting Astarion (bc they're both still unlearning their codependency)

#bat rambles #durge and astarion are still working through toxic habits after the tadpoles are dealt with #they're both codependent and until this point havent had to be separated #or even like exist in a way that wasnt together #Mercy’s his emotional support person #and mercy is a guard dog who needs a job and their job is protecting Astarion so no one can get close #while he shoots an arrow through their throat #but now mercy also is feeling protective of the twins #not even maternal projectiveness or anything #they just can see who they were in the twins and if they got a chance #even with them spilling so much blood their body remembers what their mind cannot #mercy got a second chance and theyre going to extend that to the kids #it's just complicated and scary #astarion is still very much in his head and just performing so he doesnt have to think about the Horrors #he's just playing 5D short-term chess but he doesnt think of the twins as people yet #at best theyre like disgusting little gnolls #tolerating bc he can see Mercy isnt rejecting them #and mercy is like preparing for him to be like. this is NOT what i want #even tho he's absolutely thinking to himself it's barely a blip in his immortal life span #the time needed to rear the kids enough to be self sufficient and independent is nothing #but mercy will NOT ask him to stay they would never ask him to do something they think he may not wanna do #but bc no communication he's very confused about why they're so fucking angry at him all of a sudden #bc theyre pushing him away #their act 1 relationship was v much defined by communication issues by two people who dont know who they are #never love an anchor

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

it’s weird how many compliments I get now for just. existing. and wearing pretty clothes. it’s nuts how differently people treat me based on what I wear. smth smth commentary on humanity whatever I’m just glad other ppl also like my skirts.

#blue chatter #genuinely I think part of it is just that I dress like a magical girl anime protagonist #hair bow poofy skirt color coordinated and themed with matching KN95 sparkly makeup sometimes #and also that people tend to compliment parts of your appearance that you have control over #like hair and clothes and makeup #bc it’s a way to compliment without being forward or objectifying someone #so now that I regularly wear clothing that is bright and colorful and outside the norm it’s noticeable #and o do genuinely put more effort into my appearance now #but it is interesting how much easier it is to make casual acquaintances with people #<- this is important in context. bc I am constantly off putting. I don’t mask much at school anymore. #so this is people complimenting someone who is constantly flinching at sudden noises and randomly twitches/stims #it’s intriguing to me #people approach?? me?? and compliment my outfit and then we chat abt where I got it #and then they say hi to me in class the next day #and suddenly I have someone I can email if I need to miss class and want that day’s notes #it’s so wild #this happens more the weirder I dress btw. if I’m wearing sparkles and a petticoat and a bunch of pins and hairclips I get more #positive attention. which is real intriguing to me. #but I also genuinely like dressing like this? it’s nice to be complimented and it makes me feel good #but I also do it when nobody sees me just bc I enjoy it #I feel more confident in myself and how I perceive myself and I think the confidence also helps #a few of my friends have commented that I hold myself very differently now #one jokingly calls it my ‘queer glowup’ bc this coincided w me being more open and accepting abt my queer identities #which I think is fun